Never in my life have I been caught by my parents, or roommates, or anyone doing anything I wouldn't want them to catch me doing. On Wednesday night, I went out to dinner with Mr. Perfect. He came to my house to pick me up, and no one was home at the time so I invited him in to meet my dog, even though my dog is vicious and doesn't like anyone new. He came in and I was showing him around, when I hear my mom come home. Nothing was going on, so it wasn't a big deal... I just wasn't ready for him to meet my parents just yet. He was very cool about it, and it wasn't a big deal... I was just very scared that would scare him off or something. It didn't.
We went to dinner and I learned new things about him that don't match my criteria, although I'm trying to minimize the amount of criteria that I try to hold him up to. The newest one is that he is not adventurous with his food, and is pretty bland when it comes to what he will eat. I think I knew before that he was a picky eater, but I didn't realize how incredibly picky until Wednesday. I was not thrilled... But that's not a deal breaker. After dinner we went to Barnes and Noble, were I perused books and tried to persuade him that he would like to read some of them (I will try my best to make him a reader!) If anyone has any good book suggestions for a guy who is not a reader, please pass them my way. We picked up some magazines (which he will read) and got some coffee and dessert in the coffee shop. We sat and read and chatted minimally, and it was very comfortable and easy. Sometimes I forget that I've only been dating him for 2 weeks, it seems like much longer.
He drove me back to my parents house and we were making out in the car in the driveway. My mom parks her car in the garage and I already knew she came home. My dad's car was in the driveway, so I just assumed that both my parents were home. We had actually moved to the back seat at one point. I had never seen the point of doing anything in a car before when there are perfectly good houses and bedrooms available. In this case, it wasn't available, but he did offer to drive down to his house (20 minutes) then drive me back (20 mins) and then have to drive back home (20 mins). I told him an hour of driving wasn't worth it, and we didn't need to have sex every time we hung out... but clearly I didn't mean that, and we managed in his car. Things were heating up and I definitely was not entirely clothed when suddenly he stops and says that there is a car at my driveway with it's blinker on. I asked if it was a white car, which would be my mom's, because my dad's was definitely in the driveway. He couldn't tell because the windows were all fogged up, but the car was not moving. The car parked at the foot of the driveway, and it was in fact my mom who had gone back to school for some ungodly reason after already coming home. Mr. Perfect managed to get dressed quicker than I had ever seen anyone dress themselves in such a small space. I on the other hand had no chance of getting dressed quick enough without creating a disturbance and drawing more attention to the car. I pulled his coat over myself and crouched down in hopes of not being seen. We sat very very still. My mom walked right past the car and into the house. I freaked out for a bit, not knowing what she saw or if she saw anything at all. She obviously noticed his car... so we had to be somewhere. When she realized we were not in the house, I figured she'd figure out the rest. After about 15 minutes of freaking out, I finally mustered up the strength to go inside and face my parents. I know my parents aren't dumb, but they did a really good job playing it that night. My mom asked me where we went, and genuinely sounded surprised when I told her that we had been in the car when she came home. She said that she had thought I had snuck Mr. Perfect upstairs when my dad wasn't around... which I think would have been pretty weird.
Mr. Perfect commented at one point how the 20 minute drive to his house didn't seem so silly after all. And I think from now on we'll stick to safe places, as it should be.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Cheating.
I am not cheating on anyone. I just want to put that out there, because my conscious tells me otherwise. I went on a date last night who was not WAG (Updated: he has been renamed "Mr. Perfect" by my brother - irony is everything.) and even though Mr. P and I are not exclusively dating, I felt really really guilty. I had met this guy on Match before I went on my first date with Mr. Perfect, and I thought he seemed ok. I definitely wanted to meet him, but once things picked up with Mr. Perfect I was hoping things with this other guy would just fade and he'd forget about going out. However, that wasn't the case, and I decided after Mr. P told me in passing on Sunday night that he wasn't going to take his Match.com profile down - at least for 6 months, that maybe I should look into other options. We hung out on Sunday night at his place, watched some tv, but mostly didn't watch the tv... it was a really nice night. Nothing noteworthy really to blog about. He still makes me happy, and I'm pretty content with him. So why should I be dating anyone else? Maybe because I'm addicted? Or maybe because I have so many guards up that I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop and can continue my habitual dating patterns.
Back to last night's date. The other guy is in law school at Drexel. He's shorter than me, small in stature, and I didn't feel like we had any real connection. He had mentioned before that he was really shy, but it seemed less like shyness and more like disinterest. However, he kept wanting to prolong the date. We met for drinks at a bar on South Street and 20th. It was a cool bar with a decent beer selection, enough to keep me happy. We ordered a drink, and then this guy suggested we get a table so we can have dinner. We had dinner, and then he wanted to go shoot some pool in the back but there was some kind of tournament going on. I was hoping this would be my out to end this date early, get home, get a good night's sleep... something I've been lacking lately. The other guy had the idea that we should go bowling. I know I like to bowl, but it's definitely not the best first date activity, especially when it's just 2 people. You can't talk to the other person because they are constantly bowling when you're not and vice versa. It's a good date with friends, but 1 on 1, it's a little hard. We went to Lucky Strike which is ridiculously expensive for 2 people to bowl, and I felt bad that he insisted on paying for it. We bowled 2 pretty quick games, which started off with this other guy being a rather atrocious bowler. It was cute because he clearly is not a bowling enthusiast like I am, but he wanted to do something that I wanted to do, and he was trying his best. I gave him some pointers (I'm not the best bowler, but I usually do alright) and he got progressively better throughout the game. He was like my bowling prodigy. After the game we hung out on the couch and were talking for a bit. I pointed out the Flyers game that was on and tied in the third quarter. I knew that he's a huge Flyers fan, and that he probably would rather be watching the game than making small talk with me. I suggested we move over to one of the other couches where we could better watch the game. He was very pleased with this, and all of the sudden he was all over me. It was such a strange transition, I didn't really know how to interpret it. One minute we were barely touching, the next he had his arm around me, rubbing my shoulder as he explained what was going on in the game to me. Clearly all it took was some hockey to break the ice. He explained the whole end of the game to me, overtime and the shoot out, and the Flyers won in the end. It was an exciting game, he told me I was a "good luck charm." He did kiss me as we were hanging out on the couch, and I did kiss him back. He asked me to hang out later this week, but I'm already seeing Mr. Perfect tomorrow, and the rest of my week is booked. I don't know if I will make the effort to see him again, but I'm pretty sure he will. He already texted me today, not 24 hours later. I don't feel guilty about it... at this point it's no different than last year with the acupuncturist and the Israeli.
