Happy

6 weeks ago, I decided I was going to start dating the guys that I chose for myself. I was going to email a slew of guys on match and date only the ones that I had already pre-selected for myself instead of dating the guys who picked me first. But there was just this one guy that had winked at me, and well, I might not have picked him because he was younger than me, or he didn't mention in his profile that he liked some of the things I did, or whatever reason I was using to pick guys, I might have overlooked him (actually I KNOW I would have, because I never searched guys younger than me.) But since he winked at me, just before I set my rule into effect, I figured why not. I emailed him, and then, 6 weeks later, here I am, dating one of the greatest guys I've ever met. If I had been so picky as to not respond to his wink because he was too young or whatever stupid reason I was choosing at the time, I would not be where I am today. And where is that, you might ask, I've been rather absent lately in the blog. But it's not without reason. In the past, I've made the mistake of fixating on every single issue and detail with a relationship. Did he text me enough times? Why didn't he call? What does it mean when he says/does...? Enough already. I'm really very content to not over analyze anything that is going on with the Gentleman. He treats me well, we laugh, we kiss, we are making progress. It's healthy and I'm happy. What else could I ask for?

And the past week has been great. From last week's blog until now, we've seen each other multiple times. It's all pretty much the same. We hang out, I've met a few more of his friends, he met a couple of mine. My friends loved him, and he thought they were awesome. Because they are. He fits. We fit. and while we haven't had the DTR, and I wouldn't refer to him as my boyfriend in front of him... I have been casually referring to him as my boyfriend to others (I hope he doesn't mind.) After 6 weeks, we're still getting to know each other. He surprises me with how amazingly intuitive and aware of me he is.

This reminds me of a book that has been fairly controversial in the dating world. It's called Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. When I first read the title, I shuttered, settling? Isn't that everything I've worked against? If I wanted to settle I would still be with Mr. P, or even yet, I'd be MARRIED to my ex that I lived with who had a crazy family. Why would I ever read a book that was going to tell me to settle?? But, I was at the library, and it was right there in front of me, so I picked it up. And it's not about settling for someone who isn't good enough for you (and Mr. P and the ex I lived with were not good enough!), it's about looking past these "rules" that have no bearing on whether the person you are with is good enough. It would be if I didn't date the Gentleman because he was 2 years younger than me. It would be if I hadn't dated Mr. Perfect because he didn't have a 4 year college degree. It would be if I didn't date my ex that I lived with because he was bald. None of these things have any bearing on how good our relationship was/could be. These are reasons why people choose (and I've been guilty of this before) to not date someone or even respond to an email, because we have these preconceived notions of what we should have in our relationships. I've had a lot of what I thought I should have. And I've had a lot of what I thought I shouldn't have. And when it comes down to it, the should haves and shouldn't haves didn't make a difference in the end. In the end it came down to just one simple thing - does this person make me happy? At the end of all my previous relationships - I can safely say that I was not happy in those relationships, whether they were 2 months long or 2 years long. There was a lack of balance in ALL of my failed relationships. My two longest relationships, Mr. P and the ex I lived with, both break-up conversations started with the exact same sentence "I don't think you're happy in this relationship." (One time I was saying it, the other time it was said to me. Both times were true.) So, when I look back at the guys I could've married, or the guys I've dated, I don't think I've missed out. I don't think I've been too picky and to be honest, I feel like I'm finally on the right track. I'm not saying that the Gentleman is the "one" or anything like that, but I am saying that I've learned from past mistakes, and if nothing else, he makes me happy.