My roommate says I'm not trying to date this summer. I'm not putting myself out there. And possibly waiting around for 3 days with the Israeli. She's right. I must try harder.
It's been nearly 2 months since a blog about the Israeli, but he has not been off the map entirely. I would've hoped in 2 months time, I would feel differently than I did on the day that he left... but the feelings are still rather strong, and confusing. The Israeli is currently in Peru... and I'm jealous of that in itself. The bad thing about technology and things like myspace and facebook, is that while they allow you to keep up on friends' lives and see what's going on... It can hurt like hell if you find out that way that a guy you may or may not still have feelings for is with someone else.
I thought this was the case a few weeks ago. I was on facebook, and decided to look at the Israeli's page. He had a message on his wall from some girl, and this already irritated me. I of course couldn't see anything on her page, but I tried nonetheless. We had very little contact, the Israeli and I, when he was on the west coast, before he left for Peru. Maybe 2 phone calls, and some text messages and that's it. When he got to Peru, he emailed me and we talking online for a little bit, but there were minimal conversations happening. In my mind, this was over, and I should probably be trying harder to get over him. About a week ago, I saw that the Israeli had changed his relationship status on Facebook to a relationship but it just says "it's complicated" instead of saying that he's in a relationship. Now in my mind, a million possibilities occurred to me. 1) He met someone down there. That surely would be complicated. 2) He got back together with his ex from Israel. I'm not sure why I thought this at all. He had not mentioned her at all, he does have pictures of her up in his profile, but as far as I know they haven't had much communication in the year that he's been here, and they were broken up a while before he came. But irrational minds think irrational things... that's just what mine thought. 3) He meant me. This was lowest on my realm of possibility, but I guess since we had been emailing a bit more in the week leading up to it, I thought there was a chance. I thought the first two were much more likely.
He sends me an email 2 days ago. I had asked him if when he came back to New York, if he was planning on staying here. In his email (which was subjected: Yes!!! - ha), he replied "if by here, you mean with you... " and goes on to tell me that he does want to stay with me when he comes to New York, and that he misses me so much. He also feels the need to tell me that he hasn't slept with anyone since he's been traveling - and he doesn't plan to. He says this is an inner-peace journey for himself, and he doesn't want to sleep with anyone except me apparently, before he goes back to Israel. Of course, when I read this I am relieved and glad to hear that he hasn't been with anyone else while he's been away. But a part of me is angry, not at him, but at myself, because I automatically then think - well of course, I won't sleep with anyone either until he gets back. And thus, closing myself off to a lot of possibility for the summer. I have a month until he comes back, and a lot can happen in a month's time. I have about 5 guys that I've been emailing trying to plan dates with for when I get back from Vegas... and I found myself wondering, should I not go out with them? Of course not, and I am going to try to get together with these guys, but... come August 22nd, I have other plans... So these dates will have to be dates just for dating sake. Which is fine, that's what most of my dates were last summer, I just don't feel like my heart is really in it anymore. The same day he sent me the email, he changed his relationship status. He's no longer in a "complicated relationship" and now there is no status for his relationship. He's not single, not taken, not complicated. I know I shouldn't base a feature on facebook to determine my feelings, but where there is so little contact to begin with, you take what you can get. And whatever this relationship is, one thing is for sure... it is complicated.
In other news, my laptop died the other night. My hard drive literally ate itself, or something equally as unpleasant. I had a final for grad school due the next day at midnight - all my work was on that computer. Remember Mr. Persistent? Well, he's still being persistent, but... did I also mention that he's also getting his PhD in computer science? Boring to hear about on a date, but a life saver when you need computer help. He literally saved me from having a nervous breakdown. Mr. P stayed up until 2am trying to help me fix my computer (which did not happen), and at the very least recover the information that I needed for my assignment. I promised I'd take him to dinner when I got back. So, while I don't look at that as a date... I'm sure he will.
I'm off to Vegas for a week, and shall return to the city at the end of July. Maybe there will be some fun stories to tell from Sin City, but as I'm going with my parents and my very engaged best friend... it might not be likely.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Safety
Last night brought me back to days of college, where stupidity ran rampant, and there was no consequence for behavior that clearly should have some repercussions.
Last night I didn't not go on a date, but it was so strange, I felt it deserved writing about. I went out with a friend last night to celebrate her getting a new job (away from the hell we both taught in for the past two years!). It was a long crazy night, including a lot of traveling and subsequent drinking. We started out in Brooklyn, not too far from my apartment, to see a band of my friend's sister's friend play. It was a good way to start the evening off, but we did not stay long.
We went to LES to go to a party of my friend's friend's ex-coworker (yes, this is how the night went, everyone was connected through someone else...), and there was a 10 dollar cover to sit on the roof, which we payed, and over-priced drinks. I told her that this was her payback for the jdate party, because this party - while the people weren't as strange - sucked just as bad. We got stuck talking to the world's most boring guy, and I couldn't even begin to tell you what we talked about. I know he asked us kind of in an accusatory manner as to what we did all summer, I stopped paying attention not long after that. Although, I'm sure I made an awesome impression as well when I spilled a good portion of my beer on him. I wasn't too concerned, he needed a reason to go home and change. He and his friend were wearing matching (although different colors) Izod polo shirts. It was so weird.
We didn't stay too long at the party, long enough for one drink, me to spill it on someone, and to have a boring conversation that felt like an eternity. My friend's other friends from Israel were coming to the LES for drinks, and we decided to meet up with them. We left the boring, crowded bar we were at and proceeded deeper into the LES. We arrived at the bar about 20 minutes before her friends arrived. We tried sitting outside, but the bar had to close their outdoor garden at 1am, due to noise and neighbors. So we got pushed back inside, and we were heading to sit at a table, but a man who was behind us somehow got there first. There was room for 4 or 5 people to sit at the table, and he was just sitting there by himself. He saw us looking at the table, and invited us to come sit there. I'm sure he would've left if we asked him to, but at that point it was just me and my friend, so there was no need.
He strikes up a conversation with us, and I'm not really sure what he's saying because A) it's really loud in the bar - like too loud to hear anything and B) he had a heavy accent, which I think was Italian. He's talking to us, and offers to buy us a drink. We politely decline, but continue talking to him. After a while, he says that he's going to buy us drinks, so what do we want. At that point we let him buy us drinks. He comes back with not just the drinks, but with 3 cute guys in tow. At this moment, of course, my friend's friends show up, so there is a flurry of activity. The old man is trying to introduce us to the guys he brought over for us to talk to, and my friend is introducing me to her friends (also both guys) who just showed up, and all of the suddenly our table feels crowded. I thought that the man would leave once our friends showed up. But he didn't. He was talking to another friend for a little bit, and one of the guys he brought over slid right into his seat next to me, and struck up a conversation. One of his other friends sat next to my friend and talked to her for a bit. The guy I was talking to was young, though I couldn't tell how young, early 20s, maybe 24 at the oldest. He was there with his two friends from high school, and he was friends with the old guy because apparently the old guy was his jazz mentor. The young guy excused himself for a moment, and then the old guy came back and sat in his seat. I was interested to hear more about his jazz, but it was so hard to hear him, I felt rude asking him to keep repeating himself. I should have talked to my friend and her friends, but they were having a conversation in Hebrew, and as I could barely understand the English that was being spoken around, Hebrew wasn't going to do me any good. The young guy came back, and instead of taking his seat back from the old guy, he sat in between us, forcing me to move over to a seat closer to my friend. Fine by me, I needed some space between me and the old guy, he was starting to touch my hand when he talked to me, and it was beginning to creep me out.
The young guy invited my friends and me to go to an after-hours dance party, at some club down the road. I asked my friend if she wanted to go, and she said she would go if I wanted to. At that point, the young guy was cute and very flirty with me, so of course I wanted to go. I told them we'd go, but figured since it was only 2am and the bar hadn't closed yet, we wouldn't be leaving any time soon. My friend's friends did NOT like these guys. And rightfully so, they were strange guys, and the old guy was definitely creepy. When the young guy went to go talk to his friends, the old guy moved into the seat next to me again, and he kept touching me - either on my hand or my back, and he was undeniably looking down my shirt when he thought I wasn't looking or didn't notice. I kept pulling it up, but to no avail, he was not deterred.
When the time came for us to go to the after party dance club, I was not sure that my friend really wanted to go, so I wasn't going to force her. Her friends were adamant that we did not go with these guys, and we could find a place to go dancing just the four of us. They didn't like that they wouldn't give us the address of the place we were going, so we could just meet them there. The young guy I was talking to was insisting that we go with him. He was starting to get creepy. We were indecisive for a long time, and the young guy and the old guy were finally like, we're going, see you later. So they left the bar, and we decided we'd go outside to figure out what we'd do next and if we'd try to find a place to go dancing. As we were getting up to leave, young guy comes back in the bar, and sees us leaving, and comes over to me. He tries to hold my hand, which I quickly pull back from him. We stand outside the bar with the young guy and one his friends. Young guy tries to get my friend and I to get into the old guy's car. My friend's friend nearly looses his cool at the thought of that, there is no way in hell he was going to let us get into that car with a creepy old man and 3 guys we don't know. The young guy agrees that we can go to a bar that's closer so that we don't have to drive there, but when we say that we're going to walk over, he says no. At this point, it's just ridiculous. We decide to go to a closer bar, and if they want to join us they can drive over there, but we're not getting in the car. friend agrees with us that we should not get into their car, and that he'll walk over to the bar with us.
The young guy's friend agrees with us that we should not get into this strange guy's car, and he will walk over with us. He goes over to find out where the exact location of the bar is, and the next thing we know, the car has driven off, three young and one creepy old guy in tow.
We all just looked at each other and cracked up. In hindsight, going with those guys would have been incredibly stupid. The rest of our night was non-descript but fun. We were turned away from a club because one of the guys was wearing sandals, and we wandered around the east village to no avail. We ended up getting a slice of pizza and the guys went home. My friend and I sat on a bench outside the pizza place for a while and decided that we should have gone with the other guys. It would've been fun, although getting into their car would've been incredibly creepy. I guess we may have saved ourselves from a brush with disaster, but we'll never know.
Last night I didn't not go on a date, but it was so strange, I felt it deserved writing about. I went out with a friend last night to celebrate her getting a new job (away from the hell we both taught in for the past two years!). It was a long crazy night, including a lot of traveling and subsequent drinking. We started out in Brooklyn, not too far from my apartment, to see a band of my friend's sister's friend play. It was a good way to start the evening off, but we did not stay long.
We went to LES to go to a party of my friend's friend's ex-coworker (yes, this is how the night went, everyone was connected through someone else...), and there was a 10 dollar cover to sit on the roof, which we payed, and over-priced drinks. I told her that this was her payback for the jdate party, because this party - while the people weren't as strange - sucked just as bad. We got stuck talking to the world's most boring guy, and I couldn't even begin to tell you what we talked about. I know he asked us kind of in an accusatory manner as to what we did all summer, I stopped paying attention not long after that. Although, I'm sure I made an awesome impression as well when I spilled a good portion of my beer on him. I wasn't too concerned, he needed a reason to go home and change. He and his friend were wearing matching (although different colors) Izod polo shirts. It was so weird.
We didn't stay too long at the party, long enough for one drink, me to spill it on someone, and to have a boring conversation that felt like an eternity. My friend's other friends from Israel were coming to the LES for drinks, and we decided to meet up with them. We left the boring, crowded bar we were at and proceeded deeper into the LES. We arrived at the bar about 20 minutes before her friends arrived. We tried sitting outside, but the bar had to close their outdoor garden at 1am, due to noise and neighbors. So we got pushed back inside, and we were heading to sit at a table, but a man who was behind us somehow got there first. There was room for 4 or 5 people to sit at the table, and he was just sitting there by himself. He saw us looking at the table, and invited us to come sit there. I'm sure he would've left if we asked him to, but at that point it was just me and my friend, so there was no need.
He strikes up a conversation with us, and I'm not really sure what he's saying because A) it's really loud in the bar - like too loud to hear anything and B) he had a heavy accent, which I think was Italian. He's talking to us, and offers to buy us a drink. We politely decline, but continue talking to him. After a while, he says that he's going to buy us drinks, so what do we want. At that point we let him buy us drinks. He comes back with not just the drinks, but with 3 cute guys in tow. At this moment, of course, my friend's friends show up, so there is a flurry of activity. The old man is trying to introduce us to the guys he brought over for us to talk to, and my friend is introducing me to her friends (also both guys) who just showed up, and all of the suddenly our table feels crowded. I thought that the man would leave once our friends showed up. But he didn't. He was talking to another friend for a little bit, and one of the guys he brought over slid right into his seat next to me, and struck up a conversation. One of his other friends sat next to my friend and talked to her for a bit. The guy I was talking to was young, though I couldn't tell how young, early 20s, maybe 24 at the oldest. He was there with his two friends from high school, and he was friends with the old guy because apparently the old guy was his jazz mentor. The young guy excused himself for a moment, and then the old guy came back and sat in his seat. I was interested to hear more about his jazz, but it was so hard to hear him, I felt rude asking him to keep repeating himself. I should have talked to my friend and her friends, but they were having a conversation in Hebrew, and as I could barely understand the English that was being spoken around, Hebrew wasn't going to do me any good. The young guy came back, and instead of taking his seat back from the old guy, he sat in between us, forcing me to move over to a seat closer to my friend. Fine by me, I needed some space between me and the old guy, he was starting to touch my hand when he talked to me, and it was beginning to creep me out.
The young guy invited my friends and me to go to an after-hours dance party, at some club down the road. I asked my friend if she wanted to go, and she said she would go if I wanted to. At that point, the young guy was cute and very flirty with me, so of course I wanted to go. I told them we'd go, but figured since it was only 2am and the bar hadn't closed yet, we wouldn't be leaving any time soon. My friend's friends did NOT like these guys. And rightfully so, they were strange guys, and the old guy was definitely creepy. When the young guy went to go talk to his friends, the old guy moved into the seat next to me again, and he kept touching me - either on my hand or my back, and he was undeniably looking down my shirt when he thought I wasn't looking or didn't notice. I kept pulling it up, but to no avail, he was not deterred.
When the time came for us to go to the after party dance club, I was not sure that my friend really wanted to go, so I wasn't going to force her. Her friends were adamant that we did not go with these guys, and we could find a place to go dancing just the four of us. They didn't like that they wouldn't give us the address of the place we were going, so we could just meet them there. The young guy I was talking to was insisting that we go with him. He was starting to get creepy. We were indecisive for a long time, and the young guy and the old guy were finally like, we're going, see you later. So they left the bar, and we decided we'd go outside to figure out what we'd do next and if we'd try to find a place to go dancing. As we were getting up to leave, young guy comes back in the bar, and sees us leaving, and comes over to me. He tries to hold my hand, which I quickly pull back from him. We stand outside the bar with the young guy and one his friends. Young guy tries to get my friend and I to get into the old guy's car. My friend's friend nearly looses his cool at the thought of that, there is no way in hell he was going to let us get into that car with a creepy old man and 3 guys we don't know. The young guy agrees that we can go to a bar that's closer so that we don't have to drive there, but when we say that we're going to walk over, he says no. At this point, it's just ridiculous. We decide to go to a closer bar, and if they want to join us they can drive over there, but we're not getting in the car. friend agrees with us that we should not get into their car, and that he'll walk over to the bar with us.
The young guy's friend agrees with us that we should not get into this strange guy's car, and he will walk over with us. He goes over to find out where the exact location of the bar is, and the next thing we know, the car has driven off, three young and one creepy old guy in tow.
We all just looked at each other and cracked up. In hindsight, going with those guys would have been incredibly stupid. The rest of our night was non-descript but fun. We were turned away from a club because one of the guys was wearing sandals, and we wandered around the east village to no avail. We ended up getting a slice of pizza and the guys went home. My friend and I sat on a bench outside the pizza place for a while and decided that we should have gone with the other guys. It would've been fun, although getting into their car would've been incredibly creepy. I guess we may have saved ourselves from a brush with disaster, but we'll never know.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Signs.
In the olden days (what really are the olden days?) and mostly in folklore, people believed that omens were sent through objects, animals, and even insects. I'm not a superstitious person, but I think someone might be trying to send me a message... and it comes in the form of a cockroach.
In my 2+ years living in my apartment, I have seen exactly 2 cockroaches in this place. One was the night I had my first double header, and the second was tonight. And tonight I just so happened to have my FIRST double header of the summer. Now I know, it's the summer, I live in the city, and I probably should have done those dishes in the sink a few days ago... but what kind of sign is it that when ONLY on nights that I go out with more than one guy in one night, cockroaches appear in my apartment?
How these dates came about... well, today was an absolutely gorgeous day in the city. Breezy, in the 70s, low 80s, and MUCH too beautiful to be stuck indoors doing grad school work, which is exactly what I had planned. I decided I needed to go out, and what better way to go out than on a date?? So I posted a quick ad on craigslist, and the responses came pouring in (ok, maybe not pouring but there were about 30 or so in the first half an hour...) So, I chose three to respond to of the initial response, and of the three I responded to, 2 responded to my email. So, I had two dates in the works, but I was sure that one of them was going to bail on the actual meeting part. Not everyone is ok with meeting someone the same day you start talking to them. So, I kept it up with both.. and neither bailed. Suddenly I had two dates for drinks, very close to each other. The first guy was coming from Brooklyn, so I knew he'd get here first. The other was coming all the way from central jersey (where he works...) so, I figured with traffic, by the time he got here, I'd be finishing drinks with date #1, and ready for #2.
