I apologize for the incoherence of this blog in advance. It is being written at almost 11pm at night, going on only 2 and a half hours of sleep from the night before.
I've been really "good" lately, and I've started getting up at 5am and going to the gym in the morning before work. I enjoy going to the gym super early for a few reasons. 1. It's never crowded. 2. It's a good way to start your day 3. I find I have more energy during the day. 4... Ok, so anyway, I was planning on going to bed last night REALLY early. Like in the 9's early. I got a phone call around 9:30, from the Israeli. Which was a little strange because he called me on Monday night, so I really didn't expect to hear from him on Tuesday too. He was home early from a work event, and asked if I wanted to come over. I had a brief internal struggle that was something along the lines of what is more important - sleep or sex? I went over to his apartment.
I got to his place around 10. I knew getting there so late, the earliest I'd be in bed would be around midnight, which would still put me at 5 hours of sleep, which isn't bad. Nothing significant happened between the hours of 10-12. We made out, read more of the book (which is taking FOREVER to finish. It's not a long book.), and chatted while he made his lunch for the next day. We were in bed around 12, but neither of us were really tired. I don't know why I wasn't, I only had 5 hours of sleep the night before too. But I just wasn't sleepy. We stayed up and had some pretty serious talks, ones that we haven't really had since before he told me that he was leaving in May. Most of it is not really all that interesting, but there was one part that made me sad, and happy, and angry all at once. I'll transcribe it as best I can...
Israeli: You know, sometimes I wish I didn't have a family I was close to.
Me: Why not?
Israeli: Because, you know. I miss them a lot, and I want to live near them, but if I didn't have any family I could live whereever.
Me: Like where?
Israeli: Like here. I could stay here. With you. And you could be home.
Me: (caught off guard - putting up my guard at the same time) That's nice but you have your family, and you can't stay here...
Israeli: I know.
Wow, I am so sweet aren't I? A boy says probably one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me in a long time... and I just bring it right back down. It was a weird moment. We were up really late. We finally fell asleep around 2:30, I got up at 5. I'm exhausted - but last night was a night like we haven't had in a long time.
Just for timeline sake, I've been dating the acupuncturist for over a month now and it will be 4 weeks with the Israeli on Friday. These have been the longest running datees for a while now, with no imminent end (with the exception of a quickly approaching May) in sight.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Distraction
I am supposed to be writing a paper for grad school tonight. It is due on Tuesday, and I've barely started. I don't want to have to take a day off right after a week of vacation because I haven't finished it... So it would be in my best interest to be working on this paper all day today and tomorrow - which was my full intention.
The day started off not very productive though. I slept until almost noon, which is completely out of character for me. I had been up kind of late the night before, but not late enough to really warrant sleeping until the afternoon. As soon as I got up, I was planning on getting started with no distractions. I am having a complete block though when it comes to writing this paper, and around 4, I decided to start cleaning up the living room because my roommate was having friends over tonight and the place was a bit of a mess. Not 10 minutes after I start cleaning, my phone rings, and it's the acupuncturist. He had some Chinese New Year's celebration thing that he was doing in Chinatown today, and was only a few stops away on the F. He asked if I wanted to get together for a little bit, and being the procrastinator that I am, of course I decided to go. I shoved the rest of the mess that was out in the living room into my bedroom (not that you can tell the difference - my bedroom looks like my closets threw up all over my room.) I rushed to shower and get dress, and went to meet the acupuncturist around 4:30. We walked down to the tea lounge, but it was very crowded and there were no seats. So we tried a little further down at Sweet Melissa's... again, very crowded and no seats. We walked up Court St, and he wanted to stop into the middle eastern music store, which was fine. Everything though was in Arabic and I couldn't read or understand a thing. We decided to continue walking up Court to Montague St. to try to find a cafe there that was a little less crowded. Since the acupuncturist had been on his feet all day, he really was itching to find a place to sit. We managed to get a table at a nice cafe on Montague, and we sat and talked. I must have been stressing about the paper, because I was finding it hard to focus on the conversation, and I must have seemed distracted to him. I am not usually at a loss for things to talk about with the acupuncturist, and usually we have no trouble making conversation. Tonight however was not like that. After we left the coffee shop, we walked briefly (and without any conversation) over to the promenade, but I was cold and antsy to get home. He offered to walk me back to Bergen St. which was nice, but I was kind of tired of walking in silence. He probably would have been offended though if I had said, no thanks - I can walk by myself... So we walked back, most of the way in silence, or him talking and me barely paying attention - my mind was in a million different places. I felt bad - but I just wasn't in the dating mindset. We parted at the subway stop, he kissed me goodbye, and that was it. I feel kind of lousy with how I was acting on the date. Lately in general I've been having a hard time focusing on anything, and it's kind of starting to freak me out. Adult ADD? Or maybe I've just spread myself too thin amongst too many people and there is too much going on for me to focus on just one.
The day started off not very productive though. I slept until almost noon, which is completely out of character for me. I had been up kind of late the night before, but not late enough to really warrant sleeping until the afternoon. As soon as I got up, I was planning on getting started with no distractions. I am having a complete block though when it comes to writing this paper, and around 4, I decided to start cleaning up the living room because my roommate was having friends over tonight and the place was a bit of a mess. Not 10 minutes after I start cleaning, my phone rings, and it's the acupuncturist. He had some Chinese New Year's celebration thing that he was doing in Chinatown today, and was only a few stops away on the F. He asked if I wanted to get together for a little bit, and being the procrastinator that I am, of course I decided to go. I shoved the rest of the mess that was out in the living room into my bedroom (not that you can tell the difference - my bedroom looks like my closets threw up all over my room.) I rushed to shower and get dress, and went to meet the acupuncturist around 4:30. We walked down to the tea lounge, but it was very crowded and there were no seats. So we tried a little further down at Sweet Melissa's... again, very crowded and no seats. We walked up Court St, and he wanted to stop into the middle eastern music store, which was fine. Everything though was in Arabic and I couldn't read or understand a thing. We decided to continue walking up Court to Montague St. to try to find a cafe there that was a little less crowded. Since the acupuncturist had been on his feet all day, he really was itching to find a place to sit. We managed to get a table at a nice cafe on Montague, and we sat and talked. I must have been stressing about the paper, because I was finding it hard to focus on the conversation, and I must have seemed distracted to him. I am not usually at a loss for things to talk about with the acupuncturist, and usually we have no trouble making conversation. Tonight however was not like that. After we left the coffee shop, we walked briefly (and without any conversation) over to the promenade, but I was cold and antsy to get home. He offered to walk me back to Bergen St. which was nice, but I was kind of tired of walking in silence. He probably would have been offended though if I had said, no thanks - I can walk by myself... So we walked back, most of the way in silence, or him talking and me barely paying attention - my mind was in a million different places. I felt bad - but I just wasn't in the dating mindset. We parted at the subway stop, he kissed me goodbye, and that was it. I feel kind of lousy with how I was acting on the date. Lately in general I've been having a hard time focusing on anything, and it's kind of starting to freak me out. Adult ADD? Or maybe I've just spread myself too thin amongst too many people and there is too much going on for me to focus on just one.
Missing Me
With the exception of happy hour on Tuesday night and last night, I realized that my entire vacation was spent in the company of boys.
Thursday I spent the majority of the day in the library, supposed to be doing my paper that is due on Tuesday. But really I was alternating between not wanting to see the Israeli and being really mad that I hadn't heard from him since I dropped him off on Monday after our trip to AC - and really I was chalking it up to I would probably not hear from him anytime this week.
After I wasted about 4 hours in the library, supposedly working, I was packing up my stuff getting ready to go home to go out for dinner - when who should call? The Israeli of course. I just made plans for dinner, and I felt ok at that point about not seeing the Israeli. He must have sensed it, and called. He asked me if I wanted to come over after his Hillel event that night, and because I'm a sucker... I said yes. I had plans to see another friend very early the next morning, so I had to reschedule that for later in the afternoon. As I realized that my schedule was jam packed for at least the next 24 hours, I wished that I hadn't wasted those 4 hours at the library doing absolutely nothing.
Dinner was nice. It was good to see an old friend and catch up after many years. I was home around 9:30, with just enough time to hang out with my roommate a bit and get ready before I was supposed to see the Israeli at 10. He was supposed to call me around 10 when his event was over. By 11:30 when he still hadn't called, I was irritated. There is nothing I hate more than waiting around for someone to call, when I could be doing other things... like sleeping. So finally, at 11:30 - I called him. He was still at Hillel, and I can't be mad, because he did say sometime AFTER 10... which 11:30 is clearly after 10. I would have liked a phone call or text to let me know that it was going to be MUCH after 10, but I guess I can't be that picky with a guy I'm only kind of, sort of dating. I picked him up from Hillel to save the time he would've had to spend walking home and me waiting at his apartment. A good deal for both of us. For it being so late, he was wide awake and full of energy when I came to get him. We went back to his place and hung out talking, reading, watching some tv, making out and stuff. It's funny because when I don't see him for a few days, I don't think much about it, but he's always telling me how much he misses me. He doesn't call me or let me know in any way that he misses me. But it's always one of the first thing he says is that he missed me.
I think the problem is since he is leaving in a few months, I am trying my hardest to find things about that I don't like which in turn keeps me from REALLY liking him. So I spend a lot of time fixating on his "Israelisms" which are a complete turn off for me. Which doesn't make for a very good relationship right now, because it's a hard task to fixate so much on the things you don't like about a person when you are trying to have any sort of relationship with them.
Thursday night was really fun, and I had a great time as usual... but the little things are creeping up on me all the time. I really don't know how he feels about any of this, I doubt he even thinks about it. Well, except for the fact that he is always missing me. Ha.
Thursday I spent the majority of the day in the library, supposed to be doing my paper that is due on Tuesday. But really I was alternating between not wanting to see the Israeli and being really mad that I hadn't heard from him since I dropped him off on Monday after our trip to AC - and really I was chalking it up to I would probably not hear from him anytime this week.
After I wasted about 4 hours in the library, supposedly working, I was packing up my stuff getting ready to go home to go out for dinner - when who should call? The Israeli of course. I just made plans for dinner, and I felt ok at that point about not seeing the Israeli. He must have sensed it, and called. He asked me if I wanted to come over after his Hillel event that night, and because I'm a sucker... I said yes. I had plans to see another friend very early the next morning, so I had to reschedule that for later in the afternoon. As I realized that my schedule was jam packed for at least the next 24 hours, I wished that I hadn't wasted those 4 hours at the library doing absolutely nothing.
