New York Cares Day has come and gone without anything of real note to write about. I was really nervous about going yesterday, I'm not sure why exactly though. I think meeting other people's friends is a high pressure situation, and since I hadn't talked to the 3" guy in 2 weeks, it was making me uneasy.
The actual volunteering was nice, I had a really good time. It was a great day to be outside and helping out. I sound all humanitarian now. I spent a good deal of time with 3 or 4 of 3"s friends, and got to know some of them over the course of the day.
After the volunteering, everyone went home and the after-party was at a bar in Chelsea at 8:30. Of all the times I am late to everything, I showed up for this around 8:45. Strange... there was no one there that I recognized. I didn't think much of it until it got to be almost 9 and I was still the only one there. I called 3" to make sure I was in the right place, to which he confirmed I was indeed in the right place, but he and most of his friends who were coming were still in Queens. They were on their way, he promised, and I should wait for them. Finally, 2 of the girls I had spent a good portion of the day volunteering with showed up and we got to talking. Funny that during the day the topic of how everyone knew the 3" guy never came up. But over a couple of drinks, it did. So, as nondescript as I could, I just said, we went on a few dates. I mean, that is how I know him. I don't even know how to explain how I know him. To which the other girl laughed and said... oh that's great, you and L (name has been removed for anonymity). To which I replied, what? The girl went on to explain that there was another girl at the volunteer event that had dated 3" guy. I kind of had expected that there would be others, and that's ok... I just wanted to know which one she was, and I cursed myself for not paying closer attention to the group members earlier that day. Finally about 45 mins after I had been at the bar, 3" and his friends show up. When a bunch of people got up to get drinks, he moved over and was sitting next to me. He apologized for marking his territory on my neck a few weeks prior, and we were in mid conversation when his friends came back. He didn't seem to mind everyone hearing the story, so I didn't mind passing around the picture on my camera (see photo below). The girl who had been talking to me earlier about 3"s dating habits is on the same dating website as I am. We were talking about awkward moments on first dates, and the subject of height came up. She shared a story about a guy who was so tall he had to crouch down to give her a hug, the only story I had that was comparable was the 3" guy standing on his tippy toes at the end of our first date to give me a hug. That started an entire 3" bash session between me and my new found friend. 3" did not seem to appreciate it, but he's a good sport and took it well.
After most of the people had gone home, 3" guy decided to cozy up to me. After a whole day of the friendship treatment, I didn't react very well to this. I brought up the girl, L, who he apparently had dated. (I think I said something about how there were lots of girls on his team today). He looked really surprised. I told him how I knew, and he said, um, yeah, L is my ex-girlfriend. Ok. That's not what I was really expecting. I thought this girl had been someone he met and been on a few dates with, not someone who he had a relationship with. The night ended around 1, and 3" had to go back to Queens with his friends. We parted with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, no mention of hanging out again. I realized that I like him as the person he is, one on one. In a group, he's too showy, and when he's not around, well then I just don't like him at all. For now, I just can't care enough for the both of us.
However, I am hanging out with some of his friends that I befriended tomorrow. If his friends become my friends, this should make for an interesting situation.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Thursday, October 19, 2006
The Ol' Irish Brow
I thought being honest would deter the subway stalker. I thought he would no longer harass me on the subway and while waiting. Why do I allow myself to have such delusions of grandeur?
I was waiting for the train on the way home from school today, I left around 5, which is prime "subway stalker" time. But since I hadn't had any run-ins since the last interaction, I did not really think about it. I saw him before he saw me, but I didn't have time to get my book out or my headphones on, or anything really to look busy. He spotted me of course, and here's the weird thing... he must of had a friend waiting for the train across the platform because he shouted something across to him and looked over at me, back at his friend, and then made some sort of gesture I was trying not to see. I rolled my eyes, and backed up, hoping he wouldn't come over. No such luck. He comes over to me and says, and I quote, "why do you look like a librarian today?" I replied with something along the lines of, um.. because that's what I am... or something very witty like that. He goes on, not only do I look like a librarian, but I should have been wearing my glasses today, because I look hot in my glasses (I some how managed to pull off the librarian look without my librarian glasses, I guess somethings ARE meant to be). And when I replied that I didn't think so, he told me that I was a "hot commodity" and he touched my shoulder. I pulled back and told him I was most certainly not a hot commodity.
You would think that when someone pulls away from you when you touch them, they would stop trying to touch you... But somethings I guess are not that obvious to others. He kept poking me, in a flirty way, and I was really uncomfortable. He goes on to tell me that I look Irish today too. An Irish librarian. Yes! So when I said, well most people usually think I'm Irish because of the hair and the complexion, and he was like no, it's the eyebrows. What? I have Irish eyebrows? What ARE Irish eyebrows? He said that my glasses usually cover them, so he never noticed them before. I can't imagine why not, I mean, Irish eyebrows are the FIRST thing I notice on someone.
Things had reached that awkward moment where I just wanted him to leave, and to stop touching me, when finally the train is approaching the station. He asks (which surprised me) if I wanted him to ride in the subway car with me, or if I wanted him to leave me alone. To which I replied, Well, I have my book, so I think I'll be fine. And so he said goodbye, and says, Alright bye.... um... Erin? And I raise one of my (Irish) brows, and say with a smirk, Erica. And promptly turn away.
And so the saga continues of the subway stalker and the non-Irish lass on the C train in Brooklyn.
I was waiting for the train on the way home from school today, I left around 5, which is prime "subway stalker" time. But since I hadn't had any run-ins since the last interaction, I did not really think about it. I saw him before he saw me, but I didn't have time to get my book out or my headphones on, or anything really to look busy. He spotted me of course, and here's the weird thing... he must of had a friend waiting for the train across the platform because he shouted something across to him and looked over at me, back at his friend, and then made some sort of gesture I was trying not to see. I rolled my eyes, and backed up, hoping he wouldn't come over. No such luck. He comes over to me and says, and I quote, "why do you look like a librarian today?" I replied with something along the lines of, um.. because that's what I am... or something very witty like that. He goes on, not only do I look like a librarian, but I should have been wearing my glasses today, because I look hot in my glasses (I some how managed to pull off the librarian look without my librarian glasses, I guess somethings ARE meant to be). And when I replied that I didn't think so, he told me that I was a "hot commodity" and he touched my shoulder. I pulled back and told him I was most certainly not a hot commodity.
You would think that when someone pulls away from you when you touch them, they would stop trying to touch you... But somethings I guess are not that obvious to others. He kept poking me, in a flirty way, and I was really uncomfortable. He goes on to tell me that I look Irish today too. An Irish librarian. Yes! So when I said, well most people usually think I'm Irish because of the hair and the complexion, and he was like no, it's the eyebrows. What? I have Irish eyebrows? What ARE Irish eyebrows? He said that my glasses usually cover them, so he never noticed them before. I can't imagine why not, I mean, Irish eyebrows are the FIRST thing I notice on someone.
Things had reached that awkward moment where I just wanted him to leave, and to stop touching me, when finally the train is approaching the station. He asks (which surprised me) if I wanted him to ride in the subway car with me, or if I wanted him to leave me alone. To which I replied, Well, I have my book, so I think I'll be fine. And so he said goodbye, and says, Alright bye.... um... Erin? And I raise one of my (Irish) brows, and say with a smirk, Erica. And promptly turn away.
And so the saga continues of the subway stalker and the non-Irish lass on the C train in Brooklyn.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Rain Date
I went on a first date tonight! The first in over 7 weeks. That was quite a hiatus I took from dating, but it felt good to get back into the swing of things. I've decided that the 3'' guy isn't worth all the trouble I've been putting into caring. I will see him on Saturday this week, and I guess I'll see how that goes at his NY Cares event. I'll be going solo, all of his friends will be there... but I'm not stressing it.
Tonight's date was far from what I had expected. I was nervous. Very nervous. Possibly it's because I was away from 1st dating for almost 2 months. The weather today is a far from nice dating weather as you can possibly imagine. It's been raining steadily almost all day with not even a hint of dryness in there. It was cold and grey, and a day I would so much rather spend watching a movie, or reading a book... Not dressing up for a date. But, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do... right?
I was, however, looking forward to the food. Of course. Thai food. But not the usual neighborhood restaurant, I went for the trendy - loud restaurant, which was a decision that I stressed about for most of the day. I had spoken to the guy on the phone for about an hour last night. From the conversation I could tell that he was VERY shy, and very quiet. So when I said, Let's go to Joya (loud, trendy Thai restaurant), I immediately knew I should have opted for the other. But it turned out to be a good idea after all...
We met up around 6 at Joya. I was early, and managed to keep mostly dry. As I waited, I had a small nervous/anxiety attack where I just had no idea how I got back to square one of dating after all that time being away from it. I wanted to leave. He came in, and we had an awkward exchange where I think he went to shake my hand, but I don't shake hands on dates, so I went in for the hug... it was weird. Definitely an uncomfortable way to start the date. He was cute though. Definitely my type. He's tall (yay!), skinny, red haired, bespectacled... geeky cute. We were sat right by the open kitchen, which if Joya wasn't loud enough... sitting right next to the open flames and shouts of the chefs doesn't make it any easier to hear. But we managed. We ordered (and he didn't order Pad Thai!) and talked, the conversation was slow, but it progressed. He definitely warmed up as the date went on. I was not able to read him at all at the beginning of the date. I couldn't tell if he was interested or not, so I just played it as if he were. Either this worked in my favor, or he really was, but it was a good move on my part. When the conversation eased a little bit into a more natural give and take, we talked about a lot of things. He's very smart. It was a very intellectual conversation, and I felt like I was having a mental workout... in a good way. And then I start talking about my mosquito bites. Nothing like bringing an intellectual conversation to a halt than to talk about the mosquitoes that have taken over my apartment. I didn't scare him off though, and it maybe even made him more comfortable. We talked long after our meal had ended, and he mentioned that he wished it were nicer out so we could take a walk. I said the rain didn't bother me (what? who am I trying to kid??) and we could take a walk in the rain. This was probably not a great idea on my part. I do like a nice walk after dinner, and there is no better neighborhood to stroll around than mine (in my humble opinion!), but in the rain it is nothing but miserable and cold. So we walked for about 10 minutes, when we both decided that finding the subway would be a good idea. It's very awkward to walk with someone when you both are carrying umbrellas and are trying to stay as dry as possible. We got to the subway station when I remember that my metrocard is in my school bag during the week. I didn't have it with me, so I was going to have to walk home. I explained my situation, and told him that he should take the train from there, and I'd walk home, since it wasn't that far for me. He was a complete gentleman, and walked back with me. It was quite possibly one of the nicest gestures a guy has made for me on a first date. Walking you to the train is one thing... but walking you an entire subway stop down in the wind and rain is another thing completely. We had another awkward exchange when we said good-bye, it's hard to hug someone when you both have umbrellas and you're trying not to poke each other in the eye. But he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He's going away for a week or so, but said he'd like to get together when he's back, and he even suggested the activity. A planned second date on the first? That's a new development. I'm looking forward to seeing him again.
Tonight's date was far from what I had expected. I was nervous. Very nervous. Possibly it's because I was away from 1st dating for almost 2 months. The weather today is a far from nice dating weather as you can possibly imagine. It's been raining steadily almost all day with not even a hint of dryness in there. It was cold and grey, and a day I would so much rather spend watching a movie, or reading a book... Not dressing up for a date. But, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do... right?
I was, however, looking forward to the food. Of course. Thai food. But not the usual neighborhood restaurant, I went for the trendy - loud restaurant, which was a decision that I stressed about for most of the day. I had spoken to the guy on the phone for about an hour last night. From the conversation I could tell that he was VERY shy, and very quiet. So when I said, Let's go to Joya (loud, trendy Thai restaurant), I immediately knew I should have opted for the other. But it turned out to be a good idea after all...
We met up around 6 at Joya. I was early, and managed to keep mostly dry. As I waited, I had a small nervous/anxiety attack where I just had no idea how I got back to square one of dating after all that time being away from it. I wanted to leave. He came in, and we had an awkward exchange where I think he went to shake my hand, but I don't shake hands on dates, so I went in for the hug... it was weird. Definitely an uncomfortable way to start the date. He was cute though. Definitely my type. He's tall (yay!), skinny, red haired, bespectacled... geeky cute. We were sat right by the open kitchen, which if Joya wasn't loud enough... sitting right next to the open flames and shouts of the chefs doesn't make it any easier to hear. But we managed. We ordered (and he didn't order Pad Thai!) and talked, the conversation was slow, but it progressed. He definitely warmed up as the date went on. I was not able to read him at all at the beginning of the date. I couldn't tell if he was interested or not, so I just played it as if he were. Either this worked in my favor, or he really was, but it was a good move on my part. When the conversation eased a little bit into a more natural give and take, we talked about a lot of things. He's very smart. It was a very intellectual conversation, and I felt like I was having a mental workout... in a good way. And then I start talking about my mosquito bites. Nothing like bringing an intellectual conversation to a halt than to talk about the mosquitoes that have taken over my apartment. I didn't scare him off though, and it maybe even made him more comfortable. We talked long after our meal had ended, and he mentioned that he wished it were nicer out so we could take a walk. I said the rain didn't bother me (what? who am I trying to kid??) and we could take a walk in the rain. This was probably not a great idea on my part. I do like a nice walk after dinner, and there is no better neighborhood to stroll around than mine (in my humble opinion!), but in the rain it is nothing but miserable and cold. So we walked for about 10 minutes, when we both decided that finding the subway would be a good idea. It's very awkward to walk with someone when you both are carrying umbrellas and are trying to stay as dry as possible. We got to the subway station when I remember that my metrocard is in my school bag during the week. I didn't have it with me, so I was going to have to walk home. I explained my situation, and told him that he should take the train from there, and I'd walk home, since it wasn't that far for me. He was a complete gentleman, and walked back with me. It was quite possibly one of the nicest gestures a guy has made for me on a first date. Walking you to the train is one thing... but walking you an entire subway stop down in the wind and rain is another thing completely. We had another awkward exchange when we said good-bye, it's hard to hug someone when you both have umbrellas and you're trying not to poke each other in the eye. But he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He's going away for a week or so, but said he'd like to get together when he's back, and he even suggested the activity. A planned second date on the first? That's a new development. I'm looking forward to seeing him again.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Honesty
Maybe my last post for the subway stalker. I had a run in with the subway stalker earlier this week which required me to be honest to the depths of my soul and just tell him once and for all, I did not want him to call me anymore.
Here's how it all played out:
Tuesday morning I caught the A train (which runs express for all you non-subway connoisseurs) in hopes that it would catch up to a C train (the local), which I would transfer to, one stop before my school's stop. The C train was at the stop I needed it to be, but the conductors have a knack of being power hungry and close the doors right before you get on. So you really have to make a mad dash across the platform, which is exactly what I did. I run, literally, onto the C and to my luck, who is sitting right in the seat across from where i just ran in?? Yes. The subway stalker. Now I could have been mean (he already thinks I am), there were 2 other teachers from my school in the car, and I could've gone over to them and ignored him completely. But I was feeling kind of shocked and it was too early for me to think of anything, so I stood by the door and just said hi. He went on to talk to me about he thanks God everyday for his job, and I have no idea where this came from.. we were on the train for maybe 3 minutes. He definitely talked about God the whole time. So I thought it would be fun to tell him that I don't believe in God. He then goes on to say that he thanks God everyday for all the good he has brought into his life blah blah blah... and I say, but what about the bad things? He thanks God for those things to. I don't know, if you ask me, I don't thank anyone for the bad things that happen to me. In fact there's a lot of taking the lord's name in vain and unpleasantries when bad things happen to me. I just rolled my eyes when he said the whole thing about thanking God for the bad things too, and since we were out of the turnstile, I thought this was where our interaction would end.
Oh no. He says that he'll walk me out. Like to school? He's going to walk me to school? I'm not sure if this was his intention or not, we never got that far. He mentioned how he wasn't going to call me again, because I had never returned any of his phone calls. So if I wanted to, I could call him. My guilt conscience kicked in then, and of course I started saying how my phone had broke and I had to get a replacement (true), and in the process I lost all my phone numbers (lie - but it didn't matter, his number isn't in my phone anyway.) As I'm saying this, I'm hearing a voice in my head saying NO! WHY?? YOU HAD AN EASY OUT!! He was never going to call me again, if I didn't call him. Easy enough. I'm never going to call him even if did have his number. Why did I have to open my stupid mouth? His reply was, So you want me to call you then? I pause, think about all the times I felt bad when he called and called, and I never picked up. How I thought i should've just been honest with him from the start. So I turned to him and said, No, I don't want you to call me either. He was really taken back by that comment. Personally, I was too. I was proud of myself though. I was honest and now I don't have the fear of the subway stalker hanging over me every morning when I get on the train. I might see him. Maybe we'll say hi. But I made it clear that I am not interested. Honesty, finally.
