Thankful

Normally, I wouldn't be posting about being thankful at the end of a relationship (or whatever it is that I've had over the past month). 3 years ago, I wrote this post about being thankful for what I have, and to try to take life more as it comes, and not be so caught up where I think I should be. Flash forward 3 years, and I'm still in the exact same place. It's amazing, but I could have written that blog last night when I got home from Thanksgiving dinner at my sister's in-laws up in Connecticut. It was a great day, surrounded by a lot of love and laughter. When I'm around my family, I don't feel that urgency to find someone, to be a part of a relationship so quickly again. My family are probably the least judgmental people I know, and have tolerated A LOT of losers that I've brought around. I remember when my sister told me that my dad compared the poker player I dated for a while to a white wall... that's how interesting he was. But to my face, my parents would have never said anything about him. They want me to be happy, and if a white wall was making me happy, well then who are they to tell me otherwise. I know all of this, and yet, I am not willing to bring anyone around to meet them. It's seems as though anytime there is someone I think is worth introducing to them, they always disappoint... latest case in point:

I'm pretty sure things are just about done with the guy who lives with his ex. I don't know if he's reading the blog or not, or he's just stopped being interested; but the past few days, he's dropped off the radar, which is very unusual behavior for him. It's rare that I go a few hours without texting him normally, and the past few days, I've sent him texts, only for no response or very limited response from him. Yesterday, I sent him a text in the morning to wish him a happy Thanksgiving, and did not hear back from him all day. So at night, I sent him another text saying that I hoped he had a good day, and good luck in the morning since it's black friday, and he works in retail (=worst day of the year). He texted me back, but just to tell me how great his holiday was, and that's all. He didn't ask how mine was, didn't wish me a happy thanksgiving, nothing. I sent him another text saying that I was glad he had a nice holiday, and how he must be feeling better (he hadn't been feeling well the day before). He responded how he still wasn't feeling well, but not badly enough to prevent him from enjoying the holiday. Again, nothing to indicate that he cared how my holiday was, or any interest in my day at all. So, I decided to not text him today, to see if he'd text me. Nope. I haven't heard from him at all in 24 hours, so to me, that signifies an end to whatever this has become. I'm kind of angry that he thinks it's ok to just stop talking to me, I honestly really enjoyed all of our conversations and time spent together, and if it wasn't going anywhere, then at least we could've been friends. At this point I have no idea what to think of it, and I'm pretty disappointed that he's chosen an absence of communication.

So that's it, that's how it ends with guy who lives with his ex, I guess. I'd be surprised if I never heard from him again, but I'm not sure how I'd even respond at this point. Things I'm thankful for out of this whole thing (because my new dating attitude = positive, not bitter):
1. I'm thankful that I met someone with whom I had a great connection. Yes, the timing sucked, yes, his situation was not ideal, and maybe the relationship was not meant to be, but we had a palpable connection, and that was truly exciting.
2. I'm thankful that I didn't rush things with him. Things never really progressed beyond very basic kissing on the couch. I'm glad it didn't go too far.
3. I'm thankful that I have so much to look forward to in the future. Whoever it is that I'm going to end up with is still out there, and I'm looking forward to that first date!

My mom offered to get me a subscription to Jdate for Hanukkah. I guess it's back out in the world of dating again... I never seem to be gone for too long. I'm really going to try the Jewish thing for a while, who knows it might work out in my favor... never has before, but it's always worth a shot.