Party People

I don't know how to write this without offending my best friend (or rather - offending her friends), but I have to do this Jdate party justice. Last Saturday I had plans to go to a Jdate party with Debbie. Saturday turned into a busy day of dinner plans, then going to a friend's bar to pick up cupcakes for a picnic the next day, then dropping off the cupcakes at another friend's apartment (so I don't have to cart 21 cupcakes from the UES to the UWS back to Brooklyn and then back to the UWS - instead they just went from the UES to the UWS.) Anyway, when I brought the cupcakes over to my friends apartment to leave them there overnight, I somehow managed to talk her into coming to this Jdate party with me. I failed to mention to her that there would not be the coolest people there, nor anyone she might be interested in dating - because then why would she come with me? I also failed to tell her that there was a $5 cover to get in, and no drink specials... So I paid her cover - what a good friend I am. Ha.

We walk in, and she's already not happy. She turns to me and says, "You've got to be kidding me." I laugh and just push her through the crowd of middle aged Jewish online daters. I noticed that the guy I went on the Dim Sum date with last summer was definitely there, and I made a point to not recognize him.

My friend and I are standing at the bar waiting to get drinks, when a guy gets on the microphone to make an announcement about someone but clearly does not use a normal name, it's some kind of code name. I turn to my friend and say, "oh I forgot to tell you... they refer to everyone here by their jdate names." My friend's response can only be described as a look that was meant to say, "I'm going to kill you for this." I just smiled and shrugged my shoulders, and continued to drink my (overpriced and bad) wine. There also was a guy (and I only know he's a guy because Debbie told me so) video taping the entire thing, and he is easily the most androgynous person I've ever seen. It was creepy and definitely disturbing to think there might be proof that we were at that party! There were lots of couples there, making out or groovin' on the dance floor. My friend turns to me and says, this reminds me of how my grandma always told me there's a match for everyone. I agree, my grandfather always told me "there's a lid for every pot." This party confirmed these ideals for me.

We danced for a little bit (only when the video camera was focused somewhere else), and got the DJ to play Walk it Out (in honor of our last days in Bed-Stuy), which was quite possibly the only saving grace of the evening. After being there for probably less than an hour, we left.

When my friend was describing the party at the picnic the next day, she could not find the words to describe it as accurately as she would like. She just kept saying that it was 10x worse than she could have imagined. I didn't feel like this really did the party justice, or accurately described it. I did my best by describing it as such: When you're on an online dating site, there are still people who say to you, why are YOU dating online, I mean, YOU'RE not desperate. No one ever said that to these people. These people (with the exception of Debbie and a few of her more normal friends...) are the type of people that online dating was MADE for.

Appearance wise... there were a lot of short, balding jewish men and a lot jewish girls with large boobs prominently displayed all over the place. There was plenty of booty shaking, bumpin' and grindin', the kind of dancing that should not be done by people with all the elements working against them - be it height, weight, hair loss, gravity - it was NOT a pretty sight. But I was a few drinks deep, and didn't really care. If it makes them happy - so be it. These party people know how to get down and dirty, who am I care?

It was fun. Almost.

Weekend Updates

... Coming Soon. This week is in intense stress mode, with school ending tomorrow (I can't believe I made it the whole year), graduation was today. My classroom is a mess (nothing new) and I'm trying to move it all out.

I'm a week and a half behind in my cataloging class, and half a week behind in my tech class, and while I'd rather be blogging about dates and this weekend's festivities... I'm stuck doing homework.

But despite all this stress, I dragged myself to the gym today, even though nothing in my body wanted to go (Less than 4 hours of sleep, combined with the heat and level of stress I'm under = not feeling energized). My trainer was having a rough day too, so we said screw the gym and went and got drinks instead! Hooray for cool trainers.

By Thursday I should be back on schedule, and will have another date to blog about... either tomorrow night or Thursday.

Nothing New

I wish I had something really exciting to post, or a new date, or something... but alas, my dating life is non-existent right now. My life is currently consumed with the following things: end of the school year crap, summer grad course, personal trainer/gym, finding a job for next year, and thinking about moving.

I've actually been pretty sad lately. I miss the Israeli a lot more than I thought I was going to, and it has not been fun. I've been back to all my online dating stomping grounds, and I haven't found anything worth pursuing. I'm definitely in a rut, and I know the Israeli has only been gone for 2 weeks, but really I thought I would be over this by now. I think having a bunch of his things at my apartment (that he will be picking up in August) is like a constant reminder, and it's hard. He called me last Monday from Vegas, and sent me a text message on Saturday from Bryce Canyon. He'll be leaving soon for Peru though, and will not have a cell phone while he's there. Maybe when he's out of the country it will be easier... or maybe I'll meet someone fun for the meantime. I hate that I'm looking forward to 3 days in August so much, I'm sure that is a disaster just waiting to happen.

In other newsy things, I'll be heading to a jdate party with Debbie in a few weeks, so maybe that, at the very least will provide something of interest to write about.

Ahhh, boredom.

The End

The Israeli has left for now, and Monday was probably the most emotionally draining day I have spent in many years. So many rounds of crying, I surprised even myself.

The day did not start well. I was irritated with him because he sent me a text message on Monday morning at 5am saying that he just finished packing, was going to sleep for a few hours, and would call me at 1 to make plans for the day. I knew that if he only slept for 3 hours or so, he would be exhausted all day, and not fun to be around. So I sent him a text message back around 9ish saying that I was going to the gym and for him to call me when he was up, but if he was going to be tired like he was on Saturday, I'd rather not. I don't know what I was expecting him to say or do really, but he called me at 1, and said he was running some errands and then he was going to go back to his apartment and we'd get together at 6. Oh no. I did not put aside my whole memorial day to wait until 6 to see him. We got into our first and only argument because I made it clear that I was not happy with that situation. He retaliated with the fact that I had told him that I didn't want to see him if he was tired, and he was going to take a nap so he wouldn't be. I can't really blame him, but in the moment I was angry, and I made some comment about why does he care anyway if I gave up my day for him - he's still leaving the next day regardless. He got really angry when I said that, and said that if I honestly thought he didn't care about me or my plans, then it was nice knowing me, and that's that. I thought he was actually going to hang up on me, but he didn't... and we worked through the issue, and I wound up going over there at 6.

I was unprepared for how emotional I was going to get when I got there. I teared up immediately, and did not set a very good mood initially for the evening. We laid in bed for a while, just talking, and me being weepy and ridiculous. At one point, the Israeli asked me if I really didn't know how much he cared about me. I said that I knew he cared about being intimate with me, but how much he cared... no I don't actually KNOW that he cares about me. Then, he got really upset, and teary and said that it really hurt him that I didn't know that he cared, and if he was only interested in sex do I think he would've done so much just for sex. To be perfectly honest, I don't know. And I wasn't trying to hurt him by saying that, but he kept me pretty separate from the rest of his life here in Brooklyn - which to me doesn't show that he cares very much. When I care about someone, I want them to be as involved in my life as possible. He says that he always invited me out and I always said no, but I only remember saying no once or twice because I actually had other things I had to do. After about 2 hours of teary and emotionally draining conversations (in which the Israeli told me if we both were still single when we were 30, we should get married... 30 is only 3 years and a few months away for me, I'm not in any rush to be married by the time I'm 30, or even at all - at least not the Israeli.)

