Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Standards.

I had every intention of posting this last night... but I didn't get home until almost 1am, and sleep seemed to be the front runner in terms of my priorities.

So last night was my 3rd date with WAG, and it continues to go well. Briefly, dinner and then we went to his place where we made out. I was out way past the time I had planned, but today I managed to get by on just a few hours of sleep. I had that post-good date glow to hold me over. However, I'm not getting my hopes or expectations very high on this one. I had 3 really good dates with The Chin before he bailed... so there's still chance that this one could sour before it goes much further. Although, I have the feeling if this one is going to end it will be on my account, not his. But, I'm enjoying this a lot so far, however that's not without reservation.

When you've dated as much as I have (and let's be honest, I've dated my fair share), it comes with its lot of baggage and hang-ups from previous relationships/dates/interactions/what-have-you. I've also set a lot of standards for myself and what I want in a guy who dates. I've mentioned some of them here before, but just to recap... what I think (and notice I say think because I've never dated my ideal guy, so I'm not sure) I'd like in the guy I eventually end up with:
  1. College Degree - Bachelor's is really the minimum, I'm much more attracted to graduate degrees. Actually, I'm attracted to intelligence, but I really think a college education is important.
  2. Jewish - this is more for my family (parents and grandparents), I feel a lot of pressure from them actually to marry someone who is Jewish. More than once, both of my grandmothers, and my parents have mentioned that I'm their "only hope" for having a grandchild/child marry someone Jewish. Nothing like pressure. All I really care is that I'm able to raise my (hypothetical) children Jewish.
  3. A reader - Ok, so this is me being really picky. I really like to date guys who read. I know I've mentioned this one before and I'm not sure why this one is so important to me. I know a lot of people who are avid readers and are with people who don't read. My parents are a classic example of this. My mom likes to read all the time, and when she has the time, she reads a lot. My dad however, if I ever saw him pick up a book to read, it would be the first time in my 27 years. They've been together for over 40 years, married for 35. So clearly my need for a reader is not a necessity, but it's something I've always wanted to share with someone. I remember my early days with the Israeli that we spent reading together, lazy Sunday mornings, it was my idea of a perfect morning.
So those are my top 3. Let's see how WAG measures up...
1. Bachelor's Degree - no. He has his Associates... But surprisingly to myself, I'm more ok with this than I thought. He has a decent job which he really seems to like. He's plenty ambitious, and seems to know what he wants. He's smart and we have good conversation... So I guess this first one doesn't really matter (especially when I went out with guy who is finishing his masters on Monday and nearly died of boredom... sometimes education isn't everything)!
2. Jewish - no. He was raised Methodist... but apparently hasn't been to any kind of service since he was really little. We haven't talked about kids, so that one will have to wait for a later discussion to see how he wants to raise his little ones. (Although he did mention something about a Christmas tree for his future kids and family, but I'm ok with that. I always wanted a Christmas tree, anyway.)
3. Reader - no. This one broke my heart. Over dinner last night we got to talking about reading. And WAG tells me that in his entire life he remembers reading ONE book cover to cover. And it was in the 5th grade. I almost fell off my seat. Even my friends who are not readers (ehm, Debbie...) have read more than ONE book in their life. I was literally dumbfounded. I can't imagine how one person could get through years of school and have only read one book cover to cover. I flat out told him over dinner that I could not date a non reader. I tried to explain how I felt, and he was pretty cool with me telling him that straight out. He says that he wants to try to read, which I think is adorable. I told him that I like to read aloud to people, and he seemed to like that idea of me reading to him. He really does seem genuinely interested in giving reading a try. I have to give him credit for that.

So, he doesn't meet the top three criteria, but I have a really good time when I'm with him, and I really like spending time with him. So maybe all those things are superficial when it comes to building a connection with someone, and I should toss preconceived notions and see where this one goes.

2 comments:

Debbie said...

Teehee...I appreciate the "shout out"! Yes, as illiterate as I am, I have read more than one book ;o) Maybe you should read to ME! Pleaaassseeee?

Anonymous said...

Debbie can read?!?!?