Dinner was nice. It was good to see an old friend and catch up after many years. I was home around 9:30, with just enough time to hang out with my roommate a bit and get ready before I was supposed to see the Israeli at 10. He was supposed to call me around 10 when his event was over. By 11:30 when he still hadn't called, I was irritated. There is nothing I hate more than waiting around for someone to call, when I could be doing other things... like sleeping. So finally, at 11:30 - I called him. He was still at Hillel, and I can't be mad, because he did say sometime AFTER 10... which 11:30 is clearly after 10. I would have liked a phone call or text to let me know that it was going to be MUCH after 10, but I guess I can't be that picky with a guy I'm only kind of, sort of dating. I picked him up from Hillel to save the time he would've had to spend walking home and me waiting at his apartment. A good deal for both of us. For it being so late, he was wide awake and full of energy when I came to get him. We went back to his place and hung out talking, reading, watching some tv, making out and stuff. It's funny because when I don't see him for a few days, I don't think much about it, but he's always telling me how much he misses me. He doesn't call me or let me know in any way that he misses me. But it's always one of the first thing he says is that he missed me.
I think the problem is since he is leaving in a few months, I am trying my hardest to find things about that I don't like which in turn keeps me from REALLY liking him. So I spend a lot of time fixating on his "Israelisms" which are a complete turn off for me. Which doesn't make for a very good relationship right now, because it's a hard task to fixate so much on the things you don't like about a person when you are trying to have any sort of relationship with them.
Thursday night was really fun, and I had a great time as usual... but the little things are creeping up on me all the time. I really don't know how he feels about any of this, I doubt he even thinks about it. Well, except for the fact that he is always missing me. Ha.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Days like these...
Today felt like it was never going to end. First, I had plans to go see a movie with the college kid and every time I make plans with him, I seem to forget that he is the epitome of social awkwardness and I regret it as soon as I get there. I really wanted to see this movie, and no one else had off this entire week... so I made plans with him. I was meeting up with the acupuncturist at 8 in the village, so I figured we'd go to the movie, maybe grab a bite to eat. No harm, no foul. Never again. Seriously. I don't think I can be friends with this kid. It is PAINFUL having conversation with him and trying to have normal interactions. He's that guy on the subway who doesn't realize how loud he's talking and I noticed today that he kind of talks like a robot. It's all very monotone with very little inflection. He also brought up the autism and tourette's syndrome a couple of times, which just made me uncomfortable. And even snuck in some meds not very conspicuously. The movie was great though, I liked it a lot, and I'm glad I got to see it. Although I did have to spend the entire time making sure I sat with my body turned away from him, displaying very closed body language, so he didn't try anything funny. After the movie, it was quite a nice afternoon, and we walked around SoHo and the Village before deciding on a place to eat. It was fine except I did spend a lot of time trying to walk away from him, and ignoring most of the conversation he was making (poorly), and just trying to enjoy the almost spring-like weather. At dinner he asked me how I felt about him, which I thought I made clear last time when I said I wanted to be friends. So I told him I thought he was nice. I don't know, what am I supposed to say - that I think he's weird and makes me uncomfortable just to be in his presence. I think he got the hint though. He kept asking me why I had an online ad up if I didn't have anytime to date. Should I have said that I just didn't want to date him, and if I really liked him I would make/find the time? At one point during the meal, he put his head in his hands and just sat there with his eyes closed for about 5 minutes. I was wondering if he had fallen asleep or was crying. Either way, I was extremely uncomfortable. After dinner, I made it clear that I was not going to hang out with him any longer, even though I had 2 hours almost until I was meeting the acupuncturist. I hung out at Barnes and Noble and a small independent bookstore, and the acupuncturist met me there.
Now, I am of the belief that awful things happen to me before my dates with the acupuncturist to make me appreciate my dates with him more (Last time the Israeli told me he was leaving in 4 months). I'm not saying that he's not a really nice guy, because he is. However, if I didn't consistently have bad experiences before my dates with him, I don't know if I would be as into him. Spending the afternoon with the college kid made me really really appreciate the time I spent tonight with the acupuncturist. First, I was grateful to have non-awkward conversation. And that is a stretch for the acupuncturist as well, because he too is shy and socially awkward... just not socially inept like the kid.
The date with the acupuncturist was great, we met up at a small independent bookstore that we went to on our last date. We went from there to a cafe in the Village where we had tea and dessert. It was really nice. We sat and talked for hours. We were the last ones to leave the cafe at 11. We then walked over to Washington Square Park, where we sat on a bench for a while, kissing and such. It was nice, but it was really cold. It wasn't so cold out, but when you're sitting in one spot for a while, it gets cold pretty quickly. But we manage to stay out for about half an hour. We walked to train, kissed some more, and then went our separate ways. I'm sure I will see him again, but I'd like it if nothing atrocious happened to me prior so I could get a good grasp on how I really feel about him. The thing is, I think I could continue dating him for a long time. But at the same time, I can't see it going anywhere really serious. I could see myself casually dating him for as long as he's going to allow it, and have a good time the entire time. I don't think it will progress any further in seriousness though.
Now, I am of the belief that awful things happen to me before my dates with the acupuncturist to make me appreciate my dates with him more (Last time the Israeli told me he was leaving in 4 months). I'm not saying that he's not a really nice guy, because he is. However, if I didn't consistently have bad experiences before my dates with him, I don't know if I would be as into him. Spending the afternoon with the college kid made me really really appreciate the time I spent tonight with the acupuncturist. First, I was grateful to have non-awkward conversation. And that is a stretch for the acupuncturist as well, because he too is shy and socially awkward... just not socially inept like the kid.
The date with the acupuncturist was great, we met up at a small independent bookstore that we went to on our last date. We went from there to a cafe in the Village where we had tea and dessert. It was really nice. We sat and talked for hours. We were the last ones to leave the cafe at 11. We then walked over to Washington Square Park, where we sat on a bench for a while, kissing and such. It was nice, but it was really cold. It wasn't so cold out, but when you're sitting in one spot for a while, it gets cold pretty quickly. But we manage to stay out for about half an hour. We walked to train, kissed some more, and then went our separate ways. I'm sure I will see him again, but I'd like it if nothing atrocious happened to me prior so I could get a good grasp on how I really feel about him. The thing is, I think I could continue dating him for a long time. But at the same time, I can't see it going anywhere really serious. I could see myself casually dating him for as long as he's going to allow it, and have a good time the entire time. I don't think it will progress any further in seriousness though.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Next year, I will spend President's Day by myself.
Everything changes so quickly that it is difficult to pinpoint the exact moment where I decided that this just wasn't fun anymore. I had an interesting weekend with the Israeli that included a weekend trip, 48 hours straight together, and him meeting my parents.
My mom called me on Friday morning and told me that she and my father had gotten a hotel room in Atlantic City for the weekend, and then they decided that they didn't want it for both nights. She asked me if I wanted it for the second night (Sunday into Monday). The Israeli had mentioned to me on one of our first dates that he really wanted to go to Atlantic City, so my initial response was to invite him to go with me. I didn't really consider at the time what kind of message this was sending to him, or to myself, or to my parents... Here I was, just wanting to do something nice for the guy, and I didn't stop to think that inviting someone to go away with you for the weekend is a BFD (Big F'n Deal). Last year, on this very same weekend/week, I made the same catastrophic error with my ex. It was one year ago yesterday (President's Day just must be a bad day for me), where we had the most miserable day I think two people on vacation in Jamaica ever had. But it was all because it was way too soon, and we had spent way too much time together, and we didn't really know/understand the other... You would think I would learn from my mistakes. But I am jumping way ahead of myself...
The Israeli was very excited about the prospects of going to Atlantic City, he text messaged me back as soon as he got my message, telling me how I made his weekend. He called me while I was still teaching on Friday, and I called him back as soon as I got home. He was going to some overnight orthodox shabbat thing at Hillel, but wanted me to come over Saturday night and spend the night. So we could leave early on Sunday, I was thinking, sure it made perfect sense. He called me Saturday as soon as he left his Shabbaton thing, and wanted me to come over right away. I was doing some homework so I wouldn't be behind on grad school stuff if I took the 2 days off, and told him I'd be over later around 8 or so. I got caught up talking with my roommate and neighbor and didn't end up getting to his place until after 9. He called a few times to see where I was, he was REALLY anxious for me to get there.
Things were nice when I first got there, he seemed really happy to see me, and as it had been almost a week, he was all over me from the second I walked in the door. He also decided we needed to discuss further "about us." He asked me if I was planning on moving to Israel... um, nope. Not anytime in the near future that I'm planning. So, he decided that since this relationship can't go anywhere serious, he wants to have a semi-open relationship. I am not sure what that is, but what we decided is that if he is going to date someone else, he needs to tell me about it. In fairness to him, I told him about the acupuncturist, and he didn't really care. This kind of pissed me off, but I asked him if he really wasn't bothered by it, and he replied with, what do you want me to say? I can't do anything about it... Fair enough. So, we had dinner and watched tv, and I still had to do some reading for class. I took my book and went into the bedroom to read it. Mistake, I had fallen asleep before I knew it. I woke up slightly groggily around 1 am, to hear the Israeli on the phone. I wasn't sure who he was talking to, but it was someone who didn't speak Hebrew because he was speaking all in English. I could hear that he was making plans to go visit this person over Passover, and he seemed to be very excited to go wherever this person is. I couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl at first, but by the conversation, I could tell that it was someone probably about our age. Then, he made some comment about the person he was talking to being a girl... so then I knew... and I was mad. But then he made a comment about how he was going to Atlantic City that weekend, and of course the person asked who he was going with. He hesitated when he said, Oh.. a friend. So I was mad already, but that pushed me over into really mad. Really really mad. Ok, it was one thing to be making plans to go visit someone, but to be making plans to go visit a girl, while I am asleep in HIS bed, and a few hours earlier he defintely wasn't treating me as just a friend. That was just too much for me. I was raging angry. Like heart pounding, fist clenching angry. I waited until he got off the phone with her, and then stayed in bed for a few minutes longer, because I wasn't sure what I was going to do next. Should I just get my things and storm out.. or should I confront him, or should I take the passive way out, and tell him I want to leave because I didn't feel well. The latter won. I came out of the bedroom, and he was very surprised to see me awake, but didn't seem guilty of anything. I was cold on top of being angry, and I told him that I didn't feel well, and I wanted to go home. Because of the cold and the anger, I was actually shaking, and not really portraying great motor skills. He didn't want me to drive home in that state, and kept trying to convince me to stay. He was very sympathetic, offering to make me tea, and came and wrapped a blanket around me. It was all very sweet, but I was so mad that I didn't care. Thankfully, Debbie sent me a text message on her way home from a date, so I knew she was up and I could call her. I called her from his bedroom, and sort of managed to get the story out in whispers and a lot of "uh-huh, yeah, no" one word responses that wouldn't clue him in to what I was upset about. Debbie convinced me that I should stay and figure out what was going on with the other girl, and not to give up a fun weekend down the shore for this. I had to agree, it would have been silly. The Israeli was great for the rest of the night, he had me switch sides of the bed with him so I slept on his side, and was more affectionate than he had been in previous nights.
