Never in my life have I been caught by my parents, or roommates, or anyone doing anything I wouldn't want them to catch me doing. On Wednesday night, I went out to dinner with Mr. Perfect. He came to my house to pick me up, and no one was home at the time so I invited him in to meet my dog, even though my dog is vicious and doesn't like anyone new. He came in and I was showing him around, when I hear my mom come home. Nothing was going on, so it wasn't a big deal... I just wasn't ready for him to meet my parents just yet. He was very cool about it, and it wasn't a big deal... I was just very scared that would scare him off or something. It didn't.
We went to dinner and I learned new things about him that don't match my criteria, although I'm trying to minimize the amount of criteria that I try to hold him up to. The newest one is that he is not adventurous with his food, and is pretty bland when it comes to what he will eat. I think I knew before that he was a picky eater, but I didn't realize how incredibly picky until Wednesday. I was not thrilled... But that's not a deal breaker. After dinner we went to Barnes and Noble, were I perused books and tried to persuade him that he would like to read some of them (I will try my best to make him a reader!) If anyone has any good book suggestions for a guy who is not a reader, please pass them my way. We picked up some magazines (which he will read) and got some coffee and dessert in the coffee shop. We sat and read and chatted minimally, and it was very comfortable and easy. Sometimes I forget that I've only been dating him for 2 weeks, it seems like much longer.
He drove me back to my parents house and we were making out in the car in the driveway. My mom parks her car in the garage and I already knew she came home. My dad's car was in the driveway, so I just assumed that both my parents were home. We had actually moved to the back seat at one point. I had never seen the point of doing anything in a car before when there are perfectly good houses and bedrooms available. In this case, it wasn't available, but he did offer to drive down to his house (20 minutes) then drive me back (20 mins) and then have to drive back home (20 mins). I told him an hour of driving wasn't worth it, and we didn't need to have sex every time we hung out... but clearly I didn't mean that, and we managed in his car. Things were heating up and I definitely was not entirely clothed when suddenly he stops and says that there is a car at my driveway with it's blinker on. I asked if it was a white car, which would be my mom's, because my dad's was definitely in the driveway. He couldn't tell because the windows were all fogged up, but the car was not moving. The car parked at the foot of the driveway, and it was in fact my mom who had gone back to school for some ungodly reason after already coming home. Mr. Perfect managed to get dressed quicker than I had ever seen anyone dress themselves in such a small space. I on the other hand had no chance of getting dressed quick enough without creating a disturbance and drawing more attention to the car. I pulled his coat over myself and crouched down in hopes of not being seen. We sat very very still. My mom walked right past the car and into the house. I freaked out for a bit, not knowing what she saw or if she saw anything at all. She obviously noticed his car... so we had to be somewhere. When she realized we were not in the house, I figured she'd figure out the rest. After about 15 minutes of freaking out, I finally mustered up the strength to go inside and face my parents. I know my parents aren't dumb, but they did a really good job playing it that night. My mom asked me where we went, and genuinely sounded surprised when I told her that we had been in the car when she came home. She said that she had thought I had snuck Mr. Perfect upstairs when my dad wasn't around... which I think would have been pretty weird.
Mr. Perfect commented at one point how the 20 minute drive to his house didn't seem so silly after all. And I think from now on we'll stick to safe places, as it should be.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Cheating.
I am not cheating on anyone. I just want to put that out there, because my conscious tells me otherwise. I went on a date last night who was not WAG (Updated: he has been renamed "Mr. Perfect" by my brother - irony is everything.) and even though Mr. P and I are not exclusively dating, I felt really really guilty. I had met this guy on Match before I went on my first date with Mr. Perfect, and I thought he seemed ok. I definitely wanted to meet him, but once things picked up with Mr. Perfect I was hoping things with this other guy would just fade and he'd forget about going out. However, that wasn't the case, and I decided after Mr. P told me in passing on Sunday night that he wasn't going to take his Match.com profile down - at least for 6 months, that maybe I should look into other options. We hung out on Sunday night at his place, watched some tv, but mostly didn't watch the tv... it was a really nice night. Nothing noteworthy really to blog about. He still makes me happy, and I'm pretty content with him. So why should I be dating anyone else? Maybe because I'm addicted? Or maybe because I have so many guards up that I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop and can continue my habitual dating patterns.
Back to last night's date. The other guy is in law school at Drexel. He's shorter than me, small in stature, and I didn't feel like we had any real connection. He had mentioned before that he was really shy, but it seemed less like shyness and more like disinterest. However, he kept wanting to prolong the date. We met for drinks at a bar on South Street and 20th. It was a cool bar with a decent beer selection, enough to keep me happy. We ordered a drink, and then this guy suggested we get a table so we can have dinner. We had dinner, and then he wanted to go shoot some pool in the back but there was some kind of tournament going on. I was hoping this would be my out to end this date early, get home, get a good night's sleep... something I've been lacking lately. The other guy had the idea that we should go bowling. I know I like to bowl, but it's definitely not the best first date activity, especially when it's just 2 people. You can't talk to the other person because they are constantly bowling when you're not and vice versa. It's a good date with friends, but 1 on 1, it's a little hard. We went to Lucky Strike which is ridiculously expensive for 2 people to bowl, and I felt bad that he insisted on paying for it. We bowled 2 pretty quick games, which started off with this other guy being a rather atrocious bowler. It was cute because he clearly is not a bowling enthusiast like I am, but he wanted to do something that I wanted to do, and he was trying his best. I gave him some pointers (I'm not the best bowler, but I usually do alright) and he got progressively better throughout the game. He was like my bowling prodigy. After the game we hung out on the couch and were talking for a bit. I pointed out the Flyers game that was on and tied in the third quarter. I knew that he's a huge Flyers fan, and that he probably would rather be watching the game than making small talk with me. I suggested we move over to one of the other couches where we could better watch the game. He was very pleased with this, and all of the sudden he was all over me. It was such a strange transition, I didn't really know how to interpret it. One minute we were barely touching, the next he had his arm around me, rubbing my shoulder as he explained what was going on in the game to me. Clearly all it took was some hockey to break the ice. He explained the whole end of the game to me, overtime and the shoot out, and the Flyers won in the end. It was an exciting game, he told me I was a "good luck charm." He did kiss me as we were hanging out on the couch, and I did kiss him back. He asked me to hang out later this week, but I'm already seeing Mr. Perfect tomorrow, and the rest of my week is booked. I don't know if I will make the effort to see him again, but I'm pretty sure he will. He already texted me today, not 24 hours later. I don't feel guilty about it... at this point it's no different than last year with the acupuncturist and the Israeli.
When Mr. Perfect decides that he wants to date me and only me, then hopefully I will be ready to do the same. For now, I'm going to take it as it come, and stop taking this 2 week thing I have going on with Mr. P so seriously.
Back to last night's date. The other guy is in law school at Drexel. He's shorter than me, small in stature, and I didn't feel like we had any real connection. He had mentioned before that he was really shy, but it seemed less like shyness and more like disinterest. However, he kept wanting to prolong the date. We met for drinks at a bar on South Street and 20th. It was a cool bar with a decent beer selection, enough to keep me happy. We ordered a drink, and then this guy suggested we get a table so we can have dinner. We had dinner, and then he wanted to go shoot some pool in the back but there was some kind of tournament going on. I was hoping this would be my out to end this date early, get home, get a good night's sleep... something I've been lacking lately. The other guy had the idea that we should go bowling. I know I like to bowl, but it's definitely not the best first date activity, especially when it's just 2 people. You can't talk to the other person because they are constantly bowling when you're not and vice versa. It's a good date with friends, but 1 on 1, it's a little hard. We went to Lucky Strike which is ridiculously expensive for 2 people to bowl, and I felt bad that he insisted on paying for it. We bowled 2 pretty quick games, which started off with this other guy being a rather atrocious bowler. It was cute because he clearly is not a bowling enthusiast like I am, but he wanted to do something that I wanted to do, and he was trying his best. I gave him some pointers (I'm not the best bowler, but I usually do alright) and he got progressively better throughout the game. He was like my bowling prodigy. After the game we hung out on the couch and were talking for a bit. I pointed out the Flyers game that was on and tied in the third quarter. I knew that he's a huge Flyers fan, and that he probably would rather be watching the game than making small talk with me. I suggested we move over to one of the other couches where we could better watch the game. He was very pleased with this, and all of the sudden he was all over me. It was such a strange transition, I didn't really know how to interpret it. One minute we were barely touching, the next he had his arm around me, rubbing my shoulder as he explained what was going on in the game to me. Clearly all it took was some hockey to break the ice. He explained the whole end of the game to me, overtime and the shoot out, and the Flyers won in the end. It was an exciting game, he told me I was a "good luck charm." He did kiss me as we were hanging out on the couch, and I did kiss him back. He asked me to hang out later this week, but I'm already seeing Mr. Perfect tomorrow, and the rest of my week is booked. I don't know if I will make the effort to see him again, but I'm pretty sure he will. He already texted me today, not 24 hours later. I don't feel guilty about it... at this point it's no different than last year with the acupuncturist and the Israeli.
When Mr. Perfect decides that he wants to date me and only me, then hopefully I will be ready to do the same. For now, I'm going to take it as it come, and stop taking this 2 week thing I have going on with Mr. P so seriously.
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Snow Day
I used to imagine having a snow day, when I could spend the day with someone, just cuddling and watching movies and getting takeout... and other indoor activities that are appropriate when it snows. I've never had that. Either I've never been dating someone during snow days, or the other person wasn't off of work, or it was too hard to get to the other person's place.
Yesterday was the first snow day of the year. I was ecstatic to be off of school because it was so unexpected. I texted WAG in the morning when I found out I was off to see if his school was closed as well. We had plans to hang out last night, and I figured if we were both off, we could push that up a few hours. He was off too, and we agreed we'd hang out earlier. Because I once got into a bad accident in the snow, I have a fear of driving on bad roads. I know my new car doesn't handle great in the rain, and I didn't want to risk it in the snow. I told him that I was nervous about driving down there because of the roads, and to get to his house there are some back, windy roads that I was sure would not be clear. He offered to come pick me up, since he drives an SUV, and isn't afraid of driving in the snow. This was perfect for me, and he picked me up around 2 in the afternoon. We went to the movie store and picked out 3 movies, one neither of us had seen, one I hadn't seen but he had, and one he hadn't seen but I had. It was a good compromise. We stopped at Wawa for snacks and drinks, and then back to his place. The rest of the day consisted of watching the movies, ordering take-out, cuddling, making out, and one thing leading to another. One thing I can say is that we are extremely compatible in bed, and this is very important to me. There was a lot I didn't write about CK, but we were NOT compatible sexually, and it really was a downer on the relationship. For first times, WAG beats out the Israeli who was the front runner before him. I'm pretty pleased with that. If he wants a girlfriend and can keep this up, I'm willing to play that part.
Needless to say, I spent the night, and in the morning he attempted to make breakfast. After not being able to find a frying pan, and a botched attempt at scrambled eggs in the microwave, I had half a pop-tart, and he had some sausage. After breakfast, we laid around some more, and just enjoyed each other's company for the remainder of the morning. After quite some time, I finally got around to having him drive me home, and it was a long, slow goodbye. After spending nearly 24 hours with a person, I usually am ready for a break. If my sister wasn't coming into town this weekend, I probably could have spent my entire weekend there. That might have been overkill, and we're definitely rushing things. It just feels right at the moment. Yes, there are a lot of ways that he doesn't match what I thought I'm looking for, but everyday that seems to matter less and less.
We had a lot of long talks this week, as usually happens when two people only spend time with each other. I know a lot about his past relationships, and his past experience. He's already told me that he doesn't date more than one girl at a time, so that makes me feel guilty about my date for Monday. I scheduled it before I even met WAG a week ago (it was one of the Sunday dates that was postponed), and while I don't anticipate liking this guy more than this one, I'm not closing off my options just yet.
P.S. I don't like the blog name WAG... it doesn't flow with the writing, if anyone can come up with something better, please by all means, post suggestions!
