No Sleep.

Yesterday was the new guy's birthday. We had spent a substantial amount of time together the night before, but we decided we'd hang out again after I was done working last night anyway. Regardless of how long I've known a person or how well, I think birthdays are important days, hence why I spent time with Mr. P on his birthday, and I certainly didn't mind 2 nights in a row with this guy. I wanted to do something special but nothing over the top for him. So I bought a bottle of wine, checked out a selection of movies from the library/blockbuster, and cleaned the downstairs of my house (this in itself is a BIG deal!).

He came over around 10, and we had been up so late the night before that it felt really late to me. We had some wine, picked one of the 6 movies I had brought home, and settled in. We cuddled on the couch, and it was really nice. If it was my birthday, I would've been pretty happy with the events. As the night progressed, I was fighting to not fall asleep during the movie, so we stopped watching it and talked, kissed, and other activities... passing time is something which we clearly have no trouble doing. And 10 o'clock turned to 4am... again. I had to work fairly early today. So I was up at 8, after not a lot of sleep the night before, and only 4 hours of sleep last night, I'm feeling kinda clouded today. These late nights are starting to catch up with me, but when I'm in the moment, I don't think much about how it will affect me later!

Some of the conversations we had last night weren't really important. Some were very important. I am more comfortable talking to him about his ex wife, and the whole situation than I was before. One of our conversations revolved around that. I feel like I have a better understanding on why they are still living together, and despite it all, I am really ok with it. I'm not ready to meet her or anything like that, but I can handle the fact that she is a daily part of his life. It's not an ideal situation, but it's not an impossible one either. I'm more concerned about how my family/friends will respond to this, which I know in the grand scheme of things, doesn't really matter. What matters is if I'm happy, and not what they think. I care deeply about the opinions of my friends and family, and would love their approval, but I feel like this might be one situation that is hard for them to wrap their heads around. I'm still taking it one day at a time, and not getting in over my head. I need a few days apart, maybe one good night's sleep, and then I think I'll be able to think clearly about this.