Crazy

I'm adjusting to having a boyfriend all the time now. Like one who comes to family events like this, one who my mom feels comfortable enough to ask to come clean the garage this weekend... But yet, after years and years of dating and disappointments, I feel like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm waiting for him to just not return a text message, or disappear completely. This is unfair to him that I take out my neurosis on him.... yet, I can't seem to help it. Tonight, he was sweet and wonderful with my family, and kind of shy and quiet too. Which is fine, we've only been dating for 3 months, I'd be worried if he were overly comfortable too. But part of me felt like he was closed off to me tonight, and I started to get upset, which of course led to a weird conversation in the parking lot... I'm glad he came out. He usually plays this game on Tuesdays, and he gave up his group to be with me and my family tonight. Of course, if he hadn't I would've faulted him that I'm sure... Rational me knows I have the best thing I could ever ask for, but there's a part of me that is crazy. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve him, and other times I feel like I can do better. Which, I can't. Regardless, I do think it's high time I got over these things that have been weighing on me, and I just start enjoying the wonderful and caring person I have to be with. If only it were as easy to do as it is to say.