Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The End

The Israeli has left for now, and Monday was probably the most emotionally draining day I have spent in many years. So many rounds of crying, I surprised even myself.

The day did not start well. I was irritated with him because he sent me a text message on Monday morning at 5am saying that he just finished packing, was going to sleep for a few hours, and would call me at 1 to make plans for the day. I knew that if he only slept for 3 hours or so, he would be exhausted all day, and not fun to be around. So I sent him a text message back around 9ish saying that I was going to the gym and for him to call me when he was up, but if he was going to be tired like he was on Saturday, I'd rather not. I don't know what I was expecting him to say or do really, but he called me at 1, and said he was running some errands and then he was going to go back to his apartment and we'd get together at 6. Oh no. I did not put aside my whole memorial day to wait until 6 to see him. We got into our first and only argument because I made it clear that I was not happy with that situation. He retaliated with the fact that I had told him that I didn't want to see him if he was tired, and he was going to take a nap so he wouldn't be. I can't really blame him, but in the moment I was angry, and I made some comment about why does he care anyway if I gave up my day for him - he's still leaving the next day regardless. He got really angry when I said that, and said that if I honestly thought he didn't care about me or my plans, then it was nice knowing me, and that's that. I thought he was actually going to hang up on me, but he didn't... and we worked through the issue, and I wound up going over there at 6.

I was unprepared for how emotional I was going to get when I got there. I teared up immediately, and did not set a very good mood initially for the evening. We laid in bed for a while, just talking, and me being weepy and ridiculous. At one point, the Israeli asked me if I really didn't know how much he cared about me. I said that I knew he cared about being intimate with me, but how much he cared... no I don't actually KNOW that he cares about me. Then, he got really upset, and teary and said that it really hurt him that I didn't know that he cared, and if he was only interested in sex do I think he would've done so much just for sex. To be perfectly honest, I don't know. And I wasn't trying to hurt him by saying that, but he kept me pretty separate from the rest of his life here in Brooklyn - which to me doesn't show that he cares very much. When I care about someone, I want them to be as involved in my life as possible. He says that he always invited me out and I always said no, but I only remember saying no once or twice because I actually had other things I had to do. After about 2 hours of teary and emotionally draining conversations (in which the Israeli told me if we both were still single when we were 30, we should get married... 30 is only 3 years and a few months away for me, I'm not in any rush to be married by the time I'm 30, or even at all - at least not the Israeli.)

We went to dinner at a really interesting restaurant in Park Slope, which I had been set on going to. It's an Oaxacan restaurant called Chilies and Chocolate, which serves Mexican style dishes with chocolate and chillies infused into their dishes (so surprising based on the name, isn't it.) We got there at 8:30, and the place looked empty. Maybe 3 or 4 couples eating there, and about 6 open tables. I was surprised when they told us it would be a 20 minute wait because it was literally empty. But the hostess was gracious enough to explain that the restaurant had been slammed with business all day, and the kitchen really needed a break. She also informed us that it is a BYOB restaurant (another huge plus for this place) and pointed us in the right direction of the 7th Ave Wine & Liquor Co. It was a great night, so we walked down to the shop, bought a bottle of wine (and the Israeli bought me a bottle of wine because I saw one there that I thought looked cool - yes I judge my wine based on the bottle), and sat outside the restaurant for the 20 mins until our table was ready. During that time, the Israeli got a phone call from a friend who he had made plans with for dinner already. I had not been happy about this in the beginning, it was supposed to be OUR night, and had voiced that during the argument we had earlier. He had said that he didn't mind cancelling plans with her, and I thought he had done so. He apparently couldn't get in touch with her because she had lost her phone, blah blah blah, and puts me on the spot by asking me while she's on the phone if I mind if she joins us for dinner. Now I know how my mom felt when I used to ask her if friends could eat dinner over or stay over in front of them... I of course said I didn't mind, and honestly at that point it wasn't such a big deal. We went back to the restaurant, and since our party had changed from 2 to 3, we were sat in the back tent, which had a great ambiance. The Israeli went on a bit of an ordering spree, saying he wanted to try it all, so 2 appetizers (one that was supposed to include fried grasshoppers, but apparently they had run out... it was good anyway.) and 2 entrees, and a dessert later... we had a large dinner (which, despite the name, you don't really taste the chocolate as you would expect to, it's not sweetened, so it's really just a smooth flavor that cuts the spiciness down a bit). His friend showed up not long after we ordered, and he introduced me as his girlfriend. Actually this is exactly how he introduced me... "This is my girlfriend, E, who I am leaving." What? His friend actually had such a hard time understanding my name because there was so many other words around it. I looked at him and said, "Really, this is E, would have been sufficient." And then had to introduce myself to the girl anyway, on top of all of that. Dinner was fine, I had a no Hebrew or Russian speaking rule (since both the Israeli and his friend are fluent in both), and I think that hindered the conversation a bit, because while they both speak English well enough, I'm sure there is no way they would have spoken it if I weren't there.

