My roommate says I'm not trying to date this summer. I'm not putting myself out there. And possibly waiting around for 3 days with the Israeli. She's right. I must try harder.
It's been nearly 2 months since a blog about the Israeli, but he has not been off the map entirely. I would've hoped in 2 months time, I would feel differently than I did on the day that he left... but the feelings are still rather strong, and confusing. The Israeli is currently in Peru... and I'm jealous of that in itself. The bad thing about technology and things like myspace and facebook, is that while they allow you to keep up on friends' lives and see what's going on... It can hurt like hell if you find out that way that a guy you may or may not still have feelings for is with someone else.
I thought this was the case a few weeks ago. I was on facebook, and decided to look at the Israeli's page. He had a message on his wall from some girl, and this already irritated me. I of course couldn't see anything on her page, but I tried nonetheless. We had very little contact, the Israeli and I, when he was on the west coast, before he left for Peru. Maybe 2 phone calls, and some text messages and that's it. When he got to Peru, he emailed me and we talking online for a little bit, but there were minimal conversations happening. In my mind, this was over, and I should probably be trying harder to get over him. About a week ago, I saw that the Israeli had changed his relationship status on Facebook to a relationship but it just says "it's complicated" instead of saying that he's in a relationship. Now in my mind, a million possibilities occurred to me. 1) He met someone down there. That surely would be complicated. 2) He got back together with his ex from Israel. I'm not sure why I thought this at all. He had not mentioned her at all, he does have pictures of her up in his profile, but as far as I know they haven't had much communication in the year that he's been here, and they were broken up a while before he came. But irrational minds think irrational things... that's just what mine thought. 3) He meant me. This was lowest on my realm of possibility, but I guess since we had been emailing a bit more in the week leading up to it, I thought there was a chance. I thought the first two were much more likely.
He sends me an email 2 days ago. I had asked him if when he came back to New York, if he was planning on staying here. In his email (which was subjected: Yes!!! - ha), he replied "if by here, you mean with you... " and goes on to tell me that he does want to stay with me when he comes to New York, and that he misses me so much. He also feels the need to tell me that he hasn't slept with anyone since he's been traveling - and he doesn't plan to. He says this is an inner-peace journey for himself, and he doesn't want to sleep with anyone except me apparently, before he goes back to Israel. Of course, when I read this I am relieved and glad to hear that he hasn't been with anyone else while he's been away. But a part of me is angry, not at him, but at myself, because I automatically then think - well of course, I won't sleep with anyone either until he gets back. And thus, closing myself off to a lot of possibility for the summer. I have a month until he comes back, and a lot can happen in a month's time. I have about 5 guys that I've been emailing trying to plan dates with for when I get back from Vegas... and I found myself wondering, should I not go out with them? Of course not, and I am going to try to get together with these guys, but... come August 22nd, I have other plans... So these dates will have to be dates just for dating sake. Which is fine, that's what most of my dates were last summer, I just don't feel like my heart is really in it anymore. The same day he sent me the email, he changed his relationship status. He's no longer in a "complicated relationship" and now there is no status for his relationship. He's not single, not taken, not complicated. I know I shouldn't base a feature on facebook to determine my feelings, but where there is so little contact to begin with, you take what you can get. And whatever this relationship is, one thing is for sure... it is complicated.
In other news, my laptop died the other night. My hard drive literally ate itself, or something equally as unpleasant. I had a final for grad school due the next day at midnight - all my work was on that computer. Remember Mr. Persistent? Well, he's still being persistent, but... did I also mention that he's also getting his PhD in computer science? Boring to hear about on a date, but a life saver when you need computer help. He literally saved me from having a nervous breakdown. Mr. P stayed up until 2am trying to help me fix my computer (which did not happen), and at the very least recover the information that I needed for my assignment. I promised I'd take him to dinner when I got back. So, while I don't look at that as a date... I'm sure he will.
I'm off to Vegas for a week, and shall return to the city at the end of July. Maybe there will be some fun stories to tell from Sin City, but as I'm going with my parents and my very engaged best friend... it might not be likely.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Safety
Last night brought me back to days of college, where stupidity ran rampant, and there was no consequence for behavior that clearly should have some repercussions.
Last night I didn't not go on a date, but it was so strange, I felt it deserved writing about. I went out with a friend last night to celebrate her getting a new job (away from the hell we both taught in for the past two years!). It was a long crazy night, including a lot of traveling and subsequent drinking. We started out in Brooklyn, not too far from my apartment, to see a band of my friend's sister's friend play. It was a good way to start the evening off, but we did not stay long.
We went to LES to go to a party of my friend's friend's ex-coworker (yes, this is how the night went, everyone was connected through someone else...), and there was a 10 dollar cover to sit on the roof, which we payed, and over-priced drinks. I told her that this was her payback for the jdate party, because this party - while the people weren't as strange - sucked just as bad. We got stuck talking to the world's most boring guy, and I couldn't even begin to tell you what we talked about. I know he asked us kind of in an accusatory manner as to what we did all summer, I stopped paying attention not long after that. Although, I'm sure I made an awesome impression as well when I spilled a good portion of my beer on him. I wasn't too concerned, he needed a reason to go home and change. He and his friend were wearing matching (although different colors) Izod polo shirts. It was so weird.