Yesterday was the first snow day of the year. I was ecstatic to be off of school because it was so unexpected. I texted WAG in the morning when I found out I was off to see if his school was closed as well. We had plans to hang out last night, and I figured if we were both off, we could push that up a few hours. He was off too, and we agreed we'd hang out earlier. Because I once got into a bad accident in the snow, I have a fear of driving on bad roads. I know my new car doesn't handle great in the rain, and I didn't want to risk it in the snow. I told him that I was nervous about driving down there because of the roads, and to get to his house there are some back, windy roads that I was sure would not be clear. He offered to come pick me up, since he drives an SUV, and isn't afraid of driving in the snow. This was perfect for me, and he picked me up around 2 in the afternoon. We went to the movie store and picked out 3 movies, one neither of us had seen, one I hadn't seen but he had, and one he hadn't seen but I had. It was a good compromise. We stopped at Wawa for snacks and drinks, and then back to his place. The rest of the day consisted of watching the movies, ordering take-out, cuddling, making out, and one thing leading to another. One thing I can say is that we are extremely compatible in bed, and this is very important to me. There was a lot I didn't write about CK, but we were NOT compatible sexually, and it really was a downer on the relationship. For first times, WAG beats out the Israeli who was the front runner before him. I'm pretty pleased with that. If he wants a girlfriend and can keep this up, I'm willing to play that part.
Needless to say, I spent the night, and in the morning he attempted to make breakfast. After not being able to find a frying pan, and a botched attempt at scrambled eggs in the microwave, I had half a pop-tart, and he had some sausage. After breakfast, we laid around some more, and just enjoyed each other's company for the remainder of the morning. After quite some time, I finally got around to having him drive me home, and it was a long, slow goodbye. After spending nearly 24 hours with a person, I usually am ready for a break. If my sister wasn't coming into town this weekend, I probably could have spent my entire weekend there. That might have been overkill, and we're definitely rushing things. It just feels right at the moment. Yes, there are a lot of ways that he doesn't match what I thought I'm looking for, but everyday that seems to matter less and less.
We had a lot of long talks this week, as usually happens when two people only spend time with each other. I know a lot about his past relationships, and his past experience. He's already told me that he doesn't date more than one girl at a time, so that makes me feel guilty about my date for Monday. I scheduled it before I even met WAG a week ago (it was one of the Sunday dates that was postponed), and while I don't anticipate liking this guy more than this one, I'm not closing off my options just yet.
P.S. I don't like the blog name WAG... it doesn't flow with the writing, if anyone can come up with something better, please by all means, post suggestions!
Thursday, February 21, 2008
5th Period
Today was the dreaded day. The day my crush showed up in my class 5th period. Now, to be fair, I really don't have a crush on my crush anymore. But I am still embarrassed by the thought of my students plotting our romance in their minds. It was towards the end of the period, the students had just finished up a project that had them pretty riled up to begin with, and then he walked in to drop off the weekly magazines to my class. Usually he just drops them off, waves, and leaves. Today, he stood at the back of my class like he was waiting for me to finish up teaching, like he had something important to say to me. So, I noticed him standing there, but he was in the back, and I was PRAYING that my students wouldn't notice him. I tried to keep them busy by passing out homework, and talking a lot about what they needed to do. But of course they noticed, and of course they had something to say about that too. As soon as they started making comments (oooh Ms. B, do you see who's here? Ms. B, tomorrow is Friday night, what are you doing? Ms. B, why are you turning red??) I almost killed them. And I also found it near impossible to keep a straight face. I turned about 10 shades of red and of course I have a few who take things TOO far (Student M - no surprise. He has very little impulse control.) And my crush ended up having to yell at my students. After that I lined them out, and they were still wild and trying to make comments, but I ushered them out quickly and down the hall to Spanish. Apparently, my crush really wanted to talk to me because he was walking down the hall behind me and my class. I ignored this and just wanted to get my class to Spanish before I had to deal with the humiliation of what just happened in my classroom. As we stopped at the corner, one of the girls keeps saying to me, "Ms. B, turn around." I ignored her. Again, "Ms. B, turn around, there's someone behind you." I continued to ignore her. "Ms. B, Ms. B, turn around!!" I turned another shade of red, probably deeper than before, because if it wasn't apparent to him before what was going on, it definitely was at that point.
I got them to Spanish, and pretty much hid in the teacher's lounge/workroom for 15 minutes. I thought the coast was clear, when I ran into him. Well, actually I was talking to another teacher in the hallway, and I saw him hear my voice, turn around and wait for me. Again. So, I went over and apologized for what he witnessed in my class today. I wanted to tell him that my class has a very active imagination, but that didn't sound like the right way to phrase that, so I just said that they are characters and get a little carried away sometimes. He laughed and said he thought the whole thing was really funny. I can only imagine what he was really thinking. He had nothing important to say to me though. He asked me if I had the unit questions for the chapters we're working on now, which I had already emailed him about last week telling him I didn't have them. He said he'd bring it to our meeting next week, and nothing really was discussed... He made some small talk and told me to tell the other grade level teacher he said hello, and then he left.
I am still mortified by what happened with my class. They thought it was hysterical. If it hadn't happened to me, and it wasn't my supervisor, I'd probably find it funny too. At this point though, I'd be very surprised if I saw him in my 5th period class any time in the near future.
I got them to Spanish, and pretty much hid in the teacher's lounge/workroom for 15 minutes. I thought the coast was clear, when I ran into him. Well, actually I was talking to another teacher in the hallway, and I saw him hear my voice, turn around and wait for me. Again. So, I went over and apologized for what he witnessed in my class today. I wanted to tell him that my class has a very active imagination, but that didn't sound like the right way to phrase that, so I just said that they are characters and get a little carried away sometimes. He laughed and said he thought the whole thing was really funny. I can only imagine what he was really thinking. He had nothing important to say to me though. He asked me if I had the unit questions for the chapters we're working on now, which I had already emailed him about last week telling him I didn't have them. He said he'd bring it to our meeting next week, and nothing really was discussed... He made some small talk and told me to tell the other grade level teacher he said hello, and then he left.
I am still mortified by what happened with my class. They thought it was hysterical. If it hadn't happened to me, and it wasn't my supervisor, I'd probably find it funny too. At this point though, I'd be very surprised if I saw him in my 5th period class any time in the near future.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Standards.
I had every intention of posting this last night... but I didn't get home until almost 1am, and sleep seemed to be the front runner in terms of my priorities.
So last night was my 3rd date with WAG, and it continues to go well. Briefly, dinner and then we went to his place where we made out. I was out way past the time I had planned, but today I managed to get by on just a few hours of sleep. I had that post-good date glow to hold me over. However, I'm not getting my hopes or expectations very high on this one. I had 3 really good dates with The Chin before he bailed... so there's still chance that this one could sour before it goes much further. Although, I have the feeling if this one is going to end it will be on my account, not his. But, I'm enjoying this a lot so far, however that's not without reservation.
When you've dated as much as I have (and let's be honest, I've dated my fair share), it comes with its lot of baggage and hang-ups from previous relationships/dates/interactions/what-have-you. I've also set a lot of standards for myself and what I want in a guy who dates. I've mentioned some of them here before, but just to recap... what I think (and notice I say think because I've never dated my ideal guy, so I'm not sure) I'd like in the guy I eventually end up with:
1. Bachelor's Degree - no. He has his Associates... But surprisingly to myself, I'm more ok with this than I thought. He has a decent job which he really seems to like. He's plenty ambitious, and seems to know what he wants. He's smart and we have good conversation... So I guess this first one doesn't really matter (especially when I went out with guy who is finishing his masters on Monday and nearly died of boredom... sometimes education isn't everything)!
2. Jewish - no. He was raised Methodist... but apparently hasn't been to any kind of service since he was really little. We haven't talked about kids, so that one will have to wait for a later discussion to see how he wants to raise his little ones. (Although he did mention something about a Christmas tree for his future kids and family, but I'm ok with that. I always wanted a Christmas tree, anyway.)
3. Reader - no. This one broke my heart. Over dinner last night we got to talking about reading. And WAG tells me that in his entire life he remembers reading ONE book cover to cover. And it was in the 5th grade. I almost fell off my seat. Even my friends who are not readers (ehm, Debbie...) have read more than ONE book in their life. I was literally dumbfounded. I can't imagine how one person could get through years of school and have only read one book cover to cover. I flat out told him over dinner that I could not date a non reader. I tried to explain how I felt, and he was pretty cool with me telling him that straight out. He says that he wants to try to read, which I think is adorable. I told him that I like to read aloud to people, and he seemed to like that idea of me reading to him. He really does seem genuinely interested in giving reading a try. I have to give him credit for that.
So, he doesn't meet the top three criteria, but I have a really good time when I'm with him, and I really like spending time with him. So maybe all those things are superficial when it comes to building a connection with someone, and I should toss preconceived notions and see where this one goes.
So last night was my 3rd date with WAG, and it continues to go well. Briefly, dinner and then we went to his place where we made out. I was out way past the time I had planned, but today I managed to get by on just a few hours of sleep. I had that post-good date glow to hold me over. However, I'm not getting my hopes or expectations very high on this one. I had 3 really good dates with The Chin before he bailed... so there's still chance that this one could sour before it goes much further. Although, I have the feeling if this one is going to end it will be on my account, not his. But, I'm enjoying this a lot so far, however that's not without reservation.
When you've dated as much as I have (and let's be honest, I've dated my fair share), it comes with its lot of baggage and hang-ups from previous relationships/dates/interactions/what-have-you. I've also set a lot of standards for myself and what I want in a guy who dates. I've mentioned some of them here before, but just to recap... what I think (and notice I say think because I've never dated my ideal guy, so I'm not sure) I'd like in the guy I eventually end up with:
- College Degree - Bachelor's is really the minimum, I'm much more attracted to graduate degrees. Actually, I'm attracted to intelligence, but I really think a college education is important.
- Jewish - this is more for my family (parents and grandparents), I feel a lot of pressure from them actually to marry someone who is Jewish. More than once, both of my grandmothers, and my parents have mentioned that I'm their "only hope" for having a grandchild/child marry someone Jewish. Nothing like pressure. All I really care is that I'm able to raise my (hypothetical) children Jewish.
- A reader - Ok, so this is me being really picky. I really like to date guys who read. I know I've mentioned this one before and I'm not sure why this one is so important to me. I know a lot of people who are avid readers and are with people who don't read. My parents are a classic example of this. My mom likes to read all the time, and when she has the time, she reads a lot. My dad however, if I ever saw him pick up a book to read, it would be the first time in my 27 years. They've been together for over 40 years, married for 35. So clearly my need for a reader is not a necessity, but it's something I've always wanted to share with someone. I remember my early days with the Israeli that we spent reading together, lazy Sunday mornings, it was my idea of a perfect morning.
1.
2.
3.
So, he doesn't meet the top three criteria, but I have a really good time when I'm with him, and I really like spending time with him. So maybe all those things are superficial when it comes to building a connection with someone, and I should toss preconceived notions and see where this one goes.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Double Trouble
Two dates for the price of one... I had a double header tonight (and trust me, I'm on the lookout for cockroaches!) But all in all, it wasn't as exciting as they usually are. My first date was one that I had postponed from this weekend. It wasn't one I was looking forward, and for good reason. I had talked to this guy on the phone before meeting him, and the conversation seemed harder than any I've had before. However I hoped that had to do with him being uncomfortable on the phone, and not really a reflection of how the date would go.
We met up early for coffee in University City. It was a beautiful day when I got there, warm and sunny - very unlike February. He was nice enough, but unfortunately, the conversation was no better than on the phone. We talked for 2 hours, I guess... there were lots of lulls and uncomfortable silences... and I don't think I'm trying as hard as I used to when it comes to making conversations with uber-shy guys. We didn't really talk much about anything more than very surface things, and I felt like there was no natural transition from one topic to the next. It was like one ended, and then I had to come up with a question or comment to start a new conversation. At least twice, I actually made a weather reference (it started raining during the time I was there), and felt like I was actually saying, "so... how about that weather, hmm?" Nothing like bad conversation to make 2 hours feel like 10. Around 6:15, I made about the 10 glance to my watch, and he asked me if I had to go. I said that I should be getting home, and also my meter was going to run out soon. He had to go back to his office on campus to pick up his bike and jacket, and I agreed to drive him back since it was raining. It was awkward and there was very little to say... The goodbye was strange, and I really just wanted him out of my car. I was kind of miserable about the fact that I had wasted the remainder of the nice day and now it was cold and rainy.