When Mr. Perfect decides that he wants to date me and only me, then hopefully I will be ready to do the same. For now, I'm going to take it as it come, and stop taking this 2 week thing I have going on with Mr. P so seriously.
Back to last night's date. The other guy is in law school at Drexel. He's shorter than me, small in stature, and I didn't feel like we had any real connection. He had mentioned before that he was really shy, but it seemed less like shyness and more like disinterest. However, he kept wanting to prolong the date. We met for drinks at a bar on South Street and 20th. It was a cool bar with a decent beer selection, enough to keep me happy. We ordered a drink, and then this guy suggested we get a table so we can have dinner. We had dinner, and then he wanted to go shoot some pool in the back but there was some kind of tournament going on. I was hoping this would be my out to end this date early, get home, get a good night's sleep... something I've been lacking lately. The other guy had the idea that we should go bowling. I know I like to bowl, but it's definitely not the best first date activity, especially when it's just 2 people. You can't talk to the other person because they are constantly bowling when you're not and vice versa. It's a good date with friends, but 1 on 1, it's a little hard. We went to Lucky Strike which is ridiculously expensive for 2 people to bowl, and I felt bad that he insisted on paying for it. We bowled 2 pretty quick games, which started off with this other guy being a rather atrocious bowler. It was cute because he clearly is not a bowling enthusiast like I am, but he wanted to do something that I wanted to do, and he was trying his best. I gave him some pointers (I'm not the best bowler, but I usually do alright) and he got progressively better throughout the game. He was like my bowling prodigy. After the game we hung out on the couch and were talking for a bit. I pointed out the Flyers game that was on and tied in the third quarter. I knew that he's a huge Flyers fan, and that he probably would rather be watching the game than making small talk with me. I suggested we move over to one of the other couches where we could better watch the game. He was very pleased with this, and all of the sudden he was all over me. It was such a strange transition, I didn't really know how to interpret it. One minute we were barely touching, the next he had his arm around me, rubbing my shoulder as he explained what was going on in the game to me. Clearly all it took was some hockey to break the ice. He explained the whole end of the game to me, overtime and the shoot out, and the Flyers won in the end. It was an exciting game, he told me I was a "good luck charm." He did kiss me as we were hanging out on the couch, and I did kiss him back. He asked me to hang out later this week, but I'm already seeing Mr. Perfect tomorrow, and the rest of my week is booked. I don't know if I will make the effort to see him again, but I'm pretty sure he will. He already texted me today, not 24 hours later. I don't feel guilty about it... at this point it's no different than last year with the acupuncturist and the Israeli.
When Mr. Perfect decides that he wants to date me and only me, then hopefully I will be ready to do the same. For now, I'm going to take it as it come, and stop taking this 2 week thing I have going on with Mr. P so seriously.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Snow Day
I used to imagine having a snow day, when I could spend the day with someone, just cuddling and watching movies and getting takeout... and other indoor activities that are appropriate when it snows. I've never had that. Either I've never been dating someone during snow days, or the other person wasn't off of work, or it was too hard to get to the other person's place.
Yesterday was the first snow day of the year. I was ecstatic to be off of school because it was so unexpected. I texted WAG in the morning when I found out I was off to see if his school was closed as well. We had plans to hang out last night, and I figured if we were both off, we could push that up a few hours. He was off too, and we agreed we'd hang out earlier. Because I once got into a bad accident in the snow, I have a fear of driving on bad roads. I know my new car doesn't handle great in the rain, and I didn't want to risk it in the snow. I told him that I was nervous about driving down there because of the roads, and to get to his house there are some back, windy roads that I was sure would not be clear. He offered to come pick me up, since he drives an SUV, and isn't afraid of driving in the snow. This was perfect for me, and he picked me up around 2 in the afternoon. We went to the movie store and picked out 3 movies, one neither of us had seen, one I hadn't seen but he had, and one he hadn't seen but I had. It was a good compromise. We stopped at Wawa for snacks and drinks, and then back to his place. The rest of the day consisted of watching the movies, ordering take-out, cuddling, making out, and one thing leading to another. One thing I can say is that we are extremely compatible in bed, and this is very important to me. There was a lot I didn't write about CK, but we were NOT compatible sexually, and it really was a downer on the relationship. For first times, WAG beats out the Israeli who was the front runner before him. I'm pretty pleased with that. If he wants a girlfriend and can keep this up, I'm willing to play that part.
Needless to say, I spent the night, and in the morning he attempted to make breakfast. After not being able to find a frying pan, and a botched attempt at scrambled eggs in the microwave, I had half a pop-tart, and he had some sausage. After breakfast, we laid around some more, and just enjoyed each other's company for the remainder of the morning. After quite some time, I finally got around to having him drive me home, and it was a long, slow goodbye. After spending nearly 24 hours with a person, I usually am ready for a break. If my sister wasn't coming into town this weekend, I probably could have spent my entire weekend there. That might have been overkill, and we're definitely rushing things. It just feels right at the moment. Yes, there are a lot of ways that he doesn't match what I thought I'm looking for, but everyday that seems to matter less and less.
