Actions Speak Louder.

I cleaned my house. Being snowed in, the impending threat of Google coming to my house in the morning, drinking too much wine, all this played a part of the integral cleaning. So, it only took me a few hours (yes, hours - I have a lot of laundry), but my house was ready for company.

I wasn't originally really going to clean my house. Yes, I talked about cleaning it. But when push comes to shove, I'm all talk. I need REAL motivation to get me to actually clean. Real motivation = someone actually coming over my house. So, on Saturday, I didn't clean. I cooked, and watched some tv, and shoveled snow. I was not cleaning. I came in from shoveling, feeling pretty good. I needed to get out of my house, talk with my neighbors, human interaction is usually what I need when I'm feeling sorry for myself. I had some food and some wine. Ok, more wine than food. I was a little drunk, by myself at home, which was fine, except I was messaging Google, and told him he should come over my house. Despite having not cleaned at all, in my drunken stupor, this didn't seem to matter too much. He was going out with his neighbors anyway, and the roads were not ideal. I did not think he was going to take me up on my offer. So, I invited him over, took a bath, and went to sleep. Not thinking he'd ever take me up on this. At 2:30 in the morning, I got a text that he was coming over first thing in the morning, he'd come over now but he was drunk and the roads were still icy. I had been passed out since about 8 the night before (wine does that to me!) and when I got the text, I responded coolly that it would be fine if he came over in the morning. I was going to go back to sleep and get up at 6 to straighten up, is what I told him. He said he'd be over then at 7. Now, I've been dating Google for over 7 weeks at this point. And while I don't know a whole lot about him, I do know his sleep habits. He does not get up easily, nor willingly very often. He oversleeps all the time, and likes to sleep in late. I wasn't worried that if he went to sleep, drunk, at 3 am, he'd be up early enough to get to my house by 7. So again, I assured him it was fine. I tried going back to sleep, unsuccessfully. So I got up and actually started cleaning my house. My bedroom was the worst - I have WAY too many clothes, and really not enough room all of it. Some of it got shoved in the second bedroom. I cleaned, vacuumed, dusted. It was a cleaning frenzy. But it was done in time. At 6 am, I was pretty much finished, tying up some loose ends of cleaning, and around 9, I finally heard from him that he'd be over by 10. I was still pretty shocked. I showered, dressed, and finished any last minute cleaning that I thought was necessary.

He came over and brought breakfast, which was sweet, especially since I had been up since 3, with no food, just a lot of water to stave off the wine hangover. I gave him a brief tour of my house, and he seemed to like it. It's a great house, I know this, but compared to his spectacular apartment, mine feels a little antiquated. I'm really proud of owning my own house, and being able to support myself, and all of that, but he's been doing that for quite some time, and without 3 jobs! I don't think he's thinking any of this, but these are just some of my insecurities. We hung out for part of the day, he left around 2:30, because he had to do laundry/pack for his trip this week, and he was having people over for the Super Bowl, so he needed to do some cleaning too. I had a youth group event planned to watch the Super Bowl, so I was going to go over to his place after the game. I was hesitant to go over because of the snow, the street parking in Philly was going to be wretched. Originally the plan was I was going to park in front of Google's garage, since his flight was super early in the morning, and I was going to drive him to the airport. He found out later in the day that his flight had been canceled, so he wasn't going to be leaving, which meant I couldn't block his neighbors car in the garage, so I'd have to find street parking on really bad roads, late at night. No thanks. I was going to skip going to his place, since I already saw him that day, and he wasn't going away, I wasn't upset anymore about not seeing him. I got a text message from him while I was at the youth group event that he saved a parking spot for me on the street right in front of his house, so parking wouldn't be a problem. There was still the issue of me having to work the next day (2 hour delay and all, but still), the roads being less than ideal, and not getting over there until 11 at night. I decided that since he saved me a parking spot, it showed that he wanted me to come over enough, so I did. I left the youth group event, went home to let the dog out, then went over to Google's to spend the night. The night was nothing exciting, it was nice. We hung out at one of his neighbor's places for about half an hour once I got there, then went to bed. In the morning, he helped me with my car, because my tires are not really built for snow travel, and doesn't handle very well even in the slightest snow conditions.

I made it home just fine, AND he checked in to make sure I got home alright. I thought that was funny since I had JUST posted that I wanted him to do that, but I think it was again, purely coincidental. Also, I was driving home on snowy roads, he SHOULD be checking in to make sure I get home alright!

As far as this week goes, right now I'm being snowed in, yet again, by myself. I'm not feeling bad about it, mostly because I'm trying to think of this week as if he really was away on business (he decided not to go at all because he wouldn't have enough days in the office once he was there), and I wouldn't be seeing him this week anyway. Communication is still lacking when I don't see him. I want to know that it's not "out of sight, out of mind" for him. Just a little something to know that he's thinking of me occasionally throughout the day. He did add me to his Google family and friends list, so I got my Google Buzz yesterday, which I think everyone will get/has already gotten in the next few days anyway. But that's the most I've gotten from him lately. I mentioned at one point over the weekend that it's been a while since we've gone out. The last time we were out to dinner was for his birthday and that was with his neighbors, not just us, the time before that was the Pour House. He mentioned that we'd be going out on Sunday (Valentine's Day) and that he was off on Monday too, though he never asked me if I had plans or not, so he's just assuming we're doing something. I have work that day, and like the last 3 day weekend, I am off on Monday. I don't want it to be like the last time where it ended with me being disappointed, because we didn't have specific plans, and I hoped for something more.

Hopefully this weekend will be better than the last 3 day weekend, maybe I should try to figure out what we're doing BEFORE the weekend, so I'm not left disappointed once again.