Last night D and I met up at a friend's bar, where D got to meet one of my best friends. This is a big enough step for me and a significant gesture. This friend did not get to meet the last guy that I dated at length, and insists that I always hide the people I date from my friends. I don't think this is true. All of the guys I have dated at length have, at one time or another, met most of my friends. It's different than having someone meet the family, which I've only had 2 guys meet my parents while I was actually dating them. One of them was my ex who I dated for over 2 years and I lived with him for part of the time, the other...well... I'm not sure why I thought bringing him home would matter. It certainly didn't matter to him. But the latter is the one that 2 of my closest friends in the city did not get to meet, so they are constantly insisting that I hide people when I am dating them. But now neither of them can say anything, one has met D (and currently stands as my only friend who has), and the other was the only person who got to meet T... lot's of good that did!
So I thought the date was going well enough, we had some wine and some food. D got to talk a bit to my friend, and seemed to do just fine with the interactions. We stayed at the bar for about 2 hours, but we were both pretty tired. D made it CLEAR that he did not want to go back to his apartment, and I had noticed he was acting less affectionate than he had on previous dates. I'm a pretty good judge of picking up on subtleties, and I could sense something, though I wasn't sure what, was going to happen before the end of the evening.
We walked down to Rockefeller Center which, for after midnight, was still bustling with tourists and New Year's Eve anticipation. We walked further down to Bryant Park, which was closed... so we sat on the cold marble steps leading up to the park. For it being the 30th of December, and we were able to sit outside for over an hour, I must say the weather is frightening (although we both did get ridiculously cold). Anyway, we had the DTR, but decided to keep things at the status quo. Some points that were brought up lead me to believe that D may not be as far out of his last relationship as he thinks he is or he thinks that I'm expecting this to be more than it is. As a rule for relationships, I've learned not to expect. I don't go into dates wondering if this is going to be the guy I'm going to marry, I am happy with what I have while I have it. No expectations, and if it ends, so be it. I'm not sure really at all what we agreed to really, just that we are going to continue doing things the way that we have been and we're not going to be dating anyone else. His biggest concern was our lack of common interests, which was kind of surprising to me, because we have a lot more common interests than most of the guys I've dated in the past. So I don't know a whole lot about video games and game theory (seriously, I just learned what a Wii was 3 weeks ago...), but that doesn't mean I can't learn. Anyway, nothing was resolved in that area, but I think we're on the same page. We're dating just each other, but keeping things how they have been, which I'm not sure what that means. This was by far the shortest date we've had thus far, clocking in at just under 4 hours. I won't see him for New Year's, which is ok, it's a bit early for that maybe, but I will see him before he goes to Switzerland for the week on business sometime later this week. What this means for the blog though... well as long as he has no complaints, I'll continue what I've been doing (he does read this, so it's not a big secret), and we'll just keep it casual.
1 comment:
This whole similar interests thing always baffles me. I mean, what the heck? It's not like you want to date yourself. I guess some guys DO want to date themselves (the egomaniacs..ahem..Oren). Either way, nothing wrong with learning about someone else's interests. It keeps things more exciting in my opinion! :o)
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