I managed to avoid an uncomfortable run-in with the Israeli and his mom at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden today. We were both there at the same time, but it was so crowded that it was not an issue at all. Maybe I can avoid the whole parental thing while she's here.
I spent the night at the Israeli's on Thursday night. It was the last night we would spend at his apartment, since now his family is here until he is gone. It was a non-descript night, we hung out, watched some tv, went to bed. We talked in bed for a while, but we were both really tired. The thunder and rain woke us up a few times, so I ended up not sleeping very well either. Overall, not eventful. It wasn't sad, I didn't get the same teary upset feeling that I had felt the last time I was there. I guess he'll be spending more time at my place now, or so he says. I don't know how I feel about that.
He leaves May 29th. I know that he's staying here May 28th... I wonder how I will feel then. The end is so near. That weekend will be one year since I started this crazy blog, one year since that awful make-up wearing date... and I'll be right back to where I started.
(*edit - or rather why I should not post while tired/after a few drinks: for those of you who caught my slip in using the Israeli's real name - thanks for the heads up! It has been changed.)
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Motek
The Israeli called me Monday night, around midnight. I was sleeping and pretty irritable from being woken up. He asked if he had woken me, I mumbled something incoherent, and I think he said he'd call me the next day.
He did. He called around 7:30 on Tuesday. He had just gotten home from work, and was anxious for me to come over. At one point while we were talking on the phone he actually said, ok, I'm getting off the phone because I want you to come over. I was doing some school work, so I took my time getting my stuff together to go to his place. He called me probably about 45 minutes later to ask where I was. Yeah. I was still at home, and really still not in any rush. I finally made it over there around 9 I guess.
The Israeli was very affectionate and cuddly from the moment I got there. We hung out on the couch, watched some basketball, and caught up on the week since we had seen each other last. He reminded me again that his mom is coming on Friday. I know. He tells me every time we talk. My parents are coming to visit on Saturday, and we're going to the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens and Coney Island. The Israeli said that he and his mom were going to be at the Botanic Garden on Saturday too, and maybe we could meet up there. Oh no. That would be awful, and way too boyfriendy. Actually, that's more than boyfriendy. My ex who I dated for over 2 years (and lived with) never had his parents meet my parents. I've never had my parents meet the parents of the guy I'm dating. Ever. That's too much of a serious step, especially for someone who is leaving in a few weeks.... and is NOT my boyfriend. I feel like I need to constantly remind myself of that fact.
After the basketball game was over, we chatted for a bit, ended up in his room... We were going to watch a movie, that never happened. I don't know why, but I felt myself getting kind of weepy/teary a few times during the night. I'm hoping it was just hormonal related emotions, but I think I need to face that I really will miss him once he is gone. We stayed in bed for a while, and it was a great time again. Each time is surprising to me. Around 11:30, we decided to shower and get ready for bed. We're chatting before bed, I was sitting on the couch and he brings me a book that he had ordered but knew that I wanted to read too. He told me I could read it first, which was really sweet. I thanked him, and then he told me that he ordered me something. What? I asked him clarify. He said that he bought me something, a present. I asked him what it was, but he only said it was a surprise and I'd have to wait. Sweet, I'm sure. I'm a little nervous though, and I haven't gotten him anything. I don't even really know when the last time I'll see him will be. I guess I should get him something though, now that I know he got me something. Oh dear.
We were going to sleep, about an hour later, and he says to me Layla Tov - goodnight in Hebrew - which is typical... until he added - Motek (sweetie.) I pretended I didn't know what Motek meant. It's the first time he had used that term with me. It's frustrating because I feel like he's getting more and more affectionate emotionally, as well as physically. And then he's going to leave.
He did. He called around 7:30 on Tuesday. He had just gotten home from work, and was anxious for me to come over. At one point while we were talking on the phone he actually said, ok, I'm getting off the phone because I want you to come over. I was doing some school work, so I took my time getting my stuff together to go to his place. He called me probably about 45 minutes later to ask where I was. Yeah. I was still at home, and really still not in any rush. I finally made it over there around 9 I guess.
