I went on my third date with the rain date guy (who will be referred to as T from here on out...) from last week last night. It was kind of last minute, but I did end up asking him out, which I feel ok with. Late Thursday night, after my boring date at the Tea Lounge, I was trying to firm up plans for the weekend. There was the Brooklyn NFT (NFT = Not For Tourists guide book) release party on Friday night, and free copies of the new Brooklyn NFT? I was SO there. I thought it would be something that T would like as well, and I thought it would be nice to see him before I go to Connecticut for the remainder of the weekend. So, ignoring all advice from Debbie (which actually came after I had already done it), I emailed T to see if he was around to get together last night. He emailed me back in the morning that he was, and he would call me. We arranged to meet for dinner before going to the NFT event on 5th Ave in Park Slope. I walked over the 5 Aves and down the 10 or so blocks, but it was a nice crisp autumn night... I should have checked the weather though before I left. Turns out rain was in my forecast.
We ended up going to a really nice French-style restaurant for dinner, and having good 3rd date conversation. I feel like I still don't know enough about this guy, but I think it's nice to get to know someone on a gradual basis. But maybe I should find out his last name... after 3 dates it's probably ok for me to ask. We talked about our families some, I talked about school, we then had a slightly awkward conversation about marriage and babies (not about us having them... but a general discussion of that around our respective family's expectations.) Dinner was great, and even though it had started to rain lightly by the time we left, I hardly noticed. After dinner we went over to the NFT event at a bar on 4th Ave, where we met up with one of my friends. I knew my friend was going to be there, but I didn't know how T was going to react to meeting a friend of mine so soon. I mentioned that my friend was going to be there, but not necessarily that we were going specifically to meet up with him, which technically we weren't. We were going for the free NFTs! But after the loudness of Joya, and how quiet T is, I was concerned anyway. He is so shy that I didn't think he would be able to fare well in the bar atmosphere. I think he managed alright. The bar wasn't too crowded when we got there, and I managed to spot my friend easily. We chatted with my friend and his girlfriend for a little while, but as soon as the bar picked up a bit, we decided it was probably best to go somewhere a little quieter. The rain was picking up, but it still wasn't as bad as it had been on our first date. We tried the holding hands thing, but it was weird, and awkwardly placed. After he fixed his hood due to the increasing rain (and lack of umbrellas on both our part!), he put his arm around me, which was an easier way for us to walk. He stopped at one point, and kissed me in the middle of the street. I don't mind. We headed back over to 5th Ave and up multiple blocks to the Chocolate Room, which is just as delicious as it sounds. It's a cafe, but it specializes in chocolate everything. We each had a cup of the best hot chocolate I've had thus far in Brooklyn (even better than the hot chocolate at Jacques Torres!). It was still early, but he was tired from 2 late nights the previous nights, and I don't think he's as much of a night person as I am. He walked me back to my block, and then we stood on the corner, in the rain, kissing for at least 20 minutes. The rain wasn't heavy, but I was feeling slightly soaked. It was sweet and romantic, and a really nice end to overall a really nice evening. Neither of us made the move to leave, but eventually we parted ways. I was about 4 doors down from my apartment, but when he got home probably about half an hour later, he called me to ask me if I got home alright. He was obviously joking, but the fact that he called me, half an hour after our date... well it makes me think that this is going to turn into something completely different than the rest of my dating experiences thus far.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
boring in brooklyn
Back in the habit of serial dating. I actually had the opportunity to have 3 dates in 3 days this week, but I declined to have a date with a 3rd guy tomorrow night. I may look into seeing last night's date some time over the weekend, I am not sure though if I want to put forth the effort into making plans, or if I should let him ask me out.
Tonight's date was nothing special. It was actually more along the lines of boring than anything else. The guy seemed kind of shy before I met him, but he wasn't necessarily shy... I think it's better described as socially aloof (I wouldn't go as far as to say awkward...) and just kind of dull. We met at the Tea Lounge in Park Slope, but it was crowded and there was no indoor seating, so we sat outside to drink our coffee. It is not outdoor eating/drinking weather anymore. I was COLD. It's not that cold out right now, but it's cold enough that if you spend 2 hours outside, you are going to be chilled straight down to the core. My feet are still cold. The conversation was either boring or slow, and he was uninterested in having the natural give and take of a conversation... so a lot of topics ended with me just trailing off, and him just sitting there. He asked questions and then seemed completely uninterested in the answers. And he did not engage in asking any questions on top of what I had said, so I just kept talking until there was nothing more to say. And then moments of silence. Alright. Well, I tried. I went out, and I tried my best and that's all that matters. It was short, just a little over an hour or so, but by the time I got home, I had been out for 2 full hours, and most of that time spend outdoors on this chilly October evening. There's nothing even interesting to write about the date. It was just wasted time.