We didn't stay too long at the party, long enough for one drink, me to spill it on someone, and to have a boring conversation that felt like an eternity. My friend's other friends from Israel were coming to the LES for drinks, and we decided to meet up with them. We left the boring, crowded bar we were at and proceeded deeper into the LES. We arrived at the bar about 20 minutes before her friends arrived. We tried sitting outside, but the bar had to close their outdoor garden at 1am, due to noise and neighbors. So we got pushed back inside, and we were heading to sit at a table, but a man who was behind us somehow got there first. There was room for 4 or 5 people to sit at the table, and he was just sitting there by himself. He saw us looking at the table, and invited us to come sit there. I'm sure he would've left if we asked him to, but at that point it was just me and my friend, so there was no need.
He strikes up a conversation with us, and I'm not really sure what he's saying because A) it's really loud in the bar - like too loud to hear anything and B) he had a heavy accent, which I think was Italian. He's talking to us, and offers to buy us a drink. We politely decline, but continue talking to him. After a while, he says that he's going to buy us drinks, so what do we want. At that point we let him buy us drinks. He comes back with not just the drinks, but with 3 cute guys in tow. At this moment, of course, my friend's friends show up, so there is a flurry of activity. The old man is trying to introduce us to the guys he brought over for us to talk to, and my friend is introducing me to her friends (also both guys) who just showed up, and all of the suddenly our table feels crowded. I thought that the man would leave once our friends showed up. But he didn't. He was talking to another friend for a little bit, and one of the guys he brought over slid right into his seat next to me, and struck up a conversation. One of his other friends sat next to my friend and talked to her for a bit. The guy I was talking to was young, though I couldn't tell how young, early 20s, maybe 24 at the oldest. He was there with his two friends from high school, and he was friends with the old guy because apparently the old guy was his jazz mentor. The young guy excused himself for a moment, and then the old guy came back and sat in his seat. I was interested to hear more about his jazz, but it was so hard to hear him, I felt rude asking him to keep repeating himself. I should have talked to my friend and her friends, but they were having a conversation in Hebrew, and as I could barely understand the English that was being spoken around, Hebrew wasn't going to do me any good. The young guy came back, and instead of taking his seat back from the old guy, he sat in between us, forcing me to move over to a seat closer to my friend. Fine by me, I needed some space between me and the old guy, he was starting to touch my hand when he talked to me, and it was beginning to creep me out.
The young guy invited my friends and me to go to an after-hours dance party, at some club down the road. I asked my friend if she wanted to go, and she said she would go if I wanted to. At that point, the young guy was cute and very flirty with me, so of course I wanted to go. I told them we'd go, but figured since it was only 2am and the bar hadn't closed yet, we wouldn't be leaving any time soon. My friend's friends did NOT like these guys. And rightfully so, they were strange guys, and the old guy was definitely creepy. When the young guy went to go talk to his friends, the old guy moved into the seat next to me again, and he kept touching me - either on my hand or my back, and he was undeniably looking down my shirt when he thought I wasn't looking or didn't notice. I kept pulling it up, but to no avail, he was not deterred.
When the time came for us to go to the after party dance club, I was not sure that my friend really wanted to go, so I wasn't going to force her. Her friends were adamant that we did not go with these guys, and we could find a place to go dancing just the four of us. They didn't like that they wouldn't give us the address of the place we were going, so we could just meet them there. The young guy I was talking to was insisting that we go with him. He was starting to get creepy. We were indecisive for a long time, and the young guy and the old guy were finally like, we're going, see you later. So they left the bar, and we decided we'd go outside to figure out what we'd do next and if we'd try to find a place to go dancing. As we were getting up to leave, young guy comes back in the bar, and sees us leaving, and comes over to me. He tries to hold my hand, which I quickly pull back from him. We stand outside the bar with the young guy and one his friends. Young guy tries to get my friend and I to get into the old guy's car. My friend's friend nearly looses his cool at the thought of that, there is no way in hell he was going to let us get into that car with a creepy old man and 3 guys we don't know. The young guy agrees that we can go to a bar that's closer so that we don't have to drive there, but when we say that we're going to walk over, he says no. At this point, it's just ridiculous. We decide to go to a closer bar, and if they want to join us they can drive over there, but we're not getting in the car. friend agrees with us that we should not get into their car, and that he'll walk over to the bar with us.
The young guy's friend agrees with us that we should not get into this strange guy's car, and he will walk over with us. He goes over to find out where the exact location of the bar is, and the next thing we know, the car has driven off, three young and one creepy old guy in tow.