We had a lot of long talks this week, as usually happens when two people only spend time with each other. I know a lot about his past relationships, and his past experience. He's already told me that he doesn't date more than one girl at a time, so that makes me feel guilty about my date for Monday. I scheduled it before I even met WAG a week ago (it was one of the Sunday dates that was postponed), and while I don't anticipate liking this guy more than this one, I'm not closing off my options just yet.
P.S. I don't like the blog name WAG... it doesn't flow with the writing, if anyone can come up with something better, please by all means, post suggestions!
Yesterday was the first snow day of the year. I was ecstatic to be off of school because it was so unexpected. I texted WAG in the morning when I found out I was off to see if his school was closed as well. We had plans to hang out last night, and I figured if we were both off, we could push that up a few hours. He was off too, and we agreed we'd hang out earlier. Because I once got into a bad accident in the snow, I have a fear of driving on bad roads. I know my new car doesn't handle great in the rain, and I didn't want to risk it in the snow. I told him that I was nervous about driving down there because of the roads, and to get to his house there are some back, windy roads that I was sure would not be clear. He offered to come pick me up, since he drives an SUV, and isn't afraid of driving in the snow. This was perfect for me, and he picked me up around 2 in the afternoon. We went to the movie store and picked out 3 movies, one neither of us had seen, one I hadn't seen but he had, and one he hadn't seen but I had. It was a good compromise. We stopped at Wawa for snacks and drinks, and then back to his place. The rest of the day consisted of watching the movies, ordering take-out, cuddling, making out, and one thing leading to another. One thing I can say is that we are extremely compatible in bed, and this is very important to me. There was a lot I didn't write about CK, but we were NOT compatible sexually, and it really was a downer on the relationship. For first times, WAG beats out the Israeli who was the front runner before him. I'm pretty pleased with that. If he wants a girlfriend and can keep this up, I'm willing to play that part.
Needless to say, I spent the night, and in the morning he attempted to make breakfast. After not being able to find a frying pan, and a botched attempt at scrambled eggs in the microwave, I had half a pop-tart, and he had some sausage. After breakfast, we laid around some more, and just enjoyed each other's company for the remainder of the morning. After quite some time, I finally got around to having him drive me home, and it was a long, slow goodbye. After spending nearly 24 hours with a person, I usually am ready for a break. If my sister wasn't coming into town this weekend, I probably could have spent my entire weekend there. That might have been overkill, and we're definitely rushing things. It just feels right at the moment. Yes, there are a lot of ways that he doesn't match what I thought I'm looking for, but everyday that seems to matter less and less.
We had a lot of long talks this week, as usually happens when two people only spend time with each other. I know a lot about his past relationships, and his past experience. He's already told me that he doesn't date more than one girl at a time, so that makes me feel guilty about my date for Monday. I scheduled it before I even met WAG a week ago (it was one of the Sunday dates that was postponed), and while I don't anticipate liking this guy more than this one, I'm not closing off my options just yet.
P.S. I don't like the blog name WAG... it doesn't flow with the writing, if anyone can come up with something better, please by all means, post suggestions!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
5th Period
Today was the dreaded day. The day my crush showed up in my class 5th period. Now, to be fair, I really don't have a crush on my crush anymore. But I am still embarrassed by the thought of my students plotting our romance in their minds. It was towards the end of the period, the students had just finished up a project that had them pretty riled up to begin with, and then he walked in to drop off the weekly magazines to my class. Usually he just drops them off, waves, and leaves. Today, he stood at the back of my class like he was waiting for me to finish up teaching, like he had something important to say to me. So, I noticed him standing there, but he was in the back, and I was PRAYING that my students wouldn't notice him. I tried to keep them busy by passing out homework, and talking a lot about what they needed to do. But of course they noticed, and of course they had something to say about that too. As soon as they started making comments (oooh Ms. B, do you see who's here? Ms. B, tomorrow is Friday night, what are you doing? Ms. B, why are you turning red??) I almost killed them. And I also found it near impossible to keep a straight face. I turned about 10 shades of red and of course I have a few who take things TOO far (Student M - no surprise. He has very little impulse control.) And my crush ended up having to yell at my students. After that I lined them out, and they were still wild and trying to make comments, but I ushered them out quickly and down the hall to Spanish. Apparently, my crush really wanted to talk to me because he was walking down the hall behind me and my class. I ignored this and just wanted to get my class to Spanish before I had to deal with the humiliation of what just happened in my classroom. As we stopped at the corner, one of the girls keeps saying to me, "Ms. B, turn around." I ignored her. Again, "Ms. B, turn around, there's someone behind you." I continued to ignore her. "Ms. B, Ms. B, turn around!!" I turned another shade of red, probably deeper than before, because if it wasn't apparent to him before what was going on, it definitely was at that point.
I got them to Spanish, and pretty much hid in the teacher's lounge/workroom for 15 minutes. I thought the coast was clear, when I ran into him. Well, actually I was talking to another teacher in the hallway, and I saw him hear my voice, turn around and wait for me. Again. So, I went over and apologized for what he witnessed in my class today. I wanted to tell him that my class has a very active imagination, but that didn't sound like the right way to phrase that, so I just said that they are characters and get a little carried away sometimes. He laughed and said he thought the whole thing was really funny. I can only imagine what he was really thinking. He had nothing important to say to me though. He asked me if I had the unit questions for the chapters we're working on now, which I had already emailed him about last week telling him I didn't have them. He said he'd bring it to our meeting next week, and nothing really was discussed... He made some small talk and told me to tell the other grade level teacher he said hello, and then he left.
I am still mortified by what happened with my class. They thought it was hysterical. If it hadn't happened to me, and it wasn't my supervisor, I'd probably find it funny too. At this point though, I'd be very surprised if I saw him in my 5th period class any time in the near future.