Date #1 took the train over from Williamsburg, and the G was running a bit slower than usual today (which is really bad, because the G sucks to begin with...), and I had promised him (as a way to get him to come to my neighborhood, to save me time between dates!) that if the G took more than 5 minutes to come, the first drink was on me. It clearly took a while, and I wanted to be true to my word... so I did indeed buy the drinks. Anyway, getting ahead of myself. We met up at the subway station, and walked half a block over to a trendy Peruvian restaurant for drinks. Oh, did I mention that he was cute? Really really cute. Not so much MY type of cute, but very boyishly good looking. We sat out in the back patio, and I had a mojito and he had a Peruvian beer. I felt really cool that I could suggest what kind of Peruvian beer was good, because he asked if I knew (and I do!) but the place didn't have any... bummer. We talked for a good hour or so, and I couldn't tell if he was interested or not. Regardless, my phone rang not too long into the date. My second date had somehow managed to come through Staten Island and Brooklyn during rush hour on the ONE day where there is no traffic. Sure enough, if I have to be somewhere in Brooklyn and I'm driving through Staten Island and Brooklyn, there will be an accident and loads of traffic, but no, when I WANT there to be traffic, to buy me a little time, there is none. I politely excused myself from my current date, and answered my phone to find that my second date was merely seconds away from parking the car and getting to where I was supposed to meet him. I told him I'd be right there, and then continued to talk and finish my drink with my first date.
I felt REALLY bad, for both of the guys at that point. Date #1 I was cutting really short because I told him that a friend had just called me unexpectedly and was in from out of town, and I felt like I should go see him. He was gracious enough (hell, I paid for his drink, why should he care?), but again, I don't think he's interested, and if anything maybe we'll hang out again as friends. Date #2 I felt badly for because he must have been waiting for me for a good 20 minutes. Yeah, that makes me later than I think is acceptable - and I have been known to be very late before.
I hug Date #1 goodbye, and point him in the direction of his train, and call Date #2 before I'm even across the street to assure him that I am in fact on my way. So, I show up for my second date, and he too is cute, but in a more non-conventional way. He's shorter than me for one (but he did tell me that prior to meeting him), and just smaller in stature - basically smaller than me, which usually makes me uncomfortable, but I wasn't. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek as soon as I showed up, and didn't say a word about how long I had kept him waiting. We walked around my neighborhood to find a good bar, and ended up pretty close to where I was for date 1, but at a wine bar just down the block. We sat and had a glass of wine (and he didn't criticize my choice of wine!), and had about 2 hours of good conversation. Conversationally, he was very uninhibited, one of the first things he said to me when we sat down was that I was very pretty. I'm not used to receiving compliments like that on a first date, but I'll take it. The conversation was good and very easy, and I think we both felt very comfortable around each other. The conversation turned first-date inappropriate at some point when the topic of past partners came up, and because it was where the conversation was leading.... he asked me how many guys I'd been with - which is a topic I usually avoid because I'm prone to lie. Not because my number is high, I just never really kept track. I told him the truth... and I'm not sure why. I felt really comfortable with him - and I'm certain he felt the same. He's definitely not the type of guy I am typically attracted to, but none the less, I was attracted. He's older than I would like (32), shorter than I would like, smaller than I would like... but all that aside - I still liked him.
We parted ways after we finished our wine, and I gave him directions on how to get back to the tunnel (did I mention he lives in Jersey - something else I don't like!), and we separated with a hug and a quick kiss on the lips (but no more romantic than the initial kiss on the cheek). He called me before he even was out of Brooklyn... I thought at first he must be lost, but no, he was just waiting at the light, and wanted to tell me that he had a good time. He asked if I was home yet, but I had stopped at the diner to pick up a salad for dinner (drinking + dating + no food = NO GOOD). His immediate response was, "I wish you had told me you were hungry, I thought you had already eaten, I would have taken you to dinner!" At which point, I had to assure him that I wasn't in fact hungry on the date, but did need to eat dinner or else would feel rather ill tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I will hear from him again, in fact I'd be pretty surprised if I did not.
The cockroach may be a omen of things to come... but looking at my dating record AFTER the cockroach last summer, it seemed to help things along. Maybe it's not so bad after all.
In my 2+ years living in my apartment, I have seen exactly 2 cockroaches in this place. One was the night I had my first double header, and the second was tonight. And tonight I just so happened to have my FIRST double header of the summer. Now I know, it's the summer, I live in the city, and I probably should have done those dishes in the sink a few days ago... but what kind of sign is it that when ONLY on nights that I go out with more than one guy in one night, cockroaches appear in my apartment?
How these dates came about... well, today was an absolutely gorgeous day in the city. Breezy, in the 70s, low 80s, and MUCH too beautiful to be stuck indoors doing grad school work, which is exactly what I had planned. I decided I needed to go out, and what better way to go out than on a date?? So I posted a quick ad on craigslist, and the responses came pouring in (ok, maybe not pouring but there were about 30 or so in the first half an hour...) So, I chose three to respond to of the initial response, and of the three I responded to, 2 responded to my email. So, I had two dates in the works, but I was sure that one of them was going to bail on the actual meeting part. Not everyone is ok with meeting someone the same day you start talking to them. So, I kept it up with both.. and neither bailed. Suddenly I had two dates for drinks, very close to each other. The first guy was coming from Brooklyn, so I knew he'd get here first. The other was coming all the way from central jersey (where he works...) so, I figured with traffic, by the time he got here, I'd be finishing drinks with date #1, and ready for #2.
Date #1 took the train over from Williamsburg, and the G was running a bit slower than usual today (which is really bad, because the G sucks to begin with...), and I had promised him (as a way to get him to come to my neighborhood, to save me time between dates!) that if the G took more than 5 minutes to come, the first drink was on me. It clearly took a while, and I wanted to be true to my word... so I did indeed buy the drinks. Anyway, getting ahead of myself. We met up at the subway station, and walked half a block over to a trendy Peruvian restaurant for drinks. Oh, did I mention that he was cute? Really really cute. Not so much MY type of cute, but very boyishly good looking. We sat out in the back patio, and I had a mojito and he had a Peruvian beer. I felt really cool that I could suggest what kind of Peruvian beer was good, because he asked if I knew (and I do!) but the place didn't have any... bummer. We talked for a good hour or so, and I couldn't tell if he was interested or not. Regardless, my phone rang not too long into the date. My second date had somehow managed to come through Staten Island and Brooklyn during rush hour on the ONE day where there is no traffic. Sure enough, if I have to be somewhere in Brooklyn and I'm driving through Staten Island and Brooklyn, there will be an accident and loads of traffic, but no, when I WANT there to be traffic, to buy me a little time, there is none. I politely excused myself from my current date, and answered my phone to find that my second date was merely seconds away from parking the car and getting to where I was supposed to meet him. I told him I'd be right there, and then continued to talk and finish my drink with my first date.
I felt REALLY bad, for both of the guys at that point. Date #1 I was cutting really short because I told him that a friend had just called me unexpectedly and was in from out of town, and I felt like I should go see him. He was gracious enough (hell, I paid for his drink, why should he care?), but again, I don't think he's interested, and if anything maybe we'll hang out again as friends. Date #2 I felt badly for because he must have been waiting for me for a good 20 minutes. Yeah, that makes me later than I think is acceptable - and I have been known to be very late before.
I hug Date #1 goodbye, and point him in the direction of his train, and call Date #2 before I'm even across the street to assure him that I am in fact on my way. So, I show up for my second date, and he too is cute, but in a more non-conventional way. He's shorter than me for one (but he did tell me that prior to meeting him), and just smaller in stature - basically smaller than me, which usually makes me uncomfortable, but I wasn't. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek as soon as I showed up, and didn't say a word about how long I had kept him waiting. We walked around my neighborhood to find a good bar, and ended up pretty close to where I was for date 1, but at a wine bar just down the block. We sat and had a glass of wine (and he didn't criticize my choice of wine!), and had about 2 hours of good conversation. Conversationally, he was very uninhibited, one of the first things he said to me when we sat down was that I was very pretty. I'm not used to receiving compliments like that on a first date, but I'll take it. The conversation was good and very easy, and I think we both felt very comfortable around each other. The conversation turned first-date inappropriate at some point when the topic of past partners came up, and because it was where the conversation was leading.... he asked me how many guys I'd been with - which is a topic I usually avoid because I'm prone to lie. Not because my number is high, I just never really kept track. I told him the truth... and I'm not sure why. I felt really comfortable with him - and I'm certain he felt the same. He's definitely not the type of guy I am typically attracted to, but none the less, I was attracted. He's older than I would like (32), shorter than I would like, smaller than I would like... but all that aside - I still liked him.
We parted ways after we finished our wine, and I gave him directions on how to get back to the tunnel (did I mention he lives in Jersey - something else I don't like!), and we separated with a hug and a quick kiss on the lips (but no more romantic than the initial kiss on the cheek). He called me before he even was out of Brooklyn... I thought at first he must be lost, but no, he was just waiting at the light, and wanted to tell me that he had a good time. He asked if I was home yet, but I had stopped at the diner to pick up a salad for dinner (drinking + dating + no food = NO GOOD). His immediate response was, "I wish you had told me you were hungry, I thought you had already eaten, I would have taken you to dinner!" At which point, I had to assure him that I wasn't in fact hungry on the date, but did need to eat dinner or else would feel rather ill tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I will hear from him again, in fact I'd be pretty surprised if I did not.
The cockroach may be a omen of things to come... but looking at my dating record AFTER the cockroach last summer, it seemed to help things along. Maybe it's not so bad after all.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
2 for 1
So I'm behind in life in general. Behind in school work, behind in catching up with friends, and in turn, behind on these blog posts.
I have 2 dates to blog about, but the first was so short, it's hardly worth even writing about.
Sunday, June 24th
I had a few brief exchanges and one phone call with this guy prior to the Sunday brunch date. He was Jewish and from Argentina, and on paper - really appealing. He's lived in America for 13 years, so I didn't really have to worry about another situation like the Israeli (which is another story all together!), and I was looking forward to meeting him.
We decided to meet up Sunday morning for a brunch/wine date. This worked well for me since we were meeting on the Upper West Side, and I had to be at my friend's picnic in Central Park at 2, so there was an out for me if I needed it after 2 hours.
We met up at 12:30 instead of noon because he had texted me asking if I could meet up with him later, which was fine for me, because as usual, I was running late. The subway ride up to the date was by far the best part of the date to mention. There was a crazy guy in the car going up and down the car, preaching about God and saying that he was a true Jew (note: he was black, I've known black jews before, but I don't think he was like them...) and everyone else is going to hell - basically. There was a Hasidic jew in the car as well, who of course, couldn't keep his mouth shut, and had to argue back with the crazy guy. I know very well that the best tactic with crazy people on the subway is to ignore them, regardless if you agree or disagree with them. You'll never be able to reason sensibly with them, so no point in getting worked up. Apparently, the Hasidic jew does not believe this either (and maybe making him equally as crazy) and they were fighting, back and forth about who was a real jew. Awesome. The best part was the cute guy sitting across from me, that I got to smile and roll my eyes at due to the situation at hand.
Back to the date - I leave the subway, and walk over to the wine bar. It was a beautiful day, and it was a nice place to sit and have a glass of wine. I got a glass of rosé wine, which I thought was a nice summer brunch option, and my date immediately criticizes my choice in wine. "I don't like rosés," he says. As if I would care. "That's a shame," I replied, "they are a good alternative to a heavy red when the weather is so warm. And they're not as light as a white." Hmm.. that got him. The conversation from there got worse. I can't remember what we talked about, only that I was bored. After only an hour of sitting there, drinking my "less than acceptable" choice of wine, I was ready to go. I pulled the picnic excuse out earlier than I had planned at 1:30, and we parted ways.
He sent me an email - 2 days later - saying how I was intelligent and a great conversationalist, but he didn't feel any real connection. Really? I can't imagine why not.
Thursday, June 28th
Summer started officially for me June 27th around 4 when I left my school (in hell) for the very last time! School's out, and of course, what a better way to start off my summer than with a date?? This guy had contacted me through Jdate, and had been persistently trying to get me to go out with him for a few weeks. Because of my busy schedule, I had been postponing it as long as possible... that, and I didn't really think it would be that great of a date.
After spending a glorious day with one of my friends - at the beach, getting pedicures, and having a great dinner - I finally agreed to meet up with Mr. Persistent later on in the evening. It's summer, and I had nothing to do the next day.
We met up at a local bar near my apartment (the one I went to with my trainer the week before) for a quick drink (or so I thought...). At first impression, I thought I had been transported back to late nineties grunge from high school. He was wearing a plaid shirt unbuttoned over a white t-shirt, and khaki baggy pants, his hair was long and parted in the middle. Seriously, I didn't think people still dressed themselves this way. To make matters worse the bar was playing ONLY alternative rock from the nineties. It was some XM radio station, that he knew, and was telling me all about. I felt like I had been transported back to high school, 1996-style.
Drinks were fine, I had a wonderful summer wheat beer, and he had dinner and a drink. He talked a lot about technology, and computers, which I don't really need to talk about outside of doing work for my tech class. I tend to look around when I talk to people, especially if I'm bored, and if the person I'm talking to has a slight (and by slight, I mean really obvious) tic which is distracting when I'm trying to talk.... Mr. Persistent didn't like that, and kept asking me if he was that boring that I had to keep looking at other things. I wanted to say, yes!
Things got interesting when somehow the topic of high school came up. Turns out, Mr. Persistent went to Midwood HS. I do some quick math and figure out that he indeed would have graduated the same time as my ex from last year. So I casually ask him if he knows my ex - to which he replies - "hmm, skinny red headed kid?" Yup. That's him. The conversation proceeds about the ex and how I know him (interesting conversation), which leads to me telling Mr. Persistent about my ex's comedy routine and how I know for a fact that it's all a lie. See, my ex's premise for his comedy routine is that he's a 28 y/o virgin (appealing, no?), which I know, for a fact, is completely false. It may have been true up until he was 26 (as far as I know), but apparently he can't come up with any new material. So he's keeping up the front that he's a virgin, even though he's not. This probably was not a conversation that my date wanted to be having with me, but I did not care at that point. I had very little to say to him in the first place, I would take any common ground I could find.
Around midnight, the bar was closing, and we were suddenly the last people other than the people who worked there in the bar. I was hoping for a quick goodbye outside the bar, and a quick walk home, getting to bed not long after midnight. My date, being persistent, tells me that he'll walk me to my apartment. I don't want this guy to see where I live, so I tell him I'm actually going to my car to move it for alternate side parking. Undeterred, he tells me that he'll walk me to my car. So he does. We linger outside my car for a while, a lot longer than I would have liked. And I can't remember for the life of me what we actually talked about for that time. But I do know that by the time he left, I moved my car, and got back into my apartment it was nearing 2 am. I knew I'd hear from him, sooner rather than later, but he was going away for the weekend, I thought that would buy me some time. Wrong, as usual, he texts me the very next day as he's driving upstate and is stuck in traffic. His text message was strange, and it was something like, Driving upstate - stuck in traffic, so I'll talk to you later. I didn't respond because the text didn't warrant a response. That and I didn't want to encourage him anymore than spending 4 hours with him the night before already had. He's still been contacting me, a week later, and I've been responding with minimal communication, and I'm always quick to end the conversation. I have a limited time left in the city and it is not to be wasted on repeat bad dates.
I have 2 dates to blog about, but the first was so short, it's hardly worth even writing about.
Sunday, June 24th
I had a few brief exchanges and one phone call with this guy prior to the Sunday brunch date. He was Jewish and from Argentina, and on paper - really appealing. He's lived in America for 13 years, so I didn't really have to worry about another situation like the Israeli (which is another story all together!), and I was looking forward to meeting him.
We decided to meet up Sunday morning for a brunch/wine date. This worked well for me since we were meeting on the Upper West Side, and I had to be at my friend's picnic in Central Park at 2, so there was an out for me if I needed it after 2 hours.
We met up at 12:30 instead of noon because he had texted me asking if I could meet up with him later, which was fine for me, because as usual, I was running late. The subway ride up to the date was by far the best part of the date to mention. There was a crazy guy in the car going up and down the car, preaching about God and saying that he was a true Jew (note: he was black, I've known black jews before, but I don't think he was like them...) and everyone else is going to hell - basically. There was a Hasidic jew in the car as well, who of course, couldn't keep his mouth shut, and had to argue back with the crazy guy. I know very well that the best tactic with crazy people on the subway is to ignore them, regardless if you agree or disagree with them. You'll never be able to reason sensibly with them, so no point in getting worked up. Apparently, the Hasidic jew does not believe this either (and maybe making him equally as crazy) and they were fighting, back and forth about who was a real jew. Awesome. The best part was the cute guy sitting across from me, that I got to smile and roll my eyes at due to the situation at hand.
Back to the date - I leave the subway, and walk over to the wine bar. It was a beautiful day, and it was a nice place to sit and have a glass of wine. I got a glass of rosé wine, which I thought was a nice summer brunch option, and my date immediately criticizes my choice in wine. "I don't like rosés," he says. As if I would care. "That's a shame," I replied, "they are a good alternative to a heavy red when the weather is so warm. And they're not as light as a white." Hmm.. that got him. The conversation from there got worse. I can't remember what we talked about, only that I was bored. After only an hour of sitting there, drinking my "less than acceptable" choice of wine, I was ready to go. I pulled the picnic excuse out earlier than I had planned at 1:30, and we parted ways.
He sent me an email - 2 days later - saying how I was intelligent and a great conversationalist, but he didn't feel any real connection. Really? I can't imagine why not.
Thursday, June 28th
Summer started officially for me June 27th around 4 when I left my school (in hell) for the very last time! School's out, and of course, what a better way to start off my summer than with a date?? This guy had contacted me through Jdate, and had been persistently trying to get me to go out with him for a few weeks. Because of my busy schedule, I had been postponing it as long as possible... that, and I didn't really think it would be that great of a date.
After spending a glorious day with one of my friends - at the beach, getting pedicures, and having a great dinner - I finally agreed to meet up with Mr. Persistent later on in the evening. It's summer, and I had nothing to do the next day.
We met up at a local bar near my apartment (the one I went to with my trainer the week before) for a quick drink (or so I thought...). At first impression, I thought I had been transported back to late nineties grunge from high school. He was wearing a plaid shirt unbuttoned over a white t-shirt, and khaki baggy pants, his hair was long and parted in the middle. Seriously, I didn't think people still dressed themselves this way. To make matters worse the bar was playing ONLY alternative rock from the nineties. It was some XM radio station, that he knew, and was telling me all about. I felt like I had been transported back to high school, 1996-style.