We all just looked at each other and cracked up. In hindsight, going with those guys would have been incredibly stupid. The rest of our night was non-descript but fun. We were turned away from a club because one of the guys was wearing sandals, and we wandered around the east village to no avail. We ended up getting a slice of pizza and the guys went home. My friend and I sat on a bench outside the pizza place for a while and decided that we should have gone with the other guys. It would've been fun, although getting into their car would've been incredibly creepy. I guess we may have saved ourselves from a brush with disaster, but we'll never know.
Last night I didn't not go on a date, but it was so strange, I felt it deserved writing about. I went out with a friend last night to celebrate her getting a new job (away from the hell we both taught in for the past two years!). It was a long crazy night, including a lot of traveling and subsequent drinking. We started out in Brooklyn, not too far from my apartment, to see a band of my friend's sister's friend play. It was a good way to start the evening off, but we did not stay long.
We went to LES to go to a party of my friend's friend's ex-coworker (yes, this is how the night went, everyone was connected through someone else...), and there was a 10 dollar cover to sit on the roof, which we payed, and over-priced drinks. I told her that this was her payback for the jdate party, because this party - while the people weren't as strange - sucked just as bad. We got stuck talking to the world's most boring guy, and I couldn't even begin to tell you what we talked about. I know he asked us kind of in an accusatory manner as to what we did all summer, I stopped paying attention not long after that. Although, I'm sure I made an awesome impression as well when I spilled a good portion of my beer on him. I wasn't too concerned, he needed a reason to go home and change. He and his friend were wearing matching (although different colors) Izod polo shirts. It was so weird.
We didn't stay too long at the party, long enough for one drink, me to spill it on someone, and to have a boring conversation that felt like an eternity. My friend's other friends from Israel were coming to the LES for drinks, and we decided to meet up with them. We left the boring, crowded bar we were at and proceeded deeper into the LES. We arrived at the bar about 20 minutes before her friends arrived. We tried sitting outside, but the bar had to close their outdoor garden at 1am, due to noise and neighbors. So we got pushed back inside, and we were heading to sit at a table, but a man who was behind us somehow got there first. There was room for 4 or 5 people to sit at the table, and he was just sitting there by himself. He saw us looking at the table, and invited us to come sit there. I'm sure he would've left if we asked him to, but at that point it was just me and my friend, so there was no need.
He strikes up a conversation with us, and I'm not really sure what he's saying because A) it's really loud in the bar - like too loud to hear anything and B) he had a heavy accent, which I think was Italian. He's talking to us, and offers to buy us a drink. We politely decline, but continue talking to him. After a while, he says that he's going to buy us drinks, so what do we want. At that point we let him buy us drinks. He comes back with not just the drinks, but with 3 cute guys in tow. At this moment, of course, my friend's friends show up, so there is a flurry of activity. The old man is trying to introduce us to the guys he brought over for us to talk to, and my friend is introducing me to her friends (also both guys) who just showed up, and all of the suddenly our table feels crowded. I thought that the man would leave once our friends showed up. But he didn't. He was talking to another friend for a little bit, and one of the guys he brought over slid right into his seat next to me, and struck up a conversation. One of his other friends sat next to my friend and talked to her for a bit. The guy I was talking to was young, though I couldn't tell how young, early 20s, maybe 24 at the oldest. He was there with his two friends from high school, and he was friends with the old guy because apparently the old guy was his jazz mentor. The young guy excused himself for a moment, and then the old guy came back and sat in his seat. I was interested to hear more about his jazz, but it was so hard to hear him, I felt rude asking him to keep repeating himself. I should have talked to my friend and her friends, but they were having a conversation in Hebrew, and as I could barely understand the English that was being spoken around, Hebrew wasn't going to do me any good. The young guy came back, and instead of taking his seat back from the old guy, he sat in between us, forcing me to move over to a seat closer to my friend. Fine by me, I needed some space between me and the old guy, he was starting to touch my hand when he talked to me, and it was beginning to creep me out.
The young guy invited my friends and me to go to an after-hours dance party, at some club down the road. I asked my friend if she wanted to go, and she said she would go if I wanted to. At that point, the young guy was cute and very flirty with me, so of course I wanted to go. I told them we'd go, but figured since it was only 2am and the bar hadn't closed yet, we wouldn't be leaving any time soon. My friend's friends did NOT like these guys. And rightfully so, they were strange guys, and the old guy was definitely creepy. When the young guy went to go talk to his friends, the old guy moved into the seat next to me again, and he kept touching me - either on my hand or my back, and he was undeniably looking down my shirt when he thought I wasn't looking or didn't notice. I kept pulling it up, but to no avail, he was not deterred.