Straight from one date to the next, I went to the bowling alley to meet up with the guy from Friday night. I had been wanting to go bowling all weekend, and since it didn't pan out with my friend here, the guy from Friday said he'd go with me today. This guy is the one who really wants a girlfriend (we'll call him WAG for short). He was late, again, and I was on time, surprisingly (even after getting lost briefly around 30th St. Station). We bowled four games, which were all a lot of fun. The only problem is that it's hard to have a conversation with someone while you're both up bowling. Bowling with multiple people would be better as it would give us more of a chance to talk. However, in the short discussions we did have, I found out that he's not so adventurous with his food, and may not eat Thai food... this is obviously a problem for me, but he may be willing to try it. He has some food issues, which make me hesitant, but hopefully they are not too serious. After bowling, he walked me out to my car, which turned into making out in my car. Nothing more than kissing, my car isn't that spacious and there were too many people in and out of the parking lot. I'm not that risqué anyway. I can tell he really likes me, or at least the idea of me. It's definitely hard for me to tell, because he did make it so glaringly clear that he really wants a girlfriend. I don't want to date someone just because they are looking to be with anyone. I'd like to date someone who's genuinely interested in me. It's confusing, and making it hard for me to tell how I feel about him.
However, he isn't reserved about wanting to see me. He asked me out for dinner tomorrow night. This makes 3 dates within 5 days. I may have to slow this one down a bit before we get a little carried away.
We met up early for coffee in University City. It was a beautiful day when I got there, warm and sunny - very unlike February. He was nice enough, but unfortunately, the conversation was no better than on the phone. We talked for 2 hours, I guess... there were lots of lulls and uncomfortable silences... and I don't think I'm trying as hard as I used to when it comes to making conversations with uber-shy guys. We didn't really talk much about anything more than very surface things, and I felt like there was no natural transition from one topic to the next. It was like one ended, and then I had to come up with a question or comment to start a new conversation. At least twice, I actually made a weather reference (it started raining during the time I was there), and felt like I was actually saying, "so... how about that weather, hmm?" Nothing like bad conversation to make 2 hours feel like 10. Around 6:15, I made about the 10 glance to my watch, and he asked me if I had to go. I said that I should be getting home, and also my meter was going to run out soon. He had to go back to his office on campus to pick up his bike and jacket, and I agreed to drive him back since it was raining. It was awkward and there was very little to say... The goodbye was strange, and I really just wanted him out of my car. I was kind of miserable about the fact that I had wasted the remainder of the nice day and now it was cold and rainy.
Straight from one date to the next, I went to the bowling alley to meet up with the guy from Friday night. I had been wanting to go bowling all weekend, and since it didn't pan out with my friend here, the guy from Friday said he'd go with me today. This guy is the one who really wants a girlfriend (we'll call him WAG for short). He was late, again, and I was on time, surprisingly (even after getting lost briefly around 30th St. Station). We bowled four games, which were all a lot of fun. The only problem is that it's hard to have a conversation with someone while you're both up bowling. Bowling with multiple people would be better as it would give us more of a chance to talk. However, in the short discussions we did have, I found out that he's not so adventurous with his food, and may not eat Thai food... this is obviously a problem for me, but he may be willing to try it. He has some food issues, which make me hesitant, but hopefully they are not too serious. After bowling, he walked me out to my car, which turned into making out in my car. Nothing more than kissing, my car isn't that spacious and there were too many people in and out of the parking lot. I'm not that risqué anyway. I can tell he really likes me, or at least the idea of me. It's definitely hard for me to tell, because he did make it so glaringly clear that he really wants a girlfriend. I don't want to date someone just because they are looking to be with anyone. I'd like to date someone who's genuinely interested in me. It's confusing, and making it hard for me to tell how I feel about him.
However, he isn't reserved about wanting to see me. He asked me out for dinner tomorrow night. This makes 3 dates within 5 days. I may have to slow this one down a bit before we get a little carried away.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
1 out of 3
I was supposed to have 3 dates this weekend, however, my friend came down from NYC instead, so 2 of them were canceled. The one that I did get to go on however was pretty good. I wasn't looking forward to this date ahead of time for a few reasons. The first and foremost reason was I knew way too much about this guy and how much he was looking for a relationship prior to meeting him. Also, he seemed to always be on IM, and wanting to have long, drawn out conversations which I just don't have time for. If and when I am on IM, it's usually while I'm working on my computer and don't really have time to have lengthy conversations (kind of defeats the purpose of it, I know.) But, I've done the whole IMing with a guy before you meet him, and then find you have nothing to say to them when it's in person. It's like long phone conversations, or email exchanges that always end in disappointment when you actually meet the person. So I scheduled an early date on Friday, hoping to be home by 8 so I'd have some time with my friend who was leaving to go back to another country, or clean/prepare for my friend's visit to my house.
We had scheduled to meet at 5:30 at a coffee shop. I was early, and he was late. He called to let me know that he wasn't going to make it until a little later, so I settled in and had some coffee. He showed up much closer to 6 than to 5:30, but that's ok. I wasn't in a real rush. He was cute, and we talked for about 2 hours at the coffee shop. Around 8, they started playing live music there, which made it hard to hear, so we decided to go to dinner. We drove across the shopping center to a good Italian restaurant, and proceeded to continue our long conversation. We ended up staying at the restaurant until they were closing around 11. So we had been talking for about 5 hours. This was surprising to me, and I didn't anticipate liking him, so it was a good surprise. I don't know if it's going to go anywhere, but for now, I'll continue seeing him. He IMed me when he got home, and we chatted online for a bit, but again, I don't like talking online as much as he does. We have tentative scheduled plans for Monday night, after I meet up with one of the guys I was supposed to see today. Another one I'm not anticipating going very well or lasting very long.
I will try to provide more detailed accounts of my dates later, I haven't had much time to do anything online this weekend, so more to come. The first of three was good, and maybe the rest that I'm dreading will be good as well! Negative anticipation = Good dates?
We had scheduled to meet at 5:30 at a coffee shop. I was early, and he was late. He called to let me know that he wasn't going to make it until a little later, so I settled in and had some coffee. He showed up much closer to 6 than to 5:30, but that's ok. I wasn't in a real rush. He was cute, and we talked for about 2 hours at the coffee shop. Around 8, they started playing live music there, which made it hard to hear, so we decided to go to dinner. We drove across the shopping center to a good Italian restaurant, and proceeded to continue our long conversation. We ended up staying at the restaurant until they were closing around 11. So we had been talking for about 5 hours. This was surprising to me, and I didn't anticipate liking him, so it was a good surprise. I don't know if it's going to go anywhere, but for now, I'll continue seeing him. He IMed me when he got home, and we chatted online for a bit, but again, I don't like talking online as much as he does. We have tentative scheduled plans for Monday night, after I meet up with one of the guys I was supposed to see today. Another one I'm not anticipating going very well or lasting very long.
I will try to provide more detailed accounts of my dates later, I haven't had much time to do anything online this weekend, so more to come. The first of three was good, and maybe the rest that I'm dreading will be good as well! Negative anticipation = Good dates?
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Be My Valentine.
Happy Valentine's Day to all! I'm so glad today is over, however it was amusing for so many reasons. Besides all the candy and cards students obsess over, Valentine's Day makes students wonder about their teachers' love lives and my 5th period class is way more perceptive than I give them credit for. They were writing Valentine's similes and metaphors as their daily warm up activity, and out of nowhere, the following occurred:
In order to understand today's story I need to flashback to last Thursday's detention with Student M. (There were 3 students total at one point, but at this point he was the only one left)
Student M: Miss B, you're not married are you?
Me: No M, but thanks for asking.
M: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: (feeling slightly uncomfortable) Um, I'm not going to answer that question M, it's time for you to go now anyway.
M: You know, everyone in the class says you like that guy.
Me: What guy? (knowing he's talking about my school crush)
M: You know, the one who brings in the boxes all the time.
Me: I have no idea who you are talking about M, but thanks for telling me.
Today, during the daily 10 minute warm-up, prior to this, the class is silently working:
Student T: You know Miss B, you should date that guy.
Me: T, what are you talking about? And you should be doing your work, not worrying about me.
T: You know the one, with the dark hair.
Student M: Yeah! That's the one I was talking about the other day!
Me: I don't know who you're talking about.
Chorus of many students: You know the one, who brings in the stuff, no he has gray hair, he's old, she already has a boyfriend, no she doesn't! He always comes in, you know him!
Me: (realizing this is going to be problematic) Guys! Enough! I don't know who you are talking about, but really right now, I need you to be focused on your work.
Student D: You do know him, he's the one that always brings in these (holds up the weekly reader that yes, my crush does deliver to my room often).
At this point it would be pointless for me to pretend I didn't know who they were talking about, so I had to play it off as cool as I could...
Me: Oh, you mean my supervisor? (Hoping the word supervisor would mean something more to them than it did!) No... he's my boss, and... (here's where I got stuck..) and, well, no.
Student T: (not backing down) Why don't you go out with him? He's kind of cute. Don't you think?
Me: (turning BEAT RED): T, we are not talking about this. You NEED to do your work.
Chorus: She's BLUSHING. Oh my god! She likes him! Look! She's turning red!!
Me: (Feeling there was no way to properly end this at this point) I am turning red, because this conversation is making me uncomfortable, and it will stop, NOW.
The conversation however continued when my co-worker came over into my room, and I made them repeat what they had told me and got things started again. I somehow managed to mislead them enough to convince them that I did in fact have a boyfriend and was not interested in my crush because he has gray hair (For only 32, he does look a considerable amount older than he is, the graying hair doesn't help). I'm not sure how that whole conversation went. All I know is there was very little Language Arts going on today during 5th period. And I'm praying that he doesn't stop in tomorrow during 5th, like he usually does.
In order to understand today's story I need to flashback to last Thursday's detention with Student M. (There were 3 students total at one point, but at this point he was the only one left)
Student M: Miss B, you're not married are you?
Me: No M, but thanks for asking.
M: Do you have a boyfriend?
Me: (feeling slightly uncomfortable) Um, I'm not going to answer that question M, it's time for you to go now anyway.
M: You know, everyone in the class says you like that guy.
Me: What guy? (knowing he's talking about my school crush)
M: You know, the one who brings in the boxes all the time.
Me: I have no idea who you are talking about M, but thanks for telling me.
Today, during the daily 10 minute warm-up, prior to this, the class is silently working:
Student T: You know Miss B, you should date that guy.
Me: T, what are you talking about? And you should be doing your work, not worrying about me.
T: You know the one, with the dark hair.
Student M: Yeah! That's the one I was talking about the other day!
Me: I don't know who you're talking about.
Chorus of many students: You know the one, who brings in the stuff, no he has gray hair, he's old, she already has a boyfriend, no she doesn't! He always comes in, you know him!
Me: (realizing this is going to be problematic) Guys! Enough! I don't know who you are talking about, but really right now, I need you to be focused on your work.
Student D: You do know him, he's the one that always brings in these (holds up the weekly reader that yes, my crush does deliver to my room often).
At this point it would be pointless for me to pretend I didn't know who they were talking about, so I had to play it off as cool as I could...
Me: Oh, you mean my supervisor? (Hoping the word supervisor would mean something more to them than it did!) No... he's my boss, and... (here's where I got stuck..) and, well, no.
Student T: (not backing down) Why don't you go out with him? He's kind of cute. Don't you think?
Me: (turning BEAT RED): T, we are not talking about this. You NEED to do your work.
Chorus: She's BLUSHING. Oh my god! She likes him! Look! She's turning red!!
Me: (Feeling there was no way to properly end this at this point) I am turning red, because this conversation is making me uncomfortable, and it will stop, NOW.
The conversation however continued when my co-worker came over into my room, and I made them repeat what they had told me and got things started again. I somehow managed to mislead them enough to convince them that I did in fact have a boyfriend and was not interested in my crush because he has gray hair (For only 32, he does look a considerable amount older than he is, the graying hair doesn't help). I'm not sure how that whole conversation went. All I know is there was very little Language Arts going on today during 5th period. And I'm praying that he doesn't stop in tomorrow during 5th, like he usually does.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Chin Up
I did hang out with the Chin on Saturday, and as expected it was completely 100% platonic. He came over to my place, and my parents were in California for the weekend, so if ever there was a time that something could have happened.... that would have been it. However, he came over around 5ish, we watched some movies, ate pizza, drank beer, and then he left. Nothing romantic or intimate about it at all. I think it was good for me because before Saturday I had all these unresolved emotions towards the Chin. After seeing him, I'm not really so sure what I was so caught up with in the first place. I'm pretty sure I like the idea of him a lot more than I was actually liking him. So now that it is resolved, I'm quite content moving on. Will that be the last of the the big Chin? I don't know, but I am definitely not interested in trying so hard anymore.
