Because last night's date remains slightly fuzzy in my brain from certain points on... I will do my best to do this date justice.
I had made the original contact with this guy, had asked him out on the date, picked the bar (dark and romantical - as per his request...) and had a good feeling about this guy. I spent the hour before the date on the phone with a friend, getting ready, and completely losing all my nerve. Boy called at 9, to tell me he was leaving w'burg and hopping in a cab to meet me here. We were supposed to meet 20 minutes later. The bar is literally 3 doors down from my apartment. I made sure I left my apartment 20 minutes later, and peered down towards the bar... no sign of the boy outside. My roommate was just getting home and stayed outside with me for a good 10 minutes as we scoped out the scene. There's no way it would have taken half an hour to get from W'burg to downtown Brooklyn... but there was no one waiting outside. Maybe he's inside, and I just missed him getting there. I walk down to the bar, and sure enough there is my date, who had been waiting.. clearly for at least 15 minutes. Damn.
The date went smooth enough, easy conversation, laughs, and the (eventual) downfall... lots of beer. Well, to be honest, I only had 3 pints. Which isn't an extreme amount. I had a beer before I left the apartment with my dinner, so a total 4 beers over the course of 4-5 hours, shouldn't have affected me as strongly as it did. In hindsight, I researched the beers I had been drinking to see why I was a drunk as I was... the beer I drank at home, Brooklyn's Monster Ale is 10.8% alcohol by volume... which is double the alcohol by volume of your typical lager... Ok. so really, I had 2 beers before I left the apartment.. just more compact. So, ok, 5 beers. That helps make more sense of how I got so drunk.
I wasn't sloppy drunk. Just a lot less inhibited drunk. And let's call a spade, a spade. It was my last day of my first year teaching, there is no reason for me NOT to get drunk! I'm sure he could tell I've had more than I am capable of handling. He had more than I did at the bar, and had a few at a barbecue before we met up, so he admittedly was buzzed as well.
After a few hours of good drink and even better conversation (isn't everything more interesting when you're drunk though?), Boy leans over and kisses me, at the bar. It was a good kiss. We kiss some more at the bar... I'm not completely comfortable about making out with a stranger in public, but he was cute and we were off to the corner of the bar, so it wasn't so bad. I happened to mention that I lived relatively close to the bar (an understatement, I practically live on top of the bar). And I did something that I very rarely do on a date... I brought Boy back to my apartment. I am blaming the alcohol level and the fact that I knew I wouldn't see him again for at least 2 weeks, I can roll two dates into one, right? I have poor judgment when I'm drunk. Hell, I have poor judgment when I'm sober... There's no excuse for that. So we're in my apartment. Things happen. I didn't sleep with him, not for lack of his trying though. He kept saying how he never does things like that on a first date... which I don't know if I believe. I rarely do things like that on a first date, but I don't feel the need to go around telling him that. The fact that I was doing it right then, doesn't really matter if I do it on other dates or not, right? He left around 2 am, and said I should call him when I get back from my vacation. We'll see.
If I could separate the dates into 2 parts, I could rate them both separately. Part 1 at the bar was a drunken 8. It might have been better had I not gotten so drunk, or who knows maybe it would have been worse. Part 2 - making out at my apartment... hmm.. maybe a 6. It wasn't bad. It just was kind of awkward and weird. And I don't know that had I not been drunk things would have gotten that far. The date average is an 7, which is better than some of the others in my dating history. So now, the waiting game. I am going away for 2 weeks, and it may be a good thing to wait it out and just email him when I get back.
Next date - Who knows.. those Peruvian men are supposed to be wonderful lovers!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Thursday, June 22, 2006
It Always Feels Like Somebody's Watching Me.
First my apologies for not posting this week... end of school craziness = not dating.
**Read Just Say No. before reading this**
I was right... I hadn't heard the last from the Subway stalker. Not by a long shot. If I had foresight, well, maybe I would have been brave and just said no when he first asked for my number. In the previous update, he was just calling me, daily. like 3 times a day. Nothing really scary about it. Just a little obsessive. I answered the phone accidentally last Sunday night while I was driving back to Brooklyn, I had my head piece in and didn't have the phone in front of me to see the caller-ID. He had just called about an hour before while I was at dinner... I guess I should have realized that crazy is crazy, and logic like that does not work. I ended up talking to him for about an hour on my drive back. I kept mentioning that I was not looking to date anyone over the summer, and actually sparked a heated racial conversation with him. (I just happened to mention that a parent of one of my students told me that she hates white women) I wasn't hoping to create a racial debate, but I wouldn't have shied away from it at this point. Convinced that this guy can be deterred without me having to come out and say it... I'm just not GOOD at that. So at one point he asks me what time I ride the train in the morning. I figure the best bet here is to be vague.. as vague as possible. My answer. well depending on how early or late I'm running, anytime between the 7:45 train and the 8:10 train. There are at least 3 of the local trains that run at these times, and sometimes i take the express to catch the local... so it's a toss up. I mean I could have told him that lately it's been 8:10 since I have no desire to get to work early... but come on. I'm not THAT stupid. So he persists, of course... what time am I going to be on the train tomorrow. Score! I'm not taking the train tomorrow, and I tell him this. Oh, but this mere detail is a minor setback in the subway stalkers grand scheme. Oh, well what time do you think you'll be on the train on Tuesday? I have no idea. and I tell him this. Sure enough, Tuesday morning at 7:40 my phone rings. ANYONE who knows me, and knows me well, knows that I DO NOT talk on the phone in the morning. I try not to utter a single word to the world until it is of the utmost necessity. I am NOT a morning person. So I was irritated that my phone was even ringing, I saw who was calling, silenced the phone, and went back to getting ready, stopped at the corner bakery for some coffee, and on my way to catch the 8:10 train, checked the message that had been left a GOOD 20 minutes prior. It was the subway stalker wanting to know if I wanted to ride the train with him that morning. Figuring that he called at the time when I would have been getting on the earliest possible train, 7:40... he covered his bases well. Well, I don't think that any man in his right mind would wait for 3 subway trains to pass before getting on. Well, chalk one up for my stalker. I was sitting in a 2 seater bench on the subway, closest to the door between cars. I like sitting there in the morning because even though the car is not crowded, i can put my stuff on the bench and not worry about someone grabbing something. And sure enough, we get to his stop.. and there he is. He is not deterred that he called me 2 times the day before and once already that morning, none of which I answered or returned. He squeezes himself into the 2 seater. all nice and cozy. and then he said, "oh I thought I saw you in another car.. and I was thinking, what is she doing in another car?" Oh dear lord... seriously? he's scanning the subway cars.. and waiting for me. He also took the time during this subway ride to mention the fact that he has "an anger problem." Oh, great. That's just swell. Now I want to have your babies. Where do I sign up?
