Because

This date started in disaster. It was a Sunday Brunch date, which I don't usually do. Because Sunday Brunch is best spent with a group of friends, or recovering from Saturday night... it's not really a great date time. And not to mention, I didn't get in from last night's date until after 4 am. So I was pretty tired this morning when I had to get up for my 1pm date. I am not a morning person at all, and would much rather spend my Sunday morning lazing around the apartment, reading the paper, gossiping with my roommate over bagels and coffee... but no, I had to get all dressed up for brunch. I was running a little late as is my nature, and in the rush, forgot my cell phone.

I didn't realize this until I was halfway to the subway, and did not think I needed to turn around to get it. I mean, I got along quite fine before cell phones, it would be nice to spend an afternoon not tethered to technology chain. That was the first step leading to the disaster.

I get to the subway stop, and we're meeting for Dim Sum in Chinatown. Fun! I have never had Dim Sum in the city before and I am really excited about it. The place we are meeting at is PACKED. and I mean it is wall to wall people. How am I supposed to find someone in here? I manage to search through the sea of people - turns out, finding a 30 something white jewish man in this crowd, shouldn't be too hard. But I don't see him. I check my watch. I was 10 minutes late for the date, which means if he was there, he'd have to have been pretty impatient to have left already. Maybe he's running late... it's not like I can call him on my cell to check... So I wait around. Time ticks on. 1:20, 1:30... by 1:45 I decide I need to call him. I don't have his number with me, which means enlisting my friends to help me out on this one. My first step in this mission is to find a working payphone, get a phone card, and try to remember my friends cell phone numbers by heart. I have 3 phone numbers (that would have been actually useful at this point in time) stored in my head. 2 of my best friends and my parents. Please God, do not let me have to call my parents, to have them log into my jdate account to read my email to get this guy's phone number. Thankfully I got in touch with a friend, and after an infuriating encounter with bad connections and phone cards that suck up money faster than you would think (for about 5 minutes of conversation I went through an entire 60 minute phone card!) I got this guy's number. At this point it is 2pm. A full hour after the date should have started. I call my date, and he answers. He's at Port Authority. Apparently he had some trouble with a bus, or something... and he's on his way downtown, I should meet him in 20-25 mins.

After an hour and a half of waiting around, he gets there and we have some dim sum. At that point I was exhausted from having run around trying to get in touch with this guy, and from a lack of sleep the night before combined with having no coffee at that point. As soon as we sat down, I knew I was going to have to fight to stay awake. The conversation was fine. He went to the same college that I went to my freshman year, so we had a lot to talk about in that regard. However, he was the type of person who tried to "one up" everything you said. And he clearly believed himself to be always right. After the meal, we took a walk around Chinatown and got some ice cream at the Chinatown Ice Cream Factory. Quite possibly my favorite part of the date. We walked around some more, and sat in a park in Chinatown. We talked for quite a while. He is starting his first year of teaching in the fall, so we had that to talk about as well. However, he said something about when he was student teaching, there was this girl, a student of his (I think he referred to her as a snotty bitch - people who hold grudges against their students are not cool in my book. I have called my students names after a particularly bad day, or said they they act bitchy, but 2 months out of it, I can look back on each of them with no resentment) used to start sentences with "because" and he always took points off for it and she would complain. She was an honor student and I think he thought she was grade grubbing, but in actuality, the girl is correct. There is nothing wrong with starting a sentence with the word "because" so long as it is a complete sentence, usually a complex one. (e.g. Because I forgot my cell phone, I was not able to contact my date. - sounds a little formal, but completely grammatically correct). I actually use this method to teach Cause and Effect to my 5th graders and I tell him this in my most condescending, superior tone. Anyway, this guy continues to argue with me about how it's not correct and he's not going to accept it. It makes me mad that people like him are allowed to teach.

So after this debate (my second grammatical conversation in 2 days.) I was done. The date had gone on long enough, and I was ready to go home. The goodbye was awkward, and I could tell he wanted to kiss me, and there was no way that was happening. I hugged him goodbye and I thought he was going to kiss me on the cheek, but he moved in for the kill and got me on the lips. I must have pulled back so fast, it was no more than a peck. This guy was trying way too hard. So, then he says "If you're every in Jersey, we should hang out." (He lives in North Jersey) to which I reply, "Um, I'm often in Jersey, but never in North Jerz." Him:"Oh, well then we can go to AC together and get a room!" Me: (Horrified by this thought) ... silence... silence... Him: Or maybe not.

I wished him a safe trip home, and walked away. Because this date went so bad from the beginning, there is no chance for this guy.