I have two dates scheduled for this weekend. I have one on Friday and one on Sunday. I'm not really looking forward to either one of them, as I don't think either is a good match for me. The one on Friday REALLY wants a girlfriend. And the fact that I know that before going out with him does not speak well for how reserved he's being. Sunday's date seems nice enough, but I'm not sure that I feel any kind of connection to him. We talked on the phone last night, but it wasn't really a great connection on either part. So... we'll see how they go, I'm going into them feeling like I just need to get through them... I guess I'll just have to keep a positive attitude, and eh... chin up, I guess.
I have two dates scheduled for this weekend. I have one on Friday and one on Sunday. I'm not really looking forward to either one of them, as I don't think either is a good match for me. The one on Friday REALLY wants a girlfriend. And the fact that I know that before going out with him does not speak well for how reserved he's being. Sunday's date seems nice enough, but I'm not sure that I feel any kind of connection to him. We talked on the phone last night, but it wasn't really a great connection on either part. So... we'll see how they go, I'm going into them feeling like I just need to get through them... I guess I'll just have to keep a positive attitude, and eh... chin up, I guess.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
Dateaholic
Hi. My name is [insert my name here], and I'm a dateaholic.
The first step is admitting you have a problem? I am trying to take a break from dating, really really I am!! But unfortunately, I have a problem. And this problem forces me to seek out dates all the time. So, while the plan was to take a few months for myself, and not date anyone at all... here I am planning dates with about 3 different guys. I have strayed a bit from the traditional match.com and jdate guys (which answers a question posted earlier and I do not just date guys from jdate!) and have moved to some of the newer, quirkier *free* dating sites. These include - OkCupid, PlentyofFish (I've just looked at this one, nothing posted there), and my age old standby for free dating - Craigslist. I am addicted to dating. I'm not sure if I am addicted to the actual process of finding a date, or going on the date, but whatever it is, I am finding it hard to break the habit.
And on top of all that, I'm supposed to hang out with Chin Guy tonight. This will be the first time that we've hung out since the really nice dinner date that apparently scared him away. I think we're hanging out just as friends. I'm not sure. Now that there are a few other guys in the prospective future for dates, he's definitely less appealing as a potential datee, but I'm looking forward to seeing him. I'm sure it will be nothing exciting, and really we'll just watch a movie or get some food... but I'm curious to see how this will all pan out.
I've been considering starting a new blog as well, a food/diet blog (my sister just started one, and it inspired me to), less exciting than dates, but I'll link it to here if I get it up and running. I guess I'm a blogaholic too.
The first step is admitting you have a problem? I am trying to take a break from dating, really really I am!! But unfortunately, I have a problem. And this problem forces me to seek out dates all the time. So, while the plan was to take a few months for myself, and not date anyone at all... here I am planning dates with about 3 different guys. I have strayed a bit from the traditional match.com and jdate guys (which answers a question posted earlier and I do not just date guys from jdate!) and have moved to some of the newer, quirkier *free* dating sites. These include - OkCupid, PlentyofFish (I've just looked at this one, nothing posted there), and my age old standby for free dating - Craigslist. I am addicted to dating. I'm not sure if I am addicted to the actual process of finding a date, or going on the date, but whatever it is, I am finding it hard to break the habit.
And on top of all that, I'm supposed to hang out with Chin Guy tonight. This will be the first time that we've hung out since the really nice dinner date that apparently scared him away. I think we're hanging out just as friends. I'm not sure. Now that there are a few other guys in the prospective future for dates, he's definitely less appealing as a potential datee, but I'm looking forward to seeing him. I'm sure it will be nothing exciting, and really we'll just watch a movie or get some food... but I'm curious to see how this will all pan out.
I've been considering starting a new blog as well, a food/diet blog (my sister just started one, and it inspired me to), less exciting than dates, but I'll link it to here if I get it up and running. I guess I'm a blogaholic too.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Just Friends
So not much has changed in a week's time. I have spoken with the New Guy, but have not seen him. I sent him a text message last Monday morning, basically apologizing for whatever I did that was so offensive (it was said nicer, with much less bitterness, but that's the basic gist). He wrote back almost immediately (keep in mind he hadn't responded to anything since telling me he couldn't hang out on Saturday), and said not to worry, he just was really busy, and he told me he worked a lot. I'm cranky early in the morning, so I took this and responded with a condescending, of course you did tell me that, and how inconsiderate of me to bother you this weekend (when we HAD plans). Ok, I left out the when we had plans part... but again, the basic gist. I spend the remainder of the day, hashing out with my friends why he clearly was not worth my time. 1) younger than me, 2) shorter than me, 3) big chin. Yeah, he had a rather overbearing chin, which could have provided a good blog name, but I didn't want to emphasize the faults of someone I was clearly interested in. It does dominate his facial features though, making the slope of his face crescent moon like. It's not terrible, and obviously didn't stop me from being attracted to him... but something to note, especially when trying to find fault.
So Monday, I came to terms with my friends that really, I should just get over this, and the only other time I ever reacted this way with a guy was with T. And for the same reasons... complete change in behavior coupled with dropping off the face of the earth. At least he had texted me back, so I knew in fact he was alive. Who then calls me, Monday night? Chin guy. I was hesitant to answer because I didn't want to have to defend or apologize for my snarky text earlier that day, but it wasn't brought up. We chatted on the phone like nothing ever happened. Of course this leaves me dumbfounded, and confused about what is going on. I let it go, and on Wednesday sent him a text just saying that I hoped he was having a good time in DC, and was he having fun? He sent back this long, drawn out text message complete with how his week was so busy, and he wasn't going to have any free time anytime soon... so we should just be friends. Uhhhh. what? I don't know where that came from. I sent him a message back saying that was fine with me, although I don't know what that means really, and if he's not interested, he should just come out and tell me, I can take it. He texted me back that he doesn't know what that means either, but with being so busy, he doesn't want me to wait for him. As if I was. I decided this needed to be settled once and for all on the phone, so I called him. We talked for an hour and half, and absolutely nothing was defined. I told him being friends seems silly because if he doesn't have time to date me, why would I want a friend I never saw? And he went on to say how much he likes spending time with me and talking to me, but doesn't think he can give me the time that I want right now. I thought about it, and not once did I ever ask to see him. He always made the plans, so something I did made it seem like I was especially needy. In any case, I don't think I'm dating him, especially since it's been a week and a half since I've seen him. But we're not friends. And I don't think he's not interested, but I don't think he's overwhelmingly into me either.
We texted back and forth a couple of times this weekend. There has been no mention of future plans, and I'm not going to bring it up. I'm not really seeking out new dates at this time, but it's not because I'm waiting for this guy. I'm exhausted from dating all the time, I went through my past 3 years of being single, and I've been dating someone in one form or another for the past 3 years, with less than a month in between.
So Monday, I came to terms with my friends that really, I should just get over this, and the only other time I ever reacted this way with a guy was with T. And for the same reasons... complete change in behavior coupled with dropping off the face of the earth. At least he had texted me back, so I knew in fact he was alive. Who then calls me, Monday night? Chin guy. I was hesitant to answer because I didn't want to have to defend or apologize for my snarky text earlier that day, but it wasn't brought up. We chatted on the phone like nothing ever happened. Of course this leaves me dumbfounded, and confused about what is going on. I let it go, and on Wednesday sent him a text just saying that I hoped he was having a good time in DC, and was he having fun? He sent back this long, drawn out text message complete with how his week was so busy, and he wasn't going to have any free time anytime soon... so we should just be friends. Uhhhh. what? I don't know where that came from. I sent him a message back saying that was fine with me, although I don't know what that means really, and if he's not interested, he should just come out and tell me, I can take it. He texted me back that he doesn't know what that means either, but with being so busy, he doesn't want me to wait for him. As if I was. I decided this needed to be settled once and for all on the phone, so I called him. We talked for an hour and half, and absolutely nothing was defined. I told him being friends seems silly because if he doesn't have time to date me, why would I want a friend I never saw? And he went on to say how much he likes spending time with me and talking to me, but doesn't think he can give me the time that I want right now. I thought about it, and not once did I ever ask to see him. He always made the plans, so something I did made it seem like I was especially needy. In any case, I don't think I'm dating him, especially since it's been a week and a half since I've seen him. But we're not friends. And I don't think he's not interested, but I don't think he's overwhelmingly into me either.
We texted back and forth a couple of times this weekend. There has been no mention of future plans, and I'm not going to bring it up. I'm not really seeking out new dates at this time, but it's not because I'm waiting for this guy. I'm exhausted from dating all the time, I went through my past 3 years of being single, and I've been dating someone in one form or another for the past 3 years, with less than a month in between.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Fool Me Once.
Well, it seems I have jumped to conclusions with the new guy. There will be no DTR this weekend, and no need for a blog name because I'm done. (Thanks for all the suggestions though! I think I should have a blog name contest for the next guy who needs one!)
We originally had plans to hang out on Saturday as I had mentioned in the previous post. By Friday night, I hadn't heard from him at all since Wednesday, so I sent him a text that just said, 'still on for tomorrow?' I didn't hear back from him Friday night or Saturday morning. Around noon, on Saturday I got a text that said that he had to work and get his stuff together for an unexpected trip to DC. Ok... so it's probably not a lie, and I'm sure he had a lot of work to do. I'm still dealing with the fact that I'm so jaded from CK that I automatically disbelieve everything that is told to me. It's not that I think he's lying, and he might be, but it's more that he texted me the day of the planned date. If he had a trip to DC, then he probably found out about it on Friday at the latest, and could have called or texted me before I had to inquire if we were still in fact on for that day. And even if he did for some reason find out about it on Saturday, then he should have called to tell me. Anyway, I decided, though, to give him the benefit of the doubt and not completely write him off yesterday. I chalked a lot of my initial anger and upset to the fact that I was having a really awful day. I had yet another flat tire on my less than 4 month old car, and went to go get the tires checked out once and for all. I waited around for an hour and half, only for the mechanic to tell me that there was nothing they could do for me because there was no relock key and they refused to blow the lock off the tire because they didn't want to be responsible for any damage done to my car. I also found out that my checking account has been compromised and someone has my routing and account numbers and is using it sign up for adult services websites. Awesome. So now I have to deal with changing my entire account over, and making sure I include to transfer everything that is connected to that account. And never use my checking account for anything again, because clearly the internet is an unsafe place.
So basically, my day yesterday sucked. Thankfully, I have great friends who took me out and got me drunk on wine, and all is good in the world again. Today, still deciding that this new guy needs a chance to redeem himself or at least prove that he's man enough to tell me he's not interested in person, I decided to call. I left a very friendly voicemail, just asking him how his weekend was, that I had been looking forward to seeing him this weekend, and maybe we'd hang out when he got back from DC. I have heard nothing back from him. Yes, it's only been a couple of hours since I called, but after 3 years of serial dating, the signs are pretty clear, pretty fast. Of course, when you're waiting for news from one guys, old ones resurface. That's right... who of all people texted me today? CK. No worries, I'm not getting back into that. But I find it so ironic that as soon as I'm wanting to hear from someone else, others resurface. It's like a scent they can detect or something.
Back to square one. I'm bummed that things didn't work out with this guy, but at least I know early enough that I wont be scarred like others have done. I've been here enough over the past few years, but when I look at where I was a year ago, just meeting the Israeli... and dating the acupuncturist, and 2 years ago with my ex who was unemotionally available and I should never have dated, and 3 years ago when I was single and happy... I think I'm glad to be back where I first started. Again, I'm swearing off dating for now... but that never lasts. I'm sure I'll be back in the scene in no time.
We originally had plans to hang out on Saturday as I had mentioned in the previous post. By Friday night, I hadn't heard from him at all since Wednesday, so I sent him a text that just said, 'still on for tomorrow?' I didn't hear back from him Friday night or Saturday morning. Around noon, on Saturday I got a text that said that he had to work and get his stuff together for an unexpected trip to DC. Ok... so it's probably not a lie, and I'm sure he had a lot of work to do. I'm still dealing with the fact that I'm so jaded from CK that I automatically disbelieve everything that is told to me. It's not that I think he's lying, and he might be, but it's more that he texted me the day of the planned date. If he had a trip to DC, then he probably found out about it on Friday at the latest, and could have called or texted me before I had to inquire if we were still in fact on for that day. And even if he did for some reason find out about it on Saturday, then he should have called to tell me. Anyway, I decided, though, to give him the benefit of the doubt and not completely write him off yesterday. I chalked a lot of my initial anger and upset to the fact that I was having a really awful day. I had yet another flat tire on my less than 4 month old car, and went to go get the tires checked out once and for all. I waited around for an hour and half, only for the mechanic to tell me that there was nothing they could do for me because there was no relock key and they refused to blow the lock off the tire because they didn't want to be responsible for any damage done to my car. I also found out that my checking account has been compromised and someone has my routing and account numbers and is using it sign up for adult services websites. Awesome. So now I have to deal with changing my entire account over, and making sure I include to transfer everything that is connected to that account. And never use my checking account for anything again, because clearly the internet is an unsafe place.