We were at dinner until 10:30, at which point we had to go back to the Israeli's apartment. His boss was coming to pick up his boxes so they could be shipped back to Israel, and he really hadn't finished packing. His boss didn't show up until 11:15 or so, and I was getting nervous because I knew I had to work the next day, and didn't know how I would do that on no sleep. His boss and the Israel took the boxes over to the office and I stayed back to take a nap. The Israeli woke me up about 2 hours later, when he had really finished packing, and all the stuff had been moved out to where it needed to go. Eventually, we got back to my apartment at 2am, and promptly went to bed. I wasn't very tired because I had just taken a 2 hour nap, and had fully woken up from it... so we didn't actually go to sleep until around 4. In that time, there was another round of tears and me getting really upset knowing that in a few hours, he would be gone. We slept from 4 - 5, and then we had to get up so he could leave by 5:30 to make it to the airport on time. The day before (with all my extra free time) I had packed him a breakfast of fruits, cheese, and a variety of nuts for him to bring with him on the plane. I also bought him Brooklyn Follies by Paul Auster, since after we read Oracle Night, Auster will always remind me of him. I walked him outside (because nothing is more irritating then saying goodbye with the awful buzzer on my door - and he had his backpack in my car anyway.) I gave him the book and the breakfast, and we said goodbye. It was less painful and sad than I thought, I was also extremely tired and couldn't wait to get back to sleep for one more hour (making a total of 4 for the night).

Before leaving for school that morning, I checked my phone and saw I had 2 missed calls from the Israeli while I was in the shower. I called him back, and thankfully got him right before he got on the plane. He called to thank me for everything, and he said he'd call me while he was in California. If he does, that's fine, but I'm pretty sure this story is over. They were 4 good months, and I'm surprised I was as upset as I was, because I rarely have ever cried over a guy. I'll miss him for sure, and I'm in my own home stretch in the city. I have just about 3 months exactly left here, and I'm getting sad about moving.

I have no dates planned any time soon. I do have some interviews scheduled for jobs next year, and my first of two summer courses for grad school started yesterday. So that will keep me busy (yet uninteresting) for the time being. It's not the end of the blog, I'm sure, but for now there might be a lack in material.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

One Year

Today marks one year since I started the blog, just out of a 5 month relationship (not too much longer than the one I'm just getting out now...) and ready to meet new people. Well, I did just that. This year has brought out the best in me and maybe a little bit of the worst. But no one can say I didn't make the most of my time in New York! Maybe just for fun, I'll have the Israeli wear some make-up tomorrow, we'll go up to Central Park, and he can make racially inappropriate comments as we walk down Broadway. It can be an annual thing. I actually did take him to my friend's bar on Saturday night, which is where the atrocious make-up date ended, and that would have been one year exactly from that date. I have to say though that I think my friend approved more of the Israeli than she did of the make-up wearing racist.

So, I've been hesitant to post about my final weekend with the Israeli, because I really am sad about it. As much as you know that someone is not going to be around and you plan for their departure, it still doesn't stop the sadness from creeping up on you out of nowhere.

We spent the day together yesterday, and we will do the same tomorrow. Yesterday was good fun. He called me in the morning around 10, which surprised me because the Israeli is very rarely up before noon on a non-working day. I was actually still in bed recovering from the night before, but not really sleeping. His brother had just left and he called me right away. He was going to go pick up his glasses and then wanted to come over to my place. I went to the gym and by the time I got back, he was waiting outside my apartment (or rather loitering on the next door neighbor's stoop - times like these would be nice to have a stoop, although my crazy landlord would never let anyone sit on it - it'd probably be alarmed and such). He came up to the apartment, and we chatted with my roommate for a bit as she was getting ready to go for a run. After she left and I showered, we ended up spending a majority of the day in bed. He was really tired from having not slept the night before, and we napped on and off for about 3 and a half hours.