In the morning, it seemed all was fine, until he asked me what I was doing the week of Passover. All the sudden, it all came crashing back to me, and I was angry all over again. I told him I didn't know yet, probably just going to my parents' house or something, and of course... I had to reciprocate the question. I held my breath, just anticipating what he was going to say. He said, oh I think I'm going to go to San Francisco. Oh really? I responded, who do you know out there? He replied without hesitation, Oh, my mother's cousin lives out there, I'm going to stay with her for the week. Oh. well. Aren't I the biggest idiot ever?? I went back and forth over that a couple of times, to figure out if he was lying or leaving something out, and it just didn't seem like it. He brought it up, he told me without me having to coerce it out of him. So again, I jumped to the wrong conclusion, and worked myself up over nothing.
We made it down the shore uneventfully, and met up with my parents for a late lunch/early dinner in the hotel. I had such a headache from the night before, and just wanted some time to myself, so as soon as we got there, I locked myself in the bathroom and left the Israeli with my mom for about 10 minutes. My dad came back with lunch/dinner not long after that, and the four of us ate in the hotel, and it was a little weird, but not too bad. I wanted to pick up a bottle of wine for later, and hadn't thought to stop along the way, so I decided to talk a walk up to the liquor store 2 blocks away from the hotel. I asked the Israeli to come with, but he preferred to stay in the hotel with my parents, so I let him. I felt a little strange leaving him there, but at that point I had been with him for almost 24 hours straight, and was grateful for the time alone.
After my parents left, we went down to the casinos to do some gambling. I won $60 on roulette, and he lost $50. We only stayed for a hour or so, because I could tell he wasn't really having fun, and casinos make me a little anxious anyway. All the bells and whistles, the lights and extra oxygen. It makes me a little stir crazy. We walked along the boardwalk, but AC in the winter is dead. Not to mention it was a Sunday night, so there was no one out... nothing to do. We walked on the beach for a little bit, and then went back to the room. I read from Oracle Night for a bit, and he started to doze off. The hotel had one of those huge jacuzzi bathtubs (the bathroom was bigger than my bedroom last year - I know that doesn't say a lot.. but still. it was huge), and I was dying for a bath. So, I let the Israeli sleep/watch tv, and I took a long luxurious bath. After a while though, I felt bad that I kept leaving him, so I invited him to the bath with me. We spent a while relaxing in the bath, and then went to bed. And even though it was a very intimate night, nothing physical at all happened. I don't know if it was because we were both tired or just tired of each other, but I wasn't feeling it, and from what I could tell, he wasn't either.
The morning was nice, we woke up about an hour before we had to get up, and spent time in bed. I read more from the book, and eventually, I got up and showered/dressed while he slept until just before we had to check out. We went to breakfast, and then to the outlet shops in downtown Atlantic City. During the course of the day, his Israeli side came out... and I remembered why I always said I didn't want to date an Israeli. We shopped for a while, and then out of nowhere, I was exhausted, and ready to be home and didn't even want to have a 3 hour car ride back with him to the city. He wanted to go to the liquor store before we left to pick up some stuff to bring back to his apartment (note: this was the same store I had gone to the day before and if he had wanted to come with me then, we would have to stop twice.) and then to the dollar store next door. I was at the point where I was just irritated, and the liquor store and dollar store in Atlantic City held just about every kind of mid-day drunk and delinquent. I was so ready to leave.
No sooner do we get 1o miles on the Parkway back to the city, do we get stopped in a 3 mile backup from an overturned car. An extra half an hour onto the trip. Grr. We had some good discussions on the way back, but he was being arrogant and ignorant at the same time. He wanted to argue with me the state of education and welfare in the country, but really had no basis or background knowledge to talk about it. He made me so mad at one point I told him he could either stop talking or I would pull over the car and he could walk the rest of the way back on the parkway. He stopped, for the most part. When we finally got back to Brooklyn, I had to drop him off at his apartment. When we were almost there, I mentioned that I was looking forward to getting Thai food for dinner. He was almost surprised when he said, Oh you don't want to go have pizza with me? As if he already mentioned that, and I was supposed to know that he wanted to have dinner with me. We had pizza on Sunday before we left Brooklyn, and to be honest, I wanted to go home. I actually turned to him at that point and said, "aren't you sick of me yet?" To which he responded, "Sick of you? of course not!" I was even sick of me at that point, and just couldn't take it anymore. I took him home and then dropped him off at Hillel, and we left it as we would talk later in the week. He leaned in to kiss me goodbye, but I just offered him my cheek. I think he really had a good time, so I feel bad that I couldn't replicate his excitement, but I think it was just way too much time together too early in the game.
I don't know what I feel about him right now. I have the week off of school and I'm seeing the acupuncturist on Weds, right after I am seeing a movie and having dinner with the college kid Wednesday afternoon. But I am really sure he knows it's just as friends at this point.
My mom called me on Friday morning and told me that she and my father had gotten a hotel room in Atlantic City for the weekend, and then they decided that they didn't want it for both nights. She asked me if I wanted it for the second night (Sunday into Monday). The Israeli had mentioned to me on one of our first dates that he really wanted to go to Atlantic City, so my initial response was to invite him to go with me. I didn't really consider at the time what kind of message this was sending to him, or to myself, or to my parents... Here I was, just wanting to do something nice for the guy, and I didn't stop to think that inviting someone to go away with you for the weekend is a BFD (Big F'n Deal). Last year, on this very same weekend/week, I made the same catastrophic error with my ex. It was one year ago yesterday (President's Day just must be a bad day for me), where we had the most miserable day I think two people on vacation in Jamaica ever had. But it was all because it was way too soon, and we had spent way too much time together, and we didn't really know/understand the other... You would think I would learn from my mistakes. But I am jumping way ahead of myself...
The Israeli was very excited about the prospects of going to Atlantic City, he text messaged me back as soon as he got my message, telling me how I made his weekend. He called me while I was still teaching on Friday, and I called him back as soon as I got home. He was going to some overnight orthodox shabbat thing at Hillel, but wanted me to come over Saturday night and spend the night. So we could leave early on Sunday, I was thinking, sure it made perfect sense. He called me Saturday as soon as he left his Shabbaton thing, and wanted me to come over right away. I was doing some homework so I wouldn't be behind on grad school stuff if I took the 2 days off, and told him I'd be over later around 8 or so. I got caught up talking with my roommate and neighbor and didn't end up getting to his place until after 9. He called a few times to see where I was, he was REALLY anxious for me to get there.
Things were nice when I first got there, he seemed really happy to see me, and as it had been almost a week, he was all over me from the second I walked in the door. He also decided we needed to discuss further "about us." He asked me if I was planning on moving to Israel... um, nope. Not anytime in the near future that I'm planning. So, he decided that since this relationship can't go anywhere serious, he wants to have a semi-open relationship. I am not sure what that is, but what we decided is that if he is going to date someone else, he needs to tell me about it. In fairness to him, I told him about the acupuncturist, and he didn't really care. This kind of pissed me off, but I asked him if he really wasn't bothered by it, and he replied with, what do you want me to say? I can't do anything about it... Fair enough. So, we had dinner and watched tv, and I still had to do some reading for class. I took my book and went into the bedroom to read it. Mistake, I had fallen asleep before I knew it. I woke up slightly groggily around 1 am, to hear the Israeli on the phone. I wasn't sure who he was talking to, but it was someone who didn't speak Hebrew because he was speaking all in English. I could hear that he was making plans to go visit this person over Passover, and he seemed to be very excited to go wherever this person is. I couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl at first, but by the conversation, I could tell that it was someone probably about our age. Then, he made some comment about the person he was talking to being a girl... so then I knew... and I was mad. But then he made a comment about how he was going to Atlantic City that weekend, and of course the person asked who he was going with. He hesitated when he said, Oh.. a friend. So I was mad already, but that pushed me over into really mad. Really really mad. Ok, it was one thing to be making plans to go visit someone, but to be making plans to go visit a girl, while I am asleep in HIS bed, and a few hours earlier he defintely wasn't treating me as just a friend. That was just too much for me. I was raging angry. Like heart pounding, fist clenching angry. I waited until he got off the phone with her, and then stayed in bed for a few minutes longer, because I wasn't sure what I was going to do next. Should I just get my things and storm out.. or should I confront him, or should I take the passive way out, and tell him I want to leave because I didn't feel well. The latter won. I came out of the bedroom, and he was very surprised to see me awake, but didn't seem guilty of anything. I was cold on top of being angry, and I told him that I didn't feel well, and I wanted to go home. Because of the cold and the anger, I was actually shaking, and not really portraying great motor skills. He didn't want me to drive home in that state, and kept trying to convince me to stay. He was very sympathetic, offering to make me tea, and came and wrapped a blanket around me. It was all very sweet, but I was so mad that I didn't care. Thankfully, Debbie sent me a text message on her way home from a date, so I knew she was up and I could call her. I called her from his bedroom, and sort of managed to get the story out in whispers and a lot of "uh-huh, yeah, no" one word responses that wouldn't clue him in to what I was upset about. Debbie convinced me that I should stay and figure out what was going on with the other girl, and not to give up a fun weekend down the shore for this. I had to agree, it would have been silly. The Israeli was great for the rest of the night, he had me switch sides of the bed with him so I slept on his side, and was more affectionate than he had been in previous nights.