Once we got to the stop, I waited for 2 other teachers who happened to be in other cars, so I wouldn't have to walk out with him. He seemed disappointed that I didn't want him to walk me out. I had made it through the ride in and was home free, right? wrong... I stayed late at school that day. I was working with the technology teacher on a slide show for graduation, and 10 of 5, my phone rings. I look at the number, and say to the technology teacher, "10 to 1, this guy wants to know what time I am leaving so we can ride the train back together. bet me." We probably didn't leave the school for a full half hour after that. I went to the subway, holding my breath, praying I didn't see him. Made it through the turnstile, no sign of him. down to the platform... no sign of him! woohoo! I put on my Ipod, and am SO relieved. Well, wouldn't you know, not even 2 minutes later, who shows up on the platform? There is NO way that I buy that as a coincidence. I waited. and he still was there. So now I'm thoroughly creeped out. and really want to run away. He of course sits with me on the subway car, but this time I choose a long bench... and continues to ask me when we're going on our date. He doesn't get it. I actually said to him, "Um, we're not!" and still, that did not sway his determination. He was getting off the train, and told me to call him tonight. Yeah right. does this guy get that in ALL the times he has called me, I have not once called him. apparently not. I was out with a friend that night, and we counted, he had called me 12 times in 6 days. without one returned call from me. While I was out with my friend, he called again. and this time left a message, sounding thoroughly irate that I didn't call him as he instructed me, and mentioning that maybe I forgot about him. Um, he's just getting that now? No. So, he doesn't call all day Wednesday. And I think I'm home free.. for real this time. Thursday morning, 7:40... my phone rings. again. Same deal as Tuesday, but I learned my lesson. I rode in a different car, and made sure I was obscured from any good window views. He was on that 8:10 train, but not in my car. I saw him walking up the subway stairs as I was coming up mine. I kind of ducked back, so he wouldn't see me. I don't know if he saw me or not. He then called me on my lunch break. Normally, we stay in for lunch, but for a treat, once in a while my co-worker and I will go to the only place in Bed-Stuy that is safe to eat, McDonalds. The only place that's not "Crown Chicken" or Chinese Food... Anyway, I digress. Where we are sitting is pretty open. Lots of windows, etc. Very easy to spot two white girls sitting in a both by the window... My phone rings, I look at it. Silence the ringer. Put it back in my bag. Then it dawns on me. He could very well have been watching me. Just to see what I do. So not only am I creeped out, but now I'm a little scared. He didn't call after that for almost 2 whole days. He called 2 times this past Saturday, and once on Sunday. He hasn't called since. 2 full days with no phone calls. This may be the longest stretch. I am still nervous on the train in the morning. But tomorrow is my last day. I am glad this didn't happen earlier in the year, I'm not used to being so alert first thing in the morning, and to tell the truth, its a bad way to start the day.
On other subway news, a homeless man called me a slut and pulled out a razor blade. I wonder if he was friends with the fish kisser.. cause then, I might understand his rationale. Good days on the train for me. Maybe my vacation will bring better things.
Next date: Tomorrow. with a bespectacled jdate boy that I am VERY excited to go out with. I emailed him first... asked him out. you know, this is like my date. it's in my neighborhood and we're not even going to Thai. wow.
**Read Just Say No. before reading this**
I was right... I hadn't heard the last from the Subway stalker. Not by a long shot. If I had foresight, well, maybe I would have been brave and just said no when he first asked for my number. In the previous update, he was just calling me, daily. like 3 times a day. Nothing really scary about it. Just a little obsessive. I answered the phone accidentally last Sunday night while I was driving back to Brooklyn, I had my head piece in and didn't have the phone in front of me to see the caller-ID. He had just called about an hour before while I was at dinner... I guess I should have realized that crazy is crazy, and logic like that does not work. I ended up talking to him for about an hour on my drive back. I kept mentioning that I was not looking to date anyone over the summer, and actually sparked a heated racial conversation with him. (I just happened to mention that a parent of one of my students told me that she hates white women) I wasn't hoping to create a racial debate, but I wouldn't have shied away from it at this point. Convinced that this guy can be deterred without me having to come out and say it... I'm just not GOOD at that. So at one point he asks me what time I ride the train in the morning. I figure the best bet here is to be vague.. as vague as possible. My answer. well depending on how early or late I'm running, anytime between the 7:45 train and the 8:10 train. There are at least 3 of the local trains that run at these times, and sometimes i take the express to catch the local... so it's a toss up. I mean I could have told him that lately it's been 8:10 since I have no desire to get to work early... but come on. I'm not THAT stupid. So he persists, of course... what time am I going to be on the train tomorrow. Score! I'm not taking the train tomorrow, and I tell him this. Oh, but this mere detail is a minor setback in the subway stalkers grand scheme. Oh, well what time do you think you'll be on the train on Tuesday? I have no idea. and I tell him this. Sure enough, Tuesday morning at 7:40 my phone rings. ANYONE who knows me, and knows me well, knows that I DO NOT talk on the phone in the morning. I try not to utter a single word to the world until it is of the utmost necessity. I am NOT a morning person. So I was irritated that my phone was even ringing, I saw who was calling, silenced the phone, and went back to getting ready, stopped at the corner bakery for some coffee, and on my way to catch the 8:10 train, checked the message that had been left a GOOD 20 minutes prior. It was the subway stalker wanting to know if I wanted to ride the train with him that morning. Figuring that he called at the time when I would have been getting on the earliest possible train, 7:40... he covered his bases well. Well, I don't think that any man in his right mind would wait for 3 subway trains to pass before getting on. Well, chalk one up for my stalker. I was sitting in a 2 seater bench on the subway, closest to the door between cars. I like sitting there in the morning because even though the car is not crowded, i can put my stuff on the bench and not worry about someone grabbing something. And sure enough, we get to his stop.. and there he is. He is not deterred that he called me 2 times the day before and once already that morning, none of which I answered or returned. He squeezes himself into the 2 seater. all nice and cozy. and then he said, "oh I thought I saw you in another car.. and I was thinking, what is she doing in another car?" Oh dear lord... seriously? he's scanning the subway cars.. and waiting for me. He also took the time during this subway ride to mention the fact that he has "an anger problem." Oh, great. That's just swell. Now I want to have your babies. Where do I sign up?