After we got up, we went to Joya for dinner. In the 4 months I have been dating the Israeli it was the first time we had gone to Thai food - and not even my neighborhood Thai place where they know me. It was good, we got to sit outside, and went early enough that there was no wait and it was not crowded at all. After dinner, we went into Manhattan to visit my friend who was bartending. Since she's been hearing about the Israeli first hand since our very first date, I didn't think it would be fair if she didn't get to meet him. I'm pretty sure she liked him well enough, as I think most of my friends have. We stayed for an hour or so, and he was trying very hard not to fall asleep at the bar. We went back to Brooklyn, I picked up my laundry from my apartment and then drove us over to his place (his apartment = free laundry). I did my laundry, and he was trying to set up some arrangements for his travels over the next few months. He is flying out on Tuesday to California where he will meet up with his brother. They are traveling along the west coast for a few weeks, then his brother goes back to Israel, and the Israeli will travel to South America - Peru, Bolivia, and Brazil. Then he comes back to North America and will spend time in Canada, and then taking the train cross-country from Seattle back to New York. He will be here for 3 days in August... I've already told him he can stay here (that is my sadness talking when I say that - and then I remember how much he irritates me sometimes!). Anyway, back to last night, I ended up falling asleep while doing my laundry/reading a book. He finished my laundry for me, which I thought was really sweet, and then came to bed a few hours later. For someone who was so tired when we were out, he found plenty of energy when he got home.

In the morning, we got up relatively early because the Israeli was going hiking today with some of the students from his work. I got to meet 2 of them, which marks the only 2 people I have met that the Israeli has introduced me to. I was supposed to go over tonight, but my parents and brother came up to the city to see a show, and I got back later than I thought I would. I called the Israeli on my way home, and he wasn't back from hiking yet anyway. So tomorrow morning we'll meet up instead. I can use a little rest, and some time to gather my thoughts on how this will all end. One day left until the Israeli dating stories will end (that is until August possibly....)

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Perfect Day

It was rainy... and cold - being that it is nearing the end of May. But today was probably the closest I will get to what I imagined my perfect day in the city to be like.

I guess it started last night, when the Israeli came over. We hadn't seen each other since last Friday when he came to the Brooklyn Bridge with my students and me, and that wasn't exactly our most intimate experience. As soon as he got to my apartment, I felt sad and happy and really really anxious. We decided to watch a movie, although not much of the movie got watched and we ended up just stopping it after about an hour and going to bed. We had a really nice night, and my plan was to get up an hour before he did, so I could go to the gym. We both ended up waking up around 10 (I had been up at 9, and decided it was too early to go to the gym, so I went back to sleep). He tried keeping me in bed, and succeeded until about 11, when I did actually get up and go to the gym, leaving him alone in my bedroom. This is not something that I do lightly. I am not a very trusting person when it comes to leaving someone alone with all my stuff... although the thought didn't cross my mind until I was about halfway through my workout. I was definitely relieved to find him back asleep when I came back from the gym.

We showered and went to a delicious brunch in my neighborhood. It's a middle eastern restaurant, so they have middle eastern style brunches, which made the Israeli very happy. We had such a nice time just talking and sharing food, and I was trying very hard to keep the feeling of dread that this will be one of the last days I have with him at bay. He had to go to the eye doctor after brunch to get new glasses, and I was not planning on going with him. The place was all the way down in Brooklyn, off of Ave. U on the F. After brunch the plan was he was going to go to the eye doctor's and I was going to go home. He asked me if I wanted to come with him though, as we were finishing brunch. Being the cynical, jaded girl that I am, my immediate response was - I'm not driving you down there. He looked surprised, and said, No, I just wanted you to come with me, for company. I know I put my guard up when I need to keep myself from getting too emotionally attached to someone, and I'm pretty sure my immediate thought that he was using me stems somewhere from that. Feeling really bad about what I said, I of course agreed to go with him. It was a complex train ride, as the downtown F is not stopping at the station near my apartment this weekend, and it complicated things. We had a nice train ride down though, once we did in fact get on the train.