Drinks were fine, I had a wonderful summer wheat beer, and he had dinner and a drink. He talked a lot about technology, and computers, which I don't really need to talk about outside of doing work for my tech class. I tend to look around when I talk to people, especially if I'm bored, and if the person I'm talking to has a slight (and by slight, I mean really obvious) tic which is distracting when I'm trying to talk.... Mr. Persistent didn't like that, and kept asking me if he was that boring that I had to keep looking at other things. I wanted to say, yes!
Things got interesting when somehow the topic of high school came up. Turns out, Mr. Persistent went to Midwood HS. I do some quick math and figure out that he indeed would have graduated the same time as my ex from last year. So I casually ask him if he knows my ex - to which he replies - "hmm, skinny red headed kid?" Yup. That's him. The conversation proceeds about the ex and how I know him (interesting conversation), which leads to me telling Mr. Persistent about my ex's comedy routine and how I know for a fact that it's all a lie. See, my ex's premise for his comedy routine is that he's a 28 y/o virgin (appealing, no?), which I know, for a fact, is completely false. It may have been true up until he was 26 (as far as I know), but apparently he can't come up with any new material. So he's keeping up the front that he's a virgin, even though he's not. This probably was not a conversation that my date wanted to be having with me, but I did not care at that point. I had very little to say to him in the first place, I would take any common ground I could find.
Around midnight, the bar was closing, and we were suddenly the last people other than the people who worked there in the bar. I was hoping for a quick goodbye outside the bar, and a quick walk home, getting to bed not long after midnight. My date, being persistent, tells me that he'll walk me to my apartment. I don't want this guy to see where I live, so I tell him I'm actually going to my car to move it for alternate side parking. Undeterred, he tells me that he'll walk me to my car. So he does. We linger outside my car for a while, a lot longer than I would have liked. And I can't remember for the life of me what we actually talked about for that time. But I do know that by the time he left, I moved my car, and got back into my apartment it was nearing 2 am. I knew I'd hear from him, sooner rather than later, but he was going away for the weekend, I thought that would buy me some time. Wrong, as usual, he texts me the very next day as he's driving upstate and is stuck in traffic. His text message was strange, and it was something like, Driving upstate - stuck in traffic, so I'll talk to you later. I didn't respond because the text didn't warrant a response. That and I didn't want to encourage him anymore than spending 4 hours with him the night before already had. He's still been contacting me, a week later, and I've been responding with minimal communication, and I'm always quick to end the conversation. I have a limited time left in the city and it is not to be wasted on repeat bad dates.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Party People
I don't know how to write this without offending my best friend (or rather - offending her friends), but I have to do this Jdate party justice. Last Saturday I had plans to go to a Jdate party with Debbie. Saturday turned into a busy day of dinner plans, then going to a friend's bar to pick up cupcakes for a picnic the next day, then dropping off the cupcakes at another friend's apartment (so I don't have to cart 21 cupcakes from the UES to the UWS back to Brooklyn and then back to the UWS - instead they just went from the UES to the UWS.) Anyway, when I brought the cupcakes over to my friends apartment to leave them there overnight, I somehow managed to talk her into coming to this Jdate party with me. I failed to mention to her that there would not be the coolest people there, nor anyone she might be interested in dating - because then why would she come with me? I also failed to tell her that there was a $5 cover to get in, and no drink specials... So I paid her cover - what a good friend I am. Ha.
We walk in, and she's already not happy. She turns to me and says, "You've got to be kidding me." I laugh and just push her through the crowd of middle aged Jewish online daters. I noticed that the guy I went on the Dim Sum date with last summer was definitely there, and I made a point to not recognize him.
My friend and I are standing at the bar waiting to get drinks, when a guy gets on the microphone to make an announcement about someone but clearly does not use a normal name, it's some kind of code name. I turn to my friend and say, "oh I forgot to tell you... they refer to everyone here by their jdate names." My friend's response can only be described as a look that was meant to say, "I'm going to kill you for this." I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders, and continued to drink my (overpriced and bad) wine. There also was a guy (and I only know he's a guy because Debbie told me so) video taping the entire thing, and he is easily the most androgynous person I've ever seen. It was creepy and definitely disturbing to think there might be proof that we were at that party! There were lots of couples there, making out or groovin' on the dance floor. My friend turns to me and says, this reminds me of how my grandma always told me there's a match for everyone. I agree, my grandfather always told me "there's a lid for every pot." This party confirmed these ideals for me.
We danced for a little bit (only when the video camera was focused somewhere else), and got the DJ to play Walk it Out (in honor of our last days in Bed-Stuy), which was quite possibly the only saving grace of the evening. After being there for probably less than an hour, we left.
When my friend was describing the party at the picnic the next day, she could not find the words to describe it as accurately as she would like. She just kept saying that it was 10x worse than she could have imagined. I didn't feel like this really did the party justice, or accurately described it. I did my best by describing it as such: When you're on an online dating site, there are still people who say to you, why are YOU dating online, I mean, YOU'RE not desperate. No one ever said that to these people. These people (with the exception of Debbie and a few of her more normal friends...) are the type of people that online dating was MADE for.
Appearance wise... there were a lot of short, balding jewish men and a lot jewish girls with large boobs prominently displayed all over the place. There was plenty of booty shaking, bumpin' and grindin', the kind of dancing that should not be done by people with all the elements working against them - be it height, weight, hair loss, gravity - it was NOT a pretty sight. But I was a few drinks deep, and didn't really care. If it makes them happy - so be it. These party people know how to get down and dirty, who am I care?
It was fun. Almost.
We walk in, and she's already not happy. She turns to me and says, "You've got to be kidding me." I laugh and just push her through the crowd of middle aged Jewish online daters. I noticed that the guy I went on the Dim Sum date with last summer was definitely there, and I made a point to not recognize him.
My friend and I are standing at the bar waiting to get drinks, when a guy gets on the microphone to make an announcement about someone but clearly does not use a normal name, it's some kind of code name. I turn to my friend and say, "oh I forgot to tell you... they refer to everyone here by their jdate names." My friend's response can only be described as a look that was meant to say, "I'm going to kill you for this." I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders, and continued to drink my (overpriced and bad) wine. There also was a guy (and I only know he's a guy because Debbie told me so) video taping the entire thing, and he is easily the most androgynous person I've ever seen. It was creepy and definitely disturbing to think there might be proof that we were at that party! There were lots of couples there, making out or groovin' on the dance floor. My friend turns to me and says, this reminds me of how my grandma always told me there's a match for everyone. I agree, my grandfather always told me "there's a lid for every pot." This party confirmed these ideals for me.
We danced for a little bit (only when the video camera was focused somewhere else), and got the DJ to play Walk it Out (in honor of our last days in Bed-Stuy), which was quite possibly the only saving grace of the evening. After being there for probably less than an hour, we left.
When my friend was describing the party at the picnic the next day, she could not find the words to describe it as accurately as she would like. She just kept saying that it was 10x worse than she could have imagined. I didn't feel like this really did the party justice, or accurately described it. I did my best by describing it as such: When you're on an online dating site, there are still people who say to you, why are YOU dating online, I mean, YOU'RE not desperate. No one ever said that to these people. These people (with the exception of Debbie and a few of her more normal friends...) are the type of people that online dating was MADE for.
Appearance wise... there were a lot of short, balding jewish men and a lot jewish girls with large boobs prominently displayed all over the place. There was plenty of booty shaking, bumpin' and grindin', the kind of dancing that should not be done by people with all the elements working against them - be it height, weight, hair loss, gravity - it was NOT a pretty sight. But I was a few drinks deep, and didn't really care. If it makes them happy - so be it. These party people know how to get down and dirty, who am I care?
It was fun. Almost.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Weekend Updates
... Coming Soon. This week is in intense stress mode, with school ending tomorrow (I can't believe I made it the whole year), graduation was today. My classroom is a mess (nothing new) and I'm trying to move it all out.
I'm a week and a half behind in my cataloging class, and half a week behind in my tech class, and while I'd rather be blogging about dates and this weekend's festivities... I'm stuck doing homework.
But despite all this stress, I dragged myself to the gym today, even though nothing in my body wanted to go (Less than 4 hours of sleep, combined with the heat and level of stress I'm under = not feeling energized). My trainer was having a rough day too, so we said screw the gym and went and got drinks instead! Hooray for cool trainers.
By Thursday I should be back on schedule, and will have another date to blog about... either tomorrow night or Thursday.
I'm a week and a half behind in my cataloging class, and half a week behind in my tech class, and while I'd rather be blogging about dates and this weekend's festivities... I'm stuck doing homework.
But despite all this stress, I dragged myself to the gym today, even though nothing in my body wanted to go (Less than 4 hours of sleep, combined with the heat and level of stress I'm under = not feeling energized). My trainer was having a rough day too, so we said screw the gym and went and got drinks instead! Hooray for cool trainers.
By Thursday I should be back on schedule, and will have another date to blog about... either tomorrow night or Thursday.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Nothing New
I wish I had something really exciting to post, or a new date, or something... but alas, my dating life is non-existent right now. My life is currently consumed with the following things: end of the school year crap, summer grad course, personal trainer/gym, finding a job for next year, and thinking about moving.
I've actually been pretty sad lately. I miss the Israeli a lot more than I thought I was going to, and it has not been fun. I've been back to all my online dating stomping grounds, and I haven't found anything worth pursuing. I'm definitely in a rut, and I know the Israeli has only been gone for 2 weeks, but really I thought I would be over this by now. I think having a bunch of his things at my apartment (that he will be picking up in August) is like a constant reminder, and it's hard. He called me last Monday from Vegas, and sent me a text message on Saturday from Bryce Canyon. He'll be leaving soon for Peru though, and will not have a cell phone while he's there. Maybe when he's out of the country it will be easier... or maybe I'll meet someone fun for the meantime. I hate that I'm looking forward to 3 days in August so much, I'm sure that is a disaster just waiting to happen.
In other newsy things, I'll be heading to a jdate party with Debbie in a few weeks, so maybe that, at the very least will provide something of interest to write about.
Ahhh, boredom.
I've actually been pretty sad lately. I miss the Israeli a lot more than I thought I was going to, and it has not been fun. I've been back to all my online dating stomping grounds, and I haven't found anything worth pursuing. I'm definitely in a rut, and I know the Israeli has only been gone for 2 weeks, but really I thought I would be over this by now. I think having a bunch of his things at my apartment (that he will be picking up in August) is like a constant reminder, and it's hard. He called me last Monday from Vegas, and sent me a text message on Saturday from Bryce Canyon. He'll be leaving soon for Peru though, and will not have a cell phone while he's there. Maybe when he's out of the country it will be easier... or maybe I'll meet someone fun for the meantime. I hate that I'm looking forward to 3 days in August so much, I'm sure that is a disaster just waiting to happen.
In other newsy things, I'll be heading to a jdate party with Debbie in a few weeks, so maybe that, at the very least will provide something of interest to write about.
Ahhh, boredom.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
The End
The Israeli has left for now, and Monday was probably the most emotionally draining day I have spent in many years. So many rounds of crying, I surprised even myself.
The day did not start well. I was irritated with him because he sent me a text message on Monday morning at 5am saying that he just finished packing, was going to sleep for a few hours, and would call me at 1 to make plans for the day. I knew that if he only slept for 3 hours or so, he would be exhausted all day, and not fun to be around. So I sent him a text message back around 9ish saying that I was going to the gym and for him to call me when he was up, but if he was going to be tired like he was on Saturday, I'd rather not. I don't know what I was expecting him to say or do really, but he called me at 1, and said he was running some errands and then he was going to go back to his apartment and we'd get together at 6. Oh no. I did not put aside my whole memorial day to wait until 6 to see him. We got into our first and only argument because I made it clear that I was not happy with that situation. He retaliated with the fact that I had told him that I didn't want to see him if he was tired, and he was going to take a nap so he wouldn't be. I can't really blame him, but in the moment I was angry, and I made some comment about why does he care anyway if I gave up my day for him - he's still leaving the next day regardless. He got really angry when I said that, and said that if I honestly thought he didn't care about me or my plans, then it was nice knowing me, and that's that. I thought he was actually going to hang up on me, but he didn't... and we worked through the issue, and I wound up going over there at 6.
I was unprepared for how emotional I was going to get when I got there. I teared up immediately, and did not set a very good mood initially for the evening. We laid in bed for a while, just talking, and me being weepy and ridiculous. At one point, the Israeli asked me if I really didn't know how much he cared about me. I said that I knew he cared about being intimate with me, but how much he cared... no I don't actually KNOW that he cares about me. Then, he got really upset, and teary and said that it really hurt him that I didn't know that he cared, and if he was only interested in sex do I think he would've done so much just for sex. To be perfectly honest, I don't know. And I wasn't trying to hurt him by saying that, but he kept me pretty separate from the rest of his life here in Brooklyn - which to me doesn't show that he cares very much. When I care about someone, I want them to be as involved in my life as possible. He says that he always invited me out and I always said no, but I only remember saying no once or twice because I actually had other things I had to do. After about 2 hours of teary and emotionally draining conversations (in which the Israeli told me if we both were still single when we were 30, we should get married... 30 is only 3 years and a few months away for me, I'm not in any rush to be married by the time I'm 30, or even at all - at least not the Israeli.)
We went to dinner at a really interesting restaurant in Park Slope, which I had been set on going to. It's an Oaxacan restaurant called Chilies and Chocolate, which serves Mexican style dishes with chocolate and chillies infused into their dishes (so surprising based on the name, isn't it.) We got there at 8:30, and the place looked empty. Maybe 3 or 4 couples eating there, and about 6 open tables. I was surprised when they told us it would be a 20 minute wait because it was literally empty. But the hostess was gracious enough to explain that the restaurant had been slammed with business all day, and the kitchen really needed a break. She also informed us that it is a BYOB restaurant (another huge plus for this place) and pointed us in the right direction of the 7th Ave Wine & Liquor Co. It was a great night, so we walked down to the shop, bought a bottle of wine (and the Israeli bought me a bottle of wine because I saw one there that I thought looked cool - yes I judge my wine based on the bottle), and sat outside the restaurant for the 20 mins until our table was ready. During that time, the Israeli got a phone call from a friend who he had made plans with for dinner already. I had not been happy about this in the beginning, it was supposed to be OUR night, and had voiced that during the argument we had earlier. He had said that he didn't mind cancelling plans with her, and I thought he had done so. He apparently couldn't get in touch with her because she had lost her phone, blah blah blah, and puts me on the spot by asking me while she's on the phone if I mind if she joins us for dinner. Now I know how my mom felt when I used to ask her if friends could eat dinner over or stay over in front of them... I of course said I didn't mind, and honestly at that point it wasn't such a big deal. We went back to the restaurant, and since our party had changed from 2 to 3, we were sat in the back tent, which had a great ambiance. The Israeli went on a bit of an ordering spree, saying he wanted to try it all, so 2 appetizers (one that was supposed to include fried grasshoppers, but apparently they had run out... it was good anyway.) and 2 entrees, and a dessert later... we had a large dinner (which, despite the name, you don't really taste the chocolate as you would expect to, it's not sweetened, so it's really just a smooth flavor that cuts the spiciness down a bit). His friend showed up not long after we ordered, and he introduced me as his girlfriend. Actually this is exactly how he introduced me... "This is my girlfriend, E, who I am leaving." What? His friend actually had such a hard time understanding my name because there was so many other words around it. I looked at him and said, "Really, this is E, would have been sufficient." And then had to introduce myself to the girl anyway, on top of all of that. Dinner was fine, I had a no Hebrew or Russian speaking rule (since both the Israeli and his friend are fluent in both), and I think that hindered the conversation a bit, because while they both speak English well enough, I'm sure there is no way they would have spoken it if I weren't there.
We were at dinner until 10:30, at which point we had to go back to the Israeli's apartment. His boss was coming to pick up his boxes so they could be shipped back to Israel, and he really hadn't finished packing. His boss didn't show up until 11:15 or so, and I was getting nervous because I knew I had to work the next day, and didn't know how I would do that on no sleep. His boss and the Israel took the boxes over to the office and I stayed back to take a nap. The Israeli woke me up about 2 hours later, when he had really finished packing, and all the stuff had been moved out to where it needed to go. Eventually, we got back to my apartment at 2am, and promptly went to bed. I wasn't very tired because I had just taken a 2 hour nap, and had fully woken up from it... so we didn't actually go to sleep until around 4. In that time, there was another round of tears and me getting really upset knowing that in a few hours, he would be gone. We slept from 4 - 5, and then we had to get up so he could leave by 5:30 to make it to the airport on time. The day before (with all my extra free time) I had packed him a breakfast of fruits, cheese, and a variety of nuts for him to bring with him on the plane. I also bought him Brooklyn Follies by Paul Auster, since after we read Oracle Night, Auster will always remind me of him. I walked him outside (because nothing is more irritating then saying goodbye with the awful buzzer on my door - and he had his backpack in my car anyway.) I gave him the book and the breakfast, and we said goodbye. It was less painful and sad than I thought, I was also extremely tired and couldn't wait to get back to sleep for one more hour (making a total of 4 for the night).
Before leaving for school that morning, I checked my phone and saw I had 2 missed calls from the Israeli while I was in the shower. I called him back, and thankfully got him right before he got on the plane. He called to thank me for everything, and he said he'd call me while he was in California. If he does, that's fine, but I'm pretty sure this story is over. They were 4 good months, and I'm surprised I was as upset as I was, because I rarely have ever cried over a guy. I'll miss him for sure, and I'm in my own home stretch in the city. I have just about 3 months exactly left here, and I'm getting sad about moving.
I have no dates planned any time soon. I do have some interviews scheduled for jobs next year, and my first of two summer courses for grad school started yesterday. So that will keep me busy (yet uninteresting) for the time being. It's not the end of the blog, I'm sure, but for now there might be a lack in material.
