Tables Turned

After I thought about whether or not I was ready to call it quits with Mr. Perfect, I decided that I was no where near that place, and I didn't want one weekend of bad moods to ruin what we had. So of course, I started getting really paranoid that my bad moods had trickled into his mind, and he was in fact, going to break up with me over dinner on Wednesday. I was out with friends before hand, and since my tires are still not back to normal yet, my friend drove me from school and was going to drive me back to my car before my date with Mr. P. We ran out of time, and rush hour is a bitch, so she drove me straight to the restaurant, and I was late anyway. She asked me if it was going to be a problem for Mr. P to drive me back to my car. I didn't really think it would be, but in my head, I had concocted an entire break up scene already, so I told her I didn't know. She assured me that should he break up with me, she would come back and drive me to my car. I love my friends, they are great. However, I did not need her assistance this time.

When I walked in, Mr. P gave me a weird look and just said, "teacher clothes?" I had forgotten that he had never really scene me in work clothes, so of course I got all self conscious, and apologized immediately for not changing... Then I realized that I don't need to apologize for wearing my work clothes. Just because he can wear jeans to work doesn't mean I can, and doesn't mean that I can't look nice every once in a while! So, I kind of retracted my apology with a statement that was probably meaner than it should have been. When I mentioned that my car was still at school and asked if could drive me back after dinner, his initial reaction was to ask me how far away my school was. I realize that he was just being practical, but seriously, does it matter if it was 10 minutes away or 20? If he wasn't going to drive me back no matter the distance I probably would have been done, unless he had a really good reason. Dinner was ok a little weird but only because I was making it weird. I didn't feel comfortable because I kept thinking he might break up with me, or he was bored or something. He drove me back to my car, and I felt things were better then. He checked on my tires and then I followed him back to his place. I definitely spent the majority of the night being super sweet and trying very very hard not to give him any reason to not want to be with me. This is new for me because I'm usually of the mentality that I shouldn't have to go out of my way for someone just because they may not have liked something I've said/done. Usually I'm pretty secure in my actions, but I realized that I had been acting crazy last weekend and was really scared of what could have come of that. I was going to go home since I didn't have any stuff with me but I spent the night, unplanned, because I fell asleep there. We're starting to get into a very comfortable routine with each other.

I think it's hard to adjust to being in a real relationship after being single for over 3 years. I know I was in a few relationships that lasted a couple of months, but they never really seemed serious. This one feels like something different. I don't know what, but I think I'm past my itchy stage and back into a likable place. He definitely has some nuances and quirks that are going to take me time to adjust to, but he's got way too many good qualities to give up for some itchiness. I think I annoy him just as much sometimes because I definitely have some qualities that can be undesirable. He puts up with mine with little to no irritation, so I really should cut him some slack on his.