We went to dinner at a really interesting restaurant in Park Slope, which I had been set on going to. It's an Oaxacan restaurant called Chilies and Chocolate, which serves Mexican style dishes with chocolate and chillies infused into their dishes (so surprising based on the name, isn't it.) We got there at 8:30, and the place looked empty. Maybe 3 or 4 couples eating there, and about 6 open tables. I was surprised when they told us it would be a 20 minute wait because it was literally empty. But the hostess was gracious enough to explain that the restaurant had been slammed with business all day, and the kitchen really needed a break. She also informed us that it is a BYOB restaurant (another huge plus for this place) and pointed us in the right direction of the 7th Ave Wine & Liquor Co. It was a great night, so we walked down to the shop, bought a bottle of wine (and the Israeli bought me a bottle of wine because I saw one there that I thought looked cool - yes I judge my wine based on the bottle), and sat outside the restaurant for the 20 mins until our table was ready. During that time, the Israeli got a phone call from a friend who he had made plans with for dinner already. I had not been happy about this in the beginning, it was supposed to be OUR night, and had voiced that during the argument we had earlier. He had said that he didn't mind cancelling plans with her, and I thought he had done so. He apparently couldn't get in touch with her because she had lost her phone, blah blah blah, and puts me on the spot by asking me while she's on the phone if I mind if she joins us for dinner. Now I know how my mom felt when I used to ask her if friends could eat dinner over or stay over in front of them... I of course said I didn't mind, and honestly at that point it wasn't such a big deal. We went back to the restaurant, and since our party had changed from 2 to 3, we were sat in the back tent, which had a great ambiance. The Israeli went on a bit of an ordering spree, saying he wanted to try it all, so 2 appetizers (one that was supposed to include fried grasshoppers, but apparently they had run out... it was good anyway.) and 2 entrees, and a dessert later... we had a large dinner (which, despite the name, you don't really taste the chocolate as you would expect to, it's not sweetened, so it's really just a smooth flavor that cuts the spiciness down a bit). His friend showed up not long after we ordered, and he introduced me as his girlfriend. Actually this is exactly how he introduced me... "This is my girlfriend, E, who I am leaving." What? His friend actually had such a hard time understanding my name because there was so many other words around it. I looked at him and said, "Really, this is E, would have been sufficient." And then had to introduce myself to the girl anyway, on top of all of that. Dinner was fine, I had a no Hebrew or Russian speaking rule (since both the Israeli and his friend are fluent in both), and I think that hindered the conversation a bit, because while they both speak English well enough, I'm sure there is no way they would have spoken it if I weren't there.

We were at dinner until 10:30, at which point we had to go back to the Israeli's apartment. His boss was coming to pick up his boxes so they could be shipped back to Israel, and he really hadn't finished packing. His boss didn't show up until 11:15 or so, and I was getting nervous because I knew I had to work the next day, and didn't know how I would do that on no sleep. His boss and the Israel took the boxes over to the office and I stayed back to take a nap. The Israeli woke me up about 2 hours later, when he had really finished packing, and all the stuff had been moved out to where it needed to go. Eventually, we got back to my apartment at 2am, and promptly went to bed. I wasn't very tired because I had just taken a 2 hour nap, and had fully woken up from it... so we didn't actually go to sleep until around 4. In that time, there was another round of tears and me getting really upset knowing that in a few hours, he would be gone. We slept from 4 - 5, and then we had to get up so he could leave by 5:30 to make it to the airport on time. The day before (with all my extra free time) I had packed him a breakfast of fruits, cheese, and a variety of nuts for him to bring with him on the plane. I also bought him Brooklyn Follies by Paul Auster, since after we read Oracle Night, Auster will always remind me of him. I walked him outside (because nothing is more irritating then saying goodbye with the awful buzzer on my door - and he had his backpack in my car anyway.) I gave him the book and the breakfast, and we said goodbye. It was less painful and sad than I thought, I was also extremely tired and couldn't wait to get back to sleep for one more hour (making a total of 4 for the night).

Before leaving for school that morning, I checked my phone and saw I had 2 missed calls from the Israeli while I was in the shower. I called him back, and thankfully got him right before he got on the plane. He called to thank me for everything, and he said he'd call me while he was in California. If he does, that's fine, but I'm pretty sure this story is over. They were 4 good months, and I'm surprised I was as upset as I was, because I rarely have ever cried over a guy. I'll miss him for sure, and I'm in my own home stretch in the city. I have just about 3 months exactly left here, and I'm getting sad about moving.

I have no dates planned any time soon. I do have some interviews scheduled for jobs next year, and my first of two summer courses for grad school started yesterday. So that will keep me busy (yet uninteresting) for the time being. It's not the end of the blog, I'm sure, but for now there might be a lack in material.

One Year

Today marks one year since I started the blog, just out of a 5 month relationship (not too much longer than the one I'm just getting out now...) and ready to meet new people. Well, I did just that. This year has brought out the best in me and maybe a little bit of the worst. But no one can say I didn't make the most of my time in New York! Maybe just for fun, I'll have the Israeli wear some make-up tomorrow, we'll go up to Central Park, and he can make racially inappropriate comments as we walk down Broadway. It can be an annual thing. I actually did take him to my friend's bar on Saturday night, which is where the atrocious make-up date ended, and that would have been one year exactly from that date. I have to say though that I think my friend approved more of the Israeli than she did of the make-up wearing racist.

So, I've been hesitant to post about my final weekend with the Israeli, because I really am sad about it. As much as you know that someone is not going to be around and you plan for their departure, it still doesn't stop the sadness from creeping up on you out of nowhere.

We spent the day together yesterday, and we will do the same tomorrow. Yesterday was good fun. He called me in the morning around 10, which surprised me because the Israeli is very rarely up before noon on a non-working day. I was actually still in bed recovering from the night before, but not really sleeping. His brother had just left and he called me right away. He was going to go pick up his glasses and then wanted to come over to my place. I went to the gym and by the time I got back, he was waiting outside my apartment (or rather loitering on the next door neighbor's stoop - times like these would be nice to have a stoop, although my crazy landlord would never let anyone sit on it - it'd probably be alarmed and such). He came up to the apartment, and we chatted with my roommate for a bit as she was getting ready to go for a run. After she left and I showered, we ended up spending a majority of the day in bed. He was really tired from having not slept the night before, and we napped on and off for about 3 and a half hours.

After we got up, we went to Joya for dinner. In the 4 months I have been dating the Israeli it was the first time we had gone to Thai food - and not even my neighborhood Thai place where they know me. It was good, we got to sit outside, and went early enough that there was no wait and it was not crowded at all. After dinner, we went into Manhattan to visit my friend who was bartending. Since she's been hearing about the Israeli first hand since our very first date, I didn't think it would be fair if she didn't get to meet him. I'm pretty sure she liked him well enough, as I think most of my friends have. We stayed for an hour or so, and he was trying very hard not to fall asleep at the bar. We went back to Brooklyn, I picked up my laundry from my apartment and then drove us over to his place (his apartment = free laundry). I did my laundry, and he was trying to set up some arrangements for his travels over the next few months. He is flying out on Tuesday to California where he will meet up with his brother. They are traveling along the west coast for a few weeks, then his brother goes back to Israel, and the Israeli will travel to South America - Peru, Bolivia, and Brazil. Then he comes back to North America and will spend time in Canada, and then taking the train cross-country from Seattle back to New York. He will be here for 3 days in August... I've already told him he can stay here (that is my sadness talking when I say that - and then I remember how much he irritates me sometimes!). Anyway, back to last night, I ended up falling asleep while doing my laundry/reading a book. He finished my laundry for me, which I thought was really sweet, and then came to bed a few hours later. For someone who was so tired when we were out, he found plenty of energy when he got home.

In the morning, we got up relatively early because the Israeli was going hiking today with some of the students from his work. I got to meet 2 of them, which marks the only 2 people I have met that the Israeli has introduced me to. I was supposed to go over tonight, but my parents and brother came up to the city to see a show, and I got back later than I thought I would. I called the Israeli on my way home, and he wasn't back from hiking yet anyway. So tomorrow morning we'll meet up instead. I can use a little rest, and some time to gather my thoughts on how this will all end. One day left until the Israeli dating stories will end (that is until August possibly....)

Perfect Day

It was rainy... and cold - being that it is nearing the end of May. But today was probably the closest I will get to what I imagined my perfect day in the city to be like.

I guess it started last night, when the Israeli came over. We hadn't seen each other since last Friday when he came to the Brooklyn Bridge with my students and me, and that wasn't exactly our most intimate experience. As soon as he got to my apartment, I felt sad and happy and really really anxious. We decided to watch a movie, although not much of the movie got watched and we ended up just stopping it after about an hour and going to bed. We had a really nice night, and my plan was to get up an hour before he did, so I could go to the gym. We both ended up waking up around 10 (I had been up at 9, and decided it was too early to go to the gym, so I went back to sleep). He tried keeping me in bed, and succeeded until about 11, when I did actually get up and go to the gym, leaving him alone in my bedroom. This is not something that I do lightly. I am not a very trusting person when it comes to leaving someone alone with all my stuff... although the thought didn't cross my mind until I was about halfway through my workout. I was definitely relieved to find him back asleep when I came back from the gym.