The Israeli was very affectionate and cuddly from the moment I got there. We hung out on the couch, watched some basketball, and caught up on the week since we had seen each other last. He reminded me again that his mom is coming on Friday. I know. He tells me every time we talk. My parents are coming to visit on Saturday, and we're going to the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens and Coney Island. The Israeli said that he and his mom were going to be at the Botanic Garden on Saturday too, and maybe we could meet up there. Oh no. That would be awful, and way too boyfriendy. Actually, that's more than boyfriendy. My ex who I dated for over 2 years (and lived with) never had his parents meet my parents. I've never had my parents meet the parents of the guy I'm dating. Ever. That's too much of a serious step, especially for someone who is leaving in a few weeks.... and is NOT my boyfriend. I feel like I need to constantly remind myself of that fact.
After the basketball game was over, we chatted for a bit, ended up in his room... We were going to watch a movie, that never happened. I don't know why, but I felt myself getting kind of weepy/teary a few times during the night. I'm hoping it was just hormonal related emotions, but I think I need to face that I really will miss him once he is gone. We stayed in bed for a while, and it was a great time again. Each time is surprising to me. Around 11:30, we decided to shower and get ready for bed. We're chatting before bed, I was sitting on the couch and he brings me a book that he had ordered but knew that I wanted to read too. He told me I could read it first, which was really sweet. I thanked him, and then he told me that he ordered me something. What? I asked him clarify. He said that he bought me something, a present. I asked him what it was, but he only said it was a surprise and I'd have to wait. Sweet, I'm sure. I'm a little nervous though, and I haven't gotten him anything. I don't even really know when the last time I'll see him will be. I guess I should get him something though, now that I know he got me something. Oh dear.
We were going to sleep, about an hour later, and he says to me Layla Tov - goodnight in Hebrew - which is typical... until he added - Motek (sweetie.) I pretended I didn't know what Motek meant. It's the first time he had used that term with me. It's frustrating because I feel like he's getting more and more affectionate emotionally, as well as physically. And then he's going to leave.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
A week's time
A lot can happen in a week. Unfortunately a lot can not happen as well. It's been a week since I've talked to the Israeli at all. I honestly was surprised when I didn't hear from him at all over last week. I knew he was going to be going away for the weekend this weekend and I wouldn't see him at all, so I thought he would have called me Wednesday or Thursday night.
By 9:30 on Thursday when I still hadn't heard from him, I decided to give him a call. I first tried his home number, but there was no answer there. I didn't leave a message because I didn't want to have to wait for him to call me back... so I called his cell phone after that. He answered and told me he was still at work, and they were getting ready for the weekend presentations, which I understood was pressing. I told him to call me when he left work. I still haven't heard from him. I mean I guess technically this weekend was work for him, but no, that's not an excuse. His mother arrives on Friday and will be staying for a few weeks, I don't really know how much I will see of the Israeli from this point on. It may even be over for all I know. A week's time is long enough to go without hearing from someone to assume that this may not be happening anymore. After 3 months though, I expect that he should tell me.
In other news, for those of you who don't know this already, I will be leaving the city in 4 short months. I plan to continue dating up until the end, so as not to disappoint. Dating season is right around the corner, oh those summer days. Some choose baseball games, beer, and boyfriends... I choose dating, drinking (beer included!), and double headers... ahh, those summer months. Can't wait!
By 9:30 on Thursday when I still hadn't heard from him, I decided to give him a call. I first tried his home number, but there was no answer there. I didn't leave a message because I didn't want to have to wait for him to call me back... so I called his cell phone after that. He answered and told me he was still at work, and they were getting ready for the weekend presentations, which I understood was pressing. I told him to call me when he left work. I still haven't heard from him. I mean I guess technically this weekend was work for him, but no, that's not an excuse. His mother arrives on Friday and will be staying for a few weeks, I don't really know how much I will see of the Israeli from this point on. It may even be over for all I know. A week's time is long enough to go without hearing from someone to assume that this may not be happening anymore. After 3 months though, I expect that he should tell me.