When the time came for us to go to the after party dance club, I was not sure that my friend really wanted to go, so I wasn't going to force her. Her friends were adamant that we did not go with these guys, and we could find a place to go dancing just the four of us. They didn't like that they wouldn't give us the address of the place we were going, so we could just meet them there. The young guy I was talking to was insisting that we go with him. He was starting to get creepy. We were indecisive for a long time, and the young guy and the old guy were finally like, we're going, see you later. So they left the bar, and we decided we'd go outside to figure out what we'd do next and if we'd try to find a place to go dancing. As we were getting up to leave, young guy comes back in the bar, and sees us leaving, and comes over to me. He tries to hold my hand, which I quickly pull back from him. We stand outside the bar with the young guy and one his friends. Young guy tries to get my friend and I to get into the old guy's car. My friend's friend nearly looses his cool at the thought of that, there is no way in hell he was going to let us get into that car with a creepy old man and 3 guys we don't know. The young guy agrees that we can go to a bar that's closer so that we don't have to drive there, but when we say that we're going to walk over, he says no. At this point, it's just ridiculous. We decide to go to a closer bar, and if they want to join us they can drive over there, but we're not getting in the car. friend agrees with us that we should not get into their car, and that he'll walk over to the bar with us.
The young guy's friend agrees with us that we should not get into this strange guy's car, and he will walk over with us. He goes over to find out where the exact location of the bar is, and the next thing we know, the car has driven off, three young and one creepy old guy in tow.
We all just looked at each other and cracked up. In hindsight, going with those guys would have been incredibly stupid. The rest of our night was non-descript but fun. We were turned away from a club because one of the guys was wearing sandals, and we wandered around the east village to no avail. We ended up getting a slice of pizza and the guys went home. My friend and I sat on a bench outside the pizza place for a while and decided that we should have gone with the other guys. It would've been fun, although getting into their car would've been incredibly creepy. I guess we may have saved ourselves from a brush with disaster, but we'll never know.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Signs.
In the olden days (what really are the olden days?) and mostly in folklore, people believed that omens were sent through objects, animals, and even insects. I'm not a superstitious person, but I think someone might be trying to send me a message... and it comes in the form of a cockroach.
In my 2+ years living in my apartment, I have seen exactly 2 cockroaches in this place. One was the night I had my first double header, and the second was tonight. And tonight I just so happened to have my FIRST double header of the summer. Now I know, it's the summer, I live in the city, and I probably should have done those dishes in the sink a few days ago... but what kind of sign is it that when ONLY on nights that I go out with more than one guy in one night, cockroaches appear in my apartment?
How these dates came about... well, today was an absolutely gorgeous day in the city. Breezy, in the 70s, low 80s, and MUCH too beautiful to be stuck indoors doing grad school work, which is exactly what I had planned. I decided I needed to go out, and what better way to go out than on a date?? So I posted a quick ad on craigslist, and the responses came pouring in (ok, maybe not pouring but there were about 30 or so in the first half an hour...) So, I chose three to respond to of the initial response, and of the three I responded to, 2 responded to my email. So, I had two dates in the works, but I was sure that one of them was going to bail on the actual meeting part. Not everyone is ok with meeting someone the same day you start talking to them. So, I kept it up with both.. and neither bailed. Suddenly I had two dates for drinks, very close to each other. The first guy was coming from Brooklyn, so I knew he'd get here first. The other was coming all the way from central jersey (where he works...) so, I figured with traffic, by the time he got here, I'd be finishing drinks with date #1, and ready for #2.
Date #1 took the train over from Williamsburg, and the G was running a bit slower than usual today (which is really bad, because the G sucks to begin with...), and I had promised him (as a way to get him to come to my neighborhood, to save me time between dates!) that if the G took more than 5 minutes to come, the first drink was on me. It clearly took a while, and I wanted to be true to my word... so I did indeed buy the drinks. Anyway, getting ahead of myself. We met up at the subway station, and walked half a block over to a trendy Peruvian restaurant for drinks. Oh, did I mention that he was cute? Really really cute. Not so much MY type of cute, but very boyishly good looking. We sat out in the back patio, and I had a mojito and he had a Peruvian beer. I felt really cool that I could suggest what kind of Peruvian beer was good, because he asked if I knew (and I do!) but the place didn't have any... bummer. We talked for a good hour or so, and I couldn't tell if he was interested or not. Regardless, my phone rang not too long into the date. My second date had somehow managed to come through Staten Island and Brooklyn during rush hour on the ONE day where there is no traffic. Sure enough, if I have to be somewhere in Brooklyn and I'm driving through Staten Island and Brooklyn, there will be an accident and loads of traffic, but no, when I WANT there to be traffic, to buy me a little time, there is none. I politely excused myself from my current date, and answered my phone to find that my second date was merely seconds away from parking the car and getting to where I was supposed to meet him. I told him I'd be right there, and then continued to talk and finish my drink with my first date.
I felt REALLY bad, for both of the guys at that point. Date #1 I was cutting really short because I told him that a friend had just called me unexpectedly and was in from out of town, and I felt like I should go see him. He was gracious enough (hell, I paid for his drink, why should he care?), but again, I don't think he's interested, and if anything maybe we'll hang out again as friends. Date #2 I felt badly for because he must have been waiting for me for a good 20 minutes. Yeah, that makes me later than I think is acceptable - and I have been known to be very late before.