At the eye doctor (more like an eyeglasses store), I was the only person in the place that did not speak Russian. It was very confusing and a little intimidating. At one point I was getting hot water for my tea, from one of those cooler dispensers, and I (being a genius) could not figure out the contraption to get the hot water (there was a knob and a button...) the woman next to me started telling me how to do it in Russian. I, thankfully, figured it out at the same time, so I just smiled a thank you at her, and pretended like I understood. It was an interesting experience. But it was fun, helping the Israeli pick out new frames (which are practically identical to the ones he has now), and just spending the day together. After he got his frames, and we were walking back to the train, he stopped to get us some ice cream. It was a little cold to be eating ice cream outside, but it was so sweet, I couldn't say no.

He took the train halfway back with me, and when he got off, he said he'd call me when his brother left - that's next Friday. I know we're planning on spending a couple of days during the weekend next weekend, Sunday night - Tuesday pretty much. He leaves Tuesday morning, and then that's it. I can't believe it's been nearly 4 months, and I can't believe I am as sad as I am. Today was not really a noteworthy day of any sort, but it was exactly what I wanted.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Care Bears and Beer

Last night I had yet another date that was not with the Israeli. I am getting a little upset that I haven't really heard from him in his last few weeks here, but more on that later.

Last night I went on a date with a guy I met through the Onion personals. He seemed like he might be a little effeminate for me, but I wasn't going to pass on the opportunity to go on an interesting date. Through one of his emails he confessed that he owned 4 Care Bears. Which I guess could be considered cool... somehow. Anyway, we had a decent phone conversation on Monday night, and decided to meet up for a drink on Wednesday.

When I got off the train on my way home from work yesterday, there were apocalyptic conditions outside. An entire part of a tree had broken off due to the high winds and was lying in the middle of my street, not to mention all the debris and smaller branches from other trees whirling about. I was really tempted to cancel the date, because while a little rain doesn't bother me, it did not seem like it would be good "going out" weather. He text messaged me to see if I still wanted to go out, and decided why not... There was nothing else I was going to be doing besides going to the gym and just hanging out in my apartment.

We met up in Williamsburg, at a bar that I was supposed to go to on a date at the end of last summer (I think it was A Summer's End). I was walking down the street towards the bar, and I see this guy looking at me kind of funny. I looked back, and kept walking, but then realized that the guy looked similarly to the guy I was supposed to be meeting, and maybe it was him. What an awkward moment when you stop and stare at someone that you don't know if it's the right person or not. He said something along the lines of, I think you're looking for me. And I responded with something very intelligent like, Oh am I? He was indeed the guy I was meeting. The bar was too crowded (again) this time due to Trivia and not Bingo, but regardless, there were no seats, and it would not have been a good environment to have a conversation. So, we went down the street to the bar that I went to on the Summer's End date, which was again quiet and relatively empty.

It was a good date. We had a few beers, heard some good tunes, and most importantly, talked. We talked for a while, and he reminds me of a combination of 2 guys that I've dated over the past year. One is a guy from before the blog and the other is D. A strange combination, but has good qualities of both, and not so much the bad qualities. One way he reminds me of D? He's currently living with his ex-girlfriend. WHAT? Ok. He is moving out June 1st. But still.... He assured me that he would not be in contact with his ex once he does move out. I don't really care about that, but they've been broken up for a few months from what he's told me, and he still hasn't moved out. It's a little strange. But he seems like a decent enough guy, and at least I don't know the ex this time. We stayed at the bar until about 11, which is fairly late for a school night and me being all the way out in Williamsburg. We walked over to the train together, and we had to part ways to go down to opposite sides of the G train. He went in for the hug and kiss, but I definitely turned my head, so he only go a kiss on the cheek goodnight. I don't know, I just felt a little weird kissing him in the subway. We went down our separate ways, and he mentioned something about doing this again. I'd be game for it, he was nice enough. I think it would be fun to see where the second date leads too. So long as he really moves out from the ex's place soon... otherwise this could be D-trouble all over again.

Tonight I went to a bar on the UWS with a friend for happy hour. Happy Hour turned into many happy hours, resulting in me drinking way too many beers, doing tequila shots, playing beer pong, and most importantly talking to some guy from Brooklyn and giving him my number. I don't know how I would feel about him in the sobering daylight, but hey, it's something different for a change! Ahh, spring. I heart dating season.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Speed Dating and the Brooklyn Bridge

The past week has been eventful, to the say the very least. On Thursday night a friend and I went speed dating on the Lower East Side. It was your typical speed dating set up (not that I had ever done it before... but it's what it looks like on TV and in movies...), rows of tables and the guys move and I just got to sit there and go on 16 mini dates in about an hour. Each date was 3 minutes long, and for some people 3 minutes goes by really quickly, and for some... it seems like 3 hours of torture. At the end of the 3 minute, the host rings a gong (it was at a bar called China One - I guess they wanted to stick with the theme) and the guys move up one seat. There is also a paper to write everyone's name on and some short notes to help you remember them later when it was time to make the selections.