I got them to Spanish, and pretty much hid in the teacher's lounge/workroom for 15 minutes. I thought the coast was clear, when I ran into him. Well, actually I was talking to another teacher in the hallway, and I saw him hear my voice, turn around and wait for me. Again. So, I went over and apologized for what he witnessed in my class today. I wanted to tell him that my class has a very active imagination, but that didn't sound like the right way to phrase that, so I just said that they are characters and get a little carried away sometimes. He laughed and said he thought the whole thing was really funny. I can only imagine what he was really thinking. He had nothing important to say to me though. He asked me if I had the unit questions for the chapters we're working on now, which I had already emailed him about last week telling him I didn't have them. He said he'd bring it to our meeting next week, and nothing really was discussed... He made some small talk and told me to tell the other grade level teacher he said hello, and then he left.
I am still mortified by what happened with my class. They thought it was hysterical. If it hadn't happened to me, and it wasn't my supervisor, I'd probably find it funny too. At this point though, I'd be very surprised if I saw him in my 5th period class any time in the near future.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Standards.
I had every intention of posting this last night... but I didn't get home until almost 1am, and sleep seemed to be the front runner in terms of my priorities.
So last night was my 3rd date with WAG, and it continues to go well. Briefly, dinner and then we went to his place where we made out. I was out way past the time I had planned, but today I managed to get by on just a few hours of sleep. I had that post-good date glow to hold me over. However, I'm not getting my hopes or expectations very high on this one. I had 3 really good dates with The Chin before he bailed... so there's still chance that this one could sour before it goes much further. Although, I have the feeling if this one is going to end it will be on my account, not his. But, I'm enjoying this a lot so far, however that's not without reservation.
When you've dated as much as I have (and let's be honest, I've dated my fair share), it comes with its lot of baggage and hang-ups from previous relationships/dates/interactions/what-have-you. I've also set a lot of standards for myself and what I want in a guy who dates. I've mentioned some of them here before, but just to recap... what I think (and notice I say think because I've never dated my ideal guy, so I'm not sure) I'd like in the guy I eventually end up with:
1. Bachelor's Degree - no. He has his Associates... But surprisingly to myself, I'm more ok with this than I thought. He has a decent job which he really seems to like. He's plenty ambitious, and seems to know what he wants. He's smart and we have good conversation... So I guess this first one doesn't really matter (especially when I went out with guy who is finishing his masters on Monday and nearly died of boredom... sometimes education isn't everything)!
2. Jewish - no. He was raised Methodist... but apparently hasn't been to any kind of service since he was really little. We haven't talked about kids, so that one will have to wait for a later discussion to see how he wants to raise his little ones. (Although he did mention something about a Christmas tree for his future kids and family, but I'm ok with that. I always wanted a Christmas tree, anyway.)
3. Reader - no. This one broke my heart. Over dinner last night we got to talking about reading. And WAG tells me that in his entire life he remembers reading ONE book cover to cover. And it was in the 5th grade. I almost fell off my seat. Even my friends who are not readers (ehm, Debbie...) have read more than ONE book in their life. I was literally dumbfounded. I can't imagine how one person could get through years of school and have only read one book cover to cover. I flat out told him over dinner that I could not date a non reader. I tried to explain how I felt, and he was pretty cool with me telling him that straight out. He says that he wants to try to read, which I think is adorable. I told him that I like to read aloud to people, and he seemed to like that idea of me reading to him. He really does seem genuinely interested in giving reading a try. I have to give him credit for that.
So, he doesn't meet the top three criteria, but I have a really good time when I'm with him, and I really like spending time with him. So maybe all those things are superficial when it comes to building a connection with someone, and I should toss preconceived notions and see where this one goes.
So last night was my 3rd date with WAG, and it continues to go well. Briefly, dinner and then we went to his place where we made out. I was out way past the time I had planned, but today I managed to get by on just a few hours of sleep. I had that post-good date glow to hold me over. However, I'm not getting my hopes or expectations very high on this one. I had 3 really good dates with The Chin before he bailed... so there's still chance that this one could sour before it goes much further. Although, I have the feeling if this one is going to end it will be on my account, not his. But, I'm enjoying this a lot so far, however that's not without reservation.
When you've dated as much as I have (and let's be honest, I've dated my fair share), it comes with its lot of baggage and hang-ups from previous relationships/dates/interactions/what-have-you. I've also set a lot of standards for myself and what I want in a guy who dates. I've mentioned some of them here before, but just to recap... what I think (and notice I say think because I've never dated my ideal guy, so I'm not sure) I'd like in the guy I eventually end up with:
- College Degree - Bachelor's is really the minimum, I'm much more attracted to graduate degrees. Actually, I'm attracted to intelligence, but I really think a college education is important.
- Jewish - this is more for my family (parents and grandparents), I feel a lot of pressure from them actually to marry someone who is Jewish. More than once, both of my grandmothers, and my parents have mentioned that I'm their "only hope" for having a grandchild/child marry someone Jewish. Nothing like pressure. All I really care is that I'm able to raise my (hypothetical) children Jewish.
- A reader - Ok, so this is me being really picky. I really like to date guys who read. I know I've mentioned this one before and I'm not sure why this one is so important to me. I know a lot of people who are avid readers and are with people who don't read. My parents are a classic example of this. My mom likes to read all the time, and when she has the time, she reads a lot. My dad however, if I ever saw him pick up a book to read, it would be the first time in my 27 years. They've been together for over 40 years, married for 35. So clearly my need for a reader is not a necessity, but it's something I've always wanted to share with someone. I remember my early days with the Israeli that we spent reading together, lazy Sunday mornings, it was my idea of a perfect morning.
1.
2.
3.