Once we got to the stop, I waited for 2 other teachers who happened to be in other cars, so I wouldn't have to walk out with him. He seemed disappointed that I didn't want him to walk me out. I had made it through the ride in and was home free, right? wrong... I stayed late at school that day. I was working with the technology teacher on a slide show for graduation, and 10 of 5, my phone rings. I look at the number, and say to the technology teacher, "10 to 1, this guy wants to know what time I am leaving so we can ride the train back together. bet me." We probably didn't leave the school for a full half hour after that. I went to the subway, holding my breath, praying I didn't see him. Made it through the turnstile, no sign of him. down to the platform... no sign of him! woohoo! I put on my Ipod, and am SO relieved. Well, wouldn't you know, not even 2 minutes later, who shows up on the platform? There is NO way that I buy that as a coincidence. I waited. and he still was there. So now I'm thoroughly creeped out. and really want to run away. He of course sits with me on the subway car, but this time I choose a long bench... and continues to ask me when we're going on our date. He doesn't get it. I actually said to him, "Um, we're not!" and still, that did not sway his determination. He was getting off the train, and told me to call him tonight. Yeah right. does this guy get that in ALL the times he has called me, I have not once called him. apparently not. I was out with a friend that night, and we counted, he had called me 12 times in 6 days. without one returned call from me. While I was out with my friend, he called again. and this time left a message, sounding thoroughly irate that I didn't call him as he instructed me, and mentioning that maybe I forgot about him. Um, he's just getting that now? No. So, he doesn't call all day Wednesday. And I think I'm home free.. for real this time. Thursday morning, 7:40... my phone rings. again. Same deal as Tuesday, but I learned my lesson. I rode in a different car, and made sure I was obscured from any good window views. He was on that 8:10 train, but not in my car. I saw him walking up the subway stairs as I was coming up mine. I kind of ducked back, so he wouldn't see me. I don't know if he saw me or not. He then called me on my lunch break. Normally, we stay in for lunch, but for a treat, once in a while my co-worker and I will go to the only place in Bed-Stuy that is safe to eat, McDonalds. The only place that's not "Crown Chicken" or Chinese Food... Anyway, I digress. Where we are sitting is pretty open. Lots of windows, etc. Very easy to spot two white girls sitting in a both by the window... My phone rings, I look at it. Silence the ringer. Put it back in my bag. Then it dawns on me. He could very well have been watching me. Just to see what I do. So not only am I creeped out, but now I'm a little scared. He didn't call after that for almost 2 whole days. He called 2 times this past Saturday, and once on Sunday. He hasn't called since. 2 full days with no phone calls. This may be the longest stretch. I am still nervous on the train in the morning. But tomorrow is my last day. I am glad this didn't happen earlier in the year, I'm not used to being so alert first thing in the morning, and to tell the truth, its a bad way to start the day.
On other subway news, a homeless man called me a slut and pulled out a razor blade. I wonder if he was friends with the fish kisser.. cause then, I might understand his rationale. Good days on the train for me. Maybe my vacation will bring better things.
Next date: Tomorrow. with a bespectacled jdate boy that I am VERY excited to go out with. I emailed him first... asked him out. you know, this is like my date. it's in my neighborhood and we're not even going to Thai. wow.
Sunday, June 18, 2006
And the award for the fewest words spoken on a date goes to...
There are reasons why movies do not make good first dates. The front runner being that there is absolutely no venue to talk and get to know the other person. Sometimes, this is a lifesaver! If I had gone to the movie with the boring lawyer, maybe the date wouldn't have been so bad. However, tonight, I should have said no (there it is again... I must learn how to say that word!) to my date's offer to go to the movies.
I was supposed to go on a Jdate tonight with this guy that I have been emailing/IMing with for a while. He lives in Philly and normally I wouldn't even get involved with someone that lives 2 hours away. But I knew that I'd be at my parents house a bit this summer, who knows, could be fun. Anyway, I wasn't sure if I was going to come home this weekend or not, so he made other plans... long story short, the date didn't happen.
That however, did not stop me from finding another date for my Saturday night. Before today, I never realized how incredibly simple it is to get a date. I decided around noon that I wanted to go out tonight, and not out with friends, but on a date. So I posted an ad on craigslist, and voila... I had a date for tonight. Now because this was a spontaneous date there wasn't much communication before hand. Brief emails, he sent me his myspace page so I could see his pictures, a short phone call to sum up plans, and I was out the door to meet my date at the movies. I left 45 minutes before I had to be there, since I had to drive out to PA to get to the theater, but it shouldn't have take me that long. There was traffic, and I was freaking out... and I showed up about 5 minutes before the movie started. He had already bought the tickets, and we walked into the theater just as the previews were starting. We had maybe some brief introductory talk, I apologized for being late and keeping him waiting (even though I had called to let him know I was stuck in traffic), and then the movie started. So, I sat through an entire movie next to someone I didn't know at all. At times I actually had to remind myself that the person sitting next to me was in fact my date for the evening, and at one point I actually struggled to remember what his name was! After the movie, we made some small talk about what we liked about the movie... then he went to his car, and I went to mine. I thanked him for the movie, and that was it. Probably the fewest amount of words ever said on a date. I think I've already written much more about the date than was actually said on the date. But for a last minute impromptu date, not bad. I've definitely been on worse!
Updates on previous posts:
Subway guy has been calling. A lot. 3 times in one day, even when I don't pick up the phone! Today he only called 2 times though. He's called every day this week, except Weds. Weird.
Tire guy has kind of disappeared. Which sucks. I emailed him on Sunday after our Friday meeting, thanking him for changing my tire, asking how his weekend was, and suggesting that we possibly meet up for a drink later in the week. He IMed me on Monday, saying that he was really busy this week, but we should hang out and he'd call once he knew his schedule. Whatever that means, I haven't heard from him since. Thinking about emailing him again, or catching him on IM (makes me feel like I'm trapping him!). So far he's the only one that I want to see again, I'm not going to let it go that easily.
I was supposed to go on a Jdate tonight with this guy that I have been emailing/IMing with for a while. He lives in Philly and normally I wouldn't even get involved with someone that lives 2 hours away. But I knew that I'd be at my parents house a bit this summer, who knows, could be fun. Anyway, I wasn't sure if I was going to come home this weekend or not, so he made other plans... long story short, the date didn't happen.
That however, did not stop me from finding another date for my Saturday night. Before today, I never realized how incredibly simple it is to get a date. I decided around noon that I wanted to go out tonight, and not out with friends, but on a date. So I posted an ad on craigslist, and voila... I had a date for tonight. Now because this was a spontaneous date there wasn't much communication before hand. Brief emails, he sent me his myspace page so I could see his pictures, a short phone call to sum up plans, and I was out the door to meet my date at the movies. I left 45 minutes before I had to be there, since I had to drive out to PA to get to the theater, but it shouldn't have take me that long. There was traffic, and I was freaking out... and I showed up about 5 minutes before the movie started. He had already bought the tickets, and we walked into the theater just as the previews were starting. We had maybe some brief introductory talk, I apologized for being late and keeping him waiting (even though I had called to let him know I was stuck in traffic), and then the movie started. So, I sat through an entire movie next to someone I didn't know at all. At times I actually had to remind myself that the person sitting next to me was in fact my date for the evening, and at one point I actually struggled to remember what his name was! After the movie, we made some small talk about what we liked about the movie... then he went to his car, and I went to mine. I thanked him for the movie, and that was it. Probably the fewest amount of words ever said on a date. I think I've already written much more about the date than was actually said on the date. But for a last minute impromptu date, not bad. I've definitely been on worse!