So basically, my day yesterday sucked. Thankfully, I have great friends who took me out and got me drunk on wine, and all is good in the world again. Today, still deciding that this new guy needs a chance to redeem himself or at least prove that he's man enough to tell me he's not interested in person, I decided to call. I left a very friendly voicemail, just asking him how his weekend was, that I had been looking forward to seeing him this weekend, and maybe we'd hang out when he got back from DC. I have heard nothing back from him. Yes, it's only been a couple of hours since I called, but after 3 years of serial dating, the signs are pretty clear, pretty fast. Of course, when you're waiting for news from one guys, old ones resurface. That's right... who of all people texted me today? CK. No worries, I'm not getting back into that. But I find it so ironic that as soon as I'm wanting to hear from someone else, others resurface. It's like a scent they can detect or something.
Back to square one. I'm bummed that things didn't work out with this guy, but at least I know early enough that I wont be scarred like others have done. I've been here enough over the past few years, but when I look at where I was a year ago, just meeting the Israeli... and dating the acupuncturist, and 2 years ago with my ex who was unemotionally available and I should never have dated, and 3 years ago when I was single and happy... I think I'm glad to be back where I first started. Again, I'm swearing off dating for now... but that never lasts. I'm sure I'll be back in the scene in no time.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Just dinner.
I think I may be in the beginning stages of a relationship with the new guy. I'm pretty sure he's interested in pursuing a relationship, and it seems to be heading in that direction. I'd be happy to hang up my dating hats, and be with this one guy. The more time I spend with him, the more I enjoy his company, the more attracted I am to him.
Tonight we just went to dinner. We met up around 6:30, and then he told me that he had to work from home tonight so he wouldn't be able to stay out late. However, he did invite me to come hang out with him while he worked. We split 2 appetizers, and a meal, and a few beers (the beers were not shared). We talked and held hands across the table. We were cheesy and people probably thought we were lame, and it was really nice. We have plans for Saturday night. It will be the 3rd time in one week that we're going out, so that to me says more than dating... but we're not there yet. The DTR may be just around the corner... within a week or so, maybe less.
When it was time to go, he walked me out to my car and kissed me goodbye before heading back to do some work. I sent him a text thanking him for dinner, and he texted me back, and we got into a bit of a text message conversation. I felt bad because I felt like I was keeping him from his work, but my theory on texts is that there is always the option not to respond. I kept responding to his texts and, in my mind, if he were really busy with work, he could text me back in an hour or tomorrow or whenever he was done with whatever it is he's doing. Eventually, he just called me, and we spoke for about 10 minutes about how he's not getting anything done anyway, so he should just come over here. My powers of persuasion are lacking. He said he'd call me tomorrow, and I'm sure he will. I don't have any reasons to doubt him or mistrust him.
Things are progressing nicely. Not too fast, nothing too serious. I need to keep reminding myself to keep the bitter negative sarcasm to myself, at least until he gets a better picture of where that stems from (which hopefully, he never will). I don't want to come off as needy or overbearing, so I play the opposite. I'm sure that doesn't do any better for my case. Plus, I still can't think of a name for him. Initials seem to lack his personality, I want something original. I'll probably think of it when I blog the last date we have. Ahhhh, cynicism.
Tonight we just went to dinner. We met up around 6:30, and then he told me that he had to work from home tonight so he wouldn't be able to stay out late. However, he did invite me to come hang out with him while he worked. We split 2 appetizers, and a meal, and a few beers (the beers were not shared). We talked and held hands across the table. We were cheesy and people probably thought we were lame, and it was really nice. We have plans for Saturday night. It will be the 3rd time in one week that we're going out, so that to me says more than dating... but we're not there yet. The DTR may be just around the corner... within a week or so, maybe less.
When it was time to go, he walked me out to my car and kissed me goodbye before heading back to do some work. I sent him a text thanking him for dinner, and he texted me back, and we got into a bit of a text message conversation. I felt bad because I felt like I was keeping him from his work, but my theory on texts is that there is always the option not to respond. I kept responding to his texts and, in my mind, if he were really busy with work, he could text me back in an hour or tomorrow or whenever he was done with whatever it is he's doing. Eventually, he just called me, and we spoke for about 10 minutes about how he's not getting anything done anyway, so he should just come over here. My powers of persuasion are lacking. He said he'd call me tomorrow, and I'm sure he will. I don't have any reasons to doubt him or mistrust him.
Things are progressing nicely. Not too fast, nothing too serious. I need to keep reminding myself to keep the bitter negative sarcasm to myself, at least until he gets a better picture of where that stems from (which hopefully, he never will). I don't want to come off as needy or overbearing, so I play the opposite. I'm sure that doesn't do any better for my case. Plus, I still can't think of a name for him. Initials seem to lack his personality, I want something original. I'll probably think of it when I blog the last date we have. Ahhhh, cynicism.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Jaded
I am jaded. I hadn't realized my negativity towards dating until I very nearly ruined a good thing. Last night was date #2 with the Quizzo guy from last Monday. He called me 2 days after our date last week, and had wanted to set up a date for this past weekend. But as I mentioned before this past weekend was the annual camping weekend, so the date had to be postponed until after the weekend. We arranged to possibly go out on Monday night when I came back from the Poconos. We talked on the phone Saturday night while I was away and confirmed plans for last night.
The whole date felt like it could have potentially taken place 10 years ago when I was in high school. He picked me up at my house, which is something I haven't had a guy do in a very long time (not counting the last time that CK and I went out - because I don't count that) and we drove over to the movie theater. He had to stop at the coffee shop nearby for some internet use, for something he had to do for work. I was expecting him to take out his laptop and ignore me while he worked, but he was really cool about it. He showed me what he was doing, and even though I didn't fully understand all that he was telling me about supply and demand, it was kind of interesting. It was a small gesture, but it was so open, and I had realized how closed off CK had actually been until something as small as showing me an email and a database from work made me feel closer to this guy on a certain level than I had ever been with CK.
We went to dinner at a great sushi place and then to the movie afterwards. It was still a little awkward physically between us because I don't think either of us knew how the other one was feeling. We eventually moved into a cuddly position during the movie, with his arm around me, and my arm on his leg. Very comfortable, very natural, the whole time. After the movie, he drove me back to my place. We made out in my car for a while sitting parked in the driveway of my parents' house. At one point he made a comment about how he was kind of nervous that my dad was going to come out and bang on the windshield or something. I told him not to worry, my dad isn't the kind of dad to bang on windshields. Besides, at 27 after having lived with a guy before for over a year, and on my own in the city for over two, my dad is going to have to come to terms with the fact that I may kiss a boy or two in the driveway of his house. My date mentioned that he will definitely be the type of father to bang on the windshield of his daughter's car if she is ever making out in the driveway. I didn't want to get into the discussion of my ideas of how I will or will allow my non-existent children to kiss their non-existent boy/girlfriends, so the topic was dropped, quickly. We made out for quite a while, and finally, he really had to go because he had to work early this morning. After we said a rather long goodbye, he left. I noticed as he pulled out of the driveway that his lights were off, and I wanted to send him a text to tell him to turn them on. As I looked for my phone in my bag, it was no where to be found. I was sure that I had it when I left the movie theater and in the car as well. The only logical thing was that it had fallen out in his car.
I tried calling the phone a few times, but it was on vibrate, and I doubt he would have answered it anyway. I had to look up his phone number in my cell phone account under the most recent billing section, and call him from my parents' home phone. I must have called 3 times (left 1 message, explaining the unknown number and why I was calling) before I got a hold of him. He offered to turn back around and bring me my phone, but I didn't want him to have to come all the way back here. He had driven a good portion of the afternoon from North Jersey, and then drove me around all night, so I went to his place. The only thing I was really worried about was him looking in my phone at my sent/received text messages. Not that I don't trust him (or do, he's given me no reason to trust him or not)... but if I were in that situation, I can't promise I wouldn't sneak a peak at them. I got to his house and was expecting him to just give me my phone, and I'd be going home. But of course he invited me in, and gave me the tour of his house. We made out in the hallway and then in his bedroom for about an hour until it really was getting very late, and I had to get home. We made plans to see each other on Wednesday (tomorrow at this point), and he said to me as I was leaving that he'd give me a call. For some reason, and I still can't figure out why I said this, I said, oh sure, I'll hold my breath - very sarcastically.
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew that I should not have said that. He responded with a completely justified and puzzled, what?? And I apologized, blamed it on my extreme tiredness and the fact that we had been sarcastically bantering for the majority of the evening. I am so jaded from dating at this point, I can't stop myself from saying something that I wasn't even feeling at the time. I beat myself up over it for most of the day, and I'm not sure that he even cared that I said it. My friends blame it on CK, and say that I'm punishing this new guy for CK's actions. I think it goes back further than CK. I've been dating, really, for over 3 years at this point. And yes, there were some short lived relationships in there, nothing past 5 months, and each one of them brought down a notch in my belief that guys are honest and don't have ulterior motives in their behavior.
Hopefully, tomorrow's date is still on. A blog name for him hasn't struck me yet, for now he'll just be the new guy. He's really everything I've looked for these past 3 years (despite being a bit shorter than me - something I can live with), and seems to want similar things. I'm hoping I don't screw this up royally.
The whole date felt like it could have potentially taken place 10 years ago when I was in high school. He picked me up at my house, which is something I haven't had a guy do in a very long time (not counting the last time that CK and I went out - because I don't count that) and we drove over to the movie theater. He had to stop at the coffee shop nearby for some internet use, for something he had to do for work. I was expecting him to take out his laptop and ignore me while he worked, but he was really cool about it. He showed me what he was doing, and even though I didn't fully understand all that he was telling me about supply and demand, it was kind of interesting. It was a small gesture, but it was so open, and I had realized how closed off CK had actually been until something as small as showing me an email and a database from work made me feel closer to this guy on a certain level than I had ever been with CK.
We went to dinner at a great sushi place and then to the movie afterwards. It was still a little awkward physically between us because I don't think either of us knew how the other one was feeling. We eventually moved into a cuddly position during the movie, with his arm around me, and my arm on his leg. Very comfortable, very natural, the whole time. After the movie, he drove me back to my place. We made out in my car for a while sitting parked in the driveway of my parents' house. At one point he made a comment about how he was kind of nervous that my dad was going to come out and bang on the windshield or something. I told him not to worry, my dad isn't the kind of dad to bang on windshields. Besides, at 27 after having lived with a guy before for over a year, and on my own in the city for over two, my dad is going to have to come to terms with the fact that I may kiss a boy or two in the driveway of his house. My date mentioned that he will definitely be the type of father to bang on the windshield of his daughter's car if she is ever making out in the driveway. I didn't want to get into the discussion of my ideas of how I will or will allow my non-existent children to kiss their non-existent boy/girlfriends, so the topic was dropped, quickly. We made out for quite a while, and finally, he really had to go because he had to work early this morning. After we said a rather long goodbye, he left. I noticed as he pulled out of the driveway that his lights were off, and I wanted to send him a text to tell him to turn them on. As I looked for my phone in my bag, it was no where to be found. I was sure that I had it when I left the movie theater and in the car as well. The only logical thing was that it had fallen out in his car.
I tried calling the phone a few times, but it was on vibrate, and I doubt he would have answered it anyway. I had to look up his phone number in my cell phone account under the most recent billing section, and call him from my parents' home phone. I must have called 3 times (left 1 message, explaining the unknown number and why I was calling) before I got a hold of him. He offered to turn back around and bring me my phone, but I didn't want him to have to come all the way back here. He had driven a good portion of the afternoon from North Jersey, and then drove me around all night, so I went to his place. The only thing I was really worried about was him looking in my phone at my sent/received text messages. Not that I don't trust him (or do, he's given me no reason to trust him or not)... but if I were in that situation, I can't promise I wouldn't sneak a peak at them. I got to his house and was expecting him to just give me my phone, and I'd be going home. But of course he invited me in, and gave me the tour of his house. We made out in the hallway and then in his bedroom for about an hour until it really was getting very late, and I had to get home. We made plans to see each other on Wednesday (tomorrow at this point), and he said to me as I was leaving that he'd give me a call. For some reason, and I still can't figure out why I said this, I said, oh sure, I'll hold my breath - very sarcastically.