We showered and went to a delicious brunch in my neighborhood. It's a middle eastern restaurant, so they have middle eastern style brunches, which made the Israeli very happy. We had such a nice time just talking and sharing food, and I was trying very hard to keep the feeling of dread that this will be one of the last days I have with him at bay. He had to go to the eye doctor after brunch to get new glasses, and I was not planning on going with him. The place was all the way down in Brooklyn, off of Ave. U on the F. After brunch the plan was he was going to go to the eye doctor's and I was going to go home. He asked me if I wanted to come with him though, as we were finishing brunch. Being the cynical, jaded girl that I am, my immediate response was - I'm not driving you down there. He looked surprised, and said, No, I just wanted you to come with me, for company. I know I put my guard up when I need to keep myself from getting too emotionally attached to someone, and I'm pretty sure my immediate thought that he was using me stems somewhere from that. Feeling really bad about what I said, I of course agreed to go with him. It was a complex train ride, as the downtown F is not stopping at the station near my apartment this weekend, and it complicated things. We had a nice train ride down though, once we did in fact get on the train.

At the eye doctor (more like an eyeglasses store), I was the only person in the place that did not speak Russian. It was very confusing and a little intimidating. At one point I was getting hot water for my tea, from one of those cooler dispensers, and I (being a genius) could not figure out the contraption to get the hot water (there was a knob and a button...) the woman next to me started telling me how to do it in Russian. I, thankfully, figured it out at the same time, so I just smiled a thank you at her, and pretended like I understood. It was an interesting experience. But it was fun, helping the Israeli pick out new frames (which are practically identical to the ones he has now), and just spending the day together. After he got his frames, and we were walking back to the train, he stopped to get us some ice cream. It was a little cold to be eating ice cream outside, but it was so sweet, I couldn't say no.

He took the train halfway back with me, and when he got off, he said he'd call me when his brother left - that's next Friday. I know we're planning on spending a couple of days during the weekend next weekend, Sunday night - Tuesday pretty much. He leaves Tuesday morning, and then that's it. I can't believe it's been nearly 4 months, and I can't believe I am as sad as I am. Today was not really a noteworthy day of any sort, but it was exactly what I wanted.

Care Bears and Beer

Last night I had yet another date that was not with the Israeli. I am getting a little upset that I haven't really heard from him in his last few weeks here, but more on that later.

Last night I went on a date with a guy I met through the Onion personals. He seemed like he might be a little effeminate for me, but I wasn't going to pass on the opportunity to go on an interesting date. Through one of his emails he confessed that he owned 4 Care Bears. Which I guess could be considered cool... somehow. Anyway, we had a decent phone conversation on Monday night, and decided to meet up for a drink on Wednesday.

When I got off the train on my way home from work yesterday, there were apocalyptic conditions outside. An entire part of a tree had broken off due to the high winds and was lying in the middle of my street, not to mention all the debris and smaller branches from other trees whirling about. I was really tempted to cancel the date, because while a little rain doesn't bother me, it did not seem like it would be good "going out" weather. He text messaged me to see if I still wanted to go out, and decided why not... There was nothing else I was going to be doing besides going to the gym and just hanging out in my apartment.

We met up in Williamsburg, at a bar that I was supposed to go to on a date at the end of last summer (I think it was A Summer's End). I was walking down the street towards the bar, and I see this guy looking at me kind of funny. I looked back, and kept walking, but then realized that the guy looked similarly to the guy I was supposed to be meeting, and maybe it was him. What an awkward moment when you stop and stare at someone that you don't know if it's the right person or not. He said something along the lines of, I think you're looking for me. And I responded with something very intelligent like, Oh am I? He was indeed the guy I was meeting. The bar was too crowded (again) this time due to Trivia and not Bingo, but regardless, there were no seats, and it would not have been a good environment to have a conversation. So, we went down the street to the bar that I went to on the Summer's End date, which was again quiet and relatively empty.

It was a good date. We had a few beers, heard some good tunes, and most importantly, talked. We talked for a while, and he reminds me of a combination of 2 guys that I've dated over the past year. One is a guy from before the blog and the other is D. A strange combination, but has good qualities of both, and not so much the bad qualities. One way he reminds me of D? He's currently living with his ex-girlfriend. WHAT? Ok. He is moving out June 1st. But still.... He assured me that he would not be in contact with his ex once he does move out. I don't really care about that, but they've been broken up for a few months from what he's told me, and he still hasn't moved out. It's a little strange. But he seems like a decent enough guy, and at least I don't know the ex this time. We stayed at the bar until about 11, which is fairly late for a school night and me being all the way out in Williamsburg. We walked over to the train together, and we had to part ways to go down to opposite sides of the G train. He went in for the hug and kiss, but I definitely turned my head, so he only go a kiss on the cheek goodnight. I don't know, I just felt a little weird kissing him in the subway. We went down our separate ways, and he mentioned something about doing this again. I'd be game for it, he was nice enough. I think it would be fun to see where the second date leads too. So long as he really moves out from the ex's place soon... otherwise this could be D-trouble all over again.

Tonight I went to a bar on the UWS with a friend for happy hour. Happy Hour turned into many happy hours, resulting in me drinking way too many beers, doing tequila shots, playing beer pong, and most importantly talking to some guy from Brooklyn and giving him my number. I don't know how I would feel about him in the sobering daylight, but hey, it's something different for a change! Ahh, spring. I heart dating season.

Speed Dating and the Brooklyn Bridge

The past week has been eventful, to the say the very least. On Thursday night a friend and I went speed dating on the Lower East Side. It was your typical speed dating set up (not that I had ever done it before... but it's what it looks like on TV and in movies...), rows of tables and the guys move and I just got to sit there and go on 16 mini dates in about an hour. Each date was 3 minutes long, and for some people 3 minutes goes by really quickly, and for some... it seems like 3 hours of torture. At the end of the 3 minute, the host rings a gong (it was at a bar called China One - I guess they wanted to stick with the theme) and the guys move up one seat. There is also a paper to write everyone's name on and some short notes to help you remember them later when it was time to make the selections.

I have a hard time remember all of the details, but I will do the best I can for each of my dates.

#1 - My notes for this guy were: Ireland. I got to speak with this guy the longest, because he sat down at the table and we started talking before the event officially began. He was nice, foreign (which seemed to be the underlying theme for the night), and seemed like a good guy. It was a good way to start the night.

#2 - Notes: Dr. Brooklyn Heights. So he was a doctor who lived in Brooklyn Heights. Also foreign, from India. I found on this date that it was going to be hard to hear my dates. Yes, they were sitting right across from me, but I was at a table that had another girl sitting directly next to me (with no space in between), so her conversation kept filtering through, and it was just generally loud at this place. So the Dr. from BK Heights was nice, but I had to keep asking him to repeat himself.

#3 - Notes: Financial District. I'm not sure why these are my notes for this guy. I know he lives there now, but it really doesn't tell me much else. I remember that he was from Georgia, and he would have been really cute, except he had this crazy thing going on with his hair. It was straight, and longish parted down the middle and kind of pushed back off his face. It was weird, but other than that, he was probably one of the best looking guys there... which doesn't say too much.

#4 - Notes: dog/beagle/code. I had a hard time remembering this date afterwards when I was hashing out details with my friend. He was her last date, and she thought he was the absolute worst. I'd have to disagree, only because the one after him (my friends 1st date) was by far my worst. So this guy was boring, and clearly older than the age limit (the age of the event was 22-30). He talked about his job which is writing code. I clearly don't know much about that and was bored so I tried to change the subject. I asked him what he does outside of work (which I will clarify that I only asked this as a save question because the worst question all the guys could ask me was "what do you do for fun" because it's such a lame question.), so date #4 told me that he likes to borrow his parents dog, which is a beagle, and take him out in the city and to the park. This date seemed longer than 3 minutes. I was grateful for the gong, but I had no idea what was coming next.

#5 - Notes: surfing/college. The first thing this guy says when he sits down is, "I think you're too old for me." What? I ask him repeat what he just said, just to be sure I heard correctly. Sure enough. I'm too old. Now, I'm right in the middle of the age bracket of the group, so I would have thought this guy would have expected to meet women older than him... being that he was 22. Yes, definitely too young for me. I have a hard time thinking about dating someone who is 25, let alone a 22 year old. I gathered from our conversation that he was not the brightest bulb, and he actually was probably a little bit slow. He talked about how he's in school for engineering (yet, he told my friend something completely different), and that he likes to surf. Whenever I thought 3 minutes should be up, it wasn't. And I just kept thinking that I've been on longer dates than this that were probably just as bad, I can do this... It's just 3 minutes. Finally the host rang the gong, and the longest 3 minutes of my life were over.

