Wednesday, December 05, 2007

In Memorium

So, CK came back from China on Monday night, and texted me to let me know he was home. I sent him a message back when I got up in the morning on Tuesday, welcoming him home. He sent me a text later and said he would give me a call later on. He didn't end up calling due to staying at work late and jet lag. But he did text me, which was fine because there was a lot of drama at my house that night anyway and talking would be bad. He said he'd call me today, so I was expecting sometime in the early evening/night.

As of today, it's been 14 days since we've had a conversation. I got a voicemail while I was at school today, and thought that maybe it was my friend in Peru. I was a little surprised when it was CK. The message started out normal telling me that he had a good trip, but then he started sounding really upset, and said his day wasn't going so well. He then proceeds to tell me that his cat is very sick, and doesn't know if he's going to make it. He said that he wanted me know because he knows how much the cat liked me. I'm not sure what I was supposed to do after getting the message, I was still at school. But I knew I couldn't just ignore it. This was the first I heard anything from him in 2 weeks, I was definitely flustered by this one. I don't think that we're close enough yet for him to be calling me upset when his cat is sick. I am glad that he did, but I still didn't know what to do about it. Before I could even decide what to do, I got a text message from him saying that his cat had died. I knew how upset he must have felt, and I didn't really know what to do. I sent him a text message telling him how sorry I was and knew how much his cat meant to him. Also that if he wanted some company, I'd be around. This was an honest text, I was genuinely upset for him. His cat was great, he loved me for some reason, was always curled up on me, let me hold him. I'm not much of a cat person, but this one was sweet. So, I was upset for him really because I knew that he was going to be devastated, and also a little disappointed because I knew this is definitely going to play a factor in the next few weeks (months?) that we hang out. Selfish of me, I know.

He responded that he was going to stay at his parents' house, but we'd hang out later in the week. I called him on my way home from work, just to check in with him, and tell him how really sorry I was. He was audibly upset on the phone, but we talked for a good hour. I forgot how easy the conversation with him comes. We really do have a lot in common, and a lot to talk about. He talked a bit about his cat, but I didn't want to upset him more than he already was. We talked about China, books, life in general. With no plans to see him anytime soon, I'm just taking it a day at a time.

A friend I was telling the situation to says this is my chance to step it up and be "girlfriend" material, to be there for him. Be there for him when the BFPE can't. I'm going to try. If this doesn't work, then really... I'm done.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't know you, but I enjoy reading your blog. Just a comment (and take from it what you will) but you seem anxious to prove to this man that you are good girlfriend material but has he done anything at all to prove the same to you (i.e. that he is good boyfriend material.)

I have dated men that I would do anything for - men that in retrospect, long after they dumped me, I would realize never did anything for me. Sometimes it is very hard to see when you are in the situation but I think it is important that a relationship be give and take, not just one person gives and the other person takes.

We all deserve to be treated well... I hope everything works out for you :)

Debbie said...

I agree with anonymous (which was what I was trying to say when I talked to you last night actually). Relationships need to be give and take...don't make it like all of my relationships - the more you give, the more they take! If you give too much, men seem to take it for granted. I am guilty of this too...but you are a MUCH stronger woman than I am, and you deserve the best from a man! NOT second best!