Tonight's date was nothing special. It was actually more along the lines of boring than anything else. The guy seemed kind of shy before I met him, but he wasn't necessarily shy... I think it's better described as socially aloof (I wouldn't go as far as to say awkward...) and just kind of dull. We met at the Tea Lounge in Park Slope, but it was crowded and there was no indoor seating, so we sat outside to drink our coffee. It is not outdoor eating/drinking weather anymore. I was COLD. It's not that cold out right now, but it's cold enough that if you spend 2 hours outside, you are going to be chilled straight down to the core. My feet are still cold. The conversation was either boring or slow, and he was uninterested in having the natural give and take of a conversation... so a lot of topics ended with me just trailing off, and him just sitting there. He asked questions and then seemed completely uninterested in the answers. And he did not engage in asking any questions on top of what I had said, so I just kept talking until there was nothing more to say. And then moments of silence. Alright. Well, I tried. I went out, and I tried my best and that's all that matters. It was short, just a little over an hour or so, but by the time I got home, I had been out for 2 full hours, and most of that time spend outdoors on this chilly October evening. There's nothing even interesting to write about the date. It was just wasted time.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Indian Summer
It's like August all over again. Not heat wise, but dating wise. Although there have been no double headers, or 6 dates in one week... But for a work week, this is getting pretty hectic.
I had date numero 2 with the tall, red-headed guy from last week's rain date tonight. I was surprised actually, because we did not have a date planned, and I actually didn't know when he was getting back from being away. Apparently, he got back from his trip this afternoon at 3 and called me to go out at 6. I like not having to wonder.
So we met up around 7 at the subway station by my apartment. I was worried about the greeting, because we had that awkward exchange last time, he went for the handshake, I went for the hug... So he gave me a hug, and it was not completely awkward, but still, yeah, a little bit. We walked all the way down Smith until the restaurants and bars are no longer bountiful, and then back up again, a much nicer night for a walk than last time. It was a tad bit windy, and the air was definitely colder than I would like, but hey, it's Autumn, and I like that. We ended up at a small Indian/Pakistani place on Court St. It was a fine choice, but I was keenly aware when we sat down that we were THE only white people eating there. Now, spending my days in Bed-Stuy, I'm often the only white person in a place, but in a restaurant for some reason I am much more aware of it. The food however was very good. It was a quieter place to eat than last time, and he actually made a comment about that. When we were trying to decide where to get dinner, he said something along the lines of somewhere quieter than last time. I knew that was a mistake... Joya is not a good place to go on first dates. But the very quiet atmosphere was much more enjoyable for conversation. And we talked again about super geeky/pseudo smart topics. I am not sure that I am smart enough for this guy, but he doesn't seem to mind. At least not yet. And he seemed to really enjoy hearing me talk about my students, which was nice, because sometimes it's nice to have a captive audience when I need to vent. He was amused by all the things my students say, which is good, because honestly I forget how amusing they can be. I spend more time being astounded at their pure stupidity. But, he was a very good ear to bend on the topic of my students.
After dinner, it was still cold and windy, so we walked back to the train. I couldn't tell if he was going to kiss me or not, and I wasn't going to go in for it myself... While we were walking he asked me if I was cold and when I said that I was, he put his arm through mine, which I thought was nice. Our first attempt at non-awkward physical interaction. It was still kind of awkward, because I had my bag on that arm, and then it kind of slipped a little.. and so I'm trying to figure out how to fix it without either pulling my arm out of his, or making it seem like I didn't want to be touching him. I managed when we stopped at a light before crossing the street. We reach the subway station, and were saying our goodbyes... and he kissed me. It was really nice. I have some issues with making out in front of subway stations because it's awkward for anyone that needs to enter the subway. So, it was brief, but long enough that we both know that there will be another date to see where this goes.
I do have a date tomorrow night with a different guy. It really is like the summer all over again.
I had date numero 2 with the tall, red-headed guy from last week's rain date tonight. I was surprised actually, because we did not have a date planned, and I actually didn't know when he was getting back from being away. Apparently, he got back from his trip this afternoon at 3 and called me to go out at 6. I like not having to wonder.
So we met up around 7 at the subway station by my apartment. I was worried about the greeting, because we had that awkward exchange last time, he went for the handshake, I went for the hug... So he gave me a hug, and it was not completely awkward, but still, yeah, a little bit. We walked all the way down Smith until the restaurants and bars are no longer bountiful, and then back up again, a much nicer night for a walk than last time. It was a tad bit windy, and the air was definitely colder than I would like, but hey, it's Autumn, and I like that. We ended up at a small Indian/Pakistani place on Court St. It was a fine choice, but I was keenly aware when we sat down that we were THE only white people eating there. Now, spending my days in Bed-Stuy, I'm often the only white person in a place, but in a restaurant for some reason I am much more aware of it. The food however was very good. It was a quieter place to eat than last time, and he actually made a comment about that. When we were trying to decide where to get dinner, he said something along the lines of somewhere quieter than last time. I knew that was a mistake... Joya is not a good place to go on first dates. But the very quiet atmosphere was much more enjoyable for conversation. And we talked again about super geeky/pseudo smart topics. I am not sure that I am smart enough for this guy, but he doesn't seem to mind. At least not yet. And he seemed to really enjoy hearing me talk about my students, which was nice, because sometimes it's nice to have a captive audience when I need to vent. He was amused by all the things my students say, which is good, because honestly I forget how amusing they can be. I spend more time being astounded at their pure stupidity. But, he was a very good ear to bend on the topic of my students.
After dinner, it was still cold and windy, so we walked back to the train. I couldn't tell if he was going to kiss me or not, and I wasn't going to go in for it myself... While we were walking he asked me if I was cold and when I said that I was, he put his arm through mine, which I thought was nice. Our first attempt at non-awkward physical interaction. It was still kind of awkward, because I had my bag on that arm, and then it kind of slipped a little.. and so I'm trying to figure out how to fix it without either pulling my arm out of his, or making it seem like I didn't want to be touching him. I managed when we stopped at a light before crossing the street. We reach the subway station, and were saying our goodbyes... and he kissed me. It was really nice. I have some issues with making out in front of subway stations because it's awkward for anyone that needs to enter the subway. So, it was brief, but long enough that we both know that there will be another date to see where this goes.