The day did not start well. I was irritated with him because he sent me a text message on Monday morning at 5am saying that he just finished packing, was going to sleep for a few hours, and would call me at 1 to make plans for the day. I knew that if he only slept for 3 hours or so, he would be exhausted all day, and not fun to be around. So I sent him a text message back around 9ish saying that I was going to the gym and for him to call me when he was up, but if he was going to be tired like he was on Saturday, I'd rather not. I don't know what I was expecting him to say or do really, but he called me at 1, and said he was running some errands and then he was going to go back to his apartment and we'd get together at 6. Oh no. I did not put aside my whole memorial day to wait until 6 to see him. We got into our first and only argument because I made it clear that I was not happy with that situation. He retaliated with the fact that I had told him that I didn't want to see him if he was tired, and he was going to take a nap so he wouldn't be. I can't really blame him, but in the moment I was angry, and I made some comment about why does he care anyway if I gave up my day for him - he's still leaving the next day regardless. He got really angry when I said that, and said that if I honestly thought he didn't care about me or my plans, then it was nice knowing me, and that's that. I thought he was actually going to hang up on me, but he didn't... and we worked through the issue, and I wound up going over there at 6.
I was unprepared for how emotional I was going to get when I got there. I teared up immediately, and did not set a very good mood initially for the evening. We laid in bed for a while, just talking, and me being weepy and ridiculous. At one point, the Israeli asked me if I really didn't know how much he cared about me. I said that I knew he cared about being intimate with me, but how much he cared... no I don't actually KNOW that he cares about me. Then, he got really upset, and teary and said that it really hurt him that I didn't know that he cared, and if he was only interested in sex do I think he would've done so much just for sex. To be perfectly honest, I don't know. And I wasn't trying to hurt him by saying that, but he kept me pretty separate from the rest of his life here in Brooklyn - which to me doesn't show that he cares very much. When I care about someone, I want them to be as involved in my life as possible. He says that he always invited me out and I always said no, but I only remember saying no once or twice because I actually had other things I had to do. After about 2 hours of teary and emotionally draining conversations (in which the Israeli told me if we both were still single when we were 30, we should get married... 30 is only 3 years and a few months away for me, I'm not in any rush to be married by the time I'm 30, or even at all - at least not the Israeli.)
We went to dinner at a really interesting restaurant in Park Slope, which I had been set on going to. It's an Oaxacan restaurant called Chilies and Chocolate, which serves Mexican style dishes with chocolate and chillies infused into their dishes (so surprising based on the name, isn't it.) We got there at 8:30, and the place looked empty. Maybe 3 or 4 couples eating there, and about 6 open tables. I was surprised when they told us it would be a 20 minute wait because it was literally empty. But the hostess was gracious enough to explain that the restaurant had been slammed with business all day, and the kitchen really needed a break. She also informed us that it is a BYOB restaurant (another huge plus for this place) and pointed us in the right direction of the 7th Ave Wine & Liquor Co. It was a great night, so we walked down to the shop, bought a bottle of wine (and the Israeli bought me a bottle of wine because I saw one there that I thought looked cool - yes I judge my wine based on the bottle), and sat outside the restaurant for the 20 mins until our table was ready. During that time, the Israeli got a phone call from a friend who he had made plans with for dinner already. I had not been happy about this in the beginning, it was supposed to be OUR night, and had voiced that during the argument we had earlier. He had said that he didn't mind cancelling plans with her, and I thought he had done so. He apparently couldn't get in touch with her because she had lost her phone, blah blah blah, and puts me on the spot by asking me while she's on the phone if I mind if she joins us for dinner. Now I know how my mom felt when I used to ask her if friends could eat dinner over or stay over in front of them... I of course said I didn't mind, and honestly at that point it wasn't such a big deal. We went back to the restaurant, and since our party had changed from 2 to 3, we were sat in the back tent, which had a great ambiance. The Israeli went on a bit of an ordering spree, saying he wanted to try it all, so 2 appetizers (one that was supposed to include fried grasshoppers, but apparently they had run out... it was good anyway.) and 2 entrees, and a dessert later... we had a large dinner (which, despite the name, you don't really taste the chocolate as you would expect to, it's not sweetened, so it's really just a smooth flavor that cuts the spiciness down a bit). His friend showed up not long after we ordered, and he introduced me as his girlfriend. Actually this is exactly how he introduced me... "This is my girlfriend, E, who I am leaving." What? His friend actually had such a hard time understanding my name because there was so many other words around it. I looked at him and said, "Really, this is E, would have been sufficient." And then had to introduce myself to the girl anyway, on top of all of that. Dinner was fine, I had a no Hebrew or Russian speaking rule (since both the Israeli and his friend are fluent in both), and I think that hindered the conversation a bit, because while they both speak English well enough, I'm sure there is no way they would have spoken it if I weren't there.
We were at dinner until 10:30, at which point we had to go back to the Israeli's apartment. His boss was coming to pick up his boxes so they could be shipped back to Israel, and he really hadn't finished packing. His boss didn't show up until 11:15 or so, and I was getting nervous because I knew I had to work the next day, and didn't know how I would do that on no sleep. His boss and the Israel took the boxes over to the office and I stayed back to take a nap. The Israeli woke me up about 2 hours later, when he had really finished packing, and all the stuff had been moved out to where it needed to go. Eventually, we got back to my apartment at 2am, and promptly went to bed. I wasn't very tired because I had just taken a 2 hour nap, and had fully woken up from it... so we didn't actually go to sleep until around 4. In that time, there was another round of tears and me getting really upset knowing that in a few hours, he would be gone. We slept from 4 - 5, and then we had to get up so he could leave by 5:30 to make it to the airport on time. The day before (with all my extra free time) I had packed him a breakfast of fruits, cheese, and a variety of nuts for him to bring with him on the plane. I also bought him Brooklyn Follies by Paul Auster, since after we read Oracle Night, Auster will always remind me of him. I walked him outside (because nothing is more irritating then saying goodbye with the awful buzzer on my door - and he had his backpack in my car anyway.) I gave him the book and the breakfast, and we said goodbye. It was less painful and sad than I thought, I was also extremely tired and couldn't wait to get back to sleep for one more hour (making a total of 4 for the night).
Before leaving for school that morning, I checked my phone and saw I had 2 missed calls from the Israeli while I was in the shower. I called him back, and thankfully got him right before he got on the plane. He called to thank me for everything, and he said he'd call me while he was in California. If he does, that's fine, but I'm pretty sure this story is over. They were 4 good months, and I'm surprised I was as upset as I was, because I rarely have ever cried over a guy. I'll miss him for sure, and I'm in my own home stretch in the city. I have just about 3 months exactly left here, and I'm getting sad about moving.
I have no dates planned any time soon. I do have some interviews scheduled for jobs next year, and my first of two summer courses for grad school started yesterday. So that will keep me busy (yet uninteresting) for the time being. It's not the end of the blog, I'm sure, but for now there might be a lack in material.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
One Year
Today marks one year since I started the blog, just out of a 5 month relationship (not too much longer than the one I'm just getting out now...) and ready to meet new people. Well, I did just that. This year has brought out the best in me and maybe a little bit of the worst. But no one can say I didn't make the most of my time in New York! Maybe just for fun, I'll have the Israeli wear some make-up tomorrow, we'll go up to Central Park, and he can make racially inappropriate comments as we walk down Broadway. It can be an annual thing. I actually did take him to my friend's bar on Saturday night, which is where the atrocious make-up date ended, and that would have been one year exactly from that date. I have to say though that I think my friend approved more of the Israeli than she did of the make-up wearing racist.
So, I've been hesitant to post about my final weekend with the Israeli, because I really am sad about it. As much as you know that someone is not going to be around and you plan for their departure, it still doesn't stop the sadness from creeping up on you out of nowhere.
We spent the day together yesterday, and we will do the same tomorrow. Yesterday was good fun. He called me in the morning around 10, which surprised me because the Israeli is very rarely up before noon on a non-working day. I was actually still in bed recovering from the night before, but not really sleeping. His brother had just left and he called me right away. He was going to go pick up his glasses and then wanted to come over to my place. I went to the gym and by the time I got back, he was waiting outside my apartment (or rather loitering on the next door neighbor's stoop - times like these would be nice to have a stoop, although my crazy landlord would never let anyone sit on it - it'd probably be alarmed and such). He came up to the apartment, and we chatted with my roommate for a bit as she was getting ready to go for a run. After she left and I showered, we ended up spending a majority of the day in bed. He was really tired from having not slept the night before, and we napped on and off for about 3 and a half hours.
After we got up, we went to Joya for dinner. In the 4 months I have been dating the Israeli it was the first time we had gone to Thai food - and not even my neighborhood Thai place where they know me. It was good, we got to sit outside, and went early enough that there was no wait and it was not crowded at all. After dinner, we went into Manhattan to visit my friend who was bartending. Since she's been hearing about the Israeli first hand since our very first date, I didn't think it would be fair if she didn't get to meet him. I'm pretty sure she liked him well enough, as I think most of my friends have. We stayed for an hour or so, and he was trying very hard not to fall asleep at the bar. We went back to Brooklyn, I picked up my laundry from my apartment and then drove us over to his place (his apartment = free laundry). I did my laundry, and he was trying to set up some arrangements for his travels over the next few months. He is flying out on Tuesday to California where he will meet up with his brother. They are traveling along the west coast for a few weeks, then his brother goes back to Israel, and the Israeli will travel to South America - Peru, Bolivia, and Brazil. Then he comes back to North America and will spend time in Canada, and then taking the train cross-country from Seattle back to New York. He will be here for 3 days in August... I've already told him he can stay here (that is my sadness talking when I say that - and then I remember how much he irritates me sometimes!). Anyway, back to last night, I ended up falling asleep while doing my laundry/reading a book. He finished my laundry for me, which I thought was really sweet, and then came to bed a few hours later. For someone who was so tired when we were out, he found plenty of energy when he got home.
In the morning, we got up relatively early because the Israeli was going hiking today with some of the students from his work. I got to meet 2 of them, which marks the only 2 people I have met that the Israeli has introduced me to. I was supposed to go over tonight, but my parents and brother came up to the city to see a show, and I got back later than I thought I would. I called the Israeli on my way home, and he wasn't back from hiking yet anyway. So tomorrow morning we'll meet up instead. I can use a little rest, and some time to gather my thoughts on how this will all end. One day left until the Israeli dating stories will end (that is until August possibly....)
So, I've been hesitant to post about my final weekend with the Israeli, because I really am sad about it. As much as you know that someone is not going to be around and you plan for their departure, it still doesn't stop the sadness from creeping up on you out of nowhere.
We spent the day together yesterday, and we will do the same tomorrow. Yesterday was good fun. He called me in the morning around 10, which surprised me because the Israeli is very rarely up before noon on a non-working day. I was actually still in bed recovering from the night before, but not really sleeping. His brother had just left and he called me right away. He was going to go pick up his glasses and then wanted to come over to my place. I went to the gym and by the time I got back, he was waiting outside my apartment (or rather loitering on the next door neighbor's stoop - times like these would be nice to have a stoop, although my crazy landlord would never let anyone sit on it - it'd probably be alarmed and such). He came up to the apartment, and we chatted with my roommate for a bit as she was getting ready to go for a run. After she left and I showered, we ended up spending a majority of the day in bed. He was really tired from having not slept the night before, and we napped on and off for about 3 and a half hours.
After we got up, we went to Joya for dinner. In the 4 months I have been dating the Israeli it was the first time we had gone to Thai food - and not even my neighborhood Thai place where they know me. It was good, we got to sit outside, and went early enough that there was no wait and it was not crowded at all. After dinner, we went into Manhattan to visit my friend who was bartending. Since she's been hearing about the Israeli first hand since our very first date, I didn't think it would be fair if she didn't get to meet him. I'm pretty sure she liked him well enough, as I think most of my friends have. We stayed for an hour or so, and he was trying very hard not to fall asleep at the bar. We went back to Brooklyn, I picked up my laundry from my apartment and then drove us over to his place (his apartment = free laundry). I did my laundry, and he was trying to set up some arrangements for his travels over the next few months. He is flying out on Tuesday to California where he will meet up with his brother. They are traveling along the west coast for a few weeks, then his brother goes back to Israel, and the Israeli will travel to South America - Peru, Bolivia, and Brazil. Then he comes back to North America and will spend time in Canada, and then taking the train cross-country from Seattle back to New York. He will be here for 3 days in August... I've already told him he can stay here (that is my sadness talking when I say that - and then I remember how much he irritates me sometimes!). Anyway, back to last night, I ended up falling asleep while doing my laundry/reading a book. He finished my laundry for me, which I thought was really sweet, and then came to bed a few hours later. For someone who was so tired when we were out, he found plenty of energy when he got home.
In the morning, we got up relatively early because the Israeli was going hiking today with some of the students from his work. I got to meet 2 of them, which marks the only 2 people I have met that the Israeli has introduced me to. I was supposed to go over tonight, but my parents and brother came up to the city to see a show, and I got back later than I thought I would. I called the Israeli on my way home, and he wasn't back from hiking yet anyway. So tomorrow morning we'll meet up instead. I can use a little rest, and some time to gather my thoughts on how this will all end. One day left until the Israeli dating stories will end (that is until August possibly....)
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Perfect Day
It was rainy... and cold - being that it is nearing the end of May. But today was probably the closest I will get to what I imagined my perfect day in the city to be like.
I guess it started last night, when the Israeli came over. We hadn't seen each other since last Friday when he came to the Brooklyn Bridge with my students and me, and that wasn't exactly our most intimate experience. As soon as he got to my apartment, I felt sad and happy and really really anxious. We decided to watch a movie, although not much of the movie got watched and we ended up just stopping it after about an hour and going to bed. We had a really nice night, and my plan was to get up an hour before he did, so I could go to the gym. We both ended up waking up around 10 (I had been up at 9, and decided it was too early to go to the gym, so I went back to sleep). He tried keeping me in bed, and succeeded until about 11, when I did actually get up and go to the gym, leaving him alone in my bedroom. This is not something that I do lightly. I am not a very trusting person when it comes to leaving someone alone with all my stuff... although the thought didn't cross my mind until I was about halfway through my workout. I was definitely relieved to find him back asleep when I came back from the gym.
We showered and went to a delicious brunch in my neighborhood. It's a middle eastern restaurant, so they have middle eastern style brunches, which made the Israeli very happy. We had such a nice time just talking and sharing food, and I was trying very hard to keep the feeling of dread that this will be one of the last days I have with him at bay. He had to go to the eye doctor after brunch to get new glasses, and I was not planning on going with him. The place was all the way down in Brooklyn, off of Ave. U on the F. After brunch the plan was he was going to go to the eye doctor's and I was going to go home. He asked me if I wanted to come with him though, as we were finishing brunch. Being the cynical, jaded girl that I am, my immediate response was - I'm not driving you down there. He looked surprised, and said, No, I just wanted you to come with me, for company. I know I put my guard up when I need to keep myself from getting too emotionally attached to someone, and I'm pretty sure my immediate thought that he was using me stems somewhere from that. Feeling really bad about what I said, I of course agreed to go with him. It was a complex train ride, as the downtown F is not stopping at the station near my apartment this weekend, and it complicated things. We had a nice train ride down though, once we did in fact get on the train.
At the eye doctor (more like an eyeglasses store), I was the only person in the place that did not speak Russian. It was very confusing and a little intimidating. At one point I was getting hot water for my tea, from one of those cooler dispensers, and I (being a genius) could not figure out the contraption to get the hot water (there was a knob and a button...) the woman next to me started telling me how to do it in Russian. I, thankfully, figured it out at the same time, so I just smiled a thank you at her, and pretended like I understood. It was an interesting experience. But it was fun, helping the Israeli pick out new frames (which are practically identical to the ones he has now), and just spending the day together. After he got his frames, and we were walking back to the train, he stopped to get us some ice cream. It was a little cold to be eating ice cream outside, but it was so sweet, I couldn't say no.
He took the train halfway back with me, and when he got off, he said he'd call me when his brother left - that's next Friday. I know we're planning on spending a couple of days during the weekend next weekend, Sunday night - Tuesday pretty much. He leaves Tuesday morning, and then that's it. I can't believe it's been nearly 4 months, and I can't believe I am as sad as I am. Today was not really a noteworthy day of any sort, but it was exactly what I wanted.
I guess it started last night, when the Israeli came over. We hadn't seen each other since last Friday when he came to the Brooklyn Bridge with my students and me, and that wasn't exactly our most intimate experience. As soon as he got to my apartment, I felt sad and happy and really really anxious. We decided to watch a movie, although not much of the movie got watched and we ended up just stopping it after about an hour and going to bed. We had a really nice night, and my plan was to get up an hour before he did, so I could go to the gym. We both ended up waking up around 10 (I had been up at 9, and decided it was too early to go to the gym, so I went back to sleep). He tried keeping me in bed, and succeeded until about 11, when I did actually get up and go to the gym, leaving him alone in my bedroom. This is not something that I do lightly. I am not a very trusting person when it comes to leaving someone alone with all my stuff... although the thought didn't cross my mind until I was about halfway through my workout. I was definitely relieved to find him back asleep when I came back from the gym.
We showered and went to a delicious brunch in my neighborhood. It's a middle eastern restaurant, so they have middle eastern style brunches, which made the Israeli very happy. We had such a nice time just talking and sharing food, and I was trying very hard to keep the feeling of dread that this will be one of the last days I have with him at bay. He had to go to the eye doctor after brunch to get new glasses, and I was not planning on going with him. The place was all the way down in Brooklyn, off of Ave. U on the F. After brunch the plan was he was going to go to the eye doctor's and I was going to go home. He asked me if I wanted to come with him though, as we were finishing brunch. Being the cynical, jaded girl that I am, my immediate response was - I'm not driving you down there. He looked surprised, and said, No, I just wanted you to come with me, for company. I know I put my guard up when I need to keep myself from getting too emotionally attached to someone, and I'm pretty sure my immediate thought that he was using me stems somewhere from that. Feeling really bad about what I said, I of course agreed to go with him. It was a complex train ride, as the downtown F is not stopping at the station near my apartment this weekend, and it complicated things. We had a nice train ride down though, once we did in fact get on the train.