Updates on previous posts:
Subway guy has been calling. A lot. 3 times in one day, even when I don't pick up the phone! Today he only called 2 times though. He's called every day this week, except Weds. Weird.
Tire guy has kind of disappeared. Which sucks. I emailed him on Sunday after our Friday meeting, thanking him for changing my tire, asking how his weekend was, and suggesting that we possibly meet up for a drink later in the week. He IMed me on Monday, saying that he was really busy this week, but we should hang out and he'd call once he knew his schedule. Whatever that means, I haven't heard from him since. Thinking about emailing him again, or catching him on IM (makes me feel like I'm trapping him!). So far he's the only one that I want to see again, I'm not going to let it go that easily.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Just Say No.
I've been taking a break from dating this week. Feeling a bit of a burnout, after 3 in a row last week, and so many unsuccessful attempts. I really wanted to take this week to recoup, regain my strength for the week coming up. However, as hard as I try to stay away from dating, the men just keep coming.
Yesterday, I was waiting for the train on the way home from work. I try to be as anti-social as possible on the train. iPod, book, reading the subway ads, anything really to keep me from making eye contact with strangers. I was just putting my headphones in and getting ready to enjoy my 20 minute commute, when a man approaches. He says, You're a teacher, right? Now... I was not carrying any books with me (it's the end of the year and my report cards are done. Like I'm going to do any work at home!), and I was dressed casually in a t-shirt, jeans, and sandals (not really teacher attire), and from all I could tell I had no marker/chalk/visible stains that some teachers carry with them as a proud badge. I had to assume he either knew what school I taught at, maybe he was the father of one of my students, or he was going on the basis that I'm white. I'm not saying that there aren't any white people where I teach... but um, there aren't any white people other than the people who work in the nearby schools. I assured him that I was in fact a teacher. At this point, I didn't think he was trying to hit on me. It doesn't happen all that often, and when it does, I realize it so late, I'm either knee deep in something I don't want to be in or have missed my opportunity. So, he starts talking to me, and mentions that he's seen me before on the train. Ok, I see a lot of the same people on the train every morning. When you commute on the same train, same subway car, everyday, 5 days a week at the same time, it tends to happen. It's not a crowded train, since it's going in the opposite direction that most people commute (away from Manhattan), so you notice people, of course. I wasn't immediately alerted by the fact that he had noticed me. He asked me how old I was. I told him I was 25, and his reply was, "wow, you're young." He didn't look that much older than me, but at that remark, I grew slightly concerned. So I asked him how old he was, to which he replied, "26." Hmm. Yes, 25 is younger than 26. Maybe a whole year younger, but doubtful since I'll be 26 in a few months. I didn't think that was a great enough age difference to warrant a "wow" comment.
*Sidenote, kind of makes me rethink my own age issues when it comes to dating 25 year olds*
We continued talking until the train came, at which point he chose that time to ask me my name and tell me his. There's nothing more opportune than exchanging vital information with the deafening sounds of the subway rolling in. I kind of pretended that I heard his name, not really thinking I would need this information later. He sat with me on the subway and asked me for my number. At this point, we were in the same subway car, we had just left the stop we got on at... I had no idea how long I'd be committed to sharing space with him. That, and I'm just really bad a rejecting people. I could've given him a fake number, the thought ran through my mind briefly, until I remembered that he rides the same train as I do and could cause future awkwardness. That wasn't going to work either. So, I gave him my number knowing full well that this guy is not my type at all. He got off a few stops later, promising he'd call me later. I knew all to well that of course he was going to.
I didn't answer the first time he called. I let it go to voicemail, thinking I'd at least buy myself a day or so with that, before he'd call again. Wrong. Apparently, some guys don't follow those rules. He called again. Maybe an hour or so later. I answered the phone before I even looked at the caller id. Damn. So, I'm on the phone with this guy. We were talking for a while, and he does have a very nice personality. He made me laugh and he seems intelligent. The first question he asked me - What type of restaurant do you like to go to on a first date? Whoa buddy, slow down. I reply with an evasive... Hmm, I don't have one particular place in general (LIE - neighborhood Thai restaurant is clearly my favorite!), to which he follows up his first question with a second - What type of flowers do you like on a first date? Flowers? On a first date? Um.. none - I told him. I was floored at how upfront he was. I mean, there is no game playing here. This guy likes me, and wants to make CERTAIN that I know that. I manage to steer the conversation away from first date talk, and we manage a nice conversation for a while. He mentioned again that he had seen me on the train, and asked if I had remembered him. I hadn't. Clearly. But he goes on, he says, there was one morning that I was sitting across from him (and he told me, that he sat there because he saw that I was already there..creeeeepy) and that I kept making eye-contact with him while I was talking to one of my co-workers. Now, at first I was kind of like, maybe it wasn't me, and he's just remembering it wrong, but he was able to describe both me and my colleague with whom I was speaking. Awesome. But, I shake off that slight stalkerish feeling... and again the conversation picks up nicely. And then he asks me if I remember his name. UhOh... I thought I had been in the clear. At one point, he mentioned his friends calling him "Anthony." So I was like, "Of course, you just said it, it's Anthony." And he was like "No. that's my nickname." Huh? Nickname? I know of nicknames FOR the name Anthony, but until now, I've never heard of Anthony being a nickmame for something else. I guess that is, unless your name is Anton. Right... at least now I know his name. I was ok up through this point, he was nice, and charming and clearly interested in me. And then he comes out with the statement that he wants to have kids, soon. He's been ready since he was 18, but wants one now! I think I almost fell on the floor when he said that. I made it clear that I am in no way shape or form look for any baby daddy drama or anything that has to do with me having a child. I kind of stuttered and stammered for a bit, and thank the lord for call waiting, got another call and told him I had to go.
I doubt this is the last I've heard from my subway stalker. I may have to redirect my morning/evening commute times. Try another subway car. Drive to work. Maybe I'll buy a bike. There's only 2 more weeks of school left anyway.
I should probably just be honest, but in the real world (i.e. outside of jdate) where rejection is a bit harder than just ignoring emails and IMs that I don't want to respond to... I find that I need much practice in just saying no.