I have a hard time remember all of the details, but I will do the best I can for each of my dates.

#1 - My notes for this guy were: Ireland. I got to speak with this guy the longest, because he sat down at the table and we started talking before the event officially began. He was nice, foreign (which seemed to be the underlying theme for the night), and seemed like a good guy. It was a good way to start the night.

#2 - Notes: Dr. Brooklyn Heights. So he was a doctor who lived in Brooklyn Heights. Also foreign, from India. I found on this date that it was going to be hard to hear my dates. Yes, they were sitting right across from me, but I was at a table that had another girl sitting directly next to me (with no space in between), so her conversation kept filtering through, and it was just generally loud at this place. So the Dr. from BK Heights was nice, but I had to keep asking him to repeat himself.

#3 - Notes: Financial District. I'm not sure why these are my notes for this guy. I know he lives there now, but it really doesn't tell me much else. I remember that he was from Georgia, and he would have been really cute, except he had this crazy thing going on with his hair. It was straight, and longish parted down the middle and kind of pushed back off his face. It was weird, but other than that, he was probably one of the best looking guys there... which doesn't say too much.

#4 - Notes: dog/beagle/code. I had a hard time remembering this date afterwards when I was hashing out details with my friend. He was her last date, and she thought he was the absolute worst. I'd have to disagree, only because the one after him (my friends 1st date) was by far my worst. So this guy was boring, and clearly older than the age limit (the age of the event was 22-30). He talked about his job which is writing code. I clearly don't know much about that and was bored so I tried to change the subject. I asked him what he does outside of work (which I will clarify that I only asked this as a save question because the worst question all the guys could ask me was "what do you do for fun" because it's such a lame question.), so date #4 told me that he likes to borrow his parents dog, which is a beagle, and take him out in the city and to the park. This date seemed longer than 3 minutes. I was grateful for the gong, but I had no idea what was coming next.

#5 - Notes: surfing/college. The first thing this guy says when he sits down is, "I think you're too old for me." What? I ask him repeat what he just said, just to be sure I heard correctly. Sure enough. I'm too old. Now, I'm right in the middle of the age bracket of the group, so I would have thought this guy would have expected to meet women older than him... being that he was 22. Yes, definitely too young for me. I have a hard time thinking about dating someone who is 25, let alone a 22 year old. I gathered from our conversation that he was not the brightest bulb, and he actually was probably a little bit slow. He talked about how he's in school for engineering (yet, he told my friend something completely different), and that he likes to surf. Whenever I thought 3 minutes should be up, it wasn't. And I just kept thinking that I've been on longer dates than this that were probably just as bad, I can do this... It's just 3 minutes. Finally the host rang the gong, and the longest 3 minutes of my life were over.

#6 - Notes: trucks/? 2nd time. After the last date, anything would have been a welcome relief. This guy sat down, and he was nice enough. He reminded me however a lot of D, physically and in his actions. He told me that he works in transportation because when he was growing up he was obsessed with trucks and trains and things like that. Interesting... It also was his second time doing speed dating. I don't really remember much else about the 3 minutes.

#7 - Notes: none. I did not write a single thing down about this guy. I had a really really hard time hearing him. It turns out, he's from Peru (my friend found this out - not me) and had I known this, I would have had plenty to talk to him about. I couldn't hear a word he said, and he was really awkward and shy. He kept talking down towards the table which made it even worse.

#8 - Notes: Study/. When this guy sat down, he had his paper that he was taking notes on in front of him. He had been talking to a girl before the event began, and on his notes (yes, I looked) he had written "cool chick" and underlined it a few times and drew hearts next to it. He also had the Yes box boldly checked. It was pretty funny, just to see a guy's notes with hearts and stuff drawn on it. We talked pretty much about the psychology of speed dating, and he thinks that most matches come from the very beginning of the night, because after a while you are just exhausted and noone seems appealing. He might be right, the dates did seem wear on you as the night continued. I didn't find out anything about him. That was all we talked about, I think.

