Saturday, May 01, 2010

The Gentleman

I am starting to feel a bit like a broken record after these dates... the dates are good, great even. I am having a really good time getting to know this guy, the dates are long and very entertaining. I smile a lot while I'm on these dates, and even more when I'm telling people about them. And it's my own fault for stressing the physical part so much, because it seems like the first thing anyone asks me is about the progress in that area, which I'm no longer sorry to say is still staying slow and steady. It's strange that I've grown to appreciate the end of the date because I know what to expect then. I don't just enjoy the end, but it's definitely something I look forward to! If nothing else, this guy has shown me the value of slowing things down.

We went out on Thursday night after a week of communicating solely through text messages. I have mixed feelings about texting. It's a great way to communicate quickly and effectively, but it always makes me second guess things, and I can spend way too much time analyzing and agonizing over texts that I'm sending or receiving. But, from Thursday of last week until Thursday this past week, we only communicated through texts. And we "talked" everyday, which is a good sign, I know. But of course I'm still highly aware of who texts who first/last/the most, and I know I need to get over, and I'm definitely working on it. He didn't ask to see me until Monday night, and I was getting nervous about how to bring up the topic of hanging out again if he didn't, but thankfully he did. So we planned to go mini-golfing on Thursday night, since it was going to be such a nice night.

Thursday night, he came and picked me up at my house. One thing I love is that he always comes to the door, even if he's not coming in. This isn't something that many guys I've dated before have done, and I think it's so sweet. He's definitely a gentleman (maybe that could be his blog name - the gentleman?? I'll test it out!) and does the little things that when someone doesn't do it, you might not notice or care, but when it is done, it's such a difference! So he picked me up at the door, and I think if I want to breech the physical contact before the end of the date, the beginning of the date is where I should start. I should have given him a hug or something... but I didn't. There's something about his nervousness that makes me nervous and I'm constantly second guessing things that would come as second nature to me. We played mini-golf, and I'm a terrible mini-golfer apparently. He's not much better, but we had a great time regardless of how bad we were doing. We didn't even keep score, thankfully, because I might actually be embarrassed if I knew how badly I actually did. After mini-golf we decided to get some dinner, and drove over to a small Italian restaurant across the street, which of course we stayed at until it was closing and we were the last ones there (we have a habit of doing this...), but it was the same good conversation, with lots of good questions and laughing and I feel like I'm really getting to know him before anything else gets in the way. What a concept. He asked what I wanted to do after we closed out the restaurant, and I invited him back to my house. It was fairly early, but still a school night for me, so I wasn't planning on staying up too late. 4 hours later, when all we've done is talk on my couch and it's nearing 3am, he decided it was probably time to go home. So, we kissed for a few minutes before he left and that's all. Really, it's the same story of every other date with just different activities leading up to the kiss goodnight. The whole date really was great, but if I had to pick a part that I wish would last a bit longer than it does, that would be it. Also, the other areas of the date were fairly long (an 8 hour date - with only 5 minutes of kissing!)

We did have more physical contact while he was at my house. At one point, we were talking about Tarot cards and palm readings for some reason, and he mentioned how he had his palm read once, and he was trying to explain what he remembered from that and of course he had to hold my hand to read my palm, that's a step in the right direction. Also, my dog was acting a bit crazy and jumping all over him, so I had to lean across him and try to get the dog to stop jumping on him... more accidental contact like that... but nothing concrete or intentional. It will happen, I'm sure, I'm just not sure HOW it will happen. Everyone has their ideas and suggestions, and trust me they all run through my mind while I'm in the situation to make it happen, it just doesn't feel natural, and I get nervous, so maybe I shouldn't force it. I do enjoy spending all this time with him, without the physical aspect clouding my opinions of him. I feel like I convince myself I like a lot of guys that I wouldn't normally because it's physically appealing. Keeping it slow and steady definitely eliminates that possibility, and everything I like about this guy is because he is truly someone that I am connecting with on every other level, the physical will happen in good time. He hasn't given me any reason to believe that he's anything but interested in continuing this, so I am willing let go of my own expectations of what "should" be happening by this point in the relationship, and just go with the flow.

1 comment:

Debbie said...

I think it's great that you are taking things slowly, even if it is unintentionally! Haha! I tried that...it didn't work. Whoops!!!