Yesterday, I was waiting for the train on the way home from work. I try to be as anti-social as possible on the train. iPod, book, reading the subway ads, anything really to keep me from making eye contact with strangers. I was just putting my headphones in and getting ready to enjoy my 20 minute commute, when a man approaches. He says, You're a teacher, right? Now... I was not carrying any books with me (it's the end of the year and my report cards are done. Like I'm going to do any work at home!), and I was dressed casually in a t-shirt, jeans, and sandals (not really teacher attire), and from all I could tell I had no marker/chalk/visible stains that some teachers carry with them as a proud badge. I had to assume he either knew what school I taught at, maybe he was the father of one of my students, or he was going on the basis that I'm white. I'm not saying that there aren't any white people where I teach... but um, there aren't any white people other than the people who work in the nearby schools. I assured him that I was in fact a teacher. At this point, I didn't think he was trying to hit on me. It doesn't happen all that often, and when it does, I realize it so late, I'm either knee deep in something I don't want to be in or have missed my opportunity. So, he starts talking to me, and mentions that he's seen me before on the train. Ok, I see a lot of the same people on the train every morning. When you commute on the same train, same subway car, everyday, 5 days a week at the same time, it tends to happen. It's not a crowded train, since it's going in the opposite direction that most people commute (away from Manhattan), so you notice people, of course. I wasn't immediately alerted by the fact that he had noticed me. He asked me how old I was. I told him I was 25, and his reply was, "wow, you're young." He didn't look that much older than me, but at that remark, I grew slightly concerned. So I asked him how old he was, to which he replied, "26." Hmm. Yes, 25 is younger than 26. Maybe a whole year younger, but doubtful since I'll be 26 in a few months. I didn't think that was a great enough age difference to warrant a "wow" comment.
*Sidenote, kind of makes me rethink my own age issues when it comes to dating 25 year olds*
We continued talking until the train came, at which point he chose that time to ask me my name and tell me his. There's nothing more opportune than exchanging vital information with the deafening sounds of the subway rolling in. I kind of pretended that I heard his name, not really thinking I would need this information later. He sat with me on the subway and asked me for my number. At this point, we were in the same subway car, we had just left the stop we got on at... I had no idea how long I'd be committed to sharing space with him. That, and I'm just really bad a rejecting people. I could've given him a fake number, the thought ran through my mind briefly, until I remembered that he rides the same train as I do and could cause future awkwardness. That wasn't going to work either. So, I gave him my number knowing full well that this guy is not my type at all. He got off a few stops later, promising he'd call me later. I knew all to well that of course he was going to.
I didn't answer the first time he called. I let it go to voicemail, thinking I'd at least buy myself a day or so with that, before he'd call again. Wrong. Apparently, some guys don't follow those rules. He called again. Maybe an hour or so later. I answered the phone before I even looked at the caller id. Damn. So, I'm on the phone with this guy. We were talking for a while, and he does have a very nice personality. He made me laugh and he seems intelligent. The first question he asked me - What type of restaurant do you like to go to on a first date? Whoa buddy, slow down. I reply with an evasive... Hmm, I don't have one particular place in general (LIE - neighborhood Thai restaurant is clearly my favorite!), to which he follows up his first question with a second - What type of flowers do you like on a first date? Flowers? On a first date? Um.. none - I told him. I was floored at how upfront he was. I mean, there is no game playing here. This guy likes me, and wants to make CERTAIN that I know that. I manage to steer the conversation away from first date talk, and we manage a nice conversation for a while. He mentioned again that he had seen me on the train, and asked if I had remembered him. I hadn't. Clearly. But he goes on, he says, there was one morning that I was sitting across from him (and he told me, that he sat there because he saw that I was already there..creeeeepy) and that I kept making eye-contact with him while I was talking to one of my co-workers. Now, at first I was kind of like, maybe it wasn't me, and he's just remembering it wrong, but he was able to describe both me and my colleague with whom I was speaking. Awesome. But, I shake off that slight stalkerish feeling... and again the conversation picks up nicely. And then he asks me if I remember his name. UhOh... I thought I had been in the clear. At one point, he mentioned his friends calling him "Anthony." So I was like, "Of course, you just said it, it's Anthony." And he was like "No. that's my nickname." Huh? Nickname? I know of nicknames FOR the name Anthony, but until now, I've never heard of Anthony being a nickmame for something else. I guess that is, unless your name is Anton. Right... at least now I know his name. I was ok up through this point, he was nice, and charming and clearly interested in me. And then he comes out with the statement that he wants to have kids, soon. He's been ready since he was 18, but wants one now! I think I almost fell on the floor when he said that. I made it clear that I am in no way shape or form look for any baby daddy drama or anything that has to do with me having a child. I kind of stuttered and stammered for a bit, and thank the lord for call waiting, got another call and told him I had to go.
I doubt this is the last I've heard from my subway stalker. I may have to redirect my morning/evening commute times. Try another subway car. Drive to work. Maybe I'll buy a bike. There's only 2 more weeks of school left anyway.
I should probably just be honest, but in the real world (i.e. outside of jdate) where rejection is a bit harder than just ignoring emails and IMs that I don't want to respond to... I find that I need much practice in just saying no.
Friday, June 09, 2006
A flat tire and Staten Island
So, it's Friday night, a good night for a date. True. However, I am taking 2 of my 3 New York teacher licensing tests tomorrow morning from 8 am until 5 pm.. so, I wasn't planning on going out tonight. However, in true dating fashion, I came home and checked up on some of jdate potentials. There is this one guy who had looked at my profile pretty frequently, but never did anything about it. And I have a little bit of an issue with age where I really don't like dating guys that are younger than me, and this guy is at most 6 months younger than me, not a big deal, but it was enough to keep me from contacting him. Crazy, aren't I? But after reading his profile again, and deciding that he seemed to be a billion times cooler than any of the other guys I've been out with.. Sure, why not, I'll click the little heart which will send him an email of 5 girls, telling him that one of the 5 clicked him... blah blah blah, and if he clicks the heart for me, then we both get a "click alert". Complicated, no? So I clicked the heart, and about 5 minutes later, he clicked as well, and we "clicked". So he IMed me and we got to talking. He likes the same types of books as I do, has read a lot of books that I've been meaning to read... He seemed really cool. and of course, I can't pull off cool. I've just mastered witty/sarcastic, I'm a long ways from cool.
Anyway, we some how got on the topic of the convenience versus the pain of having a car in the city. He was going home to his parents house in Staten Island for the weekend, and was telling me how he had to take the train into Manhattan to catch a bus back through Brooklyn to get to Staten Island. I have a car in Brooklyn, and mentioned while I enjoy it most of the times, it's not always convenient, especially today since I had a major flat tire.
At mention of my flat tire, Jdate boy has an ingenious idea. He will come over and change my tire to the donut tire if I'll drive him home to Staten Island. I needed my tire changed before my tests tomorrow... so, it seemed like a fair trade to me. We've had no phone conversation, no email exchange, just a brief IM conversation to go on. This was either going to be the best meeting or the worst.
I didn't have enough time to do my usual preparation, since he lives only 4 avenues away from me, and I had to shower. I went very casual, t-shirt, jeans, zip up hoodie, wet hair, minimal makeup. Definitely not my best effort, but true to life for me.
He came over, and it wasn't weird even for a second. We had a very natural give and take in the conversation, and I think the fact that the first 20 minutes of meeting him was revolving around actually doing something (changing the tire) made it seem like we had been friends for a long time, instead of having just met. The conversation was great the whole drive to Staten Island, and he made it safely home.