At the eye doctor (more like an eyeglasses store), I was the only person in the place that did not speak Russian. It was very confusing and a little intimidating. At one point I was getting hot water for my tea, from one of those cooler dispensers, and I (being a genius) could not figure out the contraption to get the hot water (there was a knob and a button...) the woman next to me started telling me how to do it in Russian. I, thankfully, figured it out at the same time, so I just smiled a thank you at her, and pretended like I understood. It was an interesting experience. But it was fun, helping the Israeli pick out new frames (which are practically identical to the ones he has now), and just spending the day together. After he got his frames, and we were walking back to the train, he stopped to get us some ice cream. It was a little cold to be eating ice cream outside, but it was so sweet, I couldn't say no.
He took the train halfway back with me, and when he got off, he said he'd call me when his brother left - that's next Friday. I know we're planning on spending a couple of days during the weekend next weekend, Sunday night - Tuesday pretty much. He leaves Tuesday morning, and then that's it. I can't believe it's been nearly 4 months, and I can't believe I am as sad as I am. Today was not really a noteworthy day of any sort, but it was exactly what I wanted.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Care Bears and Beer
Last night I had yet another date that was not with the Israeli. I am getting a little upset that I haven't really heard from him in his last few weeks here, but more on that later.
Last night I went on a date with a guy I met through the Onion personals. He seemed like he might be a little effeminate for me, but I wasn't going to pass on the opportunity to go on an interesting date. Through one of his emails he confessed that he owned 4 Care Bears. Which I guess could be considered cool... somehow. Anyway, we had a decent phone conversation on Monday night, and decided to meet up for a drink on Wednesday.
When I got off the train on my way home from work yesterday, there were apocalyptic conditions outside. An entire part of a tree had broken off due to the high winds and was lying in the middle of my street, not to mention all the debris and smaller branches from other trees whirling about. I was really tempted to cancel the date, because while a little rain doesn't bother me, it did not seem like it would be good "going out" weather. He text messaged me to see if I still wanted to go out, and decided why not... There was nothing else I was going to be doing besides going to the gym and just hanging out in my apartment.
We met up in Williamsburg, at a bar that I was supposed to go to on a date at the end of last summer (I think it was A Summer's End). I was walking down the street towards the bar, and I see this guy looking at me kind of funny. I looked back, and kept walking, but then realized that the guy looked similarly to the guy I was supposed to be meeting, and maybe it was him. What an awkward moment when you stop and stare at someone that you don't know if it's the right person or not. He said something along the lines of, I think you're looking for me. And I responded with something very intelligent like, Oh am I? He was indeed the guy I was meeting. The bar was too crowded (again) this time due to Trivia and not Bingo, but regardless, there were no seats, and it would not have been a good environment to have a conversation. So, we went down the street to the bar that I went to on the Summer's End date, which was again quiet and relatively empty.
It was a good date. We had a few beers, heard some good tunes, and most importantly, talked. We talked for a while, and he reminds me of a combination of 2 guys that I've dated over the past year. One is a guy from before the blog and the other is D. A strange combination, but has good qualities of both, and not so much the bad qualities. One way he reminds me of D? He's currently living with his ex-girlfriend. WHAT? Ok. He is moving out June 1st. But still.... He assured me that he would not be in contact with his ex once he does move out. I don't really care about that, but they've been broken up for a few months from what he's told me, and he still hasn't moved out. It's a little strange. But he seems like a decent enough guy, and at least I don't know the ex this time. We stayed at the bar until about 11, which is fairly late for a school night and me being all the way out in Williamsburg. We walked over to the train together, and we had to part ways to go down to opposite sides of the G train. He went in for the hug and kiss, but I definitely turned my head, so he only go a kiss on the cheek goodnight. I don't know, I just felt a little weird kissing him in the subway. We went down our separate ways, and he mentioned something about doing this again. I'd be game for it, he was nice enough. I think it would be fun to see where the second date leads too. So long as he really moves out from the ex's place soon... otherwise this could be D-trouble all over again.
Tonight I went to a bar on the UWS with a friend for happy hour. Happy Hour turned into many happy hours, resulting in me drinking way too many beers, doing tequila shots, playing beer pong, and most importantly talking to some guy from Brooklyn and giving him my number. I don't know how I would feel about him in the sobering daylight, but hey, it's something different for a change! Ahh, spring. Iheart dating season.
Last night I went on a date with a guy I met through the Onion personals. He seemed like he might be a little effeminate for me, but I wasn't going to pass on the opportunity to go on an interesting date. Through one of his emails he confessed that he owned 4 Care Bears. Which I guess could be considered cool... somehow. Anyway, we had a decent phone conversation on Monday night, and decided to meet up for a drink on Wednesday.
When I got off the train on my way home from work yesterday, there were apocalyptic conditions outside. An entire part of a tree had broken off due to the high winds and was lying in the middle of my street, not to mention all the debris and smaller branches from other trees whirling about. I was really tempted to cancel the date, because while a little rain doesn't bother me, it did not seem like it would be good "going out" weather. He text messaged me to see if I still wanted to go out, and decided why not... There was nothing else I was going to be doing besides going to the gym and just hanging out in my apartment.
We met up in Williamsburg, at a bar that I was supposed to go to on a date at the end of last summer (I think it was A Summer's End). I was walking down the street towards the bar, and I see this guy looking at me kind of funny. I looked back, and kept walking, but then realized that the guy looked similarly to the guy I was supposed to be meeting, and maybe it was him. What an awkward moment when you stop and stare at someone that you don't know if it's the right person or not. He said something along the lines of, I think you're looking for me. And I responded with something very intelligent like, Oh am I? He was indeed the guy I was meeting. The bar was too crowded (again) this time due to Trivia and not Bingo, but regardless, there were no seats, and it would not have been a good environment to have a conversation. So, we went down the street to the bar that I went to on the Summer's End date, which was again quiet and relatively empty.
It was a good date. We had a few beers, heard some good tunes, and most importantly, talked. We talked for a while, and he reminds me of a combination of 2 guys that I've dated over the past year. One is a guy from before the blog and the other is D. A strange combination, but has good qualities of both, and not so much the bad qualities. One way he reminds me of D? He's currently living with his ex-girlfriend. WHAT? Ok. He is moving out June 1st. But still.... He assured me that he would not be in contact with his ex once he does move out. I don't really care about that, but they've been broken up for a few months from what he's told me, and he still hasn't moved out. It's a little strange. But he seems like a decent enough guy, and at least I don't know the ex this time. We stayed at the bar until about 11, which is fairly late for a school night and me being all the way out in Williamsburg. We walked over to the train together, and we had to part ways to go down to opposite sides of the G train. He went in for the hug and kiss, but I definitely turned my head, so he only go a kiss on the cheek goodnight. I don't know, I just felt a little weird kissing him in the subway. We went down our separate ways, and he mentioned something about doing this again. I'd be game for it, he was nice enough. I think it would be fun to see where the second date leads too. So long as he really moves out from the ex's place soon... otherwise this could be D-trouble all over again.
Tonight I went to a bar on the UWS with a friend for happy hour. Happy Hour turned into many happy hours, resulting in me drinking way too many beers, doing tequila shots, playing beer pong, and most importantly talking to some guy from Brooklyn and giving him my number. I don't know how I would feel about him in the sobering daylight, but hey, it's something different for a change! Ahh, spring. I
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Speed Dating and the Brooklyn Bridge
The past week has been eventful, to the say the very least. On Thursday night a friend and I went speed dating on the Lower East Side. It was your typical speed dating set up (not that I had ever done it before... but it's what it looks like on TV and in movies...), rows of tables and the guys move and I just got to sit there and go on 16 mini dates in about an hour. Each date was 3 minutes long, and for some people 3 minutes goes by really quickly, and for some... it seems like 3 hours of torture. At the end of the 3 minute, the host rings a gong (it was at a bar called China One - I guess they wanted to stick with the theme) and the guys move up one seat. There is also a paper to write everyone's name on and some short notes to help you remember them later when it was time to make the selections.
I have a hard time remember all of the details, but I will do the best I can for each of my dates.
#1 - My notes for this guy were: Ireland. I got to speak with this guy the longest, because he sat down at the table and we started talking before the event officially began. He was nice, foreign (which seemed to be the underlying theme for the night), and seemed like a good guy. It was a good way to start the night.
#2 - Notes: Dr. Brooklyn Heights. So he was a doctor who lived in Brooklyn Heights. Also foreign, from India. I found on this date that it was going to be hard to hear my dates. Yes, they were sitting right across from me, but I was at a table that had another girl sitting directly next to me (with no space in between), so her conversation kept filtering through, and it was just generally loud at this place. So the Dr. from BK Heights was nice, but I had to keep asking him to repeat himself.
#3 - Notes: Financial District. I'm not sure why these are my notes for this guy. I know he lives there now, but it really doesn't tell me much else. I remember that he was from Georgia, and he would have been really cute, except he had this crazy thing going on with his hair. It was straight, and longish parted down the middle and kind of pushed back off his face. It was weird, but other than that, he was probably one of the best looking guys there... which doesn't say too much.
#4 - Notes: dog/beagle/code. I had a hard time remembering this date afterwards when I was hashing out details with my friend. He was her last date, and she thought he was the absolute worst. I'd have to disagree, only because the one after him (my friends 1st date) was by far my worst. So this guy was boring, and clearly older than the age limit (the age of the event was 22-30). He talked about his job which is writing code. I clearly don't know much about that and was bored so I tried to change the subject. I asked him what he does outside of work (which I will clarify that I only asked this as a save question because the worst question all the guys could ask me was "what do you do for fun" because it's such a lame question.), so date #4 told me that he likes to borrow his parents dog, which is a beagle, and take him out in the city and to the park. This date seemed longer than 3 minutes. I was grateful for the gong, but I had no idea what was coming next.
#5 - Notes: surfing/college. The first thing this guy says when he sits down is, "I think you're too old for me." What? I ask him repeat what he just said, just to be sure I heard correctly. Sure enough. I'm too old. Now, I'm right in the middle of the age bracket of the group, so I would have thought this guy would have expected to meet women older than him... being that he was 22. Yes, definitely too young for me. I have a hard time thinking about dating someone who is 25, let alone a 22 year old. I gathered from our conversation that he was not the brightest bulb, and he actually was probably a little bit slow. He talked about how he's in school for engineering (yet, he told my friend something completely different), and that he likes to surf. Whenever I thought 3 minutes should be up, it wasn't. And I just kept thinking that I've been on longer dates than this that were probably just as bad, I can do this... It's just 3 minutes. Finally the host rang the gong, and the longest 3 minutes of my life were over.
#6 - Notes: trucks/? 2nd time. After the last date, anything would have been a welcome relief. This guy sat down, and he was nice enough. He reminded me however a lot of D, physically and in his actions. He told me that he works in transportation because when he was growing up he was obsessed with trucks and trains and things like that. Interesting... It also was his second time doing speed dating. I don't really remember much else about the 3 minutes.
#7 - Notes: none. I did not write a single thing down about this guy. I had a really really hard time hearing him. It turns out, he's from Peru (my friend found this out - not me) and had I known this, I would have had plenty to talk to him about. I couldn't hear a word he said, and he was really awkward and shy. He kept talking down towards the table which made it even worse.
#8 - Notes: Study/. When this guy sat down, he had his paper that he was taking notes on in front of him. He had been talking to a girl before the event began, and on his notes (yes, I looked) he had written "cool chick" and underlined it a few times and drew hearts next to it. He also had the Yes box boldly checked. It was pretty funny, just to see a guy's notes with hearts and stuff drawn on it. We talked pretty much about the psychology of speed dating, and he thinks that most matches come from the very beginning of the night, because after a while you are just exhausted and noone seems appealing. He might be right, the dates did seem wear on you as the night continued. I didn't find out anything about him. That was all we talked about, I think.
#9 - Notes: Finland. When a guy was foreign, I really took to writing down where they were from. This guy was cute, he works for the diplomacy for Finland. He's a political advisor to an ambassador. We talked about Finland and how in the summer it's light 24 hours a day, and in the winter there are months without sunlight at all. I couldn't imagine that. I think that must be the most depressing place to live if there is no sunlight for months at a time. We talked about that for a while, and we talked about teaching some. He was nice, but there was not much of a connection there. An easy 3 minutes, but not someone I'd date again.
#10 - Notes: Concerts. This guy was from Barcelona, and did not speak English very well at all. Besides being hard to hear him, it was hard to understand him even when I could hear him. We ended up talking a lot about concerts and good places to see live music in the city. He must not have been living here for very long, I did ask him... but I couldn't make out his answer, and he had repeated himself so many times prior to that, I couldn't ask him to repeat himself again. So we talked about music and concerts, and he seemed generally clueless about most things musical in the city. From what I could tell, he likes 90s pop rock, and wants to find places that play that type of music live. I told him his best bets were on the LES and in Williamsburg.
#11 - Notes: None. This guy was the last guy before our half-way break. I remember what he looks like. I don't remember what we talked about. Not even a little bit. My friend told me that he was from Russia. I know we didn't talk about that. There was nothing memorable about this guy.
---- Break ---- We had a 15 minute break in which to use the bathroom, get more drinks, stretch, and they served a tray of Chinese food. I didn't have any because I had eaten before and wasn't feeling particularly hungry at that point. It was also a good chance to talk with some of the people you didn't get to talk much with during your 3 minutes. My friend was still talking to her last date, someone I had not yet met, so I went over there, and the first thing my friend says to him is, "Oh this is my friend - she went to Rutgers too." So, this guy was a Rutgers engineering graduate, so we talked about that for a little. He just kept saying that he missed being at New Brunswick and he goes back there almost every weekend. I also talked to my first date (the Irish guy) for a little bit during the break, I think I felt more comfortable talking to him because I already knew more about him.
#12 - Notes: Willsburg. This was my abbreviation for Williamsburg, where he lives. After the break, my 12th date comes to the table with not one, but two drinks in his hand. I look at the two drinks suspiciously, and he says, "well you have to be prepared." He was really nice, and we talked about everything from being a librarian to his work as an animator, to him living in Williamsburg. He looks like he lives in Williamsburg... black plastic glasses, messy hair, selectively mismatched clothing. I probably could have guessed his residence before he told me. Either he did not hear the gong after the 3 minutes were up, or he was having such a good time he didn't want to leave, but the next date was hoovering over his chair and I had to remind this one that he had to move on.
#13 - Notes: Hoboken. This guy was from India, living in Hoboken. His accent though was so strong that I had a hard time understanding "hoboken". He also was wearing colored contacts which was the freakiest thing ever. I don't think I've ever seen a guy with colored contacts on, I have seen many girls with them, and they can look good, but this guy creeped me out with the fake blue eyes. I don't remember what we talked about, I was pretty tired at this point and wouldn't have minded skipping my last 3 dates all together.
#14 - Notes: ER Dr. This guy was old, much older than 30, or at least he looked it. He looked A LOT like the Finnish guy (Date #9) and it was actually kind of hard to tell them apart. Despite having a foreign sounding name, he was American, and just finishing his residency as an ER doctor. He was nice if not a little boring, but it was fine. By this point I felt like I had the same conversation so many times over again, I was boring myself.
#15 - Notes: Rutgers. The guy I had talked to over the break. We talked more about Rutgers and the campus and living in New Brunswick in general. He now lives in Jersey City, but doesn't really like it - and desperately misses New Brunswick. He was originally from India, and we talked about that for a while. There was no real connection, just enough common ground to fill 3 minutes worth of time.
#16 - Notes: None. My last date. This guy was a friend of the Williamsburg guy (date #12), and his friend had bought him the ticket to speed dating for his Christmas present. A strange gift, but maybe he was really lonely. It's been a while since Christmas though... Anyway, we talked about his friend for a bit (who somehow had messed up the rotation, and missed 2 of his dates, and was over by the food, eating). We did the usual talk, where we were each from (he was from LA), what we did for a living, blah blah blah. It was not a bad 3 minutes, but after 16 times, I was just ready to be done.
Finally when it was all over, my friend and I hung out for a bit so I could finish my drink, then headed over to the Life Cafe with her sister to eat dinner and hash out the evening's dates. We agreed on the weirdness of most of the guys, and that the Williamsburg guy had the best energy. I liked him the most of all my dates. I don't know if I will do this again, it was so tiring, but we did we'd go again for free, if the situation arose.
Yesterday, I took my students to the Brooklyn Bridge. The Israeli came with. 6 of my students have now met the Israeli, and it was a bit awkward but it was a really fun trip. On the subway ride back (the Israeli stayed in the city to meet up with his mom and brother), one of my students asked me why I didn't have any kids. I told her I didn't know, and that someday I would. She said to me that I'm going to make a really excellent mother (which was by far the nicest thing a student has ever said to me), and I should have kids soon. I said that I hadn't met the right guy right and when I did, I would have kids. She said, "what about... oh never mind." I replied, "what? what about the Israeli?" I explained that he was going back to Israel very soon, so she said, "Why don't you move to Israeli with him?" I just explained as best I could that I had no interest in moving to Israel, and someday I will meet a guy who lives in America, who I will have kids with. It was the strangest conversation I've ever had with a student, and slightly unnerving. It's amazing how perceptive kids are... and how straight forward.
I have a hard time remember all of the details, but I will do the best I can for each of my dates.
#1 - My notes for this guy were: Ireland. I got to speak with this guy the longest, because he sat down at the table and we started talking before the event officially began. He was nice, foreign (which seemed to be the underlying theme for the night), and seemed like a good guy. It was a good way to start the night.
#2 - Notes: Dr. Brooklyn Heights. So he was a doctor who lived in Brooklyn Heights. Also foreign, from India. I found on this date that it was going to be hard to hear my dates. Yes, they were sitting right across from me, but I was at a table that had another girl sitting directly next to me (with no space in between), so her conversation kept filtering through, and it was just generally loud at this place. So the Dr. from BK Heights was nice, but I had to keep asking him to repeat himself.
