Exes and....

Today was one of those days that you always picture in your head. The whole scene of running into an ex and being so much better than you ever were when you were together. That was my day today, except he doesn't know that I'm so much better than I was, that would have required talking to the ex. Yes, the ex I ran into was my boyfriend in high school, so it hardly counts... but he was someone that I had lost touch with and always wondered about. He doesn't have facebook or myspace, and googling his name does me absolutely no good. He was always kind of mysterious to me. I wondered if he was still in the area, and what he was doing with himself and his life. He was the first guy that I ever had any sort of relationship with, the first guy I ever said I love you to, and the first guy anything I did anything intimate with. So, he's left his mark on my life, but seeing him today was the weirdest thing ever.

I have to say that I am very happy with my life right now. I have a boyfriend that treats me better than I ever thought I deserved, I'm happy (enough) with my job and my education status, and even though I'd be happier not living at my parents' house, there's an overall content feeling for my life.

Every Wednesday, my friends and I go to a healthy fast food place after our weekly WW meetings. The owner knows us, the servers know us, we're like celebrities. Or so we like to think. This week we were having our food, and a couple walked in. I turned around briefly and glanced at them. My first thought was, wow, that guy really looks like [high school boyfriend]. I turned back around and said to my friends, I think that's my ex-boyfriend over there. I turned back around and then decided it wasn't him. I wasn't convinced though, so when he went over to the counter to order I could get a better look. Sure enough, it was my ex. With a little bit longer sideburns, shorter hair, and everything else exactly the same. He either had no idea it was me, or did a stellar job ignoring me. I wasn't really going out of my way to talk to him, he was there with a girl, and it was uncertain if they were there on a date or just as friends (they paid separately... that always throws me off!) Once I'm trying to either not notice or really notice someone, I get very self-aware of my behavior and words. I start feeling unnatural and showy, even if I'm not. I figure he MUST have seen me, or he was just really oblivious. We were the only 2 groups of people in the entire place. I thought about going over to say hi to him when the girl he was with went to the bathroom, but he was really not making eye contact at all, so he probably did not want to talk to me. I kind of wish I had, just to say hi, and not be socially weird towards him. It wouldn't have changed anything, it was 10 years ago that we were together, and it's not like there is anything left there attraction-wise.

So, better or not, he's less of a mystery now that I've seen him. A couple of weeks ago, Mr. Perfect met up with me there, and part of me wished that had been the case this week. It's probably better that he didn't, I would have put on a show for sure then. And problems with Mr. Perfect from this weekend have been resolved and rectified... we both overreacted and thought the other was mad. We usually hang out on Wednesday, but due to schedule conflicts, I'm not seeing him until Friday. I'm enjoying missing him this week, and I think it will make our weekend even better.