Unsettled.

I went out Friday night for my friend's birthday dinner. I was walking up 2nd Ave, and suddenly realized I was standing on the corner where the drunk guy passed out and almost died on my He Said, She Said date. It was a warm night, for being November and all, and there were a few people eating outdoors at the Mexican restaurant where the date took place. Thinking back to that hilarious scene during my dating frenzy, made me think how weird it was that it's been 3 months since then, and I feel like I'm in quite a different place.

I had my hopes set on T being a good relationship. I didn't set expectations on it, and I didn't over plan/think the relationship. It was going smoothly, we had 5 really awesome dates, each one getting progressively more enjoyable than the next. He talked in terms of the future. What we would do together, the things he wanted to show me... This wasn't your average "I want to get laid" talk. He was laying the groundwork for a relationship. He said he wanted to take things slow, it was only our 5th date after all, he said. When I was leaving the night of our 5th date, he insisted on walking me out to the train, even though I told him I'd be fine. Once we got outside, he convinced me to let him drive me home. He dropped me off at my apartment, and we kissed goodbye. I wished him a good first week of work at his new job, even though I was sure I would talk to him soon. That was 8 days ago. I haven't heard from him since. And not from lack of trying on my part. I called him Monday morning to wish him a good first day at his new job. Didn't hear back from him. Emailed him Thursday, just to check in, see how his week was... Didn't hear back from him. Called him Saturday, marking my final attempt of contacting him, just to say hi, and that I would be in his neighborhood for some writing... and shockingly... didn't hear back from him. So, I spent a good portion of the weekend feeling a mixture of foolishness, anger, and worry. Foolish for trying so hard all week, but after 5 dates, I didn't honestly think anything of it. Angry for believing that this guy was for real... and angry for still believing it. Part of me doesn't want to give up just yet... part of me believes he's going to call me sometime this week and have a REALLY good explanation for why he has dropped off the face of the earth. And finally worried, worried that something could have happened to him, and I would have no way of knowing. The likelihood of that happening is slim, I'm sure. But I can't shake the feeling that something is completely off. He also hasn't logged into his profile on the dating site since the 2nd, which I at first took as a very good sign... but now that it's been over a week since I've talked to him, and he hasn't been scoping out new potentials, I'm a little concerned. I've had guys disappear before, drop off and never call me again. Completely ignore emails, and such. But this is weird... and I can't shake the feeling. I don't know what to make of the situation. I don't think I want to go back out there, dating more guys than I can keep track of.

So, as far as I can tell... I'm done with T. Which makes me sad. I hope there will be more to add to this incomplete story at some point down the line. But for now there is nothing left to say.