In other news, for those of you who don't know this already, I will be leaving the city in 4 short months. I plan to continue dating up until the end, so as not to disappoint. Dating season is right around the corner, oh those summer days. Some choose baseball games, beer, and boyfriends... I choose dating, drinking (beer included!), and double headers... ahh, those summer months. Can't wait!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Night and Day
Friday night the Israeli invited me over for dinner. At first I had thought I was just going to go over as usual, we'd watch a movie and then go to bed. Our usual evening activities. But he told me that he wanted to make me dinner, and had prepared this amazing meal for when I got there. I haven't had a guy cook dinner for me in over 2 and a half years, when I was living with my ex, and he wasn't really cooking for me (when he did cook), it was essential day to day cooking. The Israeli had prepared for me his "specialty" dish, which was fettuccine with a pesto/alfredo sauce with sun dried tomatoes and chicken, and there was a salad of tomatoes, carrots, pine nuts, basil, and feta cheese in olive oil. I brought a bottle of wine. I helped him with the salad when I first got there, and we sat down to my first boy-cooked meal in a very long time. I was so impressed. I could tell he was trying really hard to make a good impression, and he succeeded. He mentioned again about me meeting his mom when she arrives in 2 weeks. It makes me really nervous, and I'm not sure why I would want to, it's kind of awkward. I'm not his girlfriend. So how do you introduce someone like that to your mother who is visiting? This is the girl I've been sleeping with for the past 3 months? I'm not so uncomfortable about meeting his brother who is coming to stay a week later than his mother. They are both staying for an extended time though. His mother is staying for a month, although she will be traveling to other places during that time: Boston, Chicago, etc. His brother is staying for 2 months, but they are traveling to the west coast when the Israeli is done work at the end of May.
The rest of the night was great. After dinner, the Israeli took out some strawberries and grapes, for dessert, but that didn't happen right away. We spent a few hours making out and eventually got back to the fruit, and a movie. We watched Children of Men, and then he was playing more music for me to hear. I was so tired though, it was probably only 1:30, but I was exhausted. I ended up falling asleep on his shoulder on the couch while he was playing with his music. We went to bed not long after that, and he was very cuddly, wanting to hold me, etc. It's all very nice, but I have to keep reminding myself that he is not my boyfriend. At night I need to remind myself of this, in the morning, it's pretty evident. He is 10x less affectionate in the morning, consistently than he is at night. After he gets out of bed in the morning, it's like a totally different person. With the exception of a kiss goodbye usually, once we are out of bed in the morning, there is little to no affection displayed. I'm fine with that, and it helps me when I go home to not be overly expectant of anything to come with him. It's hard when there are such extremes, it's literally the difference between night and day.
The rest of the night was great. After dinner, the Israeli took out some strawberries and grapes, for dessert, but that didn't happen right away. We spent a few hours making out and eventually got back to the fruit, and a movie. We watched Children of Men, and then he was playing more music for me to hear. I was so tired though, it was probably only 1:30, but I was exhausted. I ended up falling asleep on his shoulder on the couch while he was playing with his music. We went to bed not long after that, and he was very cuddly, wanting to hold me, etc. It's all very nice, but I have to keep reminding myself that he is not my boyfriend. At night I need to remind myself of this, in the morning, it's pretty evident. He is 10x less affectionate in the morning, consistently than he is at night. After he gets out of bed in the morning, it's like a totally different person. With the exception of a kiss goodbye usually, once we are out of bed in the morning, there is little to no affection displayed. I'm fine with that, and it helps me when I go home to not be overly expectant of anything to come with him. It's hard when there are such extremes, it's literally the difference between night and day.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Not Mine
So one of the good things about having a dating blog is that it really opens people up to telling you about their bad dates. The following story was told to me by a friend at dinner on Tuesday night. We were at dinner, and the topic turns to dating, the Israeli, my blog... and my one friend turns to the other and says, "You have to tell her the story about the Q-tip guy." Q-tip guy... I'm already intrigued. The date itself happened years ago, and the friend is now happily engaged (so there is hope that after all these bad dates there will be a good one somewhere down the line??). This is her story. It was way too classic not to post (with her permission of course!)
and so without further ado...
