You could be home.

I apologize for the incoherence of this blog in advance. It is being written at almost 11pm at night, going on only 2 and a half hours of sleep from the night before.

I've been really "good" lately, and I've started getting up at 5am and going to the gym in the morning before work. I enjoy going to the gym super early for a few reasons. 1. It's never crowded. 2. It's a good way to start your day 3. I find I have more energy during the day. 4... Ok, so anyway, I was planning on going to bed last night REALLY early. Like in the 9's early. I got a phone call around 9:30, from the Israeli. Which was a little strange because he called me on Monday night, so I really didn't expect to hear from him on Tuesday too. He was home early from a work event, and asked if I wanted to come over. I had a brief internal struggle that was something along the lines of what is more important - sleep or sex? I went over to his apartment.

I got to his place around 10. I knew getting there so late, the earliest I'd be in bed would be around midnight, which would still put me at 5 hours of sleep, which isn't bad. Nothing significant happened between the hours of 10-12. We made out, read more of the book (which is taking FOREVER to finish. It's not a long book.), and chatted while he made his lunch for the next day. We were in bed around 12, but neither of us were really tired. I don't know why I wasn't, I only had 5 hours of sleep the night before too. But I just wasn't sleepy. We stayed up and had some pretty serious talks, ones that we haven't really had since before he told me that he was leaving in May. Most of it is not really all that interesting, but there was one part that made me sad, and happy, and angry all at once. I'll transcribe it as best I can...

Israeli: You know, sometimes I wish I didn't have a family I was close to.
Me: Why not?
Israeli: Because, you know. I miss them a lot, and I want to live near them, but if I didn't have any family I could live whereever.
Me: Like where?
Israeli: Like here. I could stay here. With you. And you could be home.
Me: (caught off guard - putting up my guard at the same time) That's nice but you have your family, and you can't stay here...
Israeli: I know.

Wow, I am so sweet aren't I? A boy says probably one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me in a long time... and I just bring it right back down. It was a weird moment. We were up really late. We finally fell asleep around 2:30, I got up at 5. I'm exhausted - but last night was a night like we haven't had in a long time.

Just for timeline sake, I've been dating the acupuncturist for over a month now and it will be 4 weeks with the Israeli on Friday. These have been the longest running datees for a while now, with no imminent end (with the exception of a quickly approaching May) in sight.