Here's how it all played out:
Tuesday morning I caught the A train (which runs express for all you non-subway connoisseurs) in hopes that it would catch up to a C train (the local), which I would transfer to, one stop before my school's stop. The C train was at the stop I needed it to be, but the conductors have a knack of being power hungry and close the doors right before you get on. So you really have to make a mad dash across the platform, which is exactly what I did. I run, literally, onto the C and to my luck, who is sitting right in the seat across from where i just ran in?? Yes. The subway stalker. Now I could have been mean (he already thinks I am), there were 2 other teachers from my school in the car, and I could've gone over to them and ignored him completely. But I was feeling kind of shocked and it was too early for me to think of anything, so I stood by the door and just said hi. He went on to talk to me about he thanks God everyday for his job, and I have no idea where this came from.. we were on the train for maybe 3 minutes. He definitely talked about God the whole time. So I thought it would be fun to tell him that I don't believe in God. He then goes on to say that he thanks God everyday for all the good he has brought into his life blah blah blah... and I say, but what about the bad things? He thanks God for those things to. I don't know, if you ask me, I don't thank anyone for the bad things that happen to me. In fact there's a lot of taking the lord's name in vain and unpleasantries when bad things happen to me. I just rolled my eyes when he said the whole thing about thanking God for the bad things too, and since we were out of the turnstile, I thought this was where our interaction would end.
Oh no. He says that he'll walk me out. Like to school? He's going to walk me to school? I'm not sure if this was his intention or not, we never got that far. He mentioned how he wasn't going to call me again, because I had never returned any of his phone calls. So if I wanted to, I could call him. My guilt conscience kicked in then, and of course I started saying how my phone had broke and I had to get a replacement (true), and in the process I lost all my phone numbers (lie - but it didn't matter, his number isn't in my phone anyway.) As I'm saying this, I'm hearing a voice in my head saying NO! WHY?? YOU HAD AN EASY OUT!! He was never going to call me again, if I didn't call him. Easy enough. I'm never going to call him even if did have his number. Why did I have to open my stupid mouth? His reply was, So you want me to call you then? I pause, think about all the times I felt bad when he called and called, and I never picked up. How I thought i should've just been honest with him from the start. So I turned to him and said, No, I don't want you to call me either. He was really taken back by that comment. Personally, I was too. I was proud of myself though. I was honest and now I don't have the fear of the subway stalker hanging over me every morning when I get on the train. I might see him. Maybe we'll say hi. But I made it clear that I am not interested. Honesty, finally.
Monday, October 09, 2006
in 3's
Last night was date #3, with the 3" guy, 3 weeks after our last date. Actually, all 3 dates have been spaced out evenly... 3 weeks to the day between each one. I guess my last ditch effort worked to some extent (see below). Friday night after I posted the blog, freaked out a bit about being so lame, I went to bed around 2 am. I had just drifted off to sleep, and was in that hazy half awake, half asleep phase, when I heard a noise... it was one of those times where you hear something you recognize, and you know you should react to it. My first thought was... that's strange, I didn't set my alarm tonight. It was my phone, and it was 2:30, and it was the 3" guy calling me. After I have convinced him that no, he did not in fact wake me up (I am a liar!), he proceeds to tell me that I should have signed up for his volunteer thing earlier because apparently that night he had a party for all of his volunteers at some bar. Oh well. We talked on the phone for a while, not necessarily marathon length, but the conversation was over an hour. He asked me what I was doing for the rest of the weekend, and we decided to go out again on Sunday night. (making it 6 weeks to the day since date #1, and 3 weeks to day since date #2)
So last night was the 3rd date. We met up at the corner of 20th and 6th, near his work since he was working yesterday. We walked down to 3rd avenue, and back around up to Park on 19th where we stopped in for dinner at Duke's (note: same place I went to with the mullet guy). We had dinner, talked, laughed, cheered for the Eagles. It was all very nice, I guess. Maybe I was just tired, or maybe I wasn't finding him as entertaining as I had before, or maybe Duke's isn't a good place for me to date... whatever it was, I wasn't as into him as I had been on the previous date. I found less to talk about, but that's ok. He managed to carry the conversation for the both of us. I'm not saying it was a bad date. It most definitely was not! It was a very good date. And I had a lot of fun, it was just maybe too built up in my head because I was so convinced on how much I liked him. After dinner, he was very tired, and wanted to go home. He invited me to go back to his place, in Astoria (not close!), to hang out and watch some tv. Yeah right. But ok, I decided I'd go, hang out for a bit, and take the train home later that night. I had nothing else to do, why not? So we went back to his apartment... and somewhere on the N train the old feelings kicked back in. Maybe it is Duke's, and I need not to go there anymore on dates - it's good food, but it kills all romantic feelings whatsoever. I was glad that I had decided to come back with him.
Once at his apartment we hung out for a bit, talked, he gave me the "grand tour" of his one bedroom apartment, which surprisingly ended in the bedroom. We made out for a bit, but I was being unreasonably and uncharacteristically shy. I'm not sure why, I think it has to do with the fact that I go through these crazy 3 week cycles between dates, and I didn't want to get too far in over my head on this one. But I was being much more reserved than I have ever been. He really must think I'm crazy. But I managed to relax a little bit, we made out for a bit. We were just lying there together and then he says to me, "so, you're staying over right?" I didn't know how to respond to this. It wasn't like he was inviting me to stay over. I really had no intention of staying, but it was late by that time, and the trains are not the most reliable, if he wanted me to, I would. So my response was, "I don't care, if you want me to." Which I knew would piss him off because he said to me earlier in the evening that I don't care about anything and that I always say "I don't care." In my defense, the only reason I say "I don't care" isn't to placate the guy, it's because I honestly don't care. So he kind of sighs an exasperated sigh, and I say something about not having my contact stuff with me. To which he replies that he has an extra case that I can use. I take this as a sign that he does in fact want me to stay. Thus, I spent the night. This is the first time I've spent the entire night with a guy since May. I didn't sleep well, and I was very consciously aware the whole time of where I was in relation to where he was. He slept kind of in the middle of the bed, so I had to sleep close to him the entire night, and he kept his arm spread out under me for a good portion of the night, which made me think he must have been uncomfortable like that, so I tried to sleep over his arm, or below where it was resting on the bed. Over all.. it did not make for good sleeping for me. But it was nice.
Look, I even got a souvenir to take home.
So last night was the 3rd date. We met up at the corner of 20th and 6th, near his work since he was working yesterday. We walked down to 3rd avenue, and back around up to Park on 19th where we stopped in for dinner at Duke's (note: same place I went to with the mullet guy). We had dinner, talked, laughed, cheered for the Eagles. It was all very nice, I guess. Maybe I was just tired, or maybe I wasn't finding him as entertaining as I had before, or maybe Duke's isn't a good place for me to date... whatever it was, I wasn't as into him as I had been on the previous date. I found less to talk about, but that's ok. He managed to carry the conversation for the both of us. I'm not saying it was a bad date. It most definitely was not! It was a very good date. And I had a lot of fun, it was just maybe too built up in my head because I was so convinced on how much I liked him. After dinner, he was very tired, and wanted to go home. He invited me to go back to his place, in Astoria (not close!), to hang out and watch some tv. Yeah right. But ok, I decided I'd go, hang out for a bit, and take the train home later that night. I had nothing else to do, why not? So we went back to his apartment... and somewhere on the N train the old feelings kicked back in. Maybe it is Duke's, and I need not to go there anymore on dates - it's good food, but it kills all romantic feelings whatsoever. I was glad that I had decided to come back with him.
Once at his apartment we hung out for a bit, talked, he gave me the "grand tour" of his one bedroom apartment, which surprisingly ended in the bedroom. We made out for a bit, but I was being unreasonably and uncharacteristically shy. I'm not sure why, I think it has to do with the fact that I go through these crazy 3 week cycles between dates, and I didn't want to get too far in over my head on this one. But I was being much more reserved than I have ever been. He really must think I'm crazy. But I managed to relax a little bit, we made out for a bit. We were just lying there together and then he says to me, "so, you're staying over right?" I didn't know how to respond to this. It wasn't like he was inviting me to stay over. I really had no intention of staying, but it was late by that time, and the trains are not the most reliable, if he wanted me to, I would. So my response was, "I don't care, if you want me to." Which I knew would piss him off because he said to me earlier in the evening that I don't care about anything and that I always say "I don't care." In my defense, the only reason I say "I don't care" isn't to placate the guy, it's because I honestly don't care. So he kind of sighs an exasperated sigh, and I say something about not having my contact stuff with me. To which he replies that he has an extra case that I can use. I take this as a sign that he does in fact want me to stay. Thus, I spent the night. This is the first time I've spent the entire night with a guy since May. I didn't sleep well, and I was very consciously aware the whole time of where I was in relation to where he was. He slept kind of in the middle of the bed, so I had to sleep close to him the entire night, and he kept his arm spread out under me for a good portion of the night, which made me think he must have been uncomfortable like that, so I tried to sleep over his arm, or below where it was resting on the bed. Over all.. it did not make for good sleeping for me. But it was nice.
Look, I even got a souvenir to take home.
Pretty, isn't it?
Saturday, October 07, 2006
I Care.
Well. I decided to make one last ditch effort with the 3" guy before continuing on with my dating life. I know, I know. I should cash in my chips while I'm ahead. But I was never good at gambling, and I'm even worse at this whole dating thing. Only when I really like the guy. So, the 3" guy has been giving me the run-around for a solid 3 weeks now since our last date. Ok. We've emailed, and such, and he might be interested in me. But at this point, probably not. It's been way too long without even so much as a phone conversation. I mean there's only so much you can convey through an email. My hunch is he's dating a lot of people right now, maybe like where I was, oh, about 2 months ago... and doesn't NOT like me, but I'm not worth cutting off his dates with the rest of the NYC population.
I understand that. I was there. I dated a lot of guys that were nice enough, that I would've gone out with again, but my dating schedule didn't really allow for seconds. I barely had enough time for the firsts. You lose track of these things.
But... Because I like this guy, I did something really stupid. I signed up to be on his NY Cares volunteer team for NY Cares Day in 3 weeks. In fairness, he invited me to. But I probably should have bowed out of this one gracefully. Yeah, because I REALLY want to go to a much more privileged school than the one I teach at, and help them "clean it up" and make it a "better" place. Please. That's what I do, day in and day out at my job. It's a good cause, and I really believe in what NY Cares does for public schools, and for the city, I just wish they would choose schools that really had a need for it, maybe one more like the school I teach at. But no, I'm going to be getting up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday to fix up a city school. Wait.. did I say city school? I mean I guess technically Staten Island IS part of the city, but it requires me to either drive there, or take the subway into Manhattan, and then take a bus BACK through Brooklyn into Staten Island. And won't I just look like the prettiest picture of desperation this side of the city has seen in a long time.
I understand that. I was there. I dated a lot of guys that were nice enough, that I would've gone out with again, but my dating schedule didn't really allow for seconds. I barely had enough time for the firsts. You lose track of these things.
But... Because I like this guy, I did something really stupid. I signed up to be on his NY Cares volunteer team for NY Cares Day in 3 weeks. In fairness, he invited me to. But I probably should have bowed out of this one gracefully. Yeah, because I REALLY want to go to a much more privileged school than the one I teach at, and help them "clean it up" and make it a "better" place. Please. That's what I do, day in and day out at my job. It's a good cause, and I really believe in what NY Cares does for public schools, and for the city, I just wish they would choose schools that really had a need for it, maybe one more like the school I teach at. But no, I'm going to be getting up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday to fix up a city school. Wait.. did I say city school? I mean I guess technically Staten Island IS part of the city, but it requires me to either drive there, or take the subway into Manhattan, and then take a bus BACK through Brooklyn into Staten Island. And won't I just look like the prettiest picture of desperation this side of the city has seen in a long time.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
All but gone...
The summer is just about all but gone, and the memories of my dates are fading fast. Most of them it takes me a few minutes just to even remember their names. I can recall some details, and some guys are lost completely. There are 2 of my dates who keep blogs that I have found and check on occasion. One was the one who blogged about our date, as I did, and there's not too much going on in his blog. The other blogger I found was the guy who I knew WAY too much about before the date. So, occasionally, I'll pop on over to his blog, see if anything interesting is going on. I noticed though that his profile was down. Not the blog itself, the blog is still accessible - but his name (which wasn't his real name, but the handle he used for his email...). So, anyway, because my curiosity was peaked, I did the same google search that allowed me to find his blog in the first place. Hmm. Interesting. Gone. I can't find his blog by using the same search I used just a month ago.
This leads me to wonder if he found MY blog (remember: I did the same google search using my email handle, and the blog does in fact come up...) saw that I was able to find his blog and thus removed that from being searched. Wow. And to think my little blog may have impacted the blog of another. I feel honored. almost.
There are some dates in the works. Maybe there'll be some new material soon...
This leads me to wonder if he found MY blog (remember: I did the same google search using my email handle, and the blog does in fact come up...) saw that I was able to find his blog and thus removed that from being searched. Wow. And to think my little blog may have impacted the blog of another. I feel honored. almost.
There are some dates in the works. Maybe there'll be some new material soon...
Thursday, September 21, 2006
You're Mean
I was waiting for the train on the way home from school yesterday afternoon, and I was really immersed in my current train-read. All of the sudden, I feel someone grab at my book and try to pull it. Someone wants to mug me and they are taking my book? Clearly my bag would have been a much better grab. So I look up and it's the Subway Stalker. Ahhh.. great. Now he's trying to rob me of my only train pleasure. I look at him, and I'm not sure what to say to him, he looks back at me, and says, "you're mean." I continued to stare at him, again not really sure what is about to unfold, I simply responded, "No, I'm not." and looked back to my book. He repeats it again, "You're mean mean mean. You are mean." I give him a quizzical look, and he says to me that he has to go. I went back to reading my book. And, so I've concluded, he's not much of a stalker so much as a guy who was, at one point in time, really obsessed. And now he's just another guy scorned.
Speaking of scorn... there's not much new with the 3 inch guy that I really like... except that I still really like him. We exchange emails just about every day, but there haven't been any more marathon conversations or talk about a next date, except that it will be "sometime." I don't know how long I should wait this out. I wish I just knew what was going on in his mind, and I could make my decision based on that, and if it was worth waiting for.
Speaking of scorn... there's not much new with the 3 inch guy that I really like... except that I still really like him. We exchange emails just about every day, but there haven't been any more marathon conversations or talk about a next date, except that it will be "sometime." I don't know how long I should wait this out. I wish I just knew what was going on in his mind, and I could make my decision based on that, and if it was worth waiting for.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Out of My Mind.
So I like a boy. And I'm not sure how to deal with it... a few weeks pass between our dates... or I don't hear from him when I think that I should. I know he's busy, and our schedules conflict. But I feel like when I'm with him, he's thinking a lot about me and liking a lot about me, but as soon as I'm out of sight... it's completely gone from his mind. Its strange, and confusing. I haven't actually really liked a guy in a long time, and not knowing how he feels about it is clearly driving me mad.
I wish there were a way that I could find to clear him from my mind. I try focusing on work, grad school... but it creeps up on me like a virus and before I know it I'm infected with thought of him... I want to not like him. It's so much easier not to like a guy. I want him out of my mind. at least until I know for sure.
Oh, right... so about the date...
We went out last night. We met at Central Park, it was a gorgeous night. It really really doesn't get any nicer than last night. We started walking, really without any destination in mind. He wanted to see the boathouse where people play with remote control boats or something... We didn't end up finding it. We did however manage to see some of the beautiful parts of the park. I haven't explored much of Central Park, and it was really enjoyable. We wandered around, and came to a split in the road. He asked me if I wanted to go left or right... I chose left. He crossed around in front of me, as if to go to the right, and then just kissed me, in the middle of the park. I liked it. I had been nervous because we kissed at the end of the last date.. but I didn't really know what to expect from this one... as a second date. So, we continued walking, and talking, and exploring. It was a really nice time. It started to get dark, so we (rather he) decided we should leave the park, because it's not safe after dark. We sat on a park bench by the west side entrance to the park for a while, and kissed, and talked some more. After maybe an hour or so, we decided it was really time to leave the park, so we walked down to Columbus (all the while holding hands and whatnot), and ate a nice Italian restaurant (actually the same place the fish kisser took me to...). Dinner went well, I don't remember what we talked about... but it must have been good, I would have definitely remembered if it was bad. We had to take the same subway downtown, partly, until he had to transfer at 42nd. So, we were waiting for the subway, and I had my back turned to him for some reason, I think I was looking at a movie poster on the wall, and he put his arms around me while we waited. We rode the train for part of the way home, and kissed goodnight, and that was it. It was a great date.
So what's the problem? Besides the fact that I don't like to get excited about a guy, because it only ends up in disappointment... we don't really have the opportunity to see each other very often. I work during the day, he works nights... so the weeknights are out. Our first date was in August, 2nd in September, and now it's looking like if there is a 3rd, it won't be until October since I'm going home the next 2 weekends for the holidays. Talk about taking things slow.
On a good note, I don't mind that he's shorter than me. It didn't bother me at all last night. And just to clarify. He's not 3 inches shorter, just about an inch or less. I just wished he were 3 inches taller so I could wear heels...
I wish there were a way that I could find to clear him from my mind. I try focusing on work, grad school... but it creeps up on me like a virus and before I know it I'm infected with thought of him... I want to not like him. It's so much easier not to like a guy. I want him out of my mind. at least until I know for sure.
Oh, right... so about the date...