I honestly, truly was not expecting anything out of this, physically. I mean we kind of bartered services and I figured if there was any interest it would amount to the discussion of a real date... if not, no harm no foul.
We're sitting in front of his parents' house, and he was like, I'd invite you in - but it's my parents house... Clearly I am in no way ready to meet any member of his family. I was a-ok with no invitation in. He leans over to hug me good-bye. We hugged and my foot which was on the break slipped and the car jolted a bit, which made me pull away from him. Once I was pulled away, I figured he would just get out of the car. But he stayed. And we kissed. and it was SO good. (anything compared to the fish kiss from last night would have been ok... but this was "butterflies" good.) And then he left. He made mention of doing something later in the week, but who knows. I'm just reveling in the good right now.
And that ladies and gentleman, is the one and only good jdate story I have. It's not as funny as my bad ones. But it's much better to live the good ones than write about the bad ones!
Whether it goes anywhere from here, who knows... but at least the good is there. I was losing faith there for a bit!
Anyway, we some how got on the topic of the convenience versus the pain of having a car in the city. He was going home to his parents house in Staten Island for the weekend, and was telling me how he had to take the train into Manhattan to catch a bus back through Brooklyn to get to Staten Island. I have a car in Brooklyn, and mentioned while I enjoy it most of the times, it's not always convenient, especially today since I had a major flat tire.
At mention of my flat tire, Jdate boy has an ingenious idea. He will come over and change my tire to the donut tire if I'll drive him home to Staten Island. I needed my tire changed before my tests tomorrow... so, it seemed like a fair trade to me. We've had no phone conversation, no email exchange, just a brief IM conversation to go on. This was either going to be the best meeting or the worst.
I didn't have enough time to do my usual preparation, since he lives only 4 avenues away from me, and I had to shower. I went very casual, t-shirt, jeans, zip up hoodie, wet hair, minimal makeup. Definitely not my best effort, but true to life for me.
He came over, and it wasn't weird even for a second. We had a very natural give and take in the conversation, and I think the fact that the first 20 minutes of meeting him was revolving around actually doing something (changing the tire) made it seem like we had been friends for a long time, instead of having just met. The conversation was great the whole drive to Staten Island, and he made it safely home.
I honestly, truly was not expecting anything out of this, physically. I mean we kind of bartered services and I figured if there was any interest it would amount to the discussion of a real date... if not, no harm no foul.
We're sitting in front of his parents' house, and he was like, I'd invite you in - but it's my parents house... Clearly I am in no way ready to meet any member of his family. I was a-ok with no invitation in. He leans over to hug me good-bye. We hugged and my foot which was on the break slipped and the car jolted a bit, which made me pull away from him. Once I was pulled away, I figured he would just get out of the car. But he stayed. And we kissed. and it was SO good. (anything compared to the fish kiss from last night would have been ok... but this was "butterflies" good.) And then he left. He made mention of doing something later in the week, but who knows. I'm just reveling in the good right now.
And that ladies and gentleman, is the one and only good jdate story I have. It's not as funny as my bad ones. But it's much better to live the good ones than write about the bad ones!
Whether it goes anywhere from here, who knows... but at least the good is there. I was losing faith there for a bit!
Fish Out of Water
It was everything it should have been. I met up with my date outside the designated bar in Midtown. He mentioned that he was hungry so we took a cab ride over to a very nice Italian restaurant on the Upper West Side. We had pleasant conversation the entire way, and things were looking good. Dinner progressed nicely. Wow, could this actually be a good date? We chatted easily throughout dinner and both seemed to be enjoying ourselves. After dinner, we walked around the UWS, around to Central Park West. The conversation continued and there was definitely some playful teasing. He mentioned that he was not in the mood to go to a bar, and asked me if I wanted to go back to his apartment.
Ok. I'm not dumb. I know what going up to a guy's apartment entails... and at this point, after the string of bad dates and weird men I had been meeting, I deserved a good healthy make-out session!
So up in the boy's apartment, we made small talk on the couch. He was definitely sitting close enough that we were touching. He first put his hand so it was touching mine, then his arm around me. He says, "I think you're real cute" and leans in for the kill. I wasn't expecting what happened next...
Have you ever seen the way a fish moves his mouth? open. shut. open. shut. Yes. That was this guys killer kissing style. I actually did not even know what to do. I tried to make the best of it, to see if I could adapt my style to match his. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad. I couldn't even figure out what to do! He proceeded to fish kiss my chin and neck while I sat there and pretended it wasn't as bad as it actually was. 10 excruciating minutes later, I managed to stop him, and say that I needed to catch the train because I had to be up early today. I was literally sopping wet from my chin to my nose when I left his apartment.
Of course, he was a complete gentleman and walked me all the way to the bus stop, and gave me a less sloppy kiss goodnight.
What should I do? Is there hope to mold a guys kissing style this late in the game? Do I even want to bother and try again? If the date hadn't been so nice otherwise... I wouldn't even think twice about it. But we definitely got along and it clearly was the best jdate I've had thus far. But that doesn't say much.
But then again, there are always other fish in the sea (hopefully no more "fish kissers" though!)
Ok. I'm not dumb. I know what going up to a guy's apartment entails... and at this point, after the string of bad dates and weird men I had been meeting, I deserved a good healthy make-out session!
So up in the boy's apartment, we made small talk on the couch. He was definitely sitting close enough that we were touching. He first put his hand so it was touching mine, then his arm around me. He says, "I think you're real cute" and leans in for the kill. I wasn't expecting what happened next...
Have you ever seen the way a fish moves his mouth? open. shut. open. shut. Yes. That was this guys killer kissing style. I actually did not even know what to do. I tried to make the best of it, to see if I could adapt my style to match his. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad. I couldn't even figure out what to do! He proceeded to fish kiss my chin and neck while I sat there and pretended it wasn't as bad as it actually was. 10 excruciating minutes later, I managed to stop him, and say that I needed to catch the train because I had to be up early today. I was literally sopping wet from my chin to my nose when I left his apartment.
Of course, he was a complete gentleman and walked me all the way to the bus stop, and gave me a less sloppy kiss goodnight.
What should I do? Is there hope to mold a guys kissing style this late in the game? Do I even want to bother and try again? If the date hadn't been so nice otherwise... I wouldn't even think twice about it. But we definitely got along and it clearly was the best jdate I've had thus far. But that doesn't say much.
But then again, there are always other fish in the sea (hopefully no more "fish kissers" though!)
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
per·son·al·i·ty
(n)
1. the complex of characteristics that distinguishes an individual or a nation or group; especially : the totality of an individual's behavioral and emotional characteristics
2. distinction or excellence of personal and social traits; also : a person having such quality
Hands down the dullest date I've been on. Ever. I mean this guy had the personality of a white wall. And not to mention, he was the spitting image of my ex... minus the glasses and he had hair (albeit not much). The resemblance was enough to creep me out completely. But looks aside, he could have redeemed himself had he presented anything remotely of interest.