#9 - Notes: Finland. When a guy was foreign, I really took to writing down where they were from. This guy was cute, he works for the diplomacy for Finland. He's a political advisor to an ambassador. We talked about Finland and how in the summer it's light 24 hours a day, and in the winter there are months without sunlight at all. I couldn't imagine that. I think that must be the most depressing place to live if there is no sunlight for months at a time. We talked about that for a while, and we talked about teaching some. He was nice, but there was not much of a connection there. An easy 3 minutes, but not someone I'd date again.

#10 - Notes: Concerts. This guy was from Barcelona, and did not speak English very well at all. Besides being hard to hear him, it was hard to understand him even when I could hear him. We ended up talking a lot about concerts and good places to see live music in the city. He must not have been living here for very long, I did ask him... but I couldn't make out his answer, and he had repeated himself so many times prior to that, I couldn't ask him to repeat himself again. So we talked about music and concerts, and he seemed generally clueless about most things musical in the city. From what I could tell, he likes 90s pop rock, and wants to find places that play that type of music live. I told him his best bets were on the LES and in Williamsburg.

#11 - Notes: None. This guy was the last guy before our half-way break. I remember what he looks like. I don't remember what we talked about. Not even a little bit. My friend told me that he was from Russia. I know we didn't talk about that. There was nothing memorable about this guy.

---- Break ---- We had a 15 minute break in which to use the bathroom, get more drinks, stretch, and they served a tray of Chinese food. I didn't have any because I had eaten before and wasn't feeling particularly hungry at that point. It was also a good chance to talk with some of the people you didn't get to talk much with during your 3 minutes. My friend was still talking to her last date, someone I had not yet met, so I went over there, and the first thing my friend says to him is, "Oh this is my friend - she went to Rutgers too." So, this guy was a Rutgers engineering graduate, so we talked about that for a little. He just kept saying that he missed being at New Brunswick and he goes back there almost every weekend. I also talked to my first date (the Irish guy) for a little bit during the break, I think I felt more comfortable talking to him because I already knew more about him.

#12 - Notes: Willsburg. This was my abbreviation for Williamsburg, where he lives. After the break, my 12th date comes to the table with not one, but two drinks in his hand. I look at the two drinks suspiciously, and he says, "well you have to be prepared." He was really nice, and we talked about everything from being a librarian to his work as an animator, to him living in Williamsburg. He looks like he lives in Williamsburg... black plastic glasses, messy hair, selectively mismatched clothing. I probably could have guessed his residence before he told me. Either he did not hear the gong after the 3 minutes were up, or he was having such a good time he didn't want to leave, but the next date was hoovering over his chair and I had to remind this one that he had to move on.

#13 - Notes: Hoboken. This guy was from India, living in Hoboken. His accent though was so strong that I had a hard time understanding "hoboken". He also was wearing colored contacts which was the freakiest thing ever. I don't think I've ever seen a guy with colored contacts on, I have seen many girls with them, and they can look good, but this guy creeped me out with the fake blue eyes. I don't remember what we talked about, I was pretty tired at this point and wouldn't have minded skipping my last 3 dates all together.

#14 - Notes: ER Dr. This guy was old, much older than 30, or at least he looked it. He looked A LOT like the Finnish guy (Date #9) and it was actually kind of hard to tell them apart. Despite having a foreign sounding name, he was American, and just finishing his residency as an ER doctor. He was nice if not a little boring, but it was fine. By this point I felt like I had the same conversation so many times over again, I was boring myself.

#15 - Notes: Rutgers. The guy I had talked to over the break. We talked more about Rutgers and the campus and living in New Brunswick in general. He now lives in Jersey City, but doesn't really like it - and desperately misses New Brunswick. He was originally from India, and we talked about that for a while. There was no real connection, just enough common ground to fill 3 minutes worth of time.

#16 - Notes: None. My last date. This guy was a friend of the Williamsburg guy (date #12), and his friend had bought him the ticket to speed dating for his Christmas present. A strange gift, but maybe he was really lonely. It's been a while since Christmas though... Anyway, we talked about his friend for a bit (who somehow had messed up the rotation, and missed 2 of his dates, and was over by the food, eating). We did the usual talk, where we were each from (he was from LA), what we did for a living, blah blah blah. It was not a bad 3 minutes, but after 16 times, I was just ready to be done.

