Tonight was date number 4 with CK. The date itself was wonderful. Really and truly a fantastic time was had. I drove into the city, picked him up (we could have walked but it was raining rather hard at intervals during the evening), went to an amazing concert, and then I dropped him off back home. There's little detail in between that is relevant. A little of that awkward "it's too early for us to be really comfortable" kind of casual touching (i.e. his hand on my leg during some of the songs - yet only to be removed as soon as the song is over to clap), and some kissing, but nothing disgustingly PDA-ish.
In between the opening and the headliner, we talked, and I finally felt like we were getting to know each other better. He asked me some strange questions about if I thought children should be allowed to watch tv, and we talked about our families, plans for the up coming weeks, although I don't know how much time we'll get to see each other in November. I'm heading to Boston for 5 days the second weekend, and he's going to China for 10 days around Thanksgiving. But I do think things will progress further before any of that even happens. After the show, he held my hand as we walked to the car, which was new... and nice, I guess. I'm not a huge fan of hand holding, but it's not a deal breaker. I drove him home, we kissed in the car for a little bit, and then I left. No "see you around" this time - although there was something equally weird and awkward about the goodbye, although it wasn't enough to stick in my brain.
Yes, I believe he's still interested, and nothing was meant by the evasive "see you around" last time or this date's equally awkward goodbye that I can't remember - except that it was awkward. And even if he's interested, there are still some things that need to be discussed. One of those things being the girlfriend - whom shall now be known as the big fat pink elephant, as deemed by a co-worker. Nothing about her has been brought up. He doesn't bring her up and I still haven't found a comfortable way to ask what the deal is with that. However, he did offer to make me a mix cd, which in middle school terms, means we're getting pretty serious. Yet, a lot of this seems to be moving at the pace of a middle school relationship - we've held hands, kissed (nothing else physically yet), and now I'll have a mix cd to show for it. Maybe next time I can get my mom to drive me to the mall to meet him while walking around and not doing anything. But until then, there's still the big fat pink elephant that I need to get out of the picture.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
See you around.
So a third date with the guy my mom set me up with happened last night (time for a blog name: Guy my mom set me up with will here on out be known as CK). Let's backtrack first to earlier in the week when I went to dinner with my parent's and grandmother. My grandmother is especially invested in this working out because CK's mom is my grandmother's landlady this summer. My grandmother always asks me how it's going and this time she told me a story about how she ran into someone who knows both my grandmother and CK's mom. My grandmother proceeds to tell this mutual friend that her granddaughter (me) and her landlady's son (CK) are dating. I freaked out when she told me this story, because honestly I don't want it to get back to CK that I'm going around telling people that we're dating, when we've only been out on 3 dates so far. My grandmother didn't see the problem with this - we are going on dates - therefore in her mind, we are dating. Oh the intricacies of a word.
Last night, I was supposed to have a hayride with school for the faculty. I was looking forward to it (not because my crush was going - because he was not!), but I wasn't really heartbroken when they canceled it due to impending thunderstorms. I had a hell of a week this past week, and could really have used a quiet low-key night. When CK and I talked earlier in the week, he mentioned getting together over this upcoming weekend, but I knew my week was jam packed and the weekend was as well. I had kind of given him a non-definitive answer on whether or not I could see him. We had played phone tag Wednesday night, and Thursday night - neither one of us ever there when the other called, so by Friday I had no idea what his weekend plans were either. When the hayride was canceled, I sent him a quick text letting him know that I was in fact going to be around Friday night and didn't have any plans if he was free. He responded almost immediately that he was and would call me when he got out of work. Friday was a busy day because on Thursday, I had bought a new car, and Friday was spent dealing with all the paperwork. I had to return my rental car (my old car is not in drivable condition), drive the guy from the dealership back (he brought my rental car), finish signing my paperwork, stop by my aunt's to show my aunt and my grandma my new car, go to my other grandma's for dinner, and then eventually go out. When I got to my aunt's house, I realized that my wallet was missing, and I had a mini-meltdown. Turns out I had left it in the rental car, and thankfully it was still there. My aunt and grandma (not the one who knows CK's mom) wanted me to tell them about CK, but he happened to call right then, and having missed his calls all week, I didn't want to miss this one. I quickly said goodbye to my grandma and aunt, and as I was getting on the phone, my aunt says loudly, "have a good date!" At least you can't see someone turn beet red over the phone. We decided a low-key night was best for both of us, and after I picked up my wallet, I scraped the rest of the plans and just went over to his place to rent a movie.