So we met outside my favorite Thai restaurant in my neighborhood... and yes, the owners are starting to look at me a little funny (at least I'm loyal). The weather today was crappy, but I was determined to look cute despite the rain. All my efforts though were wasted on the non-responsive dullard I was forced to dine with. First off, his choice of dinner was boring... Pad Thai. A safe bet, in any Thai restaurant... of course, but boring none the less. The conversation was forced from the get-go, even though I am a very talkative person and will talk to anyone, about anything. I asked him questions about his job, and his responses were unenthused and boring. I talked about my job, which I can talk a blue-streak about, and my students provide some entertaining material. But nothing, I don't think this guy laughed one time the entire date. I dont think I'm a particularly funny person blatantly, but my sarcasm can usually muster at least a small laugh or at the very least a raise of the eyebrow. Talking to this guy was like trying to make a British Guard smile - the less he reacted, the harder I tried. Not really. I just kept talking. He must have finished his dinner a full 25 minutes before I did, because I was talking so much.
The one subject that we were able to converse about at length (at length for this date was a good 15 minutes of back and forth conversation) was our dogs. We both have dogs, yet both of our dogs live with our parents. Yup, that's it. The one connection we were able to make. We shared pictures on camera phones, and it was all very romantical. Or a huge stretch for common ground. You decide.
I watched the seconds tick away on my watch which has no second hand. Finally, after a very long hour and a half of the least interesting date ever, I told him I had to pick up a prescription from the pharmacy before it closed (true). Thanking him for dinner, I told him I had a nice time and it was fun (false).
At least I'll sleep well tonight... even writing about this date bored me.
Next Date: Tomorrow. We've had IM exchanges, one good phone convo, and I've been making out with a guy he knows from High School, but he doesn't know that. Should be fun.
1. the complex of characteristics that distinguishes an individual or a nation or group; especially : the totality of an individual's behavioral and emotional characteristics
2. distinction or excellence of personal and social traits; also : a person having such quality
Hands down the dullest date I've been on. Ever. I mean this guy had the personality of a white wall. And not to mention, he was the spitting image of my ex... minus the glasses and he had hair (albeit not much). The resemblance was enough to creep me out completely. But looks aside, he could have redeemed himself had he presented anything remotely of interest.
So we met outside my favorite Thai restaurant in my neighborhood... and yes, the owners are starting to look at me a little funny (at least I'm loyal). The weather today was crappy, but I was determined to look cute despite the rain. All my efforts though were wasted on the non-responsive dullard I was forced to dine with. First off, his choice of dinner was boring... Pad Thai. A safe bet, in any Thai restaurant... of course, but boring none the less. The conversation was forced from the get-go, even though I am a very talkative person and will talk to anyone, about anything. I asked him questions about his job, and his responses were unenthused and boring. I talked about my job, which I can talk a blue-streak about, and my students provide some entertaining material. But nothing, I don't think this guy laughed one time the entire date. I dont think I'm a particularly funny person blatantly, but my sarcasm can usually muster at least a small laugh or at the very least a raise of the eyebrow. Talking to this guy was like trying to make a British Guard smile - the less he reacted, the harder I tried. Not really. I just kept talking. He must have finished his dinner a full 25 minutes before I did, because I was talking so much.
The one subject that we were able to converse about at length (at length for this date was a good 15 minutes of back and forth conversation) was our dogs. We both have dogs, yet both of our dogs live with our parents. Yup, that's it. The one connection we were able to make. We shared pictures on camera phones, and it was all very romantical. Or a huge stretch for common ground. You decide.
I watched the seconds tick away on my watch which has no second hand. Finally, after a very long hour and a half of the least interesting date ever, I told him I had to pick up a prescription from the pharmacy before it closed (true). Thanking him for dinner, I told him I had a nice time and it was fun (false).
At least I'll sleep well tonight... even writing about this date bored me.
Next Date: Tomorrow. We've had IM exchanges, one good phone convo, and I've been making out with a guy he knows from High School, but he doesn't know that. Should be fun.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Jdate doesn't stand for "Jesus date"
So, since my dating schedule has been slow this past week, this post is not a date, but a phone conversation that I had with a potential jdater. I had been talking through IM with this guy that had contacted me on jdate. He seemed nice, 28, from Brooklyn, an actor (although I'm not really sure what kind of work he does... Definitely wasn't good looking enough to be a successful actor). We had talked for a few nights on IM, had already arranged a date for the following Monday, and he asked me if he could call me that night, so we could talk on the phone. That sounded reasonable enough to me. So I gave him my number, but told him I would probably be in bed by midnight, so not to call past then.
He calls at 12:30. So already I know, he doesn't follow instructions well. I was well past asleep, and had actually gone to bed early that night, so I had been sleeping since 11. I was NOT happy to get up to answer my phone. So, after he established that he had woken me from my sleep... He tried to start a conversation with me. I was NOT having any of that. I politely told him that I was sleeping (again!!) and we could talk tomorrow if he wanted. He sounded genuinely put off by the fact that I was getting off the phone. Whatever.
He called the next day around 2:30, maybe he forgot that I'm a teacher... and I have to work during the day. He left me a message, this was what I heard... "Hey Babe, it's ..." Um, what?? Did he just call me BABE? I've talked to him maybe a handful of times on IM... and a half asleep phone call for 2 minutes. Babe?? I don't think so. He repeated it, a few times in the message, and it irked me each time.
I was driving home that day from Brooklyn to my parents house and knew that I'd have about 2 hours in the car free to talk. I called him back and within 5 minutes into the conversation I knew I would never want to meet this person. Before and after every single thing that came out of this guys mouth, he laughed. And not a nice, pleasant laugh... but this laugh, which phonetically, I guess would look something like, "HuuhHuuuh" (think a kind of Beavis and Butthead laugh..) and I found it to be the most unpleasant sound I had heard all day.
During the course of the conversation, I found out that he lived at home. He was turning 29 the following week, and had never finished (gone to?) college. Wow. So he started looking really unappealing really fast. He lives in an area of Brooklyn that is predominately religious Jews. So I asked him if he was religious. His response, "No, but my mother is." I asked, "Do you keep Kosher?" His response, "No." Now, I'm going to pause right here, and tell you that I didn't feel the need to clarify that he was Jewish. He met me through Jdate, enough said. Sadly, I should've asked.
I'm not sure how, but it came out somehow that his mom, while she's very religious, is a very religious CATHOLIC. Not a Jew. Um..Ok, I ask him, so are you Catholic? And he replies, well I'm both.
Now, at this point, I've already made up my mind that I don't want to go on the already planned date I have with him on Monday, but instead of telling him that... I'm going to have some fun.
Me: "You CAN'T be both. It's impossible. There's one thing that separates Christians from Jews. Just one. Do you know what that is?"