So, he doesn't meet the top three criteria, but I have a really good time when I'm with him, and I really like spending time with him. So maybe all those things are superficial when it comes to building a connection with someone, and I should toss preconceived notions and see where this one goes.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Double Trouble
Two dates for the price of one... I had a double header tonight (and trust me, I'm on the lookout for cockroaches!) But all in all, it wasn't as exciting as they usually are. My first date was one that I had postponed from this weekend. It wasn't one I was looking forward, and for good reason. I had talked to this guy on the phone before meeting him, and the conversation seemed harder than any I've had before. However I hoped that had to do with him being uncomfortable on the phone, and not really a reflection of how the date would go.
We met up early for coffee in University City. It was a beautiful day when I got there, warm and sunny - very unlike February. He was nice enough, but unfortunately, the conversation was no better than on the phone. We talked for 2 hours, I guess... there were lots of lulls and uncomfortable silences... and I don't think I'm trying as hard as I used to when it comes to making conversations with uber-shy guys. We didn't really talk much about anything more than very surface things, and I felt like there was no natural transition from one topic to the next. It was like one ended, and then I had to come up with a question or comment to start a new conversation. At least twice, I actually made a weather reference (it started raining during the time I was there), and felt like I was actually saying, "so... how about that weather, hmm?" Nothing like bad conversation to make 2 hours feel like 10. Around 6:15, I made about the 10 glance to my watch, and he asked me if I had to go. I said that I should be getting home, and also my meter was going to run out soon. He had to go back to his office on campus to pick up his bike and jacket, and I agreed to drive him back since it was raining. It was awkward and there was very little to say... The goodbye was strange, and I really just wanted him out of my car. I was kind of miserable about the fact that I had wasted the remainder of the nice day and now it was cold and rainy.
Straight from one date to the next, I went to the bowling alley to meet up with the guy from Friday night. I had been wanting to go bowling all weekend, and since it didn't pan out with my friend here, the guy from Friday said he'd go with me today. This guy is the one who really wants a girlfriend (we'll call him WAG for short). He was late, again, and I was on time, surprisingly (even after getting lost briefly around 30th St. Station). We bowled four games, which were all a lot of fun. The only problem is that it's hard to have a conversation with someone while you're both up bowling. Bowling with multiple people would be better as it would give us more of a chance to talk. However, in the short discussions we did have, I found out that he's not so adventurous with his food, and may not eat Thai food... this is obviously a problem for me, but he may be willing to try it. He has some food issues, which make me hesitant, but hopefully they are not too serious. After bowling, he walked me out to my car, which turned into making out in my car. Nothing more than kissing, my car isn't that spacious and there were too many people in and out of the parking lot. I'm not that risqué anyway. I can tell he really likes me, or at least the idea of me. It's definitely hard for me to tell, because he did make it so glaringly clear that he really wants a girlfriend. I don't want to date someone just because they are looking to be with anyone. I'd like to date someone who's genuinely interested in me. It's confusing, and making it hard for me to tell how I feel about him.
However, he isn't reserved about wanting to see me. He asked me out for dinner tomorrow night. This makes 3 dates within 5 days. I may have to slow this one down a bit before we get a little carried away.
We met up early for coffee in University City. It was a beautiful day when I got there, warm and sunny - very unlike February. He was nice enough, but unfortunately, the conversation was no better than on the phone. We talked for 2 hours, I guess... there were lots of lulls and uncomfortable silences... and I don't think I'm trying as hard as I used to when it comes to making conversations with uber-shy guys. We didn't really talk much about anything more than very surface things, and I felt like there was no natural transition from one topic to the next. It was like one ended, and then I had to come up with a question or comment to start a new conversation. At least twice, I actually made a weather reference (it started raining during the time I was there), and felt like I was actually saying, "so... how about that weather, hmm?" Nothing like bad conversation to make 2 hours feel like 10. Around 6:15, I made about the 10 glance to my watch, and he asked me if I had to go. I said that I should be getting home, and also my meter was going to run out soon. He had to go back to his office on campus to pick up his bike and jacket, and I agreed to drive him back since it was raining. It was awkward and there was very little to say... The goodbye was strange, and I really just wanted him out of my car. I was kind of miserable about the fact that I had wasted the remainder of the nice day and now it was cold and rainy.
Straight from one date to the next, I went to the bowling alley to meet up with the guy from Friday night. I had been wanting to go bowling all weekend, and since it didn't pan out with my friend here, the guy from Friday said he'd go with me today. This guy is the one who really wants a girlfriend (we'll call him WAG for short). He was late, again, and I was on time, surprisingly (even after getting lost briefly around 30th St. Station). We bowled four games, which were all a lot of fun. The only problem is that it's hard to have a conversation with someone while you're both up bowling. Bowling with multiple people would be better as it would give us more of a chance to talk. However, in the short discussions we did have, I found out that he's not so adventurous with his food, and may not eat Thai food... this is obviously a problem for me, but he may be willing to try it. He has some food issues, which make me hesitant, but hopefully they are not too serious. After bowling, he walked me out to my car, which turned into making out in my car. Nothing more than kissing, my car isn't that spacious and there were too many people in and out of the parking lot. I'm not that risqué anyway. I can tell he really likes me, or at least the idea of me. It's definitely hard for me to tell, because he did make it so glaringly clear that he really wants a girlfriend. I don't want to date someone just because they are looking to be with anyone. I'd like to date someone who's genuinely interested in me. It's confusing, and making it hard for me to tell how I feel about him.