In the morning, it seemed all was fine, until he asked me what I was doing the week of Passover. All the sudden, it all came crashing back to me, and I was angry all over again. I told him I didn't know yet, probably just going to my parents' house or something, and of course... I had to reciprocate the question. I held my breath, just anticipating what he was going to say. He said, oh I think I'm going to go to San Francisco. Oh really? I responded, who do you know out there? He replied without hesitation, Oh, my mother's cousin lives out there, I'm going to stay with her for the week. Oh. well. Aren't I the biggest idiot ever?? I went back and forth over that a couple of times, to figure out if he was lying or leaving something out, and it just didn't seem like it. He brought it up, he told me without me having to coerce it out of him. So again, I jumped to the wrong conclusion, and worked myself up over nothing.
We made it down the shore uneventfully, and met up with my parents for a late lunch/early dinner in the hotel. I had such a headache from the night before, and just wanted some time to myself, so as soon as we got there, I locked myself in the bathroom and left the Israeli with my mom for about 10 minutes. My dad came back with lunch/dinner not long after that, and the four of us ate in the hotel, and it was a little weird, but not too bad. I wanted to pick up a bottle of wine for later, and hadn't thought to stop along the way, so I decided to talk a walk up to the liquor store 2 blocks away from the hotel. I asked the Israeli to come with, but he preferred to stay in the hotel with my parents, so I let him. I felt a little strange leaving him there, but at that point I had been with him for almost 24 hours straight, and was grateful for the time alone.
After my parents left, we went down to the casinos to do some gambling. I won $60 on roulette, and he lost $50. We only stayed for a hour or so, because I could tell he wasn't really having fun, and casinos make me a little anxious anyway. All the bells and whistles, the lights and extra oxygen. It makes me a little stir crazy. We walked along the boardwalk, but AC in the winter is dead. Not to mention it was a Sunday night, so there was no one out... nothing to do. We walked on the beach for a little bit, and then went back to the room. I read from Oracle Night for a bit, and he started to doze off. The hotel had one of those huge jacuzzi bathtubs (the bathroom was bigger than my bedroom last year - I know that doesn't say a lot.. but still. it was huge), and I was dying for a bath. So, I let the Israeli sleep/watch tv, and I took a long luxurious bath. After a while though, I felt bad that I kept leaving him, so I invited him to the bath with me. We spent a while relaxing in the bath, and then went to bed. And even though it was a very intimate night, nothing physical at all happened. I don't know if it was because we were both tired or just tired of each other, but I wasn't feeling it, and from what I could tell, he wasn't either.
The morning was nice, we woke up about an hour before we had to get up, and spent time in bed. I read more from the book, and eventually, I got up and showered/dressed while he slept until just before we had to check out. We went to breakfast, and then to the outlet shops in downtown Atlantic City. During the course of the day, his Israeli side came out... and I remembered why I always said I didn't want to date an Israeli. We shopped for a while, and then out of nowhere, I was exhausted, and ready to be home and didn't even want to have a 3 hour car ride back with him to the city. He wanted to go to the liquor store before we left to pick up some stuff to bring back to his apartment (note: this was the same store I had gone to the day before and if he had wanted to come with me then, we would have to stop twice.) and then to the dollar store next door. I was at the point where I was just irritated, and the liquor store and dollar store in Atlantic City held just about every kind of mid-day drunk and delinquent. I was so ready to leave.
No sooner do we get 1o miles on the Parkway back to the city, do we get stopped in a 3 mile backup from an overturned car. An extra half an hour onto the trip. Grr. We had some good discussions on the way back, but he was being arrogant and ignorant at the same time. He wanted to argue with me the state of education and welfare in the country, but really had no basis or background knowledge to talk about it. He made me so mad at one point I told him he could either stop talking or I would pull over the car and he could walk the rest of the way back on the parkway. He stopped, for the most part. When we finally got back to Brooklyn, I had to drop him off at his apartment. When we were almost there, I mentioned that I was looking forward to getting Thai food for dinner. He was almost surprised when he said, Oh you don't want to go have pizza with me? As if he already mentioned that, and I was supposed to know that he wanted to have dinner with me. We had pizza on Sunday before we left Brooklyn, and to be honest, I wanted to go home. I actually turned to him at that point and said, "aren't you sick of me yet?" To which he responded, "Sick of you? of course not!" I was even sick of me at that point, and just couldn't take it anymore. I took him home and then dropped him off at Hillel, and we left it as we would talk later in the week. He leaned in to kiss me goodbye, but I just offered him my cheek. I think he really had a good time, so I feel bad that I couldn't replicate his excitement, but I think it was just way too much time together too early in the game.
I don't know what I feel about him right now. I have the week off of school and I'm seeing the acupuncturist on Weds, right after I am seeing a movie and having dinner with the college kid Wednesday afternoon. But I am really sure he knows it's just as friends at this point.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Conversation Hearts
What is Valentine's Day like in like the life of a serial dater? It was really boring, but in a good way. I was hoping for some drama, some picking and choosing. But no, the Israeli made that really easy for me last night when he called me to tell me that he doesn't celebrate Valentine's Day, and not to even expect a phone call. Ok, maybe that was not the exact reason of his call. But he did mention it.
I had already scheduled the date with the acupuncturist, who I hadn't seen in almost 3 weeks before tonight. He had told me that he'd text me today to let me know where and when we were meeting up for the date. I went into the date with very little to no expectations. Truth be told, my heart really just wasn't in it. I mean, I know I liked him before I met the Israeli, but I feel like once I met the Israeli - I couldn't fathom anything else. We were pretty intense pretty fast, so I guess it's natural that it fades that fast too.
I met up with the Acupuncturist in the Village around 7:30. It was snowy and cold, but overall a nice night. He had a dozen roses for me, again. And this time though, I was very appreciative of them right away and didn't look at them like they were alien babies like I did last time. We walked to the restaurant, a cute Italian place not far from the train. Once we got to dinner and were seated, he produced a box of Godiva chocolates as well. I was a little flustered at first. As we sat down, and I was settling with my large puffy winter coat, a dozen flowers, and my bag on the chair next to me, I turned to him, and he has a small-ish square box out in front of him, which in the dark light looked eerily like a jewelry box. He says, here this is for you too. And I sighed with relief once I realized that it was chocolates, and not something more intense. Hey, you never know from a guy who brings a dozen roses on the first date. I felt pretty guilty because I had bought him nothing. But then again, what do you buy a guy you barely know for Valentine's Day? I thanked him graciously, and that was that.
While we were waiting for dinner, I commented on how I like drawing on paper tablecloths, and was disappointed that the restaurant had not provided any drawing utensils. The acupuncturist quickly produced a pen and I began doodling and drawing all over the table. I really can be such a child sometimes. I commented on how I had never seen his handwriting, and he should write something down on the table so I could see it. He wrote down his favorite quote on the table, and has the most amazing handwriting I've ever seen. I know, that's so geeky of me, to like a guy's handwriting... but I really had never seen such beautiful handwriting just written so casually. Dinner came, we ate, talked... dinner was over, I drew on the table some more. It was nice, and I remembered why I liked him in the first place. There was one moment though, that my phone rang while we were eating dinner, where I thought briefly, oh, I wonder if that's the Israeli - and maybe he changed his mind and wants to see me tonight. It was a fleeting thought, and soon found out it was my parents calling me to thank me for the card I sent. I wish that I hadn't wanted it to be the Israeli while I was on the date with acupuncturist. But I couldn't help it, and it passed quickly.
After dinner, we walked over to a very cool bookstore I had never been to before. They had books that are basically publisher's remnants, and had books at very cheap/reasonable prices. It was a very cool store, and that alone would have made my evening - no flowers, no candy, just an awesome new bookstore for me to spend too much money in. He did corner me a bit in the bookstore and kissed me. Which was nice, and caught me a little off guard too. I had thought because of the public nature of the date, I would be free from worry about kissing him. Since the Israeli and I are still up in the air, I didn't know if what I was doing was wrong or not. I went with it, it would be too hard to explain at that point, why I couldn't kiss him. So I did, and it was nice.
We stayed at the bookstore until they closed and we walked to the train together. He took the train uptown, and I took it down. He kissed me again in the subway station, before we each parted and went our own ways.
The whole train ride home I was trying to weigh pros and cons of the acupuncturist and the Israeli. Pros for the acupuncturist - he's sweet, romantic, NOT leaving the country in 4 months... Cons for the acupuncturist - he's a bit awkward/shy in conversation, timing/scheduling conflicts (although I may be partly responsible for that on purpose...) Israeli pros - cute, funny, smart, likes to read (with me), great chemistry... ok I could go on. Cons for the Israeli - leaving in May, may only want to be my friend.
No plans with anyone yet coming up. I have the entire week off next week..Yay for mid-winter break! The college kid (mini-D) wants to hang out... I did tell him I want to be friends, he's clearly taking me up on that. He called me today too, to wish me a happy Valentine's Day. It was sweet. He's a nice kid. But that's what he is though... a kid.
I had already scheduled the date with the acupuncturist, who I hadn't seen in almost 3 weeks before tonight. He had told me that he'd text me today to let me know where and when we were meeting up for the date. I went into the date with very little to no expectations. Truth be told, my heart really just wasn't in it. I mean, I know I liked him before I met the Israeli, but I feel like once I met the Israeli - I couldn't fathom anything else. We were pretty intense pretty fast, so I guess it's natural that it fades that fast too.
I met up with the Acupuncturist in the Village around 7:30. It was snowy and cold, but overall a nice night. He had a dozen roses for me, again. And this time though, I was very appreciative of them right away and didn't look at them like they were alien babies like I did last time. We walked to the restaurant, a cute Italian place not far from the train. Once we got to dinner and were seated, he produced a box of Godiva chocolates as well. I was a little flustered at first. As we sat down, and I was settling with my large puffy winter coat, a dozen flowers, and my bag on the chair next to me, I turned to him, and he has a small-ish square box out in front of him, which in the dark light looked eerily like a jewelry box. He says, here this is for you too. And I sighed with relief once I realized that it was chocolates, and not something more intense. Hey, you never know from a guy who brings a dozen roses on the first date. I felt pretty guilty because I had bought him nothing. But then again, what do you buy a guy you barely know for Valentine's Day? I thanked him graciously, and that was that.