#6 - Notes: trucks/? 2nd time. After the last date, anything would have been a welcome relief. This guy sat down, and he was nice enough. He reminded me however a lot of D, physically and in his actions. He told me that he works in transportation because when he was growing up he was obsessed with trucks and trains and things like that. Interesting... It also was his second time doing speed dating. I don't really remember much else about the 3 minutes.

#7 - Notes: none. I did not write a single thing down about this guy. I had a really really hard time hearing him. It turns out, he's from Peru (my friend found this out - not me) and had I known this, I would have had plenty to talk to him about. I couldn't hear a word he said, and he was really awkward and shy. He kept talking down towards the table which made it even worse.

#8 - Notes: Study/. When this guy sat down, he had his paper that he was taking notes on in front of him. He had been talking to a girl before the event began, and on his notes (yes, I looked) he had written "cool chick" and underlined it a few times and drew hearts next to it. He also had the Yes box boldly checked. It was pretty funny, just to see a guy's notes with hearts and stuff drawn on it. We talked pretty much about the psychology of speed dating, and he thinks that most matches come from the very beginning of the night, because after a while you are just exhausted and noone seems appealing. He might be right, the dates did seem wear on you as the night continued. I didn't find out anything about him. That was all we talked about, I think.

#9 - Notes: Finland. When a guy was foreign, I really took to writing down where they were from. This guy was cute, he works for the diplomacy for Finland. He's a political advisor to an ambassador. We talked about Finland and how in the summer it's light 24 hours a day, and in the winter there are months without sunlight at all. I couldn't imagine that. I think that must be the most depressing place to live if there is no sunlight for months at a time. We talked about that for a while, and we talked about teaching some. He was nice, but there was not much of a connection there. An easy 3 minutes, but not someone I'd date again.

#10 - Notes: Concerts. This guy was from Barcelona, and did not speak English very well at all. Besides being hard to hear him, it was hard to understand him even when I could hear him. We ended up talking a lot about concerts and good places to see live music in the city. He must not have been living here for very long, I did ask him... but I couldn't make out his answer, and he had repeated himself so many times prior to that, I couldn't ask him to repeat himself again. So we talked about music and concerts, and he seemed generally clueless about most things musical in the city. From what I could tell, he likes 90s pop rock, and wants to find places that play that type of music live. I told him his best bets were on the LES and in Williamsburg.

#11 - Notes: None. This guy was the last guy before our half-way break. I remember what he looks like. I don't remember what we talked about. Not even a little bit. My friend told me that he was from Russia. I know we didn't talk about that. There was nothing memorable about this guy.

---- Break ---- We had a 15 minute break in which to use the bathroom, get more drinks, stretch, and they served a tray of Chinese food. I didn't have any because I had eaten before and wasn't feeling particularly hungry at that point. It was also a good chance to talk with some of the people you didn't get to talk much with during your 3 minutes. My friend was still talking to her last date, someone I had not yet met, so I went over there, and the first thing my friend says to him is, "Oh this is my friend - she went to Rutgers too." So, this guy was a Rutgers engineering graduate, so we talked about that for a little. He just kept saying that he missed being at New Brunswick and he goes back there almost every weekend. I also talked to my first date (the Irish guy) for a little bit during the break, I think I felt more comfortable talking to him because I already knew more about him.

#12 - Notes: Willsburg. This was my abbreviation for Williamsburg, where he lives. After the break, my 12th date comes to the table with not one, but two drinks in his hand. I look at the two drinks suspiciously, and he says, "well you have to be prepared." He was really nice, and we talked about everything from being a librarian to his work as an animator, to him living in Williamsburg. He looks like he lives in Williamsburg... black plastic glasses, messy hair, selectively mismatched clothing. I probably could have guessed his residence before he told me. Either he did not hear the gong after the 3 minutes were up, or he was having such a good time he didn't want to leave, but the next date was hoovering over his chair and I had to remind this one that he had to move on.

#13 - Notes: Hoboken. This guy was from India, living in Hoboken. His accent though was so strong that I had a hard time understanding "hoboken". He also was wearing colored contacts which was the freakiest thing ever. I don't think I've ever seen a guy with colored contacts on, I have seen many girls with them, and they can look good, but this guy creeped me out with the fake blue eyes. I don't remember what we talked about, I was pretty tired at this point and wouldn't have minded skipping my last 3 dates all together.

#14 - Notes: ER Dr. This guy was old, much older than 30, or at least he looked it. He looked A LOT like the Finnish guy (Date #9) and it was actually kind of hard to tell them apart. Despite having a foreign sounding name, he was American, and just finishing his residency as an ER doctor. He was nice if not a little boring, but it was fine. By this point I felt like I had the same conversation so many times over again, I was boring myself.

#15 - Notes: Rutgers. The guy I had talked to over the break. We talked more about Rutgers and the campus and living in New Brunswick in general. He now lives in Jersey City, but doesn't really like it - and desperately misses New Brunswick. He was originally from India, and we talked about that for a while. There was no real connection, just enough common ground to fill 3 minutes worth of time.

#16 - Notes: None. My last date. This guy was a friend of the Williamsburg guy (date #12), and his friend had bought him the ticket to speed dating for his Christmas present. A strange gift, but maybe he was really lonely. It's been a while since Christmas though... Anyway, we talked about his friend for a bit (who somehow had messed up the rotation, and missed 2 of his dates, and was over by the food, eating). We did the usual talk, where we were each from (he was from LA), what we did for a living, blah blah blah. It was not a bad 3 minutes, but after 16 times, I was just ready to be done.

Finally when it was all over, my friend and I hung out for a bit so I could finish my drink, then headed over to the Life Cafe with her sister to eat dinner and hash out the evening's dates. We agreed on the weirdness of most of the guys, and that the Williamsburg guy had the best energy. I liked him the most of all my dates. I don't know if I will do this again, it was so tiring, but we did we'd go again for free, if the situation arose.

Yesterday, I took my students to the Brooklyn Bridge. The Israeli came with. 6 of my students have now met the Israeli, and it was a bit awkward but it was a really fun trip. On the subway ride back (the Israeli stayed in the city to meet up with his mom and brother), one of my students asked me why I didn't have any kids. I told her I didn't know, and that someday I would. She said to me that I'm going to make a really excellent mother (which was by far the nicest thing a student has ever said to me), and I should have kids soon. I said that I hadn't met the right guy right and when I did, I would have kids. She said, "what about... oh never mind." I replied, "what? what about the Israeli?" I explained that he was going back to Israel very soon, so she said, "Why don't you move to Israeli with him?" I just explained as best I could that I had no interest in moving to Israel, and someday I will meet a guy who lives in America, who I will have kids with. It was the strangest conversation I've ever had with a student, and slightly unnerving. It's amazing how perceptive kids are... and how straight forward.

Interupting Bartender

A date with someone new! It's been so long... and I was feeling anxious with the Israeli leaving so soon. So, I have a few dates in the works, and one that happened last night. I posted an ad on craigslist, and this guy really caught my interest. He wrote a spectacular and unique email, which was so much better than the rest of the emails I got. He was the only one I responded to. We exchanged only 2 emails or so, and decided to meet for a drink last night. I didn't know much about him except that he had a foreign sounding name. I was a little nervous leading up to the date, probably because I've been out of practice for over 3 months.

The date started out fine, we had an awkward encounter as I approached the bar. He was outside smoking a cigarette, which in my opinion is an obvious strike. But I can forgive someone of that if they have enough to offer.

We went into the bar, had a drink, and talked for a while about a lot of things. Books, jobs, where he is from (India), and so forth. It was all going well, until the bartender came over and was like, "Dude, is that your bike (a motorcycle) out there?" My date replied that it was in fact his, and that's where I thought that conversation would end, with maybe a little more detail about the bike given or something, but no... the bartender proceeds to tell us how he used to have a motor-bike when he lived in St. Thomas, and how much fun it was to ride... blah blah blah. He went on for quite a while. After the first interruption, we went back to normal dating conversation. The date was going pretty well, and I was hoping to get to talk more to my date, and not so much the bartender. No such luck. Not long after the first interruption, came another. This time about nothing that was even related to myself or my date. He was just looking to talk to someone, and lucky for us, the bar was relatively empty, so we were his only option for conversation. But I was pretty sure it was apparent that we were on a date. The bartender's girlfriend showed up, and I thought we were in the clear. But no, he introduces us to her, she proceeds to take out a book and read it at the bar, and he keeps on chatting away. At this point, we've had 2 drinks and 3 hours have passed, and I'm pretty ready to get home. What had started out as a good date, was slowly ruined by a bartender who was lonely for some conversation.