However, he isn't reserved about wanting to see me. He asked me out for dinner tomorrow night. This makes 3 dates within 5 days. I may have to slow this one down a bit before we get a little carried away.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
1 out of 3
I was supposed to have 3 dates this weekend, however, my friend came down from NYC instead, so 2 of them were canceled. The one that I did get to go on however was pretty good. I wasn't looking forward to this date ahead of time for a few reasons. The first and foremost reason was I knew way too much about this guy and how much he was looking for a relationship prior to meeting him. Also, he seemed to always be on IM, and wanting to have long, drawn out conversations which I just don't have time for. If and when I am on IM, it's usually while I'm working on my computer and don't really have time to have lengthy conversations (kind of defeats the purpose of it, I know.) But, I've done the whole IMing with a guy before you meet him, and then find you have nothing to say to them when it's in person. It's like long phone conversations, or email exchanges that always end in disappointment when you actually meet the person. So I scheduled an early date on Friday, hoping to be home by 8 so I'd have some time with my friend who was leaving to go back to another country, or clean/prepare for my friend's visit to my house.
We had scheduled to meet at 5:30 at a coffee shop. I was early, and he was late. He called to let me know that he wasn't going to make it until a little later, so I settled in and had some coffee. He showed up much closer to 6 than to 5:30, but that's ok. I wasn't in a real rush. He was cute, and we talked for about 2 hours at the coffee shop. Around 8, they started playing live music there, which made it hard to hear, so we decided to go to dinner. We drove across the shopping center to a good Italian restaurant, and proceeded to continue our long conversation. We ended up staying at the restaurant until they were closing around 11. So we had been talking for about 5 hours. This was surprising to me, and I didn't anticipate liking him, so it was a good surprise. I don't know if it's going to go anywhere, but for now, I'll continue seeing him. He IMed me when he got home, and we chatted online for a bit, but again, I don't like talking online as much as he does. We have tentative scheduled plans for Monday night, after I meet up with one of the guys I was supposed to see today. Another one I'm not anticipating going very well or lasting very long.
I will try to provide more detailed accounts of my dates later, I haven't had much time to do anything online this weekend, so more to come. The first of three was good, and maybe the rest that I'm dreading will be good as well! Negative anticipation = Good dates?
We had scheduled to meet at 5:30 at a coffee shop. I was early, and he was late. He called to let me know that he wasn't going to make it until a little later, so I settled in and had some coffee. He showed up much closer to 6 than to 5:30, but that's ok. I wasn't in a real rush. He was cute, and we talked for about 2 hours at the coffee shop. Around 8, they started playing live music there, which made it hard to hear, so we decided to go to dinner. We drove across the shopping center to a good Italian restaurant, and proceeded to continue our long conversation. We ended up staying at the restaurant until they were closing around 11. So we had been talking for about 5 hours. This was surprising to me, and I didn't anticipate liking him, so it was a good surprise. I don't know if it's going to go anywhere, but for now, I'll continue seeing him. He IMed me when he got home, and we chatted online for a bit, but again, I don't like talking online as much as he does. We have tentative scheduled plans for Monday night, after I meet up with one of the guys I was supposed to see today. Another one I'm not anticipating going very well or lasting very long.
I will try to provide more detailed accounts of my dates later, I haven't had much time to do anything online this weekend, so more to come. The first of three was good, and maybe the rest that I'm dreading will be good as well! Negative anticipation = Good dates?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Be My Valentine.
Happy Valentine's Day to all! I'm so glad today is over, however it was amusing for so many reasons. Besides all the candy and cards students obsess over, Valentine's Day makes students wonder about their teachers' love lives and my 5th period class is way more perceptive than I give them credit for. They were writing Valentine's similes and metaphors as their daily warm up activity, and out of nowhere, the following occurred:
In order to understand today's story I need to flashback to last Thursday's detention with Student M. (There were 3 students total at one point, but at this point he was the only one left)
Student M: Miss B, you're not married are you?
Me: No M, but thanks for asking.
M: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: (feeling slightly uncomfortable) Um, I'm not going to answer that question M, it's time for you to go now anyway.
M: You know, everyone in the class says you like that guy.
Me: What guy? (knowing he's talking about my school crush)
M: You know, the one who brings in the boxes all the time.
Me: I have no idea who you are talking about M, but thanks for telling me.
Today, during the daily 10 minute warm-up, prior to this, the class is silently working:
Student T: You know Miss B, you should date that guy.
Me: T, what are you talking about? And you should be doing your work, not worrying about me.
T: You know the one, with the dark hair.
Student M: Yeah! That's the one I was talking about the other day!
Me: I don't know who you're talking about.
Chorus of many students: You know the one, who brings in the stuff, no he has gray hair, he's old, she already has a boyfriend, no she doesn't! He always comes in, you know him!
Me: (realizing this is going to be problematic) Guys! Enough! I don't know who you are talking about, but really right now, I need you to be focused on your work.
Student D: You do know him, he's the one that always brings in these (holds up the weekly reader that yes, my crush does deliver to my room often).
At this point it would be pointless for me to pretend I didn't know who they were talking about, so I had to play it off as cool as I could...
Me: Oh, you mean my supervisor? (Hoping the word supervisor would mean something more to them than it did!) No... he's my boss, and... (here's where I got stuck..) and, well, no.
Student T: (not backing down) Why don't you go out with him? He's kind of cute. Don't you think?
Me: (turning BEAT RED): T, we are not talking about this. You NEED to do your work.
Chorus: She's BLUSHING. Oh my god! She likes him! Look! She's turning red!!
Me: (Feeling there was no way to properly end this at this point) I am turning red, because this conversation is making me uncomfortable, and it will stop, NOW.
The conversation however continued when my co-worker came over into my room, and I made them repeat what they had told me and got things started again. I somehow managed to mislead them enough to convince them that I did in fact have a boyfriend and was not interested in my crush because he has gray hair (For only 32, he does look a considerable amount older than he is, the graying hair doesn't help). I'm not sure how that whole conversation went. All I know is there was very little Language Arts going on today during 5th period. And I'm praying that he doesn't stop in tomorrow during 5th, like he usually does.
In order to understand today's story I need to flashback to last Thursday's detention with Student M. (There were 3 students total at one point, but at this point he was the only one left)
Student M: Miss B, you're not married are you?