I do have a date tomorrow night with a different guy. It really is like the summer all over again.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
NY may still care, but I'm done.
New York Cares Day has come and gone without anything of real note to write about. I was really nervous about going yesterday, I'm not sure why exactly though. I think meeting other people's friends is a high pressure situation, and since I hadn't talked to the 3" guy in 2 weeks, it was making me uneasy.
The actual volunteering was nice, I had a really good time. It was a great day to be outside and helping out. I sound all humanitarian now. I spent a good deal of time with 3 or 4 of 3"s friends, and got to know some of them over the course of the day.
After the volunteering, everyone went home and the after-party was at a bar in Chelsea at 8:30. Of all the times I am late to everything, I showed up for this around 8:45. Strange... there was no one there that I recognized. I didn't think much of it until it got to be almost 9 and I was still the only one there. I called 3" to make sure I was in the right place, to which he confirmed I was indeed in the right place, but he and most of his friends who were coming were still in Queens. They were on their way, he promised, and I should wait for them. Finally, 2 of the girls I had spent a good portion of the day volunteering with showed up and we got to talking. Funny that during the day the topic of how everyone knew the 3" guy never came up. But over a couple of drinks, it did. So, as nondescript as I could, I just said, we went on a few dates. I mean, that is how I know him. I don't even know how to explain how I know him. To which the other girl laughed and said... oh that's great, you and L (name has been removed for anonymity). To which I replied, what? The girl went on to explain that there was another girl at the volunteer event that had dated 3" guy. I kind of had expected that there would be others, and that's ok... I just wanted to know which one she was, and I cursed myself for not paying closer attention to the group members earlier that day. Finally about 45 mins after I had been at the bar, 3" and his friends show up. When a bunch of people got up to get drinks, he moved over and was sitting next to me. He apologized for marking his territory on my neck a few weeks prior, and we were in mid conversation when his friends came back. He didn't seem to mind everyone hearing the story, so I didn't mind passing around the picture on my camera (see photo below). The girl who had been talking to me earlier about 3"s dating habits is on the same dating website as I am. We were talking about awkward moments on first dates, and the subject of height came up. She shared a story about a guy who was so tall he had to crouch down to give her a hug, the only story I had that was comparable was the 3" guy standing on his tippy toes at the end of our first date to give me a hug. That started an entire 3" bash session between me and my new found friend. 3" did not seem to appreciate it, but he's a good sport and took it well.
After most of the people had gone home, 3" guy decided to cozy up to me. After a whole day of the friendship treatment, I didn't react very well to this. I brought up the girl, L, who he apparently had dated. (I think I said something about how there were lots of girls on his team today). He looked really surprised. I told him how I knew, and he said, um, yeah, L is my ex-girlfriend. Ok. That's not what I was really expecting. I thought this girl had been someone he met and been on a few dates with, not someone who he had a relationship with. The night ended around 1, and 3" had to go back to Queens with his friends. We parted with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, no mention of hanging out again. I realized that I like him as the person he is, one on one. In a group, he's too showy, and when he's not around, well then I just don't like him at all. For now, I just can't care enough for the both of us.
However, I am hanging out with some of his friends that I befriended tomorrow. If his friends become my friends, this should make for an interesting situation.
The actual volunteering was nice, I had a really good time. It was a great day to be outside and helping out. I sound all humanitarian now. I spent a good deal of time with 3 or 4 of 3"s friends, and got to know some of them over the course of the day.
After the volunteering, everyone went home and the after-party was at a bar in Chelsea at 8:30. Of all the times I am late to everything, I showed up for this around 8:45. Strange... there was no one there that I recognized. I didn't think much of it until it got to be almost 9 and I was still the only one there. I called 3" to make sure I was in the right place, to which he confirmed I was indeed in the right place, but he and most of his friends who were coming were still in Queens. They were on their way, he promised, and I should wait for them. Finally, 2 of the girls I had spent a good portion of the day volunteering with showed up and we got to talking. Funny that during the day the topic of how everyone knew the 3" guy never came up. But over a couple of drinks, it did. So, as nondescript as I could, I just said, we went on a few dates. I mean, that is how I know him. I don't even know how to explain how I know him. To which the other girl laughed and said... oh that's great, you and L (name has been removed for anonymity). To which I replied, what? The girl went on to explain that there was another girl at the volunteer event that had dated 3" guy. I kind of had expected that there would be others, and that's ok... I just wanted to know which one she was, and I cursed myself for not paying closer attention to the group members earlier that day. Finally about 45 mins after I had been at the bar, 3" and his friends show up. When a bunch of people got up to get drinks, he moved over and was sitting next to me. He apologized for marking his territory on my neck a few weeks prior, and we were in mid conversation when his friends came back. He didn't seem to mind everyone hearing the story, so I didn't mind passing around the picture on my camera (see photo below). The girl who had been talking to me earlier about 3"s dating habits is on the same dating website as I am. We were talking about awkward moments on first dates, and the subject of height came up. She shared a story about a guy who was so tall he had to crouch down to give her a hug, the only story I had that was comparable was the 3" guy standing on his tippy toes at the end of our first date to give me a hug. That started an entire 3" bash session between me and my new found friend. 3" did not seem to appreciate it, but he's a good sport and took it well.