As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew that I should not have said that. He responded with a completely justified and puzzled, what?? And I apologized, blamed it on my extreme tiredness and the fact that we had been sarcastically bantering for the majority of the evening. I am so jaded from dating at this point, I can't stop myself from saying something that I wasn't even feeling at the time. I beat myself up over it for most of the day, and I'm not sure that he even cared that I said it. My friends blame it on CK, and say that I'm punishing this new guy for CK's actions. I think it goes back further than CK. I've been dating, really, for over 3 years at this point. And yes, there were some short lived relationships in there, nothing past 5 months, and each one of them brought down a notch in my belief that guys are honest and don't have ulterior motives in their behavior.
Hopefully, tomorrow's date is still on. A blog name for him hasn't struck me yet, for now he'll just be the new guy. He's really everything I've looked for these past 3 years (despite being a bit shorter than me - something I can live with), and seems to want similar things. I'm hoping I don't screw this up royally.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Mmmm... brains
Maybe I'm on a lucky streak? 2 good dates in a row? With 2 different guys? This is something completely unheard of. I'm sure it has something to do with the awesome new shoes I've been rockin' all week (please note the pink elephant located on these sweet shoes)!
Regardless of my fancy footwear, which my date did compliment tonight, it was another fairly spectacular event. Not as intricate in the details as last night, but still a really good time overall. I met up with this guy in Philly. He lives near the art museum so we decided to meet near there at a local coffee shop. It was very cool, and we were pretty comfortable with each from the get-go. We had a lot to talk about, which isn't surprising to me, but it was in the aspect that I didn't feel like we talked about date type things. There was very little small talk, and a lot of deep discussion going on. I felt like he was someone I could talk to for hours.
We had coffee, and talked for nearly 2 and half hours and we really talked about everything ranging from politics to music to marriage (not between us of course, just the idea of it in general). It was natural and very non-date like. I had a large cup of coffee, on top of the excessive amounts of caffeine I had already consumed today, I talked a blue streak. I don't think he minded too much, he seems like the good listener type. I did apologize a few times for the amount that I was dominating the conversation, but he claimed he was very interested in what I was saying. And I really believe him. He asked me plenty of questions about myself, and I did the same. There was a natural give and take of the conversation. I know it's not the longest date I've ever had, and usually anything clocking in under 3 hours I usually write off as not enough time to make a good judgment call. However, because this date was just coffee, and no meal or activity to distract from the conversation, I will chalk it up to a pretty successful date. We parted ways around 8:45, so exactly 2.5 hours. The goodbye was a little awkward, he mentioned that he had been really nervous about the date prior, but had a really good time. I agreed and he said that he'd give me a call. No hugs, no kisses, nothing physical at all. I'm ok with that, because it wasn't that kind of date. I hope he calls. Whether he will or not, I'm not sure, but at this point I'm glad just to be dating intelligent people again (not that CK wasn't smart, we just never really had any conversations that struck me as intellectual), and getting my brain back into this dating business. I've decided I'll take brains over brawn any day of the week.
Regardless of my fancy footwear, which my date did compliment tonight, it was another fairly spectacular event. Not as intricate in the details as last night, but still a really good time overall. I met up with this guy in Philly. He lives near the art museum so we decided to meet near there at a local coffee shop. It was very cool, and we were pretty comfortable with each from the get-go. We had a lot to talk about, which isn't surprising to me, but it was in the aspect that I didn't feel like we talked about date type things. There was very little small talk, and a lot of deep discussion going on. I felt like he was someone I could talk to for hours.
We had coffee, and talked for nearly 2 and half hours and we really talked about everything ranging from politics to music to marriage (not between us of course, just the idea of it in general). It was natural and very non-date like. I had a large cup of coffee, on top of the excessive amounts of caffeine I had already consumed today, I talked a blue streak. I don't think he minded too much, he seems like the good listener type. I did apologize a few times for the amount that I was dominating the conversation, but he claimed he was very interested in what I was saying. And I really believe him. He asked me plenty of questions about myself, and I did the same. There was a natural give and take of the conversation. I know it's not the longest date I've ever had, and usually anything clocking in under 3 hours I usually write off as not enough time to make a good judgment call. However, because this date was just coffee, and no meal or activity to distract from the conversation, I will chalk it up to a pretty successful date. We parted ways around 8:45, so exactly 2.5 hours. The goodbye was a little awkward, he mentioned that he had been really nervous about the date prior, but had a really good time. I agreed and he said that he'd give me a call. No hugs, no kisses, nothing physical at all. I'm ok with that, because it wasn't that kind of date. I hope he calls. Whether he will or not, I'm not sure, but at this point I'm glad just to be dating intelligent people again (not that CK wasn't smart, we just never really had any conversations that struck me as intellectual), and getting my brain back into this dating business. I've decided I'll take brains over brawn any day of the week.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Independence Day
Well, I'm back to dating. And I'd like to put my old dating habits behind me. You know, not overload my weeks with dating different guys. Except that's exactly what I did. The next week or so is just a busy week for me to begin with. This weekend is the time where I go camping with my friends (camping = renting a huge cabin in the Poconos, complete with fireplace and jacuzzi, drinking and playing games all weekend), so I'll be gone from Friday right after school until Monday. Thursday my mom and grandma are leaving for Florida so we're going to be having a dinner on Wednesday night. Thursday night is my training night at the gym, so that left only tonight and tomorrow open for dating.
Tonight's date went well. I'd be even so bold as to say that it went very very well, but I don't really want to jump the gun on this one. He had IMed me before on Jdate, and since I had been so caught up in the whole CK thing, I pretty much gave him the run around. I never said that I wasn't interested, but I was always very busy, just in case he asked me out I wouldn't have to tell him I was really dating someone else. Last night he asked if he could call me on his drive home from his parents' place in north jersey, and I wasn't doing much, so we ended up talking on the phone for over an hour. I really hate doing that before a date because it leads to false expectations I think. We decided to go out tonight (because it was the only night this week I had left... either tonight or next Wednesday!). I wanted to go to this cute diner/restaurant in Collingswood, and since he doesn't live far from there we decided to meet there. I warned him that I am frequently late, and he claimed that he's usually on time. Well, reverse that. He got stuck in a back up on the Ben Franklin that made him almost a half hour late and I was actually early, plus he got lost coming over the bridge and I had to call my friend to help get him there.
Once we got there, it really wasn't awkward at all. We had dinner, and shared a milkshake (2 straws and everything), he shared well... and I like that. We made easy conversation, and as far as I know, he has no girlfriend in Canada. About halfway through the date, we notice that they are setting up some sort of Karaoke machine on the table behind us. Thinking that we're going to be subjected to awful, out of tune renditions of Living on a Prayer, I almost suggested we get the check and go. Glad I didn't. Turned out to be Quizzo. Whoohoo. We made a pretty awful team at first (we were Team Salt - we got props for our classy name). He came around to my side of the booth, and we did the "same side" thing for the rest of the evening. We sucked at Current Events, round 1, scoring only 1 measly point, putting us in dead last. The next round was songs with numbers in the title, I kicked ass on this one, and he contributed to a few, but unfortunately we were still in dead last. The third round was Science Fiction which focused most of its questions on SciFi movies from the 80s, 90s, and today. He knew just about ALL of them. At this point, I think we moved into 2nd to last place, over Team OMG (they should've lost for a lame name anyway). The last round of questions was all about rain forests, and we did ok on that one, good enough to retain our status of 2nd to last. Now that it was time for the wager, we decided to go all in. Couldn't hurt us much, and if we didn't wager anything, we'd still lose anyway. The category was Hollywood promo stints. We both thought we were done for. The question - What 1996 movie was the first movie to air a commercial during the Superbowl and is the top 18th grossing moving of all time? (Or something like that) We hemmed and hawed over this for a few minutes. The answer I wasn't 100% sure of, but we took a guess on Independence Day (my suggestion). We were right, and ended up tying for second place overall. We got a $15 gift certificate to the restaurant, which was pretty sweet. He allowed me to keep the gift certificate, which was nice considering he had already paid for the entire meal. The wait staff and Quizzo folk were practically falling over us, gushing about how wonderful it was that we won on our first time here and now how we definitely need to come back again. It was kind of a strange/awkward way to leave things because we hadn't discussed if we would be doing something again.
After we left, we had to go to his car first so I could give him directions on how to get back to his place. We kissed in his car for a little bit, and it was a nice end to a really fun date. It wasn't the typical date that I'm used to, and I think I could get used to this.
Date tomorrow night, different guy.
Tonight's date went well. I'd be even so bold as to say that it went very very well, but I don't really want to jump the gun on this one. He had IMed me before on Jdate, and since I had been so caught up in the whole CK thing, I pretty much gave him the run around. I never said that I wasn't interested, but I was always very busy, just in case he asked me out I wouldn't have to tell him I was really dating someone else. Last night he asked if he could call me on his drive home from his parents' place in north jersey, and I wasn't doing much, so we ended up talking on the phone for over an hour. I really hate doing that before a date because it leads to false expectations I think. We decided to go out tonight (because it was the only night this week I had left... either tonight or next Wednesday!). I wanted to go to this cute diner/restaurant in Collingswood, and since he doesn't live far from there we decided to meet there. I warned him that I am frequently late, and he claimed that he's usually on time. Well, reverse that. He got stuck in a back up on the Ben Franklin that made him almost a half hour late and I was actually early, plus he got lost coming over the bridge and I had to call my friend to help get him there.
Once we got there, it really wasn't awkward at all. We had dinner, and shared a milkshake (2 straws and everything), he shared well... and I like that. We made easy conversation, and as far as I know, he has no girlfriend in Canada. About halfway through the date, we notice that they are setting up some sort of Karaoke machine on the table behind us. Thinking that we're going to be subjected to awful, out of tune renditions of Living on a Prayer, I almost suggested we get the check and go. Glad I didn't. Turned out to be Quizzo. Whoohoo. We made a pretty awful team at first (we were Team Salt - we got props for our classy name). He came around to my side of the booth, and we did the "same side" thing for the rest of the evening. We sucked at Current Events, round 1, scoring only 1 measly point, putting us in dead last. The next round was songs with numbers in the title, I kicked ass on this one, and he contributed to a few, but unfortunately we were still in dead last. The third round was Science Fiction which focused most of its questions on SciFi movies from the 80s, 90s, and today. He knew just about ALL of them. At this point, I think we moved into 2nd to last place, over Team OMG (they should've lost for a lame name anyway). The last round of questions was all about rain forests, and we did ok on that one, good enough to retain our status of 2nd to last. Now that it was time for the wager, we decided to go all in. Couldn't hurt us much, and if we didn't wager anything, we'd still lose anyway. The category was Hollywood promo stints. We both thought we were done for. The question - What 1996 movie was the first movie to air a commercial during the Superbowl and is the top 18th grossing moving of all time? (Or something like that) We hemmed and hawed over this for a few minutes. The answer I wasn't 100% sure of, but we took a guess on Independence Day (my suggestion). We were right, and ended up tying for second place overall. We got a $15 gift certificate to the restaurant, which was pretty sweet. He allowed me to keep the gift certificate, which was nice considering he had already paid for the entire meal. The wait staff and Quizzo folk were practically falling over us, gushing about how wonderful it was that we won on our first time here and now how we definitely need to come back again. It was kind of a strange/awkward way to leave things because we hadn't discussed if we would be doing something again.
After we left, we had to go to his car first so I could give him directions on how to get back to his place. We kissed in his car for a little bit, and it was a nice end to a really fun date. It wasn't the typical date that I'm used to, and I think I could get used to this.
Date tomorrow night, different guy.
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Honest to Blog.
Ended things with CK last night. My day went from good and happy to raging mad to sad and done with it all. Here's how it all panned out. I sent CK a text message in the middle of the day, thanking him for coming out to Jersey, asking how his day was going... blah blah blah. Didn't hear back from him, and then proceeded to do some facebook research, and found pictures of the BFPE in Philly. On New Year's Day. AT THE MUMMERS' PARADE. I lost my shit. Completely. I went through all the stages of rage in a matter of moments (how many stages of rage are there? Is it like mourning? 6 stages? rage, more rage, extra extra rage, disbelieving rage, unadulterated rage, and I'll castrate you rage.) So, saying I was mad might be an understatement. Everything from the previous weeks clicked, with him having to "work" so much, not returning my texts, being inexplicably busy during New Year's. Rage. Pure Rage. I wanted to call him right then and there, tell him off and get it over with. I had sane rational friends with me at the time, and they talked me out of it.