Me: No M, but thanks for asking.
M: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: (feeling slightly uncomfortable) Um, I'm not going to answer that question M, it's time for you to go now anyway.
M: You know, everyone in the class says you like that guy.
Me: What guy? (knowing he's talking about my school crush)
M: You know, the one who brings in the boxes all the time.
Me: I have no idea who you are talking about M, but thanks for telling me.
Today, during the daily 10 minute warm-up, prior to this, the class is silently working:
Student T: You know Miss B, you should date that guy.
Me: T, what are you talking about? And you should be doing your work, not worrying about me.
T: You know the one, with the dark hair.
Student M: Yeah! That's the one I was talking about the other day!
Me: I don't know who you're talking about.
Chorus of many students: You know the one, who brings in the stuff, no he has gray hair, he's old, she already has a boyfriend, no she doesn't! He always comes in, you know him!
Me: (realizing this is going to be problematic) Guys! Enough! I don't know who you are talking about, but really right now, I need you to be focused on your work.
Student D: You do know him, he's the one that always brings in these (holds up the weekly reader that yes, my crush does deliver to my room often).
At this point it would be pointless for me to pretend I didn't know who they were talking about, so I had to play it off as cool as I could...
Me: Oh, you mean my supervisor? (Hoping the word supervisor would mean something more to them than it did!) No... he's my boss, and... (here's where I got stuck..) and, well, no.
Student T: (not backing down) Why don't you go out with him? He's kind of cute. Don't you think?
Me: (turning BEAT RED): T, we are not talking about this. You NEED to do your work.
Chorus: She's BLUSHING. Oh my god! She likes him! Look! She's turning red!!
Me: (Feeling there was no way to properly end this at this point) I am turning red, because this conversation is making me uncomfortable, and it will stop, NOW.
The conversation however continued when my co-worker came over into my room, and I made them repeat what they had told me and got things started again. I somehow managed to mislead them enough to convince them that I did in fact have a boyfriend and was not interested in my crush because he has gray hair (For only 32, he does look a considerable amount older than he is, the graying hair doesn't help). I'm not sure how that whole conversation went. All I know is there was very little Language Arts going on today during 5th period. And I'm praying that he doesn't stop in tomorrow during 5th, like he usually does.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Chin Up
I did hang out with the Chin on Saturday, and as expected it was completely 100% platonic. He came over to my place, and my parents were in California for the weekend, so if ever there was a time that something could have happened.... that would have been it. However, he came over around 5ish, we watched some movies, ate pizza, drank beer, and then he left. Nothing romantic or intimate about it at all. I think it was good for me because before Saturday I had all these unresolved emotions towards the Chin. After seeing him, I'm not really so sure what I was so caught up with in the first place. I'm pretty sure I like the idea of him a lot more than I was actually liking him. So now that it is resolved, I'm quite content moving on. Will that be the last of the the big Chin? I don't know, but I am definitely not interested in trying so hard anymore.
I have two dates scheduled for this weekend. I have one on Friday and one on Sunday. I'm not really looking forward to either one of them, as I don't think either is a good match for me. The one on Friday REALLY wants a girlfriend. And the fact that I know that before going out with him does not speak well for how reserved he's being. Sunday's date seems nice enough, but I'm not sure that I feel any kind of connection to him. We talked on the phone last night, but it wasn't really a great connection on either part. So... we'll see how they go, I'm going into them feeling like I just need to get through them... I guess I'll just have to keep a positive attitude, and eh... chin up, I guess.
I have two dates scheduled for this weekend. I have one on Friday and one on Sunday. I'm not really looking forward to either one of them, as I don't think either is a good match for me. The one on Friday REALLY wants a girlfriend. And the fact that I know that before going out with him does not speak well for how reserved he's being. Sunday's date seems nice enough, but I'm not sure that I feel any kind of connection to him. We talked on the phone last night, but it wasn't really a great connection on either part. So... we'll see how they go, I'm going into them feeling like I just need to get through them... I guess I'll just have to keep a positive attitude, and eh... chin up, I guess.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Dateaholic
Hi. My name is [insert my name here], and I'm a dateaholic.
The first step is admitting you have a problem? I am trying to take a break from dating, really really I am!! But unfortunately, I have a problem. And this problem forces me to seek out dates all the time. So, while the plan was to take a few months for myself, and not date anyone at all... here I am planning dates with about 3 different guys. I have strayed a bit from the traditional match.com and jdate guys (which answers a question posted earlier and I do not just date guys from jdate!) and have moved to some of the newer, quirkier *free* dating sites. These include - OkCupid, PlentyofFish (I've just looked at this one, nothing posted there), and my age old standby for free dating - Craigslist. I am addicted to dating. I'm not sure if I am addicted to the actual process of finding a date, or going on the date, but whatever it is, I am finding it hard to break the habit.
And on top of all that, I'm supposed to hang out with Chin Guy tonight. This will be the first time that we've hung out since the really nice dinner date that apparently scared him away. I think we're hanging out just as friends. I'm not sure. Now that there are a few other guys in the prospective future for dates, he's definitely less appealing as a potential datee, but I'm looking forward to seeing him. I'm sure it will be nothing exciting, and really we'll just watch a movie or get some food... but I'm curious to see how this will all pan out.
I've been considering starting a new blog as well, a food/diet blog (my sister just started one, and it inspired me to), less exciting than dates, but I'll link it to here if I get it up and running. I guess I'm a blogaholic too.
The first step is admitting you have a problem? I am trying to take a break from dating, really really I am!! But unfortunately, I have a problem. And this problem forces me to seek out dates all the time. So, while the plan was to take a few months for myself, and not date anyone at all... here I am planning dates with about 3 different guys. I have strayed a bit from the traditional match.com and jdate guys (which answers a question posted earlier and I do not just date guys from jdate!) and have moved to some of the newer, quirkier *free* dating sites. These include - OkCupid, PlentyofFish (I've just looked at this one, nothing posted there), and my age old standby for free dating - Craigslist. I am addicted to dating. I'm not sure if I am addicted to the actual process of finding a date, or going on the date, but whatever it is, I am finding it hard to break the habit.
