Shower

the Israeli is the shower. I'm blogging in secret. Tuesday night, I did in fact get the kitchen packed completely. I did also receive a phone call at 8:45 from the Israeli saying that he was just getting on the bus, and did not know how long it would take to get home. At 9:10, I get a text message from the Israeli saying that the bus hadn't arrived, and wouldn't arrive until 9:13. I was already mad at him, and when he got back to the apartment I picked one of the worst fights I may have ever picked in my life. Basically, every doubt, insecurity, and irritant I ever felt with the Israeli from the past 6 months came pouring out of me. Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was because my trainer made a point to tell me I deserved better - and pointed out red flags I could have seen before - but regardless, I spent a good long hour telling the Israeli everything I did not like about our relationship and how he had treated me in the past 6 months. It felt cathartic to be so honest. I felt terrible at the same time, because I didn't want these few days to be miserable with the Israeli. I was very worked up, and very emotional... to the point where I made the Israeli cry because he felt like he had never hurt someone as badly as he hurt me. Hmmm. Well, maybe I over exaggerated a bit how hurt I had been... but it was good to actually see some emotion from him. He used the "L" word a few times, but he never came out and said "I love you." Which, much to my relief, I didn't have to come up with a response to. He was going to leave and stay with other friends, and part of me really wanted to let him go. But I knew I would feel terrible if I let things end that way. So we made up, and things were teary and a little weird... but ultimately, it was fine.

Wednesday, I had a session with my trainer in the morning, so the Israeli went to go do his laundry and run some errands. When he came back to the apartment, he had brought me a whole breakfast from the place we ate lunch the first day he was here. It was really sweet, and I could tell he was trying to make up for how badly he felt the night before. We went to Target where the Israeli got some clothes that were a little less Israeli... and in my opinion, a little more normal. We then had plans to meet up with his friends who he knows from Israel, but they live in New York now. I had never been introduced to any of his friends while he was here in May, and really didn't think any of them knew anything about me. Apparently, this one couple had heard about me, but still he had never introduced us before. His friend was playing a violin concert on the Upper West Side, so we went to that and then we went to dinner with his friend, her husband, and some of the other members of her quartet. It was quite an eclectic group and the Israeli really seemed to be in his element. It was a very diverse dinner party, as it was determined that I was the only true American at the table. Most of them had their green cards, and had been living here for many years, but there were 3 Israeli born, 3 Russian born, 1 Turkish, and 1 Canadian... and me, a red blooded Yankee through and through. I think socially the Israeli does better in situations like these, because they are more diverse and his mannerisms don't seem so out of place. However, the other 2 Israelis are much more Americanized. The Israeli's friend came up with a whole plan on how the Israeli is going to move here... to be with me. She said he should come back for grad school, and since I'm moving to Philly/South Jersey, he should look into Penn or Temple. And then he will live with me, and... Ok. Enough. I don't want the Israeli to move here, not for me at least. If he does end up coming here for his Masters degree, than that's one thing... but I'm not going to wait around for him. And I'm not going to to hold my breath hoping that he does. At this point, I'll be sad to see him go, but I think it will be easier this time to move on.

This morning we had a late breakfast and then the Israeli went off to run some errands while I stayed home and packed up more of the apartment. Tonight is my going away party where the Israeli will get to meet many of my friends here in the city. Some he's met before, most he hasn't. I'm interested to see how he survives socially in a much less diverse population (he'll be the only non-American this time!), although I'm afraid I already know how this is going to go...