Chemistry

So, if you've ever dated online, like I have, you may have wondered about those sites that claim to match you with people who are exceptionally compatible for you. eHarmony is one that most people think of, but match has its own variety as well, Chemistry. And by the name, you'd hope that the people you'd be matched with would spark some chemistry.

I've never actively done any of these sites, so I can't really comment. However, every once in a while, Chemistry offers a free weekend, and since I already have the whole profile down, I tried it out. So, the problem is you go through this rigorous matching selection, and you are given matches with whom the computer thinks you'll be compatible, and you really get no say in the matter other than yes or no. So, I chose a few that I thought were ok, based on the very limited profile you get to see, and started communication with one or two. I had to find ways to sneak my email address into the communications because once the weekend was over, I wouldn't be able to email them anymore. So, one guy and I started emailing outside of Chemistry. He seemed ok, a bit older than I usually date, and something seemed, well maybe a bit off. But I'm giving it all a chance these days, so we emailed for about 2 weeks, and decided today to meet up for coffee.

Yawn. Yeah, this date SUCKED. Sorry for not being hopeful or even kind. It was just so painfully boring, I didn't know what to do. I managed to sit through 2 hours of coffee, by just barely staying awake. The conversation was rough. I mean, I know I'm out of practice. It's been over 2 months since my last first date, but things with the bad kisser were WAY better conversationally than with this guy. I felt like our conversational styles did not gel. Is that even possible? Can you not converse well with someone, even if both people are participating in the conversation?

Somehow the conversation came around to beliefs, and I told him that I believed that everything happens for a reason. And he rolled his eyes. Literally. Rolled his eyes in front of me, as if that kind of response is acceptable. So I asked him what he believes in. He told me that he believes in 3 things... Karma, Murphy's Law, and Choice (which I think is a bit ironic for someone who is dating on a website that doesn't allow you choose your own matches!) Ok. I can believe in all of those three things and still believe that my life is leading me somewhere I'm supposed to be. I just have a strong spiritual faith these days, that there are things that are beyond my control, but I will eventually get to exactly where I need to be. Does this mean I'm giving up free will or letting the universe make choices for me? No, in fact, I feel like it's the opposite. I've made a choice. I've chosen to accept the things that happen to me that are beyond my control (even some of the things that I've chosen that are within my control), I make choices all the time, and they will determine the path of my life - which is exactly where it should be, I hope. Anyway, he wasn't saying anything that I really thought was smart or interesting. And he talked a lot about how his Catholic school education was way better than public school education, which as a public school educator... I take offense to. He wasn't particular warm or kind, and I didn't laugh a whole lot. He looked like Ted Bundy from Married with Children (on edit: thanks to Logan - it's Al Bundy, not Ted Bundy who is a serial killer - whoops!) And I imagine that will only get worse as he gets older.

I'm sad that my first date back in so long was such a let down. I have to be honest that I didn't go into with the high hopes I had promised. I knew from the start I wasn't going to really like this guy, I just was hoping that maybe I was wrong from the initial impression he gave. He gave me an awkard hug and a kiss on the cheek when we were leaving, and said that if I wanted to do this again, I should let him know. I wonder if he thought there was something there that I missed?

So, as far as chemistry goes... I'm not sure what the computers could see that I couldn't, but if I rated our chemistry on a scale of 1 - 10, he'd be a negative 3.