#3 - Notes: Financial District. I'm not sure why these are my notes for this guy. I know he lives there now, but it really doesn't tell me much else. I remember that he was from Georgia, and he would have been really cute, except he had this crazy thing going on with his hair. It was straight, and longish parted down the middle and kind of pushed back off his face. It was weird, but other than that, he was probably one of the best looking guys there... which doesn't say too much.
#4 - Notes: dog/beagle/code. I had a hard time remembering this date afterwards when I was hashing out details with my friend. He was her last date, and she thought he was the absolute worst. I'd have to disagree, only because the one after him (my friends 1st date) was by far my worst. So this guy was boring, and clearly older than the age limit (the age of the event was 22-30). He talked about his job which is writing code. I clearly don't know much about that and was bored so I tried to change the subject. I asked him what he does outside of work (which I will clarify that I only asked this as a save question because the worst question all the guys could ask me was "what do you do for fun" because it's such a lame question.), so date #4 told me that he likes to borrow his parents dog, which is a beagle, and take him out in the city and to the park. This date seemed longer than 3 minutes. I was grateful for the gong, but I had no idea what was coming next.
#5 - Notes: surfing/college. The first thing this guy says when he sits down is, "I think you're too old for me." What? I ask him repeat what he just said, just to be sure I heard correctly. Sure enough. I'm too old. Now, I'm right in the middle of the age bracket of the group, so I would have thought this guy would have expected to meet women older than him... being that he was 22. Yes, definitely too young for me. I have a hard time thinking about dating someone who is 25, let alone a 22 year old. I gathered from our conversation that he was not the brightest bulb, and he actually was probably a little bit slow. He talked about how he's in school for engineering (yet, he told my friend something completely different), and that he likes to surf. Whenever I thought 3 minutes should be up, it wasn't. And I just kept thinking that I've been on longer dates than this that were probably just as bad, I can do this... It's just 3 minutes. Finally the host rang the gong, and the longest 3 minutes of my life were over.
#6 - Notes: trucks/? 2nd time. After the last date, anything would have been a welcome relief. This guy sat down, and he was nice enough. He reminded me however a lot of D, physically and in his actions. He told me that he works in transportation because when he was growing up he was obsessed with trucks and trains and things like that. Interesting... It also was his second time doing speed dating. I don't really remember much else about the 3 minutes.
#7 - Notes: none. I did not write a single thing down about this guy. I had a really really hard time hearing him. It turns out, he's from Peru (my friend found this out - not me) and had I known this, I would have had plenty to talk to him about. I couldn't hear a word he said, and he was really awkward and shy. He kept talking down towards the table which made it even worse.
#8 - Notes: Study/. When this guy sat down, he had his paper that he was taking notes on in front of him. He had been talking to a girl before the event began, and on his notes (yes, I looked) he had written "cool chick" and underlined it a few times and drew hearts next to it. He also had the Yes box boldly checked. It was pretty funny, just to see a guy's notes with hearts and stuff drawn on it. We talked pretty much about the psychology of speed dating, and he thinks that most matches come from the very beginning of the night, because after a while you are just exhausted and noone seems appealing. He might be right, the dates did seem wear on you as the night continued. I didn't find out anything about him. That was all we talked about, I think.
#9 - Notes: Finland. When a guy was foreign, I really took to writing down where they were from. This guy was cute, he works for the diplomacy for Finland. He's a political advisor to an ambassador. We talked about Finland and how in the summer it's light 24 hours a day, and in the winter there are months without sunlight at all. I couldn't imagine that. I think that must be the most depressing place to live if there is no sunlight for months at a time. We talked about that for a while, and we talked about teaching some. He was nice, but there was not much of a connection there. An easy 3 minutes, but not someone I'd date again.
#10 - Notes: Concerts. This guy was from Barcelona, and did not speak English very well at all. Besides being hard to hear him, it was hard to understand him even when I could hear him. We ended up talking a lot about concerts and good places to see live music in the city. He must not have been living here for very long, I did ask him... but I couldn't make out his answer, and he had repeated himself so many times prior to that, I couldn't ask him to repeat himself again. So we talked about music and concerts, and he seemed generally clueless about most things musical in the city. From what I could tell, he likes 90s pop rock, and wants to find places that play that type of music live. I told him his best bets were on the LES and in Williamsburg.
#11 - Notes: None. This guy was the last guy before our half-way break. I remember what he looks like. I don't remember what we talked about. Not even a little bit. My friend told me that he was from Russia. I know we didn't talk about that. There was nothing memorable about this guy.
---- Break ---- We had a 15 minute break in which to use the bathroom, get more drinks, stretch, and they served a tray of Chinese food. I didn't have any because I had eaten before and wasn't feeling particularly hungry at that point. It was also a good chance to talk with some of the people you didn't get to talk much with during your 3 minutes. My friend was still talking to her last date, someone I had not yet met, so I went over there, and the first thing my friend says to him is, "Oh this is my friend - she went to Rutgers too." So, this guy was a Rutgers engineering graduate, so we talked about that for a little. He just kept saying that he missed being at New Brunswick and he goes back there almost every weekend. I also talked to my first date (the Irish guy) for a little bit during the break, I think I felt more comfortable talking to him because I already knew more about him.
#12 - Notes: Willsburg. This was my abbreviation for Williamsburg, where he lives. After the break, my 12th date comes to the table with not one, but two drinks in his hand. I look at the two drinks suspiciously, and he says, "well you have to be prepared." He was really nice, and we talked about everything from being a librarian to his work as an animator, to him living in Williamsburg. He looks like he lives in Williamsburg... black plastic glasses, messy hair, selectively mismatched clothing. I probably could have guessed his residence before he told me. Either he did not hear the gong after the 3 minutes were up, or he was having such a good time he didn't want to leave, but the next date was hoovering over his chair and I had to remind this one that he had to move on.
#13 - Notes: Hoboken. This guy was from India, living in Hoboken. His accent though was so strong that I had a hard time understanding "hoboken". He also was wearing colored contacts which was the freakiest thing ever. I don't think I've ever seen a guy with colored contacts on, I have seen many girls with them, and they can look good, but this guy creeped me out with the fake blue eyes. I don't remember what we talked about, I was pretty tired at this point and wouldn't have minded skipping my last 3 dates all together.
#14 - Notes: ER Dr. This guy was old, much older than 30, or at least he looked it. He looked A LOT like the Finnish guy (Date #9) and it was actually kind of hard to tell them apart. Despite having a foreign sounding name, he was American, and just finishing his residency as an ER doctor. He was nice if not a little boring, but it was fine. By this point I felt like I had the same conversation so many times over again, I was boring myself.
#15 - Notes: Rutgers. The guy I had talked to over the break. We talked more about Rutgers and the campus and living in New Brunswick in general. He now lives in Jersey City, but doesn't really like it - and desperately misses New Brunswick. He was originally from India, and we talked about that for a while. There was no real connection, just enough common ground to fill 3 minutes worth of time.
#16 - Notes: None. My last date. This guy was a friend of the Williamsburg guy (date #12), and his friend had bought him the ticket to speed dating for his Christmas present. A strange gift, but maybe he was really lonely. It's been a while since Christmas though... Anyway, we talked about his friend for a bit (who somehow had messed up the rotation, and missed 2 of his dates, and was over by the food, eating). We did the usual talk, where we were each from (he was from LA), what we did for a living, blah blah blah. It was not a bad 3 minutes, but after 16 times, I was just ready to be done.
Finally when it was all over, my friend and I hung out for a bit so I could finish my drink, then headed over to the Life Cafe with her sister to eat dinner and hash out the evening's dates. We agreed on the weirdness of most of the guys, and that the Williamsburg guy had the best energy. I liked him the most of all my dates. I don't know if I will do this again, it was so tiring, but we did we'd go again for free, if the situation arose.
Yesterday, I took my students to the Brooklyn Bridge. The Israeli came with. 6 of my students have now met the Israeli, and it was a bit awkward but it was a really fun trip. On the subway ride back (the Israeli stayed in the city to meet up with his mom and brother), one of my students asked me why I didn't have any kids. I told her I didn't know, and that someday I would. She said to me that I'm going to make a really excellent mother (which was by far the nicest thing a student has ever said to me), and I should have kids soon. I said that I hadn't met the right guy right and when I did, I would have kids. She said, "what about... oh never mind." I replied, "what? what about the Israeli?" I explained that he was going back to Israel very soon, so she said, "Why don't you move to Israeli with him?" I just explained as best I could that I had no interest in moving to Israel, and someday I will meet a guy who lives in America, who I will have kids with. It was the strangest conversation I've ever had with a student, and slightly unnerving. It's amazing how perceptive kids are... and how straight forward.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Interupting Bartender
A date with someone new! It's been so long... and I was feeling anxious with the Israeli leaving so soon. So, I have a few dates in the works, and one that happened last night. I posted an ad on craigslist, and this guy really caught my interest. He wrote a spectacular and unique email, which was so much better than the rest of the emails I got. He was the only one I responded to. We exchanged only 2 emails or so, and decided to meet for a drink last night. I didn't know much about him except that he had a foreign sounding name. I was a little nervous leading up to the date, probably because I've been out of practice for over 3 months.
The date started out fine, we had an awkward encounter as I approached the bar. He was outside smoking a cigarette, which in my opinion is an obvious strike. But I can forgive someone of that if they have enough to offer.
We went into the bar, had a drink, and talked for a while about a lot of things. Books, jobs, where he is from (India), and so forth. It was all going well, until the bartender came over and was like, "Dude, is that your bike (a motorcycle) out there?" My date replied that it was in fact his, and that's where I thought that conversation would end, with maybe a little more detail about the bike given or something, but no... the bartender proceeds to tell us how he used to have a motor-bike when he lived in St. Thomas, and how much fun it was to ride... blah blah blah. He went on for quite a while. After the first interruption, we went back to normal dating conversation. The date was going pretty well, and I was hoping to get to talk more to my date, and not so much the bartender. No such luck. Not long after the first interruption, came another. This time about nothing that was even related to myself or my date. He was just looking to talk to someone, and lucky for us, the bar was relatively empty, so we were his only option for conversation. But I was pretty sure it was apparent that we were on a date. The bartender's girlfriend showed up, and I thought we were in the clear. But no, he introduces us to her, she proceeds to take out a book and read it at the bar, and he keeps on chatting away. At this point, we've had 2 drinks and 3 hours have passed, and I'm pretty ready to get home. What had started out as a good date, was slowly ruined by a bartender who was lonely for some conversation.
All in all, I don't know that I will hear from him again. It was a good date, but I'm pretty sure that this guy is looking for something a little more serious, and I'm looking more to just have fun at this point. He's a good 6 years older than me, and I think looking more along the lines of a wife. (Although I do know that he already has his green card, so at least I know he's not looking for that.) Oh well, he was a nice guy. Cute too. It's a shame.
The date started out fine, we had an awkward encounter as I approached the bar. He was outside smoking a cigarette, which in my opinion is an obvious strike. But I can forgive someone of that if they have enough to offer.
We went into the bar, had a drink, and talked for a while about a lot of things. Books, jobs, where he is from (India), and so forth. It was all going well, until the bartender came over and was like, "Dude, is that your bike (a motorcycle) out there?" My date replied that it was in fact his, and that's where I thought that conversation would end, with maybe a little more detail about the bike given or something, but no... the bartender proceeds to tell us how he used to have a motor-bike when he lived in St. Thomas, and how much fun it was to ride... blah blah blah. He went on for quite a while. After the first interruption, we went back to normal dating conversation. The date was going pretty well, and I was hoping to get to talk more to my date, and not so much the bartender. No such luck. Not long after the first interruption, came another. This time about nothing that was even related to myself or my date. He was just looking to talk to someone, and lucky for us, the bar was relatively empty, so we were his only option for conversation. But I was pretty sure it was apparent that we were on a date. The bartender's girlfriend showed up, and I thought we were in the clear. But no, he introduces us to her, she proceeds to take out a book and read it at the bar, and he keeps on chatting away. At this point, we've had 2 drinks and 3 hours have passed, and I'm pretty ready to get home. What had started out as a good date, was slowly ruined by a bartender who was lonely for some conversation.
All in all, I don't know that I will hear from him again. It was a good date, but I'm pretty sure that this guy is looking for something a little more serious, and I'm looking more to just have fun at this point. He's a good 6 years older than me, and I think looking more along the lines of a wife. (Although I do know that he already has his green card, so at least I know he's not looking for that.) Oh well, he was a nice guy. Cute too. It's a shame.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
The Home Stretch
I'm in the final few weeks of dating the Israeli. His mother and brother are both here, staying at his place. And if nothing else, their arrival has fueled his interest in seeing me, more than it has been in the past 3 months.
Last Monday, I got a text message from the Israeli, it read "Please call me as soon as you can." When I get text messages like that, from people I don't normally get messages from... it freaks me out a bit. I was waiting in the subway station when I checked my message, and since there is no reception down there, I couldn't call him until I was above ground. I worried the entire way home that it was something a lot more serious than it turned out to be. I called him while I was walking home, and sure enough, he just wanted to see what I was doing, and he said he would call me back in a few minutes. A few minutes and 2 hours later, he called and asked me if I wanted to go to Union Hall with him and some of his friends (first time I've been invited out with his friends) and then stay over his place, since his mother was in Syracuse overnight. I had a project that was due on Tuesday, and I had already taken off work Tuesday to get it done, I could not justify going out to his place while I had so much work to do. I told him that, and he said that his mother would not be back until Weds, and if I wanted I could come over Tuesday night when I was finished my paper.
I finished my project around 5ish on Tuesday afternoon. I called the Israeli, but he did not answer. I didn't leave a message, but did not hear back from him at all. Around 7:30 I needed to figure out what I was doing for the rest of the evening, so I called him again. Again, he did not answer, but about 2 minutes after I called I got a text message from him. The text message said that he was at the ballet seeing Romeo and Juliet. He did not mention what time he'd be done, or if we were still seeing each other later. I sent him a text back that said I was going to the gym and to let me know if he still wanted me to come over later. I went to the gym and when I came back around 9:30, I still had not heard from him. I called his home phone around 10, figuring if he wasn't there, I wouldn't leave a message, and he wouldn't know that I called. There was no answer, and I did not leave a message. Around midnight I was irritated that I still had not heard from him. I called his home phone again, much to my surprise, someone answered. It was not the Israeli. In fact, it was a woman with a thick Israeli accent. It was his mom. I did not know what to do, so I did what any person (under the age of 15?) would do in that situation - I hung up. I mean what kind of girl calls a guys apartment after midnight... I didn't want his mom to think I am whatever type of girl that is.
I had a missed call from the Israeli on Weds around 2 - when I am definitely in school, and definitely can not answer my phone. I called him back when I got out of the subway on my way home, and was pretty short with him because I was still irritated from the night before. He asked me if he could spend the night at my place that night. I already had plans to go to the movies with a co-worker, although he could have come over after, I still told him no. I wasn't expecting to hear from him again that night, but he called me around 10:30, just to see what I was doing. I had just gotten home, and was not in the mood to entertain the possibility of him coming over. So I told him I was going to bed, and I'd talk to him tomorrow. The Israeli never calls me multiple days in a row, but this past week was a huge exception. He called me Thursday afternoon, a few times. We talked and decided that he'd stay over my place Friday night. He texted me on Friday, multiple times, telling me his plans, and asking me if he could bring anything over. Very sweet, and completely out of character.
He ended up getting to my place earlier than expected, and I was in the middle of watching a movie with my roommate. He joined us, and was pretty much well behaved for the majority of the movie. He was being very cuddly with me while we watched the movie, with his arm around me, and rubbing my back and neck, kissing me on the head. It was all very PG, and I definitely was receptive (and Ok, maybe even a bit reciprocal) to it. My roommate claims that it was very "boyfriend/girlfriend-y."
After the movie ended, the Israeli talked to my roommate for a while, and she gave him advice on touring NYC by foot and places to take his mom and brother. I'm completely inept in this area and stayed out of this conversation completely. Afterward, the Israeli challenged me to a game of Scrabble. I don't know that I would ever feel confident enough to challenge someone to a game where I wasn't a native speaker and the other person was, apparently the Israeli feels that his English skills are parallel to mine. I'm not one to back down to a challenge, no matter how unbalanced it was. He was the one who claimed that he would "kick my ass", not vice-versa. I just simply countered his challenge with my own. I agree that I had an unfair advantage, but I wasn't the one who put the challenge out in the first place. Needless to say, the game didn't last too long before the Israeli realized he was going to lose by a long shot. I am fairly competent when it comes to Scrabble, it's always been my favorite game, and I don't ever play to lose, to a native English speaker or not.
We decided about half-way through the game that we didn't need to finish the game. He forfeited gracefully, and we got ready for bed. While we were in bed that night, he brought up relationship conversations again. I'm not sure if he's getting anxious because he's leaving so soon, but I feel like we talk about this a lot. He again told me how much he was going to miss me... and as per usual, I laughed. He gets irritated when I laugh, and I understand that, but it's my way of reacting without having to tell him that I'm going to miss him too. Of course I'm going to miss him, and eventually I did end up telling him that, but not until after he called me cold hearted, and accused me of not caring.
We slept in the next morning, and were going to have brunch, but ended up not having enough time. He had to meet his brother and mother at 12:45. He invited me to go to Coney Island with them, but thankfully I already had plans. We walked out together, a kiss goodbye, parting ways for me to go the gym and the Israeli to the subway.
These next few weeks will be interesting to say the least. I have no idea how often or when I will see him. I haven't heard from him, and don't know when I will.
Last Monday, I got a text message from the Israeli, it read "Please call me as soon as you can." When I get text messages like that, from people I don't normally get messages from... it freaks me out a bit. I was waiting in the subway station when I checked my message, and since there is no reception down there, I couldn't call him until I was above ground. I worried the entire way home that it was something a lot more serious than it turned out to be. I called him while I was walking home, and sure enough, he just wanted to see what I was doing, and he said he would call me back in a few minutes. A few minutes and 2 hours later, he called and asked me if I wanted to go to Union Hall with him and some of his friends (first time I've been invited out with his friends) and then stay over his place, since his mother was in Syracuse overnight. I had a project that was due on Tuesday, and I had already taken off work Tuesday to get it done, I could not justify going out to his place while I had so much work to do. I told him that, and he said that his mother would not be back until Weds, and if I wanted I could come over Tuesday night when I was finished my paper.