The Q-Tip
So this girl, we'll call her A for the sake of the story, was on her 4th date with this guy. He invited A over for dinner, which he was going to prepare. He opens the door wearing a sparkly shirt and shoes. (I'm pretty sure he was wearing pants too, but they weren't worth mentioning... must not have been sparkly enough.) He was a DJ, and apparently had just gotten home from DJing a high school dance. I think he was just dressing to impress, I mean if diamonds are a girl's best friend, sparkly shirts must run a close second. As for dinner, now, he was a few years her senior, and should have had this cooking thing down by then, I would think. But you know, some bachelors rely solely on microwave ovens and take out, and barely know how to boil water. If he needed a little help, that's ok. While he cooked dinner, he proceeded to call his mom on the phone multiple times, (my assumption was to ask for cooking assistance??) but whatever the case may be, the meal did not turn out in his favor. Atrocious may have been the word A used to describe it.
After this really bad meal, he then tells A that he feels sweaty (from cooking? DJing? or maybe the sparkly shirt retains a lot of heat and moisture - part shirt, part greenhouse) and he wants to take a shower. He tells her that she can check her email or go online while he's in there. A little awkward for a 4th date to be left alone under such circumstances. While he's in the shower he calls out for A and asks her if she can bring him some shampoo that's in his hall closet. A goes over, maybe expecting your typical boy shampoo selection. Not for sparkly shirt guy! Of course not, A has the choice of sun-ripened raspberry, peach, and many other Bath and Bodyworks shampoo selections. (This was weird enough - at this point her date was running close to my make-up wearing date which initiated the blog. As this dawned on me, I realized that we hadn't even gotten to any Q-tip action yet!) The sparkly shirt guy (sans shirt) emerges from the shower wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist. He proceeds to walk back and forth in front of where A was sitting, with his towel (and his man-bits) flapping openly for all the world to see.
It could have ended there. It would still have been a horrendous date. But it does not end there. He comes over to A, still dressed only in a towel, and a single Q-tip in hand. While talking to A, he proceeds to clean one ear first, then puts the Q-tip in his mouth and sucks on the end that has just been inside his ear (I wish I could demonstrate through words the actual visual movements that went along with this) and then puts the Q-tip into his other ear and repeats the process several times. I am as skeptical as the next, so of course I ask A: When you say he sucked on the Q-tip... To which A replied: No, he SUCKED on the Q-tip, like a lollipop, like he had never sucked before. From there, I have no idea if she ran out of there screaming, made up an excuse, or climbed out the bathroom window, but she should have high-tailed it out of there pronto.
The story of A and the Q-tip ends there, and even though it's not my own dating disaster, it certainly was a date worth documenting.
and so without further ado...
The Q-Tip
So this girl, we'll call her A for the sake of the story, was on her 4th date with this guy. He invited A over for dinner, which he was going to prepare. He opens the door wearing a sparkly shirt and shoes. (I'm pretty sure he was wearing pants too, but they weren't worth mentioning... must not have been sparkly enough.) He was a DJ, and apparently had just gotten home from DJing a high school dance. I think he was just dressing to impress, I mean if diamonds are a girl's best friend, sparkly shirts must run a close second. As for dinner, now, he was a few years her senior, and should have had this cooking thing down by then, I would think. But you know, some bachelors rely solely on microwave ovens and take out, and barely know how to boil water. If he needed a little help, that's ok. While he cooked dinner, he proceeded to call his mom on the phone multiple times, (my assumption was to ask for cooking assistance??) but whatever the case may be, the meal did not turn out in his favor. Atrocious may have been the word A used to describe it.