I spent the rest of the evening agonizing and antagonizing the situation. I spent the entire afternoon/evening with friends just to keep from doing something irrational (that and my friend has Rock Band, and it kicks ass). I decided I had to do something before the girlfriend "came" (as if she hadn't already been here) or else I'd really regret it. So I sent him a text, just seeing how the rest of his day was. This was just the goad to get him to text me back. He replied that his day was fine, how was mine? I texted back "We need to talk." I think that is the most dreadful text anyone could send, but the only other thing I could think of to text was "LIAR!" (think: Carol Kane in Princess Bride). So we talked, and it was awful. First of all, he denied that she was even here. At all. And all I'm thinking is... well, I was looking at pictures. and I know they can do a lot with technology today... but seriously. She was here. On the streets of Philadelphia. And if he didn't know about it, well then that relationship is a lot weirder than I thought. But he stuck to his guns. He swore up and down that he KNEW she was not here. And I was not about to admit that I was stalking (ehm. researching) her on Facebook, so I said that I had a friend who had a friend at UArts who knew his gf, and mentioned that she had in fact been here on the 1st. I HAVE SEEN PICTURES. It's true. I would post them here, but that would ruin the poor girl's anonymity, and besides some of you might be eating or something when you read this, I don't want to cause any bodily harm to anyone. (that was low, yes, and it's not her fault her bf is a moron, but here lies a woman scorned... and my one friend did almost throw up when she saw the picture.)
So CK and I ended up talking in circles for about an hour or so. And finally it came down to this:
Me: I want to be with someone who wants to be with me.
CK: (getting defensive) if that's what you want to believe, then fine.
Me: I don't hear you denying it.
CK: I want to be with you most of the time. (meaning not when I'm being emotional or talking about what I want in this relationship)
Me: Well, that's not good enough for me, I want someone who wants to be with me all of the time.
CK: Why don't you take the week to think about things, figure out what you want.
Me: I don't need a week. I don't want to do this anymore.
And that was pretty much it. The BFPE is supposedly here, but who knows. It seems silly to me that she was in Philly... and then went back to Canada (and I do know - thank you facebook - that she did go back), just to come back to Philly for a week? Nonsense. But at least I'm done with this for good. I can't believe this dragged on so long. Not sure how long it will be between now and my next date, but hopefully I'll have something of interest to post soon enough.
I spent the rest of the evening agonizing and antagonizing the situation. I spent the entire afternoon/evening with friends just to keep from doing something irrational (that and my friend has Rock Band, and it kicks ass). I decided I had to do something before the girlfriend "came" (as if she hadn't already been here) or else I'd really regret it. So I sent him a text, just seeing how the rest of his day was. This was just the goad to get him to text me back. He replied that his day was fine, how was mine? I texted back "We need to talk." I think that is the most dreadful text anyone could send, but the only other thing I could think of to text was "LIAR!" (think: Carol Kane in Princess Bride). So we talked, and it was awful. First of all, he denied that she was even here. At all. And all I'm thinking is... well, I was looking at pictures. and I know they can do a lot with technology today... but seriously. She was here. On the streets of Philadelphia. And if he didn't know about it, well then that relationship is a lot weirder than I thought. But he stuck to his guns. He swore up and down that he KNEW she was not here. And I was not about to admit that I was stalking (ehm. researching) her on Facebook, so I said that I had a friend who had a friend at UArts who knew his gf, and mentioned that she had in fact been here on the 1st. I HAVE SEEN PICTURES. It's true. I would post them here, but that would ruin the poor girl's anonymity, and besides some of you might be eating or something when you read this, I don't want to cause any bodily harm to anyone. (that was low, yes, and it's not her fault her bf is a moron, but here lies a woman scorned... and my one friend did almost throw up when she saw the picture.)
So CK and I ended up talking in circles for about an hour or so. And finally it came down to this:
Me: I want to be with someone who wants to be with me.
CK: (getting defensive) if that's what you want to believe, then fine.
Me: I don't hear you denying it.
CK: I want to be with you most of the time. (meaning not when I'm being emotional or talking about what I want in this relationship)
Me: Well, that's not good enough for me, I want someone who wants to be with me all of the time.
CK: Why don't you take the week to think about things, figure out what you want.
Me: I don't need a week. I don't want to do this anymore.
And that was pretty much it. The BFPE is supposedly here, but who knows. It seems silly to me that she was in Philly... and then went back to Canada (and I do know - thank you facebook - that she did go back), just to come back to Philly for a week? Nonsense. But at least I'm done with this for good. I can't believe this dragged on so long. Not sure how long it will be between now and my next date, but hopefully I'll have something of interest to post soon enough.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Not Holding My Breath and Not Smiling.
It had been almost 2 weeks since I had seen CK before tonight. We had very minimal communication over the past 2 weeks as well. A few text messages here and there, and one phone conversation where he told me about the BFPE's impending visit. She is coming this Wednesday and staying through the following Tuesday. I actually think her timing couldn't be better. I have a busy weekend planned and will be spending most of my weekend in Philly anyway for a library convention (Yes, exciting). I wonder what CK would do if I asked him if I could park in his driveway while she's there. Hmmm.
Anyway, I was getting pretty fed up with CK's schedule of not being able to see me, and I resolved that if I did not see him before the BFPE came into town, I was done. For good. As it is, I think I'm resolving myself just to friendship with him for now. Once the BFPE leaves, that is. A lot of people have questioned my judgment on this and really, I need friends with some common interests at home. I have plenty of friends, but none that like the same music or want to see the same movies (case in point - tonight). So, I don't want to rid myself of his presence completely just yet.
Tonight CK actually drove out to jersey and we went out on this side of the river. I knew that this meant there would be no making out or sleepovers, but as I'm trying to do the friend thing... I'm ok with that. We went to dinner at a Thai food place, and of course, it was disappointing. I have yet to find good Jersey Thai. I am of the impression that it does not in fact exist. We had about an hour and a half to kill before the movie, so we went over to Target and shopped for some stuff he needed. It was one of those couplely things that people do, and I didn't like it very much. It seemed to completely contradict everything I was going for in the friendship aspect. The movie (Juno) was great, and everyone who recommended it to me was dead on. The only awkward parts I felt were the sappy moments where they are talking about what love is, and how you know if you've found it. Whatever CK and I have, it is NOT love. It's hardly like most of the time. I wanted to kind of pull my hand away from him and inch my leg out under his hand... it just felt awkward to be cuddling while people were discussing the meaning of love worth living for. Whatever that means anyway. I spend most of my time hating CK, and bitching about him. Because I see him so infrequently, it's very easy to do. I will get caught up in the romance of it for a moment and then as the days pass, I gradually move back into hating him.
I don't think I'll have to wait a few days for this one. When we were about 2 minutes from my house, he felt the need to remind me that the BFPE was coming on Wednesday. I told him I knew, and that after that, we'd go back to being friends. And he replied, for a little while at least. As if I'm going to get back together with him because he's so irresistible? I said, we'll see when we get there. As we got to my house there was a rather quick goodbye which consisted of a kiss on the lips, reminiscent of our earlier days of dating, and he said he'd talk to me in about a week. I looked at him and said, C____, I'm not going to hold my breath. And then I walked out. It was kind of a dramatic goodbye, and it felt really good. At least I have that to carry me over until the next time. Whenever that should be.
In other news of guys I no longer like... my school crush observed me today. Yes, he is my supervisor, so he does observe me for my job. It was a terrible lesson, and I felt like it was probably the worst display of teaching ever presented. I could tell he didn't want to be too harsh on me, and the actual paperwork was ok. However, I did get one comment that did not strike me as being too kind... he said that I should consider smiling more. I don't think that's a legit recommendation, I'm not a smiley teacher. That's just how I am, and I don't think that should be held against me. I have my post-op with him tomorrow, so we'll see. Maybe the combination of CK, the BFPE, and the crush all colliding at one time will be enough to rattle the universe and get some good drama up in here again.
Anyway, I was getting pretty fed up with CK's schedule of not being able to see me, and I resolved that if I did not see him before the BFPE came into town, I was done. For good. As it is, I think I'm resolving myself just to friendship with him for now. Once the BFPE leaves, that is. A lot of people have questioned my judgment on this and really, I need friends with some common interests at home. I have plenty of friends, but none that like the same music or want to see the same movies (case in point - tonight). So, I don't want to rid myself of his presence completely just yet.
Tonight CK actually drove out to jersey and we went out on this side of the river. I knew that this meant there would be no making out or sleepovers, but as I'm trying to do the friend thing... I'm ok with that. We went to dinner at a Thai food place, and of course, it was disappointing. I have yet to find good Jersey Thai. I am of the impression that it does not in fact exist. We had about an hour and a half to kill before the movie, so we went over to Target and shopped for some stuff he needed. It was one of those couplely things that people do, and I didn't like it very much. It seemed to completely contradict everything I was going for in the friendship aspect. The movie (Juno) was great, and everyone who recommended it to me was dead on. The only awkward parts I felt were the sappy moments where they are talking about what love is, and how you know if you've found it. Whatever CK and I have, it is NOT love. It's hardly like most of the time. I wanted to kind of pull my hand away from him and inch my leg out under his hand... it just felt awkward to be cuddling while people were discussing the meaning of love worth living for. Whatever that means anyway. I spend most of my time hating CK, and bitching about him. Because I see him so infrequently, it's very easy to do. I will get caught up in the romance of it for a moment and then as the days pass, I gradually move back into hating him.
I don't think I'll have to wait a few days for this one. When we were about 2 minutes from my house, he felt the need to remind me that the BFPE was coming on Wednesday. I told him I knew, and that after that, we'd go back to being friends. And he replied, for a little while at least. As if I'm going to get back together with him because he's so irresistible? I said, we'll see when we get there. As we got to my house there was a rather quick goodbye which consisted of a kiss on the lips, reminiscent of our earlier days of dating, and he said he'd talk to me in about a week. I looked at him and said, C____, I'm not going to hold my breath. And then I walked out. It was kind of a dramatic goodbye, and it felt really good. At least I have that to carry me over until the next time. Whenever that should be.
In other news of guys I no longer like... my school crush observed me today. Yes, he is my supervisor, so he does observe me for my job. It was a terrible lesson, and I felt like it was probably the worst display of teaching ever presented. I could tell he didn't want to be too harsh on me, and the actual paperwork was ok. However, I did get one comment that did not strike me as being too kind... he said that I should consider smiling more. I don't think that's a legit recommendation, I'm not a smiley teacher. That's just how I am, and I don't think that should be held against me. I have my post-op with him tomorrow, so we'll see. Maybe the combination of CK, the BFPE, and the crush all colliding at one time will be enough to rattle the universe and get some good drama up in here again.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Bored to tears.
I was bored this past week, CK went away to Boston, and I've been thinking... really, this whole girlfriend thing is lame. And I can do better. Way better. So I decided what this last week of the year needed was a date. End the year right. So I did just that. I met a guy online, we had great email communication, and I was really looking forward to meeting him in person. We planned to meet up for drinks on Sunday night. Of course because I had been so looking forward to it, it was doomed from the start. Disappointment abounds. I knew I should not have gotten my hopes up.
From the start, I was disappointed. He was less attractive than the picture he sent, which wasn't anything to write home about in the first place. Also, in the picture it was hard to see how tall he was or what his build was. Turns out he's a bit taller than me, and small framed. Not bad, but not good either. I had taken a risk and wore my heels that are pointy toed and about 2 inches. I was about even in height with him, but because I'm a bigger build, it just made me feel huge. I thought that could be worked out if we had really good chemistry. I've dated small guys before, and it's worked out. We were going to go to a bar on 2nd street around Chestnut, but apparently it's closed. So, we took a walk over to a bar that this guy thought was on the corner of 3rd and Spruce. It wasn't. 3rd and Spruce came and went, we ended up turning down Pine. Now CK lives on Pine, and all I'm thinking was, damn, I should've parked in his driveway and saved myself all this walking. The bar was past 2nd and Pine... so really, we walked way out of our way to get there, and it was rainy and cold out. Also, this guy was a brisk walker. Now, I like to walk at a fairly quick pace. I lived in the city for 2 years, I'm not going to be meandering down the street at a leisurely pace, especially in the rain. But I did have heels on, and I was doing my best to keep up. The quick walker though wanted to keep the lead. He walked a good 2 or 3 steps ahead of me at some times, and I honestly thought if CK hadn't been in Boston, I would've just turned around and go to his place.