I hug Date #1 goodbye, and point him in the direction of his train, and call Date #2 before I'm even across the street to assure him that I am in fact on my way. So, I show up for my second date, and he too is cute, but in a more non-conventional way. He's shorter than me for one (but he did tell me that prior to meeting him), and just smaller in stature - basically smaller than me, which usually makes me uncomfortable, but I wasn't. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek as soon as I showed up, and didn't say a word about how long I had kept him waiting. We walked around my neighborhood to find a good bar, and ended up pretty close to where I was for date 1, but at a wine bar just down the block. We sat and had a glass of wine (and he didn't criticize my choice of wine!), and had about 2 hours of good conversation. Conversationally, he was very uninhibited, one of the first things he said to me when we sat down was that I was very pretty. I'm not used to receiving compliments like that on a first date, but I'll take it. The conversation was good and very easy, and I think we both felt very comfortable around each other. The conversation turned first-date inappropriate at some point when the topic of past partners came up, and because it was where the conversation was leading.... he asked me how many guys I'd been with - which is a topic I usually avoid because I'm prone to lie. Not because my number is high, I just never really kept track. I told him the truth... and I'm not sure why. I felt really comfortable with him - and I'm certain he felt the same. He's definitely not the type of guy I am typically attracted to, but none the less, I was attracted. He's older than I would like (32), shorter than I would like, smaller than I would like... but all that aside - I still liked him.
We parted ways after we finished our wine, and I gave him directions on how to get back to the tunnel (did I mention he lives in Jersey - something else I don't like!), and we separated with a hug and a quick kiss on the lips (but no more romantic than the initial kiss on the cheek). He called me before he even was out of Brooklyn... I thought at first he must be lost, but no, he was just waiting at the light, and wanted to tell me that he had a good time. He asked if I was home yet, but I had stopped at the diner to pick up a salad for dinner (drinking + dating + no food = NO GOOD). His immediate response was, "I wish you had told me you were hungry, I thought you had already eaten, I would have taken you to dinner!" At which point, I had to assure him that I wasn't in fact hungry on the date, but did need to eat dinner or else would feel rather ill tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I will hear from him again, in fact I'd be pretty surprised if I did not.
The cockroach may be a omen of things to come... but looking at my dating record AFTER the cockroach last summer, it seemed to help things along. Maybe it's not so bad after all.
In my 2+ years living in my apartment, I have seen exactly 2 cockroaches in this place. One was the night I had my first double header, and the second was tonight. And tonight I just so happened to have my FIRST double header of the summer. Now I know, it's the summer, I live in the city, and I probably should have done those dishes in the sink a few days ago... but what kind of sign is it that when ONLY on nights that I go out with more than one guy in one night, cockroaches appear in my apartment?
How these dates came about... well, today was an absolutely gorgeous day in the city. Breezy, in the 70s, low 80s, and MUCH too beautiful to be stuck indoors doing grad school work, which is exactly what I had planned. I decided I needed to go out, and what better way to go out than on a date?? So I posted a quick ad on craigslist, and the responses came pouring in (ok, maybe not pouring but there were about 30 or so in the first half an hour...) So, I chose three to respond to of the initial response, and of the three I responded to, 2 responded to my email. So, I had two dates in the works, but I was sure that one of them was going to bail on the actual meeting part. Not everyone is ok with meeting someone the same day you start talking to them. So, I kept it up with both.. and neither bailed. Suddenly I had two dates for drinks, very close to each other. The first guy was coming from Brooklyn, so I knew he'd get here first. The other was coming all the way from central jersey (where he works...) so, I figured with traffic, by the time he got here, I'd be finishing drinks with date #1, and ready for #2.
Date #1 took the train over from Williamsburg, and the G was running a bit slower than usual today (which is really bad, because the G sucks to begin with...), and I had promised him (as a way to get him to come to my neighborhood, to save me time between dates!) that if the G took more than 5 minutes to come, the first drink was on me. It clearly took a while, and I wanted to be true to my word... so I did indeed buy the drinks. Anyway, getting ahead of myself. We met up at the subway station, and walked half a block over to a trendy Peruvian restaurant for drinks. Oh, did I mention that he was cute? Really really cute. Not so much MY type of cute, but very boyishly good looking. We sat out in the back patio, and I had a mojito and he had a Peruvian beer. I felt really cool that I could suggest what kind of Peruvian beer was good, because he asked if I knew (and I do!) but the place didn't have any... bummer. We talked for a good hour or so, and I couldn't tell if he was interested or not. Regardless, my phone rang not too long into the date. My second date had somehow managed to come through Staten Island and Brooklyn during rush hour on the ONE day where there is no traffic. Sure enough, if I have to be somewhere in Brooklyn and I'm driving through Staten Island and Brooklyn, there will be an accident and loads of traffic, but no, when I WANT there to be traffic, to buy me a little time, there is none. I politely excused myself from my current date, and answered my phone to find that my second date was merely seconds away from parking the car and getting to where I was supposed to meet him. I told him I'd be right there, and then continued to talk and finish my drink with my first date.
