While I wait.

I'm waiting to find out if the phone guy is going to be able to make it to our date for tonight. I'm not sure what to make of the whole situation. I get the impression that this guy really does want to meet me, and he wants to see me tonight... but his priority is work right now. I can understand that... but only to an extent.

So, we had plans to meet up tonight. We have talked just about every single day since we first started communicating a week ago. It's only been a week of communication but it feels like so much more based on how often we text/talk. He actually called me at the library on Friday with made up reference questions so I could talk to him while I was at work. It was super slow and I was very bored! He made for good company but still this is all preemptive since we haven't even met yet! He sent me a text this morning with the plan being to go bowling at North Bowl tonight. I'm not a huge fan of bowling on a first date, it's definitely more of a second date type of thing. I agreed and have done bowling both successfully and unsuccessfully as first dates before, and his other suggestion was I go over his house for him to cook us dinner and watch a movie! Whoa, there buddy. That is like... 5th or 6th date territory, not first meeting! No. I opted for bowling, but I get the feeling he's a "relationship" type guy and not a dater. He seems to be doing very boyfriend-y things before we've even met, the texts throughout the day, nicknames, wanting to have nights in before any nights out! Maybe I think more like a dater than a relationship-er. I know it is NECESSARY to have dates before you get into a relationship, but like how Google didn't know how to be in a relationship because he had never had one, maybe I could really get used to a guy to who ONLY knows how to be in a relationship. It's like I've gone from one extreme to the other.

He texts me at the library right before we closed today that it was necessary that I call him ASAP. I asked if I could call him between the library and my youth group meeting, which I had approximately 5 minutes. So I called him, and he goes on about how his boss is making him work tonight at 6, and he doesn't know how long it will go, but would I be interested in meeting up maybe later on - like 9 or 10 tonight? We talked on the phone, and I was very understanding about the whole situation. I think he thought I was going to get all angry or upset, or blow up on the phone or something. I am ok with plans being canceled, I don't enjoy it, but as long as I know, I'm fine. I didn't make a big deal out of it, and just asked him to keep me posted on how it was going tonight, or if we should just reschedule for another night this week. Since it was daylight savings, it actually feels much earlier than 8:30 right now, but I am exhausted! I didn't get home from my friend's birthday party last night until after 4, had to work all day, have a lot to do for school, so I think I'm just going to say no thanks for tonight. He's been texting me updates, but it doesn't look like he'll be done until after 10, and I'm not having any of that.

This makes yet another time our first date has been canceled due to his work. I really do want to meet this guy. And as someone who has a fairly busy work schedule, I should be understanding. the difference is I know in advance when I am or not free due to work, and my jobs don't really have any true urgency that is going to change that schedule. His on the other hand, requires him to be available 24/7, or basically at his boss's every need. He has done nothing but bad mouth his boss to me, although with a kind of respect I don't really understand. I think he thinks his boss is a jerk but he truly respects him, if that makes any sense... Anyway, his last text to me was about half an hour ago, I had said, why don't we just plan for another night, and he responded that he wanted to see how long it would be and added that his boss knew we had plans tonight. That made me laugh. I've never had a boss that could have that kind of control over my social life, nor would I want someone to have that kind of power. I imagine his boss to be this crazy controlling man, who doesn't want one of his most dependable employees to go on a date because it might change his outlook on how important his job is. Wow, I was just cock blocked by a guy I've never met, yet already dislike.

It's highly unlikely that we'll go out tonight. Which is sad, and disappointing, but at the same time, gives me some perspective. Am I going to spend yet another week talking and texting with him? Although I really don't want to, I probably will. It may give me some perspective though on the amount of stock I put on my dates before they happen, right up until the moment I get there.

On a completely unrelated note, it's been one month since things ended with Google. We've talked maybe 3 or 4 times via IM since then. He drunk texted me once. I may have drunk texted him once. (I think I did, but I never checked my sent texts the next day, and now they are gone!) I thought that I missed him, despite knowing how wrong he is for me. However, I've come to the conclusion that I do not miss him, but I miss what we had. He was not a good catch (despite what his match profile might make him out to be!), he's a miserable person, who lacks social skills, and lacks in many other areas as well. He did not care a whole lot about me, despite how much I tried to get him to. I do not miss him. I do not miss wondering if he is going to want to see me. I do not miss seeing him online and knowing that he's there, and CHOOSING not to talk to me. I don't miss wondering if I could be doing something different to make him like me more. I miss being out in Philly, getting to do really fun things, having romantic evenings, sharing myself with someone, becoming part of someone else's life. None of those things are exclusive to Google. I will have them again, with someone who mirrors the same feelings for me.

His apartment, however, will be deeply missed, and hard to get over. That was architectural love at first sight. Sigh.