Sub-Zero

There is a lot I should be doing rather than writing this... reading, writing, sleeping.

I've taken to going out during the week and it's cutting into my work schedule tremendously. I leave school early and nothing gets done in my classroom. I am out late, so nothing gets done for grad school. It's hectic trying to balance a full time job, grad school, and dating. The problem I have right now is that there are multiple guys that want to see me, and I am interested in seeing most of them (doesn't sound like much of a problem, I know), so I don't want to not schedule dates, but where are my priorities.

Tonight I met up with the college kid, who we can call mini-D from now on - because he really is. This was technically our second date, but I'm not thinking of him as a potential datee anymore, and more of a friend. So we had plans to see a movie tonight, and I really didn't want him to pay for me. It made me uncomfortable and makes me think that maybe he's going to expect something that he's not getting. So he takes out his credit card to pay for the tickets, and I practically throw my money at him, forcing him to take my $8. I want the expectations to be clear from the start. At one point during the movie, he did make a move to put his hand on my shoulder but I was displaying very closed body language, and he backed off pretty quick. The movie was great though, a definite upside to my week.

After the movie he asked me if I wanted to go to dinner at an Italian restaurant right by the Brooklyn Bridge. I agreed, but it was FREEZING out and was very cold, and slightly regretful for having agreed to it in the first place. The temperature was definitely sub-zero, and that matched pretty well how I was feeling towards mini-D and his awkwardness. But the dinner was nice, and I spent the a good chunk of dinner talking about how much work I had to do for grad school this week, and how I was so far behind. I tried talking library school with him, but he was the type of person who compares too much. Now Pratt's program and Rutgers program are completely different, and I really hate people who try to "one up" everything you say. He kept trying to compare our programs even though they are vastly different, and it irked me. He did ask me if I wanted to continue "seeing" him. I told him that I thought it would be best to be friends, since we're at very different places in life. He seemed ok with this answer, but I get the feeling he may persist in trying to romance me. He did insist on paying for dinner, and told me the chivalry wasn't dead. I tried to pay, in fact I almost threw a 20 at him, but he insisted.

He also insisted in walking me all the way back to Bergen St, we were down by the Brooklyn Bridge so it was a good 25 minute walk back to my place. I was going to walk it, because I saw no point in wasting time waiting for the train. It was really cold though, and I almost thought about taking a cab (since I didn't have to pay for dinner after all!), but when I told him I was going to walk, he also insisted on walking me home.

Overall, it was nice, and I can see myself being friends with him. A few things though that sent up some MAJOR red flags during dinner that mini-D felt the need to express to me made me uncomfortable. First, he wanted to tell me that he has a mild form of autism. Asperger's Syndrome is something I am well aware of, and secretly like to diagnose old bosses and exes with it. I studied autism in grad school for my educational degree and in undergrad for psych, so while I'm no where near an expert, I can talk a blue streak about it. I engaged him in a conversation about it for a while, and now I can see where D was coming from when he was trying to convince me in B&N on our last date that he definitely has Asperger's. I was hesitant to believe that, and D is a lot less socially awkward than mini-D is, but I think that's in combination with another thing mini-D revealed to me over dinner. He has Tourettes Syndrome as well. And while he assures me it is well medicated and under control (I may have noticed a few nervous tics, but there was no outbursts of any sort), it does make me a little uncomfortable. So that compounded with the autism, makes him a socially awkward guy. He warmed up to me a lot during dinner, and it was less weird. But there was a strange hug at the end of the date, where I felt like he might have liked to try and kiss me. The good thing about dating someone who is socially awkward is that you can predict most of their moves, and counter them before they even take place. Hopefully he doesn't plan a sneak attack.

There are 3 more guys in the works, I have a date with an Israeli (I know.. I know.. I usually avoid the Israelis...) on Friday, and a third date with the acupuncturist on Sunday... and two guys that are early in the planning stages. One is a musician from Queens, and the other is guy who has a Wii (now that I'm hooked on it - it's a selling factor!) ... and I'm just overwhelmed.