I felt REALLY bad, for both of the guys at that point. Date #1 I was cutting really short because I told him that a friend had just called me unexpectedly and was in from out of town, and I felt like I should go see him. He was gracious enough (hell, I paid for his drink, why should he care?), but again, I don't think he's interested, and if anything maybe we'll hang out again as friends. Date #2 I felt badly for because he must have been waiting for me for a good 20 minutes. Yeah, that makes me later than I think is acceptable - and I have been known to be very late before.
I hug Date #1 goodbye, and point him in the direction of his train, and call Date #2 before I'm even across the street to assure him that I am in fact on my way. So, I show up for my second date, and he too is cute, but in a more non-conventional way. He's shorter than me for one (but he did tell me that prior to meeting him), and just smaller in stature - basically smaller than me, which usually makes me uncomfortable, but I wasn't. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek as soon as I showed up, and didn't say a word about how long I had kept him waiting. We walked around my neighborhood to find a good bar, and ended up pretty close to where I was for date 1, but at a wine bar just down the block. We sat and had a glass of wine (and he didn't criticize my choice of wine!), and had about 2 hours of good conversation. Conversationally, he was very uninhibited, one of the first things he said to me when we sat down was that I was very pretty. I'm not used to receiving compliments like that on a first date, but I'll take it. The conversation was good and very easy, and I think we both felt very comfortable around each other. The conversation turned first-date inappropriate at some point when the topic of past partners came up, and because it was where the conversation was leading.... he asked me how many guys I'd been with - which is a topic I usually avoid because I'm prone to lie. Not because my number is high, I just never really kept track. I told him the truth... and I'm not sure why. I felt really comfortable with him - and I'm certain he felt the same. He's definitely not the type of guy I am typically attracted to, but none the less, I was attracted. He's older than I would like (32), shorter than I would like, smaller than I would like... but all that aside - I still liked him.
We parted ways after we finished our wine, and I gave him directions on how to get back to the tunnel (did I mention he lives in Jersey - something else I don't like!), and we separated with a hug and a quick kiss on the lips (but no more romantic than the initial kiss on the cheek). He called me before he even was out of Brooklyn... I thought at first he must be lost, but no, he was just waiting at the light, and wanted to tell me that he had a good time. He asked if I was home yet, but I had stopped at the diner to pick up a salad for dinner (drinking + dating + no food = NO GOOD). His immediate response was, "I wish you had told me you were hungry, I thought you had already eaten, I would have taken you to dinner!" At which point, I had to assure him that I wasn't in fact hungry on the date, but did need to eat dinner or else would feel rather ill tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I will hear from him again, in fact I'd be pretty surprised if I did not.
The cockroach may be a omen of things to come... but looking at my dating record AFTER the cockroach last summer, it seemed to help things along. Maybe it's not so bad after all.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
2 for 1
So I'm behind in life in general. Behind in school work, behind in catching up with friends, and in turn, behind on these blog posts.
I have 2 dates to blog about, but the first was so short, it's hardly worth even writing about.
Sunday, June 24th
I had a few brief exchanges and one phone call with this guy prior to the Sunday brunch date. He was Jewish and from Argentina, and on paper - really appealing. He's lived in America for 13 years, so I didn't really have to worry about another situation like the Israeli (which is another story all together!), and I was looking forward to meeting him.
We decided to meet up Sunday morning for a brunch/wine date. This worked well for me since we were meeting on the Upper West Side, and I had to be at my friend's picnic in Central Park at 2, so there was an out for me if I needed it after 2 hours.
We met up at 12:30 instead of noon because he had texted me asking if I could meet up with him later, which was fine for me, because as usual, I was running late. The subway ride up to the date was by far the best part of the date to mention. There was a crazy guy in the car going up and down the car, preaching about God and saying that he was a true Jew (note: he was black, I've known black jews before, but I don't think he was like them...) and everyone else is going to hell - basically. There was a Hasidic jew in the car as well, who of course, couldn't keep his mouth shut, and had to argue back with the crazy guy. I know very well that the best tactic with crazy people on the subway is to ignore them, regardless if you agree or disagree with them. You'll never be able to reason sensibly with them, so no point in getting worked up. Apparently, the Hasidic jew does not believe this either (and maybe making him equally as crazy) and they were fighting, back and forth about who was a real jew. Awesome. The best part was the cute guy sitting across from me, that I got to smile and roll my eyes at due to the situation at hand.
Back to the date - I leave the subway, and walk over to the wine bar. It was a beautiful day, and it was a nice place to sit and have a glass of wine. I got a glass of rosé wine, which I thought was a nice summer brunch option, and my date immediately criticizes my choice in wine. "I don't like rosés," he says. As if I would care. "That's a shame," I replied, "they are a good alternative to a heavy red when the weather is so warm. And they're not as light as a white." Hmm.. that got him. The conversation from there got worse. I can't remember what we talked about, only that I was bored. After only an hour of sitting there, drinking my "less than acceptable" choice of wine, I was ready to go. I pulled the picnic excuse out earlier than I had planned at 1:30, and we parted ways.