All in all, I don't know that I will hear from him again. It was a good date, but I'm pretty sure that this guy is looking for something a little more serious, and I'm looking more to just have fun at this point. He's a good 6 years older than me, and I think looking more along the lines of a wife. (Although I do know that he already has his green card, so at least I know he's not looking for that.) Oh well, he was a nice guy. Cute too. It's a shame.

The Home Stretch

I'm in the final few weeks of dating the Israeli. His mother and brother are both here, staying at his place. And if nothing else, their arrival has fueled his interest in seeing me, more than it has been in the past 3 months.

Last Monday, I got a text message from the Israeli, it read "Please call me as soon as you can." When I get text messages like that, from people I don't normally get messages from... it freaks me out a bit. I was waiting in the subway station when I checked my message, and since there is no reception down there, I couldn't call him until I was above ground. I worried the entire way home that it was something a lot more serious than it turned out to be. I called him while I was walking home, and sure enough, he just wanted to see what I was doing, and he said he would call me back in a few minutes. A few minutes and 2 hours later, he called and asked me if I wanted to go to Union Hall with him and some of his friends (first time I've been invited out with his friends) and then stay over his place, since his mother was in Syracuse overnight. I had a project that was due on Tuesday, and I had already taken off work Tuesday to get it done, I could not justify going out to his place while I had so much work to do. I told him that, and he said that his mother would not be back until Weds, and if I wanted I could come over Tuesday night when I was finished my paper.

I finished my project around 5ish on Tuesday afternoon. I called the Israeli, but he did not answer. I didn't leave a message, but did not hear back from him at all. Around 7:30 I needed to figure out what I was doing for the rest of the evening, so I called him again. Again, he did not answer, but about 2 minutes after I called I got a text message from him. The text message said that he was at the ballet seeing Romeo and Juliet. He did not mention what time he'd be done, or if we were still seeing each other later. I sent him a text back that said I was going to the gym and to let me know if he still wanted me to come over later. I went to the gym and when I came back around 9:30, I still had not heard from him. I called his home phone around 10, figuring if he wasn't there, I wouldn't leave a message, and he wouldn't know that I called. There was no answer, and I did not leave a message. Around midnight I was irritated that I still had not heard from him. I called his home phone again, much to my surprise, someone answered. It was not the Israeli. In fact, it was a woman with a thick Israeli accent. It was his mom. I did not know what to do, so I did what any person (under the age of 15?) would do in that situation - I hung up. I mean what kind of girl calls a guys apartment after midnight... I didn't want his mom to think I am whatever type of girl that is.

I had a missed call from the Israeli on Weds around 2 - when I am definitely in school, and definitely can not answer my phone. I called him back when I got out of the subway on my way home, and was pretty short with him because I was still irritated from the night before. He asked me if he could spend the night at my place that night. I already had plans to go to the movies with a co-worker, although he could have come over after, I still told him no. I wasn't expecting to hear from him again that night, but he called me around 10:30, just to see what I was doing. I had just gotten home, and was not in the mood to entertain the possibility of him coming over. So I told him I was going to bed, and I'd talk to him tomorrow. The Israeli never calls me multiple days in a row, but this past week was a huge exception. He called me Thursday afternoon, a few times. We talked and decided that he'd stay over my place Friday night. He texted me on Friday, multiple times, telling me his plans, and asking me if he could bring anything over. Very sweet, and completely out of character.

He ended up getting to my place earlier than expected, and I was in the middle of watching a movie with my roommate. He joined us, and was pretty much well behaved for the majority of the movie. He was being very cuddly with me while we watched the movie, with his arm around me, and rubbing my back and neck, kissing me on the head. It was all very PG, and I definitely was receptive (and Ok, maybe even a bit reciprocal) to it. My roommate claims that it was very "boyfriend/girlfriend-y."

After the movie ended, the Israeli talked to my roommate for a while, and she gave him advice on touring NYC by foot and places to take his mom and brother. I'm completely inept in this area and stayed out of this conversation completely. Afterward, the Israeli challenged me to a game of Scrabble. I don't know that I would ever feel confident enough to challenge someone to a game where I wasn't a native speaker and the other person was, apparently the Israeli feels that his English skills are parallel to mine. I'm not one to back down to a challenge, no matter how unbalanced it was. He was the one who claimed that he would "kick my ass", not vice-versa. I just simply countered his challenge with my own. I agree that I had an unfair advantage, but I wasn't the one who put the challenge out in the first place. Needless to say, the game didn't last too long before the Israeli realized he was going to lose by a long shot. I am fairly competent when it comes to Scrabble, it's always been my favorite game, and I don't ever play to lose, to a native English speaker or not.

We decided about half-way through the game that we didn't need to finish the game. He forfeited gracefully, and we got ready for bed. While we were in bed that night, he brought up relationship conversations again. I'm not sure if he's getting anxious because he's leaving so soon, but I feel like we talk about this a lot. He again told me how much he was going to miss me... and as per usual, I laughed. He gets irritated when I laugh, and I understand that, but it's my way of reacting without having to tell him that I'm going to miss him too. Of course I'm going to miss him, and eventually I did end up telling him that, but not until after he called me cold hearted, and accused me of not caring.

We slept in the next morning, and were going to have brunch, but ended up not having enough time. He had to meet his brother and mother at 12:45. He invited me to go to Coney Island with them, but thankfully I already had plans. We walked out together, a kiss goodbye, parting ways for me to go the gym and the Israeli to the subway.

These next few weeks will be interesting to say the least. I have no idea how often or when I will see him. I haven't heard from him, and don't know when I will.

Avoided

I managed to avoid an uncomfortable run-in with the Israeli and his mom at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden today. We were both there at the same time, but it was so crowded that it was not an issue at all. Maybe I can avoid the whole parental thing while she's here.

I spent the night at the Israeli's on Thursday night. It was the last night we would spend at his apartment, since now his family is here until he is gone. It was a non-descript night, we hung out, watched some tv, went to bed. We talked in bed for a while, but we were both really tired. The thunder and rain woke us up a few times, so I ended up not sleeping very well either. Overall, not eventful. It wasn't sad, I didn't get the same teary upset feeling that I had felt the last time I was there. I guess he'll be spending more time at my place now, or so he says. I don't know how I feel about that.

He leaves May 29th. I know that he's staying here May 28th... I wonder how I will feel then. The end is so near. That weekend will be one year since I started this crazy blog, one year since that awful make-up wearing date... and I'll be right back to where I started.

(*edit - or rather why I should not post while tired/after a few drinks: for those of you who caught my slip in using the Israeli's real name - thanks for the heads up! It has been changed.)

Motek

The Israeli called me Monday night, around midnight. I was sleeping and pretty irritable from being woken up. He asked if he had woken me, I mumbled something incoherent, and I think he said he'd call me the next day.

He did. He called around 7:30 on Tuesday. He had just gotten home from work, and was anxious for me to come over. At one point while we were talking on the phone he actually said, ok, I'm getting off the phone because I want you to come over. I was doing some school work, so I took my time getting my stuff together to go to his place. He called me probably about 45 minutes later to ask where I was. Yeah. I was still at home, and really still not in any rush. I finally made it over there around 9 I guess.

The Israeli was very affectionate and cuddly from the moment I got there. We hung out on the couch, watched some basketball, and caught up on the week since we had seen each other last. He reminded me again that his mom is coming on Friday. I know. He tells me every time we talk. My parents are coming to visit on Saturday, and we're going to the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens and Coney Island. The Israeli said that he and his mom were going to be at the Botanic Garden on Saturday too, and maybe we could meet up there. Oh no. That would be awful, and way too boyfriendy. Actually, that's more than boyfriendy. My ex who I dated for over 2 years (and lived with) never had his parents meet my parents. I've never had my parents meet the parents of the guy I'm dating. Ever. That's too much of a serious step, especially for someone who is leaving in a few weeks.... and is NOT my boyfriend. I feel like I need to constantly remind myself of that fact.

