Something New

I don't usually write about things at my job, because this isn't a job blog. It's a dating blog, and there is absolutely no one of interest for me to date at school... But, just a quick story that really made my day and reminds me why I love working with kids (sometimes).

I've not been at my best the past week or so, and when you work with 18 very hormonal 5th graders, they tend to bring out all the nastiest things in you. I've had 2 very bad days with my students, yesterday and today. Yesterday I was at the point of almost just cashing it all in, subletting my apartment and high-tailing it back to Jersey. But I'm not a quitter. and I'm not going to let these 5th grade brats get the best of me either. I made it through last year which was just one torturous day after another, and left more days crying than not. I haven't cried once this year, so why does it seem so bad? I think because my class seemed so good at first, and now they have hit some sort of rebellious phase and want to fight me on every issue from pencils to their seats. Very trivial issues, but they treat them each with life changing urgency and as if I'm doing them utter injustice.

I teach an after school test preparation program that runs from 3:37 through 5:30, and after 7 hours of children sucking every ounce of energy out of you, it's the most dreaded part of my day. Especially the cafeteria duty. Because the kids stay until 5:30, we take them down from 3:37 until 4 or so and the school feeds them another meal. It's chaotic and poorly run, and we're supposed to police our students at all times. Plain and simple, it sucks.

Today I was dealing with two of my most problematic boys, and the fact that they should have been kicked out of test prep about a week or so ago when they started causing problems to the point where no one in my class gets any work done. I was going to talk to the Assistant Principal when I ran into one of my students from last year. She was one of my favorite students, and I had really missed her since school had started this year. I see some of my students who live nearby and come to pick up younger siblings. Seeing her definitely lifted my mood, and I chatted with her and her father for a little while. At one point, she turned to her father and said, "doesn't she look so beautiful?" and that one comment totally made my day. First of all, I did not look beautiful by anyone's standards. I was wearing my cords, a v-neck sweater with some t's layered underneath, my hair was a mess, glasses, and no make up. But it reminded me that to children, that kind of thing doesn't really matter. You can look and feel terrible, but they have this ability to put you up on a pedestal and see the best in you. I believe that most of my students, whether they admit it (or show it) or not, look up to me as some sort of role model. I am an important figure in their lives, I could probably do a lot more good for them if I gave them more of a chance. So with this happy outlook, I decided to give my problem boys one more chance, really trying to believe that they could do it.

I was wrong, and one was kicked out by the end the day today, and one has one more chance. But it was a nice thought for about half an hour.