20 point checklist.

On Saturday the weather was less than ideal, snowy and the roads were slippery. Yet, Google and I proceeded to go out to his friend's party which happened to be a mere 5 minutes from my house. Probably walkable had it been really necessary. It wasn't, but still. So Google picks me up, and I have my purse and a bag with clothes for staying over his place. He looks at my stuff and says, That's a lot of stuff for a party. I responded that I wasn't being presumptuous but I needed to bring clothes for work the next day, just in case I was staying over. He responded that he had planned on staying at my place, since the roads were so bad and we were so close to my place anyway. Unfortunately for him, that's not an option. My house is a mess. Not like sort of messy. Like a certifiable mess, boarding on the verge of someone calling the show Hoarders on me. Ok, maybe not THAT bad. But you can't see my dining room table. And I have more clothes not in my closet and drawers than I do in. So it's bad. And I'm not going to bring ANYONE into my house like this. I've had PLENTY of time to get my house together, but it seems like every night I have free, I usually end up doing something for work, or going to the gym, or seeing Google. So I really don't have that much free time.

Anyway, we get to this party, where we're greeted warmly by his friends from California. The first thing the wife asks me if we can be friends on facebook, because she feels stalkerish looking at all my pictures when we're not friends. Of course, I agreed, and while we're not yet facebook friends, at least I know she's looking at my pictures. She then proceeds to tell Google that after spending 3 days with his mom (she flew out Google's mom for a work event), she now knows what's wrong with him. I look at him curiously, and ask what IS wrong with him exactly. His friend goes on to talk about his mom's 20 point checklist that she had to go through upon checking into the hotel, and other subsequent idiosyncrasies that she learned about through this visit. A 20 point checklist was what stood out in my mind. I'm not sure that I want someone to come into my house with any potential checklist in mind. Now, I know that Google is not his mother, but apparently according to his friend, it explains so many things that are wrong with him. This makes me nervous. And on top of that, his friend goes on to tell me that should I ever meet Google's mom, that I need to call her first, so she can fully prepare for the enormity that would be that visit. Scary.

I don't have a problems with moms, per se. It's just that I've never dated a guy who had a mom that liked me. To be fair, I've only met the moms of two of the guys I've dated. First was the guy who I lived with, and his was his step-mother. She was a controlling bitch. Sorry, but she was. About 4 months into my relationship with this guy, she and her husband tried to get him to break up with me by telling him that I wasn't good enough and no one would ever love him as much as his parents did. Creepy. I met his real mother once or twice (she lived far away in another state), and she was very nice to me, and supposedly liked me a lot. But that wasn't the family experience I had to experience for over 2 years with this guy. I read recently that my ex is married now, which is wonderful for him. But I also read that his parents ruined his wedding, which doesn't surprise me one bit. He posted how much his parents tried to control his wedding, and make it all about them. It sounds like everything they ever tried to do when we were together. I'm so glad that's not me. My other parental experience was with Mr. Perfect's parents. His dad was wonderful and very nice to me all the time. His mother, well, she wasn't very nice to anyone to be honest. In the year and a half that we were together, I never once saw her hug Mr. Perfect or tell him that she loved him, or anything affectionate that a mother should do. Mr Perfect insists that his mom did like me, she's just like that with everyone. And that very well could be the case. She just never made me feel welcome, or accepted at family functions. His grandma was another story. She loved me, and sent me cards, and baked us cookies. She was great. But when it comes to mothers, I have an 0 for 2 track record.

I don't anticipate having the opportunity to meet Google's mom anytime soon, however, I have to say that in light of the recent information that was given, I should probably make sure my house is clean enough to pass a 20 point checklist sometime in the near future.

Google has promised to stop giving me crap about my house not being clean enough for him to come over. I asked him this weekend if this bothers him, he said it sort of did, but there is a story behind why he doesn't want to give me crap about it. This friend I met this weekend knows this story, and he doesn't want me to know... it has peaked my curiosity enough for me to consider emailing her about it... but for now, I won't. I'll let sleeping dogs lie, but I might email her for that checklist.