The best part.

I have criticized guys I've dated before for being "fast and furious" in the relationship department before. I have mentioned how fast things have moved before I actually wanted them too, or how I wish I could slow things down. Even when Google and I broke up he said that he wondered what would have happened if we had slowed down getting to know each other, and didn't rush into anything. I should be SO grateful right now that I'm dating a guy who wants to take things slow. And is in NO rush to make things physical right away. This is a good thing, I know. I'm enjoying all the time we've been spending together so far. To be honest, we've spent a good amount of time together, we've only been dating for 2 weeks and have had 5 really good dates so far.

This one is different. I don't know what it is, but there is something completely different about the way I am dating this guy. First of all, I'm relatively calm about it all. With the occasional crazy moment aside, I'm doing this however it feels right. Last night I invited him to come over to my house to watch a movie and have some pizza. There were total ulterior motives on my part. I wanted to make this move a little faster, and take the "getting to know you" up a notch. As you may remember with Google, I didn't invite him over to my house for weeks and weeks. I didn't want to wait that long with this one, nor did I see the necessity of waiting for him to plan a night that would put us in a more intimate setting. So, 2 weeks in, I invited him to my house. He got to my house around 8ish, and after me being super self-conscious about everything and apologizing for everything in my house (from my lack of food to my hyper-aggressive dog), he basically told me to stop apologizing for my house/dog/lack of whatever... he didn't care, and it wasn't why he was there - to judge my house. I don't know why I get so crazy self-conscious. My house was clean, it wasn't messy at all. I should have been a bit more confident. We ordered pizza, and I have to say, I'm very impressed that he's trying foods that he has never tried before. When we talked about food on our 3rd date he called himself a dull eater, but on the past 3 dates, he's tried something new every time. We ordered pizza with eggplant on it (which is breaded and fried - so it's not healthy at all!), and at first he was anti-eggplant, since he had never tried it before. I was fine with whatever he wanted to order, I'm really not picky at all when it comes to food. And I didn't want him to get stuck with something he didn't like. But he insisted that we order pizza with eggplant since it's my favorite. We had dinner, some beers, and just sat around and talked for 2 hours. At ten, I suggested putting the movie, and he had me pick from the 6 movies he brought over. I picked the one that he had mentioned was his most recent favorite, since I had never seen it, and it had an interesting sci-fi premise. If I really wanted to make it a better situation for something physical to go down, I should have picked a movie I had already seen and, at the very least, a comedy. But we watched this movie, which was ok, I didn't love it. We watched the WHOLE movie, with little to no physical contact throughout. By the end of the movie we were sitting close enough that we were touching, but not in an intentional way. We stayed on the couch and let the dvd menu loop over and over while we talked for another 3 hours. Yup, just talked. He asked me some interesting questions about my past relationships (he asked if Mr. P had ever lived with me in my house) and if I thought I wanted kids. That one caught me WAY off guard. I stammered and stumbled, and said I didn't know, which is true. I am on the fence about kids. I think eventually I will have one or two, but for now, I can't imagine it because I'm not in that stage of my life. I wonder if he thinks because I'm older, I'm on a different timeline than he is, and wants to get these "crucial" questions out of the way early on! I felt kind of put on the spot, but he basically said the same thing as me, he's on the fence when it comes to kids too. Interesting question for a 5th date when we haven't even kissed so far that night.

So, by 3 am, he had been at my house for 7 hours, and I was practically falling asleep. I had to be up in 3 hours or so for work, and have a youth group convention ALL weekend. It was not the best idea to start this weekend on a sleep deficit. He gets his things to leave, I get him his jacket, and he gets his movies, and it's just... well... awkward for lack of a better term. At this point we had hung out for so long without any real contact, how was this going to end? I walked him to my door, and then out the door he stops on my porch and turns to me. I went outside still not sure how we were going to part, and he says, "wow, I'm so awkward." Which, maybe he is when it comes to making a move, but it's kind of endearing. And then we kissed goodbye, it was a long and lingering kiss, like all the ones before. It feels like it's getting more intimate with the kissing, I just wish it would happen a bit sooner in the date. I like kissing him, and wouldn't mind doing a bit more of it. For all the socially awkward guys I've dated before, and let's be honest, there have been a SLEW of them, this guy is the LEAST socially awkward. But when it comes to being able to make a move, he takes the cake.

I think this is going to have to be my move. Clearly inviting him over for dinner and a movie wasn't enough of a gesture to let him know that I want more than just a kiss goodnight. Besides this one thing, it's pretty amazing. We have a good time together, can talk for hours, laughter comes easy. Why do I want to rush it? I should take this slow and steady and recognize something good when I have it. Getting to know someone you like is the best part of the beginning and moving too fast has only messed things up in the past, taking things slow may just be the change I need.