We went out last night. We met at Central Park, it was a gorgeous night. It really really doesn't get any nicer than last night. We started walking, really without any destination in mind. He wanted to see the boathouse where people play with remote control boats or something... We didn't end up finding it. We did however manage to see some of the beautiful parts of the park. I haven't explored much of Central Park, and it was really enjoyable. We wandered around, and came to a split in the road. He asked me if I wanted to go left or right... I chose left. He crossed around in front of me, as if to go to the right, and then just kissed me, in the middle of the park. I liked it. I had been nervous because we kissed at the end of the last date.. but I didn't really know what to expect from this one... as a second date. So, we continued walking, and talking, and exploring. It was a really nice time. It started to get dark, so we (rather he) decided we should leave the park, because it's not safe after dark. We sat on a park bench by the west side entrance to the park for a while, and kissed, and talked some more. After maybe an hour or so, we decided it was really time to leave the park, so we walked down to Columbus (all the while holding hands and whatnot), and ate a nice Italian restaurant (actually the same place the fish kisser took me to...). Dinner went well, I don't remember what we talked about... but it must have been good, I would have definitely remembered if it was bad. We had to take the same subway downtown, partly, until he had to transfer at 42nd. So, we were waiting for the subway, and I had my back turned to him for some reason, I think I was looking at a movie poster on the wall, and he put his arms around me while we waited. We rode the train for part of the way home, and kissed goodnight, and that was it. It was a great date.
So what's the problem? Besides the fact that I don't like to get excited about a guy, because it only ends up in disappointment... we don't really have the opportunity to see each other very often. I work during the day, he works nights... so the weeknights are out. Our first date was in August, 2nd in September, and now it's looking like if there is a 3rd, it won't be until October since I'm going home the next 2 weekends for the holidays. Talk about taking things slow.
On a good note, I don't mind that he's shorter than me. It didn't bother me at all last night. And just to clarify. He's not 3 inches shorter, just about an inch or less. I just wished he were 3 inches taller so I could wear heels...
Thursday, September 07, 2006
The Return
Well. It was bound to happen, I guess. I was fooling myself if I really thought I would go all year without seeing the Subway Stalker. So, this morning he ended up on the same train, same car, same entrance to where I was sitting. What are the odds? I was (thankfully) sitting with one of my co-teachers, and talking to her. He walked into the car, and I noticed someone standing near to me, so I looked up, and made eye contact with the subway stalker. I think for a second I was like literally in shock, kind of made a face. He sat down next to me. All I could think of was, I hope this guy doesn't talk to me.. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. So thankfully, I was able to turn right back to my co-teacher and actually ignored the fact that he was sitting directly next to me. He very quickly after that got up and changed seats. Well that was easy! I felt very relieved... but I have a feeling run-ins like this are going to happen all year, and there is not always someone else there for me to talk to... Maybe on those days I'll ride different cars.
Other updates: There is not much new in this area. It's been a SLOW few weeks dating wise, which is fine with me, as I am really consumed with beginning of the year school stuff. A day or so after the date with the 3" guy, I texted him, just to say Hi and thank him for the date. He called me back right after he got the text, and we talked for about half an hour. Shorter than the marathon conversations we had before, but I felt like the conversation was still good. And then he said something weird. He says... "I don't want you to think that I don't want to hang out again, because I do... but I'm really busy for the entire month of September." Um. Ok. I didn't know what to make of that comment. I am also really busy for the entire month, between the beginning of the school year, going home almost every weekend, and the other weekend being spent in birthday celebration, but honestly... I'm sure I could spare some time, or make time. I don't know. It felt sincere, but at the same time, it was a weird thing to say. We've emailed a few times back and forth, but I'm not getting a very "interested" vibe from him. So that's that. The rest are gone, and I can't update anything much about them, since I haven't talked to most.
Other updates: There is not much new in this area. It's been a SLOW few weeks dating wise, which is fine with me, as I am really consumed with beginning of the year school stuff. A day or so after the date with the 3" guy, I texted him, just to say Hi and thank him for the date. He called me back right after he got the text, and we talked for about half an hour. Shorter than the marathon conversations we had before, but I felt like the conversation was still good. And then he said something weird. He says... "I don't want you to think that I don't want to hang out again, because I do... but I'm really busy for the entire month of September." Um. Ok. I didn't know what to make of that comment. I am also really busy for the entire month, between the beginning of the school year, going home almost every weekend, and the other weekend being spent in birthday celebration, but honestly... I'm sure I could spare some time, or make time. I don't know. It felt sincere, but at the same time, it was a weird thing to say. We've emailed a few times back and forth, but I'm not getting a very "interested" vibe from him. So that's that. The rest are gone, and I can't update anything much about them, since I haven't talked to most.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
A Summer's End
The weather the past week has been much less summery, and more autumnal than anything. It helps me with the impending end of my fun summer of dates. Last night was the last date that I will have this summer. It was kind of bittersweet. School starts tomorrow and my dating will have to take the back burner to teaching and grad school, so I apologize in advance for the lack of posts. Maybe I will tell some of my archived dating history sordid stories, once a week or so, to keep the readers engaged.
In hindsight, I dated pretty much all summer - Memorial Day right up through Labor Day (almost). Which is pretty impressive. And what have I come up with? An extensive collection of the craziest men you might meet in this fine city. They weren't all bad dates, in fact some were downright good. But did anything amount from any of them? Nope. I did make some good friends and have expanded my social circle. It was a great experience. I can look back at my summer of serial dating with pride; if/when I do meet someone that I settle down with, I can say that I dated enough to know what I want in a guy, and more importantly what I don't want.
So the last date of the summer... here goes.
I had exchanged emails with this guy prior to meeting him. Obviously, as all internet dates start that way. From these email exchanges I knew that he was a 34 year old librarian living in Brooklyn. Ok, that's a good start, but not nearly enough information for me. So, I did what most people do, I assume, when they meet someone online. I checked to see if he had a myspace page using his email address. Score. He did. From this I found out that he was divorced. Ooooh, juicy. But there was only one other picture on the site that I hadn't already seen, so there was not too much information on that page. From there, I decided to see what else I could find out about this guy... I googled the handle he uses for his personal ad and his email address. Another score! I found his blog. Uh oh. Now if I can find his blog that easily, it's potential that he could find mine just as easily. He is a librarian, I trust he must have some mad librarian skills. True enough, I googled the first part of my email address I use for this blog (and for online dating emails) i3rooklyngirl. Ahhh, yes. My blog does come up when you google that. That's the risk I will have to take. Back to this guy's blog. So, I go back to the very beginning of his blog, and read it from the beginning... So besides learning that he is divorced, now I can read how frequently he posts dating ads on Craigslist, more about his divorce, that he's a champion spelling bee winner, all about his family vacation, and some really personal stuff about him family and his life. Now I just feel awkward thinking that I am actually going to meet this guy and I have to pretend to know very little about him.
So, after a failed attempt to go out last Friday night (I was in Jersey and didn't make it back in time - I had to cancel), we agreed to meet up at a bar in Williamsburg last night. We met a bar (the one where he wins all those spelling bees actually - but wait, I'm not supposed to know that yet...) but he forgot that they have Bingo there on Tuesday nights, so we go to a less crowded, quieter bar a block away. We talk over 2 rounds of beers, and I am surprisingly capable at concealing all the information that I already know about him. The conversation starts easily, and we talk about music. He is well versed in Sinatra and singers of that era, I've been listening to a lot of Big Band and Standards lately, probably due to my roommate's wedding, which I tell him. He mentions nothing about having been married previously, and I'm very consciously aware of that. Really aware of it. He talks about going to friends' bachelor parties, I am dying to ask him what his was like. Can't do that. He talks about his cousin, who, from his blog, I have actually seen a picture of... she has the same name as my brother in law, and he mentions how it's weird that his cousin (who is a girl) has a very traditional boy name. It's funny, I thought the same thing when I read that on his blog. But I can't say that, can I? He tells me how he's actually the reigning champion at the local spelling bee, which of course, I already knew. But it was interesting to hear him talk about how he actually became a better speller. Crossword puzzles, I need to start doing them. If it weren't for spell check on this thing, I don't think I'd keep a blog. We also talked a lot about libraries and books. Safe territory, I know very little about the actual work he does, so I can talk and ask questions unguarded about that. After we finished the second round, he goes to the bathroom, and as soon as he comes back, he abruptly announces that he has to leave. It was about an hour and a half on the date. Not a substantial amount of time. But I wasn't disappointed. The conversation was very interesting, but I wish I could have been a bit more relaxed about what I knew about him. Next time, I'll just leave well enough alone.
I've reasoned from all my dates this summer, anything under 3 hours will not amount in a second date. That's just statistically how it has worked out. Now, more than 3 hours does not automatically guarantee a second date, but it greatly increases the odds.
And that, in short, is the conclusion of my summer dating.
Tomorrow I go back to teaching, and with that comes the risk of seeing the subway stalker. I am a little nervous about that, but I'm hoping it won't be a problem.
In hindsight, I dated pretty much all summer - Memorial Day right up through Labor Day (almost). Which is pretty impressive. And what have I come up with? An extensive collection of the craziest men you might meet in this fine city. They weren't all bad dates, in fact some were downright good. But did anything amount from any of them? Nope. I did make some good friends and have expanded my social circle. It was a great experience. I can look back at my summer of serial dating with pride; if/when I do meet someone that I settle down with, I can say that I dated enough to know what I want in a guy, and more importantly what I don't want.
So the last date of the summer... here goes.
I had exchanged emails with this guy prior to meeting him. Obviously, as all internet dates start that way. From these email exchanges I knew that he was a 34 year old librarian living in Brooklyn. Ok, that's a good start, but not nearly enough information for me. So, I did what most people do, I assume, when they meet someone online. I checked to see if he had a myspace page using his email address. Score. He did. From this I found out that he was divorced. Ooooh, juicy. But there was only one other picture on the site that I hadn't already seen, so there was not too much information on that page. From there, I decided to see what else I could find out about this guy... I googled the handle he uses for his personal ad and his email address. Another score! I found his blog. Uh oh. Now if I can find his blog that easily, it's potential that he could find mine just as easily. He is a librarian, I trust he must have some mad librarian skills. True enough, I googled the first part of my email address I use for this blog (and for online dating emails) i3rooklyngirl. Ahhh, yes. My blog does come up when you google that. That's the risk I will have to take. Back to this guy's blog. So, I go back to the very beginning of his blog, and read it from the beginning... So besides learning that he is divorced, now I can read how frequently he posts dating ads on Craigslist, more about his divorce, that he's a champion spelling bee winner, all about his family vacation, and some really personal stuff about him family and his life. Now I just feel awkward thinking that I am actually going to meet this guy and I have to pretend to know very little about him.
So, after a failed attempt to go out last Friday night (I was in Jersey and didn't make it back in time - I had to cancel), we agreed to meet up at a bar in Williamsburg last night. We met a bar (the one where he wins all those spelling bees actually - but wait, I'm not supposed to know that yet...) but he forgot that they have Bingo there on Tuesday nights, so we go to a less crowded, quieter bar a block away. We talk over 2 rounds of beers, and I am surprisingly capable at concealing all the information that I already know about him. The conversation starts easily, and we talk about music. He is well versed in Sinatra and singers of that era, I've been listening to a lot of Big Band and Standards lately, probably due to my roommate's wedding, which I tell him. He mentions nothing about having been married previously, and I'm very consciously aware of that. Really aware of it. He talks about going to friends' bachelor parties, I am dying to ask him what his was like. Can't do that. He talks about his cousin, who, from his blog, I have actually seen a picture of... she has the same name as my brother in law, and he mentions how it's weird that his cousin (who is a girl) has a very traditional boy name. It's funny, I thought the same thing when I read that on his blog. But I can't say that, can I? He tells me how he's actually the reigning champion at the local spelling bee, which of course, I already knew. But it was interesting to hear him talk about how he actually became a better speller. Crossword puzzles, I need to start doing them. If it weren't for spell check on this thing, I don't think I'd keep a blog. We also talked a lot about libraries and books. Safe territory, I know very little about the actual work he does, so I can talk and ask questions unguarded about that. After we finished the second round, he goes to the bathroom, and as soon as he comes back, he abruptly announces that he has to leave. It was about an hour and a half on the date. Not a substantial amount of time. But I wasn't disappointed. The conversation was very interesting, but I wish I could have been a bit more relaxed about what I knew about him. Next time, I'll just leave well enough alone.
I've reasoned from all my dates this summer, anything under 3 hours will not amount in a second date. That's just statistically how it has worked out. Now, more than 3 hours does not automatically guarantee a second date, but it greatly increases the odds.
And that, in short, is the conclusion of my summer dating.
Tomorrow I go back to teaching, and with that comes the risk of seeing the subway stalker. I am a little nervous about that, but I'm hoping it won't be a problem.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
3 inches
I am finding it hard to write this post. Maybe it's because I am scared of jinxing a good thing (yes, that's very superstitious of me) ... or maybe good dates are just not all that interesting to write (and therefore read) about. I should be glad that the tone of my dates has been getting better towards the end of this long dating summer. Because the whole point of dating in the first place is not so you have good stories to tell your friends, although that is what my summer was really like.
Anyway, my date last night was good. I'd even go so far to say it was great... but then I'd really be pushing my luck there. I've managed to overcome my issues with dating guys that are a wee bit younger than me, but that's not my problem with this one. He's 2 years older. My problem here is that he's shorter than me. Everyone I've talked to has had the first reaction of "ssss" (that's the best phonetic spelling I can do of someone sucking in their breath, like when they've heard some really bad news) followed by.. well if you like everything else about him, it's not a big deal. No. It's not a big deal. I know that. But if it weren't such a big deal, why is everyone's first reaction one of disappointment? If this guy were about 3 inches taller, I would be completely smitten, no doubt in my mind. Why should a little thing (and 3 inches is a little thing...) bother me so much?
It was really gross weather yesterday, rainy and cold and really not August New York weather at all and then later turned into muggy humid sticky weather - which is more seasonal. I hated even thinking about having to dress up and drag myself into the city for a date. All I wanted to do was watch tv and nap (I was up late the night before at my (ex) roommates wedding and was frankly a little wiped out). But I had been really looking forward to this date. We had 2 phone conversations before the date that were longer than most phone conversations I ever have, even with friends. Because frankly after 3 hours on the phone, I run out of things to say (shocking, but yes, there are times where even I am at a loss.) So after 2 marathon phone conversations, I kind of thought... well what would we have to talk about in person? We met outside the Spring St. subway station in Soho (how's that for unintentional alliteration?) and he took me to a really lovely French (style?) restaurant. We both were trying to decide between the same two entrees, so we ordered both and decided to share. People who share well are automatically good people in my book. He also went on an ordering frenzy and got us a fabulous appetizer (I usually don't talk about food here in the dates, but the food was really spectacular) of warm goat cheese wrapped in pastry over a mixed green salad and then he ordered soup as well. The amount of food we consumed between the appetizers, soup, and entrees was astounding, but the food was amazing. Even better than the food was the conversation we had on the date. We didn't lull at all, and I didn't really think of it as being on a date. I felt like we interacted like a couple that had known each other for years and were very comfortable with one another. We talked more over coffee, and finally decided to walk around SoHo since the rain had stopped. We wandered around for a bit and then decided to stop in at a bar for some drinks. We had some beers, talked some more, laughed a lot. I'm not sure where the conversation came from, but neither of us seemed to be at a loss for words the entire night.
It was getting late, and he had to get home to get to sleep, so he walked me to the train, where we kind of stood there, neither of us really knowing how to end the night. There was the typical, I had a really good time - we should do this again - talk. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, but to be honest it ended up on my neck actually. When he went to give me a hug he stood up on his tippy toes... now I'm taller than him, but by less than an inch, there was no need for tippy toe action. I teased him about that, and so he gave me another hug with no tippy toes this time. We kissed a bit, and then I got on the train to go home. I had that smiling to myself feeling the entire ride home, which is a sure sign of a good date.
If I don't hear from him again, I'd be very surprised and disappointed... but then again, maybe I should hold out for someone 3 inches taller?
Anyway, my date last night was good. I'd even go so far to say it was great... but then I'd really be pushing my luck there. I've managed to overcome my issues with dating guys that are a wee bit younger than me, but that's not my problem with this one. He's 2 years older. My problem here is that he's shorter than me. Everyone I've talked to has had the first reaction of "ssss" (that's the best phonetic spelling I can do of someone sucking in their breath, like when they've heard some really bad news) followed by.. well if you like everything else about him, it's not a big deal. No. It's not a big deal. I know that. But if it weren't such a big deal, why is everyone's first reaction one of disappointment? If this guy were about 3 inches taller, I would be completely smitten, no doubt in my mind. Why should a little thing (and 3 inches is a little thing...) bother me so much?
It was really gross weather yesterday, rainy and cold and really not August New York weather at all and then later turned into muggy humid sticky weather - which is more seasonal. I hated even thinking about having to dress up and drag myself into the city for a date. All I wanted to do was watch tv and nap (I was up late the night before at my (ex) roommates wedding and was frankly a little wiped out). But I had been really looking forward to this date. We had 2 phone conversations before the date that were longer than most phone conversations I ever have, even with friends. Because frankly after 3 hours on the phone, I run out of things to say (shocking, but yes, there are times where even I am at a loss.) So after 2 marathon phone conversations, I kind of thought... well what would we have to talk about in person? We met outside the Spring St. subway station in Soho (how's that for unintentional alliteration?) and he took me to a really lovely French (style?) restaurant. We both were trying to decide between the same two entrees, so we ordered both and decided to share. People who share well are automatically good people in my book. He also went on an ordering frenzy and got us a fabulous appetizer (I usually don't talk about food here in the dates, but the food was really spectacular) of warm goat cheese wrapped in pastry over a mixed green salad and then he ordered soup as well. The amount of food we consumed between the appetizers, soup, and entrees was astounding, but the food was amazing. Even better than the food was the conversation we had on the date. We didn't lull at all, and I didn't really think of it as being on a date. I felt like we interacted like a couple that had known each other for years and were very comfortable with one another. We talked more over coffee, and finally decided to walk around SoHo since the rain had stopped. We wandered around for a bit and then decided to stop in at a bar for some drinks. We had some beers, talked some more, laughed a lot. I'm not sure where the conversation came from, but neither of us seemed to be at a loss for words the entire night.