After most of the people had gone home, 3" guy decided to cozy up to me. After a whole day of the friendship treatment, I didn't react very well to this. I brought up the girl, L, who he apparently had dated. (I think I said something about how there were lots of girls on his team today). He looked really surprised. I told him how I knew, and he said, um, yeah, L is my ex-girlfriend. Ok. That's not what I was really expecting. I thought this girl had been someone he met and been on a few dates with, not someone who he had a relationship with. The night ended around 1, and 3" had to go back to Queens with his friends. We parted with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, no mention of hanging out again. I realized that I like him as the person he is, one on one. In a group, he's too showy, and when he's not around, well then I just don't like him at all. For now, I just can't care enough for the both of us.
However, I am hanging out with some of his friends that I befriended tomorrow. If his friends become my friends, this should make for an interesting situation.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
The Ol' Irish Brow
I thought being honest would deter the subway stalker. I thought he would no longer harass me on the subway and while waiting. Why do I allow myself to have such delusions of grandeur?
I was waiting for the train on the way home from school today, I left around 5, which is prime "subway stalker" time. But since I hadn't had any run-ins since the last interaction, I did not really think about it. I saw him before he saw me, but I didn't have time to get my book out or my headphones on, or anything really to look busy. He spotted me of course, and here's the weird thing... he must of had a friend waiting for the train across the platform because he shouted something across to him and looked over at me, back at his friend, and then made some sort of gesture I was trying not to see. I rolled my eyes, and backed up, hoping he wouldn't come over. No such luck. He comes over to me and says, and I quote, "why do you look like a librarian today?" I replied with something along the lines of, um.. because that's what I am... or something very witty like that. He goes on, not only do I look like a librarian, but I should have been wearing my glasses today, because I look hot in my glasses (I some how managed to pull off the librarian look without my librarian glasses, I guess somethings ARE meant to be). And when I replied that I didn't think so, he told me that I was a "hot commodity" and he touched my shoulder. I pulled back and told him I was most certainly not a hot commodity.
You would think that when someone pulls away from you when you touch them, they would stop trying to touch you... But somethings I guess are not that obvious to others. He kept poking me, in a flirty way, and I was really uncomfortable. He goes on to tell me that I look Irish today too. An Irish librarian. Yes! So when I said, well most people usually think I'm Irish because of the hair and the complexion, and he was like no, it's the eyebrows. What? I have Irish eyebrows? What ARE Irish eyebrows? He said that my glasses usually cover them, so he never noticed them before. I can't imagine why not, I mean, Irish eyebrows are the FIRST thing I notice on someone.
Things had reached that awkward moment where I just wanted him to leave, and to stop touching me, when finally the train is approaching the station. He asks (which surprised me) if I wanted him to ride in the subway car with me, or if I wanted him to leave me alone. To which I replied, Well, I have my book, so I think I'll be fine. And so he said goodbye, and says, Alright bye.... um... Erin? And I raise one of my (Irish) brows, and say with a smirk, Erica. And promptly turn away.
And so the saga continues of the subway stalker and the non-Irish lass on the C train in Brooklyn.
I was waiting for the train on the way home from school today, I left around 5, which is prime "subway stalker" time. But since I hadn't had any run-ins since the last interaction, I did not really think about it. I saw him before he saw me, but I didn't have time to get my book out or my headphones on, or anything really to look busy. He spotted me of course, and here's the weird thing... he must of had a friend waiting for the train across the platform because he shouted something across to him and looked over at me, back at his friend, and then made some sort of gesture I was trying not to see. I rolled my eyes, and backed up, hoping he wouldn't come over. No such luck. He comes over to me and says, and I quote, "why do you look like a librarian today?" I replied with something along the lines of, um.. because that's what I am... or something very witty like that. He goes on, not only do I look like a librarian, but I should have been wearing my glasses today, because I look hot in my glasses (I some how managed to pull off the librarian look without my librarian glasses, I guess somethings ARE meant to be). And when I replied that I didn't think so, he told me that I was a "hot commodity" and he touched my shoulder. I pulled back and told him I was most certainly not a hot commodity.
You would think that when someone pulls away from you when you touch them, they would stop trying to touch you... But somethings I guess are not that obvious to others. He kept poking me, in a flirty way, and I was really uncomfortable. He goes on to tell me that I look Irish today too. An Irish librarian. Yes! So when I said, well most people usually think I'm Irish because of the hair and the complexion, and he was like no, it's the eyebrows. What? I have Irish eyebrows? What ARE Irish eyebrows? He said that my glasses usually cover them, so he never noticed them before. I can't imagine why not, I mean, Irish eyebrows are the FIRST thing I notice on someone.
Things had reached that awkward moment where I just wanted him to leave, and to stop touching me, when finally the train is approaching the station. He asks (which surprised me) if I wanted him to ride in the subway car with me, or if I wanted him to leave me alone. To which I replied, Well, I have my book, so I think I'll be fine. And so he said goodbye, and says, Alright bye.... um... Erin? And I raise one of my (Irish) brows, and say with a smirk, Erica. And promptly turn away.
And so the saga continues of the subway stalker and the non-Irish lass on the C train in Brooklyn.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Rain Date
I went on a first date tonight! The first in over 7 weeks. That was quite a hiatus I took from dating, but it felt good to get back into the swing of things. I've decided that the 3'' guy isn't worth all the trouble I've been putting into caring. I will see him on Saturday this week, and I guess I'll see how that goes at his NY Cares event. I'll be going solo, all of his friends will be there... but I'm not stressing it.