Him: "Um.. No."
Me: "Really? You can't think of one thing that all Christians believe in, that NO Jews believe in?"
Him: "ummm..."
Me: "Ok, I'll tell you! JESUS! No Jews believe in Jesus. Do you believe that Jesus is the messiah?"
Him: "Yes."
Me: "Ok then, it's settled, you're not both, you're Christian. Because you believe in Jesus."
Him: "No, I'm both."
Me: "NO. You CAN'T be both! Who is Jewish in your family?"
Him: "My grandmother"
Me: "On what side?"
Him: "My Father's."
Me: "So you're not even really Jewish at all then!"
Him: "Well we go to my grandma's to celebrate the holidays."
Me: "My friends come to my house to celebrate holidays, it doesn't make them Jewish. The fact alone that you believe in Jesus... You are NOT Jewish. Not to mention that you weren't even raised Jewish."
<>
Me: "Why are you even on jdate anyway? You should really put in your profile that you're not Jewish. I think it's very misleading."
Him: "Well, I put that I'm unaffiliated."
Me: "Yes, but there is a choice on jdate that says 'other religion'. Clearly, I was under the impression that you were Jewish. Obviously, you need to make it clearer. Or not be on jdate. There are plenty of other dating sites you can go on, where you don't have to lie about your religion."
Things got pretty weird and awkward after that. The conversation ended shortly thereafter. I was thinking, surely this guy will not want to meet me after I completely belittled him on the phone for a cool 20 minutes. My plan worked partially. He did cancel the date on Monday. He had an audition (or so he says) but wanted to try to meet up afterward. He left this message while I was at work, and again.. Insisted on calling me babe. I didn't call him back. Hoping he would get the hint. He did not. And still has not. He asks me out consistently and persistently.
I am thinking about telling him that I only date Jewish guys. That's a lie. I date a lot of non-Jews, and really have no problem with it. Ultimately, I'd like to meet a really nice Jewish boy, but for now, while I'm just having fun... I'm not going to be so picky. But I did chose Jdate for a reason...
He calls at 12:30. So already I know, he doesn't follow instructions well. I was well past asleep, and had actually gone to bed early that night, so I had been sleeping since 11. I was NOT happy to get up to answer my phone. So, after he established that he had woken me from my sleep... He tried to start a conversation with me. I was NOT having any of that. I politely told him that I was sleeping (again!!) and we could talk tomorrow if he wanted. He sounded genuinely put off by the fact that I was getting off the phone. Whatever.
He called the next day around 2:30, maybe he forgot that I'm a teacher... and I have to work during the day. He left me a message, this was what I heard... "Hey Babe, it's ..." Um, what?? Did he just call me BABE? I've talked to him maybe a handful of times on IM... and a half asleep phone call for 2 minutes. Babe?? I don't think so. He repeated it, a few times in the message, and it irked me each time.
I was driving home that day from Brooklyn to my parents house and knew that I'd have about 2 hours in the car free to talk. I called him back and within 5 minutes into the conversation I knew I would never want to meet this person. Before and after every single thing that came out of this guys mouth, he laughed. And not a nice, pleasant laugh... but this laugh, which phonetically, I guess would look something like, "HuuhHuuuh" (think a kind of Beavis and Butthead laugh..) and I found it to be the most unpleasant sound I had heard all day.
During the course of the conversation, I found out that he lived at home. He was turning 29 the following week, and had never finished (gone to?) college. Wow. So he started looking really unappealing really fast. He lives in an area of Brooklyn that is predominately religious Jews. So I asked him if he was religious. His response, "No, but my mother is." I asked, "Do you keep Kosher?" His response, "No." Now, I'm going to pause right here, and tell you that I didn't feel the need to clarify that he was Jewish. He met me through Jdate, enough said. Sadly, I should've asked.
I'm not sure how, but it came out somehow that his mom, while she's very religious, is a very religious CATHOLIC. Not a Jew. Um..Ok, I ask him, so are you Catholic? And he replies, well I'm both.
Now, at this point, I've already made up my mind that I don't want to go on the already planned date I have with him on Monday, but instead of telling him that... I'm going to have some fun.
Me: "You CAN'T be both. It's impossible. There's one thing that separates Christians from Jews. Just one. Do you know what that is?"
Him: "Um.. No."
Me: "Really? You can't think of one thing that all Christians believe in, that NO Jews believe in?"
Him: "ummm..."
Me: "Ok, I'll tell you! JESUS! No Jews believe in Jesus. Do you believe that Jesus is the messiah?"
Him: "Yes."
Me: "Ok then, it's settled, you're not both, you're Christian. Because you believe in Jesus."
Him: "No, I'm both."
Me: "NO. You CAN'T be both! Who is Jewish in your family?"
Him: "My grandmother"
Me: "On what side?"
Him: "My Father's."
Me: "So you're not even really Jewish at all then!"
Him: "Well we go to my grandma's to celebrate the holidays."
Me: "My friends come to my house to celebrate holidays, it doesn't make them Jewish. The fact alone that you believe in Jesus... You are NOT Jewish. Not to mention that you weren't even raised Jewish."
<
Me: "Why are you even on jdate anyway? You should really put in your profile that you're not Jewish. I think it's very misleading."
Him: "Well, I put that I'm unaffiliated."
Me: "Yes, but there is a choice on jdate that says 'other religion'. Clearly, I was under the impression that you were Jewish. Obviously, you need to make it clearer. Or not be on jdate. There are plenty of other dating sites you can go on, where you don't have to lie about your religion."
Things got pretty weird and awkward after that. The conversation ended shortly thereafter. I was thinking, surely this guy will not want to meet me after I completely belittled him on the phone for a cool 20 minutes. My plan worked partially. He did cancel the date on Monday. He had an audition (or so he says) but wanted to try to meet up afterward. He left this message while I was at work, and again.. Insisted on calling me babe. I didn't call him back. Hoping he would get the hint. He did not. And still has not. He asks me out consistently and persistently.
I am thinking about telling him that I only date Jewish guys. That's a lie. I date a lot of non-Jews, and really have no problem with it. Ultimately, I'd like to meet a really nice Jewish boy, but for now, while I'm just having fun... I'm not going to be so picky. But I did chose Jdate for a reason...
Thursday, June 01, 2006
POST-poned
My post for tonight's date will have to be postponed.. the date isnt happening until Wednesday now. I'm glad because had it been a bad date, I may not have made it tonight. The kids are killing me this week. Must be the weather. Although, I was looking forward to the Thai food.
On that note, is it a bad idea to bring 3 different guys, 3 weeks in a row to the same, small neighborhood restaurant? It's the best Thai food ever, but I wonder what the owners think of me.
On that note, is it a bad idea to bring 3 different guys, 3 weeks in a row to the same, small neighborhood restaurant? It's the best Thai food ever, but I wonder what the owners think of me.
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