It was getting late, and he had to get home to get to sleep, so he walked me to the train, where we kind of stood there, neither of us really knowing how to end the night. There was the typical, I had a really good time - we should do this again - talk. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, but to be honest it ended up on my neck actually. When he went to give me a hug he stood up on his tippy toes... now I'm taller than him, but by less than an inch, there was no need for tippy toe action. I teased him about that, and so he gave me another hug with no tippy toes this time. We kissed a bit, and then I got on the train to go home. I had that smiling to myself feeling the entire ride home, which is a sure sign of a good date.
If I don't hear from him again, I'd be very surprised and disappointed... but then again, maybe I should hold out for someone 3 inches taller?
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
The Origin of Umbrellas
Tonight was a good date. I was really not looking forward to this date, and came actually very close to canceling it last minute because of recent events with friends that were taking precedence. I am very glad that I didn't. From his pictures my friends warned me that this guy was going to be too nerdy, a boring conversationalist, but nice. It's a good thing I don't judge people to harshly by what they put down on paper. My friends would have been sorely disappointed. He was cuter (and much less geekier) than his pictures, and one of the most interesting conversationalists I have been on a date with yet. I wasn't disappointed for even a split second.
We met at Fraunces Tavern for a drink before heading over to Water Street to see a 1940s Film Noir on a rooftop overlooking the water. It was a gorgeous night. I show up (on time!) and after we hug hello, the first thing he says to me is "Do you know the origin of umbrellas?" I had to pause to try to figure out if he was asking me if I knew where umbrellas originated or if I knew the etymology of the word. (neither of which would I have known the answer) He clearly saw my utter confusion to what he was asking me, and clarified that he was talking about the origin of the word, and was thinking about it because of all the people in Manhattan who use umbrellas to shade the sun and was wondering if umbrellas were originally meant as a sun shade. I looked it up when I got home. They most certainly were.
From this introductory conversation starter I conclude that my date is not just intelligent, he's the type of really incredibly smart that makes me feel like any sentence I form over the course of the entire date is comparable to that of a kindergartener. I immediately become self conscious and have a hard time forming coherent thoughts. I relaxed a little bit after the beer. We talked about his PhD dissertation, and the joys of being off for the summer (he's on the faculty for a brand new writing program at a small city university). After drinks we walked over to Water St. to the rooftop for the movie. It was still early, so we stood up on the walkway overlooking the water and talked some more. I was still nervous about everything coming out of my mouth sounding all wrong, but I was able to contribute more intelligently at this point. When the rooftop started crowded up, we settled in a nice spot on the fake grass (they even had fake dirt too) and chatted until the movie started.
The movie was good, the night was beautiful... I was just so happy to have a good time in enjoyable company. We walked over to the subway, where I told him bits and pieces about the subway stalker (he asked if I felt safe taking the train to bed-stuy...), and then he told me a crazy story which is one of those stories that is way too nuts to be anything but true.
For your reading pleasure I will transcribe his telling of his craziest subway experience:
Guy: So, I was waiting for the train and this homeless guy comes onto the platform holding a kitchen knife. Like a steak knife. He was holding it straight out in front of him so anyone who got in front of him would clearly have been knifed.
Me: No way.
G: No, really. So I run up to the payphone and call the cops and let them know. But it just so happens that the train pulled up and a cop got off at that station, right where the guy was. So, the cop tries to get the guy to give up his knife, but this guy was clearly crazy, and he was not giving up his knife. So the cop shoots him... in the balls.
Me: NO! Oh my god!
G: (Laughing) Yeah, and after he was shot, he ran onto the tracks and into the subway tunnel. I think he was on speed or something.
(clearly this is poorly transcribed as I'm writing the conversation out about 3 hours after it happened, but you get the point.)
At this point my train pulls up, and there is a very slightly awkward goodbye, and I thank him for a great evening, get on the train, and go home.
My favorite date hands down, activity wise. He's a really nice guy, and I'll definitely put the effort into trying to see him again.
Tomorrow is my last day of my Jdate subscription... but don't worry, the dates don't end there. I have alternative means, and I plan to continue, I just need a break.
We met at Fraunces Tavern for a drink before heading over to Water Street to see a 1940s Film Noir on a rooftop overlooking the water. It was a gorgeous night. I show up (on time!) and after we hug hello, the first thing he says to me is "Do you know the origin of umbrellas?" I had to pause to try to figure out if he was asking me if I knew where umbrellas originated or if I knew the etymology of the word. (neither of which would I have known the answer) He clearly saw my utter confusion to what he was asking me, and clarified that he was talking about the origin of the word, and was thinking about it because of all the people in Manhattan who use umbrellas to shade the sun and was wondering if umbrellas were originally meant as a sun shade. I looked it up when I got home. They most certainly were.
From this introductory conversation starter I conclude that my date is not just intelligent, he's the type of really incredibly smart that makes me feel like any sentence I form over the course of the entire date is comparable to that of a kindergartener. I immediately become self conscious and have a hard time forming coherent thoughts. I relaxed a little bit after the beer. We talked about his PhD dissertation, and the joys of being off for the summer (he's on the faculty for a brand new writing program at a small city university). After drinks we walked over to Water St. to the rooftop for the movie. It was still early, so we stood up on the walkway overlooking the water and talked some more. I was still nervous about everything coming out of my mouth sounding all wrong, but I was able to contribute more intelligently at this point. When the rooftop started crowded up, we settled in a nice spot on the fake grass (they even had fake dirt too) and chatted until the movie started.
The movie was good, the night was beautiful... I was just so happy to have a good time in enjoyable company. We walked over to the subway, where I told him bits and pieces about the subway stalker (he asked if I felt safe taking the train to bed-stuy...), and then he told me a crazy story which is one of those stories that is way too nuts to be anything but true.
For your reading pleasure I will transcribe his telling of his craziest subway experience:
Guy: So, I was waiting for the train and this homeless guy comes onto the platform holding a kitchen knife. Like a steak knife. He was holding it straight out in front of him so anyone who got in front of him would clearly have been knifed.
Me: No way.
G: No, really. So I run up to the payphone and call the cops and let them know. But it just so happens that the train pulled up and a cop got off at that station, right where the guy was. So, the cop tries to get the guy to give up his knife, but this guy was clearly crazy, and he was not giving up his knife. So the cop shoots him... in the balls.
Me: NO! Oh my god!
G: (Laughing) Yeah, and after he was shot, he ran onto the tracks and into the subway tunnel. I think he was on speed or something.
(clearly this is poorly transcribed as I'm writing the conversation out about 3 hours after it happened, but you get the point.)
At this point my train pulls up, and there is a very slightly awkward goodbye, and I thank him for a great evening, get on the train, and go home.
My favorite date hands down, activity wise. He's a really nice guy, and I'll definitely put the effort into trying to see him again.
Tomorrow is my last day of my Jdate subscription... but don't worry, the dates don't end there. I have alternative means, and I plan to continue, I just need a break.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Because
This date started in disaster. It was a Sunday Brunch date, which I don't usually do. Because Sunday Brunch is best spent with a group of friends, or recovering from Saturday night... it's not really a great date time. And not to mention, I didn't get in from last night's date until after 4 am. So I was pretty tired this morning when I had to get up for my 1pm date. I am not a morning person at all, and would much rather spend my Sunday morning lazing around the apartment, reading the paper, gossiping with my roommate over bagels and coffee... but no, I had to get all dressed up for brunch. I was running a little late as is my nature, and in the rush, forgot my cell phone.
I didn't realize this until I was halfway to the subway, and did not think I needed to turn around to get it. I mean, I got along quite fine before cell phones, it would be nice to spend an afternoon not tethered to technology chain. That was the first step leading to the disaster.
I get to the subway stop, and we're meeting for Dim Sum in Chinatown. Fun! I have never had Dim Sum in the city before and I am really excited about it. The place we are meeting at is PACKED. and I mean it is wall to wall people. How am I supposed to find someone in here? I manage to search through the sea of people - turns out, finding a 30 something white jewish man in this crowd, shouldn't be too hard. But I don't see him. I check my watch. I was 10 minutes late for the date, which means if he was there, he'd have to have been pretty impatient to have left already. Maybe he's running late... it's not like I can call him on my cell to check... So I wait around. Time ticks on. 1:20, 1:30... by 1:45 I decide I need to call him. I don't have his number with me, which means enlisting my friends to help me out on this one. My first step in this mission is to find a working payphone, get a phone card, and try to remember my friends cell phone numbers by heart. I have 3 phone numbers (that would have been actually useful at this point in time) stored in my head. 2 of my best friends and my parents. Please God, do not let me have to call my parents, to have them log into my jdate account to read my email to get this guy's phone number. Thankfully I got in touch with a friend, and after an infuriating encounter with bad connections and phone cards that suck up money faster than you would think (for about 5 minutes of conversation I went through an entire 60 minute phone card!) I got this guy's number. At this point it is 2pm. A full hour after the date should have started. I call my date, and he answers. He's at Port Authority. Apparently he had some trouble with a bus, or something... and he's on his way downtown, I should meet him in 20-25 mins.
After an hour and a half of waiting around, he gets there and we have some dim sum. At that point I was exhausted from having run around trying to get in touch with this guy, and from a lack of sleep the night before combined with having no coffee at that point. As soon as we sat down, I knew I was going to have to fight to stay awake. The conversation was fine. He went to the same college that I went to my freshman year, so we had a lot to talk about in that regard. However, he was the type of person who tried to "one up" everything you said. And he clearly believed himself to be always right. After the meal, we took a walk around Chinatown and got some ice cream at the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory. Quite possibly my favorite part of the date. We walked around some more, and sat in a park in Chinatown. We talked for quite a while. He is starting his first year of teaching in the fall, so we had that to talk about as well. However, he said something about when he was student teaching, there was this girl, a student of his (I think he referred to her as a snotty bitch - people who hold grudges against their students are not cool in my book. I have called my students names after a particularly bad day, or said they they act bitchy, but 2 months out of it, I can look back on each of them with no resentment) used to start sentences with "because" and he always took points off for it and she would complain. She was an honor student and I think he thought she was grade grubbing, but in actuality, the girl is correct. There is nothing wrong with starting a sentence with the word "because" so long as it is a complete sentence, usually a complex one. (e.g. Because I forgot my cell phone, I was not able to contact my date. - sounds a little formal, but completely grammatically correct). I actually use this method to teach Cause and Effect to my 5th graders and I tell him this in my most condescending, superior tone. Anyway, this guy continues to argue with me about how it's not correct and he's not going to accept it. It makes me mad that people like him are allowed to teach.
So after this debate (my second grammatical conversation in 2 days.) I was done. The date had gone on long enough, and I was ready to go home. The goodbye was awkward, and I could tell he wanted to kiss me, and there was no way that was happening. I hugged him goodbye and I thought he was going to kiss me on the cheek, but he moved in for the kill and got me on the lips. I must have pulled back so fast, it was no more than a peck. This guy was trying way too hard. So, then he says "If you're every in Jersey, we should hang out." (He lives in North Jersey) to which I reply, "Um, I'm often in Jersey, but never in North Jerz." Him:"Oh, well then we can go to AC together and get a room!" Me: (Horrified by this thought) ... silence... silence... Him: Or maybe not.
I wished him a safe trip home, and walked away. Because this date went so bad from the beginning, there is no chance for this guy.
I didn't realize this until I was halfway to the subway, and did not think I needed to turn around to get it. I mean, I got along quite fine before cell phones, it would be nice to spend an afternoon not tethered to technology chain. That was the first step leading to the disaster.
I get to the subway stop, and we're meeting for Dim Sum in Chinatown. Fun! I have never had Dim Sum in the city before and I am really excited about it. The place we are meeting at is PACKED. and I mean it is wall to wall people. How am I supposed to find someone in here? I manage to search through the sea of people - turns out, finding a 30 something white jewish man in this crowd, shouldn't be too hard. But I don't see him. I check my watch. I was 10 minutes late for the date, which means if he was there, he'd have to have been pretty impatient to have left already. Maybe he's running late... it's not like I can call him on my cell to check... So I wait around. Time ticks on. 1:20, 1:30... by 1:45 I decide I need to call him. I don't have his number with me, which means enlisting my friends to help me out on this one. My first step in this mission is to find a working payphone, get a phone card, and try to remember my friends cell phone numbers by heart. I have 3 phone numbers (that would have been actually useful at this point in time) stored in my head. 2 of my best friends and my parents. Please God, do not let me have to call my parents, to have them log into my jdate account to read my email to get this guy's phone number. Thankfully I got in touch with a friend, and after an infuriating encounter with bad connections and phone cards that suck up money faster than you would think (for about 5 minutes of conversation I went through an entire 60 minute phone card!) I got this guy's number. At this point it is 2pm. A full hour after the date should have started. I call my date, and he answers. He's at Port Authority. Apparently he had some trouble with a bus, or something... and he's on his way downtown, I should meet him in 20-25 mins.
After an hour and a half of waiting around, he gets there and we have some dim sum. At that point I was exhausted from having run around trying to get in touch with this guy, and from a lack of sleep the night before combined with having no coffee at that point. As soon as we sat down, I knew I was going to have to fight to stay awake. The conversation was fine. He went to the same college that I went to my freshman year, so we had a lot to talk about in that regard. However, he was the type of person who tried to "one up" everything you said. And he clearly believed himself to be always right. After the meal, we took a walk around Chinatown and got some ice cream at the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory. Quite possibly my favorite part of the date. We walked around some more, and sat in a park in Chinatown. We talked for quite a while. He is starting his first year of teaching in the fall, so we had that to talk about as well. However, he said something about when he was student teaching, there was this girl, a student of his (I think he referred to her as a snotty bitch - people who hold grudges against their students are not cool in my book. I have called my students names after a particularly bad day, or said they they act bitchy, but 2 months out of it, I can look back on each of them with no resentment) used to start sentences with "because" and he always took points off for it and she would complain. She was an honor student and I think he thought she was grade grubbing, but in actuality, the girl is correct. There is nothing wrong with starting a sentence with the word "because" so long as it is a complete sentence, usually a complex one. (e.g. Because I forgot my cell phone, I was not able to contact my date. - sounds a little formal, but completely grammatically correct). I actually use this method to teach Cause and Effect to my 5th graders and I tell him this in my most condescending, superior tone. Anyway, this guy continues to argue with me about how it's not correct and he's not going to accept it. It makes me mad that people like him are allowed to teach.
So after this debate (my second grammatical conversation in 2 days.) I was done. The date had gone on long enough, and I was ready to go home. The goodbye was awkward, and I could tell he wanted to kiss me, and there was no way that was happening. I hugged him goodbye and I thought he was going to kiss me on the cheek, but he moved in for the kill and got me on the lips. I must have pulled back so fast, it was no more than a peck. This guy was trying way too hard. So, then he says "If you're every in Jersey, we should hang out." (He lives in North Jersey) to which I reply, "Um, I'm often in Jersey, but never in North Jerz." Him:"Oh, well then we can go to AC together and get a room!" Me: (Horrified by this thought) ... silence... silence... Him: Or maybe not.
I wished him a safe trip home, and walked away. Because this date went so bad from the beginning, there is no chance for this guy.
First is the Worst, Second is the Best...
I took a vacation from dating for a week. Well, 5 days off is kind of like a vacation. Last night, I ended up seeing one of the guys I went out with during my week of a million dates again. This was date #2 of the double header that week (The Albino at the Beer Garden). We decided since last night was a much more enjoyable evening to spend at the Beer Garden, we should give it another shot. So I headed over to Astoria again for a fun night. The more time I spend with the Albino, the more I like him. I think I convinced myself that he was too good looking for me, and not to even bother getting my hopes up on that one, and in turn did not fully enjoy our first date as much as I could have. Although, of all my dates that week, it was by far the most enjoyable. So, I drove to Astoria instead of testing my patience with the trains this weekend. This turned out to be a smart move, no traffic, less than half the travel time, and a fool proof way to ensure I would not get drunk on the date.
I drove to his apartment and we had a beer at his place before going to the Beer Garden. This date was exactly like the last date, just in reverse... and I didn't have to sneak out afterwards. We made out at his place before going to the beer garden, and it was even better than the last time. Maybe because I was not drunk, maybe because I wasn't so worried that he was only making out with me because he was drunk... whatever the case, it was better. After a while, we finally managed to get out the door and head over to the beer garden. I like 2nd dates a lot better than first ones for the sole reason of not having to have "first date" talk. We knew all that crap, and we could still have a real conversation. Good Sign! It was fun and flirty conversation, with some real intelligent conversation thrown in every now and then for good measure. We argued about the correct use of the past participle (yes, that's the elementary teacher in me) and tried to take unsuspecting photos of each other on my camera. It was truly an uneventful night that turned out to be a lot of fun. We had only one pitcher this time (instead of the 3 last time) and decided to call it a night (it was well past 2 am at this point and I still had to drive back to Brooklyn). We got into a debate on the walk home over whether the government (and in turn the education system) panders too much to non-english speaking people living in America. This turned into an hour long discussion outside his apartment, and a really nice change of pace. I've been so caught up in date talk, I'd almost forgot what it was like to have a real conversation. It was a good, healthy debate where we both were making very valid and lucid points for being slightly drunk (him - he drank 2/3 of the pitcher) and incredibly tired. I left at 3:30 am feeling as if I had just had one of the best nights I've had in a really long time.