I finished my project around 5ish on Tuesday afternoon. I called the Israeli, but he did not answer. I didn't leave a message, but did not hear back from him at all. Around 7:30 I needed to figure out what I was doing for the rest of the evening, so I called him again. Again, he did not answer, but about 2 minutes after I called I got a text message from him. The text message said that he was at the ballet seeing Romeo and Juliet. He did not mention what time he'd be done, or if we were still seeing each other later. I sent him a text back that said I was going to the gym and to let me know if he still wanted me to come over later. I went to the gym and when I came back around 9:30, I still had not heard from him. I called his home phone around 10, figuring if he wasn't there, I wouldn't leave a message, and he wouldn't know that I called. There was no answer, and I did not leave a message. Around midnight I was irritated that I still had not heard from him. I called his home phone again, much to my surprise, someone answered. It was not the Israeli. In fact, it was a woman with a thick Israeli accent. It was his mom. I did not know what to do, so I did what any person (under the age of 15?) would do in that situation - I hung up. I mean what kind of girl calls a guys apartment after midnight... I didn't want his mom to think I am whatever type of girl that is.
I had a missed call from the Israeli on Weds around 2 - when I am definitely in school, and definitely can not answer my phone. I called him back when I got out of the subway on my way home, and was pretty short with him because I was still irritated from the night before. He asked me if he could spend the night at my place that night. I already had plans to go to the movies with a co-worker, although he could have come over after, I still told him no. I wasn't expecting to hear from him again that night, but he called me around 10:30, just to see what I was doing. I had just gotten home, and was not in the mood to entertain the possibility of him coming over. So I told him I was going to bed, and I'd talk to him tomorrow. The Israeli never calls me multiple days in a row, but this past week was a huge exception. He called me Thursday afternoon, a few times. We talked and decided that he'd stay over my place Friday night. He texted me on Friday, multiple times, telling me his plans, and asking me if he could bring anything over. Very sweet, and completely out of character.
He ended up getting to my place earlier than expected, and I was in the middle of watching a movie with my roommate. He joined us, and was pretty much well behaved for the majority of the movie. He was being very cuddly with me while we watched the movie, with his arm around me, and rubbing my back and neck, kissing me on the head. It was all very PG, and I definitely was receptive (and Ok, maybe even a bit reciprocal) to it. My roommate claims that it was very "boyfriend/girlfriend-y."
After the movie ended, the Israeli talked to my roommate for a while, and she gave him advice on touring NYC by foot and places to take his mom and brother. I'm completely inept in this area and stayed out of this conversation completely. Afterward, the Israeli challenged me to a game of Scrabble. I don't know that I would ever feel confident enough to challenge someone to a game where I wasn't a native speaker and the other person was, apparently the Israeli feels that his English skills are parallel to mine. I'm not one to back down to a challenge, no matter how unbalanced it was. He was the one who claimed that he would "kick my ass", not vice-versa. I just simply countered his challenge with my own. I agree that I had an unfair advantage, but I wasn't the one who put the challenge out in the first place. Needless to say, the game didn't last too long before the Israeli realized he was going to lose by a long shot. I am fairly competent when it comes to Scrabble, it's always been my favorite game, and I don't ever play to lose, to a native English speaker or not.
We decided about half-way through the game that we didn't need to finish the game. He forfeited gracefully, and we got ready for bed. While we were in bed that night, he brought up relationship conversations again. I'm not sure if he's getting anxious because he's leaving so soon, but I feel like we talk about this a lot. He again told me how much he was going to miss me... and as per usual, I laughed. He gets irritated when I laugh, and I understand that, but it's my way of reacting without having to tell him that I'm going to miss him too. Of course I'm going to miss him, and eventually I did end up telling him that, but not until after he called me cold hearted, and accused me of not caring.
We slept in the next morning, and were going to have brunch, but ended up not having enough time. He had to meet his brother and mother at 12:45. He invited me to go to Coney Island with them, but thankfully I already had plans. We walked out together, a kiss goodbye, parting ways for me to go the gym and the Israeli to the subway.
These next few weeks will be interesting to say the least. I have no idea how often or when I will see him. I haven't heard from him, and don't know when I will.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Avoided
I managed to avoid an uncomfortable run-in with the Israeli and his mom at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden today. We were both there at the same time, but it was so crowded that it was not an issue at all. Maybe I can avoid the whole parental thing while she's here.
I spent the night at the Israeli's on Thursday night. It was the last night we would spend at his apartment, since now his family is here until he is gone. It was a non-descript night, we hung out, watched some tv, went to bed. We talked in bed for a while, but we were both really tired. The thunder and rain woke us up a few times, so I ended up not sleeping very well either. Overall, not eventful. It wasn't sad, I didn't get the same teary upset feeling that I had felt the last time I was there. I guess he'll be spending more time at my place now, or so he says. I don't know how I feel about that.
He leaves May 29th. I know that he's staying here May 28th... I wonder how I will feel then. The end is so near. That weekend will be one year since I started this crazy blog, one year since that awful make-up wearing date... and I'll be right back to where I started.
(*edit - or rather why I should not post while tired/after a few drinks: for those of you who caught my slip in using the Israeli's real name - thanks for the heads up! It has been changed.)
I spent the night at the Israeli's on Thursday night. It was the last night we would spend at his apartment, since now his family is here until he is gone. It was a non-descript night, we hung out, watched some tv, went to bed. We talked in bed for a while, but we were both really tired. The thunder and rain woke us up a few times, so I ended up not sleeping very well either. Overall, not eventful. It wasn't sad, I didn't get the same teary upset feeling that I had felt the last time I was there. I guess he'll be spending more time at my place now, or so he says. I don't know how I feel about that.
He leaves May 29th. I know that he's staying here May 28th... I wonder how I will feel then. The end is so near. That weekend will be one year since I started this crazy blog, one year since that awful make-up wearing date... and I'll be right back to where I started.
(*edit - or rather why I should not post while tired/after a few drinks: for those of you who caught my slip in using the Israeli's real name - thanks for the heads up! It has been changed.)
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Motek
The Israeli called me Monday night, around midnight. I was sleeping and pretty irritable from being woken up. He asked if he had woken me, I mumbled something incoherent, and I think he said he'd call me the next day.
He did. He called around 7:30 on Tuesday. He had just gotten home from work, and was anxious for me to come over. At one point while we were talking on the phone he actually said, ok, I'm getting off the phone because I want you to come over. I was doing some school work, so I took my time getting my stuff together to go to his place. He called me probably about 45 minutes later to ask where I was. Yeah. I was still at home, and really still not in any rush. I finally made it over there around 9 I guess.
The Israeli was very affectionate and cuddly from the moment I got there. We hung out on the couch, watched some basketball, and caught up on the week since we had seen each other last. He reminded me again that his mom is coming on Friday. I know. He tells me every time we talk. My parents are coming to visit on Saturday, and we're going to the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens and Coney Island. The Israeli said that he and his mom were going to be at the Botanic Garden on Saturday too, and maybe we could meet up there. Oh no. That would be awful, and way too boyfriendy. Actually, that's more than boyfriendy. My ex who I dated for over 2 years (and lived with) never had his parents meet my parents. I've never had my parents meet the parents of the guy I'm dating. Ever. That's too much of a serious step, especially for someone who is leaving in a few weeks.... and is NOT my boyfriend. I feel like I need to constantly remind myself of that fact.
After the basketball game was over, we chatted for a bit, ended up in his room... We were going to watch a movie, that never happened. I don't know why, but I felt myself getting kind of weepy/teary a few times during the night. I'm hoping it was just hormonal related emotions, but I think I need to face that I really will miss him once he is gone. We stayed in bed for a while, and it was a great time again. Each time is surprising to me. Around 11:30, we decided to shower and get ready for bed. We're chatting before bed, I was sitting on the couch and he brings me a book that he had ordered but knew that I wanted to read too. He told me I could read it first, which was really sweet. I thanked him, and then he told me that he ordered me something. What? I asked him clarify. He said that he bought me something, a present. I asked him what it was, but he only said it was a surprise and I'd have to wait. Sweet, I'm sure. I'm a little nervous though, and I haven't gotten him anything. I don't even really know when the last time I'll see him will be. I guess I should get him something though, now that I know he got me something. Oh dear.
We were going to sleep, about an hour later, and he says to me Layla Tov - goodnight in Hebrew - which is typical... until he added - Motek (sweetie.) I pretended I didn't know what Motek meant. It's the first time he had used that term with me. It's frustrating because I feel like he's getting more and more affectionate emotionally, as well as physically. And then he's going to leave.
He did. He called around 7:30 on Tuesday. He had just gotten home from work, and was anxious for me to come over. At one point while we were talking on the phone he actually said, ok, I'm getting off the phone because I want you to come over. I was doing some school work, so I took my time getting my stuff together to go to his place. He called me probably about 45 minutes later to ask where I was. Yeah. I was still at home, and really still not in any rush. I finally made it over there around 9 I guess.
The Israeli was very affectionate and cuddly from the moment I got there. We hung out on the couch, watched some basketball, and caught up on the week since we had seen each other last. He reminded me again that his mom is coming on Friday. I know. He tells me every time we talk. My parents are coming to visit on Saturday, and we're going to the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens and Coney Island. The Israeli said that he and his mom were going to be at the Botanic Garden on Saturday too, and maybe we could meet up there. Oh no. That would be awful, and way too boyfriendy. Actually, that's more than boyfriendy. My ex who I dated for over 2 years (and lived with) never had his parents meet my parents. I've never had my parents meet the parents of the guy I'm dating. Ever. That's too much of a serious step, especially for someone who is leaving in a few weeks.... and is NOT my boyfriend. I feel like I need to constantly remind myself of that fact.
After the basketball game was over, we chatted for a bit, ended up in his room... We were going to watch a movie, that never happened. I don't know why, but I felt myself getting kind of weepy/teary a few times during the night. I'm hoping it was just hormonal related emotions, but I think I need to face that I really will miss him once he is gone. We stayed in bed for a while, and it was a great time again. Each time is surprising to me. Around 11:30, we decided to shower and get ready for bed. We're chatting before bed, I was sitting on the couch and he brings me a book that he had ordered but knew that I wanted to read too. He told me I could read it first, which was really sweet. I thanked him, and then he told me that he ordered me something. What? I asked him clarify. He said that he bought me something, a present. I asked him what it was, but he only said it was a surprise and I'd have to wait. Sweet, I'm sure. I'm a little nervous though, and I haven't gotten him anything. I don't even really know when the last time I'll see him will be. I guess I should get him something though, now that I know he got me something. Oh dear.
We were going to sleep, about an hour later, and he says to me Layla Tov - goodnight in Hebrew - which is typical... until he added - Motek (sweetie.) I pretended I didn't know what Motek meant. It's the first time he had used that term with me. It's frustrating because I feel like he's getting more and more affectionate emotionally, as well as physically. And then he's going to leave.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
A week's time
A lot can happen in a week. Unfortunately a lot can not happen as well. It's been a week since I've talked to the Israeli at all. I honestly was surprised when I didn't hear from him at all over last week. I knew he was going to be going away for the weekend this weekend and I wouldn't see him at all, so I thought he would have called me Wednesday or Thursday night.
By 9:30 on Thursday when I still hadn't heard from him, I decided to give him a call. I first tried his home number, but there was no answer there. I didn't leave a message because I didn't want to have to wait for him to call me back... so I called his cell phone after that. He answered and told me he was still at work, and they were getting ready for the weekend presentations, which I understood was pressing. I told him to call me when he left work. I still haven't heard from him. I mean I guess technically this weekend was work for him, but no, that's not an excuse. His mother arrives on Friday and will be staying for a few weeks, I don't really know how much I will see of the Israeli from this point on. It may even be over for all I know. A week's time is long enough to go without hearing from someone to assume that this may not be happening anymore. After 3 months though, I expect that he should tell me.
In other news, for those of you who don't know this already, I will be leaving the city in 4 short months. I plan to continue dating up until the end, so as not to disappoint. Dating season is right around the corner, oh those summer days. Some choose baseball games, beer, and boyfriends... I choose dating, drinking (beer included!), and double headers... ahh, those summer months. Can't wait!
By 9:30 on Thursday when I still hadn't heard from him, I decided to give him a call. I first tried his home number, but there was no answer there. I didn't leave a message because I didn't want to have to wait for him to call me back... so I called his cell phone after that. He answered and told me he was still at work, and they were getting ready for the weekend presentations, which I understood was pressing. I told him to call me when he left work. I still haven't heard from him. I mean I guess technically this weekend was work for him, but no, that's not an excuse. His mother arrives on Friday and will be staying for a few weeks, I don't really know how much I will see of the Israeli from this point on. It may even be over for all I know. A week's time is long enough to go without hearing from someone to assume that this may not be happening anymore. After 3 months though, I expect that he should tell me.
In other news, for those of you who don't know this already, I will be leaving the city in 4 short months. I plan to continue dating up until the end, so as not to disappoint. Dating season is right around the corner, oh those summer days. Some choose baseball games, beer, and boyfriends... I choose dating, drinking (beer included!), and double headers... ahh, those summer months. Can't wait!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Night and Day
Friday night the Israeli invited me over for dinner. At first I had thought I was just going to go over as usual, we'd watch a movie and then go to bed. Our usual evening activities. But he told me that he wanted to make me dinner, and had prepared this amazing meal for when I got there. I haven't had a guy cook dinner for me in over 2 and a half years, when I was living with my ex, and he wasn't really cooking for me (when he did cook), it was essential day to day cooking. The Israeli had prepared for me his "specialty" dish, which was fettuccine with a pesto/alfredo sauce with sun dried tomatoes and chicken, and there was a salad of tomatoes, carrots, pine nuts, basil, and feta cheese in olive oil. I brought a bottle of wine. I helped him with the salad when I first got there, and we sat down to my first boy-cooked meal in a very long time. I was so impressed. I could tell he was trying really hard to make a good impression, and he succeeded. He mentioned again about me meeting his mom when she arrives in 2 weeks. It makes me really nervous, and I'm not sure why I would want to, it's kind of awkward. I'm not his girlfriend. So how do you introduce someone like that to your mother who is visiting? This is the girl I've been sleeping with for the past 3 months? I'm not so uncomfortable about meeting his brother who is coming to stay a week later than his mother. They are both staying for an extended time though. His mother is staying for a month, although she will be traveling to other places during that time: Boston, Chicago, etc. His brother is staying for 2 months, but they are traveling to the west coast when the Israeli is done work at the end of May.
The rest of the night was great. After dinner, the Israeli took out some strawberries and grapes, for dessert, but that didn't happen right away. We spent a few hours making out and eventually got back to the fruit, and a movie. We watched Children of Men, and then he was playing more music for me to hear. I was so tired though, it was probably only 1:30, but I was exhausted. I ended up falling asleep on his shoulder on the couch while he was playing with his music. We went to bed not long after that, and he was very cuddly, wanting to hold me, etc. It's all very nice, but I have to keep reminding myself that he is not my boyfriend. At night I need to remind myself of this, in the morning, it's pretty evident. He is 10x less affectionate in the morning, consistently than he is at night. After he gets out of bed in the morning, it's like a totally different person. With the exception of a kiss goodbye usually, once we are out of bed in the morning, there is little to no affection displayed. I'm fine with that, and it helps me when I go home to not be overly expectant of anything to come with him. It's hard when there are such extremes, it's literally the difference between night and day.
The rest of the night was great. After dinner, the Israeli took out some strawberries and grapes, for dessert, but that didn't happen right away. We spent a few hours making out and eventually got back to the fruit, and a movie. We watched Children of Men, and then he was playing more music for me to hear. I was so tired though, it was probably only 1:30, but I was exhausted. I ended up falling asleep on his shoulder on the couch while he was playing with his music. We went to bed not long after that, and he was very cuddly, wanting to hold me, etc. It's all very nice, but I have to keep reminding myself that he is not my boyfriend. At night I need to remind myself of this, in the morning, it's pretty evident. He is 10x less affectionate in the morning, consistently than he is at night. After he gets out of bed in the morning, it's like a totally different person. With the exception of a kiss goodbye usually, once we are out of bed in the morning, there is little to no affection displayed. I'm fine with that, and it helps me when I go home to not be overly expectant of anything to come with him. It's hard when there are such extremes, it's literally the difference between night and day.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Not Mine
So one of the good things about having a dating blog is that it really opens people up to telling you about their bad dates. The following story was told to me by a friend at dinner on Tuesday night. We were at dinner, and the topic turns to dating, the Israeli, my blog... and my one friend turns to the other and says, "You have to tell her the story about the Q-tip guy." Q-tip guy... I'm already intrigued. The date itself happened years ago, and the friend is now happily engaged (so there is hope that after all these bad dates there will be a good one somewhere down the line??). This is her story. It was way too classic not to post (with her permission of course!)
and so without further ado...
The Q-Tip
So this girl, we'll call her A for the sake of the story, was on her 4th date with this guy. He invited A over for dinner, which he was going to prepare. He opens the door wearing a sparkly shirt and shoes. (I'm pretty sure he was wearing pants too, but they weren't worth mentioning... must not have been sparkly enough.) He was a DJ, and apparently had just gotten home from DJing a high school dance. I think he was just dressing to impress, I mean if diamonds are a girl's best friend, sparkly shirts must run a close second. As for dinner, now, he was a few years her senior, and should have had this cooking thing down by then, I would think. But you know, some bachelors rely solely on microwave ovens and take out, and barely know how to boil water. If he needed a little help, that's ok. While he cooked dinner, he proceeded to call his mom on the phone multiple times, (my assumption was to ask for cooking assistance??) but whatever the case may be, the meal did not turn out in his favor. Atrocious may have been the word A used to describe it.