Finally when it was all over, my friend and I hung out for a bit so I could finish my drink, then headed over to the Life Cafe with her sister to eat dinner and hash out the evening's dates. We agreed on the weirdness of most of the guys, and that the Williamsburg guy had the best energy. I liked him the most of all my dates. I don't know if I will do this again, it was so tiring, but we did we'd go again for free, if the situation arose.

Yesterday, I took my students to the Brooklyn Bridge. The Israeli came with. 6 of my students have now met the Israeli, and it was a bit awkward but it was a really fun trip. On the subway ride back (the Israeli stayed in the city to meet up with his mom and brother), one of my students asked me why I didn't have any kids. I told her I didn't know, and that someday I would. She said to me that I'm going to make a really excellent mother (which was by far the nicest thing a student has ever said to me), and I should have kids soon. I said that I hadn't met the right guy right and when I did, I would have kids. She said, "what about... oh never mind." I replied, "what? what about the Israeli?" I explained that he was going back to Israel very soon, so she said, "Why don't you move to Israeli with him?" I just explained as best I could that I had no interest in moving to Israel, and someday I will meet a guy who lives in America, who I will have kids with. It was the strangest conversation I've ever had with a student, and slightly unnerving. It's amazing how perceptive kids are... and how straight forward.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Interupting Bartender

A date with someone new! It's been so long... and I was feeling anxious with the Israeli leaving so soon. So, I have a few dates in the works, and one that happened last night. I posted an ad on craigslist, and this guy really caught my interest. He wrote a spectacular and unique email, which was so much better than the rest of the emails I got. He was the only one I responded to. We exchanged only 2 emails or so, and decided to meet for a drink last night. I didn't know much about him except that he had a foreign sounding name. I was a little nervous leading up to the date, probably because I've been out of practice for over 3 months.

The date started out fine, we had an awkward encounter as I approached the bar. He was outside smoking a cigarette, which in my opinion is an obvious strike. But I can forgive someone of that if they have enough to offer.

We went into the bar, had a drink, and talked for a while about a lot of things. Books, jobs, where he is from (India), and so forth. It was all going well, until the bartender came over and was like, "Dude, is that your bike (a motorcycle) out there?" My date replied that it was in fact his, and that's where I thought that conversation would end, with maybe a little more detail about the bike given or something, but no... the bartender proceeds to tell us how he used to have a motor-bike when he lived in St. Thomas, and how much fun it was to ride... blah blah blah. He went on for quite a while. After the first interruption, we went back to normal dating conversation. The date was going pretty well, and I was hoping to get to talk more to my date, and not so much the bartender. No such luck. Not long after the first interruption, came another. This time about nothing that was even related to myself or my date. He was just looking to talk to someone, and lucky for us, the bar was relatively empty, so we were his only option for conversation. But I was pretty sure it was apparent that we were on a date. The bartender's girlfriend showed up, and I thought we were in the clear. But no, he introduces us to her, she proceeds to take out a book and read it at the bar, and he keeps on chatting away. At this point, we've had 2 drinks and 3 hours have passed, and I'm pretty ready to get home. What had started out as a good date, was slowly ruined by a bartender who was lonely for some conversation.

All in all, I don't know that I will hear from him again. It was a good date, but I'm pretty sure that this guy is looking for something a little more serious, and I'm looking more to just have fun at this point. He's a good 6 years older than me, and I think looking more along the lines of a wife. (Although I do know that he already has his green card, so at least I know he's not looking for that.) Oh well, he was a nice guy. Cute too. It's a shame.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

The Home Stretch

I'm in the final few weeks of dating the Israeli. His mother and brother are both here, staying at his place. And if nothing else, their arrival has fueled his interest in seeing me, more than it has been in the past 3 months.

Last Monday, I got a text message from the Israeli, it read "Please call me as soon as you can." When I get text messages like that, from people I don't normally get messages from... it freaks me out a bit. I was waiting in the subway station when I checked my message, and since there is no reception down there, I couldn't call him until I was above ground. I worried the entire way home that it was something a lot more serious than it turned out to be. I called him while I was walking home, and sure enough, he just wanted to see what I was doing, and he said he would call me back in a few minutes. A few minutes and 2 hours later, he called and asked me if I wanted to go to Union Hall with him and some of his friends (first time I've been invited out with his friends) and then stay over his place, since his mother was in Syracuse overnight. I had a project that was due on Tuesday, and I had already taken off work Tuesday to get it done, I could not justify going out to his place while I had so much work to do. I told him that, and he said that his mother would not be back until Weds, and if I wanted I could come over Tuesday night when I was finished my paper.

