Not Holding My Breath and Not Smiling.

It had been almost 2 weeks since I had seen CK before tonight. We had very minimal communication over the past 2 weeks as well. A few text messages here and there, and one phone conversation where he told me about the BFPE's impending visit. She is coming this Wednesday and staying through the following Tuesday. I actually think her timing couldn't be better. I have a busy weekend planned and will be spending most of my weekend in Philly anyway for a library convention (Yes, exciting). I wonder what CK would do if I asked him if I could park in his driveway while she's there. Hmmm.

Anyway, I was getting pretty fed up with CK's schedule of not being able to see me, and I resolved that if I did not see him before the BFPE came into town, I was done. For good. As it is, I think I'm resolving myself just to friendship with him for now. Once the BFPE leaves, that is. A lot of people have questioned my judgment on this and really, I need friends with some common interests at home. I have plenty of friends, but none that like the same music or want to see the same movies (case in point - tonight). So, I don't want to rid myself of his presence completely just yet.

Tonight CK actually drove out to jersey and we went out on this side of the river. I knew that this meant there would be no making out or sleepovers, but as I'm trying to do the friend thing... I'm ok with that. We went to dinner at a Thai food place, and of course, it was disappointing. I have yet to find good Jersey Thai. I am of the impression that it does not in fact exist. We had about an hour and a half to kill before the movie, so we went over to Target and shopped for some stuff he needed. It was one of those couplely things that people do, and I didn't like it very much. It seemed to completely contradict everything I was going for in the friendship aspect. The movie (Juno) was great, and everyone who recommended it to me was dead on. The only awkward parts I felt were the sappy moments where they are talking about what love is, and how you know if you've found it. Whatever CK and I have, it is NOT love. It's hardly like most of the time. I wanted to kind of pull my hand away from him and inch my leg out under his hand... it just felt awkward to be cuddling while people were discussing the meaning of love worth living for. Whatever that means anyway. I spend most of my time hating CK, and bitching about him. Because I see him so infrequently, it's very easy to do. I will get caught up in the romance of it for a moment and then as the days pass, I gradually move back into hating him.

I don't think I'll have to wait a few days for this one. When we were about 2 minutes from my house, he felt the need to remind me that the BFPE was coming on Wednesday. I told him I knew, and that after that, we'd go back to being friends. And he replied, for a little while at least. As if I'm going to get back together with him because he's so irresistible? I said, we'll see when we get there. As we got to my house there was a rather quick goodbye which consisted of a kiss on the lips, reminiscent of our earlier days of dating, and he said he'd talk to me in about a week. I looked at him and said, C____, I'm not going to hold my breath. And then I walked out. It was kind of a dramatic goodbye, and it felt really good. At least I have that to carry me over until the next time. Whenever that should be.

In other news of guys I no longer like... my school crush observed me today. Yes, he is my supervisor, so he does observe me for my job. It was a terrible lesson, and I felt like it was probably the worst display of teaching ever presented. I could tell he didn't want to be too harsh on me, and the actual paperwork was ok. However, I did get one comment that did not strike me as being too kind... he said that I should consider smiling more. I don't think that's a legit recommendation, I'm not a smiley teacher. That's just how I am, and I don't think that should be held against me. I have my post-op with him tomorrow, so we'll see. Maybe the combination of CK, the BFPE, and the crush all colliding at one time will be enough to rattle the universe and get some good drama up in here again.