After this really bad meal, he then tells A that he feels sweaty (from cooking? DJing? or maybe the sparkly shirt retains a lot of heat and moisture - part shirt, part greenhouse) and he wants to take a shower. He tells her that she can check her email or go online while he's in there. A little awkward for a 4th date to be left alone under such circumstances. While he's in the shower he calls out for A and asks her if she can bring him some shampoo that's in his hall closet. A goes over, maybe expecting your typical boy shampoo selection. Not for sparkly shirt guy! Of course not, A has the choice of sun-ripened raspberry, peach, and many other Bath and Bodyworks shampoo selections. (This was weird enough - at this point her date was running close to my make-up wearing date which initiated the blog. As this dawned on me, I realized that we hadn't even gotten to any Q-tip action yet!) The sparkly shirt guy (sans shirt) emerges from the shower wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist. He proceeds to walk back and forth in front of where A was sitting, with his towel (and his man-bits) flapping openly for all the world to see.
It could have ended there. It would still have been a horrendous date. But it does not end there. He comes over to A, still dressed only in a towel, and a single Q-tip in hand. While talking to A, he proceeds to clean one ear first, then puts the Q-tip in his mouth and sucks on the end that has just been inside his ear (I wish I could demonstrate through words the actual visual movements that went along with this) and then puts the Q-tip into his other ear and repeats the process several times. I am as skeptical as the next, so of course I ask A: When you say he sucked on the Q-tip... To which A replied: No, he SUCKED on the Q-tip, like a lollipop, like he had never sucked before. From there, I have no idea if she ran out of there screaming, made up an excuse, or climbed out the bathroom window, but she should have high-tailed it out of there pronto.
The story of A and the Q-tip ends there, and even though it's not my own dating disaster, it certainly was a date worth documenting.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Three men walked into a restaurant...
an Israeli, and orthodox Jew, and a Catholic. Sounds like a set up for a joke, but really it was just my night last night.
So, it's been a while and I did see the Israeli Thursday night, which I failed to write about, mainly because there is absolutely nothing to say. He got back from San Francisco on Weds, and called me to see if I was home. I had decided to stay at my parents for one more night, and came back to Brooklyn on Thursday. He went on a hike on Thursday, and originally told me he was too tired for me to come over. He changed his mind around 10, and as usual, I went over. We made out, watched a movie and went to bed. I mentioned that on Saturday I was going to see the Vagina Monologues in Jersey, and the Israeli really wanted to come with. I was a little surprised because it just didn't seem like his thing, and I asked him multiple times if he was absolutely sure he wanted to come. He insisted that he did. So, I reserved an extra ticket, but with some definite reservation. I didn't really want him to come. I have only had bad experiences with the Israeli in public, and I didn't really think I want to introduce him to 2 of my best friends. I was really worried what they would think, especially because one of them (ahem.. Debbie...) has made it perfectly clear that she did not approve of my dating the Israeli.
Saturday was a bit of a blur in the morning/afternoon. I slept in, but woke up with an excruciating headache. After doing nothing for a few hours and feeling pretty bad because of the headache, I decided to take a nap. The Israeli called me during that time to see what time I was going to pick him up for the show, and if I had been feeling better or more awake, I may have asked him to come to my apartment and we'd drive from there, because that just made more sense. Afterward, I ended up going to the gym fairly late in the afternoon, and didn't get back to my apartment until almost 5:45. I should have been at the Israeli's to pick him up at 6:30 to make it to NJ on time. I didn't end up LEAVING my apartment until 6:45 (again, why it would have been beneficial to have him come here), and didn't get to the Israeli's until almost 7:30. The show started at 8. I was freaking out because it was a small theater, and I knew it would be terrible to walk in late because it's a theater in the round, so everyone can see if you walk in late and you're practically sitting on the stage. I was pretty snippy with the Israeli when I picked him up because I was stressed beyond belief, and sped the entire way down through Brooklyn to Jersey. We made it to the theater only 5 minutes late, and only missed the introduction to the show (sorry Deb!!). It was a really good show, and it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it was going to be, with the Israeli. I mean I doubt any of the guys I have dated have been subjected to an entire night of nothing but talking about vaginas, especially with one of my best friends. But the Israeli really did seem to enjoy it, and in the end, I'm really glad he came. After the show, I introduced him to my friend and her fiance, and a little bit later to Debbie and the guy she is dating.
