Party People

I don't know how to write this without offending my best friend (or rather - offending her friends), but I have to do this Jdate party justice. Last Saturday I had plans to go to a Jdate party with Debbie. Saturday turned into a busy day of dinner plans, then going to a friend's bar to pick up cupcakes for a picnic the next day, then dropping off the cupcakes at another friend's apartment (so I don't have to cart 21 cupcakes from the UES to the UWS back to Brooklyn and then back to the UWS - instead they just went from the UES to the UWS.) Anyway, when I brought the cupcakes over to my friends apartment to leave them there overnight, I somehow managed to talk her into coming to this Jdate party with me. I failed to mention to her that there would not be the coolest people there, nor anyone she might be interested in dating - because then why would she come with me? I also failed to tell her that there was a $5 cover to get in, and no drink specials... So I paid her cover - what a good friend I am. Ha.

We walk in, and she's already not happy. She turns to me and says, "You've got to be kidding me." I laugh and just push her through the crowd of middle aged Jewish online daters. I noticed that the guy I went on the Dim Sum date with last summer was definitely there, and I made a point to not recognize him.

My friend and I are standing at the bar waiting to get drinks, when a guy gets on the microphone to make an announcement about someone but clearly does not use a normal name, it's some kind of code name. I turn to my friend and say, "oh I forgot to tell you... they refer to everyone here by their jdate names." My friend's response can only be described as a look that was meant to say, "I'm going to kill you for this." I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders, and continued to drink my (overpriced and bad) wine. There also was a guy (and I only know he's a guy because Debbie told me so) video taping the entire thing, and he is easily the most androgynous person I've ever seen. It was creepy and definitely disturbing to think there might be proof that we were at that party! There were lots of couples there, making out or groovin' on the dance floor. My friend turns to me and says, this reminds me of how my grandma always told me there's a match for everyone. I agree, my grandfather always told me "there's a lid for every pot." This party confirmed these ideals for me.

We danced for a little bit (only when the video camera was focused somewhere else), and got the DJ to play Walk it Out (in honor of our last days in Bed-Stuy), which was quite possibly the only saving grace of the evening. After being there for probably less than an hour, we left.

When my friend was describing the party at the picnic the next day, she could not find the words to describe it as accurately as she would like. She just kept saying that it was 10x worse than she could have imagined. I didn't feel like this really did the party justice, or accurately described it. I did my best by describing it as such: When you're on an online dating site, there are still people who say to you, why are YOU dating online, I mean, YOU'RE not desperate. No one ever said that to these people. These people (with the exception of Debbie and a few of her more normal friends...) are the type of people that online dating was MADE for.

Appearance wise... there were a lot of short, balding jewish men and a lot jewish girls with large boobs prominently displayed all over the place. There was plenty of booty shaking, bumpin' and grindin', the kind of dancing that should not be done by people with all the elements working against them - be it height, weight, hair loss, gravity - it was NOT a pretty sight. But I was a few drinks deep, and didn't really care. If it makes them happy - so be it. These party people know how to get down and dirty, who am I care?

It was fun. Almost.