I got there, CK wanted to check out the car (which I am proud to say is a lovely thing to be seen), and then we walked over to the video store. We were going to rent Knocked Up, but it was taken during the time we were deciding if it was worth it or not (since I had already seen it, but was willing to see it again). We decided to rent City of God, which was very brutally violent and very graphic. It was extremely well done, and I think I really liked it, but it's hard to tell with a movie like that. We watched the whole thing, start to finish. We drank beer, and sat awkwardly close to each other, and I was very aware of his presence the entire time during the movie. Towards the very end of the movie, he put his arm around me. That's all that happened during the movie. After the movie, he kissed me and there was some cuddling and kissing on the couch. It was completely innocent, and nothing more than kissing happened over the 5 hour span that I was there. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't going to do much more than that anyway, being that he has a picture of his girlfriend in the room we were making out in. Granted, I've seen this picture before, which is how I knew it was his girlfriend. But to be kissing someone who has a girlfriend, with her picture staring me down, was something I had no comfort in. It was still a nice evening, cuddling and kissing while the rain was pouring down outside. It was cozy.
While we were talking, he kind of invited me to a concert on Wednesday, but never really asked me if I wanted to go. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that yet. He made me tea before I had to drive home, and while I was drinking the tea and waking myself up to drive home, he asked me what my plan was. My plan? for... tonight? for the week? for life? He didn't specify. So I took the immediate plan, and said I was going to go home because it was late. He agreed that was a good idea, and said there would be other nights. Other nights for what? He walked me downstairs, kissed me goodbye (and it was a very nice kiss - which he commented on), and then said, "See you around." What kind of goodbye is that? See you around? I'd love to know what he meant by that. My friends think he was nervous and didn't know what to say. I think it could have been a weird brush off. I'm not sure.
Will there be more to come with CK? I'm thinking about texting him about the concert on Wednesday because the venue was changed and he apparently didn't know about that, but I'm not sure that I want to go. But maybe, I'll see him around.
There's little else going on, my crush is still there and a good distraction at school, but nothing new to speak of in that area. My life is busy, but relatively boring. Come December, when I'm done graduate school, I hope all that will change.
Last night, I was supposed to have a hayride with school for the faculty. I was looking forward to it (not because my crush was going - because he was not!), but I wasn't really heartbroken when they canceled it due to impending thunderstorms. I had a hell of a week this past week, and could really have used a quiet low-key night. When CK and I talked earlier in the week, he mentioned getting together over this upcoming weekend, but I knew my week was jam packed and the weekend was as well. I had kind of given him a non-definitive answer on whether or not I could see him. We had played phone tag Wednesday night, and Thursday night - neither one of us ever there when the other called, so by Friday I had no idea what his weekend plans were either. When the hayride was canceled, I sent him a quick text letting him know that I was in fact going to be around Friday night and didn't have any plans if he was free. He responded almost immediately that he was and would call me when he got out of work. Friday was a busy day because on Thursday, I had bought a new car, and Friday was spent dealing with all the paperwork. I had to return my rental car (my old car is not in drivable condition), drive the guy from the dealership back (he brought my rental car), finish signing my paperwork, stop by my aunt's to show my aunt and my grandma my new car, go to my other grandma's for dinner, and then eventually go out. When I got to my aunt's house, I realized that my wallet was missing, and I had a mini-meltdown. Turns out I had left it in the rental car, and thankfully it was still there. My aunt and grandma (not the one who knows CK's mom) wanted me to tell them about CK, but he happened to call right then, and having missed his calls all week, I didn't want to miss this one. I quickly said goodbye to my grandma and aunt, and as I was getting on the phone, my aunt says loudly, "have a good date!" At least you can't see someone turn beet red over the phone. We decided a low-key night was best for both of us, and after I picked up my wallet, I scraped the rest of the plans and just went over to his place to rent a movie.