I was so nervous about him meeting my friends. Because he was such a tool at the dinner party, or maybe it was just my irritation with him that night, but I was worried there was going to be a repeat of that with my friends. Surprisingly, he was not as bad. It was the first time we had been out in public that I didn't feel like I wanted to hide behind something every time he spoke. He got along very well with my friends, and the six of us went out to eat at the diner after the show. It was a nice setting, and everyone seemed to get along very well. (It was the first time any of us had met Debbie's guy as well.) It might have been a recipe for disaster, a secular Israeli, an orthodox Jew, and a Catholic. 3 very different guys, but somehow it worked better than any of our previous attempts at double/triple dating. It was all very easy and comfortable, and everyone seemed to get along very well. The Israeli was definitely playing the part of my boyfriend last night. It was so strange, but it worked. Debbie and the Israeli had a great debate (argument?) on why Debbie thinks Israeli men suck, and no one should date them. Very amusing.
On our way back to Brooklyn, our conversations and the ease I felt around the Israeli was probably the best since our very early dates before he told me he was going back early. He asked me why Debbie didn't like him before she had met him. Besides being Israeli, I explained as best I could about how she didn't like the whole 4 months "wanting to see the world" analogy, and the half-open relationship. He said, yeah, but we decided we weren't going to do that. We did? I don't remember deciding against that? I thought we were free to date other people as long as we weren't sleeping with anyone else. Apparently we never agreed on that and I guess the whole time I was dating the acupuncturist, I was cheating on the Israeli? I don't know about that, but I figure what he doesn't know won't hurt him. I didn't sleep with the acupuncturist, so I didn't break any rules that I thought we had set. Yikes.
We had a nice night back at his apartment, really reminiscent of the first and second night I spent there. He played me all this foreign music, and we just sat on his couch together until it was really late. It was really surprising, I had pretty much written all nights like those off once he told me he was leaving. We didn't really talk more about what we were, because I still don't think that has changed. After our nondescript evening on Thursday I had begun to question why I was still wasting my time with him anymore, last night reminded me of what had been there in the beginning. It makes me happy and sad, because detaching myself from the situation made me not care so much when I thought about him leaving, but it's nice to feel good when I am with him. His mom is coming to stay with him on the 26th, and his brother comes in the middle of May. He has mentioned many times that he wants me to meet them, but I'm not sure how I feel about that.
So, it's been a while and I did see the Israeli Thursday night, which I failed to write about, mainly because there is absolutely nothing to say. He got back from San Francisco on Weds, and called me to see if I was home. I had decided to stay at my parents for one more night, and came back to Brooklyn on Thursday. He went on a hike on Thursday, and originally told me he was too tired for me to come over. He changed his mind around 10, and as usual, I went over. We made out, watched a movie and went to bed. I mentioned that on Saturday I was going to see the Vagina Monologues in Jersey, and the Israeli really wanted to come with. I was a little surprised because it just didn't seem like his thing, and I asked him multiple times if he was absolutely sure he wanted to come. He insisted that he did. So, I reserved an extra ticket, but with some definite reservation. I didn't really want him to come. I have only had bad experiences with the Israeli in public, and I didn't really think I want to introduce him to 2 of my best friends. I was really worried what they would think, especially because one of them (ahem.. Debbie...) has made it perfectly clear that she did not approve of my dating the Israeli.