While we were waiting for dinner, I commented on how I like drawing on paper tablecloths, and was disappointed that the restaurant had not provided any drawing utensils. The acupuncturist quickly produced a pen and I began doodling and drawing all over the table. I really can be such a child sometimes. I commented on how I had never seen his handwriting, and he should write something down on the table so I could see it. He wrote down his favorite quote on the table, and has the most amazing handwriting I've ever seen. I know, that's so geeky of me, to like a guy's handwriting... but I really had never seen such beautiful handwriting just written so casually. Dinner came, we ate, talked... dinner was over, I drew on the table some more. It was nice, and I remembered why I liked him in the first place. There was one moment though, that my phone rang while we were eating dinner, where I thought briefly, oh, I wonder if that's the Israeli - and maybe he changed his mind and wants to see me tonight. It was a fleeting thought, and soon found out it was my parents calling me to thank me for the card I sent. I wish that I hadn't wanted it to be the Israeli while I was on the date with acupuncturist. But I couldn't help it, and it passed quickly.
After dinner, we walked over to a very cool bookstore I had never been to before. They had books that are basically publisher's remnants, and had books at very cheap/reasonable prices. It was a very cool store, and that alone would have made my evening - no flowers, no candy, just an awesome new bookstore for me to spend too much money in. He did corner me a bit in the bookstore and kissed me. Which was nice, and caught me a little off guard too. I had thought because of the public nature of the date, I would be free from worry about kissing him. Since the Israeli and I are still up in the air, I didn't know if what I was doing was wrong or not. I went with it, it would be too hard to explain at that point, why I couldn't kiss him. So I did, and it was nice.
We stayed at the bookstore until they closed and we walked to the train together. He took the train uptown, and I took it down. He kissed me again in the subway station, before we each parted and went our own ways.
The whole train ride home I was trying to weigh pros and cons of the acupuncturist and the Israeli. Pros for the acupuncturist - he's sweet, romantic, NOT leaving the country in 4 months... Cons for the acupuncturist - he's a bit awkward/shy in conversation, timing/scheduling conflicts (although I may be partly responsible for that on purpose...) Israeli pros - cute, funny, smart, likes to read (with me), great chemistry... ok I could go on. Cons for the Israeli - leaving in May, may only want to be my friend.
No plans with anyone yet coming up. I have the entire week off next week..Yay for mid-winter break! The college kid (mini-D) wants to hang out... I did tell him I want to be friends, he's clearly taking me up on that. He called me today too, to wish me a happy Valentine's Day. It was sweet. He's a nice kid. But that's what he is though... a kid.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Eggs in a Basket
About a week ago, I put all my eggs in one basket and told the Israeli that we wouldn't date anyone else, 4 days later he tells me that he's leaving sooner than he thought, and doesn't know that he wants any "responsibility" (read: commitment) his last 4 months here. I asked him what does he want to do then, about us? He didn't know. So where does that leave me?
Yesterday was the Israeli's birthday. He turned 26. It's funny because before we met he had told me that he was already 26, and on our first date, somehow the topic of birthdays came up. I told him mine was in September, and asked when his was. He told me his was in a few weeks, so I replied, Oh you'll be 27? To which he responded, no 26. He explained that since he was turning 26 so soon, he felt that he could just round up, he was almost 26 anyway. A-men to that. I completely agree... and have been guilty of the very same thing. I start rounding up my age towards the end of July. And I get grief for it from most of my friends who know about it. It's amusing that I've found someone who does the same.
Anyway, what can you do for someone that you've been dating barely a week on their birthday? Not much. He had a ski trip all day with his job anyway and did not get back to Brooklyn until late. I had gotten him a friendly card (nothing romantic at all about it), and made him a cd (how very high school of me!), also I gave him a book of mine that he had mentioned that he wanted to read and these earbud things for the headphones that I used to use, but stopped because I kept loosing the earbud piece and they hurt my ears. Anyway, he had lost one of his earbuds, and you really can't use the headphones without them. So I gave him my used ones. It was seriously the most hand-me-down birthday present I ever gave someone. He seemed to appreciate the gesture though.
I got to his apartment not until just after midnight, and he was exhausted from skiing. I gave him his gift but wasn't sure if I was going to be spending the night or not. I kept my coat and bag on the entire time I was there, while we were talking. And we talked for quite a while. I started heading over to the door, to leave, around 12:45ish, because if I wanted to get any sleep, I'd want to be home by 1. He says to me, "you know you can sleep here." I reply, "I know... but I have to get up early... and you don't." His response was that if I did sleep over we were going to SLEEP and nothing else. Ok, fine by me. So I got my clothes that I had brought with me for work the next day out of my car (I brought them just in case...), and we went to bed. We stayed up talking for a while, and then eventually we fell asleep. And, true to his word, all we did was sleep, and nothing else. I woke up early for school, and he slept in. I didn't want to wake him, so I slipped out without saying goodbye. I didn't like leaving that way, but he was sleeping and it would have been selfish of me to wake him.
The whole night felt very platonic with the exception of a few kisses, here and there. I feel like he may be pushing this further into this direction because of the whole 4 month thing. But I don't want platonic for 4 months, but I don't want to have this discussion yet either. I have no idea when I am going to see him next.
The acupuncturist called me on Sunday night, and caught me a little off guard when he asked me to go to dinner with him on Valentine's Day. I shouldn't be surprised, this coming from the guy who brought a dozen roses to our first date. I said yes, even though I knew I shouldn't. I am going to go, even though I shouldn't. But, I have no idea where the Israeli is at right now with his intentions and his feelings, so maybe I should move all those eggs I just put in one basket and re-distribute them amongst the willing participants again.
Yesterday was the Israeli's birthday. He turned 26. It's funny because before we met he had told me that he was already 26, and on our first date, somehow the topic of birthdays came up. I told him mine was in September, and asked when his was. He told me his was in a few weeks, so I replied, Oh you'll be 27? To which he responded, no 26. He explained that since he was turning 26 so soon, he felt that he could just round up, he was almost 26 anyway. A-men to that. I completely agree... and have been guilty of the very same thing. I start rounding up my age towards the end of July. And I get grief for it from most of my friends who know about it. It's amusing that I've found someone who does the same.
Anyway, what can you do for someone that you've been dating barely a week on their birthday? Not much. He had a ski trip all day with his job anyway and did not get back to Brooklyn until late. I had gotten him a friendly card (nothing romantic at all about it), and made him a cd (how very high school of me!), also I gave him a book of mine that he had mentioned that he wanted to read and these earbud things for the headphones that I used to use, but stopped because I kept loosing the earbud piece and they hurt my ears. Anyway, he had lost one of his earbuds, and you really can't use the headphones without them. So I gave him my used ones. It was seriously the most hand-me-down birthday present I ever gave someone. He seemed to appreciate the gesture though.
I got to his apartment not until just after midnight, and he was exhausted from skiing. I gave him his gift but wasn't sure if I was going to be spending the night or not. I kept my coat and bag on the entire time I was there, while we were talking. And we talked for quite a while. I started heading over to the door, to leave, around 12:45ish, because if I wanted to get any sleep, I'd want to be home by 1. He says to me, "you know you can sleep here." I reply, "I know... but I have to get up early... and you don't." His response was that if I did sleep over we were going to SLEEP and nothing else. Ok, fine by me. So I got my clothes that I had brought with me for work the next day out of my car (I brought them just in case...), and we went to bed. We stayed up talking for a while, and then eventually we fell asleep. And, true to his word, all we did was sleep, and nothing else. I woke up early for school, and he slept in. I didn't want to wake him, so I slipped out without saying goodbye. I didn't like leaving that way, but he was sleeping and it would have been selfish of me to wake him.
The whole night felt very platonic with the exception of a few kisses, here and there. I feel like he may be pushing this further into this direction because of the whole 4 month thing. But I don't want platonic for 4 months, but I don't want to have this discussion yet either. I have no idea when I am going to see him next.
The acupuncturist called me on Sunday night, and caught me a little off guard when he asked me to go to dinner with him on Valentine's Day. I shouldn't be surprised, this coming from the guy who brought a dozen roses to our first date. I said yes, even though I knew I shouldn't. I am going to go, even though I shouldn't. But, I have no idea where the Israeli is at right now with his intentions and his feelings, so maybe I should move all those eggs I just put in one basket and re-distribute them amongst the willing participants again.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
If You Had Only 4 Months...
What is the biggest deciding factor if a relationship is "worth it" or not? Is it the amount of time you have with the person. If you have an undetermined amount of time, that time could be 4 dates, 4 months, 4 years... You just don't know. But if you knew, and you knew for sure that it was only going to be 4 months, is it worth it?
The Israeli found out on Thursday that he is not being kept on at his job another year as he expected. So instead of having 1 year and 4 months to see where things go, we will only have 4 months. I went over to his apartment late last night after I got back from seeing my best friend's piano concert in West Chester. I knew the Israeli would be at his friend's party, and he had originally told me that I could come right to his apartment and he'd give me the combination and show me where the extra key was so I could get inside. I decided it would be best for me to go home to my apartment first, so I could unload my car and such, and then I'd just drive over when he was on his way home from the party. I ended up getting to Brooklyn around 12:30, and he was still at the party, so I took a short nap on the couch until I heard from him. I finally heard from him that he was on his way home around 2:30, and I got to his apartment around 3ish. We talked for a bit, and everything seemed to be ok. He seemed really glad to see me after only a few days.