After the basketball game was over, we chatted for a bit, ended up in his room... We were going to watch a movie, that never happened. I don't know why, but I felt myself getting kind of weepy/teary a few times during the night. I'm hoping it was just hormonal related emotions, but I think I need to face that I really will miss him once he is gone. We stayed in bed for a while, and it was a great time again. Each time is surprising to me. Around 11:30, we decided to shower and get ready for bed. We're chatting before bed, I was sitting on the couch and he brings me a book that he had ordered but knew that I wanted to read too. He told me I could read it first, which was really sweet. I thanked him, and then he told me that he ordered me something. What? I asked him clarify. He said that he bought me something, a present. I asked him what it was, but he only said it was a surprise and I'd have to wait. Sweet, I'm sure. I'm a little nervous though, and I haven't gotten him anything. I don't even really know when the last time I'll see him will be. I guess I should get him something though, now that I know he got me something. Oh dear.

We were going to sleep, about an hour later, and he says to me Layla Tov - goodnight in Hebrew - which is typical... until he added - Motek (sweetie.) I pretended I didn't know what Motek meant. It's the first time he had used that term with me. It's frustrating because I feel like he's getting more and more affectionate emotionally, as well as physically. And then he's going to leave.

A week's time

A lot can happen in a week. Unfortunately a lot can not happen as well. It's been a week since I've talked to the Israeli at all. I honestly was surprised when I didn't hear from him at all over last week. I knew he was going to be going away for the weekend this weekend and I wouldn't see him at all, so I thought he would have called me Wednesday or Thursday night.

By 9:30 on Thursday when I still hadn't heard from him, I decided to give him a call. I first tried his home number, but there was no answer there. I didn't leave a message because I didn't want to have to wait for him to call me back... so I called his cell phone after that. He answered and told me he was still at work, and they were getting ready for the weekend presentations, which I understood was pressing. I told him to call me when he left work. I still haven't heard from him. I mean I guess technically this weekend was work for him, but no, that's not an excuse. His mother arrives on Friday and will be staying for a few weeks, I don't really know how much I will see of the Israeli from this point on. It may even be over for all I know. A week's time is long enough to go without hearing from someone to assume that this may not be happening anymore. After 3 months though, I expect that he should tell me.

In other news, for those of you who don't know this already, I will be leaving the city in 4 short months. I plan to continue dating up until the end, so as not to disappoint. Dating season is right around the corner, oh those summer days. Some choose baseball games, beer, and boyfriends... I choose dating, drinking (beer included!), and double headers... ahh, those summer months. Can't wait!

Night and Day

Friday night the Israeli invited me over for dinner. At first I had thought I was just going to go over as usual, we'd watch a movie and then go to bed. Our usual evening activities. But he told me that he wanted to make me dinner, and had prepared this amazing meal for when I got there. I haven't had a guy cook dinner for me in over 2 and a half years, when I was living with my ex, and he wasn't really cooking for me (when he did cook), it was essential day to day cooking. The Israeli had prepared for me his "specialty" dish, which was fettuccine with a pesto/alfredo sauce with sun dried tomatoes and chicken, and there was a salad of tomatoes, carrots, pine nuts, basil, and feta cheese in olive oil. I brought a bottle of wine. I helped him with the salad when I first got there, and we sat down to my first boy-cooked meal in a very long time. I was so impressed. I could tell he was trying really hard to make a good impression, and he succeeded. He mentioned again about me meeting his mom when she arrives in 2 weeks. It makes me really nervous, and I'm not sure why I would want to, it's kind of awkward. I'm not his girlfriend. So how do you introduce someone like that to your mother who is visiting? This is the girl I've been sleeping with for the past 3 months? I'm not so uncomfortable about meeting his brother who is coming to stay a week later than his mother. They are both staying for an extended time though. His mother is staying for a month, although she will be traveling to other places during that time: Boston, Chicago, etc. His brother is staying for 2 months, but they are traveling to the west coast when the Israeli is done work at the end of May.

The rest of the night was great. After dinner, the Israeli took out some strawberries and grapes, for dessert, but that didn't happen right away. We spent a few hours making out and eventually got back to the fruit, and a movie. We watched Children of Men, and then he was playing more music for me to hear. I was so tired though, it was probably only 1:30, but I was exhausted. I ended up falling asleep on his shoulder on the couch while he was playing with his music. We went to bed not long after that, and he was very cuddly, wanting to hold me, etc. It's all very nice, but I have to keep reminding myself that he is not my boyfriend. At night I need to remind myself of this, in the morning, it's pretty evident. He is 10x less affectionate in the morning, consistently than he is at night. After he gets out of bed in the morning, it's like a totally different person. With the exception of a kiss goodbye usually, once we are out of bed in the morning, there is little to no affection displayed. I'm fine with that, and it helps me when I go home to not be overly expectant of anything to come with him. It's hard when there are such extremes, it's literally the difference between night and day.

Not Mine

So one of the good things about having a dating blog is that it really opens people up to telling you about their bad dates. The following story was told to me by a friend at dinner on Tuesday night. We were at dinner, and the topic turns to dating, the Israeli, my blog... and my one friend turns to the other and says, "You have to tell her the story about the Q-tip guy." Q-tip guy... I'm already intrigued. The date itself happened years ago, and the friend is now happily engaged (so there is hope that after all these bad dates there will be a good one somewhere down the line??). This is her story. It was way too classic not to post (with her permission of course!)

and so without further ado...
The Q-Tip

So this girl, we'll call her A for the sake of the story, was on her 4th date with this guy. He invited A over for dinner, which he was going to prepare. He opens the door wearing a sparkly shirt and shoes. (I'm pretty sure he was wearing pants too, but they weren't worth mentioning... must not have been sparkly enough.) He was a DJ, and apparently had just gotten home from DJing a high school dance. I think he was just dressing to impress, I mean if diamonds are a girl's best friend, sparkly shirts must run a close second. As for dinner, now, he was a few years her senior, and should have had this cooking thing down by then, I would think. But you know, some bachelors rely solely on microwave ovens and take out, and barely know how to boil water. If he needed a little help, that's ok. While he cooked dinner, he proceeded to call his mom on the phone multiple times, (my assumption was to ask for cooking assistance??) but whatever the case may be, the meal did not turn out in his favor. Atrocious may have been the word A used to describe it.

After this really bad meal, he then tells A that he feels sweaty (from cooking? DJing? or maybe the sparkly shirt retains a lot of heat and moisture - part shirt, part greenhouse) and he wants to take a shower. He tells her that she can check her email or go online while he's in there. A little awkward for a 4th date to be left alone under such circumstances. While he's in the shower he calls out for A and asks her if she can bring him some shampoo that's in his hall closet. A goes over, maybe expecting your typical boy shampoo selection. Not for sparkly shirt guy! Of course not, A has the choice of sun-ripened raspberry, peach, and many other Bath and Bodyworks shampoo selections. (This was weird enough - at this point her date was running close to my make-up wearing date which initiated the blog. As this dawned on me, I realized that we hadn't even gotten to any Q-tip action yet!) The sparkly shirt guy (sans shirt) emerges from the shower wearing only a towel wrapped around his waist. He proceeds to walk back and forth in front of where A was sitting, with his towel (and his man-bits) flapping openly for all the world to see.

It could have ended there. It would still have been a horrendous date. But it does not end there. He comes over to A, still dressed only in a towel, and a single Q-tip in hand. While talking to A, he proceeds to clean one ear first, then puts the Q-tip in his mouth and sucks on the end that has just been inside his ear (I wish I could demonstrate through words the actual visual movements that went along with this) and then puts the Q-tip into his other ear and repeats the process several times. I am as skeptical as the next, so of course I ask A: When you say he sucked on the Q-tip... To which A replied: No, he SUCKED on the Q-tip, like a lollipop, like he had never sucked before. From there, I have no idea if she ran out of there screaming, made up an excuse, or climbed out the bathroom window, but she should have high-tailed it out of there pronto.

The story of A and the Q-tip ends there, and even though it's not my own dating disaster, it certainly was a date worth documenting.

Three men walked into a restaurant...

an Israeli, and orthodox Jew, and a Catholic. Sounds like a set up for a joke, but really it was just my night last night.

So, it's been a while and I did see the Israeli Thursday night, which I failed to write about, mainly because there is absolutely nothing to say. He got back from San Francisco on Weds, and called me to see if I was home. I had decided to stay at my parents for one more night, and came back to Brooklyn on Thursday. He went on a hike on Thursday, and originally told me he was too tired for me to come over. He changed his mind around 10, and as usual, I went over. We made out, watched a movie and went to bed. I mentioned that on Saturday I was going to see the Vagina Monologues in Jersey, and the Israeli really wanted to come with. I was a little surprised because it just didn't seem like his thing, and I asked him multiple times if he was absolutely sure he wanted to come. He insisted that he did. So, I reserved an extra ticket, but with some definite reservation. I didn't really want him to come. I have only had bad experiences with the Israeli in public, and I didn't really think I want to introduce him to 2 of my best friends. I was really worried what they would think, especially because one of them (ahem.. Debbie...) has made it perfectly clear that she did not approve of my dating the Israeli.