Saturday was a bit of a blur in the morning/afternoon. I slept in, but woke up with an excruciating headache. After doing nothing for a few hours and feeling pretty bad because of the headache, I decided to take a nap. The Israeli called me during that time to see what time I was going to pick him up for the show, and if I had been feeling better or more awake, I may have asked him to come to my apartment and we'd drive from there, because that just made more sense. Afterward, I ended up going to the gym fairly late in the afternoon, and didn't get back to my apartment until almost 5:45. I should have been at the Israeli's to pick him up at 6:30 to make it to NJ on time. I didn't end up LEAVING my apartment until 6:45 (again, why it would have been beneficial to have him come here), and didn't get to the Israeli's until almost 7:30. The show started at 8. I was freaking out because it was a small theater, and I knew it would be terrible to walk in late because it's a theater in the round, so everyone can see if you walk in late and you're practically sitting on the stage. I was pretty snippy with the Israeli when I picked him up because I was stressed beyond belief, and sped the entire way down through Brooklyn to Jersey. We made it to the theater only 5 minutes late, and only missed the introduction to the show (sorry Deb!!). It was a really good show, and it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it was going to be, with the Israeli. I mean I doubt any of the guys I have dated have been subjected to an entire night of nothing but talking about vaginas, especially with one of my best friends. But the Israeli really did seem to enjoy it, and in the end, I'm really glad he came. After the show, I introduced him to my friend and her fiance, and a little bit later to Debbie and the guy she is dating.
I was so nervous about him meeting my friends. Because he was such a tool at the dinner party, or maybe it was just my irritation with him that night, but I was worried there was going to be a repeat of that with my friends. Surprisingly, he was not as bad. It was the first time we had been out in public that I didn't feel like I wanted to hide behind something every time he spoke. He got along very well with my friends, and the six of us went out to eat at the diner after the show. It was a nice setting, and everyone seemed to get along very well. (It was the first time any of us had met Debbie's guy as well.) It might have been a recipe for disaster, a secular Israeli, an orthodox Jew, and a Catholic. 3 very different guys, but somehow it worked better than any of our previous attempts at double/triple dating. It was all very easy and comfortable, and everyone seemed to get along very well. The Israeli was definitely playing the part of my boyfriend last night. It was so strange, but it worked. Debbie and the Israeli had a great debate (argument?) on why Debbie thinks Israeli men suck, and no one should date them. Very amusing.
On our way back to Brooklyn, our conversations and the ease I felt around the Israeli was probably the best since our very early dates before he told me he was going back early. He asked me why Debbie didn't like him before she had met him. Besides being Israeli, I explained as best I could about how she didn't like the whole 4 months "wanting to see the world" analogy, and the half-open relationship. He said, yeah, but we decided we weren't going to do that. We did? I don't remember deciding against that? I thought we were free to date other people as long as we weren't sleeping with anyone else. Apparently we never agreed on that and I guess the whole time I was dating the acupuncturist, I was cheating on the Israeli? I don't know about that, but I figure what he doesn't know won't hurt him. I didn't sleep with the acupuncturist, so I didn't break any rules that I thought we had set. Yikes.
We had a nice night back at his apartment, really reminiscent of the first and second night I spent there. He played me all this foreign music, and we just sat on his couch together until it was really late. It was really surprising, I had pretty much written all nights like those off once he told me he was leaving. We didn't really talk more about what we were, because I still don't think that has changed. After our nondescript evening on Thursday I had begun to question why I was still wasting my time with him anymore, last night reminded me of what had been there in the beginning. It makes me happy and sad, because detaching myself from the situation made me not care so much when I thought about him leaving, but it's nice to feel good when I am with him. His mom is coming to stay with him on the 26th, and his brother comes in the middle of May. He has mentioned many times that he wants me to meet them, but I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Monday, April 02, 2007
The Other Team
In honor of it being April Fool's Day and all, I thought I'd give it a try and see what it's like to play for the other team. Sort of.
I went to brunch this afternoon with my uncle and his wife (I have a hard time referring to her as my aunt, even though she has been for 14 years, she's not really the aunt type... and if you know her, you understand - but for the sake of the post, that is what she will be - my aunt.) at a very cool bar in Philly with a great Sunday brunch. The only catch? It's a lesbian bar. I had never been to a lesbian bar before (on edit - that's not true - the bar I went to on my Not For Tourists date with T was a lesbian bar - although I didn't know that at the time and it was a mixed crowd that night due to the event), so I didn't really know what to expect.