And on top of all that, I'm supposed to hang out with Chin Guy tonight. This will be the first time that we've hung out since the really nice dinner date that apparently scared him away. I think we're hanging out just as friends. I'm not sure. Now that there are a few other guys in the prospective future for dates, he's definitely less appealing as a potential datee, but I'm looking forward to seeing him. I'm sure it will be nothing exciting, and really we'll just watch a movie or get some food... but I'm curious to see how this will all pan out.
I've been considering starting a new blog as well, a food/diet blog (my sister just started one, and it inspired me to), less exciting than dates, but I'll link it to here if I get it up and running. I guess I'm a blogaholic too.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Just Friends
So not much has changed in a week's time. I have spoken with the New Guy, but have not seen him. I sent him a text message last Monday morning, basically apologizing for whatever I did that was so offensive (it was said nicer, with much less bitterness, but that's the basic gist). He wrote back almost immediately (keep in mind he hadn't responded to anything since telling me he couldn't hang out on Saturday), and said not to worry, he just was really busy, and he told me he worked a lot. I'm cranky early in the morning, so I took this and responded with a condescending, of course you did tell me that, and how inconsiderate of me to bother you this weekend (when we HAD plans). Ok, I left out the when we had plans part... but again, the basic gist. I spend the remainder of the day, hashing out with my friends why he clearly was not worth my time. 1) younger than me, 2) shorter than me, 3) big chin. Yeah, he had a rather overbearing chin, which could have provided a good blog name, but I didn't want to emphasize the faults of someone I was clearly interested in. It does dominate his facial features though, making the slope of his face crescent moon like. It's not terrible, and obviously didn't stop me from being attracted to him... but something to note, especially when trying to find fault.
So Monday, I came to terms with my friends that really, I should just get over this, and the only other time I ever reacted this way with a guy was with T. And for the same reasons... complete change in behavior coupled with dropping off the face of the earth. At least he had texted me back, so I knew in fact he was alive. Who then calls me, Monday night? Chin guy. I was hesitant to answer because I didn't want to have to defend or apologize for my snarky text earlier that day, but it wasn't brought up. We chatted on the phone like nothing ever happened. Of course this leaves me dumbfounded, and confused about what is going on. I let it go, and on Wednesday sent him a text just saying that I hoped he was having a good time in DC, and was he having fun? He sent back this long, drawn out text message complete with how his week was so busy, and he wasn't going to have any free time anytime soon... so we should just be friends. Uhhhh. what? I don't know where that came from. I sent him a message back saying that was fine with me, although I don't know what that means really, and if he's not interested, he should just come out and tell me, I can take it. He texted me back that he doesn't know what that means either, but with being so busy, he doesn't want me to wait for him. As if I was. I decided this needed to be settled once and for all on the phone, so I called him. We talked for an hour and half, and absolutely nothing was defined. I told him being friends seems silly because if he doesn't have time to date me, why would I want a friend I never saw? And he went on to say how much he likes spending time with me and talking to me, but doesn't think he can give me the time that I want right now. I thought about it, and not once did I ever ask to see him. He always made the plans, so something I did made it seem like I was especially needy. In any case, I don't think I'm dating him, especially since it's been a week and a half since I've seen him. But we're not friends. And I don't think he's not interested, but I don't think he's overwhelmingly into me either.
We texted back and forth a couple of times this weekend. There has been no mention of future plans, and I'm not going to bring it up. I'm not really seeking out new dates at this time, but it's not because I'm waiting for this guy. I'm exhausted from dating all the time, I went through my past 3 years of being single, and I've been dating someone in one form or another for the past 3 years, with less than a month in between.
So Monday, I came to terms with my friends that really, I should just get over this, and the only other time I ever reacted this way with a guy was with T. And for the same reasons... complete change in behavior coupled with dropping off the face of the earth. At least he had texted me back, so I knew in fact he was alive. Who then calls me, Monday night? Chin guy. I was hesitant to answer because I didn't want to have to defend or apologize for my snarky text earlier that day, but it wasn't brought up. We chatted on the phone like nothing ever happened. Of course this leaves me dumbfounded, and confused about what is going on. I let it go, and on Wednesday sent him a text just saying that I hoped he was having a good time in DC, and was he having fun? He sent back this long, drawn out text message complete with how his week was so busy, and he wasn't going to have any free time anytime soon... so we should just be friends. Uhhhh. what? I don't know where that came from. I sent him a message back saying that was fine with me, although I don't know what that means really, and if he's not interested, he should just come out and tell me, I can take it. He texted me back that he doesn't know what that means either, but with being so busy, he doesn't want me to wait for him. As if I was. I decided this needed to be settled once and for all on the phone, so I called him. We talked for an hour and half, and absolutely nothing was defined. I told him being friends seems silly because if he doesn't have time to date me, why would I want a friend I never saw? And he went on to say how much he likes spending time with me and talking to me, but doesn't think he can give me the time that I want right now. I thought about it, and not once did I ever ask to see him. He always made the plans, so something I did made it seem like I was especially needy. In any case, I don't think I'm dating him, especially since it's been a week and a half since I've seen him. But we're not friends. And I don't think he's not interested, but I don't think he's overwhelmingly into me either.
We texted back and forth a couple of times this weekend. There has been no mention of future plans, and I'm not going to bring it up. I'm not really seeking out new dates at this time, but it's not because I'm waiting for this guy. I'm exhausted from dating all the time, I went through my past 3 years of being single, and I've been dating someone in one form or another for the past 3 years, with less than a month in between.
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