After this really bad meal, he then tells A that he feels sweaty (from cooking? DJing? or maybe the sparkly shirt retains a lot of heat and moisture - part shirt, part greenhouse) and he wants to take a shower. He tells her that she can check her email or go online while he's in there. A little awkward for a 4th date to be left alone under such circumstances. While he's in the shower he calls out for A and asks her if she can bring him some shampoo that's in his hall closet. A goes over, maybe expecting your typical boy shampoo selection. Not for sparkly shirt guy! Of course not, A has the choice of sun-ripened raspberry, peach, and many other Bath and Bodyworks shampoo selections. (This was weird enough - at this point her date was running close to my make-up wearing date which initiated the blog. As this dawned on me, I realized that we hadn't even gotten to any Q-tip action yet!) The sparkly shirt guy (sans shirt) emerges from the shower wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist. He proceeds to walk back and forth in front of where A was sitting, with his towel (and his man-bits) flapping openly for all the world to see.
It could have ended there. It would still have been a horrendous date. But it does not end there. He comes over to A, still dressed only in a towel, and a single Q-tip in hand. While talking to A, he proceeds to clean one ear first, then puts the Q-tip in his mouth and sucks on the end that has just been inside his ear (I wish I could demonstrate through words the actual visual movements that went along with this) and then puts the Q-tip into his other ear and repeats the process several times. I am as skeptical as the next, so of course I ask A: When you say he sucked on the Q-tip... To which A replied: No, he SUCKED on the Q-tip, like a lollipop, like he had never sucked before. From there, I have no idea if she ran out of there screaming, made up an excuse, or climbed out the bathroom window, but she should have high-tailed it out of there pronto.
The story of A and the Q-tip ends there, and even though it's not my own dating disaster, it certainly was a date worth documenting.
and so without further ado...
The Q-Tip
So this girl, we'll call her A for the sake of the story, was on her 4th date with this guy. He invited A over for dinner, which he was going to prepare. He opens the door wearing a sparkly shirt and shoes. (I'm pretty sure he was wearing pants too, but they weren't worth mentioning... must not have been sparkly enough.) He was a DJ, and apparently had just gotten home from DJing a high school dance. I think he was just dressing to impress, I mean if diamonds are a girl's best friend, sparkly shirts must run a close second. As for dinner, now, he was a few years her senior, and should have had this cooking thing down by then, I would think. But you know, some bachelors rely solely on microwave ovens and take out, and barely know how to boil water. If he needed a little help, that's ok. While he cooked dinner, he proceeded to call his mom on the phone multiple times, (my assumption was to ask for cooking assistance??) but whatever the case may be, the meal did not turn out in his favor. Atrocious may have been the word A used to describe it.
After this really bad meal, he then tells A that he feels sweaty (from cooking? DJing? or maybe the sparkly shirt retains a lot of heat and moisture - part shirt, part greenhouse) and he wants to take a shower. He tells her that she can check her email or go online while he's in there. A little awkward for a 4th date to be left alone under such circumstances. While he's in the shower he calls out for A and asks her if she can bring him some shampoo that's in his hall closet. A goes over, maybe expecting your typical boy shampoo selection. Not for sparkly shirt guy! Of course not, A has the choice of sun-ripened raspberry, peach, and many other Bath and Bodyworks shampoo selections. (This was weird enough - at this point her date was running close to my make-up wearing date which initiated the blog. As this dawned on me, I realized that we hadn't even gotten to any Q-tip action yet!) The sparkly shirt guy (sans shirt) emerges from the shower wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist. He proceeds to walk back and forth in front of where A was sitting, with his towel (and his man-bits) flapping openly for all the world to see.
It could have ended there. It would still have been a horrendous date. But it does not end there. He comes over to A, still dressed only in a towel, and a single Q-tip in hand. While talking to A, he proceeds to clean one ear first, then puts the Q-tip in his mouth and sucks on the end that has just been inside his ear (I wish I could demonstrate through words the actual visual movements that went along with this) and then puts the Q-tip into his other ear and repeats the process several times. I am as skeptical as the next, so of course I ask A: When you say he sucked on the Q-tip... To which A replied: No, he SUCKED on the Q-tip, like a lollipop, like he had never sucked before. From there, I have no idea if she ran out of there screaming, made up an excuse, or climbed out the bathroom window, but she should have high-tailed it out of there pronto.
The story of A and the Q-tip ends there, and even though it's not my own dating disaster, it certainly was a date worth documenting.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Three men walked into a restaurant...
an Israeli, and orthodox Jew, and a Catholic. Sounds like a set up for a joke, but really it was just my night last night.
So, it's been a while and I did see the Israeli Thursday night, which I failed to write about, mainly because there is absolutely nothing to say. He got back from San Francisco on Weds, and called me to see if I was home. I had decided to stay at my parents for one more night, and came back to Brooklyn on Thursday. He went on a hike on Thursday, and originally told me he was too tired for me to come over. He changed his mind around 10, and as usual, I went over. We made out, watched a movie and went to bed. I mentioned that on Saturday I was going to see the Vagina Monologues in Jersey, and the Israeli really wanted to come with. I was a little surprised because it just didn't seem like his thing, and I asked him multiple times if he was absolutely sure he wanted to come. He insisted that he did. So, I reserved an extra ticket, but with some definite reservation. I didn't really want him to come. I have only had bad experiences with the Israeli in public, and I didn't really think I want to introduce him to 2 of my best friends. I was really worried what they would think, especially because one of them (ahem.. Debbie...) has made it perfectly clear that she did not approve of my dating the Israeli.
Saturday was a bit of a blur in the morning/afternoon. I slept in, but woke up with an excruciating headache. After doing nothing for a few hours and feeling pretty bad because of the headache, I decided to take a nap. The Israeli called me during that time to see what time I was going to pick him up for the show, and if I had been feeling better or more awake, I may have asked him to come to my apartment and we'd drive from there, because that just made more sense. Afterward, I ended up going to the gym fairly late in the afternoon, and didn't get back to my apartment until almost 5:45. I should have been at the Israeli's to pick him up at 6:30 to make it to NJ on time. I didn't end up LEAVING my apartment until 6:45 (again, why it would have been beneficial to have him come here), and didn't get to the Israeli's until almost 7:30. The show started at 8. I was freaking out because it was a small theater, and I knew it would be terrible to walk in late because it's a theater in the round, so everyone can see if you walk in late and you're practically sitting on the stage. I was pretty snippy with the Israeli when I picked him up because I was stressed beyond belief, and sped the entire way down through Brooklyn to Jersey. We made it to the theater only 5 minutes late, and only missed the introduction to the show (sorry Deb!!). It was a really good show, and it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it was going to be, with the Israeli. I mean I doubt any of the guys I have dated have been subjected to an entire night of nothing but talking about vaginas, especially with one of my best friends. But the Israeli really did seem to enjoy it, and in the end, I'm really glad he came. After the show, I introduced him to my friend and her fiance, and a little bit later to Debbie and the guy she is dating.
I was so nervous about him meeting my friends. Because he was such a tool at the dinner party, or maybe it was just my irritation with him that night, but I was worried there was going to be a repeat of that with my friends. Surprisingly, he was not as bad. It was the first time we had been out in public that I didn't feel like I wanted to hide behind something every time he spoke. He got along very well with my friends, and the six of us went out to eat at the diner after the show. It was a nice setting, and everyone seemed to get along very well. (It was the first time any of us had met Debbie's guy as well.) It might have been a recipe for disaster, a secular Israeli, an orthodox Jew, and a Catholic. 3 very different guys, but somehow it worked better than any of our previous attempts at double/triple dating. It was all very easy and comfortable, and everyone seemed to get along very well. The Israeli was definitely playing the part of my boyfriend last night. It was so strange, but it worked. Debbie and the Israeli had a great debate (argument?) on why Debbie thinks Israeli men suck, and no one should date them. Very amusing.
On our way back to Brooklyn, our conversations and the ease I felt around the Israeli was probably the best since our very early dates before he told me he was going back early. He asked me why Debbie didn't like him before she had met him. Besides being Israeli, I explained as best I could about how she didn't like the whole 4 months "wanting to see the world" analogy, and the half-open relationship. He said, yeah, but we decided we weren't going to do that. We did? I don't remember deciding against that? I thought we were free to date other people as long as we weren't sleeping with anyone else. Apparently we never agreed on that and I guess the whole time I was dating the acupuncturist, I was cheating on the Israeli? I don't know about that, but I figure what he doesn't know won't hurt him. I didn't sleep with the acupuncturist, so I didn't break any rules that I thought we had set. Yikes.
We had a nice night back at his apartment, really reminiscent of the first and second night I spent there. He played me all this foreign music, and we just sat on his couch together until it was really late. It was really surprising, I had pretty much written all nights like those off once he told me he was leaving. We didn't really talk more about what we were, because I still don't think that has changed. After our nondescript evening on Thursday I had begun to question why I was still wasting my time with him anymore, last night reminded me of what had been there in the beginning. It makes me happy and sad, because detaching myself from the situation made me not care so much when I thought about him leaving, but it's nice to feel good when I am with him. His mom is coming to stay with him on the 26th, and his brother comes in the middle of May. He has mentioned many times that he wants me to meet them, but I'm not sure how I feel about that.
So, it's been a while and I did see the Israeli Thursday night, which I failed to write about, mainly because there is absolutely nothing to say. He got back from San Francisco on Weds, and called me to see if I was home. I had decided to stay at my parents for one more night, and came back to Brooklyn on Thursday. He went on a hike on Thursday, and originally told me he was too tired for me to come over. He changed his mind around 10, and as usual, I went over. We made out, watched a movie and went to bed. I mentioned that on Saturday I was going to see the Vagina Monologues in Jersey, and the Israeli really wanted to come with. I was a little surprised because it just didn't seem like his thing, and I asked him multiple times if he was absolutely sure he wanted to come. He insisted that he did. So, I reserved an extra ticket, but with some definite reservation. I didn't really want him to come. I have only had bad experiences with the Israeli in public, and I didn't really think I want to introduce him to 2 of my best friends. I was really worried what they would think, especially because one of them (ahem.. Debbie...) has made it perfectly clear that she did not approve of my dating the Israeli.
Saturday was a bit of a blur in the morning/afternoon. I slept in, but woke up with an excruciating headache. After doing nothing for a few hours and feeling pretty bad because of the headache, I decided to take a nap. The Israeli called me during that time to see what time I was going to pick him up for the show, and if I had been feeling better or more awake, I may have asked him to come to my apartment and we'd drive from there, because that just made more sense. Afterward, I ended up going to the gym fairly late in the afternoon, and didn't get back to my apartment until almost 5:45. I should have been at the Israeli's to pick him up at 6:30 to make it to NJ on time. I didn't end up LEAVING my apartment until 6:45 (again, why it would have been beneficial to have him come here), and didn't get to the Israeli's until almost 7:30. The show started at 8. I was freaking out because it was a small theater, and I knew it would be terrible to walk in late because it's a theater in the round, so everyone can see if you walk in late and you're practically sitting on the stage. I was pretty snippy with the Israeli when I picked him up because I was stressed beyond belief, and sped the entire way down through Brooklyn to Jersey. We made it to the theater only 5 minutes late, and only missed the introduction to the show (sorry Deb!!). It was a really good show, and it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it was going to be, with the Israeli. I mean I doubt any of the guys I have dated have been subjected to an entire night of nothing but talking about vaginas, especially with one of my best friends. But the Israeli really did seem to enjoy it, and in the end, I'm really glad he came. After the show, I introduced him to my friend and her fiance, and a little bit later to Debbie and the guy she is dating.
I was so nervous about him meeting my friends. Because he was such a tool at the dinner party, or maybe it was just my irritation with him that night, but I was worried there was going to be a repeat of that with my friends. Surprisingly, he was not as bad. It was the first time we had been out in public that I didn't feel like I wanted to hide behind something every time he spoke. He got along very well with my friends, and the six of us went out to eat at the diner after the show. It was a nice setting, and everyone seemed to get along very well. (It was the first time any of us had met Debbie's guy as well.) It might have been a recipe for disaster, a secular Israeli, an orthodox Jew, and a Catholic. 3 very different guys, but somehow it worked better than any of our previous attempts at double/triple dating. It was all very easy and comfortable, and everyone seemed to get along very well. The Israeli was definitely playing the part of my boyfriend last night. It was so strange, but it worked. Debbie and the Israeli had a great debate (argument?) on why Debbie thinks Israeli men suck, and no one should date them. Very amusing.
On our way back to Brooklyn, our conversations and the ease I felt around the Israeli was probably the best since our very early dates before he told me he was going back early. He asked me why Debbie didn't like him before she had met him. Besides being Israeli, I explained as best I could about how she didn't like the whole 4 months "wanting to see the world" analogy, and the half-open relationship. He said, yeah, but we decided we weren't going to do that. We did? I don't remember deciding against that? I thought we were free to date other people as long as we weren't sleeping with anyone else. Apparently we never agreed on that and I guess the whole time I was dating the acupuncturist, I was cheating on the Israeli? I don't know about that, but I figure what he doesn't know won't hurt him. I didn't sleep with the acupuncturist, so I didn't break any rules that I thought we had set. Yikes.
We had a nice night back at his apartment, really reminiscent of the first and second night I spent there. He played me all this foreign music, and we just sat on his couch together until it was really late. It was really surprising, I had pretty much written all nights like those off once he told me he was leaving. We didn't really talk more about what we were, because I still don't think that has changed. After our nondescript evening on Thursday I had begun to question why I was still wasting my time with him anymore, last night reminded me of what had been there in the beginning. It makes me happy and sad, because detaching myself from the situation made me not care so much when I thought about him leaving, but it's nice to feel good when I am with him. His mom is coming to stay with him on the 26th, and his brother comes in the middle of May. He has mentioned many times that he wants me to meet them, but I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Monday, April 02, 2007
The Other Team
In honor of it being April Fool's Day and all, I thought I'd give it a try and see what it's like to play for the other team. Sort of.
I went to brunch this afternoon with my uncle and his wife (I have a hard time referring to her as my aunt, even though she has been for 14 years, she's not really the aunt type... and if you know her, you understand - but for the sake of the post, that is what she will be - my aunt.) at a very cool bar in Philly with a great Sunday brunch. The only catch? It's a lesbian bar. I had never been to a lesbian bar before (on edit - that's not true - the bar I went to on my Not For Tourists date with T was a lesbian bar - although I didn't know that at the time and it was a mixed crowd that night due to the event), so I didn't really know what to expect.
It was surprisingly a pretty mixed crowd at first, a lot of lesbians - yes, everyone who worked there was - but a lot of men, couples (mixed - men and men, women and women, men and women), groups of friends (sexual orientation unknown), and my uncle, aunt, and myself. We sat at the bar, and talked to the bartender, who my aunt and uncle have known for quite some time. Apparently there is a topless picture of her on their fridge, or something like that, I don't think I ever noticed it and if I did, it did not leave a very lasting impression on me. Oh well. Anyway, she was funny in a sassy bartender type of way. She looked like any hipster you'd see in Brooklyn, as did most of the girls who worked there. There is the same kind of drama in lesbian couples as there are in straight couples. The bartender is dating the owner of the bar, all the girls who worked there seemed to have girlfriends, and the bartender had no problem dishing all of their secrets to me, my aunt, and my uncle. There was one girl who was working there, who kept watching me, and I have to say... if I were interested in girls that way... I'd probably have been very interested in her. It's a shame I'm not, maybe I would have had something more interesting to post here. All in all, we just exchanged a few glances across the bar, I caught her looking at me more times than I would consider normal (although there weren't THAT many people in the bar to look at anyway...), and it was kind of exciting for an hour or so. We stayed at the bar for a few hours, the brunch was delicious. And the next time I am home, I will definitely go back.
It was a strange feeling, being excited that a girl was checking me out. I am pretty secure in my own sexuality, and I know that I definitely like men, but for the few hours while I was there, I have to admit there were some moments that a few thoughts ran through my head and I thought - why the hell not? Unfortunately, when it comes down to it.... I'm just not attracted to women, no matter how attractive of a woman she was.
I went to brunch this afternoon with my uncle and his wife (I have a hard time referring to her as my aunt, even though she has been for 14 years, she's not really the aunt type... and if you know her, you understand - but for the sake of the post, that is what she will be - my aunt.) at a very cool bar in Philly with a great Sunday brunch. The only catch? It's a lesbian bar. I had never been to a lesbian bar before (on edit - that's not true - the bar I went to on my Not For Tourists date with T was a lesbian bar - although I didn't know that at the time and it was a mixed crowd that night due to the event), so I didn't really know what to expect.
It was surprisingly a pretty mixed crowd at first, a lot of lesbians - yes, everyone who worked there was - but a lot of men, couples (mixed - men and men, women and women, men and women), groups of friends (sexual orientation unknown), and my uncle, aunt, and myself. We sat at the bar, and talked to the bartender, who my aunt and uncle have known for quite some time. Apparently there is a topless picture of her on their fridge, or something like that, I don't think I ever noticed it and if I did, it did not leave a very lasting impression on me. Oh well. Anyway, she was funny in a sassy bartender type of way. She looked like any hipster you'd see in Brooklyn, as did most of the girls who worked there. There is the same kind of drama in lesbian couples as there are in straight couples. The bartender is dating the owner of the bar, all the girls who worked there seemed to have girlfriends, and the bartender had no problem dishing all of their secrets to me, my aunt, and my uncle. There was one girl who was working there, who kept watching me, and I have to say... if I were interested in girls that way... I'd probably have been very interested in her. It's a shame I'm not, maybe I would have had something more interesting to post here. All in all, we just exchanged a few glances across the bar, I caught her looking at me more times than I would consider normal (although there weren't THAT many people in the bar to look at anyway...), and it was kind of exciting for an hour or so. We stayed at the bar for a few hours, the brunch was delicious. And the next time I am home, I will definitely go back.
It was a strange feeling, being excited that a girl was checking me out. I am pretty secure in my own sexuality, and I know that I definitely like men, but for the few hours while I was there, I have to admit there were some moments that a few thoughts ran through my head and I thought - why the hell not? Unfortunately, when it comes down to it.... I'm just not attracted to women, no matter how attractive of a woman she was.
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