He sent me an email - 2 days later - saying how I was intelligent and a great conversationalist, but he didn't feel any real connection. Really? I can't imagine why not.
Thursday, June 28th
Summer started officially for me June 27th around 4 when I left my school (in hell) for the very last time! School's out, and of course, what a better way to start off my summer than with a date?? This guy had contacted me through Jdate, and had been persistently trying to get me to go out with him for a few weeks. Because of my busy schedule, I had been postponing it as long as possible... that, and I didn't really think it would be that great of a date.
After spending a glorious day with one of my friends - at the beach, getting pedicures, and having a great dinner - I finally agreed to meet up with Mr. Persistent later on in the evening. It's summer, and I had nothing to do the next day.
We met up at a local bar near my apartment (the one I went to with my trainer the week before) for a quick drink (or so I thought...). At first impression, I thought I had been transported back to late nineties grunge from high school. He was wearing a plaid shirt unbuttoned over a white t-shirt, and khaki baggy pants, his hair was long and parted in the middle. Seriously, I didn't think people still dressed themselves this way. To make matters worse the bar was playing ONLY alternative rock from the nineties. It was some XM radio station, that he knew, and was telling me all about. I felt like I had been transported back to high school, 1996-style.
Drinks were fine, I had a wonderful summer wheat beer, and he had dinner and a drink. He talked a lot about technology, and computers, which I don't really need to talk about outside of doing work for my tech class. I tend to look around when I talk to people, especially if I'm bored, and if the person I'm talking to has a slight (and by slight, I mean really obvious) tic which is distracting when I'm trying to talk.... Mr. Persistent didn't like that, and kept asking me if he was that boring that I had to keep looking at other things. I wanted to say, yes!
Things got interesting when somehow the topic of high school came up. Turns out, Mr. Persistent went to Midwood HS. I do some quick math and figure out that he indeed would have graduated the same time as my ex from last year. So I casually ask him if he knows my ex - to which he replies - "hmm, skinny red headed kid?" Yup. That's him. The conversation proceeds about the ex and how I know him (interesting conversation), which leads to me telling Mr. Persistent about my ex's comedy routine and how I know for a fact that it's all a lie. See, my ex's premise for his comedy routine is that he's a 28 y/o virgin (appealing, no?), which I know, for a fact, is completely false. It may have been true up until he was 26 (as far as I know), but apparently he can't come up with any new material. So he's keeping up the front that he's a virgin, even though he's not. This probably was not a conversation that my date wanted to be having with me, but I did not care at that point. I had very little to say to him in the first place, I would take any common ground I could find.
Around midnight, the bar was closing, and we were suddenly the last people other than the people who worked there in the bar. I was hoping for a quick goodbye outside the bar, and a quick walk home, getting to bed not long after midnight. My date, being persistent, tells me that he'll walk me to my apartment. I don't want this guy to see where I live, so I tell him I'm actually going to my car to move it for alternate side parking. Undeterred, he tells me that he'll walk me to my car. So he does. We linger outside my car for a while, a lot longer than I would have liked. And I can't remember for the life of me what we actually talked about for that time. But I do know that by the time he left, I moved my car, and got back into my apartment it was nearing 2 am. I knew I'd hear from him, sooner rather than later, but he was going away for the weekend, I thought that would buy me some time. Wrong, as usual, he texts me the very next day as he's driving upstate and is stuck in traffic. His text message was strange, and it was something like, Driving upstate - stuck in traffic, so I'll talk to you later. I didn't respond because the text didn't warrant a response. That and I didn't want to encourage him anymore than spending 4 hours with him the night before already had. He's still been contacting me, a week later, and I've been responding with minimal communication, and I'm always quick to end the conversation. I have a limited time left in the city and it is not to be wasted on repeat bad dates.
I have 2 dates to blog about, but the first was so short, it's hardly worth even writing about.
Sunday, June 24th
I had a few brief exchanges and one phone call with this guy prior to the Sunday brunch date. He was Jewish and from Argentina, and on paper - really appealing. He's lived in America for 13 years, so I didn't really have to worry about another situation like the Israeli (which is another story all together!), and I was looking forward to meeting him.
We decided to meet up Sunday morning for a brunch/wine date. This worked well for me since we were meeting on the Upper West Side, and I had to be at my friend's picnic in Central Park at 2, so there was an out for me if I needed it after 2 hours.
