Turning Point

I'm always surprised how quickly these things happen. I mean one minute, I'm content dating multiple guys, seeing where things go with each of them, and the next, I feel like any date would be an indiscretion and somewhat dishonest to the guy I've been dating. It's been 5 dates (one in 2 parts - that's to come) with the guy who lives with his ex. And I've done everything in my power to rationalize every reason why I shouldn't be with him, but I can't do it anymore. I like him, he likes me... so it just makes sense at this point. He's not perfect for me, not by any stretch of the imagination. And I don't know if it has real staying power, but for right now, I'm going to be happy enjoying it in the moment, taking it as it comes, and while I don't have to stop dating other people, I probably will.

Yesterday's date happened in two parts.

Part One

New guy and I had been texting all day the day before until about 7ish. I had a youth group event that night and he was going out to watch the game with some friends, so I knew that texting would be sporadic at best. He had sent me a text before I left asking me where I was, and which made me think that he hadn't gotten some of my previous texts. I sent him a text during my event, lamenting the score of the game and asking how his night was going... but I didn't hear back from him. I start to panic whenever there is a change in communication patterns. It's nonsense, because texting is an unreliable way of communicating, but I do freak out a bit. I got a text from him when I got home later that night, after midnight, accusing me of falling of the planet, but he hopes I had a good time out and he'd talk to me soon. I was confused because I clearly hadn't been the one to fall off the planet, he hadn't returned any of my texts! I sent him an email, and mentioned that we might be having technical difficulties with our texts. In the morning, still no response from him, so I started to panic a little bit. This is how I know I like this guy. If I didn't, I wouldn't care too much about not hearing from him (like when the bad kisser dropped off the planet, I didn't think twice about it). So, I decided that I was going to call him. I don't think I've ever initiated a phone call to him, and we've only talked on the phone a handful of times, and usually just to firm up plans. I was nervous, but it turned out to be no big deal. He hadn't gotten any of my text messages since the night before, around 6 or 7 ish. So he thought I was ignoring his texts and he hadn't checked his email. It all worked out fine, and we decided to go out for lunch, even though we had talked about hanging out at night too.

We went to lunch, and then to coffee, and just spent hours talking as usual. In my mind I was wondering if we were ever going to take this past the talking and a kiss goodbye stage, because that's exactly how it's been going for the past 4 dates. The first half of this date was the same. He drove me back to my house, dropped me off, kissed me goodbye. Again, no great spark at the kissing... and I was disappointed. He had to go out for his friend's birthday and I was meeting up with friends for dinner, but he wanted to hang out after he was done dinner.

Intermission - Dinner & Pedicure = me hashing this out with the girls. The opinion there was to move this past the kiss goodbye stage, but short of him coming into my house or me going to his, I couldn't figure out how to make this happen.

Part Two

He came back to my house to pick me up for the second part of our date. He wanted to come in to my house, but I hadn't cleaned and there was NO way that was happening. And he clearly didn't want to go back to his place with all of his roommates about. So we ended up at a diner. And we stayed there for hours, and talked and talked... it's turning into a pattern. We drink coffee, we talk, we go back to my house, he kisses me goodbye, the end. I was NOT going to allow that to happen. This was do or die. Not to be harsh, but if there wasn't a spark at the end of this date, then that was it! I was done. So, after hours at the diner, he drives me back to my house, and we kiss... but it's different this time. Neither one of us in a rush to leave, or get somewhere. So we lingered, and the kissing was... well... remarkably better in terms of sparks. Butterflies and excitement and all of that. I'm glad I didn't write it off at the first one, or the second... third time's the charm. I feel great when I'm with him, he's constantly telling me how beautiful I am, and really seems wowed to be with me all the time. I'm getting better at accepting compliments like these, and instead of trying to be humble and deny them, I'm trying to get better by just saying "thanks." It's definitely new, considering I can count on maybe 2 hands the number of times Mr. Perfect told me he thought I was pretty. But this guy doesn't hold back, and I like it. We stayed in his car for about 2 hours or so. It wasn't really the most comfortable, and seemed so silly because we were right outside my house, where no one else lives but me, but really it wasn't clean enough. And being in the car definitely prohibits things from going too far too fast. I finally went in my house around 3 am, and I feel bad because he had to work today. It's his birthday today, and he has plans with his ex-wife's family for dinner/cake (I know... at what point does that start sounding ok?) but he's coming over here afterwards. So today I'm cleaning in preparation, I feel excited about this prospect and nervous at the same time.

Last night was definitely a turning point, tonight may be too.