2nd dates are a world of difference compared to first dates. While I've talked to almost all of the guys I've gone out with over the past few weeks a couple times, this is the only one right now that has the sense of potential.
My roommate's advice is to stop going on first dates. I wish I could skip the first date, I am tired of first dating.
I drove to his apartment and we had a beer at his place before going to the Beer Garden. This date was exactly like the last date, just in reverse... and I didn't have to sneak out afterwards. We made out at his place before going to the beer garden, and it was even better than the last time. Maybe because I was not drunk, maybe because I wasn't so worried that he was only making out with me because he was drunk... whatever the case, it was better. After a while, we finally managed to get out the door and head over to the beer garden. I like 2nd dates a lot better than first ones for the sole reason of not having to have "first date" talk. We knew all that crap, and we could still have a real conversation. Good Sign! It was fun and flirty conversation, with some real intelligent conversation thrown in every now and then for good measure. We argued about the correct use of the past participle (yes, that's the elementary teacher in me) and tried to take unsuspecting photos of each other on my camera. It was truly an uneventful night that turned out to be a lot of fun. We had only one pitcher this time (instead of the 3 last time) and decided to call it a night (it was well past 2 am at this point and I still had to drive back to Brooklyn). We got into a debate on the walk home over whether the government (and in turn the education system) panders too much to non-english speaking people living in America. This turned into an hour long discussion outside his apartment, and a really nice change of pace. I've been so caught up in date talk, I'd almost forgot what it was like to have a real conversation. It was a good, healthy debate where we both were making very valid and lucid points for being slightly drunk (him - he drank 2/3 of the pitcher) and incredibly tired. I left at 3:30 am feeling as if I had just had one of the best nights I've had in a really long time.
2nd dates are a world of difference compared to first dates. While I've talked to almost all of the guys I've gone out with over the past few weeks a couple times, this is the only one right now that has the sense of potential.
My roommate's advice is to stop going on first dates. I wish I could skip the first date, I am tired of first dating.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Business in the Front...Party in the Back
The only time I really want my iPod to work, or a good book to be immersed in, is clearly when the batteries are dead, my bag is too small to carry a book, and the F train has just pulled away from the station as I am entering the turnstile. So here I am, sitting in hell (aka 14th St. Station) waiting for the F. I have a notebook and a pen, so I figure I will blog this date on paper while it's still fresh in my mind.
I am bitter right now, and I recognize that. It's hot, I missed the train, and I am WAY too sober to be anything but. Tonight's date was less than par. Not as bad as the first one of the week, and in fairness I'm probably being way too harsh on this guy just because I'm in a bad mood.
I get a text message from my date before I leave my apartment around 5:30, saying he is running a little late and not to rush. Ok. Good, at least this time I'm not the late one. So I figure running a little late means 15 - 20 minutes. I arrive where we were supposed to meet near Union Square around 6:20, exactly 20 minutes after we were supposed to meet. I am actually a little worried that I am going to be later than he is, but no this is not the case. So a little late in my book does not translate in 50 minutes late. No. Friday night I was late for my date, and I felt SO badly about it. This guy shows up not 15 minutes late, but 50 minutes late and doesn't even apologize for keeping me waiting. Nice, huh?
I need at this point to provide you with a mental image of my date. From the front, he's a very attractive guy. Short brown hair (or so it seems), nice body, well dressed... definitely not a disappointment. Now... I'm not sure if this qualifies as a "technical" mullet... but this guy has not cut his hair in 10 years. yes, that's right. The last time scissors came near some of his hair was 1996. Now, I say some because the sides of his hair were kept pretty short, and then the front, like where his receding hairline was starting (yup balding and a mullet, it's hard to pull that combination off) was the long part and that was pulled straight back and sectioned off in rubber bands, all the way down his back. Pulled back it was long enough that he could sit on it, I can only imagine what it looks like down. I'm not a hair-ist... I honestly don't care how much or how little hair a guy has, but he had about a foot of split ends, and I was just dying for a pair of scissors...
Anyway, I haven't let makeup or midgets stop me from dating, why should a mullet? So, we stopped into the tea bar that we met at (he doesn't drink... so no drunken dating tonight), and got some interesting iced tea, and ventured out into the streets of Manhattan. I asked him what he wanted to do... take a walk, sit in Union Square, try to find a restaurant... and he opts for taking a walk. We start walking up Park Ave. It's a really nice night. Comparatively to the nights this month, this by far is one of the coolest, most pleasant nights thus far in August (granted.. it's only the 6th.). We walked up to about 30th St. and decided to find a place to eat. We ended up going to Indian food, which was a good choice, I liked it a lot. I have only had Indian food a few times before, but it was a good choice. He's a little shy and seems a little reserved, and he really doesn't get (or react) to my sense of humor, so there were a few awkward moments. Some weirdness, which I'm not really used to anymore on first dates. I'm pretty good at filling any weird silences with my incessant talking. At one point he was telling me a story about how he had gotten lost in Manhattan thinking he was in Brooklyn, and for good measure I pulled out my NFT to use as a visual aid. Last night, when my sister was visiting, we went to the movies and purchased some swedish fish for the show. I'd say about half the bag had managed to spill out into my purse, which I didn't notice, until I took out my NFT and there was a swedish fish stuck to the cover. Hmm. I wonder how many more are in there... in the end I uncover about 20 swedish fish in my bag, and pile them nicely on the table. My date must have thought I was crazy at this point. Maybe it was because I wasn't drinking, or maybe it was because my date was SO shy and indecisive about everything... or maybe I am just bored out my f*n mind from these dates... but I decided to start making artwork out of swedish fish after dinner. I spelled out my name, and then my date's name, and then a picture of flowers, and some abstract sculpture artwork... it was crazy. I must have really lost my mind. I can't imagine what I would do if my date started playing with candy or food remnants in front of me. I would definitely not have been too keen on that. But at this point I just didn't care.
We left the restaurant and spent a good 15 minutes on the corner of Park, trying to figure out what we were going to do. I was really tired of suggesting things to have him just shrug and say he didn't mind whatever, so I decided we'd just walk towards the park and - worse case - sit there for an hour or so until he had to go. So, as were walking, awkwardly making idle conversation, I glance to my left and there is a beacon of hope. We are on the corner of 19th, and I suggest that we stop by Duke's to get some dessert. I was actually thinking about a drink... but in this case, Duke's has some good desserts, and it will pass the time. So we have dessert and I quiz him on 80's Trivial Pursuit cards that are on the table. Before you know it, it's time to go, my plan worked. We walked to the train, had an incredibly awkward goodbye, and ended my week of serial dating.
He really was a nice guy, and maybe he needs a second chance to see if he warms up when he's not so nervous (and has cut the mullet).
I am bitter right now, and I recognize that. It's hot, I missed the train, and I am WAY too sober to be anything but. Tonight's date was less than par. Not as bad as the first one of the week, and in fairness I'm probably being way too harsh on this guy just because I'm in a bad mood.
I get a text message from my date before I leave my apartment around 5:30, saying he is running a little late and not to rush. Ok. Good, at least this time I'm not the late one. So I figure running a little late means 15 - 20 minutes. I arrive where we were supposed to meet near Union Square around 6:20, exactly 20 minutes after we were supposed to meet. I am actually a little worried that I am going to be later than he is, but no this is not the case. So a little late in my book does not translate in 50 minutes late. No. Friday night I was late for my date, and I felt SO badly about it. This guy shows up not 15 minutes late, but 50 minutes late and doesn't even apologize for keeping me waiting. Nice, huh?
I need at this point to provide you with a mental image of my date. From the front, he's a very attractive guy. Short brown hair (or so it seems), nice body, well dressed... definitely not a disappointment. Now... I'm not sure if this qualifies as a "technical" mullet... but this guy has not cut his hair in 10 years. yes, that's right. The last time scissors came near some of his hair was 1996. Now, I say some because the sides of his hair were kept pretty short, and then the front, like where his receding hairline was starting (yup balding and a mullet, it's hard to pull that combination off) was the long part and that was pulled straight back and sectioned off in rubber bands, all the way down his back. Pulled back it was long enough that he could sit on it, I can only imagine what it looks like down. I'm not a hair-ist... I honestly don't care how much or how little hair a guy has, but he had about a foot of split ends, and I was just dying for a pair of scissors...
Anyway, I haven't let makeup or midgets stop me from dating, why should a mullet? So, we stopped into the tea bar that we met at (he doesn't drink... so no drunken dating tonight), and got some interesting iced tea, and ventured out into the streets of Manhattan. I asked him what he wanted to do... take a walk, sit in Union Square, try to find a restaurant... and he opts for taking a walk. We start walking up Park Ave. It's a really nice night. Comparatively to the nights this month, this by far is one of the coolest, most pleasant nights thus far in August (granted.. it's only the 6th.). We walked up to about 30th St. and decided to find a place to eat. We ended up going to Indian food, which was a good choice, I liked it a lot. I have only had Indian food a few times before, but it was a good choice. He's a little shy and seems a little reserved, and he really doesn't get (or react) to my sense of humor, so there were a few awkward moments. Some weirdness, which I'm not really used to anymore on first dates. I'm pretty good at filling any weird silences with my incessant talking. At one point he was telling me a story about how he had gotten lost in Manhattan thinking he was in Brooklyn, and for good measure I pulled out my NFT to use as a visual aid. Last night, when my sister was visiting, we went to the movies and purchased some swedish fish for the show. I'd say about half the bag had managed to spill out into my purse, which I didn't notice, until I took out my NFT and there was a swedish fish stuck to the cover. Hmm. I wonder how many more are in there... in the end I uncover about 20 swedish fish in my bag, and pile them nicely on the table. My date must have thought I was crazy at this point. Maybe it was because I wasn't drinking, or maybe it was because my date was SO shy and indecisive about everything... or maybe I am just bored out my f*n mind from these dates... but I decided to start making artwork out of swedish fish after dinner. I spelled out my name, and then my date's name, and then a picture of flowers, and some abstract sculpture artwork... it was crazy. I must have really lost my mind. I can't imagine what I would do if my date started playing with candy or food remnants in front of me. I would definitely not have been too keen on that. But at this point I just didn't care.
We left the restaurant and spent a good 15 minutes on the corner of Park, trying to figure out what we were going to do. I was really tired of suggesting things to have him just shrug and say he didn't mind whatever, so I decided we'd just walk towards the park and - worse case - sit there for an hour or so until he had to go. So, as were walking, awkwardly making idle conversation, I glance to my left and there is a beacon of hope. We are on the corner of 19th, and I suggest that we stop by Duke's to get some dessert. I was actually thinking about a drink... but in this case, Duke's has some good desserts, and it will pass the time. So we have dessert and I quiz him on 80's Trivial Pursuit cards that are on the table. Before you know it, it's time to go, my plan worked. We walked to the train, had an incredibly awkward goodbye, and ended my week of serial dating.
He really was a nice guy, and maybe he needs a second chance to see if he warms up when he's not so nervous (and has cut the mullet).
Sunday, August 06, 2006
He Said, She Said (Updated)
The difficulty in writing this blog is knowing that the subject will be reading it. I was going to just can it all together, and write nothing. But since he did, I should as well. So, for once, the readers can see both sides of the date, which may have been more interesting had it been a terrible date or something really substantial had happened to write about... but here you just get 2 accounts of the same story.
Friday night's date started with me running late as usual. I showed up an unthinkable 15 minutes late (really late... even for me), which is a terrible way to start a date. My date was gracious enough to feign indifference to the fact, and thus began the date. We walked over to St. Marks because my date needed a new pair of shades, which was a good way to start the evening. We tried on a few pair each, I managed to find the most ridiculous pairs to try on and he eventually found a pair that he wanted to get. It was a fun way to ease those first few moments of awkward tension that are inevitable on dates like these. We continued on to DBA on 1st Ave, which I hadn't been to in almost a year, and I forgot how much I enjoy that place. 24 beers on tap, endless selections of alcohol... seriously, you can't go wrong here. We had a few beers and talked easily. This may have been the result of having each read each other's blog before going out, but whatever the case may be - it was not your typical first date conversation. A really nice change of pace for me, though. I am SO sick of talking about school and work, and stuff that practically puts me to sleep as soon as I start talking about it... I was glad to have to actually pay attention to my date and the conversation as it was going on. Because I knew that whatever I did or said had the chance of ending up in his blog, I was consistently conscientious of everything that was going on. But maybe less concerned the more I drank.
We continued from there to a Mexican restaurant on 2nd Ave, where we had some margaritas - arguably not the best drinks I've tasted. Dinner was good, but as we were ordering I noticed that the waiter was clearly having a hard time paying attention to our order, and kept watching something on the street. Sure enough, there was a guy passed out on the street. At first I thought he might have been dead. I think the only way I'd ever lay down on the corner of 2nd Ave is if I were very near death. But, alas, he was not. It would have been a first for me on a date, and maybe a really bad omen. But this guy was merely sleeping (passed out) on the corner of the street, but he drew in a lot of attention. Both from the restaurant and from people passing on the street. He layed there for a while until the police and ems came to revive him and apparently just drop him off on another street corner (we passed him walking - if you can call it that, stumbling is more like it - up the street later in the evening). We finished dinner and drinks, my date claiming that he had to finish his drink, because "he's a man, and men finish their drinks." Men also wind up with really terrible hangovers the next day too.
My date then allotted the time walking from dinner to the next location to be the phone portion of the date. He needed to check in with his friends and make some calls, and I made some calls to see if I was going to meet up with a friend later. We went to the next bar and had some good whiskey. His phone rang easily every 5 minutes. I am not ill at ease with people answering their phones on the date, life happens, and he was polite about it. But I did feel like I was taking up time that he was wanting to spend elsewhere. While I was having a good time, and didn't necessarily want the date to end there, part of me wanted to just tell him to go meet up with his friends because they were clearly expecting him somewhere, and the date was infringing on that.
I tried not to pay attention to his conversations, really... I know what kind of questions my friends ask me when I talk to them before and after (and sometimes during) dates. I didn't need to hear his responses to what I could only imagine his friends were asking. After a few conversations with his friends he told me the time frame of our date was now alleviated... I didn't realize we were on a time frame... but ok. That works. The phone calls pretty much subsided after that, and we chatted over whiskey about camping and array of mind altering substances that we had or had not ever tried. Not bad.
We took a walk to pick up a package that he needed to get for a concert the next day. It was a nice night, and after all the drinks I had consumed thus far, the fresh air was a pleasant change of pace. And really, who cares if your date decides he needs to partake in some shady business like picking up unidentified packages from doormen. Really, it just adds to the adventure. We then continued on to yet another bar to top off the evening. At that point, my inhibitions are pretty much shot, and I can chalk up another date fallen into the "drinking and dating" category with the subcategory of "things Erica should not talk about on a date". We left the bar - both intoxicated - and he was probably very late to go meet his friends at that point, kissed a little bit on the street corner, and parted ways.
I managed to get home (with a few run-ins with crazy men on the F train), take a prescription strength Ibuprofen with a large glass of water, and pass out. I woke up feeling not bad at all. I talked to the guy the next morning on IM, and he seemed like he was hurting pretty bad from the night before... I blame it all on the bad tequila he insisted on drinking (and possibly that he drank for 3 more hours than I did.)
Overall, a fun date. Which brings me to my last date of the week... tonight is my 6th date in 7 days... and by now it's really just standard operating procedure.
** on edit, he's right. I have crazy librarian skills. Not that he made it too hard to find his new blog... it's the exact same text. Tricky Tricky. - E. 8/29/06
Friday night's date started with me running late as usual. I showed up an unthinkable 15 minutes late (really late... even for me), which is a terrible way to start a date. My date was gracious enough to feign indifference to the fact, and thus began the date. We walked over to St. Marks because my date needed a new pair of shades, which was a good way to start the evening. We tried on a few pair each, I managed to find the most ridiculous pairs to try on and he eventually found a pair that he wanted to get. It was a fun way to ease those first few moments of awkward tension that are inevitable on dates like these. We continued on to DBA on 1st Ave, which I hadn't been to in almost a year, and I forgot how much I enjoy that place. 24 beers on tap, endless selections of alcohol... seriously, you can't go wrong here. We had a few beers and talked easily. This may have been the result of having each read each other's blog before going out, but whatever the case may be - it was not your typical first date conversation. A really nice change of pace for me, though. I am SO sick of talking about school and work, and stuff that practically puts me to sleep as soon as I start talking about it... I was glad to have to actually pay attention to my date and the conversation as it was going on. Because I knew that whatever I did or said had the chance of ending up in his blog, I was consistently conscientious of everything that was going on. But maybe less concerned the more I drank.