I got there, CK wanted to check out the car (which I am proud to say is a lovely thing to be seen), and then we walked over to the video store. We were going to rent Knocked Up, but it was taken during the time we were deciding if it was worth it or not (since I had already seen it, but was willing to see it again). We decided to rent City of God, which was very brutally violent and very graphic. It was extremely well done, and I think I really liked it, but it's hard to tell with a movie like that. We watched the whole thing, start to finish. We drank beer, and sat awkwardly close to each other, and I was very aware of his presence the entire time during the movie. Towards the very end of the movie, he put his arm around me. That's all that happened during the movie. After the movie, he kissed me and there was some cuddling and kissing on the couch. It was completely innocent, and nothing more than kissing happened over the 5 hour span that I was there. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't going to do much more than that anyway, being that he has a picture of his girlfriend in the room we were making out in. Granted, I've seen this picture before, which is how I knew it was his girlfriend. But to be kissing someone who has a girlfriend, with her picture staring me down, was something I had no comfort in. It was still a nice evening, cuddling and kissing while the rain was pouring down outside. It was cozy.
While we were talking, he kind of invited me to a concert on Wednesday, but never really asked me if I wanted to go. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about that yet. He made me tea before I had to drive home, and while I was drinking the tea and waking myself up to drive home, he asked me what my plan was. My plan? for... tonight? for the week? for life? He didn't specify. So I took the immediate plan, and said I was going to go home because it was late. He agreed that was a good idea, and said there would be other nights. Other nights for what? He walked me downstairs, kissed me goodbye (and it was a very nice kiss - which he commented on), and then said, "See you around." What kind of goodbye is that? See you around? I'd love to know what he meant by that. My friends think he was nervous and didn't know what to say. I think it could have been a weird brush off. I'm not sure.
Will there be more to come with CK? I'm thinking about texting him about the concert on Wednesday because the venue was changed and he apparently didn't know about that, but I'm not sure that I want to go. But maybe, I'll see him around.
There's little else going on, my crush is still there and a good distraction at school, but nothing new to speak of in that area. My life is busy, but relatively boring. Come December, when I'm done graduate school, I hope all that will change.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Double Date
On Friday I went on a double date with the guy from Monday. I went with my best friend and her fiance and the guy. It was strange to have a second date as a double date, but it turned out fine enough. My friends drove into the city, and we picked up my date on the way. I was pretty nervous about my friends meeting this guy, especially because I still don't know the direction this is going in. My friends also have really never thought any of the guys I've dated were really good enough for me... so I always worry about what they think (not that it's ever stopped me before).
Anyway, we picked him up at his place and headed to Northern Liberties. We went my favorite bar/bowling alley, and had dinner. Dinner went really well. There was some time spent the four of us talking, and then there was some time spent talking just the two of us. We talked about everything from politics to music, and had a good time with my friends as well. We got around to bowling after dinner, and I sucked completely. I'm not a very good bowler on a good day, but on Friday I sucked worse than ever - all of us did actually. Well my date was the best of all of us, which I think was a good thing. I chalk that up to Wii bowling. I must invest in one so I can improve my bowling scores.
After 2 atrocious games of bowling, we hung out for a while at the bowling alley and then headed over to Center City for some delicious gelato. We were a good foursome, we each spent time talking. He talked to my friend while I talked to her fiance, he talked to the fiance while my friend and I hung out, and he and I got to spend a good amount of time together as well. We stayed at the gelateria until they closed. We drove my date back to his place. This was the part I was worried about. Should I walk him to his door? Should I say goodbye to him in the car? I decided to walk him out. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the lips, a little more romantic than last time, but still not a "make-out" kiss (which was a good thing - my friends were waiting in the car). He said he'd like to get together again, and I told him to call me (which I don't do!) and he said he assured me he definitely would... whatever that means.
