So my blog has been read by someone who lives with the guy who lives with his ex (but not his ex). I actually had figured this out yesterday through a conversation that I had with him, and I'm debating whether that means I go back and change what I've written in the past. Right now, I'm opting for not changing it. I'm totally allowed to feel however I want to feel and write about it, if he or anyone he lives with choose to read it, I can't help that. Nor should I feel like I have to apologize for it. This my slight rant because yesterday we were talking over IM, and he brought up the "announcing" thing, which I didn't think I made a huge deal about when we were together, but apparently I did and I hurt his feelings. I felt badly about hurting his feelings, but the depth of what he said and how he made me feel awkward felt like it was coming straight from the blog. Since I don't remember talking that much about it, I assumed he had read the blog and that was where his hurt feelings came from. Apparently I had made a big deal about it, and it hurt his feelings anyway, but regardless, he didn't read the blog, his roommate did.
I think besides the previous entry they were all pretty fair. The last one I was extremely tired and grouchy. Which may lead me to over think things, and over analyze. But it's exactly how I was feeling at the time. Just like the ones before that when I was giddy and happy about it was exactly how I felt at that time... I've been guarded from the beginning, and that's only fair considering his unconventional living situation, but I think I'm giving this guy a fair shake. If I wanted to end this, I've had plenty of outs, but there's something there definitely, and it makes me want to continue. I'm taking this SUPER slow and that's ok with me. I'm in no rush, it's not like I've got to have it all figured out anyway. I'm really not sure about anything in my life at this point, my life is consumed with work, which I hate - but I love all my jobs, and I feel like I'm falling behind in work the more time I spend dating. But if I ever want to reach a point where I'm not dating, then I have to continue it. Catch 22. Damn.
2 comments:
I would not worry about it (I know- easier said than done)- this is an outlet for you, and in an ideal world no one featured here would find out about it... all you can do is talk to him about it and be honest. Good luck sister...
Did he tell you his roommate is reading it or are you guessing? If a roommate knows, then he will eventually read it (it's human nature...we're a curious species! haha!). Either way, if he reads it or lets people who read it report back to him, then it's his own issue. People always want to know what's on the mind of the people they date, so this is his chance to find out. You are only speaking (writing) the truth...and your honest thoughts/feelings.
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