Since it was already so late, we went to bed fairly early. We made out as usual and he fell asleep almost immediately - which is rare for him. I, however, was wide awake from the nap I had taken, and could not fall asleep. I tossed and turned for a while, and maybe finally drifted off to sleep around 5:30. I had noticed that the Israeli was not being as intimate while we were sleeping. He was definitely sleeping on the other side of the bed, with his back towards me, and did not try to cuddle or anything. At night, I chalked this up to the fact that he had been drinking; and although he was not drunk, he was not sober either. I know after I've been drinking, I don't like lying with someone else. After only a few hours of sleep, I woke up again, and the Israeli was still sleeping, still far away from me. I was contemplating whether or not I should just go home, and let him sleep off whatever it was that was bothering him. Whether it was something physically wrong, or something was on his mind, I could tell he was acting different. It's strange that even after spending only one week with someone, you become so attuned to their mannerisms that when something is off, it's apparent. He woke up around 9:30ish and we fooled around for a bit, and it seemed like all had been forgotten. Maybe he had just drank too much the night before. He went back to sleep, and since I was now wide awake, I got out a book that I had to read for class. I read for a while, and he went back to his strange sleeping positing. Further away than before. I let him be for a while, and then after about an hour, I could tell he was stirring, so I cuddled up to him. He turned to me, and said, "I just had the worst dream." I asked him what it was, and he told me that it was 4 months from now, and he was leaving to go back to Israel and everyone was so sad. I replied with a sympathetic, "hmmm..." and rubbed his back. But as I thought about it, I said to him, "But that's silly, you're not leaving in 4 months." He hesitated, and then proceeded to tell me how he found out on Thursday that he was not asked to come back for another year next year and he will be going home to Israel in May. My heart sank. Of course, the first time I feel like I have everything that I want... there has to be a condition. It can never be easy. We talked about for a long time after that, whether it makes sense to stay together for 4 months, but neither of us want to end things now. I don't know what is going to happen, I told him I want to take it day by day. He said that he doesn't want me to miss out on meeting someone better in the next 4 months, and I told him that I wasn't going to be looking anyway... So, we didn't come to any agreement. A lot can happen in 4 months, and a lot can change. I'm hoping for something to make this situation easier... maybe he can find a job here or something, wishful thinking on my part. But I'm not going to give up something just because it may end in 4 months.
The Israeli found out on Thursday that he is not being kept on at his job another year as he expected. So instead of having 1 year and 4 months to see where things go, we will only have 4 months. I went over to his apartment late last night after I got back from seeing my best friend's piano concert in West Chester. I knew the Israeli would be at his friend's party, and he had originally told me that I could come right to his apartment and he'd give me the combination and show me where the extra key was so I could get inside. I decided it would be best for me to go home to my apartment first, so I could unload my car and such, and then I'd just drive over when he was on his way home from the party. I ended up getting to Brooklyn around 12:30, and he was still at the party, so I took a short nap on the couch until I heard from him. I finally heard from him that he was on his way home around 2:30, and I got to his apartment around 3ish. We talked for a bit, and everything seemed to be ok. He seemed really glad to see me after only a few days.
Since it was already so late, we went to bed fairly early. We made out as usual and he fell asleep almost immediately - which is rare for him. I, however, was wide awake from the nap I had taken, and could not fall asleep. I tossed and turned for a while, and maybe finally drifted off to sleep around 5:30. I had noticed that the Israeli was not being as intimate while we were sleeping. He was definitely sleeping on the other side of the bed, with his back towards me, and did not try to cuddle or anything. At night, I chalked this up to the fact that he had been drinking; and although he was not drunk, he was not sober either. I know after I've been drinking, I don't like lying with someone else. After only a few hours of sleep, I woke up again, and the Israeli was still sleeping, still far away from me. I was contemplating whether or not I should just go home, and let him sleep off whatever it was that was bothering him. Whether it was something physically wrong, or something was on his mind, I could tell he was acting different. It's strange that even after spending only one week with someone, you become so attuned to their mannerisms that when something is off, it's apparent. He woke up around 9:30ish and we fooled around for a bit, and it seemed like all had been forgotten. Maybe he had just drank too much the night before. He went back to sleep, and since I was now wide awake, I got out a book that I had to read for class. I read for a while, and he went back to his strange sleeping positing. Further away than before. I let him be for a while, and then after about an hour, I could tell he was stirring, so I cuddled up to him. He turned to me, and said, "I just had the worst dream." I asked him what it was, and he told me that it was 4 months from now, and he was leaving to go back to Israel and everyone was so sad. I replied with a sympathetic, "hmmm..." and rubbed his back. But as I thought about it, I said to him, "But that's silly, you're not leaving in 4 months." He hesitated, and then proceeded to tell me how he found out on Thursday that he was not asked to come back for another year next year and he will be going home to Israel in May. My heart sank. Of course, the first time I feel like I have everything that I want... there has to be a condition. It can never be easy. We talked about for a long time after that, whether it makes sense to stay together for 4 months, but neither of us want to end things now. I don't know what is going to happen, I told him I want to take it day by day. He said that he doesn't want me to miss out on meeting someone better in the next 4 months, and I told him that I wasn't going to be looking anyway... So, we didn't come to any agreement. A lot can happen in 4 months, and a lot can change. I'm hoping for something to make this situation easier... maybe he can find a job here or something, wishful thinking on my part. But I'm not going to give up something just because it may end in 4 months.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Ma Nishma
Ma nishma is Hebrew for what's up? It's just the beginning of my newest endeavor of trying to improve my Hebrew. The Israeli likes to speak to me sometimes in Hebrew, and I'd like to have a clue as to what he's saying...
Last night was date number 3 with the Israeli, but to be honest it could have been date number 20 for how comfortable we are around each other. We met up at Union Hall in Park Slope around 8:30, but it was ridiculously packed. We decided we'd be better off at the tea lounge where we could actually sit and talk. We walked over to the Tea Lounge and found a large comfy couch to share, just the two of us. I went to get us some hot beverages, and while I was gone, he was composing some sort of logic riddles for me to solve. It's fun, and it's definitely something different. I worked out both of the problems with a little help from him, but I managed to do both, which is better than last time. Then he asked me what I wanted to do about us? I wasn't sure what he was talking about, but then I realized that he was having the DTR... So, he said he wasn't interested in dating anyone else, and I'm ready at this point to agree. So, we're not dating anyone else, but I'm not comfortable just yet calling him my boyfriend. The plan at the tea lounge was to read more of Oracle Night but neither of us were in the mood, so we read The New Yorker instead, not out loud, but together. However, he was confused by one of the articles, and I wasn't articulate enough to explain it correctly. He was a little put off by The New Yorker, so I continued to read while he worked on his laptop. We were very at ease just being together, each doing our own thing, like this was something we did all the time, not like a 3rd date at all.
At around 10:30 we decided it was probably getting late, and since I had to work today, we should get going. Since both dates prior had been sleepover dates, I had already figured what trains I'd need to take to get to work, wore something appropriate that if I had to wear it to school no one would notice, and brought a toothbrush. He offered to come back to my place with me and stay over here, but since I had already done all the logistical work and he doesn't have a roommate, it works out better to go there. I knew that we could pick up the Q on 7th Ave, but I wasn't sure where the stop was... so we walked up to Flatbush (which apparently is where the stop is, somehow we missed it!) and ended up walking all the way to the Atlantic Terminal! Which now that I know how close we were, we could have saved a lot of travel time! Regardless, about an hour later we finally got back to his apartment. Actually, it was more like an hour and a half, as it was around midnight I remember checking when we got into his apartment. We warmed up with some tea, and the Israeli fixed the beds in the bedroom so that they weren't like 2 twin beds pushed together. The last time, there were these huge gaps between the mattresses and one of us inevitably ended up falling in it. So, he fixed the bed, we warmed up, and went to bed.
It was probably around 1:30 by the time we went to sleep, which is really late for a school night for me. The alarms were set for around 6:15, so I could get to school without being late. I had no idea how long the train would take in the morning, so I figured I'd have to leave no later than 7:10 to get there by 8:15. The alarms went off, and we snoozed until almost 7 am, I rushed to get dressed and brush my teeth, and not look like I literally just rolled out of bed. While I did that, the Israeli cut me some fruit to take with me for breakfast. It was really sweet. I managed to get to school earlier today than I usually do, as the train ride was quite easy. One of my co-workers was in the subway car when I got on, and was confused as to why I was getting on at a much later stop than I usually did. I didn't have to say anything, I'm sure my smile gave it away. Her first question to me was, Was that what you wore last night? Damn. Cover blown. But it was WELL worth it.
The Israeli was a little sad that I was going home this weekend. His birthday is on Monday, and his friends are having a party, and he wanted me to come with. I'm coming back late Saturday night, and am intending to spend all day Sunday with him. I got a text message this afternoon from the acupuncturist. He's been kind of spotty with keeping in touch, and with the cancelled date this past weekend, I'm wondering if I don't return his text message if I can just slip out of this one easily. I have a feeling it's not going to be so simple.
Last night was date number 3 with the Israeli, but to be honest it could have been date number 20 for how comfortable we are around each other. We met up at Union Hall in Park Slope around 8:30, but it was ridiculously packed. We decided we'd be better off at the tea lounge where we could actually sit and talk. We walked over to the Tea Lounge and found a large comfy couch to share, just the two of us. I went to get us some hot beverages, and while I was gone, he was composing some sort of logic riddles for me to solve. It's fun, and it's definitely something different. I worked out both of the problems with a little help from him, but I managed to do both, which is better than last time. Then he asked me what I wanted to do about us? I wasn't sure what he was talking about, but then I realized that he was having the DTR... So, he said he wasn't interested in dating anyone else, and I'm ready at this point to agree. So, we're not dating anyone else, but I'm not comfortable just yet calling him my boyfriend. The plan at the tea lounge was to read more of Oracle Night but neither of us were in the mood, so we read The New Yorker instead, not out loud, but together. However, he was confused by one of the articles, and I wasn't articulate enough to explain it correctly. He was a little put off by The New Yorker, so I continued to read while he worked on his laptop. We were very at ease just being together, each doing our own thing, like this was something we did all the time, not like a 3rd date at all.
At around 10:30 we decided it was probably getting late, and since I had to work today, we should get going. Since both dates prior had been sleepover dates, I had already figured what trains I'd need to take to get to work, wore something appropriate that if I had to wear it to school no one would notice, and brought a toothbrush. He offered to come back to my place with me and stay over here, but since I had already done all the logistical work and he doesn't have a roommate, it works out better to go there. I knew that we could pick up the Q on 7th Ave, but I wasn't sure where the stop was... so we walked up to Flatbush (which apparently is where the stop is, somehow we missed it!) and ended up walking all the way to the Atlantic Terminal! Which now that I know how close we were, we could have saved a lot of travel time! Regardless, about an hour later we finally got back to his apartment. Actually, it was more like an hour and a half, as it was around midnight I remember checking when we got into his apartment. We warmed up with some tea, and the Israeli fixed the beds in the bedroom so that they weren't like 2 twin beds pushed together. The last time, there were these huge gaps between the mattresses and one of us inevitably ended up falling in it. So, he fixed the bed, we warmed up, and went to bed.