Saturday was a bit of a blur in the morning/afternoon. I slept in, but woke up with an excruciating headache. After doing nothing for a few hours and feeling pretty bad because of the headache, I decided to take a nap. The Israeli called me during that time to see what time I was going to pick him up for the show, and if I had been feeling better or more awake, I may have asked him to come to my apartment and we'd drive from there, because that just made more sense. Afterward, I ended up going to the gym fairly late in the afternoon, and didn't get back to my apartment until almost 5:45. I should have been at the Israeli's to pick him up at 6:30 to make it to NJ on time. I didn't end up LEAVING my apartment until 6:45 (again, why it would have been beneficial to have him come here), and didn't get to the Israeli's until almost 7:30. The show started at 8. I was freaking out because it was a small theater, and I knew it would be terrible to walk in late because it's a theater in the round, so everyone can see if you walk in late and you're practically sitting on the stage. I was pretty snippy with the Israeli when I picked him up because I was stressed beyond belief, and sped the entire way down through Brooklyn to Jersey. We made it to the theater only 5 minutes late, and only missed the introduction to the show (sorry Deb!!). It was a really good show, and it wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it was going to be, with the Israeli. I mean I doubt any of the guys I have dated have been subjected to an entire night of nothing but talking about vaginas, especially with one of my best friends. But the Israeli really did seem to enjoy it, and in the end, I'm really glad he came. After the show, I introduced him to my friend and her fiance, and a little bit later to Debbie and the guy she is dating.

I was so nervous about him meeting my friends. Because he was such a tool at the dinner party, or maybe it was just my irritation with him that night, but I was worried there was going to be a repeat of that with my friends. Surprisingly, he was not as bad. It was the first time we had been out in public that I didn't feel like I wanted to hide behind something every time he spoke. He got along very well with my friends, and the six of us went out to eat at the diner after the show. It was a nice setting, and everyone seemed to get along very well. (It was the first time any of us had met Debbie's guy as well.) It might have been a recipe for disaster, a secular Israeli, an orthodox Jew, and a Catholic. 3 very different guys, but somehow it worked better than any of our previous attempts at double/triple dating. It was all very easy and comfortable, and everyone seemed to get along very well. The Israeli was definitely playing the part of my boyfriend last night. It was so strange, but it worked. Debbie and the Israeli had a great debate (argument?) on why Debbie thinks Israeli men suck, and no one should date them. Very amusing.

On our way back to Brooklyn, our conversations and the ease I felt around the Israeli was probably the best since our very early dates before he told me he was going back early. He asked me why Debbie didn't like him before she had met him. Besides being Israeli, I explained as best I could about how she didn't like the whole 4 months "wanting to see the world" analogy, and the half-open relationship. He said, yeah, but we decided we weren't going to do that. We did? I don't remember deciding against that? I thought we were free to date other people as long as we weren't sleeping with anyone else. Apparently we never agreed on that and I guess the whole time I was dating the acupuncturist, I was cheating on the Israeli? I don't know about that, but I figure what he doesn't know won't hurt him. I didn't sleep with the acupuncturist, so I didn't break any rules that I thought we had set. Yikes.

We had a nice night back at his apartment, really reminiscent of the first and second night I spent there. He played me all this foreign music, and we just sat on his couch together until it was really late. It was really surprising, I had pretty much written all nights like those off once he told me he was leaving. We didn't really talk more about what we were, because I still don't think that has changed. After our nondescript evening on Thursday I had begun to question why I was still wasting my time with him anymore, last night reminded me of what had been there in the beginning. It makes me happy and sad, because detaching myself from the situation made me not care so much when I thought about him leaving, but it's nice to feel good when I am with him. His mom is coming to stay with him on the 26th, and his brother comes in the middle of May. He has mentioned many times that he wants me to meet them, but I'm not sure how I feel about that.

The Other Team

In honor of it being April Fool's Day and all, I thought I'd give it a try and see what it's like to play for the other team. Sort of.

I went to brunch this afternoon with my uncle and his wife (I have a hard time referring to her as my aunt, even though she has been for 14 years, she's not really the aunt type... and if you know her, you understand - but for the sake of the post, that is what she will be - my aunt.) at a very cool bar in Philly with a great Sunday brunch. The only catch? It's a lesbian bar. I had never been to a lesbian bar before (on edit - that's not true - the bar I went to on my Not For Tourists date with T was a lesbian bar - although I didn't know that at the time and it was a mixed crowd that night due to the event), so I didn't really know what to expect.

It was surprisingly a pretty mixed crowd at first, a lot of lesbians - yes, everyone who worked there was - but a lot of men, couples (mixed - men and men, women and women, men and women), groups of friends (sexual orientation unknown), and my uncle, aunt, and myself. We sat at the bar, and talked to the bartender, who my aunt and uncle have known for quite some time. Apparently there is a topless picture of her on their fridge, or something like that, I don't think I ever noticed it and if I did, it did not leave a very lasting impression on me. Oh well. Anyway, she was funny in a sassy bartender type of way. She looked like any hipster you'd see in Brooklyn, as did most of the girls who worked there. There is the same kind of drama in lesbian couples as there are in straight couples. The bartender is dating the owner of the bar, all the girls who worked there seemed to have girlfriends, and the bartender had no problem dishing all of their secrets to me, my aunt, and my uncle. There was one girl who was working there, who kept watching me, and I have to say... if I were interested in girls that way... I'd probably have been very interested in her. It's a shame I'm not, maybe I would have had something more interesting to post here. All in all, we just exchanged a few glances across the bar, I caught her looking at me more times than I would consider normal (although there weren't THAT many people in the bar to look at anyway...), and it was kind of exciting for an hour or so. We stayed at the bar for a few hours, the brunch was delicious. And the next time I am home, I will definitely go back.

It was a strange feeling, being excited that a girl was checking me out. I am pretty secure in my own sexuality, and I know that I definitely like men, but for the few hours while I was there, I have to admit there were some moments that a few thoughts ran through my head and I thought - why the hell not? Unfortunately, when it comes down to it.... I'm just not attracted to women, no matter how attractive of a woman she was.

Energy

Last night was different than I was expecting it to be. First off, the Israeli did not manage to make it to dinner with my friend and me. Which turned out to be for the best, I think. I don't know that I would have really enjoyed hanging out with him with the company of others... I have sworn that off, since we really are NOT dating. I called him around 9 when I was done dinner and back home, and he got to my place around 10 or so. We hung out in the living room area for an hour or so while he was checking his flight information and such. I decided that I wanted to go to bed kind of early because I knew he'd be getting me up super early when he got up to leave - since I'd have to get up too to let him out of the apartment. So around 11ish I started getting ready for bed. The plan had been for him to read more of Oracle Night and catch up to the part where I had last left off, and then we'd finish reading it together.

We were discussing what time he would need to get up in the morning, and he mentioned something about leaving the light on for him so he could see where he was going at 4:30 in the morning. I was being ridiculously stubborn (in hindsight) and told him that absolutely not was I going to leave a light on in the living room for 5 hours just so he could see in the morning. I told him he could turn on the light when he woke up. Well, this instigated probably the first (and hopefully only) fight I've had with the Israeli. He couldn't see why I wouldn't leave the light on, claiming it would cost me about 10 cents extra if it were on for that time. That's all well and good, but I'm not going to waste energy, and my roommate and I have been trying to conserve energy - and not by keeping lights on all night. We argued about this for a while, and he made some really obnoxious comments about how he obviously values people higher than I do, and that he's so surprised because I'm always so generous with everything else, that I must really be cheap when it comes to electricity. He also said that in Israel, people would always offer to leave a light on for someone if they were in an unfamiliar place and wouldn't care about the electricity. It must be an Israeli thing, he said (meaning being considerate!) He also said that I value electricity higher than I value people. Ooooh, I was so pissed off. I retaliated with the fact that he had never offered to leave a light on for me the countless number of times I have spent the night at his place and had to get up at 5 in the morning. I've stumbled and tripped over speakers, wires, shoes... and not once did he even offer to leave a light on for me. He responded that I had never asked. Of course I would never even think of asking because I would never leave a light on over night... and if he's so considerate, he should have offered without me having to ask. Right?