We continued from there to a Mexican restaurant on 2nd Ave, where we had some margaritas - arguably not the best drinks I've tasted. Dinner was good, but as we were ordering I noticed that the waiter was clearly having a hard time paying attention to our order, and kept watching something on the street. Sure enough, there was a guy passed out on the street. At first I thought he might have been dead. I think the only way I'd ever lay down on the corner of 2nd Ave is if I were very near death. But, alas, he was not. It would have been a first for me on a date, and maybe a really bad omen. But this guy was merely sleeping (passed out) on the corner of the street, but he drew in a lot of attention. Both from the restaurant and from people passing on the street. He layed there for a while until the police and ems came to revive him and apparently just drop him off on another street corner (we passed him walking - if you can call it that, stumbling is more like it - up the street later in the evening). We finished dinner and drinks, my date claiming that he had to finish his drink, because "he's a man, and men finish their drinks." Men also wind up with really terrible hangovers the next day too.
My date then allotted the time walking from dinner to the next location to be the phone portion of the date. He needed to check in with his friends and make some calls, and I made some calls to see if I was going to meet up with a friend later. We went to the next bar and had some good whiskey. His phone rang easily every 5 minutes. I am not ill at ease with people answering their phones on the date, life happens, and he was polite about it. But I did feel like I was taking up time that he was wanting to spend elsewhere. While I was having a good time, and didn't necessarily want the date to end there, part of me wanted to just tell him to go meet up with his friends because they were clearly expecting him somewhere, and the date was infringing on that.
I tried not to pay attention to his conversations, really... I know what kind of questions my friends ask me when I talk to them before and after (and sometimes during) dates. I didn't need to hear his responses to what I could only imagine his friends were asking. After a few conversations with his friends he told me the time frame of our date was now alleviated... I didn't realize we were on a time frame... but ok. That works. The phone calls pretty much subsided after that, and we chatted over whiskey about camping and array of mind altering substances that we had or had not ever tried. Not bad.
We took a walk to pick up a package that he needed to get for a concert the next day. It was a nice night, and after all the drinks I had consumed thus far, the fresh air was a pleasant change of pace. And really, who cares if your date decides he needs to partake in some shady business like picking up unidentified packages from doormen. Really, it just adds to the adventure. We then continued on to yet another bar to top off the evening. At that point, my inhibitions are pretty much shot, and I can chalk up another date fallen into the "drinking and dating" category with the subcategory of "things Erica should not talk about on a date". We left the bar - both intoxicated - and he was probably very late to go meet his friends at that point, kissed a little bit on the street corner, and parted ways.
I managed to get home (with a few run-ins with crazy men on the F train), take a prescription strength Ibuprofen with a large glass of water, and pass out. I woke up feeling not bad at all. I talked to the guy the next morning on IM, and he seemed like he was hurting pretty bad from the night before... I blame it all on the bad tequila he insisted on drinking (and possibly that he drank for 3 more hours than I did.)
Overall, a fun date. Which brings me to my last date of the week... tonight is my 6th date in 7 days... and by now it's really just standard operating procedure.
** on edit, he's right. I have crazy librarian skills. Not that he made it too hard to find his new blog... it's the exact same text. Tricky Tricky. - E. 8/29/06
Friday, August 04, 2006
The Square Root of Jdate
So tonight, I received my 100th message on Jdate. Woohoo! In honor, I thought I would come up with the top 10 moments (good and bad) in my j-dating history... If I were really hardcore (and ambitious), and maybe in a year or so, I'll be able to come up with my top 100. But for now, it's just top 10, the square root of my dating experiences. (Yes. I am that big of a geek.)
Some of these have not been mentioned before, they may be available for special re-tellings, should the need arise.
10. My date showing up wearing make-up (and thus the start of the blog)
9. The Pee-er - this story might make a good "rainy day" blog.. it involves my date peeing in front of me, and other sordid events.
8. Bartering my flat tire being changed for a ride to Staten Island (definitely one of my favorite dates thus far - practical and fun.)
7. Fish Kissing.
6. Being mentioned in someone else's blog as "librarian hot" (which I am most definitely NOT!)
5. "Jdate does not stand for Jesus date"
4. Making out with 2 guys in 1 day.
3. Having a guy take me to a "cash only" restaurant, he ordered an appetizer, and a meal (which he didn't finish) and then mentioned that he had no cash on him. Oh, and he stuttered. Badly. (that's pretty much the whole story. but I can retell it in detail... later.)
2. Jury Duty and Self Defense.
1. 6 dates in 7 days. Hey, even God needed a day to rest.
Some of these have not been mentioned before, they may be available for special re-tellings, should the need arise.
10. My date showing up wearing make-up (and thus the start of the blog)
9. The Pee-er - this story might make a good "rainy day" blog.. it involves my date peeing in front of me, and other sordid events.
8. Bartering my flat tire being changed for a ride to Staten Island (definitely one of my favorite dates thus far - practical and fun.)
7. Fish Kissing.
6. Being mentioned in someone else's blog as "librarian hot" (which I am most definitely NOT!)
5. "Jdate does not stand for Jesus date"
4. Making out with 2 guys in 1 day.
3. Having a guy take me to a "cash only" restaurant, he ordered an appetizer, and a meal (which he didn't finish) and then mentioned that he had no cash on him. Oh, and he stuttered. Badly. (that's pretty much the whole story. but I can retell it in detail... later.)
2. Jury Duty and Self Defense.
1. 6 dates in 7 days. Hey, even God needed a day to rest.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Heat Wave
Dating during a heat wave is about as fun as slamming your fingers in a door - repeatedly. Actually, it's really not so bad until you get to the subway, and then it's like an oven. Which means showing up for the date is now about 10x more nerve wracking than it is on a normal occasion. Is my hair now 5 times larger than it was when I left the apartment? Or better yet, is it plastered down with sweat? Is my face glistening? These are the things I worry about now as I walk from the subway to my date's desired bar of choice. And that's the other thing, the dates have become boring themselves. I mean there is not too much to do on a first date to begin with it... but one of my favorite things to do is to meet at a park and take a walk in the city. This weather provides no opportunity for outdoor activities, which is really unfortunate, because in the summer, the city is at it prime for outdoor events. Sunsets at the harbor, walk along the promenade, outdoor concerts and plays, movies, there is so much to do - and no one wants to sit outside and sweat on a date. So, this is how it goes now... meet for a drink at a bar. Have one or two drinks, conversation, maybe if the feeling is right - dinner after.
So last night, I was on my 4th date of the week. I, being so agreeable, trekked up to the UES during rush hour, right before the Yankees game started (read: the train was PACKED). I am not usually in the UES, so I double checked the directions before I left... Somehow I got it into my head that the bar was on 1st and 84th.. or between 84th and 85th. It wasn't... but it wasnt far, so I had to call the guy, tell him I couldn't find the bar, which is so classy. I was 2 blocks south of where I should have been, but it still made me late for the date. Once I arrive and meet my date (who is clearly - and not surprisingly - shorter than he claimed to be), we have a few drinks, talk, laugh. It's fine. It's nothing special. He was nice, we went to dinner after the drinks, but still, there were no sparks. I didn't feel anything for this guy. He walked me to the subway, and that was that.
I am getting really tired of the same date, with just different people. I could have these conversations in my sleep. I go into autopilot sometimes, and just tune the guy out. I can talk about my job, books I've read, my life in general - without thinking about it. Sometimes I snap back into a conversation, and the guy is in mid-story, sometimes related to something I can figure out... sometimes not, and I have to do my best to follow along.
Anyway... what I think I'm coming to is that this serial dating thing is not for me. It's not as fun as it should be. I am not enjoying it as much as I once was. Maybe the defeatist attitude is coming from 3 out of 4 dates this week being less than par. Maybe I'll feel differently once the heat has subsided, and I can enjoy myself on a date without thinking how gross I feel.
Today is a date free day - my only one this week. Tomorrow it's back in the game, renewed and refreshed.
So last night, I was on my 4th date of the week. I, being so agreeable, trekked up to the UES during rush hour, right before the Yankees game started (read: the train was PACKED). I am not usually in the UES, so I double checked the directions before I left... Somehow I got it into my head that the bar was on 1st and 84th.. or between 84th and 85th. It wasn't... but it wasnt far, so I had to call the guy, tell him I couldn't find the bar, which is so classy. I was 2 blocks south of where I should have been, but it still made me late for the date. Once I arrive and meet my date (who is clearly - and not surprisingly - shorter than he claimed to be), we have a few drinks, talk, laugh. It's fine. It's nothing special. He was nice, we went to dinner after the drinks, but still, there were no sparks. I didn't feel anything for this guy. He walked me to the subway, and that was that.
I am getting really tired of the same date, with just different people. I could have these conversations in my sleep. I go into autopilot sometimes, and just tune the guy out. I can talk about my job, books I've read, my life in general - without thinking about it. Sometimes I snap back into a conversation, and the guy is in mid-story, sometimes related to something I can figure out... sometimes not, and I have to do my best to follow along.
Anyway... what I think I'm coming to is that this serial dating thing is not for me. It's not as fun as it should be. I am not enjoying it as much as I once was. Maybe the defeatist attitude is coming from 3 out of 4 dates this week being less than par. Maybe I'll feel differently once the heat has subsided, and I can enjoy myself on a date without thinking how gross I feel.
Today is a date free day - my only one this week. Tomorrow it's back in the game, renewed and refreshed.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Serial Dating
So recently, I've been referred to, by more than one person, as a serial dater (in fairness I referred to myself this way as well). Which I guess when I face the facts, is true. But I'm enjoying (almost) every minute of it. And in the quest for finding the right person to date... you have to date a lot of people. I just dont waste any resources that are available.
Also, apparently my blog has now become a group effort as of late, and today's commentary will be brought to you by my best friend Debbie and the letters A & C (just because it's so damn hot out.)
Debbie: I was very jealous when I read that Kate was able to blog for Erica. So, now it’s my turn!!! As Erica’s best friend, I have been living vicariously through her exciting dating life! I have created a system of Jewish stars by which I can judge her dates (1 Jewish star being an awful date and 5 meaning “Let’s get married!). Monday night’s “Jury Duty Boy” got 1 Jewish star. Actually, I judged that one as soon as she sent me the text message, “HELP!” I attempted to give her the “fake emergency” phone call, but she wanted to stick out the date for an interesting blog (so all you avid blog-readers had better thank Erica for “taking one for the team”).
Erica is now going to describe last night’s 2 dates (YES…TWO! Two in one night! You go girl!), and I’m going to interpret them for you all (anything in parentheses and italics is Debbie’s inner monologues coming out):
Date #1: I met up with my first date around 6:00pm. He was tall, skinny, and totally my type (he wasn’t a red-head, so I don’t think he was TOTALLY her type, but we’ll just ignore that). Anyway, so we went into a bar and each had a beer, and settled into a booth (Booths are always better than chairs b/c you can play footsies and nobody will notice). I talked a lot about school, movies, and anything else I could think of (This is better than “Jury Duty Boy” since she was actually able to talk on this date!). He was responsive, but I had a really hard time hearing him. I felt like I had to ask “What??” after everything he said (ugh.. don’t you hate that?! It’s like talking to foreigners. You don’t want to offend them, so you eventually stop saying “What??” and just smile and nod). I felt bad about that, but the bar, which was relatively empty when we got there, got pretty loud quickly. So, I didn’t feel like there was a great chemistry between us. He was really nice and we talked for about an hour, but after we both finished our beers, it was time to go…and when I say "we" talked... that's really mostly I talked, he responded. So I was able to go home, grab some dinner and prepare for date #2 (who I nicknamed “Albino Boy” from his J-Date picture)...
Date #2: Date 2 started late. It takes me an hour to get to Astoria via the train, and we were meeting at the beer garden (Excuses excuses! Don’t let her fool you – Erica tends to be late a lot)*. So we met up around 9:30pm, got a pitcher of Hoegaarden (HAHA! There’s a beer with that name?! That’s freakin’ great! I’d like to plant me a garden of hoes! “There some hos in da house!”) and sat outside in the sweltering heat. It would have been an awesome date spot, had it not been a billion degrees (You’re telling me! The A.C. in my office broke yesterday and I’m dying here!!! And it’s not getting fixed until Friday! I think Erica’s blog is the only thing that’s keeping me alive!!!). We ended up splitting 3 pitchers, where I ended up having the equivalent of probably 4 beers, and he maybe 6 or 7 (Lush!). Something I need to really learn: it is NOT ok to get drunk on a first date (Lesson learned? I think not! I guarantee there will be a repeat performance of this drinking and dating problem Erica has..haha). So it's hot, and it's late - why it was still a million degrees at midnight is beyond me (Because we live in NY/NJ, where humidity is our middle name in the summer!). So we decide to go back to his place where it’s cooler (Good idea…can I work out of his place?! It’s probably cooler than my damn office…sorry..I digress). K.. and I know - re: Fish Out of Water - what going back to a guy’s place means, and when I've had 4 beers, my inhibitions are lowered slightly. And did I mention before that this guy was good looking...like really cute? (I don’t see the problem here) So, we're walking back to his place and he decides he needs to make out with me on the street...which is ok, it was late and no one was around and we were just kissing (PDA! AHHH! Next thing you know, Erica will be into voyeurism!). Damn I've become a kissing whore lately. Before this week I hadn't kissed a boy since before I left for Peru... and now... I've made out with 3 different boys in less than one week (Definition of stud – ERICA!). Ok…so I went to his place, we made out, and we both ended up falling asleep. I – thankfully! - woke up around 3:30am, and let myself out. I wanted nothing less than to wake up in a strange place with a strange boy, looking all sweaty and gross from the night before (I still don’t see the problem here). So he was still passed out, and I left, and he was none the wiser - and don’t forget I had an hour on the trains to go from there…not to mention that the trains run MUCH slower in the wee hours of the morning (Wouldn’t it be great if she had run into subway stalker here?!)!!! So anyway, I'll describe him: he was cute - tall, blond hair, blue eyes - if I didn't know better I'd say he was German or Scandinavian even (Albino!!!). He could have been a poster child for the Nazi youth movement had he been around at that time (which I think I told him), and he used to work in theater, doing tech stuff (THEATER?! Wait…why didn’t she mention this before?! I LOVE him now! Anyone who has anything to do with theater is good in my books!), so we talked a lot about that. He works in the fashion industry now and does sourcing for clothing companies (Are we sure he’s straight?). We talked about everything: books, our jobs, theater, the city... it seems like we talked for a long time, but I guess it was only about 3 hours before we went back to his place. Total it was from about 9:30 until 2am - when we both fell asleep.
If either one of them wanted to go out again, I would….definitely. But I'm not going to go out of my way to make it happen.
Debbie’s Final Judgement: Date #1 gets 3 Jewish stars (“So-So” rating). He was a good guy, but the date was short, and Erica could barely hear anything he said! It doesn’t seem like there was too much chemistry. I don’t think we’d kick this dude out of bed, but yeah…he doesn’t have the “Debbie Seal of Approval.” Date #2 gets 4 Jewish stars (“Good” rating). He was cute, fun, and spent a nice amount of time with Erica. Judging from Erica’s lack of complete and total excitement and giddiness, I don’t think he’s anything to write home to mom about. So, it sounds like she had 2 decent dates, but love is not in the air as of yet.
*In my own defense about Debbie saying that I am late a lot - Most importantly, I was on time for the date. What I meant when I said it was starting late was meant in terms of the hour of the date... but thanks Deb.
Also, apparently my blog has now become a group effort as of late, and today's commentary will be brought to you by my best friend Debbie and the letters A & C (just because it's so damn hot out.)
Debbie: I was very jealous when I read that Kate was able to blog for Erica. So, now it’s my turn!!! As Erica’s best friend, I have been living vicariously through her exciting dating life! I have created a system of Jewish stars by which I can judge her dates (1 Jewish star being an awful date and 5 meaning “Let’s get married!). Monday night’s “Jury Duty Boy” got 1 Jewish star. Actually, I judged that one as soon as she sent me the text message, “HELP!” I attempted to give her the “fake emergency” phone call, but she wanted to stick out the date for an interesting blog (so all you avid blog-readers had better thank Erica for “taking one for the team”).
Erica is now going to describe last night’s 2 dates (YES…TWO! Two in one night! You go girl!), and I’m going to interpret them for you all (anything in parentheses and italics is Debbie’s inner monologues coming out):
Date #1: I met up with my first date around 6:00pm. He was tall, skinny, and totally my type (he wasn’t a red-head, so I don’t think he was TOTALLY her type, but we’ll just ignore that). Anyway, so we went into a bar and each had a beer, and settled into a booth (Booths are always better than chairs b/c you can play footsies and nobody will notice). I talked a lot about school, movies, and anything else I could think of (This is better than “Jury Duty Boy” since she was actually able to talk on this date!). He was responsive, but I had a really hard time hearing him. I felt like I had to ask “What??” after everything he said (ugh.. don’t you hate that?! It’s like talking to foreigners. You don’t want to offend them, so you eventually stop saying “What??” and just smile and nod). I felt bad about that, but the bar, which was relatively empty when we got there, got pretty loud quickly. So, I didn’t feel like there was a great chemistry between us. He was really nice and we talked for about an hour, but after we both finished our beers, it was time to go…and when I say "we" talked... that's really mostly I talked, he responded. So I was able to go home, grab some dinner and prepare for date #2 (who I nicknamed “Albino Boy” from his J-Date picture)...