Tonight's date was far from what I had expected. I was nervous. Very nervous. Possibly it's because I was away from 1st dating for almost 2 months. The weather today is a far from nice dating weather as you can possibly imagine. It's been raining steadily almost all day with not even a hint of dryness in there. It was cold and grey, and a day I would so much rather spend watching a movie, or reading a book... Not dressing up for a date. But, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do... right?
I was, however, looking forward to the food. Of course. Thai food. But not the usual neighborhood restaurant, I went for the trendy - loud restaurant, which was a decision that I stressed about for most of the day. I had spoken to the guy on the phone for about an hour last night. From the conversation I could tell that he was VERY shy, and very quiet. So when I said, Let's go to Joya (loud, trendy Thai restaurant), I immediately knew I should have opted for the other. But it turned out to be a good idea after all...
We met up around 6 at Joya. I was early, and managed to keep mostly dry. As I waited, I had a small nervous/anxiety attack where I just had no idea how I got back to square one of dating after all that time being away from it. I wanted to leave. He came in, and we had an awkward exchange where I think he went to shake my hand, but I don't shake hands on dates, so I went in for the hug... it was weird. Definitely an uncomfortable way to start the date. He was cute though. Definitely my type. He's tall (yay!), skinny, red haired, bespectacled... geeky cute. We were sat right by the open kitchen, which if Joya wasn't loud enough... sitting right next to the open flames and shouts of the chefs doesn't make it any easier to hear. But we managed. We ordered (and he didn't order Pad Thai!) and talked, the conversation was slow, but it progressed. He definitely warmed up as the date went on. I was not able to read him at all at the beginning of the date. I couldn't tell if he was interested or not, so I just played it as if he were. Either this worked in my favor, or he really was, but it was a good move on my part. When the conversation eased a little bit into a more natural give and take, we talked about a lot of things. He's very smart. It was a very intellectual conversation, and I felt like I was having a mental workout... in a good way. And then I start talking about my mosquito bites. Nothing like bringing an intellectual conversation to a halt than to talk about the mosquitoes that have taken over my apartment. I didn't scare him off though, and it maybe even made him more comfortable. We talked long after our meal had ended, and he mentioned that he wished it were nicer out so we could take a walk. I said the rain didn't bother me (what? who am I trying to kid??) and we could take a walk in the rain. This was probably not a great idea on my part. I do like a nice walk after dinner, and there is no better neighborhood to stroll around than mine (in my humble opinion!), but in the rain it is nothing but miserable and cold. So we walked for about 10 minutes, when we both decided that finding the subway would be a good idea. It's very awkward to walk with someone when you both are carrying umbrellas and are trying to stay as dry as possible. We got to the subway station when I remember that my metrocard is in my school bag during the week. I didn't have it with me, so I was going to have to walk home. I explained my situation, and told him that he should take the train from there, and I'd walk home, since it wasn't that far for me. He was a complete gentleman, and walked back with me. It was quite possibly one of the nicest gestures a guy has made for me on a first date. Walking you to the train is one thing... but walking you an entire subway stop down in the wind and rain is another thing completely. We had another awkward exchange when we said good-bye, it's hard to hug someone when you both have umbrellas and you're trying not to poke each other in the eye. But he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He's going away for a week or so, but said he'd like to get together when he's back, and he even suggested the activity. A planned second date on the first? That's a new development. I'm looking forward to seeing him again.
Tonight's date was far from what I had expected. I was nervous. Very nervous. Possibly it's because I was away from 1st dating for almost 2 months. The weather today is a far from nice dating weather as you can possibly imagine. It's been raining steadily almost all day with not even a hint of dryness in there. It was cold and grey, and a day I would so much rather spend watching a movie, or reading a book... Not dressing up for a date. But, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do... right?
I was, however, looking forward to the food. Of course. Thai food. But not the usual neighborhood restaurant, I went for the trendy - loud restaurant, which was a decision that I stressed about for most of the day. I had spoken to the guy on the phone for about an hour last night. From the conversation I could tell that he was VERY shy, and very quiet. So when I said, Let's go to Joya (loud, trendy Thai restaurant), I immediately knew I should have opted for the other. But it turned out to be a good idea after all...