In between and after all that drama, he caught up to where I was in Oracle, and we finished reading the book together. Finally! It only took about 8 weeks for us to get through... and most of that was read within the first week that we had been dating. It was good in the end, and I will always have a connection with that book to the time I was dating the Israeli. After we finished the book, it was probably close to 1 in the morning, and I was tired. He wanted to fool around a bit, but I was still kind of irritated by the whole energy fight. He was very apologetic, and at one point while we were in mid make-out, he says to me, "there's something I want to tell you. I was going to write it down and leave in a note for you in the morning. Would you rather I tell you now?" In my head, I kind of freak out. My first thought is, oh no, he's going to tell me he loves me. And that's quickly followed by the thought of, or he's going to tell me he doesn't want to see me anymore when he gets back from California. So, of course I tell him that I want him to tell me. He says something along the lines of how I am such a caring and loving person, that if the warmth of my heart could be a light, he wouldn't need any electricity at all. Uhh... what? It was quite possibly the cheesiest thing a guy has ever said to me, and it was completely unexpected as well. I just kind of laughed and said, oh that was so sweet, thanks. He also told me that I can come over every night the week he gets back from CA, since we are both off until the following Weds. I think probably not. We went to sleep not long after that. He got up at 4 in the morning, and I walked him downstairs around 4:30. We said a quick and drowsy goodbye at the door (I was pretty much still sleeping), and that will be the last I will see of him until sometime next week.

Metrosexual

I've been avoiding posting for some reason, it may be the abundance of work, or it may be that Saturday night with the Israeli was so non-descript that I have nothing interesting to say.

He came to my apartment around 9ish. He met my roommate and her friend, where he was less awful than he usually is in social interactions. And I didn't feel the need to rush him out of the apartment as soon as possible like I usually do when my roommate meets the guys I am dating. I apparently have it down to a science. I manage to stand in front of the guy in the doorway between my kitchen and living room. My roommate enters through the kitchen, and I make a quick introduction over my shoulder. Since none of the guys are really tall, my roommate can't really get a good look at them. And if she could it would have to be quick because as soon as I've done the introductions, I usher the date through the doorway and out the already opened kitchen door into the stairwell. That's standard procedure for introducing my roommate to a date. But the Israeli stood in the kitchen and talked to my roommate and friend for a few minutes while I gathered my stuff together. (Which, however had already been gathered, but my roommate made me take off my jacket and put my bag down before he got there - so I couldn't rush the Israeli out of the apartment.)

The restaurant I wanted to go was booked solid for the evening, so we decided on a French restaurant on Smith. It was still a wait at 10 at night, but it is Dine-In Brooklyn week, so what do you expect? We had a really nice dinner, and I commented that this was the first time the Israeli and I had dined in a restaurant together. He argued that we ate out on our first date, which I responded that we've eaten out many times, just never in a restaurant, seated with a waiter and such. Fancy. The food was great and the wine was relaxing, and seriously I'm not sure how I became a girl who could get tipsy off of one glass of wine... but apparently I am.

We went back to his place, where he proceeded to model for me the clothes he had bought at Century 21 the day before. Most were ok, he's an Israeli who thinks he's European and dresses like a metrosexual. However, there was one t-shirt that just crossed the line. I honestly don't know anyone - straight, gay, male, female, ANYONE - who would be caught dead wearing this t-shirt he bought. He put it on, and I almost died laughing. Mean, I know. I wish I had a picture. Imagine an off-white cotton t-shirt, with the sleeves cut off, but not like a muscle t, more like a cap sleeve length, the bottom was also cropped so it hit above the belt on his (way too skinny) jeans. All this was bad enough without the pattern that was on the front of the shirt. It looked a bit like a Native American design, or a poorly illustrated tattoo design tee, symbols and muted colors like browns, oranges, greens, and reds... with a heart in the middle. It was the ugliest shirt I've ever seen. I did him a huge favor by laughing and telling him it was atrocious and to take it off.

After the fashion show, I was exhausted and went to bed. He stayed up and watched tv or something, I don't know. It was the first night we didn't go to bed together - or do anything - before sleeping. The next morning, I woke early and read more of Oracle Night (which we're reading separately now). We got out of bed around 9, and he had to be at a work event by 10 so I dropped him off on my way home.

He's coming over tomorrow night, and staying here because he's leaving at 4:30 in the morning to catch the train to JFK, and the A is much more accessible by my apartment than his. He's coming out to dinner with a friend and me, which means he will have met more of my friends than any guy (including the ex from last year) I've dated since moving to the city.

His family is coming to visit for half of April, all of May and into June. They are staying at his apartment... so he told me he will be spending many more nights at my place. We'll see about that. After his brother leaves on June 20th, he will have one or two weeks left before he leaves to go back to Israel. He's hinted that he has no place to stay when he's in the city - like he wants me to ask him to stay here - but that will be my last week of school and there is absolutely no way I'll even consider that.

Exits and Continuations

It's been a while, and I apologize. Really there's been nothing new to write about. The acupuncturist called me on Sunday night to "talk about last night." I had nothing to say, just as I had nothing to say the night before... and continued to tell him that. Basically, he repeated what he said, that he sees nothing wrong with leaving at 10:30/11 on a Saturday night. Obviously, I disagree. I am a master of twisting things when I want out of a relationship to make it so I don't actually have to do any of the ending of things. I don't like endings... but sometimes it just has to be done. The acupuncturist did not want this to end. He kept saying, "well maybe we both need to think about things, and talk later in the week." I reassured him that no, I did not need to think about anything, and nothing was going to change for me. I told him if he thought things would change for him (like staying out past 11 on Saturday now becomes acceptable), he was more than welcome to contact me, otherwise don't bother. (and yes, I really did say that using almost those words verbatim.) He said that he really wanted to think about things, and if things changed he'd call. I told him I wasn't going to hold my breath. The end. (acupuncturist exit stage left.)

Now onto the Israeli. I thought I had heard the last of him when I did not answer the call waiting on Friday night. I was irritated - for sure - but so long as I don't invite him out to any more group activities, I can still spend time with him one on one. So I returned his phone call, a little while later, but there was no answer. I knew he had lost his cell phone.. so I didn't call his cell, but I left a message on his home phone. I didn't hear from him all week, so I figured he was mad that I was irritated with him for leaving on Friday, and didn't want to talk to me. Thursday morning, I wake up for school as per usual around 6:45, and check my cell phone for the time, get in the shower, get ready for work. As I was going to put my cell in my bag on my way out of the door, I checked my phone again, and noticed I had a missed call. Weird. No one calls me that early in the morning (unless there is an emergency or something - which is of course what I think when my phone rings that early in the morning.) It was the Israeli, and he had called me at 6:50 in the morning. That was surprising. After having not heard from him in 6 days, I kind of expected not to hear from him, ever. And I was going to let that go, although I was going to have to call him to get my pillow back from his place - however I did consider even letting that go as well - it's just an extra pillow. So I returned his call, about an hour later, and again... no answer. So I left a message, and just kind of shrugged it off. I still didn't care enough. After school on Thursday I was online and he IMed me. He asked me if I was angry with him, to which I responded no... because I wasn't. Then he asked me why I hadn't called him all week, I threw that one back at him with the fact that I had called him last, and he didn't return my call until Thursday. His excuse? He lost his phone. Um.. yeah, but that didn't stop him from calling me Friday night or Thursday morning! So, yeah, I mentioned that, and he said he lost the paper which said what number his speed dials were, and he could have sworn I was number 7, but it turns out I'm number 8. Wow. So that was a pretty detailed response for the reason why he hadn't called. He asked me if I wanted to come over later that night. I already had dinner plans with friends, but I told him I would come by afterward.

I got to his place around 11, later than I had planned. He was being so sweet and nice when I got there, and he kept apologizing for leaving on Friday night. I told him it was ok, but he apologized over and over - and told me how much he missed me. I didn't know really how to respond to that. There were things I missed physically about seeing him, but I didn't really miss him all that much. It was nice though to know that if I was angry with him, he might actually care. Still, it doesn't change the fact that he is leaving in just 2 short months now, and that I am not interested in interacting with him in public situations.

That being said, I am going to dinner with him tonight. It will be the first time that we have actually eaten in a restaurant together. Weird. We've eaten together plenty of times, and we don't eat in all that often, so it's strange that we've never actually sat in a restaurant and had a meal together. He also will meet my roommate tonight, which means he will be one of 3 guys in the past 6 months since she's lived here that she will get to meet.