I finished my project around 5ish on Tuesday afternoon. I called the Israeli, but he did not answer. I didn't leave a message, but did not hear back from him at all. Around 7:30 I needed to figure out what I was doing for the rest of the evening, so I called him again. Again, he did not answer, but about 2 minutes after I called I got a text message from him. The text message said that he was at the ballet seeing Romeo and Juliet. He did not mention what time he'd be done, or if we were still seeing each other later. I sent him a text back that said I was going to the gym and to let me know if he still wanted me to come over later. I went to the gym and when I came back around 9:30, I still had not heard from him. I called his home phone around 10, figuring if he wasn't there, I wouldn't leave a message, and he wouldn't know that I called. There was no answer, and I did not leave a message. Around midnight I was irritated that I still had not heard from him. I called his home phone again, much to my surprise, someone answered. It was not the Israeli. In fact, it was a woman with a thick Israeli accent. It was his mom. I did not know what to do, so I did what any person (under the age of 15?) would do in that situation - I hung up. I mean what kind of girl calls a guys apartment after midnight... I didn't want his mom to think I am whatever type of girl that is.

I had a missed call from the Israeli on Weds around 2 - when I am definitely in school, and definitely can not answer my phone. I called him back when I got out of the subway on my way home, and was pretty short with him because I was still irritated from the night before. He asked me if he could spend the night at my place that night. I already had plans to go to the movies with a co-worker, although he could have come over after, I still told him no. I wasn't expecting to hear from him again that night, but he called me around 10:30, just to see what I was doing. I had just gotten home, and was not in the mood to entertain the possibility of him coming over. So I told him I was going to bed, and I'd talk to him tomorrow. The Israeli never calls me multiple days in a row, but this past week was a huge exception. He called me Thursday afternoon, a few times. We talked and decided that he'd stay over my place Friday night. He texted me on Friday, multiple times, telling me his plans, and asking me if he could bring anything over. Very sweet, and completely out of character.

He ended up getting to my place earlier than expected, and I was in the middle of watching a movie with my roommate. He joined us, and was pretty much well behaved for the majority of the movie. He was being very cuddly with me while we watched the movie, with his arm around me, and rubbing my back and neck, kissing me on the head. It was all very PG, and I definitely was receptive (and Ok, maybe even a bit reciprocal) to it. My roommate claims that it was very "boyfriend/girlfriend-y."

After the movie ended, the Israeli talked to my roommate for a while, and she gave him advice on touring NYC by foot and places to take his mom and brother. I'm completely inept in this area and stayed out of this conversation completely. Afterward, the Israeli challenged me to a game of Scrabble. I don't know that I would ever feel confident enough to challenge someone to a game where I wasn't a native speaker and the other person was, apparently the Israeli feels that his English skills are parallel to mine. I'm not one to back down to a challenge, no matter how unbalanced it was. He was the one who claimed that he would "kick my ass", not vice-versa. I just simply countered his challenge with my own. I agree that I had an unfair advantage, but I wasn't the one who put the challenge out in the first place. Needless to say, the game didn't last too long before the Israeli realized he was going to lose by a long shot. I am fairly competent when it comes to Scrabble, it's always been my favorite game, and I don't ever play to lose, to a native English speaker or not.

We decided about half-way through the game that we didn't need to finish the game. He forfeited gracefully, and we got ready for bed. While we were in bed that night, he brought up relationship conversations again. I'm not sure if he's getting anxious because he's leaving so soon, but I feel like we talk about this a lot. He again told me how much he was going to miss me... and as per usual, I laughed. He gets irritated when I laugh, and I understand that, but it's my way of reacting without having to tell him that I'm going to miss him too. Of course I'm going to miss him, and eventually I did end up telling him that, but not until after he called me cold hearted, and accused me of not caring.

We slept in the next morning, and were going to have brunch, but ended up not having enough time. He had to meet his brother and mother at 12:45. He invited me to go to Coney Island with them, but thankfully I already had plans. We walked out together, a kiss goodbye, parting ways for me to go the gym and the Israeli to the subway.

These next few weeks will be interesting to say the least. I have no idea how often or when I will see him. I haven't heard from him, and don't know when I will.