We met up around 6 at Joya. I was early, and managed to keep mostly dry. As I waited, I had a small nervous/anxiety attack where I just had no idea how I got back to square one of dating after all that time being away from it. I wanted to leave. He came in, and we had an awkward exchange where I think he went to shake my hand, but I don't shake hands on dates, so I went in for the hug... it was weird. Definitely an uncomfortable way to start the date. He was cute though. Definitely my type. He's tall (yay!), skinny, red haired, bespectacled... geeky cute. We were sat right by the open kitchen, which if Joya wasn't loud enough... sitting right next to the open flames and shouts of the chefs doesn't make it any easier to hear. But we managed. We ordered (and he didn't order Pad Thai!) and talked, the conversation was slow, but it progressed. He definitely warmed up as the date went on. I was not able to read him at all at the beginning of the date. I couldn't tell if he was interested or not, so I just played it as if he were. Either this worked in my favor, or he really was, but it was a good move on my part. When the conversation eased a little bit into a more natural give and take, we talked about a lot of things. He's very smart. It was a very intellectual conversation, and I felt like I was having a mental workout... in a good way. And then I start talking about my mosquito bites. Nothing like bringing an intellectual conversation to a halt than to talk about the mosquitoes that have taken over my apartment. I didn't scare him off though, and it maybe even made him more comfortable. We talked long after our meal had ended, and he mentioned that he wished it were nicer out so we could take a walk. I said the rain didn't bother me (what? who am I trying to kid??) and we could take a walk in the rain. This was probably not a great idea on my part. I do like a nice walk after dinner, and there is no better neighborhood to stroll around than mine (in my humble opinion!), but in the rain it is nothing but miserable and cold. So we walked for about 10 minutes, when we both decided that finding the subway would be a good idea. It's very awkward to walk with someone when you both are carrying umbrellas and are trying to stay as dry as possible. We got to the subway station when I remember that my metrocard is in my school bag during the week. I didn't have it with me, so I was going to have to walk home. I explained my situation, and told him that he should take the train from there, and I'd walk home, since it wasn't that far for me. He was a complete gentleman, and walked back with me. It was quite possibly one of the nicest gestures a guy has made for me on a first date. Walking you to the train is one thing... but walking you an entire subway stop down in the wind and rain is another thing completely. We had another awkward exchange when we said good-bye, it's hard to hug someone when you both have umbrellas and you're trying not to poke each other in the eye. But he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He's going away for a week or so, but said he'd like to get together when he's back, and he even suggested the activity. A planned second date on the first? That's a new development. I'm looking forward to seeing him again.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Honesty
Maybe my last post for the subway stalker. I had a run in with the subway stalker earlier this week which required me to be honest to the depths of my soul and just tell him once and for all, I did not want him to call me anymore.
Here's how it all played out:
Tuesday morning I caught the A train (which runs express for all you non-subway connoisseurs) in hopes that it would catch up to a C train (the local), which I would transfer to, one stop before my school's stop. The C train was at the stop I needed it to be, but the conductors have a knack of being power hungry and close the doors right before you get on. So you really have to make a mad dash across the platform, which is exactly what I did. I run, literally, onto the C and to my luck, who is sitting right in the seat across from where i just ran in?? Yes. The subway stalker. Now I could have been mean (he already thinks I am), there were 2 other teachers from my school in the car, and I could've gone over to them and ignored him completely. But I was feeling kind of shocked and it was too early for me to think of anything, so I stood by the door and just said hi. He went on to talk to me about he thanks God everyday for his job, and I have no idea where this came from.. we were on the train for maybe 3 minutes. He definitely talked about God the whole time. So I thought it would be fun to tell him that I don't believe in God. He then goes on to say that he thanks God everyday for all the good he has brought into his life blah blah blah... and I say, but what about the bad things? He thanks God for those things to. I don't know, if you ask me, I don't thank anyone for the bad things that happen to me. In fact there's a lot of taking the lord's name in vain and unpleasantries when bad things happen to me. I just rolled my eyes when he said the whole thing about thanking God for the bad things too, and since we were out of the turnstile, I thought this was where our interaction would end.
Oh no. He says that he'll walk me out. Like to school? He's going to walk me to school? I'm not sure if this was his intention or not, we never got that far. He mentioned how he wasn't going to call me again, because I had never returned any of his phone calls. So if I wanted to, I could call him. My guilt conscience kicked in then, and of course I started saying how my phone had broke and I had to get a replacement (true), and in the process I lost all my phone numbers (lie - but it didn't matter, his number isn't in my phone anyway.) As I'm saying this, I'm hearing a voice in my head saying NO! WHY?? YOU HAD AN EASY OUT!! He was never going to call me again, if I didn't call him. Easy enough. I'm never going to call him even if did have his number. Why did I have to open my stupid mouth? His reply was, So you want me to call you then? I pause, think about all the times I felt bad when he called and called, and I never picked up. How I thought i should've just been honest with him from the start. So I turned to him and said, No, I don't want you to call me either. He was really taken back by that comment. Personally, I was too. I was proud of myself though. I was honest and now I don't have the fear of the subway stalker hanging over me every morning when I get on the train. I might see him. Maybe we'll say hi. But I made it clear that I am not interested. Honesty, finally.
Here's how it all played out:
Tuesday morning I caught the A train (which runs express for all you non-subway connoisseurs) in hopes that it would catch up to a C train (the local), which I would transfer to, one stop before my school's stop. The C train was at the stop I needed it to be, but the conductors have a knack of being power hungry and close the doors right before you get on. So you really have to make a mad dash across the platform, which is exactly what I did. I run, literally, onto the C and to my luck, who is sitting right in the seat across from where i just ran in?? Yes. The subway stalker. Now I could have been mean (he already thinks I am), there were 2 other teachers from my school in the car, and I could've gone over to them and ignored him completely. But I was feeling kind of shocked and it was too early for me to think of anything, so I stood by the door and just said hi. He went on to talk to me about he thanks God everyday for his job, and I have no idea where this came from.. we were on the train for maybe 3 minutes. He definitely talked about God the whole time. So I thought it would be fun to tell him that I don't believe in God. He then goes on to say that he thanks God everyday for all the good he has brought into his life blah blah blah... and I say, but what about the bad things? He thanks God for those things to. I don't know, if you ask me, I don't thank anyone for the bad things that happen to me. In fact there's a lot of taking the lord's name in vain and unpleasantries when bad things happen to me. I just rolled my eyes when he said the whole thing about thanking God for the bad things too, and since we were out of the turnstile, I thought this was where our interaction would end.