It was probably around 1:30 by the time we went to sleep, which is really late for a school night for me. The alarms were set for around 6:15, so I could get to school without being late. I had no idea how long the train would take in the morning, so I figured I'd have to leave no later than 7:10 to get there by 8:15. The alarms went off, and we snoozed until almost 7 am, I rushed to get dressed and brush my teeth, and not look like I literally just rolled out of bed. While I did that, the Israeli cut me some fruit to take with me for breakfast. It was really sweet. I managed to get to school earlier today than I usually do, as the train ride was quite easy. One of my co-workers was in the subway car when I got on, and was confused as to why I was getting on at a much later stop than I usually did. I didn't have to say anything, I'm sure my smile gave it away. Her first question to me was, Was that what you wore last night? Damn. Cover blown. But it was WELL worth it.
The Israeli was a little sad that I was going home this weekend. His birthday is on Monday, and his friends are having a party, and he wanted me to come with. I'm coming back late Saturday night, and am intending to spend all day Sunday with him. I got a text message this afternoon from the acupuncturist. He's been kind of spotty with keeping in touch, and with the cancelled date this past weekend, I'm wondering if I don't return his text message if I can just slip out of this one easily. I have a feeling it's not going to be so simple.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
One for the books.
Finally, a real date with every expectation met, not a single second thought, simple, easy, conversation, a real connection. Ok, I'm getting ahead of myself. I had an A-MAZING date Friday night... which trickled into a wonderful weekend. I'll start with that, we'll see where this goes. I was really freaked out by the whole Israeli thing. I even stalked a co-worker down in her classroom to ask her, "what do Israelis like? What should I do on the date?" She has spent time in Israel, and has dated a few Israelis, so I felt she was the best expert on this one. Like they are a different species or something... I totally had myself way too worked up over this one.
We met up at the Museum of Natural History, it was raining and we were supposed to meet by the entrance but I didn't know if he would be inside or out. I waited outside for a few minutes, and then went inside. I saw him, or someone who I thought was him, but he was talking to a guy. They looked like they were friends, so I couldn't imagine that was him. But it looked just like him... and I checked my phone, and there were 2 text messages from him, saying that he was inside waiting. So... I texted him back, to see if that was him, and sure enough, it was. So I walked over to him and his friend, who were speaking in Hebrew. Great, another experience like the one in Peru where I felt like a third wheel and that everyone was talking about me in Hebrew. But the Israeli explained to me (later), that he had just met this guy, and he had just come up to him and asked him if he was Israeli. Weird. Anyway, so the Israeli and I go to get our tickets to the museum. We were there to see a jazz show that the museum does on the first friday of the month, but we had about an hour before it started so we decided to walk around the museum for a little bit. We talked, and at first I had a hard time understanding him, and felt like I was limiting my own vocabulary and how I was speaking because I thought he wouldn't understand. I quickly changed that when I felt like I was talking to a 2 year old - and I didn't want him to feel that way. The museum was a great ice breaker, I had never been before and neither had he, so we were both a little amused and interested at the same time. Talking about the exhibits, I learned some interesting things about him right off the bat. First of all, he's well educated, with degrees in psychology, sociology, and teaching - and he also mentioned something about anthropology. He lived in South Africa for 2 years when he was growing up, he speaks 6 languages - Hebrew, English, and Russian - all fluently. Spanish, French, and Italian he can get by in pretty well. I was impressed. The museum closed about half an hour after we got inside, and the security guards had to practically force us out. It was nice looking at the exhibits, even though we barely got to see anything really. We went down to the planetarium area where the jazz show was taking place. We walked around for a little bit, and decided to go see the show that was playing in the planetarium, about cosmic collisions. The show was quite good, and I had been wanted to see a show in the planetarium for some time now. We walked around afterwards, and looked at the relative size of elements of the universe compared to the Hayden sphere. (It took us both a while to realize that the Hayden sphere was the large sphere in which the planetarium was housed, and was right in front of us. We both felt pretty silly when we figured it out.) We got some tapas and settled down at the base of the planetarium to catch the 7:30 jazz show. It was good, and we chatted the whole time. Before I knew it, the show was over, and once again, a security guard was forcing us to leave. We decided to walk down Columbus in the rain, where I proceeded to get my feet soaking wet due to poor footwear choices, looking for a place to grab a bite to eat. We ended up walking to Columbus Circle, and going into the big mall there (aka Time Warner Center). We walked around a bit where the Israeli started posing logic riddles, I got the first one off the bat, but faltered on the second. Disappointing. We decided instead of spending an arm and a leg at a mediocre sandwich shop, we'd go to Whole Foods and gather some prepared food and have a mini-picnic at Whole Foods. We had a great time just shopping for the food, finding we like so many of the same things, it's so nice. I feel like we're so compatible. We ate, and talked about serious things - like past relationships, etc. - and joked about not so serious things. And before we knew it, we were getting kicked out of Whole Foods as well, because they were closing. So we closed down 3 separate places over the course of the evening, but still it was only 10:30. We'd been on the date for 5 hours at this point, so it would have been feasible to call it a night and go our own ways back into Brooklyn.
He suggested that we take the train together, even though it would have been easier for me to take the A/C home, and him to take the Q home. We decided to take the 1 to the Q, and I could get off at the Atlantic Terminal, which is a little longer of walk for me than the A/C or F/G would have been, but probably about the same distance as his apartment is from the Q. I sometimes forget how lucky I am to have so many trains within a 15 minute or less walk from my apartment. The 1 train however was PACKED, like rush hour, can't move an inch packed. We smushed in, and stood uncomfortably close to each other and about a million other people on the train. We transferred at Times Square to the Q, and I made a comment that I thought the Q was going to be as crowded as the 1. The Israeli disagreed, and we put a wager on the table. If I won, there would be no consequence for the sole reason that I could not think of a single thing to wage... and if he won, I would have to read aloud to him from the book he was reading on the train. He won, and the train was practically empty. So I read to him from Oracle Night by Auster, which I hadn't read before, and he was fairly close to the beginning so I was able to pick up on the story very easily. I really love reading aloud, and probably would have done so even if he hadn't won the bet. To any onlookers, we were a couple, or very close friends, who know each other well enough to be so intimate. That train ride we shared, it was something so simple - but as I see it unfolding - will define whatever future this relationship holds.
As we approached Atlantic Ave, he asked me if I wanted to come back to his apartment. I was hesitant because it was getting late, and I knew from his apartment in Midwood, I'd have a long train ride plus a decent walk much later at night. But I went anyway. His apartment was nice, in a very residential Jewish neighborhood. He played me some Israeli songs, and we talked about music and more. After about 2 hours of just hanging out on his couch, he finally kissed me. What seemed like seconds later (but really was hours), it was after 4 in the morning, and there was the undetermined matter of how I was getting home. I first figured I would take the train to Atlantic Ave, and just walk to my street from there. But by the time the train came and I got to Atlantic, I would have gotten home until close to 5:30 or 6 in the morning. The Israeli insisted that he was going to walk me to the train, and asked me if I wanted him to ride back with me and walk me home. I assured him that was unnecessary, and then considered taking a car service home. He said he would split the cost of me if I did, which he explained that I shouldn't have to pay for staying late at his place. When we figured that a car service would be 30+ dollars, I decided against it. And I told him I'd be fine walking to the train. He asked me if I wanted to stay over, to which I said I didn't think was a good idea on a first date. He rents his apartment from an orthodox family, and the bedroom set-up is with 2 twin beds, so he assured me that it would be fine, we'd each have our own bed after all. I decided to compromise, since he wasn't going to let me walk to the subway on my own that late (early?). I told him I would sleep over for a couple of hours, and then once it was light out, in the morning, I would walk myself to the train. He insisted that I wouldn't get up before noon without an alarm, but I know myself. Sleeping in a strangle place, fully dressed, with someone I hardly know, I wasn't going to sleep very well at all. He bet me (we seem to like to bet?) that I wouldn't be able to get up early without an alarm, I insisted that I would. He didn't want me to leave early, which is sweet, but I had so much to do on Saturday, I just couldn't spend all day in bed. So he bargained, I could leave if I got up on my own, without my cell phone or anything, but if I woke up because of my phone, I had to go back to bed, and try to fall back asleep. I knew I'd be up early enough and I didn't count on anyone calling me before then and my phone was in coat pocket, not even in the bedroom. Even if someone did call me, I wouldn't be able to hear it.
I slept for about 2 and a half hours, not very well either. I woke up around 7:30, and contemplated whether or not I should wake the Israeli or if I should just leave without saying goodbye. As I laid in bed, around 7:45, I heard my phone ring. The closet where my coat was must have backed right up to the wall where the beds were, and the walls were thin. I looked over at the Israeli, he was still asleep. I listened to hear if the caller left a message, because that would have woken him up. About 15 minutes later the phone rang again. I knew it was my roommate and she was concerned because I had been out on a first date with a complete stranger and hadn't made it home the night. She wanted to know I was alive, rightfully so. I felt bad, so I got up as quietly as possibly and didn't seem to wake the Israeli in the process. I talked to my roommate as quietly as possibly, and as I was getting off the phone with her, I heard some stirring coming from the bedroom. As I walked into the room, the Israeli had his hand over my glasses which were on the night table next to his bed. He told me I cheated, and had to go back to bed. I laughed, insisted that I had been up anyway, but fair is fair, and I agreed to go back to bed for an hour. He couldn't fall back asleep, and neither could I, so we talked for a while, and made out a bit, and eventually I got up and went home.
I hung out with a good friend on Saturday, we went to dinner and a movie, and we got back to my apartment around 9:30. As soon as I got home I noticed I had a text message and a missed call from the Israeli. I texted him back after my friend left, and he invited me over to read more of the book with him. I thought that was such a cute invitation, and I knew that my going over there after 10 at night would result in my staying over. I decided to go, and drove over to his apartment (which saved me the hassle of train travel). I read aloud for a little while from Oracle and then we tried to watch Y Tu Mama Tambien, but after only 2.5 hours of sleep the night before, a french movie (on edit: my sister was kind enough to point out that this is a Spanish movie, not French. I was half asleep, it's all greek to me!) with subtitles wasn't going to be easy to manage. Instead we made out for a while, and went to bed relatively early (relative to the night before, probably around 2:30). We woke up around 9:30 and spent the morning in bed. It was so nice, and very comfortable very fast. I read more of the book aloud, we cuddled, and kissed and as we were lying together, it dawned on me that I had found someone who complements me so well. In many many ways.