Date #2: Date 2 started late. It takes me an hour to get to Astoria via the train, and we were meeting at the beer garden (Excuses excuses! Don’t let her fool you – Erica tends to be late a lot)*. So we met up around 9:30pm, got a pitcher of Hoegaarden (HAHA! There’s a beer with that name?! That’s freakin’ great! I’d like to plant me a garden of hoes! “There some hos in da house!”) and sat outside in the sweltering heat. It would have been an awesome date spot, had it not been a billion degrees (You’re telling me! The A.C. in my office broke yesterday and I’m dying here!!! And it’s not getting fixed until Friday! I think Erica’s blog is the only thing that’s keeping me alive!!!). We ended up splitting 3 pitchers, where I ended up having the equivalent of probably 4 beers, and he maybe 6 or 7 (Lush!). Something I need to really learn: it is NOT ok to get drunk on a first date (Lesson learned? I think not! I guarantee there will be a repeat performance of this drinking and dating problem Erica has..haha). So it's hot, and it's late - why it was still a million degrees at midnight is beyond me (Because we live in NY/NJ, where humidity is our middle name in the summer!). So we decide to go back to his place where it’s cooler (Good idea…can I work out of his place?! It’s probably cooler than my damn office…sorry..I digress). K.. and I know - re: Fish Out of Water - what going back to a guy’s place means, and when I've had 4 beers, my inhibitions are lowered slightly. And did I mention before that this guy was good looking...like really cute? (I don’t see the problem here) So, we're walking back to his place and he decides he needs to make out with me on the street...which is ok, it was late and no one was around and we were just kissing (PDA! AHHH! Next thing you know, Erica will be into voyeurism!). Damn I've become a kissing whore lately. Before this week I hadn't kissed a boy since before I left for Peru... and now... I've made out with 3 different boys in less than one week (Definition of stud – ERICA!). Ok…so I went to his place, we made out, and we both ended up falling asleep. I – thankfully! - woke up around 3:30am, and let myself out. I wanted nothing less than to wake up in a strange place with a strange boy, looking all sweaty and gross from the night before (I still don’t see the problem here). So he was still passed out, and I left, and he was none the wiser - and don’t forget I had an hour on the trains to go from there…not to mention that the trains run MUCH slower in the wee hours of the morning (Wouldn’t it be great if she had run into subway stalker here?!)!!! So anyway, I'll describe him: he was cute - tall, blond hair, blue eyes - if I didn't know better I'd say he was German or Scandinavian even (Albino!!!). He could have been a poster child for the Nazi youth movement had he been around at that time (which I think I told him), and he used to work in theater, doing tech stuff (THEATER?! Wait…why didn’t she mention this before?! I LOVE him now! Anyone who has anything to do with theater is good in my books!), so we talked a lot about that. He works in the fashion industry now and does sourcing for clothing companies (Are we sure he’s straight?). We talked about everything: books, our jobs, theater, the city... it seems like we talked for a long time, but I guess it was only about 3 hours before we went back to his place. Total it was from about 9:30 until 2am - when we both fell asleep.
If either one of them wanted to go out again, I would….definitely. But I'm not going to go out of my way to make it happen.
Debbie’s Final Judgement: Date #1 gets 3 Jewish stars (“So-So” rating). He was a good guy, but the date was short, and Erica could barely hear anything he said! It doesn’t seem like there was too much chemistry. I don’t think we’d kick this dude out of bed, but yeah…he doesn’t have the “Debbie Seal of Approval.” Date #2 gets 4 Jewish stars (“Good” rating). He was cute, fun, and spent a nice amount of time with Erica. Judging from Erica’s lack of complete and total excitement and giddiness, I don’t think he’s anything to write home to mom about. So, it sounds like she had 2 decent dates, but love is not in the air as of yet.
*In my own defense about Debbie saying that I am late a lot - Most importantly, I was on time for the date. What I meant when I said it was starting late was meant in terms of the hour of the date... but thanks Deb.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Guest Blogger
and for a change of pace, my wonderfully fabulous roommate saved me the time of having to retell this one...
Kate here, Erica's roommate—I'm filling in tonight, since Erica seems
a bit wiped out by tonight's date. I thought I'd just transcribe out
conversation for your reading pleasure.
Erica [arriving at the top of the stairs bright red because it's 900
degrees in our building.]: I just got back from the worst date
ever…well, no. But really bad. Really, really bad.
First of all, he was wearing….[laughter]…I shouldn't judge people by
what they wear, but…
Kate: Yes you should.
E. He was wearing an aquamarine polo shirt—the color of your pants
[NB: I am wearing silk VS pants]—tucked in to…are we ready for what
they are tucked into? Can you guess? Can you make a wild stab?
K: Manpris?
E: No no no, think worst style. If you saw a guy wearing these you'd
think "that guy has no style"
K: Tapered jeans?
E: But what color tapered jeans? I tried taking a picture on my
cellphone.
K: Acid wash?
E: No no no, black. Tight black tapered jeans. Wrangler jeans. Where
would they sell wrangler jeans in the city, K-Mart maybe?
And then, large white RUNNING SHOES.
That's what he was wearing. On the date. OHH, belted. His jeans were
belted. But of course they were—it was tucked in. to tapered black
jeans. Pulled up so high on his waist that I think I could see his
entire package.
K: So did you enjoy yourself?
E: Ok, well, looks aside. I thought maybe he'd be a good
conversationalist. We spent the entire walk to the bar, which turned
out to be closed, talking about how jury duty was the most exciting
and fulfilling experience of his life.
K: Will you turn off the toaster oven for me?
E: Jury duty. Yes. And I quote: "It was the highlight of his summer."
He's a teacher, he has the entire summer off—he's not working—the
highlight of his summer was jury duty. I believe he lives with his
parents (in Manhattan). And then he told me a story about how his mom
goes to their country house to cook eggs and then brings them back to
the city. He must have mentioned the country house three or four
times, like I'm going to be impressed that this kid has a country
house.
We went to Lombardi's for dinner….oh god, what was the conversation we
had that I was like, "Holy shit, he did not just say that."
K: It wasn't….jury duty?
E: No, that was only on the way to and from the nonexistent bar.
OH. We're walking down bowery to go to a bar after dinner…
K: Wait, you went to a nonexistent bar and dinner AND THEN to another
bar with him?
E: Yeah, but it was only three hours.
Ok, when you're on a date…how quickly do you walk? Do you powerwalk?
K: Have you met B?
E: We're walking down Bowery and I think I'm going at a pretty decent
pace, and he's like "Can you go any faster?" And then books it down
the street. I didn't realize I was getting my workout on my date
tonight.
He was showing me self defense moves at the bar…
K:…not ok.
E: All he could talk about was himself. And I ask questions and
pretend i'm interested even if all I'm thinking is "how much longer
do I have to sit here before it's socially acceptable to go home?"
Yeah. Pretty much was the worst.
No, I can't say The Worst, I've had so many bad ones.
How can I do this 5 more times this week? I want to cancel them all.
But two of them seem cool.
K: But…why are you going out with…
E: Guys who don't seem cool?
…
Yeah, so that was date number one from my week of a bazillion dates.
Kate here, Erica's roommate—I'm filling in tonight, since Erica seems
a bit wiped out by tonight's date. I thought I'd just transcribe out
conversation for your reading pleasure.
Erica [arriving at the top of the stairs bright red because it's 900
degrees in our building.]: I just got back from the worst date
ever…well, no. But really bad. Really, really bad.
First of all, he was wearing….[laughter]…I shouldn't judge people by
what they wear, but…
Kate: Yes you should.
E. He was wearing an aquamarine polo shirt—the color of your pants
[NB: I am wearing silk VS pants]—tucked in to…are we ready for what
they are tucked into? Can you guess? Can you make a wild stab?
K: Manpris?
E: No no no, think worst style. If you saw a guy wearing these you'd
think "that guy has no style"
K: Tapered jeans?
E: But what color tapered jeans? I tried taking a picture on my
cellphone.
K: Acid wash?
E: No no no, black. Tight black tapered jeans. Wrangler jeans. Where
would they sell wrangler jeans in the city, K-Mart maybe?
And then, large white RUNNING SHOES.
That's what he was wearing. On the date. OHH, belted. His jeans were
belted. But of course they were—it was tucked in. to tapered black
jeans. Pulled up so high on his waist that I think I could see his
entire package.
K: So did you enjoy yourself?
E: Ok, well, looks aside. I thought maybe he'd be a good
conversationalist. We spent the entire walk to the bar, which turned
out to be closed, talking about how jury duty was the most exciting
and fulfilling experience of his life.
K: Will you turn off the toaster oven for me?
E: Jury duty. Yes. And I quote: "It was the highlight of his summer."
He's a teacher, he has the entire summer off—he's not working—the
highlight of his summer was jury duty. I believe he lives with his
parents (in Manhattan). And then he told me a story about how his mom
goes to their country house to cook eggs and then brings them back to
the city. He must have mentioned the country house three or four
times, like I'm going to be impressed that this kid has a country
house.
We went to Lombardi's for dinner….oh god, what was the conversation we
had that I was like, "Holy shit, he did not just say that."
K: It wasn't….jury duty?
E: No, that was only on the way to and from the nonexistent bar.
OH. We're walking down bowery to go to a bar after dinner…
K: Wait, you went to a nonexistent bar and dinner AND THEN to another
bar with him?
E: Yeah, but it was only three hours.
Ok, when you're on a date…how quickly do you walk? Do you powerwalk?
K: Have you met B?
E: We're walking down Bowery and I think I'm going at a pretty decent
pace, and he's like "Can you go any faster?" And then books it down
the street. I didn't realize I was getting my workout on my date
tonight.
He was showing me self defense moves at the bar…
K:…not ok.
E: All he could talk about was himself. And I ask questions and
pretend i'm interested even if all I'm thinking is "how much longer
do I have to sit here before it's socially acceptable to go home?"
Yeah. Pretty much was the worst.
No, I can't say The Worst, I've had so many bad ones.
How can I do this 5 more times this week? I want to cancel them all.
But two of them seem cool.
K: But…why are you going out with…
E: Guys who don't seem cool?
…
Yeah, so that was date number one from my week of a bazillion dates.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Double Header
In my months of dating prior, I have done many things that I hadn't done before. The most recent new occurrence is having 2 dates in 1 day. My time has been crowded lately, which is strange because for the first few weeks I was home from Peru, I did virtually nothing. But my dating schedule is full, so in order to make the best use of my time I planned a double header date for last Thursday. Both of them were Jdate boys, and I was looking forward to both of them, but the second one I was convinced would be the best date I would have on jdate. I somehow convinced myself through IM conversations and emails that I had more in common with this guy than maybe I should have... but I digress...
Date #1 - Number 1 called me an hour before planned and told me that his plans had fallen through for the rest of the afternoon, and could I come and meet him earlier than planned? This was a good sign. I had planned the other date for later that evening, but at an unknown time because I didn't know when date 1 would end. We met at the subway stop and walked to a bar in the Village. We had beers and talked, and I noticed that number 1 was moving closer and closer to me. And then he moved in, and started kissing me at the bar. Apparently, I've become that girl that kisses guys at bars, in public, in broad daylight. But he was a good kisser, and I had 2 beers... I was not all that concerned. After much making out in the bar, and on the street, and in the subway, we ended up back at my apartment, where not much more happened.. because I'm not that type of girl. But it was enough that it needed to be removed from the bar. He had to go help a friend at 10, and I was getting quite desperate for him to leave so I could prepare for date 2. It was thundering and lightning pretty bad, and it was going to start pouring at any moment. I offered to lend him an umbrella, to which he replied, Nah, because then I'd have to give it back to you. Wow. That's honest. I never had a more direct, I don't thin I want to see you again statement on a date. Although after he left, he called about 10 minutes later, after realizing we hadn't eaten any dinner or anything on the date, and wanted to know if I wanted to get dinner. I thought that was really sweet, but after that umbrella comment, I decided against it. Besides, I was in full preparation mode for Date #2.
Date #2 - After a small bug scare and my roommate forcing me to eat a real meal, I was ready for number 2. I was so convinced that this guy was going to be it. We had so much in common, had really good conversations, I should have known... Never get my hopes up... nothing is more disappointing than going into a date with such high expectations. I tried to meet him at the bar on the corner, but he vetoed that... I should have insisted. But I was so certain that he was going to be a good date, I allowed something that I have only done once before - ever, I met him at my apartment. Now, I hope my roommate doesn't read this, she may very well kill me... or just be thankful that she is moving out in a month, because I kind of hinted that it wasn't our first date. I didn't want her to freak out. She would have had every right. It was stupid and really not safe, and though he turned out to be normal, it was a really dumb move on my part. I need more common sense when it comes to dating, and really need to not trust people so freely. Anyway, number 2 came over. He was shorter than I imagined, but on jdate, you have to get used to dating guys on the shorter side. But other than that, so far so good. He came up to my apartment, and his mannerisms and behavior strongly reminded me of this guy I dated last year who was severely depressed and we refer to him as the "crier" (if I have a dating dry spell - I will post the story of the crier.. just for giggles). I do not need another crier in my life, but I couldn't place what it was about this guy that reminded me so severely of the crier. We sat in my living room for a while, talking. Number 2 is an aspiring chef in culinary school, which is definitely part of his initial appeal, and he talked for a while about restaurants he hoped to work in when he came back for his extern in a few weeks. We moved the conversation to the bedroom because I have air conditioning in my bedroom, and it was unbearably hot in the living room, even with both the fans on. Mistake. Guys see bedroom, they think they are going to get laid. Unfortunately for this guy, he didn't know what he was up against. I knew there was no chance that was going to happen. We made out for a bit - which means... yes, I made out with 2 different guys in less than 3 hours. Not proud of it, but hey... He stayed for a while and we talked... but I don't think it's going to work.
So as we're talking, he asks me, Just wondering... how would one get from here to say The Restaurant? (anonymity.. fill in the name of the restaurant he got a job offer for) After I tell him, and ask him why he wants to know.. he responded, well you know, I have the tendency to project a bit. Um. Ok. but he's planning his commute from my apartment for 6 weeks from now? He is still in culinary school and will be away for the next 6 weeks for a class. His externship starts in 6 weeks. Well, that's more than I've gotten on a first date. He mentions that he'll be in the city next weekend for a street fair, and would I want to see him again? He then says, I can stay here. And when I say, um, you mean here as in... my apartment? I am really thinking, there is no way this guy I just met is inviting himself to my apartment for the entire weekend, right... I don't think my last boyfriend ever stayed over for the entire weekend. So I said, well I think it may be a little too soon for that. He was ok with that response, even though he tried to convince me that he'd be really busy and I wouldn't see him much anyway. So.. why would I want him to stay?
He leaves not much later, and I have this weird unsettled feeling that this guy now thinks of himself as my boyfriend. Number 2 IMed me the next day, and we've talked on IM at least once everyday since then. But there has been no mention of seeing him again, or the upcoming weekend. I wonder how I will manage to dodge that one. Number 1 actually called me the next day as well while I was driving home to my parents' house for the weekend. I was surprised to hear from him so soon, I guess I misread the umbrella comment. We talked online once since then as well. He wants to get together this week, but it's not looking good for number 1. He was nice enough, and we had a good time, but I don't know that we'll be able to connect scheduling wise again.
For all you faithful readers out there, be prepared... I have 5 dates coming up this week. 5 dates in 5 days, although one day has another double header planned. However, I am getting tired of the serial dating, and would like to meet one person to date. There are a few good potentials that I'm looking forward to, and some that I know will provide a great story, and maybe one will be both.
Date #1 - Number 1 called me an hour before planned and told me that his plans had fallen through for the rest of the afternoon, and could I come and meet him earlier than planned? This was a good sign. I had planned the other date for later that evening, but at an unknown time because I didn't know when date 1 would end. We met at the subway stop and walked to a bar in the Village. We had beers and talked, and I noticed that number 1 was moving closer and closer to me. And then he moved in, and started kissing me at the bar. Apparently, I've become that girl that kisses guys at bars, in public, in broad daylight. But he was a good kisser, and I had 2 beers... I was not all that concerned. After much making out in the bar, and on the street, and in the subway, we ended up back at my apartment, where not much more happened.. because I'm not that type of girl. But it was enough that it needed to be removed from the bar. He had to go help a friend at 10, and I was getting quite desperate for him to leave so I could prepare for date 2. It was thundering and lightning pretty bad, and it was going to start pouring at any moment. I offered to lend him an umbrella, to which he replied, Nah, because then I'd have to give it back to you. Wow. That's honest. I never had a more direct, I don't thin I want to see you again statement on a date. Although after he left, he called about 10 minutes later, after realizing we hadn't eaten any dinner or anything on the date, and wanted to know if I wanted to get dinner. I thought that was really sweet, but after that umbrella comment, I decided against it. Besides, I was in full preparation mode for Date #2.