Oh no. He says that he'll walk me out. Like to school? He's going to walk me to school? I'm not sure if this was his intention or not, we never got that far. He mentioned how he wasn't going to call me again, because I had never returned any of his phone calls. So if I wanted to, I could call him. My guilt conscience kicked in then, and of course I started saying how my phone had broke and I had to get a replacement (true), and in the process I lost all my phone numbers (lie - but it didn't matter, his number isn't in my phone anyway.) As I'm saying this, I'm hearing a voice in my head saying NO! WHY?? YOU HAD AN EASY OUT!! He was never going to call me again, if I didn't call him. Easy enough. I'm never going to call him even if did have his number. Why did I have to open my stupid mouth? His reply was, So you want me to call you then? I pause, think about all the times I felt bad when he called and called, and I never picked up. How I thought i should've just been honest with him from the start. So I turned to him and said, No, I don't want you to call me either. He was really taken back by that comment. Personally, I was too. I was proud of myself though. I was honest and now I don't have the fear of the subway stalker hanging over me every morning when I get on the train. I might see him. Maybe we'll say hi. But I made it clear that I am not interested. Honesty, finally.
Monday, October 09, 2006
in 3's
Last night was date #3, with the 3" guy, 3 weeks after our last date. Actually, all 3 dates have been spaced out evenly... 3 weeks to the day between each one. I guess my last ditch effort worked to some extent (see below). Friday night after I posted the blog, freaked out a bit about being so lame, I went to bed around 2 am. I had just drifted off to sleep, and was in that hazy half awake, half asleep phase, when I heard a noise... it was one of those times where you hear something you recognize, and you know you should react to it. My first thought was... that's strange, I didn't set my alarm tonight. It was my phone, and it was 2:30, and it was the 3" guy calling me. After I have convinced him that no, he did not in fact wake me up (I am a liar!), he proceeds to tell me that I should have signed up for his volunteer thing earlier because apparently that night he had a party for all of his volunteers at some bar. Oh well. We talked on the phone for a while, not necessarily marathon length, but the conversation was over an hour. He asked me what I was doing for the rest of the weekend, and we decided to go out again on Sunday night. (making it 6 weeks to the day since date #1, and 3 weeks to day since date #2)
So last night was the 3rd date. We met up at the corner of 20th and 6th, near his work since he was working yesterday. We walked down to 3rd avenue, and back around up to Park on 19th where we stopped in for dinner at Duke's (note: same place I went to with the mullet guy). We had dinner, talked, laughed, cheered for the Eagles. It was all very nice, I guess. Maybe I was just tired, or maybe I wasn't finding him as entertaining as I had before, or maybe Duke's isn't a good place for me to date... whatever it was, I wasn't as into him as I had been on the previous date. I found less to talk about, but that's ok. He managed to carry the conversation for the both of us. I'm not saying it was a bad date. It most definitely was not! It was a very good date. And I had a lot of fun, it was just maybe too built up in my head because I was so convinced on how much I liked him. After dinner, he was very tired, and wanted to go home. He invited me to go back to his place, in Astoria (not close!), to hang out and watch some tv. Yeah right. But ok, I decided I'd go, hang out for a bit, and take the train home later that night. I had nothing else to do, why not? So we went back to his apartment... and somewhere on the N train the old feelings kicked back in. Maybe it is Duke's, and I need not to go there anymore on dates - it's good food, but it kills all romantic feelings whatsoever. I was glad that I had decided to come back with him.
Once at his apartment we hung out for a bit, talked, he gave me the "grand tour" of his one bedroom apartment, which surprisingly ended in the bedroom. We made out for a bit, but I was being unreasonably and uncharacteristically shy. I'm not sure why, I think it has to do with the fact that I go through these crazy 3 week cycles between dates, and I didn't want to get too far in over my head on this one. But I was being much more reserved than I have ever been. He really must think I'm crazy. But I managed to relax a little bit, we made out for a bit. We were just lying there together and then he says to me, "so, you're staying over right?" I didn't know how to respond to this. It wasn't like he was inviting me to stay over. I really had no intention of staying, but it was late by that time, and the trains are not the most reliable, if he wanted me to, I would. So my response was, "I don't care, if you want me to." Which I knew would piss him off because he said to me earlier in the evening that I don't care about anything and that I always say "I don't care." In my defense, the only reason I say "I don't care" isn't to placate the guy, it's because I honestly don't care. So he kind of sighs an exasperated sigh, and I say something about not having my contact stuff with me. To which he replies that he has an extra case that I can use. I take this as a sign that he does in fact want me to stay. Thus, I spent the night. This is the first time I've spent the entire night with a guy since May. I didn't sleep well, and I was very consciously aware the whole time of where I was in relation to where he was. He slept kind of in the middle of the bed, so I had to sleep close to him the entire night, and he kept his arm spread out under me for a good portion of the night, which made me think he must have been uncomfortable like that, so I tried to sleep over his arm, or below where it was resting on the bed. Over all.. it did not make for good sleeping for me. But it was nice.
Look, I even got a souvenir to take home.