It was surprisingly a pretty mixed crowd at first, a lot of lesbians - yes, everyone who worked there was - but a lot of men, couples (mixed - men and men, women and women, men and women), groups of friends (sexual orientation unknown), and my uncle, aunt, and myself. We sat at the bar, and talked to the bartender, who my aunt and uncle have known for quite some time. Apparently there is a topless picture of her on their fridge, or something like that, I don't think I ever noticed it and if I did, it did not leave a very lasting impression on me. Oh well. Anyway, she was funny in a sassy bartender type of way. She looked like any hipster you'd see in Brooklyn, as did most of the girls who worked there. There is the same kind of drama in lesbian couples as there are in straight couples. The bartender is dating the owner of the bar, all the girls who worked there seemed to have girlfriends, and the bartender had no problem dishing all of their secrets to me, my aunt, and my uncle. There was one girl who was working there, who kept watching me, and I have to say... if I were interested in girls that way... I'd probably have been very interested in her. It's a shame I'm not, maybe I would have had something more interesting to post here. All in all, we just exchanged a few glances across the bar, I caught her looking at me more times than I would consider normal (although there weren't THAT many people in the bar to look at anyway...), and it was kind of exciting for an hour or so. We stayed at the bar for a few hours, the brunch was delicious. And the next time I am home, I will definitely go back.
It was a strange feeling, being excited that a girl was checking me out. I am pretty secure in my own sexuality, and I know that I definitely like men, but for the few hours while I was there, I have to admit there were some moments that a few thoughts ran through my head and I thought - why the hell not? Unfortunately, when it comes down to it.... I'm just not attracted to women, no matter how attractive of a woman she was.
I went to brunch this afternoon with my uncle and his wife (I have a hard time referring to her as my aunt, even though she has been for 14 years, she's not really the aunt type... and if you know her, you understand - but for the sake of the post, that is what she will be - my aunt.) at a very cool bar in Philly with a great Sunday brunch. The only catch? It's a lesbian bar. I had never been to a lesbian bar before (on edit - that's not true - the bar I went to on my Not For Tourists date with T was a lesbian bar - although I didn't know that at the time and it was a mixed crowd that night due to the event), so I didn't really know what to expect.
It was surprisingly a pretty mixed crowd at first, a lot of lesbians - yes, everyone who worked there was - but a lot of men, couples (mixed - men and men, women and women, men and women), groups of friends (sexual orientation unknown), and my uncle, aunt, and myself. We sat at the bar, and talked to the bartender, who my aunt and uncle have known for quite some time. Apparently there is a topless picture of her on their fridge, or something like that, I don't think I ever noticed it and if I did, it did not leave a very lasting impression on me. Oh well. Anyway, she was funny in a sassy bartender type of way. She looked like any hipster you'd see in Brooklyn, as did most of the girls who worked there. There is the same kind of drama in lesbian couples as there are in straight couples. The bartender is dating the owner of the bar, all the girls who worked there seemed to have girlfriends, and the bartender had no problem dishing all of their secrets to me, my aunt, and my uncle. There was one girl who was working there, who kept watching me, and I have to say... if I were interested in girls that way... I'd probably have been very interested in her. It's a shame I'm not, maybe I would have had something more interesting to post here. All in all, we just exchanged a few glances across the bar, I caught her looking at me more times than I would consider normal (although there weren't THAT many people in the bar to look at anyway...), and it was kind of exciting for an hour or so. We stayed at the bar for a few hours, the brunch was delicious. And the next time I am home, I will definitely go back.
It was a strange feeling, being excited that a girl was checking me out. I am pretty secure in my own sexuality, and I know that I definitely like men, but for the few hours while I was there, I have to admit there were some moments that a few thoughts ran through my head and I thought - why the hell not? Unfortunately, when it comes down to it.... I'm just not attracted to women, no matter how attractive of a woman she was.
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