We got to the bar, which turned out to be less of a bar and more of a fancy restaurant, and ordered some beers. We had really strained, not connected conversations for about an hour and a half while we drank the beers. If I thought this date was going to be a cure for my boredom, I was wrong, it was only increasing my desire to drink through the pain. Thankfully, my friends from school were at a bar in Old City not far from where we were supposed to be originally, and I told him that I had to go meet them. We each paid for our own drinks (there wasn't even an offer on his part), and we walked back down to Chestnut. Of course the entire time, he was still trying to outwalk me, practically running ahead of me. I wasn't going to risk slipping in the rain in my heels, I am not the most coordinated of people - plus I started working out with a trainer again this week so my muscles could give at any moment's notice.
I ran into one of my work friends on my way from the date to the bar, and when she asked me how the date went I told her that I would take a guy with a girlfriend hands down, so long as I don't have to do any more dates like this one. Yeah, it was that bad that it made me think, hmmm maybe this thing with CK isn't SO bad.
Fortunately, the bar had some good things in store. My friend's friends from high school also came out, and one of the guys there got to talking with me. He was funny, and probably really drunk, but we spent a good while talking and laughing, and it restored my hope again that I will not have to settle for dating a guy who has a girlfriend. I don't think anything will come of this friend of a friend, but it was nice to meet him and be reminded that interesting men that are not taken still exist. As for the quick-walker, I hope to never hear from him again. He'd have to be pretty dense to think that there was any chance there.
My last date of 2007, not so great.... but will there be better in store for 2008? Let's hope.
From the start, I was disappointed. He was less attractive than the picture he sent, which wasn't anything to write home about in the first place. Also, in the picture it was hard to see how tall he was or what his build was. Turns out he's a bit taller than me, and small framed. Not bad, but not good either. I had taken a risk and wore my heels that are pointy toed and about 2 inches. I was about even in height with him, but because I'm a bigger build, it just made me feel huge. I thought that could be worked out if we had really good chemistry. I've dated small guys before, and it's worked out. We were going to go to a bar on 2nd street around Chestnut, but apparently it's closed. So, we took a walk over to a bar that this guy thought was on the corner of 3rd and Spruce. It wasn't. 3rd and Spruce came and went, we ended up turning down Pine. Now CK lives on Pine, and all I'm thinking was, damn, I should've parked in his driveway and saved myself all this walking. The bar was past 2nd and Pine... so really, we walked way out of our way to get there, and it was rainy and cold out. Also, this guy was a brisk walker. Now, I like to walk at a fairly quick pace. I lived in the city for 2 years, I'm not going to be meandering down the street at a leisurely pace, especially in the rain. But I did have heels on, and I was doing my best to keep up. The quick walker though wanted to keep the lead. He walked a good 2 or 3 steps ahead of me at some times, and I honestly thought if CK hadn't been in Boston, I would've just turned around and go to his place.
We got to the bar, which turned out to be less of a bar and more of a fancy restaurant, and ordered some beers. We had really strained, not connected conversations for about an hour and a half while we drank the beers. If I thought this date was going to be a cure for my boredom, I was wrong, it was only increasing my desire to drink through the pain. Thankfully, my friends from school were at a bar in Old City not far from where we were supposed to be originally, and I told him that I had to go meet them. We each paid for our own drinks (there wasn't even an offer on his part), and we walked back down to Chestnut. Of course the entire time, he was still trying to outwalk me, practically running ahead of me. I wasn't going to risk slipping in the rain in my heels, I am not the most coordinated of people - plus I started working out with a trainer again this week so my muscles could give at any moment's notice.
I ran into one of my work friends on my way from the date to the bar, and when she asked me how the date went I told her that I would take a guy with a girlfriend hands down, so long as I don't have to do any more dates like this one. Yeah, it was that bad that it made me think, hmmm maybe this thing with CK isn't SO bad.
Fortunately, the bar had some good things in store. My friend's friends from high school also came out, and one of the guys there got to talking with me. He was funny, and probably really drunk, but we spent a good while talking and laughing, and it restored my hope again that I will not have to settle for dating a guy who has a girlfriend. I don't think anything will come of this friend of a friend, but it was nice to meet him and be reminded that interesting men that are not taken still exist. As for the quick-walker, I hope to never hear from him again. He'd have to be pretty dense to think that there was any chance there.
My last date of 2007, not so great.... but will there be better in store for 2008? Let's hope.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Holiday Cheer
Happy Holidays! However, I'm kind of over the whole holiday season this year, I'm ready for 2008. Last night I spent Christmas Day with CK. He had to work during the day, so the plan was to get some dinner later in the afternoon. I headed over in the evening to his apartment, and things were as per usual. We spent a little bit of time in his apartment. He gave me yet another mix cd, and a little present (a candle) that he had picked up sometime during the past week. I guess I should be glad that he's thinking about me, and making these little efforts to show me he cares, but I was rather ungrateful - and I think my exact response when he told me had gotten me another little something was "why?" Anyway, it was a nice gesture all in all.
We went to Chinatown for dinner, because really what else are two Jews going to do on Christmas for dinner. We did try to go to a Middle Eastern restaurant but that was closed, of course. After much driving around and walking into PACKED restaurants, we did find one not on the main stretch of restaurants. There wasn't a wait, and the menu seemed good enough (seriously, it's Chinese food - how bad could it be?). Actually the restaurant we went to was a Burmese restaurant but it tasted the same. Dinner was nothing short of awesome. We split two dishes, had some good Chinese beer (as per CK's recommendation - he had it in China), and discussed books, music, and just life in general. Things at dinner we good. If I could freeze the date right there and have it remain that way, I would.
We went back to his place, smoked a little, played some Wii, and made out for a while. Maybe it was my slight lack of inhibitions due to the weed (I hadn't smoked in years before last night), but I brought up New Year's, even though I knew he had already told me he wouldn't be able to make it to Brooklyn. He was flying in from Boston on the 31st around 7pm, and didn't want to go up to Brooklyn. Understandable... for most people. I took this as a sign that he just clearly does not want to be with me. I also invited him to come "camping" (in a Troop Beverly Hills kind of way) with my friends next month. I had been very hesitant to extend this invitation because the camping trip is made up of a select group of my best friend's friends and their significant others. It is rare that anyone who is not a very significant other is invited basically because if you attend camping one year as a s.o., you are expected to still be in the picture the following years. I have NEVER brought anyone to camping despite dating someone over this weekend the past 2 years. My friend asked me to invite him, and I do want him to go.... but he said no. I really got angry at him and we had what I guess you could consider our very first fight.
I basically told him that I was sick of him using me, although I couldn't really figure out what he was using me for (we don't have sex that often - nor is it worth being used for), and that after 3 months, I needed to know what I was doing. Of course, we can't have this conversation without the BFPE being brought up. He actually referred to her as the elephant in the room, and I replied, yeah, the Big Fat Pink Elephant... and then kind of laughed and he looked at me all crazy, but I didn't care. I still thought it was funny. He was really defensive at first. I told him I thought his relationship with the BFPE was silly, because really how often can they see each other, and (what I didn't say - but should have) that she's clearly interested in women, and he will never be what she wants (unless he becomes a woman?). He was angry at first, and I could see that we wouldn't get anywhere if I bad-mouthed her. I changed my tune then to basically explain that I've been extending my kindness and friendship to him, and I will stop if it is not appreciated/reciprocated/responded to appropriately. I also told him that in all intents and purposes, I am in this relationship as a relationship. I'm not dating anyone else. He needs to be honest with me about when he is going to be seeing the BFPE, and that I really need to be able to ask questions about her/them/the situation when I see fit - and he needs to be honest with me about it.
This is what I've found out: She is coming in January. She was supposed to be coming this week, and he did tell me that he wasn't planning on telling me. They don't talk as much as they used to, only once or twice a week. And I'm not sure over what medium they communicate (text, IM, phone). They have no plans for the future (I knew this). She is in school, finishing up this year, trying to decide where to go for grad school. That may or may not include Philadelphia. If it does, and she moves back here - they would get back together exclusively (this is the part that confused me) possibly, but they may not (Maybe the fact that she likes girls is hindering this decision?).
The whole evening had a quesy unsettling feeling about it. He did tell me that he and I are in a relationship, whatever that means. He went away to Boston for the rest of the week/weekend. I need some time to process what all of this is going to be. He also said he's going to make more of an effort when it comes to treating me like a friend and being a part of my life (he's going to try to come to camping at least one of the days). It's not as trite as this all sounds, although it's one of those conversations that puts a huge damper on the rest of the night. We just went to bed after that. In the morning before he left, things were fine. As I was walking to my car way too early on a day that I don't have to work (but of course he did), he called out that he was going to miss me. I just smiled and waved, and got into my car. I don't do conversations before 8 in the morning.
I'm ready for this year to be over.
We went to Chinatown for dinner, because really what else are two Jews going to do on Christmas for dinner. We did try to go to a Middle Eastern restaurant but that was closed, of course. After much driving around and walking into PACKED restaurants, we did find one not on the main stretch of restaurants. There wasn't a wait, and the menu seemed good enough (seriously, it's Chinese food - how bad could it be?). Actually the restaurant we went to was a Burmese restaurant but it tasted the same. Dinner was nothing short of awesome. We split two dishes, had some good Chinese beer (as per CK's recommendation - he had it in China), and discussed books, music, and just life in general. Things at dinner we good. If I could freeze the date right there and have it remain that way, I would.
We went back to his place, smoked a little, played some Wii, and made out for a while. Maybe it was my slight lack of inhibitions due to the weed (I hadn't smoked in years before last night), but I brought up New Year's, even though I knew he had already told me he wouldn't be able to make it to Brooklyn. He was flying in from Boston on the 31st around 7pm, and didn't want to go up to Brooklyn. Understandable... for most people. I took this as a sign that he just clearly does not want to be with me. I also invited him to come "camping" (in a Troop Beverly Hills kind of way) with my friends next month. I had been very hesitant to extend this invitation because the camping trip is made up of a select group of my best friend's friends and their significant others. It is rare that anyone who is not a very significant other is invited basically because if you attend camping one year as a s.o., you are expected to still be in the picture the following years. I have NEVER brought anyone to camping despite dating someone over this weekend the past 2 years. My friend asked me to invite him, and I do want him to go.... but he said no. I really got angry at him and we had what I guess you could consider our very first fight.
I basically told him that I was sick of him using me, although I couldn't really figure out what he was using me for (we don't have sex that often - nor is it worth being used for), and that after 3 months, I needed to know what I was doing. Of course, we can't have this conversation without the BFPE being brought up. He actually referred to her as the elephant in the room, and I replied, yeah, the Big Fat Pink Elephant... and then kind of laughed and he looked at me all crazy, but I didn't care. I still thought it was funny. He was really defensive at first. I told him I thought his relationship with the BFPE was silly, because really how often can they see each other, and (what I didn't say - but should have) that she's clearly interested in women, and he will never be what she wants (unless he becomes a woman?). He was angry at first, and I could see that we wouldn't get anywhere if I bad-mouthed her. I changed my tune then to basically explain that I've been extending my kindness and friendship to him, and I will stop if it is not appreciated/reciprocated/responded to appropriately. I also told him that in all intents and purposes, I am in this relationship as a relationship. I'm not dating anyone else. He needs to be honest with me about when he is going to be seeing the BFPE, and that I really need to be able to ask questions about her/them/the situation when I see fit - and he needs to be honest with me about it.
This is what I've found out: She is coming in January. She was supposed to be coming this week, and he did tell me that he wasn't planning on telling me. They don't talk as much as they used to, only once or twice a week. And I'm not sure over what medium they communicate (text, IM, phone). They have no plans for the future (I knew this). She is in school, finishing up this year, trying to decide where to go for grad school. That may or may not include Philadelphia. If it does, and she moves back here - they would get back together exclusively (this is the part that confused me) possibly, but they may not (Maybe the fact that she likes girls is hindering this decision?).
The whole evening had a quesy unsettling feeling about it. He did tell me that he and I are in a relationship, whatever that means. He went away to Boston for the rest of the week/weekend. I need some time to process what all of this is going to be. He also said he's going to make more of an effort when it comes to treating me like a friend and being a part of my life (he's going to try to come to camping at least one of the days). It's not as trite as this all sounds, although it's one of those conversations that puts a huge damper on the rest of the night. We just went to bed after that. In the morning before he left, things were fine. As I was walking to my car way too early on a day that I don't have to work (but of course he did), he called out that he was going to miss me. I just smiled and waved, and got into my car. I don't do conversations before 8 in the morning.
I'm ready for this year to be over.
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