Be My Valentine.

Happy Valentine's Day to all! I'm so glad today is over, however it was amusing for so many reasons. Besides all the candy and cards students obsess over, Valentine's Day makes students wonder about their teachers' love lives and my 5th period class is way more perceptive than I give them credit for. They were writing Valentine's similes and metaphors as their daily warm up activity, and out of nowhere, the following occurred:

In order to understand today's story I need to flashback to last Thursday's detention with Student M. (There were 3 students total at one point, but at this point he was the only one left)
Student M: Miss B, you're not married are you?
Me: No M, but thanks for asking.
M: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: (feeling slightly uncomfortable) Um, I'm not going to answer that question M, it's time for you to go now anyway.
M: You know, everyone in the class says you like that guy.
Me: What guy? (knowing he's talking about my school crush)
M: You know, the one who brings in the boxes all the time.
Me: I have no idea who you are talking about M, but thanks for telling me.

Today, during the daily 10 minute warm-up, prior to this, the class is silently working:
Student T: You know Miss B, you should date that guy.
Me: T, what are you talking about? And you should be doing your work, not worrying about me.
T: You know the one, with the dark hair.
Student M: Yeah! That's the one I was talking about the other day!
Me: I don't know who you're talking about.
Chorus of many students: You know the one, who brings in the stuff, no he has gray hair, he's old, she already has a boyfriend, no she doesn't! He always comes in, you know him!
Me: (realizing this is going to be problematic) Guys! Enough! I don't know who you are talking about, but really right now, I need you to be focused on your work.
Student D: You do know him, he's the one that always brings in these (holds up the weekly reader that yes, my crush does deliver to my room often).
At this point it would be pointless for me to pretend I didn't know who they were talking about, so I had to play it off as cool as I could...
Me: Oh, you mean my supervisor? (Hoping the word supervisor would mean something more to them than it did!) No... he's my boss, and... (here's where I got stuck..) and, well, no.
Student T: (not backing down) Why don't you go out with him? He's kind of cute. Don't you think?
Me: (turning BEAT RED): T, we are not talking about this. You NEED to do your work.
Chorus: She's BLUSHING. Oh my god! She likes him! Look! She's turning red!!
Me: (Feeling there was no way to properly end this at this point) I am turning red, because this conversation is making me uncomfortable, and it will stop, NOW.

The conversation however continued when my co-worker came over into my room, and I made them repeat what they had told me and got things started again. I somehow managed to mislead them enough to convince them that I did in fact have a boyfriend and was not interested in my crush because he has gray hair (For only 32, he does look a considerable amount older than he is, the graying hair doesn't help). I'm not sure how that whole conversation went. All I know is there was very little Language Arts going on today during 5th period. And I'm praying that he doesn't stop in tomorrow during 5th, like he usually does.