I had been so worried about the fact that he was Israeli, I was almost ready and willing to write him off without getting to know him. Instead, I got to meet a sweet, caring, funny, amazing guy... who for some reason, wants to continue seeing me as well. We have plans for Wednesday night later this week.
I was supposed to have a date with the acupuncturist tonight, but he cancelled because he had a lot of work to do. I wasn't too upset about that, all things considered, and it doesn't look like we'll have the time to reschedule again until the week after this one coming up. If things continue with the Israeli, I will have to end things with the acupuncturist. But I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket, yet.
We met up at the Museum of Natural History, it was raining and we were supposed to meet by the entrance but I didn't know if he would be inside or out. I waited outside for a few minutes, and then went inside. I saw him, or someone who I thought was him, but he was talking to a guy. They looked like they were friends, so I couldn't imagine that was him. But it looked just like him... and I checked my phone, and there were 2 text messages from him, saying that he was inside waiting. So... I texted him back, to see if that was him, and sure enough, it was. So I walked over to him and his friend, who were speaking in Hebrew. Great, another experience like the one in Peru where I felt like a third wheel and that everyone was talking about me in Hebrew. But the Israeli explained to me (later), that he had just met this guy, and he had just come up to him and asked him if he was Israeli. Weird. Anyway, so the Israeli and I go to get our tickets to the museum. We were there to see a jazz show that the museum does on the first friday of the month, but we had about an hour before it started so we decided to walk around the museum for a little bit. We talked, and at first I had a hard time understanding him, and felt like I was limiting my own vocabulary and how I was speaking because I thought he wouldn't understand. I quickly changed that when I felt like I was talking to a 2 year old - and I didn't want him to feel that way. The museum was a great ice breaker, I had never been before and neither had he, so we were both a little amused and interested at the same time. Talking about the exhibits, I learned some interesting things about him right off the bat. First of all, he's well educated, with degrees in psychology, sociology, and teaching - and he also mentioned something about anthropology. He lived in South Africa for 2 years when he was growing up, he speaks 6 languages - Hebrew, English, and Russian - all fluently. Spanish, French, and Italian he can get by in pretty well. I was impressed. The museum closed about half an hour after we got inside, and the security guards had to practically force us out. It was nice looking at the exhibits, even though we barely got to see anything really. We went down to the planetarium area where the jazz show was taking place. We walked around for a little bit, and decided to go see the show that was playing in the planetarium, about cosmic collisions. The show was quite good, and I had been wanted to see a show in the planetarium for some time now. We walked around afterwards, and looked at the relative size of elements of the universe compared to the Hayden sphere. (It took us both a while to realize that the Hayden sphere was the large sphere in which the planetarium was housed, and was right in front of us. We both felt pretty silly when we figured it out.) We got some tapas and settled down at the base of the planetarium to catch the 7:30 jazz show. It was good, and we chatted the whole time. Before I knew it, the show was over, and once again, a security guard was forcing us to leave. We decided to walk down Columbus in the rain, where I proceeded to get my feet soaking wet due to poor footwear choices, looking for a place to grab a bite to eat. We ended up walking to Columbus Circle, and going into the big mall there (aka Time Warner Center). We walked around a bit where the Israeli started posing logic riddles, I got the first one off the bat, but faltered on the second. Disappointing. We decided instead of spending an arm and a leg at a mediocre sandwich shop, we'd go to Whole Foods and gather some prepared food and have a mini-picnic at Whole Foods. We had a great time just shopping for the food, finding we like so many of the same things, it's so nice. I feel like we're so compatible. We ate, and talked about serious things - like past relationships, etc. - and joked about not so serious things. And before we knew it, we were getting kicked out of Whole Foods as well, because they were closing. So we closed down 3 separate places over the course of the evening, but still it was only 10:30. We'd been on the date for 5 hours at this point, so it would have been feasible to call it a night and go our own ways back into Brooklyn.
He suggested that we take the train together, even though it would have been easier for me to take the A/C home, and him to take the Q home. We decided to take the 1 to the Q, and I could get off at the Atlantic Terminal, which is a little longer of walk for me than the A/C or F/G would have been, but probably about the same distance as his apartment is from the Q. I sometimes forget how lucky I am to have so many trains within a 15 minute or less walk from my apartment. The 1 train however was PACKED, like rush hour, can't move an inch packed. We smushed in, and stood uncomfortably close to each other and about a million other people on the train. We transferred at Times Square to the Q, and I made a comment that I thought the Q was going to be as crowded as the 1. The Israeli disagreed, and we put a wager on the table. If I won, there would be no consequence for the sole reason that I could not think of a single thing to wage... and if he won, I would have to read aloud to him from the book he was reading on the train. He won, and the train was practically empty. So I read to him from Oracle Night by Auster, which I hadn't read before, and he was fairly close to the beginning so I was able to pick up on the story very easily. I really love reading aloud, and probably would have done so even if he hadn't won the bet. To any onlookers, we were a couple, or very close friends, who know each other well enough to be so intimate. That train ride we shared, it was something so simple - but as I see it unfolding - will define whatever future this relationship holds.
As we approached Atlantic Ave, he asked me if I wanted to come back to his apartment. I was hesitant because it was getting late, and I knew from his apartment in Midwood, I'd have a long train ride plus a decent walk much later at night. But I went anyway. His apartment was nice, in a very residential Jewish neighborhood. He played me some Israeli songs, and we talked about music and more. After about 2 hours of just hanging out on his couch, he finally kissed me. What seemed like seconds later (but really was hours), it was after 4 in the morning, and there was the undetermined matter of how I was getting home. I first figured I would take the train to Atlantic Ave, and just walk to my street from there. But by the time the train came and I got to Atlantic, I would have gotten home until close to 5:30 or 6 in the morning. The Israeli insisted that he was going to walk me to the train, and asked me if I wanted him to ride back with me and walk me home. I assured him that was unnecessary, and then considered taking a car service home. He said he would split the cost of me if I did, which he explained that I shouldn't have to pay for staying late at his place. When we figured that a car service would be 30+ dollars, I decided against it. And I told him I'd be fine walking to the train. He asked me if I wanted to stay over, to which I said I didn't think was a good idea on a first date. He rents his apartment from an orthodox family, and the bedroom set-up is with 2 twin beds, so he assured me that it would be fine, we'd each have our own bed after all. I decided to compromise, since he wasn't going to let me walk to the subway on my own that late (early?). I told him I would sleep over for a couple of hours, and then once it was light out, in the morning, I would walk myself to the train. He insisted that I wouldn't get up before noon without an alarm, but I know myself. Sleeping in a strangle place, fully dressed, with someone I hardly know, I wasn't going to sleep very well at all. He bet me (we seem to like to bet?) that I wouldn't be able to get up early without an alarm, I insisted that I would. He didn't want me to leave early, which is sweet, but I had so much to do on Saturday, I just couldn't spend all day in bed. So he bargained, I could leave if I got up on my own, without my cell phone or anything, but if I woke up because of my phone, I had to go back to bed, and try to fall back asleep. I knew I'd be up early enough and I didn't count on anyone calling me before then and my phone was in coat pocket, not even in the bedroom. Even if someone did call me, I wouldn't be able to hear it.
I slept for about 2 and a half hours, not very well either. I woke up around 7:30, and contemplated whether or not I should wake the Israeli or if I should just leave without saying goodbye. As I laid in bed, around 7:45, I heard my phone ring. The closet where my coat was must have backed right up to the wall where the beds were, and the walls were thin. I looked over at the Israeli, he was still asleep. I listened to hear if the caller left a message, because that would have woken him up. About 15 minutes later the phone rang again. I knew it was my roommate and she was concerned because I had been out on a first date with a complete stranger and hadn't made it home the night. She wanted to know I was alive, rightfully so. I felt bad, so I got up as quietly as possibly and didn't seem to wake the Israeli in the process. I talked to my roommate as quietly as possibly, and as I was getting off the phone with her, I heard some stirring coming from the bedroom. As I walked into the room, the Israeli had his hand over my glasses which were on the night table next to his bed. He told me I cheated, and had to go back to bed. I laughed, insisted that I had been up anyway, but fair is fair, and I agreed to go back to bed for an hour. He couldn't fall back asleep, and neither could I, so we talked for a while, and made out a bit, and eventually I got up and went home.
I hung out with a good friend on Saturday, we went to dinner and a movie, and we got back to my apartment around 9:30. As soon as I got home I noticed I had a text message and a missed call from the Israeli. I texted him back after my friend left, and he invited me over to read more of the book with him. I thought that was such a cute invitation, and I knew that my going over there after 10 at night would result in my staying over. I decided to go, and drove over to his apartment (which saved me the hassle of train travel). I read aloud for a little while from Oracle and then we tried to watch Y Tu Mama Tambien, but after only 2.5 hours of sleep the night before, a french movie (on edit: my sister was kind enough to point out that this is a Spanish movie, not French. I was half asleep, it's all greek to me!) with subtitles wasn't going to be easy to manage. Instead we made out for a while, and went to bed relatively early (relative to the night before, probably around 2:30). We woke up around 9:30 and spent the morning in bed. It was so nice, and very comfortable very fast. I read more of the book aloud, we cuddled, and kissed and as we were lying together, it dawned on me that I had found someone who complements me so well. In many many ways.
I had been so worried about the fact that he was Israeli, I was almost ready and willing to write him off without getting to know him. Instead, I got to meet a sweet, caring, funny, amazing guy... who for some reason, wants to continue seeing me as well. We have plans for Wednesday night later this week.
I was supposed to have a date with the acupuncturist tonight, but he cancelled because he had a lot of work to do. I wasn't too upset about that, all things considered, and it doesn't look like we'll have the time to reschedule again until the week after this one coming up. If things continue with the Israeli, I will have to end things with the acupuncturist. But I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket, yet.
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