So last night was the 3rd date. We met up at the corner of 20th and 6th, near his work since he was working yesterday. We walked down to 3rd avenue, and back around up to Park on 19th where we stopped in for dinner at Duke's (note: same place I went to with the mullet guy). We had dinner, talked, laughed, cheered for the Eagles. It was all very nice, I guess. Maybe I was just tired, or maybe I wasn't finding him as entertaining as I had before, or maybe Duke's isn't a good place for me to date... whatever it was, I wasn't as into him as I had been on the previous date. I found less to talk about, but that's ok. He managed to carry the conversation for the both of us. I'm not saying it was a bad date. It most definitely was not! It was a very good date. And I had a lot of fun, it was just maybe too built up in my head because I was so convinced on how much I liked him. After dinner, he was very tired, and wanted to go home. He invited me to go back to his place, in Astoria (not close!), to hang out and watch some tv. Yeah right. But ok, I decided I'd go, hang out for a bit, and take the train home later that night. I had nothing else to do, why not? So we went back to his apartment... and somewhere on the N train the old feelings kicked back in. Maybe it is Duke's, and I need not to go there anymore on dates - it's good food, but it kills all romantic feelings whatsoever. I was glad that I had decided to come back with him.
Once at his apartment we hung out for a bit, talked, he gave me the "grand tour" of his one bedroom apartment, which surprisingly ended in the bedroom. We made out for a bit, but I was being unreasonably and uncharacteristically shy. I'm not sure why, I think it has to do with the fact that I go through these crazy 3 week cycles between dates, and I didn't want to get too far in over my head on this one. But I was being much more reserved than I have ever been. He really must think I'm crazy. But I managed to relax a little bit, we made out for a bit. We were just lying there together and then he says to me, "so, you're staying over right?" I didn't know how to respond to this. It wasn't like he was inviting me to stay over. I really had no intention of staying, but it was late by that time, and the trains are not the most reliable, if he wanted me to, I would. So my response was, "I don't care, if you want me to." Which I knew would piss him off because he said to me earlier in the evening that I don't care about anything and that I always say "I don't care." In my defense, the only reason I say "I don't care" isn't to placate the guy, it's because I honestly don't care. So he kind of sighs an exasperated sigh, and I say something about not having my contact stuff with me. To which he replies that he has an extra case that I can use. I take this as a sign that he does in fact want me to stay. Thus, I spent the night. This is the first time I've spent the entire night with a guy since May. I didn't sleep well, and I was very consciously aware the whole time of where I was in relation to where he was. He slept kind of in the middle of the bed, so I had to sleep close to him the entire night, and he kept his arm spread out under me for a good portion of the night, which made me think he must have been uncomfortable like that, so I tried to sleep over his arm, or below where it was resting on the bed. Over all.. it did not make for good sleeping for me. But it was nice.
Look, I even got a souvenir to take home.
Pretty, isn't it?
Saturday, October 07, 2006
I Care.
Well. I decided to make one last ditch effort with the 3" guy before continuing on with my dating life. I know, I know. I should cash in my chips while I'm ahead. But I was never good at gambling, and I'm even worse at this whole dating thing. Only when I really like the guy. So, the 3" guy has been giving me the run-around for a solid 3 weeks now since our last date. Ok. We've emailed, and such, and he might be interested in me. But at this point, probably not. It's been way too long without even so much as a phone conversation. I mean there's only so much you can convey through an email. My hunch is he's dating a lot of people right now, maybe like where I was, oh, about 2 months ago... and doesn't NOT like me, but I'm not worth cutting off his dates with the rest of the NYC population.
I understand that. I was there. I dated a lot of guys that were nice enough, that I would've gone out with again, but my dating schedule didn't really allow for seconds. I barely had enough time for the firsts. You lose track of these things.
But... Because I like this guy, I did something really stupid. I signed up to be on his NY Cares volunteer team for NY Cares Day in 3 weeks. In fairness, he invited me to. But I probably should have bowed out of this one gracefully. Yeah, because I REALLY want to go to a much more privileged school than the one I teach at, and help them "clean it up" and make it a "better" place. Please. That's what I do, day in and day out at my job. It's a good cause, and I really believe in what NY Cares does for public schools, and for the city, I just wish they would choose schools that really had a need for it, maybe one more like the school I teach at. But no, I'm going to be getting up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday to fix up a city school. Wait.. did I say city school? I mean I guess technically Staten Island IS part of the city, but it requires me to either drive there, or take the subway into Manhattan, and then take a bus BACK through Brooklyn into Staten Island. And won't I just look like the prettiest picture of desperation this side of the city has seen in a long time.
I understand that. I was there. I dated a lot of guys that were nice enough, that I would've gone out with again, but my dating schedule didn't really allow for seconds. I barely had enough time for the firsts. You lose track of these things.
But... Because I like this guy, I did something really stupid. I signed up to be on his NY Cares volunteer team for NY Cares Day in 3 weeks. In fairness, he invited me to. But I probably should have bowed out of this one gracefully. Yeah, because I REALLY want to go to a much more privileged school than the one I teach at, and help them "clean it up" and make it a "better" place. Please. That's what I do, day in and day out at my job. It's a good cause, and I really believe in what NY Cares does for public schools, and for the city, I just wish they would choose schools that really had a need for it, maybe one more like the school I teach at. But no, I'm going to be getting up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday to fix up a city school. Wait.. did I say city school? I mean I guess technically Staten Island IS part of the city, but it requires me to either drive there, or take the subway into Manhattan, and then take a bus BACK through Brooklyn into Staten Island. And won't I just look like the prettiest picture of desperation this side of the city has seen in a long time.
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