What I'm struggling most with is deciding whether this is going to go in a friend direction or a relationship direction. My friends want me to invite him to a hayride we're going on next week, but I think I'd like to have another one on one date before another group date. A group date could push things into a more friends-only category. If we could hang out one on one, I could see better where I think this going. I'll just wait and see when I hear from him, and decide what I'm going to then. But so far so good... maybe mother does know best.
Anyway, we picked him up at his place and headed to Northern Liberties. We went my favorite bar/bowling alley, and had dinner. Dinner went really well. There was some time spent the four of us talking, and then there was some time spent talking just the two of us. We talked about everything from politics to music, and had a good time with my friends as well. We got around to bowling after dinner, and I sucked completely. I'm not a very good bowler on a good day, but on Friday I sucked worse than ever - all of us did actually. Well my date was the best of all of us, which I think was a good thing. I chalk that up to Wii bowling. I must invest in one so I can improve my bowling scores.
After 2 atrocious games of bowling, we hung out for a while at the bowling alley and then headed over to Center City for some delicious gelato. We were a good foursome, we each spent time talking. He talked to my friend while I talked to her fiance, he talked to the fiance while my friend and I hung out, and he and I got to spend a good amount of time together as well. We stayed at the gelateria until they closed. We drove my date back to his place. This was the part I was worried about. Should I walk him to his door? Should I say goodbye to him in the car? I decided to walk him out. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the lips, a little more romantic than last time, but still not a "make-out" kiss (which was a good thing - my friends were waiting in the car). He said he'd like to get together again, and I told him to call me (which I don't do!) and he said he assured me he definitely would... whatever that means.
What I'm struggling most with is deciding whether this is going to go in a friend direction or a relationship direction. My friends want me to invite him to a hayride we're going on next week, but I think I'd like to have another one on one date before another group date. A group date could push things into a more friends-only category. If we could hang out one on one, I could see better where I think this going. I'll just wait and see when I hear from him, and decide what I'm going to then. But so far so good... maybe mother does know best.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Deja Vu
I've been on this date before. Well maybe not really, but I've definitely been in this position before. Here's how it all started...
My mom met his mom down the shore. His mom started talking to my mom, they both discovered that they had children of the same age, who were both single (or so they both said), living in the same area. They decided we should meet. My mom came home from the shore and insisted that I look him up on Myspace. I did, and his profile clearly states that he's in a relationship. Ok, well nevermind. I forgot all about this, until my mom brought him up again a few weeks later, telling me that she talked to his mother and he's not in fact really in a relationship. She says that I should really email him... ok, fine. So I send a weird email to him, because really what can you say when it clearly states on his page that he's in a relationship? I put some stuff out there about having recently moved back home, blah blah blah. It was a strained, awkward attempt at an introduction.
He emails me back and sort of explains that his relationship is in transition, and definitely open, and he's available to meet new people. I'm not sure really what any of this means, but I think he's cute based on his pictures, we seem to have some similar interests, and that's enough for me to at least go on one date with the guy. He called me on Wednesday night of this past week, and we talked for about an hour. I was definitely looking forward to tonight's date, despite the fact that there was a possibility that he might still be involved in a relationship.
We met up at his apartment in Center City. I know, not a smart move on my part, but we only met there because he has a driveway, which is killer for the city. I didn't go into his place, just purely used it for the driveway. The first thing I thought when I saw him was that he was definitely cuter than his picture. Not a bad start. We walked over the South Street, and ate dinner outdoors. It's nice to be able to eat outside in October, but to be honest, I'm getting a little tired of the heat and am ready for some cool autumnal weather. The conversation was good throughout, and there are little nuances he has that reminds me completely of D (mainly he has a Wii and an ex (or non-ex in this case) still in the picture). We sat and talked for a good while, and the conversation ran smoothly. A good date, for sure. But there's still this feeling of is this guy single or interested or anything, hanging over my head.