We met up at 12:30 instead of noon because he had texted me asking if I could meet up with him later, which was fine for me, because as usual, I was running late. The subway ride up to the date was by far the best part of the date to mention. There was a crazy guy in the car going up and down the car, preaching about God and saying that he was a true Jew (note: he was black, I've known black jews before, but I don't think he was like them...) and everyone else is going to hell - basically. There was a Hasidic jew in the car as well, who of course, couldn't keep his mouth shut, and had to argue back with the crazy guy. I know very well that the best tactic with crazy people on the subway is to ignore them, regardless if you agree or disagree with them. You'll never be able to reason sensibly with them, so no point in getting worked up. Apparently, the Hasidic jew does not believe this either (and maybe making him equally as crazy) and they were fighting, back and forth about who was a real jew. Awesome. The best part was the cute guy sitting across from me, that I got to smile and roll my eyes at due to the situation at hand.
Back to the date - I leave the subway, and walk over to the wine bar. It was a beautiful day, and it was a nice place to sit and have a glass of wine. I got a glass of rosé wine, which I thought was a nice summer brunch option, and my date immediately criticizes my choice in wine. "I don't like rosés," he says. As if I would care. "That's a shame," I replied, "they are a good alternative to a heavy red when the weather is so warm. And they're not as light as a white." Hmm.. that got him. The conversation from there got worse. I can't remember what we talked about, only that I was bored. After only an hour of sitting there, drinking my "less than acceptable" choice of wine, I was ready to go. I pulled the picnic excuse out earlier than I had planned at 1:30, and we parted ways.
He sent me an email - 2 days later - saying how I was intelligent and a great conversationalist, but he didn't feel any real connection. Really? I can't imagine why not.
Thursday, June 28th
Summer started officially for me June 27th around 4 when I left my school (in hell) for the very last time! School's out, and of course, what a better way to start off my summer than with a date?? This guy had contacted me through Jdate, and had been persistently trying to get me to go out with him for a few weeks. Because of my busy schedule, I had been postponing it as long as possible... that, and I didn't really think it would be that great of a date.
After spending a glorious day with one of my friends - at the beach, getting pedicures, and having a great dinner - I finally agreed to meet up with Mr. Persistent later on in the evening. It's summer, and I had nothing to do the next day.
We met up at a local bar near my apartment (the one I went to with my trainer the week before) for a quick drink (or so I thought...). At first impression, I thought I had been transported back to late nineties grunge from high school. He was wearing a plaid shirt unbuttoned over a white t-shirt, and khaki baggy pants, his hair was long and parted in the middle. Seriously, I didn't think people still dressed themselves this way. To make matters worse the bar was playing ONLY alternative rock from the nineties. It was some XM radio station, that he knew, and was telling me all about. I felt like I had been transported back to high school, 1996-style.
Drinks were fine, I had a wonderful summer wheat beer, and he had dinner and a drink. He talked a lot about technology, and computers, which I don't really need to talk about outside of doing work for my tech class. I tend to look around when I talk to people, especially if I'm bored, and if the person I'm talking to has a slight (and by slight, I mean really obvious) tic which is distracting when I'm trying to talk.... Mr. Persistent didn't like that, and kept asking me if he was that boring that I had to keep looking at other things. I wanted to say, yes!
Things got interesting when somehow the topic of high school came up. Turns out, Mr. Persistent went to Midwood HS. I do some quick math and figure out that he indeed would have graduated the same time as my ex from last year. So I casually ask him if he knows my ex - to which he replies - "hmm, skinny red headed kid?" Yup. That's him. The conversation proceeds about the ex and how I know him (interesting conversation), which leads to me telling Mr. Persistent about my ex's comedy routine and how I know for a fact that it's all a lie. See, my ex's premise for his comedy routine is that he's a 28 y/o virgin (appealing, no?), which I know, for a fact, is completely false. It may have been true up until he was 26 (as far as I know), but apparently he can't come up with any new material. So he's keeping up the front that he's a virgin, even though he's not. This probably was not a conversation that my date wanted to be having with me, but I did not care at that point. I had very little to say to him in the first place, I would take any common ground I could find.
Around midnight, the bar was closing, and we were suddenly the last people other than the people who worked there in the bar. I was hoping for a quick goodbye outside the bar, and a quick walk home, getting to bed not long after midnight. My date, being persistent, tells me that he'll walk me to my apartment. I don't want this guy to see where I live, so I tell him I'm actually going to my car to move it for alternate side parking. Undeterred, he tells me that he'll walk me to my car. So he does. We linger outside my car for a while, a lot longer than I would have liked. And I can't remember for the life of me what we actually talked about for that time. But I do know that by the time he left, I moved my car, and got back into my apartment it was nearing 2 am. I knew I'd hear from him, sooner rather than later, but he was going away for the weekend, I thought that would buy me some time. Wrong, as usual, he texts me the very next day as he's driving upstate and is stuck in traffic. His text message was strange, and it was something like, Driving upstate - stuck in traffic, so I'll talk to you later. I didn't respond because the text didn't warrant a response. That and I didn't want to encourage him anymore than spending 4 hours with him the night before already had. He's still been contacting me, a week later, and I've been responding with minimal communication, and I'm always quick to end the conversation. I have a limited time left in the city and it is not to be wasted on repeat bad dates.
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