Date #2 - After a small bug scare and my roommate forcing me to eat a real meal, I was ready for number 2. I was so convinced that this guy was going to be it. We had so much in common, had really good conversations, I should have known... Never get my hopes up... nothing is more disappointing than going into a date with such high expectations. I tried to meet him at the bar on the corner, but he vetoed that... I should have insisted. But I was so certain that he was going to be a good date, I allowed something that I have only done once before - ever, I met him at my apartment. Now, I hope my roommate doesn't read this, she may very well kill me... or just be thankful that she is moving out in a month, because I kind of hinted that it wasn't our first date. I didn't want her to freak out. She would have had every right. It was stupid and really not safe, and though he turned out to be normal, it was a really dumb move on my part. I need more common sense when it comes to dating, and really need to not trust people so freely. Anyway, number 2 came over. He was shorter than I imagined, but on jdate, you have to get used to dating guys on the shorter side. But other than that, so far so good. He came up to my apartment, and his mannerisms and behavior strongly reminded me of this guy I dated last year who was severely depressed and we refer to him as the "crier" (if I have a dating dry spell - I will post the story of the crier.. just for giggles). I do not need another crier in my life, but I couldn't place what it was about this guy that reminded me so severely of the crier. We sat in my living room for a while, talking. Number 2 is an aspiring chef in culinary school, which is definitely part of his initial appeal, and he talked for a while about restaurants he hoped to work in when he came back for his extern in a few weeks. We moved the conversation to the bedroom because I have air conditioning in my bedroom, and it was unbearably hot in the living room, even with both the fans on. Mistake. Guys see bedroom, they think they are going to get laid. Unfortunately for this guy, he didn't know what he was up against. I knew there was no chance that was going to happen. We made out for a bit - which means... yes, I made out with 2 different guys in less than 3 hours. Not proud of it, but hey... He stayed for a while and we talked... but I don't think it's going to work.
So as we're talking, he asks me, Just wondering... how would one get from here to say The Restaurant? (anonymity.. fill in the name of the restaurant he got a job offer for) After I tell him, and ask him why he wants to know.. he responded, well you know, I have the tendency to project a bit. Um. Ok. but he's planning his commute from my apartment for 6 weeks from now? He is still in culinary school and will be away for the next 6 weeks for a class. His externship starts in 6 weeks. Well, that's more than I've gotten on a first date. He mentions that he'll be in the city next weekend for a street fair, and would I want to see him again? He then says, I can stay here. And when I say, um, you mean here as in... my apartment? I am really thinking, there is no way this guy I just met is inviting himself to my apartment for the entire weekend, right... I don't think my last boyfriend ever stayed over for the entire weekend. So I said, well I think it may be a little too soon for that. He was ok with that response, even though he tried to convince me that he'd be really busy and I wouldn't see him much anyway. So.. why would I want him to stay?
He leaves not much later, and I have this weird unsettled feeling that this guy now thinks of himself as my boyfriend. Number 2 IMed me the next day, and we've talked on IM at least once everyday since then. But there has been no mention of seeing him again, or the upcoming weekend. I wonder how I will manage to dodge that one. Number 1 actually called me the next day as well while I was driving home to my parents' house for the weekend. I was surprised to hear from him so soon, I guess I misread the umbrella comment. We talked online once since then as well. He wants to get together this week, but it's not looking good for number 1. He was nice enough, and we had a good time, but I don't know that we'll be able to connect scheduling wise again.
For all you faithful readers out there, be prepared... I have 5 dates coming up this week. 5 dates in 5 days, although one day has another double header planned. However, I am getting tired of the serial dating, and would like to meet one person to date. There are a few good potentials that I'm looking forward to, and some that I know will provide a great story, and maybe one will be both.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
An hour for lunch...
So my last date was nothing noteworthy. Except that I made quite the ass out of myself. I had been chatting with the jdate guy, and he mentioned that he was leaving the office for lunch, and asked if I wanted to meet up for coffee on his break. So I showered and got dressed and met him over at a coffee shop not too far from where I lived. He ordered my coffee, and I'm looking in my purse for my wallet. My wallet is somewhat large, easy to find in my bag. I'm looking, looking. He doesn't even notice and has already proceeded to pay the cashier... I am relieved about that, and thank him graciously. But all I can think about is "Where is my wallet??" I remember having it last night... and he's talking and talking, and I'm trying to pick up bits and pieces of the conversation so I can seem as if I'm paying attention. This is not good. All I can think about is where my wallet could be... hoping and willing it to be in my apartment.
So we finished coffee, and the jdate guy, god i can't even remember a thing we talked about the entire time, is debating whether or not he really needs to go back to work. I read this as, I want to spend more time with you.. and I'm like.. um, I need to go to my apartment. And basically just start walking back towards my place. He doesn't seemed deterred and comes along. Ok, normally I would be completely creeped out by a guy I don't know following me to my apartment, especially without invitation, but I just needed to get back and look for my wallet.
So, I leave the jdate guy in my living room and proceed to search my bedroom. At first I didn't see it, and I started racking my brain, over and over.. where could it be? Poor guy is sitting on the couch in my living room, and it was hot yesterday, no fans on, nothing. Just sitting there. Finally I found my wallet under my bed, and calmed down a bit. At this point, it's no surprise that the guy decided he really should go back to his office for work... and not continue the date any further. He was nice though, very polite and well mannered, but even if I hadn't lost my wallet, I doubt there would have been anything there anyway. Well at least I found my wallet.
The next week is shaping up to be a whirlwind of dates. I have no idea where they all came from, but there are a lot to come...
So we finished coffee, and the jdate guy, god i can't even remember a thing we talked about the entire time, is debating whether or not he really needs to go back to work. I read this as, I want to spend more time with you.. and I'm like.. um, I need to go to my apartment. And basically just start walking back towards my place. He doesn't seemed deterred and comes along. Ok, normally I would be completely creeped out by a guy I don't know following me to my apartment, especially without invitation, but I just needed to get back and look for my wallet.
So, I leave the jdate guy in my living room and proceed to search my bedroom. At first I didn't see it, and I started racking my brain, over and over.. where could it be? Poor guy is sitting on the couch in my living room, and it was hot yesterday, no fans on, nothing. Just sitting there. Finally I found my wallet under my bed, and calmed down a bit. At this point, it's no surprise that the guy decided he really should go back to his office for work... and not continue the date any further. He was nice though, very polite and well mannered, but even if I hadn't lost my wallet, I doubt there would have been anything there anyway. Well at least I found my wallet.
The next week is shaping up to be a whirlwind of dates. I have no idea where they all came from, but there are a lot to come...
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Using the Phone for Dummies
Since coming home from Peru, I haven't been on any dates. But in preparation of the rest of my summer, I have been busy on jdate. I have been chatting with a couple of guys and giving out my phone number quite a bit lately. Apparently, the phone is a modern marvel to some guys who have yet to figure out the proper etiquette on making a phone call to someone they are interested in dating.
Rule #1 when calling a girl you've never met: Introduce yourself
Ok, this may seem redundant in a world where cell phones display your name/number when the phone call is received. However, it's extremely presumptuous to assume that the girl you are calling has programmed your name and number into her phone. I happen to not program names and numbers into my phone until I am certain that I actually like the person and want to speak to them again. This created a problem when one guy called me, and I have spoken to him on the phone one time before I left for Peru. He must have thought that I had his name and number programmed in, because when I answered the phone, he didn't make any introductions, and just assumed that I should know who I was talking to. We had an entire conversation, he was telling me about the lake he was at with his family, and talking and talking... while I was on the other end trying to narrow down the possibilities of who I was actually talking to. That whole mishap could have been avoided if when I answered the phone, he said, "Hey Girl, It's ____" Not very hard, eh?
Rule #2: Don't call and hang up
The other day I was out at the park, and my phone rang. I saw that it was a number I didn't have programmed into my phone, but I didn't really focus on the number. I just answered the call, and the caller on the other end hung up. Strange, I thought. Maybe it was a bad connection. I checked the phone number. Oh. Dear. Lord. My subway stalker is back. Only now, he's hanging up if I answer the phone. Ahhh, reminds me of my Scott Plasky days of calling and hanging up. Hey, it was seventh grade. Not that I grew out of it that quickly! But today, if I were going to call and hang up on someone, I would definitely make sure I at least blocked my phone number before calling!
Rule #3 Do not release bodily functions into the phone
This one SHOULD be a no brainer. I was on the phone with a guy, who likes to call himself the Man of My Dreams (no really, he has called himself that to me probably about 3 or 4 times so far) and I hear these strange noises. It sounded like a bad connection, or weird rustling noises. Then the "man of my dreams" says, "guess which one was the real one." What? I am so confused. "The real what?" I ask. "The real fart" he replies, "there were 3 but only one was real." Um. Gross. Why are boys this disgusting? And not to mention this guy is 27. At 27, no one should be farting into the phone for entertainment sake. If the conversation was that dull that he needed to resort to childish fart humor, well.. maybe it's not even worth taking to the dating level.
Maybe there is a real market for this, I should write a book... The Guy's Guide to Using the Phone: A step by step guide for semi-retarded males dating on the Internet. I could make a fortune.
Rule #1 when calling a girl you've never met: Introduce yourself
Ok, this may seem redundant in a world where cell phones display your name/number when the phone call is received. However, it's extremely presumptuous to assume that the girl you are calling has programmed your name and number into her phone. I happen to not program names and numbers into my phone until I am certain that I actually like the person and want to speak to them again. This created a problem when one guy called me, and I have spoken to him on the phone one time before I left for Peru. He must have thought that I had his name and number programmed in, because when I answered the phone, he didn't make any introductions, and just assumed that I should know who I was talking to. We had an entire conversation, he was telling me about the lake he was at with his family, and talking and talking... while I was on the other end trying to narrow down the possibilities of who I was actually talking to. That whole mishap could have been avoided if when I answered the phone, he said, "Hey Girl, It's ____" Not very hard, eh?
Rule #2: Don't call and hang up
The other day I was out at the park, and my phone rang. I saw that it was a number I didn't have programmed into my phone, but I didn't really focus on the number. I just answered the call, and the caller on the other end hung up. Strange, I thought. Maybe it was a bad connection. I checked the phone number. Oh. Dear. Lord. My subway stalker is back. Only now, he's hanging up if I answer the phone. Ahhh, reminds me of my Scott Plasky days of calling and hanging up. Hey, it was seventh grade. Not that I grew out of it that quickly! But today, if I were going to call and hang up on someone, I would definitely make sure I at least blocked my phone number before calling!
Rule #3 Do not release bodily functions into the phone
This one SHOULD be a no brainer. I was on the phone with a guy, who likes to call himself the Man of My Dreams (no really, he has called himself that to me probably about 3 or 4 times so far) and I hear these strange noises. It sounded like a bad connection, or weird rustling noises. Then the "man of my dreams" says, "guess which one was the real one." What? I am so confused. "The real what?" I ask. "The real fart" he replies, "there were 3 but only one was real." Um. Gross. Why are boys this disgusting? And not to mention this guy is 27. At 27, no one should be farting into the phone for entertainment sake. If the conversation was that dull that he needed to resort to childish fart humor, well.. maybe it's not even worth taking to the dating level.
Maybe there is a real market for this, I should write a book... The Guy's Guide to Using the Phone: A step by step guide for semi-retarded males dating on the Internet. I could make a fortune.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Jew in Peru
When I´m dating at home, I make it a point, no not a point, but I do my best to avoid Israeli guys at all costs. I have a lot of bad pre-conceived notions about Israeli men being forceful or rude or just overall don't make great dates. Not really very open-minded of me. But everyone has their things that they look for or avoid.
On Monday I took the train to Aguas Calientes in order to do the day trip to Machu Picchu on Tuesday morning. I was travelling by myself, but had met a girl on the train ride up who was in a similar situation, except she was going to Machu Picchu as soon as we got to Aguas Caliente, and not waiting for the next day. We met up again once she got back later that night, and stopped by the ATM before heading out to dinner. While we were waiting in line, we struck up a conversation with a guy in front of us. He was cute. I mean REALLY cute and Israeli. Leave it to me to find the Jews in Peru. He was a little dirty and smelly, he had just got into the town from a 4 day hike on the Inca Trail and I still thought he was really attractive. We talked to him for a while, and invited him to go to dinner and drinks with us later. But he was tired and wanted to shower and had to get up at 4 am to finish his trek up to Machu Picchu. So he didn´t come out with us that night, and I honestly didn´t think I´d see him again.
I got up to head up to Machu Picchu around 5 am, got there around 6:15 or so, and who is the first person I see when I get off the bus? The Israeli. He was with his Inca Trail group, but he said hi as I passed, and I replied in kind, but I didn´t want to stop and talk since he was with his friends and such. So his group was behind me as we headed up the first trail that leads to the point where most people watch the sunrise over Machu Picchu. I stopped on one of the landings to take some pictures, and he stopped as well, and struck up a conversation. When he found out that I was there by myself (he thought I had gone yesterday with the girl from the train) he invited me to join his group. Of course I´d rather join his group than tour Machu Picchu alone. So, I went up with him to join his group and he introduced me to his 3 friends he had done the Inca Trail with. I felt a little uncomfortable, and like I was intruding into his group. All his friends are from Israel, and they were speaking Hebrew the whole time. Of course I felt self conscious, like they were talking about me or something.. damn should´ve paid more attention in Hebrew School! The whole tour Israeli guy was very nice. He would walk with me, and we talked a bit. If I stopped to take a picture, he would wait back with me. He would translate some of the things he was saying to his friends, and we had a great time on the tour. After the tour, I wasn´t sure what to do... Should I go off on my own, should I tag along with his group...? I went with them to find the bathroom, and we stopped at the cafe area to have a bite to eat. His friends were very nice, and we talked about Israel and the US, and I felt more at ease around them. His friends were going to climb Huanya Picchu, the large mountain that is traditionally seen behind the lost city of Machu Picchu. He was going to go and invited me to come with, but then I said that I don´t climb mountains. The whole fear of heights thing. He then decided he was too tired to climb the mountain too, and he would walk around the ruins with me some more. So we walked around the ruins some more, and talked for about another hour. But I could tell he was really hurting from his 4 day trek, and he was going to walk back to town of Aguas Calientes, which I had no desire to do, and had already bought my bus ticket to get back.
He is staying in Cusco for the next few weeks, which is where I am staying with my friend, so we exchanged phone numbers and email addresses so we can meet up to do a hike in the near by town of Pisac tomorrow, possibly. I doubt anything will come of me meeting an israeli boy in Peru, maybe I´ll see him again before I leave on Saturday. And he´s talked about coming to visit on his way back to Israel in September. He´s going to stop in NYC for a few days to visit a friend. We´ll see. He´s cute, and fun, and I really enjoyed his company. Go figure, me and jew, in peru.
On Monday I took the train to Aguas Calientes in order to do the day trip to Machu Picchu on Tuesday morning. I was travelling by myself, but had met a girl on the train ride up who was in a similar situation, except she was going to Machu Picchu as soon as we got to Aguas Caliente, and not waiting for the next day. We met up again once she got back later that night, and stopped by the ATM before heading out to dinner. While we were waiting in line, we struck up a conversation with a guy in front of us. He was cute. I mean REALLY cute and Israeli. Leave it to me to find the Jews in Peru. He was a little dirty and smelly, he had just got into the town from a 4 day hike on the Inca Trail and I still thought he was really attractive. We talked to him for a while, and invited him to go to dinner and drinks with us later. But he was tired and wanted to shower and had to get up at 4 am to finish his trek up to Machu Picchu. So he didn´t come out with us that night, and I honestly didn´t think I´d see him again.
I got up to head up to Machu Picchu around 5 am, got there around 6:15 or so, and who is the first person I see when I get off the bus? The Israeli. He was with his Inca Trail group, but he said hi as I passed, and I replied in kind, but I didn´t want to stop and talk since he was with his friends and such. So his group was behind me as we headed up the first trail that leads to the point where most people watch the sunrise over Machu Picchu. I stopped on one of the landings to take some pictures, and he stopped as well, and struck up a conversation. When he found out that I was there by myself (he thought I had gone yesterday with the girl from the train) he invited me to join his group. Of course I´d rather join his group than tour Machu Picchu alone. So, I went up with him to join his group and he introduced me to his 3 friends he had done the Inca Trail with. I felt a little uncomfortable, and like I was intruding into his group. All his friends are from Israel, and they were speaking Hebrew the whole time. Of course I felt self conscious, like they were talking about me or something.. damn should´ve paid more attention in Hebrew School! The whole tour Israeli guy was very nice. He would walk with me, and we talked a bit. If I stopped to take a picture, he would wait back with me. He would translate some of the things he was saying to his friends, and we had a great time on the tour. After the tour, I wasn´t sure what to do... Should I go off on my own, should I tag along with his group...? I went with them to find the bathroom, and we stopped at the cafe area to have a bite to eat. His friends were very nice, and we talked about Israel and the US, and I felt more at ease around them. His friends were going to climb Huanya Picchu, the large mountain that is traditionally seen behind the lost city of Machu Picchu. He was going to go and invited me to come with, but then I said that I don´t climb mountains. The whole fear of heights thing. He then decided he was too tired to climb the mountain too, and he would walk around the ruins with me some more. So we walked around the ruins some more, and talked for about another hour. But I could tell he was really hurting from his 4 day trek, and he was going to walk back to town of Aguas Calientes, which I had no desire to do, and had already bought my bus ticket to get back.
He is staying in Cusco for the next few weeks, which is where I am staying with my friend, so we exchanged phone numbers and email addresses so we can meet up to do a hike in the near by town of Pisac tomorrow, possibly. I doubt anything will come of me meeting an israeli boy in Peru, maybe I´ll see him again before I leave on Saturday. And he´s talked about coming to visit on his way back to Israel in September. He´s going to stop in NYC for a few days to visit a friend. We´ll see. He´s cute, and fun, and I really enjoyed his company. Go figure, me and jew, in peru.
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