After dinner we walk back to his place (of course we do, my car is there!). He asks me if I want to come in and see his place. Hmm, this might get interesting - I think. But really, all he does is show me around his apartment, barely. And then takes me on a short tour of the church that is attached to his apartment. It's totally torn out on the inside, being renovated. And he has the whole living quarters plus church all to himself. Add the factor of the driveway onto that equation and it's a pretty sweet set-up. So we hang out in the church for a while, and talk at the bottom of the stairs... and finally, the girlfriend comes up. I definitely brought this up... somehow. He mentioned a girl or something, and I said something to the effect of "oh is that the girl you're kind of in a relationship with?" He responds in the affirmative. And there is a bit of awkward explaining as to why they are not together, mostly it has to do with the fact that she moved to Nova Scotia, and he did not.
We parted well, an awkward hug which I laughed off saying something to the effect of how these things are always weird. Then he walked me out, gave me a kiss on the lips, and we agreed to another date possibly this coming weekend.
So, this leaves me in a similar position as I've been in before. Do I want to get invested in a guy who is clearly still involved elsewhere? I am going to see him again, so I guess I will play it as it comes. I don't ever like playing second best, but we'll see how it goes.
As far as the first set up ever by my mom, not so bad. I'd definitely let her set me again.
My mom met his mom down the shore. His mom started talking to my mom, they both discovered that they had children of the same age, who were both single (or so they both said), living in the same area. They decided we should meet. My mom came home from the shore and insisted that I look him up on Myspace. I did, and his profile clearly states that he's in a relationship. Ok, well nevermind. I forgot all about this, until my mom brought him up again a few weeks later, telling me that she talked to his mother and he's not in fact really in a relationship. She says that I should really email him... ok, fine. So I send a weird email to him, because really what can you say when it clearly states on his page that he's in a relationship? I put some stuff out there about having recently moved back home, blah blah blah. It was a strained, awkward attempt at an introduction.
He emails me back and sort of explains that his relationship is in transition, and definitely open, and he's available to meet new people. I'm not sure really what any of this means, but I think he's cute based on his pictures, we seem to have some similar interests, and that's enough for me to at least go on one date with the guy. He called me on Wednesday night of this past week, and we talked for about an hour. I was definitely looking forward to tonight's date, despite the fact that there was a possibility that he might still be involved in a relationship.
We met up at his apartment in Center City. I know, not a smart move on my part, but we only met there because he has a driveway, which is killer for the city. I didn't go into his place, just purely used it for the driveway. The first thing I thought when I saw him was that he was definitely cuter than his picture. Not a bad start. We walked over the South Street, and ate dinner outdoors. It's nice to be able to eat outside in October, but to be honest, I'm getting a little tired of the heat and am ready for some cool autumnal weather. The conversation was good throughout, and there are little nuances he has that reminds me completely of D (mainly he has a Wii and an ex (or non-ex in this case) still in the picture). We sat and talked for a good while, and the conversation ran smoothly. A good date, for sure. But there's still this feeling of is this guy single or interested or anything, hanging over my head.
After dinner we walk back to his place (of course we do, my car is there!). He asks me if I want to come in and see his place. Hmm, this might get interesting - I think. But really, all he does is show me around his apartment, barely. And then takes me on a short tour of the church that is attached to his apartment. It's totally torn out on the inside, being renovated. And he has the whole living quarters plus church all to himself. Add the factor of the driveway onto that equation and it's a pretty sweet set-up. So we hang out in the church for a while, and talk at the bottom of the stairs... and finally, the girlfriend comes up. I definitely brought this up... somehow. He mentioned a girl or something, and I said something to the effect of "oh is that the girl you're kind of in a relationship with?" He responds in the affirmative. And there is a bit of awkward explaining as to why they are not together, mostly it has to do with the fact that she moved to Nova Scotia, and he did not.
We parted well, an awkward hug which I laughed off saying something to the effect of how these things are always weird. Then he walked me out, gave me a kiss on the lips, and we agreed to another date possibly this coming weekend.
So, this leaves me in a similar position as I've been in before. Do I want to get invested in a guy who is clearly still involved elsewhere? I am going to see him again, so I guess I will play it as it comes. I don't ever like playing second best, but we'll see how it goes.
As far as the first set up ever by my mom, not so bad. I'd definitely let her set me again.
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