All's Fair

I have no news of dates to report. It's been 9 days since my last post, I feel like I'm either losing readership, or just letting the faithful down. D returned from Switzerland yesterday, I have no plans to see him yet. I'm not sure what exactly I'm doing really, everyone keeps asking me how that's going. And I don't really know what to tell them. It's going fine, I guess. I was hoping to gain a little more perspective on what I wanted while he was away, but I didn't. I get the feeling that this isn't going to be a long term thing, but more of a "it's fun while it lasts" type thing. Is that fair, though? Am I even having fun? I'm not sure of the answer to that. When I'm with him yes, definitely having fun. When, I'm not, which is the larger amount of time, I spend more time worrying about it than I'd like. Which is more important? I've long lost the notion that relationships are fair in any sense of the matter, and as far as the old saying goes, All's fair in love and war... mine feel a bit more like war than love, I suppose. It's sad, but true. A whole lot of strategy and planning goes into this, and it never seems quite worth it in the end. I'm taking a break from all the strategizing, planning, and trying to let things just happen as they happen. Only problem? Nothing is happening. As the week progressed between the last time I've seen D, and even the time before that, I've been getting the feeling that he's not all that interested. He could take it or leave it. I've been in that kind of relationship before, and that is not where I'm looking to be again.

Hopefully the end of the weekend will bring something more of note to discuss.